Become a flame

Question 1:

The word 'God' is not God. The word 'love' is not love. The word 'fire' is not fire. So the first thing is to remember: don't get attached too much to words, don't get obsessed too much with words. Words are only symbols, indicative: use them, but don't become burdened too much by them. If the word 'god' creates trouble, forget that word. 'Allah'

will do, 'Ram' will do, 'X Y Z' -- choose another word if that word has become wrongly associated. But if you start creating a resistance against God himself, against the truth itself only you will be responsible, and only you will be missing something of tremendous value. but this happens. We use language; we become so much obsessed with language that we forget that language is not the reality. In fact, one has to put language aside to see the reality.

The incident is significant. if you had become resistant against priests, there was nothing wrong in it; but that has not happened. The priest had refused to help -- not God. Avoid priests, there is no problem in it -- in fact, the more you avoid them, the closer you will be to God. The priest is not needed at all. He goes on propagating that he is needed; he emphasizes that without him there is no possibility for you to ever enter into the world of God -- but that is HIS proposition. It is his business, it is his trade secret, he has to create this atmosphere. Otherwise, no medium is needed; God is immediately available. But of course, priests have made a great business -- the greatest ever -- and they ideal in such a commodity which is invisible, so you can never prove whether they deliver or not. The commodity itself is invisible. It is a beautiful game.

I have heard...

"What's the little boy crying about?" the kind old lady asked the ragged urchin.

"That other kid swiped his candy," he replied.

"But how is it that you have the candy now?"

"Sure, I got the candy now," replied the urchin. "I'm the kids lawyer."

You get it? The priest is going to exploit you; he becomes your lawyer, he becomes you agent. He himself is completely unaware of God -- otherwise he would not be a priest; he would have been a prophet, not a priest at all. 'Priest' is an ugly word: one who is using religion as a business and exploiting people in the name of God. The prophet is one who helps you to be transformed, transfigured. The prophet is not so much concerned with God as he is concerned with you, your reality. Once your reality starts manifesting you will know what God is -- because you are God in seed. We can completely forget about God: Buddha never talked about it, Mahavira never talked about it. Yet Buddha helped tremendously. He insisted: God is not the question, God is not the quest; the quest is your innermost being. A prophet is concerned with your being. If your being flowers, blooms, in the fragrance you will know what god is. There is no other way.

By prayer, by the temple, by the church, by the ritual, tradition, you are not going to get anywhere; only the priest will go on becoming richer and richer. And his investment becomes so big that the priest and the politician join together in exploiting people. That is the greatest conspiracy: down the centuries, the priests and the politicians have always joined hands together. They are the greatest culprits. Jesus was crucified because he was not a priest. He started behaving like a prophet, priests are afraid -- because he is going to destroy the whole business. Jesus was crucified because of the priests; the priests were behind the whole scene. No prophet is ever tolerated by priest -- cannot be tolerated; it is dangerous.

So if you incident had helped you to become aware of priest, it was good. But somehow your association went wrong. Don't go to a church, there is no need; God is everywhere.

Don't go to a priest, there is no need; God is available to you -- directly, immediately. But if you have a resistance to the word 'god' itself, that will become a barrier. That will prohibit you; that won't allow you to flow towards the infinite. and there is no reason -- because God has not done anything. The priest turned away, but do you know that God turned away? God has never turned away from anybody. In fact, because the priest turned away, God may have looked and cared for the dying man more -- because there was no other help. When a man is helpless, God simply starts flowing towards him. In tremendous helplessness you become receptive. When the man was completely helpless, and the priest turned away, and the man dying and death is enclosing upon him -- in that helplessness he must have made a contact; you cannot see it from the outside.

Be against the priest. But there is no need, it is not warranted at all, that you say, I know God is within me. You don't know, you know it not at all. You have heard it. You have heard me say it, you have heard Jesus saying it -- "God is within you" -- but you don't know it at all. Because once you know it, then there is no problem; knowing that 'God is within me', immediately God is without too. The moment you know a single ray of the divine penetrating you, you have come to know all that is there to be known, it becomes known, the without is known. The without known, it become known in the within too -- because within and without are not two separate things, they are two aspects of the same energy.

