Not looking, it becomes clear

Maneesha, speaking about Zen is perhaps the most difficult thing in the world, because it is saying something about something which is absolutely inexpressible. But every master has come to this point, to decide whether to say anything or to remain silent. Even Gautam Buddha, when he became enlightened, did not speak a single word for seven days, because he could not find a way to say what he had found.

Words don't exist for that experience. And whatever you say about it immediately becomes wrong.

The moment the inner experience enters into outer expression, something goes dead. The living dance is no more there; the throbbing pulse is no more there.

Seven days after his enlightenment, Gautam Buddha was persuaded to speak. He had argued very hard on the point. He said, "For one thing, what I have found cannot be said. I can at the most indicate, just like a finger pointing to the moon; but it is not saying anything about the moon. The danger is that unconscious people may start clinging to the finger, rather than looking at the moon; that has happened in almost all religions. They are holding their scriptures, their holy scriptures.

They are only fingers pointing to the moon - where is the moon? Everybody is looking into his holy scripture.

"Secondly," Gautam Buddha said. "Even if I manage somehow to figure out a way to express the inexpressible, there is almost a ninety-nine percent guarantee that it will be misunderstood.

"And a third point," he said. "I am willing even to speak for that one percent of the intelligentsia - people of the heart, people who are open, not closed. But there is no certainty or guarantee that they will not misinterpret me. And once I have said something, I am no more master of it. I am master of it only while I am silent."

His arguments are valid. And the people who were persuading him felt that what he was saying was right, but somehow he had to be convinced to speak. It is very rare that a man comes to this highest peak of consciousness, and if he remains silent humanity will not be enriched by him. He could shower the whole world with his blessings; he could bring the whole world into a deep silence where understanding blossoms. No opportunity can be lost, and a buddha is a great opportunity for the transformation of the whole world.

So they insisted, "Your arguments are all right, we agree with you. But one thing we want to say to you is that if, after millions of people, a single person reaches to such heights, such depths ...

even if he is misunderstood, misinterpreted, it does not matter. At least one percent, probably, will understand him - and that is a big percentage as far as humanity is concerned. You cannot deny that one percent the great opportunity that has arisen in you. There may be a few people just on the verge of awakening - a little push and they may be on the same height, as awake as you are.

And even if you go on missing the target, what is the harm? People were unconscious, they will remain unconscious. But you have to be compassionate, at least for the one percent that you have accepted."

Out of his compassion, Buddha agreed. And as he had said, it happened. Very few people understood him, but those who understood him became transformed beings; they went through a metamorphosis. A new kind of light started shining through their being; a new aura of energy, like a cool breeze, followed them. But millions misunderstood, misinterpreted, and you can see the result. After Gautam Buddha's death, there was not a single buddha in the land where he was born, because the masses, with their ignorance, confusion and condemnation, distorted everything.

Thirty-two schools arose after Gautam Buddha's death, interpreting things in their own ways and fighting amongst themselves. And the old Indian priesthood - the Brahmins - did not miss the chance.

The priest is always afraid of the awakened one, because he is the one who can destroy his whole profession. Jesus was not crucified by ordinary people; he was crucified by the very scholarly rabbis, and the high priests of the temple of the Jews in Jerusalem - they insisted that he should be crucified.

Gautam Buddha was opposed by the priests of India; the reason was the same. The priest is exploiting people in the name of God, of which he knows nothing; in the name of the spiritual, of which he has no idea. But whenever a person comes, radiant with the experience, the priest becomes afraid. It is not a question of argument; you cannot argue with a buddha - his very presence is convincing. He has not to utter even a word. If he utters some words, it is just to lead you towards wordlessness. He speaks so that you can become silent. His speaking is only a device.

These anecdotes are tremendously beautiful, and very symbolic of how masters function in different ways, with different disciples. Sometimes they succeed, but even if they only succeed in awakening one human being, it is more than one can expect. The very experience is so valuable, so obvious, and so inner, that the ordinary humanity is not interested in it. They are involved in mediocre things, in things which ultimately mean nothing. The only thing that carries an ultimate meaning is the experience of your innermost being.

These anecdotes are all concerned with the interiority of humanity. You will not find logic in them, but you will find love. You will not find all the things that people in the world desire and long for, but you will find something superior: a great blissfulness, a peace that passeth understanding, a blessedness that becomes your very breathing, your very heartbeat. It all happens through meditation. Zen is another name of meditation.

