Darshan 20 April 1976

Natyam means a drama, and anand means bliss - the drama of bliss. That is what life is meant to be - a game and play, a game and play of bliss.

From this very moment, start being blissful. Don't wait for any reason - there is no need; just start being blissful.

[A sannyasin said that he experienced fear in the Enlightenment Intensive group he had done in the West.

Osho suggested he do some groups here, and then went on to say that there was no need to fear now... ]

I am here. You can go to the farthest end possible.

I know the fear is always there, but once you have gone to the farthest core of your being and come back, all fear disappears. The fear is of the darkness within you. There are dark corners inside and one is afraid to go into them because they look like black holes. One may completely disappear; one may not be able to come back - that's the fear.

Because of the fear we go on following the travelled path, just the routine. We never go off to the side... we never move into the wilderness - and each human being is a wild phenomenon. These superhighways just pass through one. You can find towns and cities, people and marketplaces on them, but you will never find God. For that you have to get down from the superhighway. You have to find something of your own. One has to have the courage to be lost... then only one finds.

But don't be worried. Just trust me and go in.

[A sannyasin describes some vivid dream experiences:... my tongue seemed to slip back into my mouth, and I had something like a cosmic orgasm.

And another time I was in a whirling vortex. It was as if I was in the middle of a chakra.

In another dream there was a very long snake, and it became very alive... ]

Nothing to be worried about - these are all good indications. The snake is very symbolic. On the lowest rung it is the symbol of sexual energy, and on the highest rung it is the symbol of kundalini.

It is the same energy, and that's why kundalini is called serpent power. Kundalini means a snake sitting, coiled up... almost sleeping.

When it starts rising, it is a tremendous change in your life. If the energy remains at the sex centre you are just for the name's sake a human being. If the energy starts going upwards.... They call it urdhwaretas - an upward journey of your energy. As it goes up it passes through many centres, and those centres are vortices of energy. When it passes one centre you will have certain types of experiences, visions, dreams. When it passes another you will have different types of experiences and visions. There are seven centres.

The first is the muladhar and the last is sahasrar, and there are five others. The sixth is just between the two eyebrows, and one is just in the throat. That throat centre functions when the tongue goes back. So you can continue practising this... it is one of the most meaningful processes. And if it happened to you easily in a dream or vision, it will come easily to you.

[The sannyasin asks if people cut the skin under the tongue.]

Yes, they cut it, but there is no need to if it happens so easily to you. It needs to be cut when the tongue does not move in naturally. By and by, little by little, they go on cutting it so it is easier.

The tongue moving in becomes a bridge between the throat chakra and the ajna chakra, between the two eyes. That always brings a very very deep orgasm. It almost feels like a cosmic orgasm.

Soon this will start happening while you are perfectly awake.

This throat centre is very very meaningful because it is the first centre that starts functioning in the child. The first contact of the child with the world is with the throat. He sucks the milk and the air, and both pass through this chakra first, so this chakra starts functioning first. That's what Freudians call the oral stage of the development of the child's mind. Then comes the anal stage in freudian psychology. Then comes the third stage, the erotic, the sexual stage. Freudian psychology remains confined to these three centres.

But the understanding is perfectly true. The first is oral, and that's how the child comes in contact with the world. When Jesus says that you will not enter the kingdom of God until you become like babes again, he is meaning that you will have to fall back to the oral stage again. And that is the meaning of this chakra. You will have to become like a small babe again.

When the tongue goes inside, this chakra functions tremendously, and one feels very innocent - like a small child. One feels so blissful for no reason at all. So this chakra is very very important.

Just go on trying to bring that feeling that came to you in the dream. Soon it will start possessing you and your whole body will start shaking and go into an orgasm. Allow it and don't get scared...

don't feel afraid. Whenever this happens you will feel a sudden energy arising from the sex centre upwards. This is what comes in the dreams as a snake.

If a person is too attached to the sexual centre he will have sexual dreams. If you close your eyes - and anybody can do this - and just concentrate near the sex centre, suddenly you will be filled with sexual fantasies - immediately. If you move upwards to what I call the hara, just two inches below the navel, and concentrate there, suddenly you will feel as if darkness and death is surrounding you.

That's why many times in sexual orgasm people become afraid of death, because the two centres are very close and sometimes the sexual ripple is so much that it goes on touching the hara centre.

That's why so many people are afraid of sex, afraid of women, afraid of men, afraid of getting into too much intimacy. When their sex centre functions perfectly well, its vibrations start moving towards the death centre - it is very dose. Once the death centre starts functioning, the fear arises.

That's why in deep fear, animals defecate immediately, and sometimes human beings also. They urinate and defecate because once this hara centre moves fast, it needs space. If there is anything in the stomach, in the intestines, it has to be thrown out, otherwise there is no space for this centre.