Now, this thinking that 'God is within me' may again be a trick of your resistance, because you don't want to see God out there. You are against it, because somewhere deep down in your mind you feel that if God is there then you will need a mediator, then you will need somebody to guide you there. If God is without, somewhere up in heaven, then somebody will be needed to guide you. Alone, you will not be able to find him, where he is. So you say, "God is within me" -- now there is no need for the priest. You are saying it just to avoid the priest -- but you don't know it.

God is all. The distinction between within and without is false. Without and within are on; it is one reality, from one corner to another. It is not two, it is not dual, so don't divide it.

I have heard...

When Xerxes stood on the shore with his army and looked across the Hellespont, he asked himself, "How can I get my men across?" He commanded his generals to build him a bridge of boats, and they obeyed. But a storm came up and smashed his bridge into driftwood. In a towering rage, he ordered the execution of the overseers who had directed the work. But that was not enough to satisfy him as he was really in a great rage, almost mad. So he ordered his slaves to administer three hundred lashes to the sea.

Now this is foolish -- three hundred lashes to the sea. But this how mind works; our mind is very childish. Have you not seen a small child? -- he hurts himself against the door or against the furniture and then he beats the furniture. As if the furniture is the enemy, as if the furniture has done something to him. He may have stumbled himself, but he feels the chair is responsible. This childish attitude continues. People become senile, but their childish attitude never changes.

Now, a priest misbehaved. If you are a little reasonable.... First thing: if one priest has misbehaved, that does not mean all priests are wrong. Second thing: the priest has misbehaved, not God. Third thing: you don't know what happened to that dying man in his innermost core of being.

Don't be in such a hurry to make conclusions. A wise man never concludes so easily, because all conclusions make your mind closed. We don't know enough; conclusions are dangerous. A conclusion is right only when you have known all. The greatest wise men of the world have said they know nothing, so how can we conclude? And whatsoever we know is so small, so tiny... as if you have read one line in the Bible, and the whole Bible has not been read by you, and from that one line you conclude something. It will be foolish; it is not wise.

You ask, "What is the resistance then?" I don't think that the resistance depends on this incident. In fact, everybody is resistant against God; excuses may be different. This story is an excuse -- because it is unreasonable to be resistant to God only because of this incident. So this must be an excuse. You wanted the resistance -- this story simply supplied you an argument, an excuse.

Everybody is resistant against God -- why? Because if you want to know God, you have to disappear: that is the resistance. You have to die if God is to live in you. You have to disappear utterly, totally; you have to be vacant, you have to empty yourself. Only in you void can God descend; when you are too much, he cannot enter in you. Your cup is too full of yourself. This cup has to be emptied -- that's the resistance.

Don't pay much attention to excuses -- they are meaningless. Behind the excuses the real problem hides. The real problem is: to become religious, one has to deny oneself -- that is the only sacrifice needed. The ego has to be dropped. The mind has to cease for the God to be -- and of course, then there is resistance.

So drop this incident. This has nothing to do.... In fact, it is very rarely that I come across a person who is not resistant, who is not deep down fighting with God. It is natural; try to understand it. We want to remain our own selves: God is the greatest danger. Hence, people go to the priest. They could have walked directly to God, but they go to the priest -- because they don't really want to go to God. The priest protects them from God. They go to the scripture, because the scripture is dead and you cannot find an alive God in scripture. This is a way to avoid.

People don't go to a living Master, because to go to a living Master means jumping into the fire. You will disappear -- but only through that disappearance God appears.

To be really religious is to commit suicide. And I mean it -- when I say suicide, I meant it -- suicide. When a person kills himself, that is not suicide; just the body changes -- he will be born again. That is just a change of the body, change of the clothes, change of the abode. But when a man simply drops his ego, he has committed real suicide, authentic suicide; now he will be coming no more. Now there will be no need for him to have another abode in this world of misery, in this world of darkness, in this world which is almost a hell. He will not be coming again. Ego dropped, you journey is finished; you have learned the lesson. That's the resistance.

So please forget about this excuse. Otherwise you will continuously think about this excuse -- and that is no the true cause.

Question 2:

There is no way to know more about God. You can know God, but you cannot know more about God. Knowing more about God is not knowing God. Knowing more is knowledge; knowing God is a totally different dimension. Knowing about is knowledge - - you can go on, about and about and about, but you will never reach to God. To know God is totally different than knowing about God.

