When the ocean has called you

Question 1:

Krishna Priya, there is some misunderstanding. There is no question in the world which cannot be asked. Yes, there are answers which cannot be answered. A question always comes from the mind; hence the mind always finds appropriate words for it. But the answer comes from your very being, from your depths of silence where no words have ever entered. The territory of the words and language is the mind, and that is also the territory of the questions. Every question can be brought into words - only when you start feeling the answers, then the problem arises.

I have been watching you for almost ten years. You have gone through such a transformation that what you are thinking is a question, is not a question. You have come very close to the answer - that's why you cannot find words. But this is something that happens very rarely to very blessed souls. You should feel blissful, fortunate and grateful to existence.

The misunderstanding is also very natural, because the mind is well acquainted only with questions.

When for the first time you are pregnant with an answer, it is a natural misunderstanding of the mind that there is some question because the answer, mind knows not, and the answer, mind cannot express.

You are saying, "What to do with the question when there are no words for it?" Then it is absolutely certain it is not a question. It is an answer, and you are not supposed to do anything at all.

A question has to be solved:

An answer has to be lived.

So what is arising in you - the peace, the silence, the joy that I can see in your eyes, on your face, the tremendous change... because you used to be very serious.... You have moved almost one-hundred-and-eighty degrees. You radiate joy.

Drop the misunderstanding that it is a question and rejoice that it is the answer. It will never find any words; it has never found any expression. Yes, your eyes may show it, your face may radiate it, your very gestures may have the grace of it, but words are too small and too trivial and too mundane - their approach is very limited.

The answer is beyond the mind. Those who go on seeking through the mind go on coming upon new questions. The very few people who have found the answer are those who have gone beyond mind, beyond words, beyond language.

You are saying, "And what to do with the secrets in our hearts when there is no way to express them?" Nothing has to be done; they will find their way of their own accord.

You have to understand one thing very clearly: there are things which you cannot do, but which happen. If somebody says to you,"love me"... now, love cannot be commanded, love cannot be ordered, and if - according to the order and according to the commandment - you make an effort to love, it is going to be phony; it cannot be an authentic reality.

What is arising in your being is thrilling your heart. It will find its own way to happen - in a dance, in a song, or in just deep silence which is not negative, but immensely full... in some creativity, or anything that you do - your being will find its way to do it in a new way that you have never done before, with great love.

You are not supposed to find expression for your experiences and the secrets that are arising in your being. They are far bigger than you; you cannot manage them. You are left far behind; those secrets, those answers happen only when you are not. Who is going to express them? Neither are there words to express, nor is there a person to express them. Now the experience itself will find its way, just as the rivers find their way to the ocean, just as roots find their way rising into trees and blossoming into flowers.

Looking at the roots and the flowers you may not see any connection at all - roots are ugly, and the flowers are so beautiful - but all the juice and all the color and all the beauty and all the fragrance that the flower has, have been given by the roots. The roots have been carrying those flowers for years in their womb. The seeds are never beautiful, but they can give birth to great beauty. You just wait....

I can understand your impatience, because you are too full and you want to shower just like a raincloud, but it is not within your capacity. Neither have you found it, nor is it in your hands to express it. On the contrary, it will be right to say it has found you. And now it will find its way in some creative act, in some loving act, in something that indicates that it is not coming from the mind. You have given it birth just as a woman gives birth to a child. She does not create it; it grows of its own accord, and a day comes when it comes out of the womb.

Every meditator has to remember it: One day you will be pregnant with God - whether you are man or woman does not matter - and the unknown will find its way. You are simply to relax and follow it.

You are not to become a guide, but you have to be guided by it. You have to become just a shadow.

It becomes the reality and you become the shadow, and wherever the reality moves, the shadow moves. This is the experience everybody else is waiting here for. And the same question will be asked by many, sometime or other.

It is good, Krishna Priya, that you have asked it, because it is not only your question, it is going to be the question of many. Those who can be patient enough, those who can wait for the divine to take shape in their being, will have the same question, exactly in the same words.

But don't become tense because the experience is so new. And don't be afraid, because it may lead you in new ways which you are not acquainted with, untrodden by you ever before - not even dreamt, not even imagined.

