Before sunrise

Zarathustra cannot speak except in poetry. He is helpless. Prose is almost impossible for him, because there are heights and there are depths which are only available to poetry - prose is too mundane.

Poetry is not just a form, but a certain spirit, a certain beauty, a certain grace. Linguistically his statements may not be called poetry, but nobody can deny that they are the pure essence of what poetry is. Their very foundation, their very spirit, is poetic.

So please do not understand this prose the way prose is being understood. It has no logic in it but it has great aesthetic sensitivity. His words don't say what the dictionary words say about them.

His words are only wings, indications, but they are always indicative beyond themselves. They are always hinting towards much that they cannot contain.

In other words, Zarathustra has to be understood metaphorically, not literally. He is not a man of letters but a man of genuine experiences. These statements, BEFORE SUNRISE, are not only beautiful but contain great insight, and can be helpful to all those who do not want to remain confined to the mind but want to transcend it.

Transcendence of man and man's mind is Zarathustra's basic teaching.

O SKY ABOVE ME! O PURE, DEEP SKY! YOU ABYSS OF LIGHT! GAZING INTO YOU, I TREMBLE WITH DIVINE DESIRES. The sky symbolizes emptiness, but not in a negative sense...

emptiness which is full, over-full. The sky is the ancient word - what we now call "space."

Zarathustra's whole longing is for spaciousness: no boundaries to the human spirit, no limitations to the human flight. That's why he used to carry an eagle with himself, as a symbol of a longing to go beyond the stars. He is the first man who has longed so much; and unless you long so much you remain small. Your desires are very small - for money, for respectability, for a certain social status, for some political power.

That's the difference between desires and longings: longings are always of the sacred, desires are achievable. Longings are for the impossible; and unless you long for the impossible you cannot rise to your ultimate height, and you cannot penetrate to your ultimate depth either.

Zarathustra is very clear that the impossible should be the only challenge for human consciousness.

Less than that he will not be ready to accept as the goal. Anything that seems to be achievable is not worth achieving, anything that is possible has already lost its spiritual meaning.

Only the impossible can give you space enough to be your infinite self, to be your eternity.

The impossible for Zarathustra is equivalent to God. If you can understand his impossible then you will see how religions have degraded and spoiled a beautiful word, god.

God does not exist. And God is not achievable; God is just another name for the impossible. But you cannot be a superman if you don't have the longing for the impossible. The sky is the space without any limits. It is freedom from all fetters of the past, from all fetters that make you so mean, so cunning, so jealous.

Just the other day Anando brought a cartoon to show me - a beautiful cartoon, but the government of Tamil Nadu in Madras asked the cartoonist to apologize publicly. Obviously he refused, because he has not mentioned anybody's name. The cartoon was of two figures, with a small note underneath that the man who looks like a pickpocket is a minister and the man who looks like a dacoit, a thief, is the chief minister. Now, there was no need for anybody to be angry - and particularly in a democracy where you go on bragging about freedom of speech. He has not named anybody, and in India there are so many chief ministers, and so many ministers.

In fact, if anybody was to be really offended it was the pickpockets and the dacoits. But they seem to have some sense of humor. No pickpocket, no dacoit went to the court saying, "It is insulting to us."

But the chief minister of Tamil Nadu and the whole assembly unanimously voted to send the man to jail for one year because he has refused to make an apology. The man had already served three days in jail... but then there was great uproar all over the country, that this is absolutely absurd. He has not mentioned anybody's name, and if even a cartoon becomes so damaging to your respectability, then certainly the cartoon is saying something true about you. Whoever is offended has exposed himself, that the cartoon is about him; otherwise there was no need, there was no name on it.

Because the pressure from all over the country became greater and greater, they had to release the man. But such is the smallness of man. Even the people you think great leaders of men behave so stupidly.

Today there was another piece of information.... I have often been telling you that the royal families of Europe have committed a great crime for centuries by intermarrying. They have created more retarded people in the world than anybody else.