You can know much about love without knowing love at all. You can go to the libraries and you can consult the encyclopedias and you can collect all knowledge possible about love -- but if love has not happened to you, if that fire has not happened to you, you will not know what love is. You can collect all the stories about love -- Laila and Majnu, Shiri and Farhad -- you can collect stories about all the lovers of the world; that too won't help.

Love has to happen to you; you have to fall into love. You have to take the risk, you have to gamble -- only then will you know.

You say, "I wish I could know more about God." So, first thing: knowing more will not be of much help. That's how a person becomes a pundit, a scholar-knowledge. I am not here to help you become more knowledgeable; you already have too much knowledge. I am here to destroy your knowledge, to take it away from you. You have to learn how to unlearn.

And then you say, "I wish." Wish is a very very weak thing. Just by wishing, nobody can move towards God. More urgency, more deep desire is needed... desire which becomes a flame in you. Hunger is needed; wishing won't help. Thirst is needed... as if you are lost in the Sahara desert, and for miles all around just sand and sand and the burning sun, and not a drop of water with you and you cannot see any greenery anywhere, and you are thirsty, and your whole being is at stake -- any moment you can die -- and the thirst goes on and on and you become a flame... in that thirst, God is possible.

Become thirsty. Wishing is not enough; wishing is too weak. I have heard...

A hungry-looking tramp stopped at a farmhouse and asked for some food. The housewife brought him some and he sat on the back step enjoying all she had set before him.

As he sat there, a little red hen dashed by, being chased by a rooster. The tramp threw the rooster a piece of his bread. It stopped dead in its tracks and greedily swallowed the bread whole.

"Gee!" said the tramp. "I hope I'll never be that hungry."

You have to be tremendously hungry. It is not just a curiosity. God cannot be an object of your wish. God is not a wish-fulfillment, God is not your dream. God has to go like a flame into your guts. When you start feeling that nothing else matters, when God is the first priority and you are ready to sacrifice everything. When God becomes such an absorbing, urgent desire that even life is not meaningful any more without God-only then.

And then there is no need for anybody to help you, your desire will do the work.

In that urgent thirst, in that intensity, all that is darkness in you disappears. In that flame, all that is useless burns down. You come out as pure gold.

God is your reality as much as it is my reality. God is as much your reality as it was Jesus Christ's or Gautam Buddha's. The difference is, you have not yet been able to sort out the chaff from the wheat; the wheat is in you, but too much chaff is there. In a tremendous desire to know, to be, the chaff burns down -- and there is no other way.

When you go to a master, he in fact does not help you to reach to God, he helps you to become more and more thirsty. He helps you to become more and more intensely hungry.

He gives you thirst and hunger; he gives you a mad passion for the impossible.

One man came to Buddha and asked, "If I come and follow you, will I be able to know truth?" Buddha said: That is not certain. I cannot guarantee. I can guarantee only one thing, that I will make you more and more thirsty. Then everything depends on you. I can transfer my thirst to you and if you are ready to allow that much thirst... because it is painful. The journey is painful; all growth is painful. If you allow me to create that much pain in you, that very pain will purify. Pain is a purifying process.

So never ask about God as if it is your wish, and never ask that you would like to know more. God either is known or not known -- more or less is not the question. You cannot divide God -- "I know a little bit and somebody else knows a little more, and somebody almost half, and somebody a hundred percent." God cannot be divided; either you know, or you don't know. And the knowledge of God is not like any other knowledge. It is not like scientific knowledge, that you can go on knowing more and more and more, never ending, the procession continues. It is not a knowledge from the outside. The knowledge of God is not like knowledge, it is more like love. You disappear in your beloved -- that is the only way to know. And the more you disappear in your beloved, the more you know that "I don't know."

The greatest knowers of God always say they don't know. They are like drops in the ocean -- they have fallen into the ocean and disappeared, and the ocean has fallen into them and disappeared. Now, who is the knower and how is the known?

Kabir has said: I was searching and searching and searching, and then I got lost, and then happened the miracle of miracles. When I was not there you were standing before me.