This is the moment when trust is needed. Trust in existence, not in any belief system, not in any priest, not in any church, not in any holy book, but in existence. All around you the trees are so deeply trusting, the rivers are trusting, the mountains are trusting, the millions of stars are trusting.

The whole existence is a tremendous experiment of trust.

And this is the right moment for you to become part of this immense experiment of trust. Let life lead your way. Give your hand to existence without any doubt and without any question. And never ask where it is leading you - it always leads to your destiny, and it never fails.

Those who cannot trust, they fail, because they think themselves wiser than the whole world, the whole existence. What is your wisdom? What is your intelligence? not even a dewdrop. And when the ocean has called you, trust it - take a jump and disappear into it.

Question 2:

Chitbodhi, man is accustomed to misery; hence, he is never afraid of misery. However great, when misery happens, he knows it.

But man is absolutely unacquainted with joy. He has forgotten the very language of joy. His mind is full of tensions, anxieties, anguishes, anger, violence, jealousy. Nothing makes him afraid - they are all old companions, he knows them perfectly well. He has lived with them, although it has been a suffering, it has been a hell. But this is one of the significant factors to be understood about man:

he can adapt himself to any conditions.

It happened in Egypt nearabout three thousand years ago: There was a monastery, and the monastery had an underground graveyard. Whenever any monk died, the great stone that was covering the way to the graveyard underneath was removed, and the monk's body was lowered down in deep darkness. The tunnel was miles long - a natural tunnel.

Thousands of monks have been lowered into that tunnel, and according to the Egyptian convention every monk was given some money, some clothes, and some food, because he was going for a pilgrimage. It was sixty feet deep and miles long.

It happened that a monk had not died, but was in a coma. Others thought that he had died, and they opened the graveyard, lowered the monk, closed the graveyard... and after a few hours the monk came to consciousness. He could not believe where he was - immense darkness, darkness so deep, as he had never seen, because not even a ray of light had ever entered into that tunnel.

And such a stink, because so many dead bodies had become rotten - all around there were bodies and bodies, and they were all dead.

He shouted as much as he could, although he knew deep down that his voice would not reach to the monks in the monastery because it was sixty feet deep and then a huge rock always closed....

He had himself closed that rock many times. But as a last resort, he tried shouting with all his might, "I am alive!" But nobody heard it.

And you will be surprised to know the immense adaptability of man. You may think that he must have committed suicide - you are wrong. He lived in the hope that someday some monk will die, and the rock will be removed - then he can shout.

But meanwhile there was a little food that he has been sent with, and after that food, he started eating rotten food sent with other dead bodies which had become just skeletons.

It took ten years for another monk to die, although this monk was praying every day to God, "There are so many old monks...." But God has never heard anybody. Over the time of ten years he became a cannibal; he started eating the flesh of dead bodies. Not only that, he started collecting the money that had been given to each monk when he died, and the clothes - in the hope that when he would be rescued, he would take all these clothes and all this money.

And slowly, slowly he forgot that the graveyard was stinking; he forgot that he was living the ugliest life possible. For water, there was nothing else than the water that was coming from the rocks, and he knew that the water was from the gutters of the monastery. He started drinking that water; he could not have even touched it before, but there was no other way. The lust for life is so tremendous that man can manage.... That water which was coming was so dirty, but for him it was almost nectar; it was life-giving. And he was the only living man in that miles-long tunnel.

As he was moving around in the darkness, slowly, slowly his eyes became accustomed to seeing a little bit in the darkness. And dead people, just skeletons - nobody was there to prevent him, so he was searching everybody, finding money, clothes.

And when after ten years the rock was removed, he shouted back up. People had completely forgotten about him. They pulled him out, but he said, "First you pull up my clothes" - he had a big pile of clothes. People could not believe that.... Then he said, "Now pull up my money." So they pulled up his money - he had collected the money from thousands of people. After all his treasures were taken out, he came out.

It was difficult for him to open his eyes in the sunlight. He had grown such a long beard that it was touching the floor, and he was looking so healthy. People could not believe it and said, "How have you managed? You used to be very thin, and you have collected so much weight!" And when they heard his story they could not believe that a man can do this. When you think about it, putting yourself in his place.... First it is shocking, but soon you will understand that what he did, you would have done also.

He lived twenty years more. And again his eyes became accustomed to light. Now he himself could not believe that those ten years - it seemed almost like a nightmare that is ended.