ONE DAY, WHEN MASTER KEIZAN GOT UP IN THE HALL TO SPEAK, A MONK CALLED GAZAN CAME FORWARD FROM THE ASSEMBLY AND ASKED, "WHY IS IT HARD TO SPEAK OF THE PLACE WHERE NOT A BREATH ENTERS?"

He is asking, "Why is it hard to enter into the space of your own, where not even your own breath can enter?" Your consciousness does not breathe. Its life is not dependent on breathing or on your heartbeat - it is life itself. It is not dependent on any causes. That is its freedom and its eternity.

The question was perfectly right, but such questions cannot be answered in the easy way.

KEIZAN SAID, "EVEN SPEAKING OF IT DOES NOT SAY IT. I can speak about it, but I have to remind you that nothing is said about it."

It remains always beyond words. In a certain fundamental sense, the moment the word leaves your lips, the meaning is left behind. On your ears fall words which have forgotten to carry any significance. They are empty envelopes; of course they are addressed to you, but inside there is nothing.

KEIZAN SAID, "EVEN SPEAKING OF IT DOES NOT SAY IT." GAZAN HAD A FLASH OF INSIGHT, BUT AS HE WAS ABOUT TO OPEN HIS MOUTH, KEIZAN SAID, "WRONG!"

The master can see that the disciple has touched the inner space, because it is such a revolution in being that you cannot keep it hidden - it radiates. But out of old habit, Gazan was going to say something, and the master shouted at him, "Wrong! Whatever you say, it won't do. You have it, but don't say it. You are fortunate that you have got it, but don't allow it to be distorted. And you are too fresh, too young in the inner world. Just let things settle."

SCOLDED, GAZAN WITHDREW. AFTER THIS, HIS SPIRIT OF DETERMINATION SOARED FAR BEYOND THAT OF ORDINARY PEOPLE.

He had seen a glimpse, and he had also seen that the master did not want him to say a single word unless the whole truth had penetrated his being, unless he was soaked with it like a rain cloud, and was ready to shower. Before that, he should keep quiet and not be in a hurry.

He started meditating, silently sitting, waiting for the moment when the small glimpse would become the great matter of realization.

ONE NIGHT, AS KEIZAN WAS ENJOYING THE MOON ALONG WITH GAZAN, HE SAID, "DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE TWO MOONS?"

GAZAN SAID, "NO."

This is something immensely important. What he had seen on that day was just a reflection of the moon, and the reflection of the moon is a reflection, but it is not the moon.

Enjoying the full moon, the master asked Gazan, "DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE TWO MOONS?"

GAZAN SAID, "NO."

KEIZAN SAID, "IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT THERE ARE TWO MOONS, YOU ARE NOT A SEEDLING OF THE 'To' SUCCESSION."

You have to understand it - in a silent space you can get a reflection of the reality. If your silence is deeper and without any ripples, the full moon will be reflected in it, but don't be deceived by the reflection. That reflection should indicate towards the moon. That reflection in the lake of your consciousness is simply a milestone on the eternal journey to the moon itself.

There come many points in the seeker's life when he thinks he has arrived. It is the greatest function of the master to hit the disciple at those points, and push him ahead, because there is much more ahead.

I have told you a Sufi story: a woodcutter, very old and poor and alone, used to come to the forest where a mystic had made his small hut under a vast, spreading tree. The woodcutter passed every day, but he could manage only one day's livelihood from his wood. He was old, and it was difficult to carry it.

But the story belongs to a very different world and climate. Although he had nothing to do with the mystic - whether the mystic was sitting there with closed eyes, or was inside the hut, or had gone out somewhere - he used to touch the steps leading to his hut, every day coming and going.

One day the mystic said, "You are so old, and now it is not the right kind of work for you. Why don't you go a little ahead?"

The poor man said, "A little ahead? What will that do for me?"

The mystic said, "Just a little ahead, there is a mine of copper. If you carry copper for a day, it will give you at least seven days' provisions, instead of the one day that you are getting now."

The man was immensely impressed, and he went. Later he thanked the master, "I would never have gone ahead if you had not said it. And, my God, I wasted my whole life in cutting wood, and the copper was just nearby."

The master laughed and said, "Don't stop; just go on a little more."

He said, "For what?"

The master said, "Just a little farther, there is a silver mine."

And so the story goes .... Every time the master would say, "No, go a little farther and you will find something even more valuable."

The day he found diamonds, he came to the master, touched his feet, and said, "I am puzzled, because you know all the secrets of this forest, but you never go anywhere."

The master said, "I have gone a little farther ahead. To me, going to the diamonds will be going backwards."