And when I was there and searching and searching, you were so far away -- not even a glimpse. And now, look... I have disappeared. Searching, searching, I got lost, completely lost; my whole search absorbed me, destroyed me completely. Now I am no more... and my Lord, you are standing before me.

Kabir has said that the seeker never reaches to the sought. Man never confronts God -- because unless you disappear he cannot appear, so there is no meeting-point. When you are, he is not; when he is, you are not -- so how can you claim that "I know?" You are not -- only then, he is. When the knower disappears, the knowledge appears; it cannot be just a wish-fulfillment.

I can help you to become a flame -- thirsty, hungry, burning; I can give you the pain.

Then everything else depends on you -- how much you go into that pain, into that fire.

You can take a jump, and God can happen in a sudden moment. There is no need to wait, there is no need to postpone. This very moment it can happen... if you are ready to go into that pain totally.

Question 3:

That must be because you grew up in an unreligious home. Religious homes destroy religion forever. Religious homes are the most unreligious places on the earth. What do I mean when I say this? If you are born in a religious Christian home, they will go on forcing you to bow down to Jesus, they will go on forcing you to become a Christian.

they will condition you. They will not listen to your desire, and they will not bother about your freedom; they will condition you to be a Christian. And of course, the innermost spirit rebels against all sorts of bondages. Christianity is a bondage, so is Hinduism, so is Islam, and all so-called religions. When a child is forced to become a Hindu or a Christian or a Mohammedan, the innermost being rebels. He resists. And when something is forced on you, howsoever beautiful it is, it becomes ugly.

God has to be searched in freedom -- not through any conditioning. The world is so unreligious because of these religions, because of these religious people. They go on conditioning people; they destroy the very urge.

Just think of it: you go into the garden, you watch the trees, you look at the flowers and you are very happy. But if it is forced on you, and a policeman follows you with a bayonet and says, "Look at the rose and enjoy!" what will happen? The rose will be the same, but how can you enjoy when a man is standing behind you and ordering you to enjoy?

When you are forced to go to the Sunday-school and you wanted to go somewhere else -- to the zoo, or you wanted to go fishing, or you wanted to play, and all the children of the neighborhood were playing, but you are a Christian so you have to go to the church... and the child is sitting there in bondage -- listening yet not listening, ready to escape any moment, waiting for when this nonsense is over. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.... Jesus becomes a swear word; it loses all meaning. And then it is very difficult later on to dis-cover the meaning.

You are fortunate that you were born and grew up in a totally unreligious home. In a better world, every child should be allowed to grow without any religious teaching.

Love your children, but never give your ideologies. Love your children, let them feel that Jesus has done something for you, or Mohammed has done something for you, Or Mahavira -- let them feel, but don't force. Let them grow in freedom. Let them see when you pray, let them see your tears rolling down on the cheeks and the beauty of it. Let them see when you bow down to Jesus, let them watch... and children are very very watchful, very sensitive -- if things are not forced on them, they will move on their own.

When they see you crying beautiful tears, when they see you bowing down before Jesus and they feel the vibe... suddenly everything has become quiet, suddenly the father is no more the father and the mother is no more the mother, suddenly they have become luminous beings... he will also start bowing down. Maybe in secret when you are not watching, he will go and he will also bow down. He would like to know what happens when one bows down to Jesus or Buddha, when one prays. Let them catch it -- don't teach it, don't force it. Everything becomes ugly when forced.

Freedom is the basic thing. Consciousness grows in freedom and starts dying, becomes paralyzed and crippled, when things are forced. And up to now, this has been done. This is the greatest crime that parents have always committed against children. They go on forcing the child -- they are afraid, they don't trust their own prayer.

When I was a child, I used to go with my father to his temple. In the beginning, he would tell me to do this and that. I told him, "If you tell me, I will do -- but from the very beginning, I will be against it. So please, don't enforce. Let me come, let me watch. If I feel something has happened to you, that will be the decisive factor." And he is a simple man. He allowed me. He said, "That's right." And he would go and pray, and I would simply sit and watch. Prayer, meditating, I would see how he changes, how his face suddenly goes through a transformation, how his face becomes luminous, how silent and graceful he becomes. That became an enquiry... one has to know these spaces too. Then the child is enchanted. Then a great desire arises in him to know what it is, what it is all about.