In fact the word centre is not the right translation for chakra. Chakra means a wheel, and not a stationary wheel but a dynamic one. It is a vortex, like a whirlpool. The word chakra is a very very dynamic energy movement. Each chakra has its own colours, so when you concentrate on a certain chakra you will have certain colours in your dreams and visions. As you move upwards they change.

In fact in yoga psychology, a person's dreams, fantasies, visions, can indicate where his energy is exactly, at what centre.

So go on working at it, and become more and more receptive towards dreams. Keep a diary, and with no interpretations simply note down the dreams, as factually as possible. Don't delete anything, don't add anything. Whatsoever has been, just note it down and forget about it. By and by your diary will become a great discovery because you will see changes happening continuously. Then you can determine exactly where your energy is moving right now.

In Yoga they give particular colours and emotions to each centre. And a few things happen to a particular centre that never happen to any other centre. Those happenings come to your mind only when the energy is moving through that centre and that centre is moving fast and creating great energy fields in you and around you.

So this is very good, mm?

[A sannyasin said she felt fear about returning to Poona for ever.]

Mm, mm (chuckling). Nothing to worry about... the mind always feels afraid of any change. And this is a drastic change - to leave your life there, your work and everything, and to come here. It is a drastic, radical change, and the mind is always afraid.

The mind is always afraid of any commitment. Playing around is one thing. You can come here for a few days and go - that's one thing. You are just a tourist, a visitor... just curious. But when you are coming forever, dropping everything there, the mind starts feeling, 'What are you doing?' Security, safety, the future, the past - everything arises, and everything creates fear.

But it is good that one goes in spite of the fear. If one listens to the fear, it becomes stronger and overpowers you, possesses you, and you become a slave. If you just watch the fear and still go on .

doing whatsoever you wanted to do, putting the fear aside, you soon emerge as master.

Many situations have to be encountered. They are good - howsoever painful it is when one is passing through them. Finally they are beautiful and good because this is how one grows. If there is no problem, no situation, no crisis, no challenges, you will never grow. Growth needs challenges, crises, problems to be faced, encountered, transcended. So the fear is natural.

Fear is not really the problem. When fear becomes so powerful that you cannot do anything against it, then it is a problem... then fear is a neurosis.

[She replies: I began to feel more suicidal than I've ever felt before.]

Everybody has that instinct. When too much fear arises, that instinct also arises in consciousness.

But it is there; it is part of your being, everybody's being.

As we want life, and the lust for life - eros - is there, in the same quantity there is the death instinct, the instinct to die. Whenever there is such a problem which makes you very troubled, rather than facing it the mind says, 'Why not commit suicide so you will be out of fear? Why not destroy yourself?

Then there will be no need to face the situation.' It is just fear persuading your death instinct.

Many times people commit suicide because they were not capable enough to cope with life so they copped out. It is natural... in deep fear the death instinct is stirred. I was thinking that the more you delay, the more problems you will have to face, but in a way it was good, mm?

But it is all over... the nightmare is over. Don't be worried.

[A couple sit in front of Osho. She said that when her boyfriend was with another woman, she realised how little love she had left for him as she had thoughts of leaving him. She said she felt she was functioning from a different centre now; that she felt more independent, but also felt at times, alone.

Osho said that such situations had to be faced and were useful for growth as they brought about a crystallisation in one. For this reason he had not summoned her earlier though he knew she was going through pain, because he wanted her to go through the experience.

Osho said that she should take care not to carry any grudge, for all of us move so unconsciously and cannot help ourselves in our many changes of mind and passing desires. He said that she should be compassionate and help her man and bear in mind that just as she became unconscious in her anger towards him, she should appreciate that her boyfriend was also moving unconsciously in search of love.

If love happens between two people it is beautiful, but we should not take it for granted and think that because a person loved us one day, he will feel the same the next.]

There was a mohammedan mystic, Hassein, who had a very beautiful son - a very very intelligent and talented boy. Everybody loved the boy, but one day he suddenly died. He was just twenty and almost the whole town was in love with the boy.

Hassein looked at the corpse and never cried. Not even a single tear came to his eyes; rather, he started laughing. People could not believe it. They asked, What has happened? Have you gone mad? Has the shock been too much?'

He said, 'No, it is not the shock. I was feeling very very unhappy, miserable, and then suddenly I remembered that when this child was not there I was perfectly. happy. I was alone and this boy was not with me, and there was no problem. I never missed him when he was not there. Now he is gone again, and I am again in the same position. A dream is over, and the one who gave it to me has taken it back. Who am I to say it is not good?'

So always feel grateful. From wherever you find some source of happiness, feel grateful, but don't expect that tomorrow that source will be available or should be available. Otherwise you will fight for it.

I know you have passed through pain. I knew what was happening every day, but I didn't call you because I wanted you to pass through it. You have passed through it and you have survived - and in very good shape.

Good, now love from this different standpoint. This will be more of a friendship and less of a dependence. You will be sharing more without asking that it should be returned.

