Why not Shoot Yourself?

THESE BEAUTIFUL ZEN STORIES belong to a totally different climate, a totally different psychology. The world has changed too much; there has arisen a gap. Man has become very much knowledgeable. These stories belong to a world, to a time, when people were simple. They were not cunning, complex; they were innocent. Hence there was a possibility of immediate awakening.

Zen has become more and more difficult for the simple reason because man has become more and more complex. Today it is almost impossible to conceive how sudden enlightenment can be possible, how in a single flash of lightning one can be transformed totally. The knowledgeable person can only understand the way of gradualness; his whole education is a process of graduation.

That's why when a scholar comes out of the university we call him a graduate - he has graduated.

Learning comes in steps; unlearning can happen in a single quantum leap. And Zen belongs to the world of unlearning. It is not knowledge; nobody can attain to knowledge suddenly because knowledge is a quantity, it is not a quality. And anything quantitative can only be attained gradually; one graduates in it, slowly slowly one absorbs and digests it.

To emphasize this fact, Gurdjieff used to say that knowledge is a quantity, so much so that if few people have more of it then few others will have less of it. It is just a quantity like money. It is not possible to make all people knowledgeable, only few people will be knowledgeable. Don't take it literally. Many of Gurdjieff's followers have taken it literally. He was simply emphasizing the quantitativeness of knowledge, that there is only a certain quantity of knowledge. If few people

have acquired it, of course others will not be able to acquire it any more. It is like the land: there is a certain amount of it - if few people have acquired it then others will be missing. But those who understand it literally, whether they are enemies of Gurdjieff or his friends, both are missing the point. The point simply is that knowledge is acquired gradually because it is a quantity. Year by year you graduate slowly. It takes twenty-five years for you to learn all that man has accumulated in thousands of years.

But unlearning has nothing to do with gradualness; one never graduates in it. One sees the point and drops it immediately. The knowledgeable person, of course, will find it more difficult because whatsoever he has acquired with years of effort, labor, strain, he is bound to cling to it. The ignorant person has nothing to cling, and the knowledgeable person has many layers covering his vision.

The ignorant person has nothing to cover his vision; he is far more clear.

And you will see this quality in farmers, in carpenters, in gardeners - people who work with the land - the woodcutters, the fisherman. You will find a certain clarity in these people, a certain immediacy of understanding. They may not be able to understand complex theories like Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, but they will be able to understand immediately the beauty of a saying of Jesus or Buddha.

The knowledgeable person may not be able to see the beauty of the saying of Jesus. He may start analyzing it, he may start interpreting it, he may start imposing his ideas upon it. He will distort it; he cannot see it as it is.

If a man like Jesus comes today he will be more misunderstood than he was misunderstood in his own days. If he talks the same language... even in those days the knowledgeable people were not able to understand him. It was the rabbis - the Jewish pundits, the Jewish brahmins - who conspired to kill him. The people who followed him were simple people, very simple people The world has changed so much that now a totally different kind of approach is needed. Zen has to be made contemporary. That's why I am speaking so much on Zen, because I see the immense beauty of it, I see the inestimable value of it. It should not be lost, to lose it will be losing the greatest treasure humanity has discovered. But we are losing it.

You will read this story; it will look like a beautiful anecdote, nothing more special than that. It is far more. It is what Zen calls the special transmission, an illustration of it. But you will have to understand how innocence grasps and how knowledge misses.

After thirty years of meditation a great bodhisattva became enlightened, and in the traditional way he went to the Master to receive a robe. But this is a contemporary story; it belongs to the twentieth century. But instead of giving him a robe the *Mastergave him a piece of paper on which was written the following:

And the Master is right, because there are people like Ayatollah Khomaniac and other maniacs who are his followers. Even with Al-Hillaj Mansoor who has declared, "Ana'l haq! - I am Allah!" they had not behaved in a human way. Today they have become even more inhuman.

price of the nails used last time.

you get someone to taste the wine before you drink it.

have got will become a restaurant.

shoulder and proudly say: "I have found it!"

Shree Rajneesh."

"So," the neo-Buddha asked, "what can I say? Where can I go?" The Master replied, "Shut up and sit down."

It is a totally different time and a totally different mind has come into existence.

If you try to understand these simple parables with your mind, yes, you can enjoy them for the moment, but that's all; they will not help you in your spiritual growth in any way. But if you can put your knowledge aside, if you can relive the innocence that man has lost, that you have tasted in your childhood, then a story like this can be tremendously enlightening.