Forty-six years ago, two cousins of Queen Elizabeth and three distant cousins - five persons - were found to be insane. Silently they were put into an insane asylum, and the public was not made aware of it. And you will be surprised: when asked what happened to those two cousins - because they had suddenly disappeared - it was informed from the royal family sources that those two cousins were dead; and they were in a mad asylum. One has died just now, that's why the whole thing has become alive again - "We were thinking that she had died forty-six years ago; now she has died again!"

What about the other? It has been found that she is still alive. And she is not alone - three other cousins are also in the mad asylum. That too has been kept secret for forty-six years. And these are the people who are the models....

All around the world, man seems to be the meanest and the most cunning animal of all the animals.

Zarathustra's whole effort is to bring innocence to man: the freedom of the sky, the silence of the sky, the purity of the sky, the innocence of the sky.

O SKY ABOVE ME! O PURE, DEEP SKY! YOU ABYSS OF LIGHT! GAZING INTO YOU, I TREMBLE WITH DIVINE DESIRES. What are the divine desires?... a longing to transcend all that man has treasured up to now as valuable.

What he has been thinking of as ornaments are nothing but chains; what he has been thinking of as houses are nothing but prisons; what he has been thinking of as family does not help him to grow, but makes him retarded. What he has been thinking of as religions - which are supposed to lead man towards God - are the only people preventing man from any search for God.

A divine longing is to transcend all these barriers and to move into the unknown sky, in search of the impossible. The beauty of his idea is that by searching for the impossible you will find yourself. You cannot find yourself unless your longing is for the impossible. Only that great longing can raise you high above all human limitations, can clean you from all that has polluted you, can make your soul just as vast as the sky, and as pure as the sky.

TO CAST MYSELF INTO YOUR HEIGHT - THAT IS MY DEPTH. Zarathustra says, "Your height is my depth. Less than that will not satisfy me."

TO HIDE MYSELF IN YOUR PURITY - THAT IS MY INNOCENCE! And unless I am as pure as you are, I will not know my own innocence.

THE GOD IS VEILED BY HIS BEAUTY: THUS YOU HIDE YOUR STARS. YOU DO NOT SPEAK:

THUS YOU PROCLAIM TO ME YOUR WISDOM. The sky does not speak. That does not mean it is dumb, and that does not mean that it is ignorant. The mystic knows that when you know, silence is the only language. The silence of the sky proclaims its wisdom.

He is also saying, THE GOD IS VEILED BY HIS BEAUTY. In a beautiful flower, in a beautiful sunset, in a beautiful starry night, in the beautiful silence, you can find God; but not in the churches and not in the temples and not in the mosques. Their priests have created false gods to deceive humanity.

All your temples of God are just man-manufactured shops where you can purchase God very easily and cheaply - without any search, without any risk, without any danger, without going anywhere, without opening your wings into the sky, without even opening your eyes to the light, without even raising your head and looking at the starry night... a stone statue.

The priests have deceived you for centuries and they go on deceiving you. They alone are not responsible, you are also responsible for it. You want it cheap. Wherever there is a demand for cheap gods, of course a few people will supply cheap gods.

And the person who talks about the authentic God will appear dangerous to you. He can corrupt the minds of the young people because he can create a longing in the young people for an impossible pilgrimage. And the crowd does not want you to leave the fold.

WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FROM THE BEGINNING:

WE DO NOT SPEAK TO ONE ANOTHER, BECAUSE WE KNOW TOO MUCH: WE ARE SILENT TOGETHER, WE SMILE OUR KNOWLEDGE TO ONE ANOTHER.

A very beautiful statement: WE DO NOT SPEAK TO ONE ANOTHER, BECAUSE WE KNOW TOO MUCH. There is no need to say anything.

There is a beautiful incident in the life of one of the great mystics of India, Kabir, and another great mystic, Farid. Farid was on pilgrimage with his disciples, and they passed Maghar, a small village near Varanasi. Varanasi is on one side of the Ganges, and Maghar is on the other side. Varanasi has been for centuries the citadel of Hinduism, and according to Hindu scholars it is the ancientmost city in the world. And it looks to be true, also, because it is referred to in the ancientmost scriptures.