Good, that you were brought up in an unreligious home. That may be the cause that whenever I mention the name of Jesus you cry and something deep inside you is moved.

Good -- because you are not a Christian, Christ can still mean something to you. And because you are not a Christian, soon you will see that Buddha also is meaningful, and so is Patanjali and so is Kabir and so is Nanak. When one is not conditioned, one remains available to all the sources, to all the great masters.

One should claim the whole heritage of humanity as one's own -- we are unnecessarily poor. Somebody says, "I am Christian." He is saying, "I claim only Jesus. I don't claim Buddha, I don't claim Zarathustra, I don't claim Lao Tzu." How poor a man! The whole humanity, the whole history of man, is yours. Jesus is as much yours as Lao Tzu, as Buddha, as Mohammed. They are all yours: claim them all together, that is your heritage.

But that is possible only if you are not conditioned to be a Christian, Hindu, Mohammedan.

Good, you are fortunate that Jesus can still have some meaning to you. This is my whole effort here -- to uncondition you. If you are a Christian, I want you to become unconditioned. Drop your Christianity, drop your Hinduism, drop your Jainism. And paradoxical it may look to you, but try to understand: if you drop Christianity, you may be able to have a love with Christ again. If you drop Hinduism, you may be able to dance again with Krishna; you may start singing the notes that he is still playing on his flute.

Hinduism is standing like a great China Wall -- it does not allow you to reach directly to Krishna. Become unconditioned. Drop all culture, civilization, religion, sects, theologies, philosophies. Just be simple, be a child again.

It is fortunate that you were not born in a religious home, otherwise you would have come in contact with the priests. And to come into contact with the priests is to become irreligious forever, because the priests are the most unreligious people. They pretend -- but pretensions can never be appealing, convincing. You know them; in their life they are as ordinary as anybody. Just in the pulpit, just in the church, they become suddenly very very eloquent about religion. Their life is completely silent; no flicker of consciousness, awareness, no possibility of any gods flowering in them, no fragrance around them, not a single vibe, not a wave... but when they stand on the pulpit in the church, suddenly they start talking about religion. Religion has nothing to do with them; they are as irreligious as anybody else. Pretenders, hypocrites....

I have heard...

A very sick-looking man sat down in the doctor's chair and the doctor looked him over and said, "What's the matter with you?"

He said, "I don't really know. I feel weak, very, very weak, I worry too much, I haven't got any strength, I don't eat well and I can't sleep at nights And moreover, I'm becoming impotent. I look like losing my job too, if I don't try and pull myself together."

"I see," said the doctor. "Tell me, what kind of work do you do?"

"Well, you know those cartoon adverts in the papers -- those things that advertise Scroggs Super-Pep Tonic Wine? Well, I'm the fella who draws them."

This is the type you will find in your priest. He goes on talking about God -- and look into his eyes... not even a shadow of God. Look deep into his being... and he is as far away from God as you are -- maybe even more. Maybe the people who come to the priest believe a little, but the priest is always an unbeliever. He knows; he knows the whole trade and the secret. He knows that there is no God. He cannot say it because he has invested too much in it, he depends on it. Priests are the most unreligious people on the earth, and there is a reason -- because they know; the statue in the temple is just a stone, they know. They have seen rats and mice running over it, and they know that the statue cannot do anything; and they have prayed for you, and they know the prayer reaches nowhere -- but they go on pretending.

If you have come in contact with priests, there is every possibility you may become anti- religious. If you have not come in contact with priests, there is a possibility that someday the desire will arise -- because religion is a natural desire. If not corrupted by priests, everybody is born religious and everybody will find his way somehow. Just like rivers moving, now knowing where, but they reach to the ocean -- everybody will find his way to God if he is not hindered by priests and not prevented by religions. A really religious person will be religion-LESS.

And these priests are really very serious people. They even kill your desire to love, to celebrate; they kill all possibility of being happy. They promise that in heaven you will be happy, but not here; it is not allowed here. In fact, you have to be masochistic here, torture yourself, and then in heaven you will have your reward. Nobody knows about heaven. The real prophets, who are never priests -- a Buddha, a Jesus, a Mahavira -- the real prophets really teach to be delight-full herenow, this very moment; there is no need to postpone. Heaven is here... because heaven is not a geographical place, heaven is your attitude.