Go very meditatively into it. And whenever I say "go meditatively into it" I mean don't use the mind, don't go mentally in it. Put the mind aside - that's what meditation is - as if you don't know anything. It will be "as if " in the beginning, but once you have tasted the beauty of innocence and the understanding that happens through it, the "as if " will become a reality, an authentic reality; it will not be an "as if" any more.

SHIH-KUNG WAS A HUNTER BEFORE HE WAS ORDAINED AS A ZEN MONK UNDER MA TZU.

EVEN IN THESE DAYS there were scholars, priests, pundits, professors. They are not mentioned; things like this are not told about them. But a hunter lives in a more authentic way. He lives with the trees and the animals and the earth and the sky, the wind and the rain and the sun. He lives close to the nature. And the person who lives close to nature is in an unknown way, unconscious way, close to God, close to truth.

Because he lives close to nature he has a certain vague awareness of the presence called God.

Of course it is vague, it is not crystal-clear, otherwise he will become enlightened. But he senses it intuitively, instinctively. He is not as dead as a professor, he is not as dull as a scholar; he is alive.

He has to be very alive because his work is with very lively creatures.

SHIH-KUNG WAS A HUNTER...

Ordinarily we will think that a hunter should be the last person to be initiated, to be ordained as a Zen monk by a great Master like Ma Tzu. Logically it seems that hunting is a violent profession, cruel. How can a hunter be initiated into meditation? And how he can become one day a Buddha?

And how this special transmission is possible? But it has happened thousands of times.

It is far more difficult for a businessman, far more difficult for a politician, to have a sudden experience of the presence of a Master, because his work is ugly. The hunter's work may look violent to us, but it has a beauty of its own. Because he lives with wild animals he has a certain wildness in him; he is still part of nature.

There is a similar story in Jesus' life:

One morning he comes on the bank of Lake Galilee. The sun is rising and a fisherman has just thrown his net into the lake to catch fish. Jesus puts his hand on his shoulder; the fisherman looks back. For a moment there is just silence: the silence of the morning, the silence of the lake, the silence of Jesus. And of course the fisherman does not have a very chattering mind.

Before he can ask anything,Jesus says to him, "How long you are going to continue catching fish?

Enough is enough! Come with me - I will teach you how to catch men."

And there is no hesitation at all. The fisherman leaves the net in the lake; he does not even pull it out. Something has transpired. The special transmission has happened. He has looked into the eyes of Jesus; a deep yes has arisen in his being. Whatsoever he has said is so clear: " 'How long...?' Of course, how long I am going to catch fish? Is this all there is to life? - catching fish, selling fish, every day, year in, year out? Is this life? There must be something more in it."

And he can see there is something more in it - this man seems to have attained it. The joy on his face, the serenity of his presence, the silence that has come with him like a shadow, the depth of his eyes, the fire of his being, have kindled something into the simple fisherman's heart.

Without saying a word he follows Jesus. Jesus moves, he follows him.

This man became Jesus' first disciple. His name was Andreas. Because he was the first to be called by Jesus, the very name Andreas has come to mean "the first one who was called by the Master".

It was a rare gift to be called by the Master and to be the first, but Andreas was worthy of it.

Just as they were going out of the village, a man came running and he told Andreas, "Where are you going? Your father is dead! Come back home!"

He asked Jesus - these were his first words - "Please forgive me. Just give me permission for three days so that I can do the last rites and rituals. My father is dead. I have to go and fulfill my duty. If you permit me." But he asks for permission. He does not say, "I am going," he asks for permission.

His father is dead; that is not that much important.

Jesus told him, "Forget all about it. You follow me. In the village there are so many dead people - they will bury the dead. You need not worry about it."

And Andreas never looked back. The man who had come to call him simply stood there shocked, he could not believe his eyes.

This is trust. This quality has lost its hold on human consciousness. That's why religion is only a word, God is only a hypothesis. People talk about God, philosophize about God, but nobody is ready to risk anything.

I remembered this poor fisherman's story yesterday when I saw Rajen's letter. He has written to me that his girlfriend has gone to the West and he cannot stay here without her. And he must have been afraid - I may say, "No need to go..." because by this time she must have found a boyfriend. There are so many boys in the West. If there were so many dead people in the village, what do you think?

- there are not boys in the West? He must have been afraid - I may say there is no need to go, so he has written, "I am not asking for your permission to go, I am simply saying that I am going."

When I was reading his letter I remembered Andreas. This is the gap between the innocent Andreas and a knowledgeable person of the twentieth century. Rajen is a knowledgeable person - a therapist and a good therapist. But it is easy to leave the Master without his permission; it is difficult to live for a few weeks without the girlfriend. Priorities have changed.