Chitbodhi, you are afraid because you are feeling the first stirrings of joy. It is unknown territory.

Your heart you are feeling for the first time. The heart is not just what the medical people say, or the physiologists say - a pumping station. The heart that the mystics and the poets talk about has nothing to do with the heart that medical science talks about.

Behind almost every physical organ there is a parallel to it - just behind it, a spiritual receptivity.

Behind your eyes, there are eyes which see things, which these eyes cannot see. And behind your ears, there are ears which can hear music, that these ears cannot hear. And behind your physical heart, there is a spiritual heart which knows love - which this heart has no idea about - which knows joy.

The physical heart can be changed, and a plastic heart may be far better because a plastic heart cannot have a heart failure. There are, around the world, thousands of people moving about with an artificial heart. But that artificial heart cannot love. Just put two artificial hearts close to each other and see what kind of dialogue happens. Nothing will happen; there are just two dead things. They can do the function of purifying your blood, of taking in the oxygen, of throwing out the carbon dioxide; but love is neither oxygen nor carbon dioxide. Love is not a question of breathing - everybody is breathing.

So remember, whenever I talk about the heart, I am not talking about the heart medical science talks about - this is something behind it. Each of your senses has a parallel sense behind it.

If you hear me, you can hear in two ways. Either you can hear only with your outer ear, or you can hear with your inner ear too. When your outer and inner ear both hear, then it is listening; otherwise it is only hearing.

When your outer eyes and inner eyes both see, then the same existence becomes so psychedelic, so colorful.... The same tree is greener than it has ever been - and not only greener, each leaf has its own energy aura. The whole tree is surrounded by an energy aura, radiating rays.

In the Soviet Union one man has developed a new photography, Kirlian photography. He uses such sensitive plates that he can picture not only the trees in his plates, but trees with their energy aura surrounding them.

When your inner eyes are together with your outer eyes and there is a harmony, you will see this whole existence is a festival of lights, that everything is radiating light, is surrounded by beautiful light, soft... every man is surrounded.

And a man can be known by his aura. The ordinary man has only nearabout a one-inch aura all around his body, but as your meditation deepens your aura becomes bigger - two inches, three inches, four inches, five inches.

As your meditation deepens you are surrounded with more and more light coming from your inner being.

You have seen the pictures of Buddha or Jesus with a circle of light around their head, an aura, and people think that it is simply mythology. Now Kirlian photography proves it - it is not mythology.

Kirlian photography says that that kind of round aura happens only when somebody has reached to his very innermost core, when somebody is awakened - a Gautam Buddha. Then his whole head radiates something of the eternal.

But when things start happening for the first time, one feels afraid. When a young boy, fourteen years old, becomes for the first time aware of his sexuality, he feels afraid, embarrassed, becomes very uptight, is worried: "What is happening? If somebody comes to know.... And what am I supposed to do with it?" A new energy has become available of which he was not aware at all up to now. And when spiritual energy becomes available to you, it is a million-times-bigger phenomenon.... You feel joy, you feel blissfulness, and at the same time a trembling, a fear - but this fear will disappear.

It is a natural process. As you become more and more accustomed to the new state of joyfulness, fear will be reduced. Soon you will find there is no fear at all. And to be fearless is a tremendously great achievement, because fear is part of your death. If you become fearless, you have tasted something which is deathless.

In your joy you have come close to the deathless, in your joy you have come to your immortality.

You are saying, Chitbodhi, "You are the well. All the time when I came there was fresh water waiting for me - cleaning and purifying me, taking me apart and putting me together in a different more beautiful way. Now, for the first time, I feel the courage to be so close that I can see my face mirrored in your water. I'm afraid, Osho, and also full of joy."

Give all your energy to joy, and fear will disappear. Ignore fear, don't pay any attention to fear, because the more attention you pay to it, the longer it will linger on. Pour yourself totally in the direction from where joy is arising, and fear will disappear just as darkness disappears when you bring light in.

Joy is light. And joy is the beginning of a great pilgrimage which ends in finding God. So go on - without any fear, because existence always protects those who trust it. Relax, give yourself to existence and allow the joy to overwhelm you. Let it become your wings, so that you can reach to the stars.

A joyful heart is very close to the stars.