I came across a cartoon some years ago that I have never forgotten and over which I still chuckle. Two men are standing on a street corner across from a church. It is obviously Sunday noon and people are pouring out of the church -- cheering, laughing, arms in the air, some even dancing. In the middle of all this, they are carrying out their be-robed preacher on their shoulders. Observing this, one man says to the other, "I wonder what he preached on!" Because such a scene in a church -- people dancing, singing, carrying their priest on their shoulders dancing -- it seems impossible. Dance in a church? People enjoying, delighted, celebrating, in a church? Laughter in a church? -- not known. Right:

observing this, one man says to the other, "I wonder what he preached on!"

In fact, true religion will always create dance in you, true religion will always create a song in you, true religion will create the divine melody in you. True religion is nothing but true happiness.

Fortunate you are that you were born in an irreligious family. Now that Jesus moves you, go wholeheartedly with him. Now that the mentioning of the name of Jesus makes you start crying, cry wholeheartedly. That will be your prayer: that IS prayer. Be really moved... religion is being born in you. This is how religion is always born. Nobody can teach when the right moment comes, when the ripeness comes... suddenly one day you start feeling new urges; new dreams hover around you, new paths open, new doors send their challenges to you, new adventures.

This crying, this moving that is happening within your soul -- allow it, go with it. Don't try to control it -- I am saying this because there is every possibility you may try to control it, because we have been taught to control. Crying? -- control it. Laughter? -- control it. Control everything! And by control, you lose all spontaneity -- and God is spontaneity. If you become spontaneous, you are moving hand in hand with God; by being spontaneous, you are in God. That is the whole teaching of Kabir: SAHAJ SAMADHI BHALI -- be spontaneously in meditation. That's the best meditation.

Now, if Jesus' name moves you, sit silently and let that name move you. Sometimes say silently, JESUS... and then wait. That will become your mantra -- this is the way that a real mantra is born. Nobody can give you a mantra, you have to find it. What appeals?

What moves you? What creates a great impact on your soul? If Jesus, then beautiful.

Sometimes, sitting silently, just repeat "Jesus" and wait... and let the name move deep, deeper into the recess of your being. Let it go to the very core. And allow -- if you start dancing, good; if you start crying, good; if you start laughing, good. whatsoever happens out of it, let it be. Let it be so; don't interfere, don't manipulate. Go with it, and you will have your first glimpses of prayer and meditation and first glimpses of God. The first rays will start penetrating your dark night of the soul.

Question 4:

So what! You must be responsible for it. If you don't want to feel frustrated then there is no need. You must be creating it. Nobody else is responsible; if you feel frustrated, you must be reaping the crop which you go on sowing. But you don't see the relationship. If you expect too much, you will be frustrated. If you don't want to be frustrated, don't expect. Live without expectations and there will be no frustration.

But people go on expecting; they know no ends to their expectation. Then frustration comes in -- frustration is the shadow of expectation. Frustration is never the problem, the problem is with expectation. When you feel frustrated you think that existence is doing something wrong to you. No -- you were asking too much. In fact, ask and you will be frustrated. Any asking is asking too much. Don't ask, be. And then you will be surprised - - whatsoever happens is good; you have no way to judge it.

I used to stay with a rich family in Calcutta. Once I went; the family had come to take me from the airport. The husband was very sad. I enquired, "What is the matter?" He said, "There has been a great loss." Listening to this, his wife started laughing. She said, "Don't bother about what he says. There has been no loss -- in fact, there has been a great profit."

I was puzzled. I said, "You both are here. Please try to explain this riddle to me." The wife said, "There is no riddle. He was expecting ten lakh rupees and he got only five lakh rupees. So he says, 'Five lakh rupees' loss,' and I say, 'You have profited' -- but he won't listen, and he is very said."

When you expect ten lakh rupees and you get five lakhs you feel frustrated. If you are not expecting and you get five lakh rupees you are full of joy, thankfulness, gratitude. Don't expect, and you see your whole life becomes a joy. Expect, and your whole life becomes a hell. Expectation is the cause. If you want to change, never start by the effect, start by the cause. Frustration is the effect. You can go on fighting with frustration -- nothing will happen, you will become more and more frustrated. Start by the cause, always look for the cause. Whenever you are feeling miserable, go into it and find out where the cause is.

and then it is up to you. If you want to drop the effect then avoid the cause; then become aware, more and more aware.

