Deva means divine and yashodara means the glorious one. Yashodara is the name of the wife of Buddha, too. And that is the true reality of everyone: the glorious one is sitting inside you, waiting for your knock. It is not far away, it is very close by - just a slight turn and the meeting happens. It is not hard work, either.
The very idea of hard work is egoistic. To attain to god is simple, has to be simple. The very idea of much effort is an egoistic idea - the more effort you make, the more you will be and the less will be god. It happens only when you are not, it happens only when the effort is almost absent. Even when following the path of effort, a moment comes when the effort has to be dropped - and then is grace.
So god is never attained through any effort; it is through effort that we go on missing. But we have to make effort, that I know, otherwise we will never understand how to drop effort.
You have been in the gurdjieff work, so you know what is meant by making hard effort. Mm7 gurdjieff was the hardest task master, but the whole work consists of bringing - you to such a pitch of work, to such intensity, to such fire, that nothing can be done beyond it - and that is the moment when one can drop it, never before.
To drop effort one has to go through it absolutely, totally. So effortlessness is not a sort of laziness:
it is the ultimate in effort.
The gurdjieffian work ultimately ends in something like zen - it has to. But many of Gurdjieff's followers have missed the whole message. Followers always miss. The effort became the whole and sole thing - the tree became all, and the flowers have been lost and forgotten completely.
The tree exists for the flowers, not vice versa. Flowers don't exist for the tree; they are the ultimate expression of the tree. The roots exist for the flowers. Although it is true that the flowers cannot exist without roots, they don't exist for roots; they are the end in themselves. Roots have no end, they are means - hence roots are ugly. Out of the ugly roots come the most beautiful flowers. That's why roots go on hiding themselves underneath the ground, in the darkness: they are means, they are not ends.
And still I will repeat: though flowers cannot exist without roots, they don't exist for roots - roots exist for them. The higher cannot exist without the lower, but the higher does not exist for the lower - the lower exists for the higher.
So gurdjieffian work got lost in the hands of the followers who thought that the roots were all: work and work and work, and the quality of play is completely forgotten. Just hard work - it appeals to the western ego very much. That's why Gurdjieff had no effect in the east. You cannot find a single eastern disciple of Gurdjieff. That is something very strange, because his whole teaching came from the East. He collected all his teachings and methods and techniques from the east, but in the east his impact is nil!
What happened? The east should have been more interested than the west. But the reason is, his idea of work appealed to the western mind, which is utilitarian, which is a work mind: do, and anything can be gained out of doing.
But in the east, down the centuries we have felt that the ultimate is never done by doing. When doing disappears and only pure being is left, then it happens - and it happens of its own accord.
You can invite but you cannot pull, you cannot force it to happen.
So in the East we call the spiritual work 'leela' - play, not work. Never before in the east has it ever been called 'work'. Mm? the very word 'work' does not fit; work means something that a man can do. It is grace, it is something that happens.
But I am not saying that the work is not needed - it is needed, it is certainly needed. It is the very roots, but it is not the end. And one day one has to forget the roots and flower! One day one has to forget the whole anxiety of working, attaining, reaching. One day one has to relax so utterly that there is nowhere to go, nothing to find, and in that rest, in that moment, in that pause, suddenly it is there. It has always been there, but we were never so relaxed, so we didn't see it.
[The new sannyasin said that she was with the Gurdjieff group, but left when they denied her experiences of inner kriyas and cosmic consciousness. With the guru Muktananda, she experienced kundalini. She asks Osho: where to go now?]
The first thing to understand: whatsoever experiences happened to you happened because of your work in the Gurdjieff group. They are not unrelated; it is not that they have no reference. It is the whole outcome of the work. It has nothing to do with muktananda or anything else, it has nothing to do with them.
... It is out of your twenty years' work that those things started happening. But Gurdjieff was very much against talking about them. And there is a reason not to talk about them, there is a very
significant reason - because people's minds are so imaginative that when you talk about these experiences only one may be benefited by your talking, ninety-nine will be befooled. That's what is happening with Muktananda and those kind of people.
The mind is such an imaginative faculty that if you talk about Kundalini then everybody's Kundalini starts rising! If you talk about blue light then everybody starts seeing a blue light! People are stupid!
So Muktananda-type people are not helping people really, they are just supporting their imagination.