It is only the sad and the sorrowful and the miserable who are going towards hell. They are creating their hell. The joyful and the singing and the dancing and the celebrating are creating their paradise by each of their songs, by each of their dances.

It is in your hands whether to create paradise or to fall into a darkness, into hellfire. These are not outside you; these both are within you. It all depends what you choose to be.

Choose to be divine, choose to be more and more a celebrant, choose to be festive, so more and more flowers can blossom in your being, and more and more fragrance can become available to you.

And this way will not only help you, Chitbodhi, it will help all those with whom you come in contact.

Joy is as infectious as any disease. When you see a few people dancing, suddenly you feel your feet are ready. You may try to control them, because control has been taught to you, but your body wants to join the dance. Whenever you have an opportunity to laugh, join; whenever you have an opportunity to dance, join; whenever you have an opportunity to sing, sing - and one day you will find you have created your paradise.

It is not that one goes to paradise; paradise is not somewhere in the sky - it is something that one creates around himself.

It is a good beginning. With all my blessings, go deeper, in spite of any fear. Never listen to negative things, because if you listen to them they can poison you, they can destroy your joy - keep it pure, unpolluted. And here are people who will dance with you, who will celebrate, because you have taken the first step towards God.

And I want to remind you that the first step is almost half the journey.

Question 3:

Chandra, Rabindranath Tagore, although he belongs to this century, echoes thousands-of-years -old longings and dreams of the East. He belongs to the seers of the UPANISHADS. He is the only man this century has produced whose words can be compared to the five-thousand-year-old UPANISHADS.

Those UPANISHADS were songs of the first seers of humanity, but it is a strange fact that truth remains the same. Everything changes, but the truth is eternal. Five thousand years of distance, but whatever Rabindranath sings, appears to be coming from the days of the UPANISHADS, of those days of humanity's childhood - so innocent and so pure.

Man was not yet corrupted by religions, organized faiths; man was not yet under the slavery of the priests; man was not yet divided into Hindus and Mohammedans and Christians and Jews.

Humanity was still one.

The seers of the UPANISHADS were as innocent as every child is - it was easy for them to sing those beautiful songs of tremendous meaning. But for Rabindranath, being a twentieth-century man, it was certainly a miracle that he dropped five thousand years of knowledgeability and became a child again. Every mystic has to become a child again.

These few lines are from "Gitanjali," Rabindranath's book for which he was awarded the Nobel Prize.

Gitanjali means "offering of songs."

Somebody asked Rabindranath, "Why have you chosen this title?" He said, "I don't have anything else to offer to God except my imperfect songs."

On his death bed, an old friend had come to console Rabindranath, and he told him, "You should be dying with absolute contentment, because you are perhaps the greatest poet in the whole world."

In the West, Shelley has two thousand songs which can be put to music. Rabindranath has six thousand songs, and of far greater significance than any of the songs that Shelley has. That old friend was saying to Rabindranath, "You should die absolutely contented. You have achieved something - a peak no one has ever been able to achieve."

Rabindranath opened his eyes and said, "Keep quiet! - because I know I have not been able to sing the song I had come to sing. I am an utter failure. I am dying with tears in my eyes." And he did die with tears in his eyes.

He said to his friend, "I am praying to God! 'Give me a little time more, because in this whole life that you have given to me, I have been simply arranging my instruments. Now that the instruments are ready, you are taking me away - and the song that I have come to sing remains unsung.'"

The friend could not believe what Rabindranath was saying. He said, "Then what about your six thousand songs?"

Rabindranath said, "Those are all failures. Six thousand efforts to sing the song that I have come to sing, but each time I failed. I was trying hard to sing the song that was just on my tongue, but the moment I expressed it, it was something else. It was not the same quality, the same depth, the same beauty. When it was within me it was a living reality, and when it was spoken it was something dead. People have appreciated my songs, and I have been crying in my nights, 'Will I be able to sing it? Or I will always be a failure.'"

This is one of the fundamental qualities of greatness, because the longing and the dream are so high, and the human reach is so small. The longing is for the moon, and the human reach is so small that only small people can be contented about their creativity. The greater the man, the more he will feel he has failed.