The idea has been spread by the priests that a person who dies in Varanasi - it does not matter who he was, a sinner or a saint - just if he dies in Varanasi, his heaven will be guaranteed. So Varanasi is full of many old people, men and women, who are waiting to die there. They have done nothing in their lives - but at least one thing they can do: they can die in Varanasi.

It is a strange city - people go there only to die. When it becomes certain that life has slipped out of their hands, and now there is not much time, people start going to Varanasi. It is the deadliest city in the world. Everybody is waiting to die.

But death is something that you cannot be certain about, so even when people die somewhere else their relatives carry their bodies to Varanasi. At least their bodies can be burned in Varanasi. If not to a higher heaven, at least some lower place somewhere... but hell can be avoided.

Just as it has been known for thousands of years that by dying in Varanasi one is born as a god in heaven, Maghar - the small village on the other side of Varanasi.... There is no way to know how people started the idea, but perhaps every idea needs a balance and Maghar was the closest to Varanasi, so anybody who dies in Maghar is bound to go to hell - if he is a sinner. But if he is a saint, some concessions can be given; he will be born as a donkey!

Before his death, as he was becoming old, Kabir told his disciples - he had lived his whole life in Varanasi - "Now I want to live in Maghar."

They said, "Are you mad? People LEAVE Maghar; before dying they come to this side of the river. It is just fifteen minutes' distance. Are you mad or something that you are thinking to go to Maghar?"

He said, "I want to go to heaven only if I am worthy of it, not because of Varanasi" - just the pride of the man - "I would rather prefer hell; I can become a donkey, that's perfectly okay, but at least I am myself and I don't owe anything to Varanasi." There was no way to convince him; he went to Maghar. Reluctantly his disciples also had to go.

At that time Farid was passing by Maghar. His disciples said, "Just a few days ago Kabir came to live in Maghar, and it will be a great joy if you both meet." The same was said by the followers of Kabir. Kabir said, "Certainly invite him. He should be our guest."

And they met. They hugged each other, they wept, they smiled, they did everything - except speaking. The disciples of both mystics were so disappointed and disgusted, "But what nonsense is going on... two days, and they sit holding each other's hands, crying, or laughing, or dancing." But not a single word was spoken between them.

After two days Farid left; Kabir had come to give him a send-off at the boundary of Maghar. They again hugged, they again cried, they again laughed. Those two days must have been like two lives to the disciples, who were waiting for them to speak, to say something. And as they parted, the disciples of both were very angry and they said, "What kind of meeting was this?"

Kabir said, "There was nothing to say. He is just like me. Saying anything to him would be as if I am talking to myself, it would be simply stupid."

And Farid said, "It was impossible to talk, because whatever he knows, I know; whatever I know, he knows. We are in the same space. We cried for you and we laughed for ourselves. And just not to disappoint you, we even danced. But more than that was not possible. Whoever had spoken would have proved himself ignorant."

WE DO NOT SPEAK TO ONE ANOTHER, BECAUSE WE KNOW TOO MUCH: WE ARE SILENT TOGETHER, WE SMILE OUR KNOWLEDGE TO ONE ANOTHER.

ARE YOU NOT THE LIGHT OF MY FIRE? DO YOU NOT HAVE THE SISTER-SOUL OF MY INSIGHT?

TOGETHER WE LEARNED EVERYTHING; TOGETHER WE LEARNED TO MOUNT ABOVE OURSELVES TO OURSELVES AND TO SMILE UNCLOUDEDLY - TO SMILE UNCLOUDEDLY DOWN FROM BRIGHT EYES AND FROM MILES AWAY WHEN UNDER US COMPULSION AND PURPOSE AND GUILT STREAM LIKE RAIN.

These three words - compulsion, purpose and guilt - are about the crowd of small human beings.

They live a life of compulsion; they even love out of compulsion, they work out of compulsion. They do everything without any joy, out of duty.

My father used to love his feet to be massaged, so whoever he would find... and I was always available because I had nothing to do in the world and everybody knew that I am good for nothing, so nobody gave me any work. People gave me work a few times and the result was such a disaster that they stopped... I was always around. He would ask me and sometimes I would say yes, sometimes I would say no.