An instantaneous illumination happened to the poor woodcutter. He threw down all his diamonds and said, "I am no more concerned with diamonds. If there is something beyond, and you know it, then introduce me to the beyond, because life is short and one never knows whether one will see the sun again tomorrow. I am not going to leave this door until you introduce me to the beyond."

The master said, "All this time I was hoping that one day you would ask - and that day has come.

Throwing away all the valuable diamonds has already cleaned your mind of clinging. You are ready to have a taste of something that is not material."

ONE NIGHT, AS KEIZAN WAS ENJOYING THE MOON ALONG WITH GAZAN, HE SAID, "DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE TWO MOONS?"

GAZAN SAID, "NO."

KEIZAN SAID, "IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT THERE ARE TWO MOONS, YOU ARE NOT A SEEDLING - you are not the seed of a buddha and you cannot succeed me. I have been hoping that you are a potential buddha, as everyone is. And you have come here, not to leave this place until you become a buddha yourself."

AT THIS, GAZAN INCREASED HIS DETERMINATION AND SAT CROSS LEGGED LIKE AN IRON POLE FOR YEARS.

ONE DAY, AS KEIZAN PASSED THROUGH THE HALL, HE SAID, QUOTING SEKITO, "SOMETIMES IT IS RIGHT TO HAVE HIM RAISE HIS EYEBROWS AND BLINK HIS EYES; SOMETIMES IT IS RIGHT NOT TO HAVE HIM RAISE HIS EYEBROWS AND BLINK HIS EYES."

AT THESE WORDS, GAZAN WAS GREATLY ENLIGHTENED. THEN WITH FULL CEREMONY, HE EXPRESSED HIS UNDERSTANDING. KEIZAN AGREED WITH HIM.

Now, this is a little bit difficult. Why, at a certain moment ...? Anybody can read Sekito's statement.

That does not mean that by reading it you will become enlightened. There is nothing much in it. He is simply saying that there is nothing to be worried about; sometimes one is asleep and sometimes one is awake. Even buddhahood should not become a concern; it should be a spontaneity. It will come in its own time, as spring comes with thousands of flowers.

All that you need is to learn waiting, and meditation is another name for a silent, patient waiting for the right moment. In that right moment, anything - which may be absurd to outsiders, which may make no sense as far as reason and logic are concerned ....

Lao Tzu was sitting under a tree when an old leaf fell, just wavering; and he watched the leaf falling down from the tree, and he became enlightened. Now you can sit under any tree and you can watch thousands of leaves dropping, and you will come back home as much an idiot as you were before, because that falling of the leaf has nothing to do with enlightenment. Lao Tzu was meditating under that tree, and his meditation was ready - any slight opportunity for opening the inner lotus, and the immense experience will explode.

What happened with this leaf? The leaf was falling with such grace and such beauty, although it was dead. Soon it would disappear into the earth, from where it had come. Instantly, a tremendous awareness, like lightning, flashed into Lao Tzu's mind, that our consciousness has also come from a source, just as this leaf has come; it has manifested, and is going again into unmanifestation. Our consciousness has come from the eternal source; one day it will move again to its source. There is no need to search outside - everything that is of any significance is inside.

It is said that for days he remained sitting with closed eyes. His disciples used to laugh about him, "Nobody has ever heard that anybody became enlightened by seeing a falling leaf." But if you look into the history of enlightenment, there are strange situations ....

About Mahavira it is said that he became enlightened in a posture that, in India, is well known. It is called the cow-milking posture - just as if somebody sits with a pot and milks the cow. I don't know what Mahavira was doing, whose cow he was milking; the scriptures say nothing. But he became enlightened in this posture. That does not mean that you should go and purchase a cow. Each enlightened human being has become enlightened in his own unique way.

When you become enlightened, only the master can recognize it. It needs the same experience.

Others are almost blind; they have never seen that light. They may believe, but they cannot recognize. One thing is certain: when anybody becomes enlightened, immediately a great, ceremonious lifestyle arises. He becomes festive, he becomes creative, he becomes a song, a dance. His life is no more of misery, suffering. In fact, even if the enlightened person tries, just to have a taste of what misery is, he is bound to fail.

I have tried my best - in the middle of the night, sitting in my bed - "Let us have a little misery. The whole world is having it; there must be something great in it." I have tried, this way and that way; on this side and on that side - nothing happens! I have laughed, in my aloneness, in the depths of night, "My God - what poverty! Neither can I suffer, nor can I be miserable - no more life at all!

Everybody is having a great life; I am the poorest man." But failing many times I dropped the idea. If I had known before, I would not have become enlightened. So I have warned you. Don't harass me afterwards, don't ask me afterwards, "Why did you make me enlightened?" Because you will lose all misery, all suffering, all great tragedies.