Shih-kung was a hunter - not a therapist, not a businessman, otherwise he would have missed.

One friend is here from Nepal; his name is Durga Prasad. A few days before I had answered his question. He asked me: can he also think of himself as a Rajneesh, although he cannot take sannyas? Cannot he be a Rajneesh without becoming a sannyasin? And what is the cause that is preventing him from becoming a sannyasin? He is afraid of his wife, because she is an orthodox Hindu and she will not be able to tolerate it. Such small things! But these are the ways of calculation; these are the ways how businessmen function. These are the ways how the Jewish mind functions.

It is impossible for such a mind to attain to enlightenment.

Then there was this Jewish guy who was so cheap, he rode the subway during rush hour to get his clothes pressed.

And I have heard about another Jewish businessman: he was such a cheat that even the wool he used to pull on people's eyes was half cotton.

It was good that Shih-kung was a hunter - a simple person, a simple life, running after wild animals.

Must have been a wild man. That's why this transmission became possible.

HE STRONGLY DISLIKED BUDDHIST MONKS, WHO WERE AGAINST HIS PROFESSION.

A simple man. He disliked Buddhist monks because Buddhism is against hunting, against any kind of violence. One thing to be remembered: hatred is far better than indifference. It is very difficult for an indifferent person to be transformed. But he was so much full of dislike, so full of hatred for the Buddhist monks and Buddhism that the change, the radical change, was not difficult.

Hate is love upside down; hate is love doing sirshasan, standing on its head. And a man who is standing on his head can be easily put on his feet; that is not very much difficult. The indifferent person is the most difficult person.

And that's what has happened to the contemporary mind. In the past there were theists, there were atheists now there are neither theists nor atheists. There are only indifferent people who don't care a bit about religion. And they are in both the camps, but in fact ninety-nine point nine percent people of the world today are neither theists nor atheists. In fact it is thought to be impolite to discuss such matters In high society people don't argue about God; it is a question of liking: "If you like roses, good; I don't like roses." The matter is finished! There is no question of argument. It is a question of likes and dislikes. Nobody is involved, committed. Nobody will be ready to be crucified for God or for godlessness. Who cares that much? Whether God exists or not does not matter.

The people can go to the churches every Sunday, but that is only a social gesture. It is good, it helps a kind of social relationship. Just as you go to the Rotary Club and the Lions Club and there are many other stupid clubs, so is this church just a club, a Sunday club, a religious kind of club where a priest goes on saying something. Nobody listens, nobody bothers what he is saying. People simply sit there just to show their faces, so everybody knows that you are religious. To be known as religious helps in many ways - in your business, in your social relationships, in your politics. To be known as religious functions like a lubricant; it makes life smooth. So it has a social utility, but nothing else.

In Russia people simply belong to atheism in the same way; atheism is the official religion there. Just as in some countries Christianity is the official religion and in some other countries Mohammedanism and in some other countries Buddhism, so in communist countries atheism is the official religion.

You have to go on just pretending that you belong to the official religion. It is safer, it is secure. It is dangerous to go against the official policy; it can cost you. And nobody bothers now; nobody cares enough to pay for anything.

In Russia a man loudly declared that Joseph Stalin was an imbecile. He was condemned to a twenty-year sentence: five years for defamation and fifteen years for having revealed a secret of state.

SHIH-KUNG STRONGLY DISLIKED BUDDHIST MONKS...

In the old days everybody was either strongly in favor or strongly against. That was important because that showed their interest. And why he was against Buddhist monks? He was against because they were against his profession. He was a simple man, and these people go on talking against violence. And hunting was such a beautiful game for him, and these people don't understand at all - and they wanted to stop hunting completely. And he enjoyed it, that was his joy. He knew his happiness only when he was chasing wild animals. In fact, when you are chasing a wild animal with only a bow and arrow you are risking your life, it is dangerous. In that danger, mind stops. In that dangerous state, thought cannot function. And because of those thoughtless moments, hunting can give you few glimpses of meditation.

He was strongly against and disliked Buddhist monks. If he was indifferent, this story would not have happened.

ONE DAY, WHILE CHASING A DEER, HE PASSED BY THE COTTAGE WHERE MA TZU RESIDED.

NOW THIS WAS ONLY A COINCIDENCE. It was accidental that he passed by the hut of Ma Tzu, but it became the greatest moment of his life.

