Only you can give the Gift of Bliss to yourself
Atma means self, and anand means bliss; self bliss. And by self is not meant the ego. By self is meant your innermost core which is absolutely egoless - your pure self, uncontaminated by the idea of 'I'... undefined by the idea of 'I'. The 'I' is just an arbitrary thing. It is needed - it will be difficult not to use it - but to become it is dangerous. It is just a label for social use. The moment you close your eyes, there need not be any 'I'.
It is needed in relationship. When you are in relationship with a 'thou', the 'I' is needed. It is a term to relate to. When you are not concerned with the 'thou' and you are absolutely alone, the 'I' is not needed.
So when you are in the world, the ego is a utility, but if you carry that ego inside, you, it becomes a hindrance. If you move in the world without any-concept of the 'I', it will be difficult to live in the world. And the same happens if you try to live with the 'I' in the inner world. It is impossible.
So one has to remember that there are things which are needed on the outside, and they are not needed inside. For example if you travel to another country, you will need money. But if you want to go inside for the inner journey, no money is needed. So many things are needed for the outside.
If you talk to somebody, language is needed, but if you want to be just alone, silent, no language is needed. So whether you speak german or english or french, makes no difference. When a frenchman and a german and an englishman are sitting silently, the french is not french, the german is not german, and the english is not english, because they all are sitting silently so they are not using languages. The french is french because he uses a particular language, but silence is not particular - it is universal.
In exactly the same way, the ego is needed for the outside, but for the inside no ego is needed. The ego of the sinner, the ego of the saint - they are all outside. Inside there is neither the saint nor the sinner; neither the good nor the bad. One simply is - with no division... undivided. And in that very moment is bliss. When you have come to the real self, beyond the ego, you have come to bliss too.
So your innermost reality is naturally blissful. That is the meaning of atmananda. It says exactly what jesus says when he says, 'The kingdom of god is within you.'
So if one seeks in the outside - and almost everybody is - one seeks in vain. Because that which you want is within you. You are seeking in a wrong place, in a wrong direction. Your search is right, but your direction is wrong.
I give you this name so that it reminds you again and again - never search for bliss in the outside.
Nobody else can give you that which you need. Only you can give that gift to yourself; nobody else can give it to you. So there is no need to beg. One has just to claim it - to go in and claim it.
And whenever the mind says, 'Have this, have that and then you will be happy,' remember that people have these things and they are not happy. So that is not the way to be happy. I am not saying not to have things; I am simply saying that through things happiness is not possible. Through things only things are possible. If you have money, you can have many more things, but happiness is not possible.
I am not saying to renounce, I am saying simply disconnect this idea of having happiness from things. Disconnect it from without; reconnect it with within. And by and by, you will see the sun rising. By and by you will see a subtle change happening. One day when one becomes really aware for the first time that all along one has carried all that one was seeking and searching for, and that for which one was thirsty and that the river was flowing within, one laughs at the very ridiculousness of it.
That laughter is the beginning of the spiritual. Then you have crossed the threshold of the material.
With that laughter one crosses the threshold and enters the temple.
So you have to remember all this with this name. Whenever somebody calls you atmananda, let this whole climate surround you.
That is the meaning of giving a significant name - so that it becomes a meditation. And it is a very natural thing. The whole day people will be calling your name, and you will sign your letters and this and that, and again and again, 'atmananda' - again and again the kingdom of god is within you...
the reminder that only you can give this gift of bliss to yourself, nobody else... that you are not a slave, but an emperor... that you already have it, that there is no need to go anywhere... that it is your treasure, and it is yours just for the asking. This climate has to be created.
Hence I change the dress... I change the name. Mm? just to create a climate around you so it becomes a continuous reminder like an arrow from everywhere, pointing inwards. Good!
In India, hari is one of the names of god. It is one of the most beautiful names ever invented for god.
It means the thief, one who steals people's hearts, mm? That is the meaning of it - big thief. God is a thief, and you never know when he starts entering you, and when he takes possession of you.
You know only when he has already stolen your heart.
Ordinarily we think that human beings choose god - that is wrong. God first chooses you. Only when he chooses can you choose him, otherwise not.
The very desire to seek truth, the very desire to know what all this is, the very thirst to know god, shows that he has entered - the thief has already entered. There are millions of people who don't have any desire; god is a meaningless term for them - so meaningless that they are not even ready to deny it. They don't bother either way whether god is or is not. It seems irrelevant to them. They are indifferent.
Then suddenly one day one arises in the morning, and a new thirst, a new longing, and a new hope is born... out of the unknown! Just the night before there was not even a hint, and the person had not been doing anything to earn it, and suddenly he is possessed.
That's why hindus call god the thief. He comes when you are fast asleep and steals your heart. He comes when you are engaged in the world and steals your heart. Only when he has chosen you, do vou start choosing him.
Hari means the thief, and devi means the divine; the divine thief. Remember it, and if the thief comes, help him, mm? (chuckling) because he is not the enemy - he is your friend. And when he wants to steal your heart, surrender - don't resist... don't fight with him.
The natural tendency is to fight. Because one does not want to surrender, one wants to remain oneself, and when god comes, you are simply effaced, wiped away. He is like a flood! So one becomes afraid... one starts trembling. God looks like death - and people are very much afraid of death.
I have heard about one christian magazine, 'christian monitor'. It is one of the very old magazines - it has existed for decades - but they have never printed the word 'death'. They don't allow the word to enter in their magazine - so obsessed, so fearful.
In the old days the insurance salesmen used to say to people, 'If you die tomorrow, what will happen to your family? Have you thought about it?'
Now they have changed it. Now insurance companies teach their salesmen never to say this - 'If you die tomorrow' - because it makes people afraid. And when they are afraid, they start defending, and you look like the enemy. So they will not be persuaded by you - they will want to throw you out.