One of the mystic women, Meera, has a beautiful song, in which she says, "If I had known before, I would have gone from house to house to tell people not to reach these heights. These heights are dangerous - they leave you utterly naked!"

But in this song she is dancing and showing that she is one of the most blissful women in the world.

She is just joking to say that if she had known before she would have gone from house to house to tell people not to become enlightened.

I agree with her. I also knew nothing about it before it happened. That's why I am calling it a diamond thunderbolt. You don't know when the lightning will come and hit your heart and transform you.

If you are too much in love with misery, please never meditate; because I have suffered - so many things have simply disappeared! There is just a pure space, so silent and so sacred. But everything else is gone. If you are ready to lose your misery, and your suffering, and your tragedies, then meditate. Otherwise, you will be angry with me - I am warning you.

A Zen poem runs:

TO DISPLAY AT LAST MATURITY OF SPIRIT.

To the man of enlightenment, everybody else is simply retarded; they have not grown up. Everybody grows old, but that does not mean that everybody grows up. Growing old is a different direction, horizontal; from the cradle to the graveyard - direct! You don't have to ask anybody where the graveyard is, you will get there. And everybody else is so ready. The moment you stop breathing, nobody bothers to wait; they immediately take you to the graveyard.

But to grow up is a totally different dimension: it is vertical. It has nothing to do with age. It has nothing to do with time. It has something to do with maturity, integrity, a centeredness.

Chora's haiku reads:

MOON GAZING:

LOOKING AT IT, IT CLOUDS OVER; NOT LOOKING, IT BECOMES CLEAR.

Zen has a very poetic way of expressing the inexpressible. Now Chora is saying that if you look at it, clouds are going to hide the moon, because the very desire to look at it creates clouds. Whenever you are full of desires, you are surrounded by clouds. And the moment you don't want anything - even if you don't want to open your eyes - all clouds disappear, and the moon shines in an empty and silent sky.

Another Zen poet:

CLOUDS COME FROM TIME TO TIME - AND BRING TO MEN A CHANCE TO REST FROM LOOKING AT THE MOON.

In the world of Zen, there are a few symbols which are specially used by poets, painters, mystics.

You will come across bamboos again and again, because the bamboos have a quality of Zen: they are hollow inside. Inside there is nothing, and because of this nothingness, they can become flutes.

Because of this inner hollowness, songs can be born out of them. Every bamboo has the capacity to become a flute. For these strange reasons, certain things have become very much symbolic of Zen: the moon, because it reflects in the lake, in the ocean, in the river. There is one moon and millions of reflections, one consciousness and millions of manifestations.

So when you read Zen, remember, its symbols do not have ordinary dictionary meanings; they have a special quality to them. Clouds are used; you will come across many references to them. This whole series is devoted to the clouds, because the cloud is the symbol, in Zen, of freedom: no roots, nothing to tie it down, every direction available to move, with no map and no guide - but with what dignity, and with what joy! The cloud goes on moving from east to west, from west to east. The whole sky is its territory; it knows no boundaries.

For certain reasons, Zen has picked up a few symbols. You have to understand them in the Zen way.

Maneesha has asked:

Just awakening to your nothingness. This is the difficulty: maturity will never give you the idea of nothingness. But unless you touch your inner space, which is nothingness as silent and empty as the sky ... it is your inner sky. Once you settle down in your inner sky, you have found a home and a great maturity arises in your actions, in your behavior. Then whatever you do has grace in it. Then whatever you do is a poetry in itself. You live poetry; your walking becomes dancing, your silence becomes music.

By maturity is meant that you have come home. You are no more a child who has to grow - you have grown up. You have touched the height of your potential. For the first time, in a strange sense you are not, and you are. You are not in your old ideas, imaginations, in your old comprehension of yourself. All that has gone down the drain. Now something new arises in you, absolutely new and virgin, which transforms your whole life into joy. You have become a stranger to the miserable world.

You don't create misery for yourself or for anybody else. You live your life in total freedom, without any consideration for what others will say.

The people who are always considering others and their opinions, are immature. They are dependent on the opinions of others; they can't do anything authentically, honestly. They can't say what they want to say, they say what others want to hear.

Your politicians say the things that you want to hear. They give you the promises you want. They know perfectly well that they cannot fulfill these promises, neither is there any intent to fulfill them.

But if they say exactly, truthfully, what the situation is, and make it clear to you that many of the things you are asking for are impossible, that they cannot be done, they will be thrown out of power.