One day he asked me, "What decides? Sometimes you say yes, sometimes you say no."

I said, "I say yes when I feel that I can do it lovingly, joyously, without any compulsion. I say no when I feel that I will be doing it out of compulsion, as a duty. And to me, duty is an ugly word."

Sometimes it used to happen, I would start massaging his feet and in the middle I would say, "That's the end." And he would say, "I am not satisfied yet."

I said, "It is not a question of your satisfaction. I am perfectly satisfied. Now, going on massaging you will be out of compulsion, and I hate to do anything out of compulsion; just forgive me."

He said, "You are a strange boy. You started, you were doing so well."

I said, "I was doing so well because I loved it. Whenever I love, I do it. But whenever I don't feel any love, I don't want to pretend. And I want it to be clear to you that this is going to be my approach in everything about life. When I say yes, I mean yes. And when I say no, I mean no. Never try to change my no into yes, you will never succeed. I would rather die than do anything as obedience, under compulsion because you are my father."

But all over the world people are doing things which they hate. And they say that they hate it, but there is some compulsion and they have to do it.

Doing anything under compulsion is slavery - and Zarathustra hates slavery - or for a purpose, which is also another kind of slavery.

You are doing something to gain something, there is a purpose behind it. You are being very nice to someone, there is a purpose behind it. Then your niceness is disgusting. You should be aware that a life lived without purpose, just out of sheer joy, is the only pure life. Purpose contaminates, poisons.

But there are people... for them everything has some purpose behind it. In fact, if there is no purpose they will think you are mad. Then why are you doing it? Purpose has become to them the very aim of every act; they have lived under this kind of idiotic idea.

Now, if anybody is doing something out of sheer joy, not asking for any reward in the end, not asking for anything in response - whose every act has its own reward in itself.... Only such a man knows the depths of life, the heights of life. And those depths and heights are certainly the depths and heights of the sky.

Or people are living out of guilt. Every Sunday people are going to the churches - not that they really want to, not that there is great joy in going, not that they have a feeling for Jesus. But they are going there; otherwise they will feel guilty. Just watch how many things you are doing because of the fear that if you don't do them there will be a guilt feeling.

One existentialist novel has a beautiful incident in it: A man is standing in the court. He has killed a stranger whom he had never known before. The question of enmity does not arise - they have not even been friends.

He had never seen his face, because the man was sitting on the beach looking at the sea, and he came from behind and, with a knife, killed the man. He did not even bother to know who he is, what he looks like. But there was no eyewitness, it was he himself who had told the court. He had reported to the police station, "I have done this, and if you want me to go the court I am willing."

The police officer was also amazed because there was no proof against him and there was no eyewitness. The man said to the judge, "If you are going to punish me, then less than the gallows will not be acceptable."

The judge said, "You are a strange fellow. In the first place, why have you killed that man?"

He said, "Why have I killed that man? Why have I been given birth? Is there any answer to it? Did anybody ask me, 'Do you want to be born or not?' And millions of people die every day. Do you ask them, 'Why are you dying? What is the purpose?'"

The judge said, "Strange... but you killed him!"

He said, "I have said it myself: I was feeling to do something; and I am not talented in anything.

I cannot paint, I cannot sing, I cannot play on any instrument, I cannot dance. I wanted to do something historic. I am really happy that my picture is on every newspaper's front page. That's enough. What more does one need? I am world famous by a single act, and with me, that poor guy is also world famous."

But the law of the country was that unless there are eyewitnesses, some proof, at least some circumstantial proof, you cannot accept the murderer's own words. The judge cannot give the judgment just because this man is saying so. So he asks the police to investigate some circumstantial evidence. What kind of man is this? Some indications - has he committed any other crimes before, has he ever gone to jail before? What he does, what kind of friends he has, what kind of life he lives - collect every circumstantial evidence to show that it is possible that this man has committed the crime.