Even to come in the close affinity of a Master by accident can change your life, can transform you totally. But a simplicity is needed, a simplicity of the heart. The calculating mind can come close and is still going to miss, because between him and a living Master the distance is unbridgeable. He lives in the mind and the Master lives in the no-mind; they are worlds apart. But any person who has a simple heart, is not very much in the mind, is bound to be affected, is bound to be magnetically pulled by the energy field of a Master. It happened in Buddha's life:

He was passing through a forest and people prevented him. They said, "There lives a man who is the greatest murderer we have ever heard of And he has taken a vow to kill one thousand people and to make a garland of their fingers. He has killed nine hundred and ninety-nine persons already and he is wearing a garland of their fingers. Nobody knows his real name; because he wears the garland of fingers his name has become Angulimal" - angulimal means a garland of fingers. "He is waiting for one person more, but now everybody has become so much afraid and frightened that the road is closed; nobody ever passes from this side. People who have to go have to take a long route.

Even the king has not courage enough to pass from this road with all his army.

"The man is ferocious, the man is like a lion. He is not a man, he is a man-eater! He is so dangerous that last time he told his mother..." because she was the only person who used to visit him, once in a while, to persuade him that "Enough is enough! Now stop this!"

"Last time he told her, 'Don't come again to me because now I am waiting for the last person. If nobody else comes I will kill you but I have to fulfill my vow. One thousand persons I have to kill!'

So now the mother also has stopped going there. Please don't go from this route. This path is deserted."

Buddha said, "If you had not told me, then I may have gone by the other road. But now that I know that he is waiting for one person only and nobody is willing to go, not even his mother, then if I don't go what is going to happen to his vow? And I am going to die anyway sooner or later, so let him fulfill his vow. And who knows whether he will be able to kill me or I will be able to kill him?"

People said, "You seem to be crazy! How can you kill him? You don't believe in killing and you don't have any weapon with you."

Buddha said, "I am the weapon. Let him have a try and let me also have a try." And he went.

Even the great followers who always used to surround him started lagging behind. By the time he reached close to Angulimal's place they were miles behind. Nobody was there, only Buddha was there. They were watching from far away what happens.

Angulimal saw Gautam the Buddha coming. He was not aware of who this man was, but something was beautiful about this man, the way he was coming, the joy, the peace, the silence. And Angulimal was a simple man - this type of people are always simple people - ignorant, but innocent too.

As Buddha came close by, first he thought, "Let us kill this man and finish the whole thing so I can forget about the matter, because now nobody comes." But as Buddha came close by he started feeling a strange love for the man, a great compassion for the man he has never felt for anybody. It was so strange, so new, he could not believe it.

And when Buddha came in front of him he said to Buddha, "Please, you go. I am a dangerous man.

It seems you don't know about me. You look so innocent. I am Angulimal! You see the garland? Nine hundred and ninety-nine people I have killed; I am waiting for the last one. And I am a dangerous man. Now I can see that you are a sannyasin - your yellow robe, your shaved head. I feel a strange compassion for you I have never felt, so I will give you one chance. You can go back and I will wait for somebody else, but if you insist, if you even take a single step ahead, I am going to kill you."

Buddha said, "Do you know me? If that is your vow, then this is my vow: I never go back. You kill me! I never look back."

The man took out his sword, but his hand was trembling.

Buddha said, "What is the matter? Is this a way? Are you a swordsman? Your hand is trembling!

Stop your hand from trembling! This is not right - this shows weakness. One should be strong enough. And I am surprised and I am wondering how you could kill so many people."

Angulimal said, "This is for the first time. My heart is beating faster, my breathing is no more rhythmic, my hand is trembling. You must be doing something! You seem to be a magician!"

Buddha said, "That is true - I am also trying my way, I am trying to kill you! But I don't kill physically, I kill psychologically. But you finish your job, don't bother about my work. I will go on doing my work, you do your job. But before you hit my body, one thing you have to do for me - this is my last wish of a dying man. Can you cut few leaves of the tree?"

Those leaves were just hanging on top of them. Angulimal cut a small branch and gave it to Buddha.

Buddha said, "Good, half is done. Now do the other half - join this branch back again and then kill me."

Angulimal said, "You must be mad! How can I join it back?"

Buddha said, "But cutting a branch even a child can do. The real thing is joining it. Destruction is very easy, creation is the real thing. Are you a man or a child?"

Angulimal bowed down his head, ashamed. Buddha said, "If you can understand that much, then there is no problem, I would love to be murdered by you - you kill me.

Angulimal threw down his sword, fell into Buddha's feet and he said, "You have killed me before I could kill you. You are right - destruction can be done by anybody. Now teach me how to be creative."