So they never say, 'If you die tomorrow, what will happen to your family?' They have changed it and they found a more cunning way. They say, 'If you had died yesterday, have you ever thought what would have happened to your family Today?'
Now this is beautiful! - yesterday is gone! Nobody can die yesterday. It is impossible to die yesterday, so the person feels very very good. The message is conveyed and he feels very very comfortable with this possibility. 'Yesterday? How can one die? I am alive!' But the message is conveyed and he does not take any antagonistic attitude. And the insurance companies are right - people are very much afraid of death... just the very idea and they start trembling.
God is going to be your death, because when he comes, he wants to possess you sQ totally that he does not leave anything behind... he does not leave you at all. He absorbs you. He is a thief and he is a great spendthrift. He gives himself so much that you are flooded, you are gone and wiped away. So remember this - any day he will knock!
When you come close to me, that means he has already knocked. Deep in your unconscious you have heard the knock, otherwise you would not be here. Nothing happens accidentally. If you are here, you may not be aware why you are here, how you have come, but something in your unconscious has grown. Your conscious may become aware later on, but a great journey has started - you are a pilgrim. And I would like you to prepare.... Many more things are going to happen.
[The new sannyasin says: I'm a student of medicine.]
That's very good. Continue to meditate.
In a better world every man who treats the body will meditate. And when the body is suffering, there must be something behind it, because everything is interwoven. So no man can be treated just by treating his body - his totality has to be treated. But to look into his totality, you have to look into your own totality.
Every physician should be a meditator, otherwise he will never be a real physician. He may have degrees, and he may have a license to Practice medicine, but to me he is a quack because he does not know the whole person, so he will treat symptoms.
Somebody has a certain symptom - a migraine or a headache; you can treat it, but you don't look deep inside as to why he has the migraine in the first place. Maybe he is too burdened, worried, depressed. Maybe he has shrunken so much inside that it hurts. Maybe he is thinking too much and is not relaxing his mind at all. So you can treat the symptom, and you can force the symptom to disappear through poisons and medicines. It will appear somewhere else, because the basic root has not been touched at all.
Symptoms should not be treated, but persons. And persons are organic, total. Sometimes it happens that the disease may be in the feet and the root cause may be in the head. Sometimes the root cause may be in the head, and the disease may be in the feet. Because man is one... absolutely connected! Nothing is discon-nected in him. And not only is the body connected, the body is con- nected with the mind, and then body and mind - psycho and soma - both are connected to a very transcendental soul.
Good! Medicine is good. Mm? Become a meditator too!
... Carry on! It is one of the most beautiful things! Finish it, and carry on medicine also. One day you will be able to enjoy it like an art. Right now I understand - doctors and their life is not worthwhile because they cannot enjoy it as an art. They are sur-rounded by illness and ill people in the hospital, and their whole life seems to be just a wastage. But if they start meditating, loving, and a compassion arises in them, they will see that their life is a great mission, a great discipline. They are fulfilling something, and they are servants of god. But then the whole vision will be different.
Prabhu means god and anudasa means servant of the servant. The whole name will mean servant of god's servants, mm? Kabir says, 'You are too far and I am too small... you are almost beyond my reach. Just give me one gift: allow me to serve your servants. That's enough for me, and I will be contented. By serving your servants I will be linked to you.'
That is the meaning of anudasa....
[At this point Osho was interrupted, by a sannyasin who described an experience he had after taking hash: a sensation of going back to the age of eleven and then, in another sequence, a sensation of dying. After this experience his life changed; he was more relaxed and able to see beauty where he had not seen it before.]
Mm... it was good. Sometimes drugs can trigger something which is beyond drugs. Sometimes a chemical change can give you a glimpse of reality. It has been good - nothing is crazy in it, but it looks crazy. And don't talk about it to people, because unless it has happened to anybody, he will not be able to understand it. So no need to talk about it. Through meditations these experiences will happen again and then you will be in a better position to see - because when they happen through some chemical change, you are in a very dizzy state. You catch something and something goes on missing - it is very vague, ambiguous, dream-like. And later on you cannot even trust yourself as to whether it really happened or it was just imagination.
When it happens through meditation you will be on a more solid ground and things will be more clear.
When it happens through chemical changes.... Any drugs can do this... sometimes it is accidental.
It is not that it will happen to everybody through the drug.
And it is not a question of the quantity. Maybe more quantity and it would not have happened. Maybe that was the right quantity that somehow fitted with you, and it triggered you. If it was too much it would not have happened. If it was too little, then too it would not happen. But it was just accidental that it fitted somehow - the right quantity, and it triggered you. You were not so unconscious, and you were not very conscious either. So you were just wavering, and in that wavering you saw something which can be seen without any wavering.
When one moves into meditation, these things happen, but then you are on more solid ground and you see the whole thing of it and you can relate the whole experience. You can analyse it better also.
And the basic thing that will be different will be that when these things happen through chemicals, they give you a vision, but the vision is of a far away reality, and sooner or later the vision will fade away.
But when it comes through meditation, it never fades - it becomes part of you, because it is not dependent on anything else outside of you. You have come to it independently... as a free agent.
So when it comes through meditation it becomes part of your reality - you can have it any moment.
You can turn yourself on and you can turn yourself off - and then you are in tremendous control.
After the camp, join the music group - so if you can play something, play, or dance, mm? And that will be helpful, very helpful. Some day in the music group this thing will start happening, mm? Music goes tremendously deep, so get completely lost in the music.
And then... Soma group. These are tibetan methods. The book you mentioned - 'the tibetan book of the dead'.... These are all tibetan methods in this group, and you will be tremendously benefitted.
You will go on a deeper journey, and this experience may be revived again... in a better way!