In that circumstantial evidence there are beautiful things: One man stands up in the witness box and says, "This man can do it. I cannot say that he has done it, but he can do it, because I know - the day his mother died he was sitting with me in a restaurant when somebody came running in and told him, 'Your mother has died.' And his response was so strange that I was shocked. He said, 'I always knew she would die on Sunday just to spoil my holiday. That old woman was real nasty. Now, there are seven days in the week, she could have died any other day. What is the purpose of choosing Sunday? Just to spoil it! And I have purchased tickets to go to the movies. But I knew it. She has always been spoiling things for me.'"

The man said, "I could not believe it, that his mother has died and he is complaining about the day, as if she has chosen the day. And that very night he was seen in the movie, because he had purchased the tickets before. And late in the night he was seen in a disco, dancing.

"And when I asked him, 'Your mother has died just this morning, it doesn't look right that you should be dancing in a disco,' he said, 'Do you mean to say that once your mother is dead you cannot dance, ever? And what does it matter whether you dance after ten hours or ten days or ten months or ten years? Now it is always going to be after my mother is dead, so do you have any objection?

And if people stop dancing because their mothers are dead, all discos will be closed. Because mothers happen to die - everybody's mother is going to die one day or the other - but the dance has to continue.'

"So I can say that this man is the type; he can do anything. Perhaps he has killed that man."

But, howsoever insane that man may look, he has some truth. The mother has died; now whenever you will dance it will be after your mother's death. And how can you make a demarcation that after twelve hours it will be right, or after twenty-four hours it will be right? What is your criterion?

But this man is in fact giving evidence of one thing that perhaps he is not aware of, and neither is the judge aware of. He is saying that this man has no guilt. Mothers die, why make much fuss about it? The only complaint he had was, that there were seven days and she could have chosen some other day.

But he has no guilt. He has even killed a man who was absolutely unknown to him, a stranger, but he has no guilt. He says, "God goes on killing people every day, millions. He goes on giving birth every day to millions, without asking. Why am I supposed to ask if I want to kill somebody? And what is the necessity to know the person? I enjoyed the act, and I am ready to go to the gallows without any guilt. I had come myself to the court, the police had not caught me.

"I don't feel guilty, I simply feel that this whole life is useless. And I finished that man's useless life.

Perhaps he was not courageous enough to finish it - I managed. And if we ever meet somewhere, I know perfectly well he will be thankful to me, 'You did well. I had thought many times to commit suicide but I could not gather the courage, and you did it even without asking.'"

The existentialist philosophy is based on purposelessness, uselessness, futility, boredom, meaninglessness. Life is just accidental. You are not here to fulfill some great purpose, but just by some accident. Existentialist philosophy has been condemned by all the religions because to them, everything has to be purposeful. They are the two polar opposites.

Zarathustra is not an existentialist, neither am I, but existentialism has a certain truth which cannot be denied. And the truth is that there need be no purpose at all - but they stopped there; this is a fragment of truth.

To complete it I would like to say: no action needs to have any purpose outside itself. It has to be intrinsically meaningful, its meaning has to be in itself. This is different from the religious attitude and this is different from the existentialist attitude.

Then each moment has its own joy, its own reward, its own beauty. And moment after moment you go on making a garland of flowers of your life. It will have immense significance and a great aura of joy around it, but it will not be fulfilling any purpose, it will not be giving you any reward. Your very action has been either your reward or your punishment.

AND WHEN I WANDERED ALONE, WHAT DID MY SOUL HUNGER AFTER BY NIGHT AND ON TREACHEROUS PATHS? AND WHEN I CLIMBED MOUNTAINS, WHOM DID I ALWAYS SEEK, IF NOT YOU, UPON MOUNTAINS? I have always been seeking the sky, the space, the unbounded freedom. In my wanderings, in my mountain climbings, there has been only one longing: to attain to ultimate freedom, to be myself, to be authentic and to be free.

AND ALL MY WANDERING AND MOUNTAIN-CLIMBING: IT WAS REALLY A NECESSITY AND AN EXPERIENCE OF CLUMSINESS: MY WHOLE WILL DESIRES ONLY TO FLY, TO FLY INTO YOU! Because I don't have wings I was wandering; it was a poor substitute for it. I was climbing the mountains; it was a little better, but still a substitute.