Love can exist in two ways. One is as a bargain: you give love so that love should be returned. Our eyes are on the return, on what comes back - whether it comes back as much as it should, or less.

It is a bargain.

Then there is another love. You simply give because giving is so exquisitely blissful, so tremendously blissful, that you give and forget about it. If it comes back, okay. If it never comes back, you never expected it in the first place.

[Her boyfriend said that he was feeling very confused. He said that sometimes lately he had felt very far away from Osho and that his body was upset and ill too.

Osho talked about the nature of the mind, saying it is a wanderer, that it is not a crystallised entity, but fragmentary, made up of many parts, so one should be aware of this and not be deceived by the mind.]

And when you feel sexuality arising, rather than just moving into another relationship, because that is not going to help.... This relationship has not helped so how can the other help? You can go into a thousand and one relationships, and you will get more and more confused and fragmented. You will fall apart all over the place, but it is not going to help.

Rather, when you are feeling sexuality, close your eyes and meditate on it: where is it coming from, why is it coming, how is it coming? See that somehow the relationship with the woman with whom you are living is not very deep, not very satisfying.

Make it more satisfying, make it deeper. Make it more open and vulnerable. It is almost as if you eat something and you are satisfied. Then more food can be brought to you but you will say, 'Thank you, I'm full.' If you are satisfied with a woman and another woman passes by, you say, 'A beautiful person, but I am full. I'm completely satisfied.'

Somewhere discontent is there - so that has to be tackled. It is not going to be of any help to move into another relationship because with the same mind moving with you, the discontent will continue.

Discontent is within you. It is somewhere in your relationship. The way you relate is not total.

So make it total... make it more meditative. And don't hide. Tell [her that this is how things are happening, so then she can be helpful and you can move into a deeper relationship; you can make everything as deep as possible. Rather than being attracted to every passerby - you will become a driftwood if you do that - tackle the problem where it is. It is somewhere deep inside you.

It can create many problems. It can create bodily, physiological problems. You will feel depleted.

dissipated.

And of course you will feel far away from me, because being close to me depends on your state of mind. If you are flowing, open, happy, you will feel close. If you are closed, unhappy, in conflict, misery, you will feel far away.

The distance between you and me will depend on your inner quality of mind.

So make it a point that whenever you feel anything arising, tell [your woman]. You are in a relationship, so tell everything; don't hide it. And if you have this problem again, come together.

It can be resolved; there is no problem in it.

She loves you and you love her, mm? But the mind goes on. It is a wanderer, a vagabond, so don't listen too much to it. Otherwise it will take you from here to there and never allow you to settle anywhere; never allow you to be at home anywhere. And your body will be disturbed. It looks disturbed. Your health has not been good - it cannot be in such a state of mind.

(turning to the woman) And... help. This happens - that when he is going through some crisis, you are fighting and doing things. They don't help; they destroy. When he is moving in such a problem, you have to be more loving and you have to tell him to open his heart.

If you start fighting, the problems become more because the relationship becomes even more unsatisfactory. One wants to finish it and go away from it. But this is how the mind goes on in contradictions When there is a need of love, people start fighting. When more compassion was needed they start hitting each other, so whatsoever was left they destroy.

Open your heart, and next time things will be better. Make your love relationship more conscious.

Give more and ask less... and be alert, caring. If care does not arise with your love, these problems

continue. If you care about the person you love, even if the mind starts thinking about somebody else you will drop that subject then and there because you care about the person. You would not like the person to feel hurt or to be miserable.

If love is just an indulgence and not a caring, just a self-gratifying thing and not a sharing, these problems continue. For three weeks, now move into the diametrically opposite dimension. Fall into love more and more and take care of each other, be alert. Don't do anything that hurts... and see how things go. Then tell me.

It will be okay, mm? Nothing to worry about.

[A sannyasin said that she had dysentery and had fasted off and on in an effort to clean her system.]

Fasting is a total science and one should do it under proper guidance, otherwise it is always harmful.

When you fast, pressure is lost and much excreta remains in the intestine. That becomes dry.

Because there is no pressure on it to move, excreta clings to the intestines and becomes dry.

So if you do too much fasting, rather than cleaning it makes your whole system more toxic, and when you start eating there will be trouble. Because of that dry excreta in the intestine you will not be able to digest well, and the movement of the intestine will be hindered. As a hectic effort of the body you will have dysentery. That is an effort of the body to throw excreta out somehow; that's a defence measure. Once you have that, your appetite will be disturbed. You will not be able to eat well and again the excreta will become dry. Again you will eat, and this circle will go on.

To do fasting, many other exercises should be done with it. Fasting should not be total. You can be on just fruits, just vegetables, or on juice, but there has to be something. And with fasting there should be something like an enema to clean the intestine, otherwise this problem arises.

But there is no need for fasting. In fact the body is made in such a way that you can go on eating and there will be no problem. Don't eat too much or too little... just remain in the middle.