It is not work at all and it is no work at all. It is just playing... with people's dreams and their imagination - and foolish people are all over the world. And who does not ant to have great experiences? The ego feels very good - and if they are happening so cheaply, with no work at all, so that you just sit and the kundalini rises, and the blue light.... You can see any kind of light and you can see any kind of energy rising, and you can manage it so that you can almost feel that it is real.
Gurdjieff never talked about these things because he was a real master. He knew that when it happens the disciple will come; it is not to be talked about. If you talk about it then a hundred people will come, and only one will be true and ninety-nine will be just fools - so why invite those ninety-nine fools? He was not interested in idiots at all.
And the whole following of people like muktananda are simply idiots! Gurdjieff would not have even allowed them in the premises, these types of people - he would have thrown them out! He was really interested in only very sincere people, sincere in the sense that they had come to work, not to imagine - who had come to change, who were ready to be transformed, who were ready to die for it, and did not just have foolish ideas in the head. You can hypnotise people by just talking about things, and they start... there is no problem in it.
So he worked on people and waited - when those experiences happened the disciples would have to come and tell the master. They would resist for so long that if they were imagining things those things would be dropped. The disciples would try not to say anything. These are foolish things - maybe they are just imagination.
So for years they would not say anything to the master, but if they are real you cannot drop them.
If they are unreal, they will disappear. The unreal comes into existence and disappears easily - it is a dream. But if they are real, they will persist - they will go on hammering on your head. One day or other, in spite of yourself, you will have to go to the master and say 'Now this is happening - and I don't want it to happen, I don't like it happening, and I know that this is all imagination, but it is happening and for years it has happened. Now what to do?'
Then Gurdjieff would start work on another plane. But that thing is lost - it is always lost when a master is lost. Then only the visible part remains, the invisible part is lost; and the invisible is the most valuable, the invisible is personal.
So there were a few people to whom Gurdjieff had said that these experiences were right - but this was his personal communication, and they were also told not to say it to others. He never wanted any fantasy to be allowed, otherwise fantasy runs riot, it goes mad.
It is good that you have come here.... And it is out of your twenty years' work that these experiences have come. Feel grateful to Gurdjieff!
... It has a reference, it has a continuity.... And now much more can happen. Now the work can start on another plane.
How long can you stay here?
You come back again, mm? Longer will be good. and much can be done. But keep in mind that your work is not lost; all that you have done will be used. That has become your foundation - and you have a very solid foundation, so feel happy about it!
And here you meditate, you dance, you sing, and relax, mm? The work part is almost over has to be....
[She asks: Should I still observe impartially?]
Yes, it is very good - you continue. That you continue, but become more and more playful, more and more childlike. And much is going to happen. Good.
[A sannyasin says: I feel good if I sit near and see you.... And I want to ask you: is life beautiful? Is this life beautiful?]
It depends! If you sit in front of me it will be beautiful. If you keep me in front of you, it is beautiful.
Forget me, and it is no more beautiful. It depends on awareness: if you are alert, life is beautiful, if you are asleep, it is not. So no snoring any more, mm? Then it is really beautiful!
But always remember, in itself life is neither beautiful nor ugly; in itself life is neutral. We make it beautiful, we make it ugly; so it is not really a beautiful or an ugly life, it is what energy we bring to it.
If you pour beauty into it, it is beautiful. If you simply sit there and you want it to be beautiful, then it will not be - you have to create beauty.
Beauty is not there like an object, like a rock. Beauty has to be created. You have to give a vision to reality, you have to give colour to reality, you have to give a song to reality - then it is beautiful.
So whenever you participate in creating beauty, it is there; whenever you stop creating, it is not there. Beauty is a creation, so is ugliness. Happiness is a creation, so is misery.
You get only that which you create, and you never get anything else. That is the whole philosophy of karma: you get only that which you do. Life is just a blank canvas - you can paint a beautiful scene, a landscape, or if you want you can paint black ghosts and dangerous people. That's up to you. You can make a beautiful dream or a nightmare.
Once this is understood, things are very simple. You are the master, it is your responsibility. If you enjoy being in hell, it is your choice: you can have a hell as horrible as you want. If you don't enjoy
it, you can come out of it immediately; not a moment's waste is needed. No need to postpone: you can come out of it right now, and you will find that heaven is there.
Ordinarily we think that life has some objective beauty and objective ugliness. No! Life is just an opportunity. It gives you all that is needed: now do it yourself! It is a do-it-yourself: it supplies all - you have to make things out of it.
[The relationship group is present. A group member says she is afraid; afraid of being rejected. The group leader comments that she's afraid to accept love, and is very rejecting.]