It has always been a great question mark in Buddhist scriptures how such a murderous man was so easily transformed by Buddha. And it has happened many times that great scholars came, argued with him, and were not convinced, left unconvinced. Great kings came to him just to pay respect, and hoping that his blessing will be enough, but not ready to meditate or to become sannyasins or to renounce - just to receive the blessing. And businessmen came to him and they did much as far as money was concerned, but they remained uninvolved. They donated big lands and gardens to Buddha and for his monasteries, but they remained uninvolved. Those big lands were nothing for them, but they never gave an inch of their consciousness to him.

Remember it: knowledgeable people, calculative people, businesslike people, remain untouched by the Buddhas - they gather such a thick skin around themselves.

A Jewish thief comes to the cashier of the movie-house, and pointing a gun at the lady says, "The movie is terrible! Give me my money back!"

"This is not necessary, sir," she says. "Please put down your gun and I will give you your money."

"No, lady," says the Jew. "The movie is too terrible. Give me everybody's money back!"

Shih-kung was accidentally passing by the cottage where Ma Tzu lived. Ma Tzu came out. The Master immediately recognizes the possibility, the potentiality. He came out of his cottage and greeted him. The Master is always in a state of welcome, particularly for those who are ready.

Ma Tzu's disciples must have thought it strange. He never used to come to greet the kings. They had known him. When kings will come he will not even stand up to greet them. Rich people will come and he will not show any special concern; he will take them as common people. Going out of the cottage to receive a hunter was strange, but the ways of the Masters are always strange.

SHIH-KUNG ASKED, "DID YOU SEE SOME DEER PASS BY YOUR DOOR?"

"WHO ARE YOU?" ASKED THE MASTER.

"I AM A HUNTER."

"HOW MANY CAN YOU SHOOT DOWN WITH YOUR ARROW?"

"ONE WITH ONE ARROW." "THEN YOU ARE NO HUNTER," DECLARED MA TZU.

"HOW MANY CAN YOU SHOOT WITH ONE ARROW?" ASKED THE HUNTER IN HIS TURN.

The Master knows what language to speak to a certain kind of disciple; the disciple can understand only a certain language. Jesus said to Andreas, "How long you are going to go on catching fish? I will teach you how to catch men." Now that is speaking the language of a fisherman. Ma Tzu said:

"HOW MANY CAN YOU SHOOT DOWN WITH YOUR ARROW?"

"ONE WITH ONE ARROW."

"THEN YOU ARE NO HUNTER."

"HOW MANY CAN YOU SHOOT WITH ONE ARROW?" ASKED THE HUNTER IN HIS TURN.

Naturally he became interested, that this man is thought to be a great Buddhist monk. He must have heard about him. He was well-known, one of the greatest Buddhists ever. "Is he also a hunter?"

"THE ENTIRE FLOCK, WITH ONE ARROW."

MA TZU SAID, "THE ENTIRE FLOCK, WITH ONE ARROW."

"THEY ARE LIVING CREATURES, WHY SHOULD YOU DESTROY THE WHOLE FLOCK AT ONE SHOOTING?"

Even the hunter felt that this is too much. The Master can create a situation to emphasize a certain fact. The hunter can understand only his language. He is speaking his language, and he is exaggerating. He is saying, "I can kill the entire flock with one arrow." Even the hunter is shocked; he has forgotten that he is a hunter. It was a strategy, a device.

"THEY ARE LIVING CREATURES," THE HUNTER SAID. "THIS IS NOT GOOD, THIS IS NOT HUMAN... WHY SHOULD YOU DESTROY THE WHOLE FLOCK AT ONE SHOOTING?"

That's what Ma Tzu wanted him to be remembered - that they are living creatures. Rather than telling him that "They are living creatures, you should not kill them..." That would have been not right; he had heard that many times and he hated the Buddhist monks because of that. The Master goes in a roundabout way, indirect: he plays the role of the hunter himself - he puts the hunter in the role of the monk. He lets him say what he would have said, in fact. He makes him aware of the fact that they are living creatures.

And remember this: only a Master can do it, a teacher cannot do it. A teacher will simply say that "This is not right, to kill living creatures. This is destruction, this is violence. You will suffer for your karma. This is evil that you are doing." And that would not have helped at all because he had heard all those arguments; he would have argued himself against them. He must have argued with many.

And people can always find arguments; argument is easy.

The Master tries to create a situation in which you become aware of a certain fact. Rather than being told, it is better to provoke certain awareness in you. Now the hunter is caught unawares. He does not know that with a single arrow he has been killed.

"IF YOU KNOW THAT MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU SHOOT YOURSELF?" SAID MA TZU.