Although Rabindranath has given such beautiful songs that there is no comparison, he had a comparison which nobody from the outside had any idea about. He had a song deep in his soul, very alive, ready to burst forth, and he always compared his songs with his inner feeling. He found that what he wanted to express had remained behind. Although he had been able to put together beautiful words, the life was no longer in them, the heart was no longer beating in them. They are faraway echoes of the song he wanted to sing.

I KNOW NOT HOW THOU SINGEST, MY MASTER.

He is asking God Himself...

I KNOW NOT HOW THOU SINGEST, MY MASTER.

I EVER LISTEN IN SILENT AMAZEMENT.

THE LIGHT OF THY MUSIC ILLUMINES THE WORLD, THE LIFE BREATH OF THY MUSIC RUNS FROM SKY TO SKY, THE HOLY STREAM OF THY MUSIC BREAKS THROUGH ALL STONY OBSTACLES AND RUSHES ON.

MY HEART LONGS TO JOIN IN THY SONG, BUT VAINLY STRUGGLES FOR VOICE.

I HAVE GOT THE SONG, BUT WHERE IS THE VOICE?

WHERE ARE THE WORDS?"

He is saying, "You have given me the song, but you have made me so poor that I don't have the voice to sing it" - and he was a beautiful singer, he was a great musician. He created a new kind of music altogether, which is called "Rabindra music."

India has a tremendously long history of great musicians; it has explored all the dimensions possible, and for hundreds of years nobody has been able to add anything new. Rabindranath has added a new dimension, but still his longing is so great that whatever he does falls short.

MY HEART LONGS TO JOIN IN THY SONG, BUT VAINLY STRUGGLES FOR VOICE.

I WOULD SPEAK, BUT SPEECH BREAKS NOT INTO SONG, AND I CRY OUT BAFFLED...

When he was awarded the Nobel prize and he addressed the Nobel committee, he said, "You have awarded my tears. As far as the songs are concerned, I am still struggling to find voice for them."

AH, THOU HAS MADE MY HEART CAPTIVE IN THE ENDLESS MESHES OF THY MUSIC, MY MASTER.

You have imprisoned me in endless meshes of music; I am unable to find the way out. I tried this way, I tried that way - my whole life I have been trying and trying and trying - but nothing seems to succeed.

This awareness makes him not only a poet, but a mystic too. In this whole century there have been many poets, but Rabindranath is a category by himself.

The poets, the painters, the musicians, the sculptors are very egoist people; they are continuously bragging about their painting, about their music, about their poetry. Rabindranath belongs to a totally different category - he is so humble. And I would like to say to you that the greater you are, the humbler you become. The higher the peak of your being, the deeper will be the valley by your side.

The greater your being, the deeper will be your feeling that you could have done much more, but you have done so little.

The last words he said on his deathbed were, "I am worried. What will I say to God? - that you had sent me to sing just one song, and I could not even manage to do it."

This should also be the experience of all meditators, because the deeper your meditation goes, the more and more your ego disappears. Finally it leaves you just a nobody - anonymous, no name, no fame. In that great nothingness, you become one with the whole universe.

Question 4:

Gurudayal Singh, it is a right observation that the people are blind, that they are deaf, that they are insane, that they are utterly prejudiced, irrational in their beliefs. But because of all this, they need more compassion. You cannot say that because people are sick and ill the doctor should simply leave them. When people are sick and ill they need more compassion.

It is a great opportunity for you. In spite of their misbehavior, mistreatment, ugly lies, you can still remain silent, peaceful, loving and compassionate. And if you become enlightened in this society, the whole credit will go to the society. There is no need to be angry about them. What can they do? They have been handed down all this garbage for centuries. They are victims; they need all the compassion that is possible.

I would like you to remember Jesus. At the last moment on the cross he raised his eyes and hands towards the sky and said, "Father, forgive these people, because they know not what they are doing."

In that moment Jesus reached his highest experience of life, his highest ecstasy. The love and the compassion that were in his eyes and heart for those who were crucifying him have made him go through a fire test, and he came out pure gold.

So I can understand... the world is going to be against me. It is not their fault, it is my fault. They are fast asleep, dreaming great dreams, and I am trying to wake them up. Naturally they are getting angry. They are living with their beliefs, consoled, and I am disturbing their beliefs. I am trying to say to them, "Your beliefs are only beliefs; you have to drop them and to search for truth on your own."

Because I am disturbing their consolation, the fault is mine. And of course they are in the majority.