If you reject and if you enjoy rejecting, then don't be afraid of being rejected - because rejection will bring rejection. You get only that which you give: the world simply echoes you. If people reject you, that simply means that you must be rejecting them. They simply react; they function like a mirror.
So if you don't want to be rejected, stop rejecting. It is such a simple thing: don't reject! It is a vicious circle. I can understand: you reject because you are afraid they may reject you. So it is better to reject from the very beginning - at least you have the upper hand, that you rejected first. So now there is no possibility of them rejecting you - you have already rejected them. But if you reject, then how can they accept? So you have created the possibility for them to reject you. Now you are in a vicious circle.
Because you are afraid of being rejected, you- are creating their rejection continuously. If you are really interested in being accepted by people, then stop rejecting! Even if they reject, you stop rejecting. That is their problem - if they reject, that is their problem. They will not be happy; nobody is ever happy through rejecting. They will suffer - that is their problem, nothing to do with you. You go on loving people.
If you love, sometimes it is possible that they may reject you. They may be just like you - afraid that if they accept you, you may reject them. So they may reject you. But how long can they reject? Once, twice, thrice - by and by, they will see that anand goes on loving them. So the fear is unbased; she is not going to reject them. Even when they are rejecting her she is not rejecting - so why should they reject? Their fear will drop, they will start accepting you. You have to start it, otherwise your whole life will become a misery: And it is a simple thing....
So the first thing to do is, start loving people, saying yes - even if they say no, knowing that they may say no. Okay! If they say no they will suffer from their negativity - why should you bother about it? Say yes and enjoy the freedom that yes brings. Say yes and enjoy the life that yes brings.
Yes-saying is a great, blissful state. Start slowly.... Drop all cautions - cautious people don't live.
Those who live are the people who can live in danger. Gamblers live, cautious people don't live - they do business, they don't live. They hoard money but they don't live, they protect themselves but they don't live. If you really want to live you will have to be ready to move into danger. And this is the greatest danger: rejection.
Millions of people miss love because they are afraid of rejection - and because of their fear of rejection they are rejected. Now they are creating their own problem. Get out of this vicious circle!
And I am not saying to try to do it: simply get out of it. From this moment simply drop it. For one month live without rejection and see what happens. Let it be an experiment - it will be a great experiment in living. For one month just accept people even if they reject you. Say yes even if they say no, love even if they don't return love. For one month be a spendthrift, and after one month tell me.
You will have a totally different face. You will have a radiancy, you will have a flow in life and fear will disappear. If you can give love, fear cannot exist.
[An italian group member had difficulty relating in the group because she could not speak English.]
Do one thing. It can be used in a very very significant way - this not knowing English can be used.
Try to relate through touch, through smile, through eyes, holding a person, hugging a person, start relating through the body. Laugh, weep, cry, gestures (Osho was gesticulating as he spoke) - look at my hands, mm? Think that you are dumb. What can you do? - you have to relate in some way or other. Find ways and means, and it will be of tremendous significance. Because language is not always communicative.
Ninety percent of language is just an avoidance of relationship. We create a great wall of words to hide the fact that we don't want to relate. So don't be worried about it. You can use this situation in such a beautiful way that you will be surprised! You follow me?
If you want to say something, that you are feeling sad, then why say it? Be sad! They will know what you mean without language. If you want to say that you are very very happy, then why say it? Be happy! And happiness is neither Italian nor English nor German - they will understand. You can dance when you are happy and they will understand. When you are angry you can simply hit somebody - why say it? That will be more true and more authentic and real. And it never misses:
they will understand immediately that you are angry.
Language is a way of saying things which we really don't want to say. For example, I am angry at you and I don't Want to be angry, so I simply say 'I am angry.' It is a very impotent way of saying that I am angry. I love you and I don't want to really say it, so I simply say 'I love you.' Just words! If I love you I will say it in some more real way - why through words?
My approach is always that any situation can be used in a tremendously beneficial way. Now, this is a situation: you don't understand english. Perfectly good! Don't get depressed about it.
[In your next group] try - through gesture, through the face, through the body, through touch, expression, but no language, mm? And you will enjoy it, because you will have a new feeling and you can innovate new ways.
For example if you are lost in China and you are feeling thirsty, what will you do? Show it to me!
... You will have to show the whole thing - what you want, what you are feeling....
[She walks among the group peering between people as if looking for something.]
That won't do either! (much laughter) You have to show that you are thirsty, that your throat is dry, that you will die if you don't get water. You have to show that the water is needed, that you want to drink it; you have to do something. something.