MY WHOLE WILL DESIRES ONLY TO FLY, TO FLY INTO YOU! Into the space which needs no limits, which requires no boundaries, which demands no expectations, which leaves you absolutely free to your own strength.

AND WHAT HAVE I HATED MORE THAN PASSING CLOUDS AND ALL THAT DEFILES YOU?

AND I HAVE HATED EVEN MY OWN HATRED, BECAUSE IT DEFILED YOU!

I DISLIKE THE PASSING CLOUDS, THESE STEALTHY CATS OF PREY: THEY TAKE FROM YOU AND FROM ME WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON - THE VAST AND BOUNDLESS DECLARATION OF YES AND AMEN.

He is saying, I hate the clouds because they defile your purity. I hate them because they pollute your innocence, and I hate them because one thing is common: THEY TAKE FROM YOU AND FROM ME WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON - THE VAST AND BOUNDLESS DECLARATION OF YES AND AMEN.

I, HOWEVER, AM ONE WHO BLESSES AND DECLARES YES, IF ONLY YOU ARE AROUND ME, YOU PURE, LUMINOUS SKY! YOU ABYSS OF LIGHT! - THEN INTO ALL ABYSSES DO I CARRY MY CONSECRATING DECLARATION YES.

I HAVE BECOME ONE WHO BLESSES AND ONE WHO DECLARES YES: AND FOR THAT I WRESTLED LONG AND WAS A WRESTLER, SO THAT I MIGHT ONE DAY HAVE MY HANDS FREE FOR BLESSING.

THIS, HOWEVER, IS MY BLESSING: TO STAND OVER EVERYTHING AS ITS OWN SKY, AS ITS ROUND ROOF, ITS AZURE BELL AND ETERNAL CERTAINTY: AND HAPPY IS HE WHO THUS BLESSES!

FOR ALL THINGS ARE BAPTIZED AT THE FOUNT OF ETERNITY AND BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL; GOOD AND EVIL THEMSELVES, HOWEVER, ARE ONLY INTERVENING SHADOWS AND DAMP AFFLICTIONS AND PASSING CLOUDS.

THE WORLD IS DEEP: AND DEEPER THAN DAY HAS EVER COMPREHENDED. NOT EVERYTHING MAY BE SPOKEN IN THE PRESENCE OF DAY. BUT DAY IS COMING: SO LET US PART!

O SKY ABOVE ME, YOU MODEST, GLOWING SKY! O YOU, MY HAPPINESS BEFORE SUNRISE!

DAY IS COMING: SO LET US PART!

Zarathustra is saying a very profound thing: that there are things which can be known only in the darkness and in the depths of darkness, because life is a mystery - not a problem that can be solved, but a mystery that can be lived.

Have you watched it: as the night comes everything starts becoming mysterious. As the day comes, mystery evaporates with the dewdrop evaporating from the lotus leaf. The day is superficial. It represents knowledge, and man can know only that which is below man.

If man wants to rise above himself, then he has to rise above knowledge too. He has to be courageous enough to live in a mystery without asking why, without creating a doubt, without any question - with a total yes.

Unless a man is capable of saying a total yes to the mysterious he cannot transcend human mind.

Human mind is continuously suspicious; it is always creating doubt. To repress doubts it goes on creating beliefs, but every belief has a doubt hidden behind it. To hide suspicions it goes on creating faith, but every faith is nothing but a curtain, and behind the curtain are all kinds of suspicions.

To go beyond man means to go beyond man's mind. What I call meditation Zarathustra calls "transcending man and man's mind."

To me, meditation is the way to the mystery of existence. He does not use the word meditation - perhaps he was not even aware of the word - but what he says is exactly what meditation is.

Go beyond all your doubts, suspicions, questionings. Go into the dark and into the unknown and into the mysterious - and with a deep yes and a sacred amen. That is the only way to know yourself, and that is the only way to know the mysterious beauty of life and existence.

... THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA.

Okay, Maneesha?

Yes, Osho.