If you are enjoying frustration... because there are many people who enjoy. There are many people who enjoy being miserable. In fact, they cannot tolerate happiness at all.

When they are miserable they are happy, when they are happy they feel very miserable.

You laugh at it, but this is a truth about the majority of people. And again, there are reasons. Whenever you are miserable you gain something: sympathy, attention.

Whenever you are happy nobody shows any sympathy -- in fact, people become jealous.

when you are unhappy everybody is a friend, everybody sympathizes with you -- even your enemy will sympathize with you. When you are happy even your friend will become jealous and inimical.

When you are happy nobody pays any attention to you. People avoid you. In fact, they start thinking you must be mad: Happy? -- who has ever heard of anybody being happy?... must have gone crazy or something, or must be pretending. When you are unhappy they accept you. Then they think everything is okay, because this is how things have to be. And people enjoy your unhappiness, that's why they pay attention -- because whenever you are unhappy they can compare themselves, and deep down they can feel good -- "So I am in a better position. People are so unhappy! -- at least I am not that much unhappy. I am unhappy, but not so much." He can compare. When you are happy, you bring the man down; he becomes unhappy looking at your happiness -- "So you are happy? So you have attained?" He will deny, he will create trouble for you.

This world consists of miserable people, unhappy people. They don't allow any happy person to live or to exist.

I have heard about a man, a great poet; old, sixty years old, and he was in a hospital lying on his bed. Nothing to do, so he was meditating about his life -- that he has lived a miserable life. He has been creating beautiful songs -- but they are not real, they are just compositions. He has a knack of writing poetry -- but those poems have not grown in his soul, they are just intellectual. He has the skill, the technique, but they are not outpourings of his heart.

So he was lying on the bed, nothing to do, was thinking, meditating, and he said, "Now I am sixty and within a few years I will be gone. Why am I wasting my life? Can't I be happy? And then he became aware that there is nothing really to be unhappy about. He has everything -- whatsoever a man needs, he has. He has prestige, respectability, name, money, house, a good wife, children -- he has everything. Why is he unhappy? He started laughing at the whole ridiculousness of it -- "I have nothing to be unhappy about, and I am unhappy. This is foolish!" He started laughing. The nurse heard him; she immediately ran to the doctor. And he saw that the nurse was shocked and she had run out of fear, so he started laughing even more. And then the doctor came and the doctor was shocked and said, "What has gone wrong?" -- so he laughed more.

Immediately he was taken to the mental department. He told me himself, "I was laughing even more there -- 'You people, have you gone mad or something?' And I would tell them that nothing is wrong -- but who listens? They said, 'Everybody says that! Suddenly out of the blue you started laughing.'" Something has gone wrong; his mind is no more sane. When he came to see me and he told me this story, he said, "This is something!

Nobody ever thought I was mad when I was miserable."

It happens to my sannyasins every day. One of my sannyasins wrote a few days before, that he took sannyas, he was very happy, he went dancing from his station to his home -- he went dancing, he was so happy. The whole town gathered together; they said, "He has gone mad." His wife started crying and weeping! and his children, they said, "Poppa, what are you doing?" And looking at this, he started laughing more. He said, "What am I doing? I have become a happy person!" They forced him into the hospital. He telegrammed here: Beloved Master, save me! They are going to give me tranquillizers and electroshock. What am I to do?

Happiness is not allowed. Happiness is something mad. You say, "I feel so frustrated!"

Look into it. If you enjoy it, then there is no problem -- it is your choice. If you enjoy it, then I will tell you this anecdote...

The nervous tourist didn't like standing too near the edge of the cliff on Beachy Head in Sussex.

"What would I do," he said to the guide, "if I fell over?"

"Look to the right in that case," enthused the eager conductor. "You'd love the view."

"Look to the right in that case..." If you are going to fall, you are going to fall! "Look to the right, you'd love the view."

So if you are going into frustration and you love it and you enjoy it, then go into it more alert, aware. And enjoy it! Then don't complain, don't create a contradiction. You love frustration? -- love it! go into it. Become more artistic about it, decorate it a little more; make new possibilities, new doors to become more frustrated... if you enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, then I don't see the problem. Just go deep into it, watch, and you will find some expectation hidden behind. Whenever you expect, you are asking for frustration.