You will not choose a politician who is honest.

It is a very strange world. It is almost an insane asylum. If, in this insane asylum, you become alert and aware of your being, you are blessed.

Before we enter into the insane world, just to have a look at what is happening outside ....

Old Priest Pooper dies, and leaves only unpaid bills behind. After the doctors, the hospital, and all the others are settled, there is no money left to bury the old guy. So Grandma Nutcan decides she will go around the town and ask those who knew the priest to help provide a decent burial. She finds it is not an easy task, but after many long hours of devoted work, her collection is only one dollar short for the funeral.

She looks around, but it seems she has asked everyone. Suddenly she spies a stranger sitting at the bus stop. Amazingly, it turns out to be Swami Deva Coconut.

Grandma approaches him and says in a tired and worried voice, "Would you give me a dollar to bury a priest?"

Coconut jumps up, pulls out his wallet, and hands her some money. "Lady," he says, "here are five dollars. Go out and bury five of them!"

Complaining of the distance between campus buildings, Velma, the vet's daughter, writes home for money to buy a bicycle. But by the time the money arrives, she has changed her mind and has purchased a pet monkey instead.

After a few weeks, Velma discovers that the animal begins to lose all its hair. Hoping that her father might know a cure, Velma writes, "All the hair is falling off my monkey - what shall I do?"

Her father sends a quick telegram that says: "Sell the bicycle!"

Moe, Larry and Curly, three of Poland's top intellectuals, and their Jewish friends, Matzo, Bagel and Groucho, all take the train together from Warsaw to Geneva.

At the station in Warsaw, the Polacks purchase their three tickets, and then are surprised when they see the Jews only buy one ticket.

"Why did you guys only buy one ticket?" asks Moe the Polack.

"Just watch," says Matzo. "You might learn something."

They all board the train and get underway. Then, just before the ticket-taker comes, the three Jews take their one ticket and lock themselves in the bathroom. The ticket-taker punches the three Polack's tickets, then goes to the bathroom door. He knocks, and says, "Ticket, please." The bathroom door opens a little bit, and a hand gives out a ticket. The ticket-taker punches it, and goes on.

The Polacks watch this and are really impressed.

Later, returning to Warsaw, the three Polacks and the three Jews again board the train. This time, the Polacks have purchased one ticket, but they notice that the Jews have purchased none.

Then, just before the ticket-taker is about to come, the Polacks all dash into the bathroom and lock it.

Then Matzo, Bagel and Groucho go into the next bathroom, but before Groucho enters, he knocks on the door that the Polacks are in and says, "Ticket, please!"

Jimmy gets lost in the desert. He wanders around for two days, almost dying of thirst, when he comes to a nunnery. He knows the nuns won't let him in because he is a man, so he jumps over the wall. He finds the nearest bathroom and drinks to his heart's content. Then he decides to take a shower.

He has just taken off his clothes, when he hears two nuns approaching. They are coming into the bathroom, so he jumps, naked, behind the shower curtain.

When the nuns come in, one of them sees Jimmy's prick sticking out from behind the curtain. "What is that?" she says.

"I don't know," replies the other nun, and goes and gives it a pull. Thinking quickly, Jimmy throws out a bar of soap.

"Look!" cries the nun, "a soap machine!"

So the other nun pulls it and Jimmy throws out some more soap. Then the first nun pulls it again, but Jimmy has no more soap. So she pulls it again, and again, and again.

Suddenly she turns to the other nun and cries, "Look! Shampoo!"

Now, Nivedano, give us the beat.

(Drumbeat) (Gibberish) Nivedano ...

(Drumbeat) Be silent.

Close your eyes.

Feel the body completely frozen; no movement, so that the energy, your life force, can become centered in.

Deeper and deeper.

At the deepest point, you are the buddha.

This silence, this evening, is blessed; because so many of you have touched, for the first time, your own reality, your own eternity.

To make it more clear, Nivedano ...

(Drumbeat) Relax. Let go. Die.

Become absolutely centered within you.

Yes, this is the buddha we have been searching for.

This is the buddha all the centuries have been searching for.

Feel it deeply, drink it deeply.

Let this consciousness spread all over your being.

A day comes when it starts radiating all around you.

That is the day of celebration.

Nivedano ...

(Drumbeat) Come back, and for a few seconds just sit silently, collecting your experience.

It has to become every day deeper, more profound.

It has to become an undercurrent in your twenty-four hour life.

Waking or asleep, you are the buddha.

Okay, Maneesha?

Yes, Osho.

Can we celebrate seven thousand buddhas together?

Yes, Osho.