IT WILL LOOK VERY STRANGE, SO suddenly this statement - looks out of place. It is not. The Master under stands the inner working of consciousness. He is not talking to his mind, he is talking to his consciousness. He can see clearly what is happening in his being: he is becoming aware that what he has been doing was wrong. And the Master has not said that it was wrong. When somebody else says to you that it is wrong, your ego feels offended; you start arguing, you start defending. You become more defensive, argumentative. You start rationalizing. And everything can be rationalized and everything can be argumented for and everything can be defended. But the Master has played a beautiful game.

And that is the beauty of the work of a Master. He has managed already; something has already happened. What the hunter has never known before... although he must have felt, it must have remained unconscious. Deep inside he must have felt that what he is doing is not right; everybody feels it. Nobody is so unconscious either. You always know whenever you are doing wrong. If somebody else says it is wrong you will try to defend, and the person who has said that it is wrong has not helped you - in fact he has helped your wrong. You will insist, you will go on doing it. You

will do it more on purpose now, just to show the other person that you don't care about such stupid things. You will prove your ego and you will repress your own experience.

Conscience is created by others and that's why everybody goes on doing things against conscience.

St. Augustine says: "I go on doing things that I should not and I never do things that I should." He prays to God: "Help me, because it seems impossible for me to get out of this strange pattern - I go on doing things that I should not."

Everybody goes on doing things that he should not, for the simple reason because whenever others say to you, "Don't do it," there comes a deep desire to assert and to say, "I will show, I will do it."

Only once in my life my father punished me, only once, and then he understood that with me punishment is not going to work. I used to grow long hairs when I was a child, so long that people used to think that I am a girl. And in my father's small shop farmers and peasants will come, villagers will come and they will ask, "Whose daughter is this?" And that was always embarrassing for my father to tell them again and again that "He is a boy, not a girl." But it was a continuous thing, and I was always there sitting.

One day he told me, "You have to cut your hairs. It is becoming embarrassing to me to tell everybody that you are a boy and not a girl."

I said, "What is wrong in being a girl? You need not bother about it. Let them think that I am a girl!

You can also say that 'He is a girl.' What is wrong in being a girl?"

He said, "You don't understand. And when they come to know that you are a boy, they all tell to me that 'Tell him to cut his hairs. Why he keeps hairs like a girl?'"

I said, "I am not going to cut my hairs. If anybody says to me 'Cut the hairs' I will never cut."

That was the only time he became angry and slapped me. I didn't say anything, I simply went to the hair-cutters and told them to shave my head completely.

They were puzzled because in those parts a boy's head is shaved completely only when his father dies. They said, "What are you asking?"

I said, "You do it!"

They asked, "Has your father died?"

I said, "Yes!" So they did it.

When I came back and my father saw what I had done he said, "What have you done?"

I said, "Either I have to have long hair or I don't want any at all."

He said, "But now you will create more trouble for me!"

I said, "That is your business. You created."

And then the people started asking, "What has happened to the boy's father? Is his father dead?"

And he will say, "I am his father." And he will tell me, "You go somewhere else. Why go on sitting here?"

I said, "I WILL sit here!"

He told me that "I will never punish you. I have understood that this way is not going to work with you." And he kept his word. In his whole life he never punished me for anything, whatsoever I did. In fact he understood that it was better not to say anything to me, because if you say, "Don't do it," I am going to do it; then it was absolutely certain. I may do it even more, or I may go even to the extreme.

That's how the growing ego of the child works. That's the only way for the ego to grow: by saying no, by doing what is prohibited. If the child goes on saying yes, yes, to everything, to the parents, he will never have any ego, but then he would have missed something tremendously significant. He will not have any ego and he will never know what is egolessness. That is the problem: without having an ego you will never understand the beauty of egolessness. First the ego has to be created, first the ego has to be strengthened, and when the ego is mature it has to be dropped. Then the explosion!

Conscience goes on saying you what you should do and what you should not. If you are courageous enough you will exactly do what has been told not to do. And that is what should be done by every child. If you are not courageous, if you are a coward, you will turn into a hypocrite. And the hypocrite will never know what is ego and he will never know what is egolessness either. He will miss from the ultimate bliss of life, from the ultimate explosion of ecstasy.

The hypocrite is a loser, and the conscience creates almost always hypocrites, because it is difficult to fight every day, every moment with everybody - parents, teachers, society, priest. You have to go on fighting. Unless you are a fighter you will not have ego enough to drop; your ego will be so tiny, not worth dropping.

THE MASTER SAID, "IF YOU KNOW THAT MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU SHOOT YOURSELF?"