Next group, try, mm? Forget language completely, and you will be really happy finding ways to relate.
You must have been a child once, and you must have related. You were hungry - you had to say something. You were thirsty - you had to relate to the mother. You were feeling cold - you had to cry. So find ways!
And in the ashram also, when you need something, try! Let others also enjoy - try! Mm? Good!
[A couple who did the group speak to Osho. The woman says: The group was really hard for us and just very scary. Feels like everything's turned upside-down. A lot of anger and hate has come up between us.
The leader suggested we do the one hour of looking into each other's left eye and we did that last night. It was really heavy. Phew!
The man said: I feel like something just incredible is starting. I'm very scared and I don't want to turn back. I've been sort of playing a game with you - trying to be very cautious - and I think I'm tired of that.]
Very good! If you are tired, then it is very good, mm? Don't turn back - even if you want to, you cannot now.
One day or other everybody will feel that he is unnecessarily avoiding and playing games. You are bound to get tired, because this being cautious is not going to lead you anywhere. This is simply wasting a great opportunity, but everybody will do it in the beginning. The mind is very clever - at least it thinks it is clever.
So, good that you have seen the tiredness of it and the futility of it. Now let it slip! Don't be cautious; just be true and let things happen. Good!
(to the woman) If anything comes closer to your reality it is always scary, because we live in illusions, we live in fantasies - we don't allow reality to have any say. Now, just looking into his eyes for one hour you will start seeing a thousand and one things that you have been avoiding - they come up.
And it creates fear, because your self-image starts falling down.
You start seeing the anger, the hatred, the jealousy, the politics, the dominating tendencies of possessiveness. And you have always thought that you were such a beautiful woman, so graceful, so great - and that image is falling into pieces. You see a bitch instead of a great image. It scares you. But one has to see the reality, because growth comes only out of the experience of the reality - even if it is the experience of a bitch inside one. Through that bitch you will become a goddess - not through those false images.
One has to base one's life on reality. Howsoever hard, rough it is, one has to make one's base on that. On fantasies nobody can grow; because of the fantasies they remain immature.
So it has been good, you have both come across some space. But much more has to be travelled, mm? And start loving the real - start being real with each other. Hiding helps nobody. And whatsoever you hide will come out - and will come out some time, some day, somewhere, where it will be absolutely irrelevant, because when it was relevant then you repressed it. It will erupt in some moment, in some weak moment when it is absolutely irrelevant. Then it looks almost mad!
Be true to the moment. Yes, sometimes one is angry and sometimes one is jealous and sometimes one is in a fighting mood, but these are human limitations - accept them. And if you know your human limitations, you will be able to forgive him too, because he also has human limitations. Then you don't ask for perfection. And when he accepts his limitations, he will understand your limitations.
Being true always helps one to be more compassionate towards the other. Perfectionists are never compassionate - they cannot have any compassion. If they cannot have compassion on themselves, how can they have compassion on others?
For example, if you see a beautiful man passing by and suddenly you feel sexually interested in him, what are you going to do with this idea that has arisen? Will you tell [the partner], or will you just drop it and not look at it again? If you don't look at it again, if you repress it, you will forget about it.
Then one day you find [him] looking at a beautiful woman: now you are very angry.
If you had accepted your own desire, you would have had much compassion on him. You would have seen the fact that 'Yes, the same has happened to me too, so nothing is wrong in it - it is human!' Then there would be compassion, and out of compassion, understanding.
Seeing oneself, one sees the whole humanity. And I am not teaching you here to become saints - no, not at all. I am here trying to teach you to be real human beings with all the limitations, frailties - so that you can have compassion for the other. And in that understanding and compassion grows love.
So just be alert about your realities, express your realities to the other. Don't try to hide - there is nothing to hide. If you sometimes feel interested in a man, that's natural; you have not committed any sin. And what can you do if you feel interested? It is better to say it rather than hiding it. Telling it you will be relieved, telling it you will also help him to understand his limitations, telling it you will also tell him that you trust him. And you will tell him everything, whatsoever is in your mind. You will not hide anything from him, you will not have any privacy.
Two lovers, if they have privacy, are not really lovers. Lovers should not have any secrets - there is no need.
You can trust that he will forgive you, he will understand you. He can trust that you will forgive him.
And this is how two persons come close and closer and closer and one day become almost one!
Yes, it is hard, but growth is hard. Nothing to be worried about.