People ordinarily think that if so many people are thinking in the same way as they think, it must be true. But they don't know that truth is not to be decided by voting; truth is to be decided by experience.

The whole world may be against me, still it does not disturb me, for the simple reason that whatever I am saying is my own experience; I am saying it on my own authority. And those who are with me - and Gurudayal Singh has been with me for almost twenty-five years, a beautiful human being - naturally get worried and concerned, "What kind of humanity have we got? "

All the countries proclaim democracy, freedom of speech, freedom of movement, respect for the individual, and every country practices just the opposite. There is no respect for the individual; there is no respect for individual freedom of expression.

Just a few days ago, one of my friends was looking at the files of the CID department in New Delhi, because the chief of the CID department is his friend, and the chief was not aware that he is my friend also. He saw my name there... all kinds of charges, without any evidence.

The chief told him first, "He is a dangerous man." Now you should give some evidence. Have I killed somebody? Have I thrown any bomb or dynamite at somebody? Am I a terrorist, a murderer? But no, just this much is enough, "He is a dangerous man, and he has to be silenced."

My friend was very much shocked and he asked the chief, "What do you mean, 'he has to be silenced?' Do you mean he has to be assassinated, killed?"

He said, "No, that is not the meaning of it. 'Silenced' means we have to make every effort that no country allows him in, and we will not allow people coming from other countries to meet him.

Naturally, he will not be able to corrupt people's minds."

My friend just jokingly said, "But have you any evidence that he has corrupted anybody's mind? And do you remember - the same was the charge against Socrates, that he corrupts people's minds?"

And just today I received from the police commissioner a new list in which he states that every talk that I deliver should be taped by the police. And before it is published they will scrutinize it they will do the editing work. And he said, "I have come from Bombay - meeting my boss - receiving all these instructions."

One of my sannyasins has asked the parliament in Germany, "It is now over one year since you decided that Osho cannot enter into Germany. In the first place, it was absolutely illegal to say that Osho cannot enter into Germany. It was absolutely illegal - a man who has never been to your country, who has never broken any of your laws, who has done no harm to anybody in Germany....

Why should the parliament decide that this man cannot enter? Not only that, but his jet airplane cannot land on any airport in Germany, even for refueling. It is time that you withdraw it."

So it has been reconsidered, and today I received their reconsidered order. Again the same charges that, "He is a dangerous man, and his entry into Germany will disturb many people. He is on the list of the international police, Interpol, as a wanted man. So we cannot withdraw the order - the order is reinforced."

But I love the words, "He is a wanted man by the Interpol." At least some consolation - somebody, somewhere wants me.

Gurudayal, don't take these people seriously, because crucifixion is out of date. And they have committed that mistake once. By crucifying Jesus they created Christianity, and Jews are still repenting about it.

I am not saying this without any foundation. The attorney general of America, answering a press conference, said, "We did not put Osho into jail because we don't want him to become a martyr. That will help his disciples to become more sympathetic, more loving towards him, more surrendered towards him. We cannot take that risk."

But the desire is clear - if the risk was not there, they would have liked to put me into jail for my whole life, or to kill me - but the fear that that may create a greater movement.... What I cannot do alive, their killing me may do.

In two thousand years people have learned something; otherwise there is no reason.... If they had poisoned Socrates, killed Mansoor, crucified Jesus, they could have killed me any day. The desire is there, but also a great fear: If they kill me, then my words and my people will become stronger, my death will bring them together. My people will become a force in changing the whole future of humanity.

So they are trying more sophisticated ways: silencing me.

They don't know that, according to me, they are only retarded people. If they can find a way of preventing my people, I can find a way of bringing my people there. For the whole year they have been trying to silence me, and I am still speaking. And all the governments of the world and all the religious heads of the world are together in the conspiracy against a single man - that shows how much intelligence they have.

I told my sannyasins, "Drop the orange clothes, drop the mala, so there is no identity left that you are sannyasins." Unless India wants to lose all its tourists, they cannot prevent my people from coming.

Now my people are not sannyasins, but just tourists. And they cannot lose their tourists, because India earns nearabout fifteen million dollars per year from tourists. So all that I have to do is just tell my people, "Behave more stupidly, don't look intelligent."

Okay, Vimal?

Yes, Osho.