Now it is not just an ordinary dialogue, it is taking something mysterious into it. It is becoming mysterious, it is becoming a communion. There is a gap. The hunter has become aware that it is wrong to kill living animals; whether you kill many or one is only a question of quantity. But wrong is wrong; more or less does not matter. And how many animals he has killed in his life?

Seeing that he has become aware of all the wrongs that he has done, of all destructiveness, of all violence... his whole life has been nothing but that of violence, of killing Every day he has been killing animals; he may have killed thousands of animals in his whole life. Seeing that now he has become aware. now something is possible:

THE MASTER SAYS, "IF YOU KNOW THAT MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU SHOOT YOURSELF?"

"Is it not time that you should shoot yourself rather that shooting animals?" And Shih-kung understood, felt ashamed. Yes, that's right, he has done enough wrong already. He is a murderer. It is better to shoot oneself.

HE SAID, "AS TO SHOOTING MYSELF, I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PROCEED."

He is asking, "Can you teach me?' He is asking, "Can you help me how to proceed?"

"THIS FELLOW," EXCLAIMED MA TZU, ALL OF A SUDDEN, "HAS PUT A STOP TODAY TO ALL HIS PAST IGNORANCE AND EVIL PASSIONS!"

What has happened? Something incredible, something unbelievable. Because Shih-kung said, "I don't know how to shoot myself. I would like - I understand your point. I have done enough wrong, I am not worth living a single moment more." If this understanding has come, then all past ignorance is finished and all evil passions are gone.

In a single blow, with a single arrow, the Master has killed the whole flock - of all evil passions, of ignorance, of all his rationalizations, of all his arguments, of all his hatred for the Buddhist monks.

THEREUPON, SHIH-KUNG THE HUNTER BROKE HIS BOW AND ARROWS AND BECAME MA TZU'S PUPIL.

This is not a calculated step, this is not business-like.

THEREUPON, SHIH-KUNG THE HUNTER BROKE HIS BOW AND ARROWS...

He finished. When the Master declared:

"THIS FELLOW HAS PUT A STOP TODAY TO ALL HIS PAST IGNORANCE AND EVIL PASSIONS!"

SHIH-KUNG... BROKE HIS BOW AND ARROWS AND BECAME MA TZU'S PUPIL.

Immediately, instantly, not a single question. This used to happen in the past very easily. This happens today too hut more rarely. This has happened here to many people, but it is becoming rarer, every day rarer.

WHEN HE BECAME A ZEN MASTER HIMSELF, HE HAD A BOW AND AN ARROW READY TO SHOOT, WITH WHICH HIS MONKS WERE THREATENED WHEN THEY APPROACHED HIM WITH A QUESTION.

BECAUSE HE WAS A HUNTER - he was not a knowledgeable person, but he had become enlightened - he was not able to philosophize or to answer questions. He had known only one answer. His Master has changed him by a single blow. His Master had finished all his questions with a single arrow; he had killed the whole flock. He has proved what he has said. He was a real hunter.

He has said, "I can kill the entire flock with one arrow." And to Shih-kung he said, "Then you are no hunter, if you can only kill one animal with one arrow. What kind of hunting is that? You are not a master of it, you are just an amateur. Don't brag that you are a hunter - this is nothing. If you want to learn hunting, I will teach you what hunting is. But real hunting begins by shooting yourself, by killing the ego." So he knew only one answer to all questions, so whatsoever questions his disciples will bring he will threaten them with the arrow and the bow.

SAN-PING WAS ONCE SO TREATED.

SHIH-KUNG EXCLAIMED...

San-Ping must have asked some question.

SHIH-KUNG EXCLAIMED, "LOOK OUT FOR THE ARROW!"

"If you ask a question I know only one answer: Look for the arrow! I will kill you immediately, here and now. That's what my Master did and that's what I know. That's all that I know - and that's enough, because that has transformed me and that will transform you. I am not going to bother about your stupid questions."

PING OPENED HIS CHEST AND SAID, "THIS IS THE ARROW THAT KILLS; WHERE IS THE ONE THAT RESUSCITATES?"

This was for the first time somebody has opened his chest. Again, another encounter of the same quality that has happened thirty years before between Shih-kung and Ma Tzu. The same encounter after thirty years is happening again between Shih-kung and San-ping. PING OPENED HIS CHEST AND SAID, "Okay, so you kill. If that is the answer then I am ready to accept the answer. Only make one thing clear before you kill me: THIS IS THE ARROW THAT KILLS; WHERE IS THE ARROW THAT resurrects?"

KUNG STRUCK THREE TIMES ON THE BOWSTRING. PING BOWED. KUNG SAID, "I HAVE BEEN USING ONE BOW AND TWO ARROWS FOR THE PAST THIRTY YEARS, AND TODAY I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN SHOOTING DOWN ONLY HALF OF A WISE MAN."

NOW this is a very, tremendously pregnant statement; you will have to go deep into it. First, according to Zen, according to the psychology of the Buddhas, the mind has three aspects. That's why Kung struck three times on the bowstring; that is symbolic of three aspects of the mind.

Kung said, "This death happens in three steps. The first aspect is what we know as mind, reason, thinking. The second aspect is what we know as the heart, feeling, emotions. The first aspect is masculine, the second aspect is feminine. The first aspect is extrovert and active and aggressive, and the second aspect is inactive, introvert and receptive. The first aspect has created science, logic, philosophy, theology, et cetera. The second aspect has created all arts, poetry, music, dance, literature, painting, et cetera.

And the third aspect is called the self: transcending both active and inactive, extrovert and introvert; transcending the duality, just becoming aware of both. The Hindu philosophy calls it the ATMA, the supreme self, and Hinduism stops here. Jainism also stops here, all other religions also stop here.

According to Zen, to stop here is to be only half wise.

Buddha says there is something still left; that is the fourth, which is not an aspect of the mind. Even the third, the self, is the subtlest ego; it is the most subtle, but it is ego. The mind is still there, very silent, neither active nor inactive, very still, in a dormant state, neither masculine nor feminine, in a seed form, but it is still there. It can be reactivated by any situation; it has not died.

Patanjali calls this state sabeej samadhi - samadhi with seed. And the fourth he calls nirbeej samadhi - seedless samadhi. The fourth is called by all the Buddhas simply the fourth, turiya;

no name is given, just the number, the fourth. The fourth means the transcendence of the transcendence, going beyond the beyond. Buddha calls it anatta - no-self.

It is only Gautam the Buddha who touched the highest point. That's why I like to call it the psychology of the Buddhas. I will not call it the psychology of the Jains because they stop at the self, and I will not call it the psychology of Vedanta because they also stop at the self They have come very close, they have come almost, but almost is still a little far away... just one step more. They are still clinging to the idea of the self These three are the death part. The Master kills all these three. And the fourth is resurrection. The three are the crucifixion and the fourth is the resurrection.

PING OPENED HIS CHEST AND SAID, "THIS IS THE ARROW THAT KILLS; WHERE IS THE ONE THAT RESUSCITATES?

WHERE IS THE ONE THAT GIVES A REBIRTH?"

KUNG STRUCK THREE TIMES ON THE BOWSTRING. PING BOWED.

Just after the three he bowed. That's why Shih-kung said he was only half a wise man. He should have waited just a little more for the fourth.

KUNG SAID, "I HAVE BEEN USING ONE BOW AND TWO ARROWS..."

One bow means the self and two arrows means the mind and the heart, reason and emotion, thinking and feeling, masculinel-feminine, yang-yin, Shiva-Shakti - the whole duality, the world of duality, those two: the positive and the negative, the day and night, the summer and winter, life and death. Whatsoever you want, wherever you find duality, that means the two arrows. And when you go beyond the duality that means the bow, the third, the self.

He should have waited just a little. Shih-kung was going to do that - he did it.

SHIH-KUNG BROKE HIS BOW AND ARROWS ONCE MORE...

He should have waited for this. If he had waited for this and THEN bowed down he would have been a fully enlightened man immediately. He stopped at the third - where Vedanta stops, Jainism stops, Christianity, Islam, every path stops, because it seems one has arrived. It is a beautiful state, tremendously beautiful state. One feels there cannot be anything more, but there is.

Remember, unless you disappear totally, not even a trace of you is left, not even the spiritual idea of being is left - when you have arrived to non-being, to absolute nothingness, to the void, to pure space - go on. Only with the fourth you will know, only with the fourth the truth is revealed, God is known, Tao is realized.

SHIH-KUNG BROKE HIS BOW AND ARROWS ONCE MORE, AND NEVER USED THEM AGAIN.

He has found his successor. He was waiting for the successor. The day he has found himself he had broken his bow and arrows; now he has found somebody who can carry his flame onwards. He

has broken his bow and arrow again. Something tremendously great has happened, but one step more will be needed.

San-ping has done great work in a single instant, has missed just by one step. You have to remember that.

A man is fully enlightened only when he disappears completely, when there is nothing left inside, when he is just like a hollow bamboo and becomes a flute and the whole starts singing through him.

When the song is no more his, then the song is divine.