Drop expectations.

The life of a sannyasin should be a life of no expectations. And then every moment is such a bliss, such a benediction, because whatsoever God gives is so much. Then you always feel grateful. But your desires are so much that whatsoever God gives always looks so little; and you feel frustrated, and you feel complaints, and you cannot feel grateful. And without gratitude, there is no possibility of prayer arising in your heart.

Gratitude is prayer.

Question 5:

It is from Amida. First, an anecdote...

A person was frighteningly ugly. Once he was asked how he could go on living with such a terrible face.

"Why should I be unhappy?" answered the man. "I never see my own face. Let others worry."

So Amida, you simply throw your mirrors -- that's all. And this is others' problem, not yours. They will come to me -- "What to do with Amida's faces?" But, one thing: all faces are funny, because deep down you have no face at all. That's why all faces are funny. Nobody is ever satisfied with their face; even the most beautiful people are not satisfied. You may think otherwise, but you don't know. Even Cleopatra was worried that her nose was a little longer than it should be. Marilyn Monroe committed suicide -- a beautiful woman, but not satisfied, not contented. There is something in it. All faces are funny because all faces are false. Deep down, your being is faceless. That's what Zen people call the original face. When a disciple comes to a Zen master, the master says, "Go and meditate upon your original face." And what is the original face? The face that you had before you were born and the face that you will have again when you are dead:

find out that original face. It is not a face at all.

Have you ever thought about it? The shape of your face is given by the body. It can be changed by plastic surgery. And you will not be changed by the change of the face: your nose can be longer, shorter, your eyes can be different, eyebrows can be different -- much can be done now. And you will remain the same. So the face is not your being, it is just the shape of your body. It is not YOUR face. Have you got any face? Sometimes with closed eyes go deep into it... and you will be surprised to see you don't have any face.

God has no face at all -- and you are gods and goddesses.

That's why one is never contented. One can never be contented with this face, howsoever beautiful. This face is not going to satisfy you unless you come to the original face, the facelessness of your being: purity with no shape, the formless, the attributeless. The form is of matter. The form is not of consciousness; consciousness is formless. Your body is a meeting-place of the form and the formless, of matter and consciousness. Your body is a container. The contained is you, and that contained has no face. So always, any face is funny. The very idea of having a face is funny because all faces are false. Face as such is false.

This hunger to be more than we are reminds me of a four-year-old who met an old friend of the family who had not seen the little lad for several years. "Oh, John," said the friend, "I'm surprised at how bit you are!" To which the boy replied, "Oh, but I'm bigger than this!"

"Bigger than this" -- you always have that feeling that you are bigger than this, that you are more beautiful than this, that you are more truthful than this, that you are more eternal than this. And because of this a great problem arises. Everybody looks at your face, and nobody can look deep into your being. And you are aware, a little aware of your being; you don't think you end with your face. You may think you start from there, but that is not the end. But for others that is the end, the terminal point.

You love a woman, and whatsoever you do she will never be satisfied, because she always feels she is bigger than this, more beautiful than you feel her. And the same is true about you -- the woman may love you very much but you know she has not yet known you; just on the periphery. 'I am bigger than this, I am more than this." So no relationship becomes satisfying -- cannot be. It cannot be, in the very nature of things, because you know something which is very great, tremendously great, huge, enormous... and the other knows only the face, the body form. You are reduced to a small thing -- and whatsoever his praise, it never comes to satisfy you. It cannot.

And, every child makes funny faces. Have you watched? Leave him in the bathroom and watch from the keyhole, and he will make funny faces. In fact he is enjoying having a face, trying to manipulate it in many ways, playing with it. And he can play because he is separate. When he is making a funny face, he knows "I am not this funny man. This face is only the face; I am behind it. This is just a mask." And even grown-up people do it in the bathroom. If nobody is watching, everybody is tempted to do a little.... In the mirror, one wants to make funny faces. Nothing wrong in it -- it simply shows that you cannot adjust yourself with the body, that the body is not all, that you are far beyond it, that you can play with the body like a mask. It is a mask.

In fact there are many old meditations which make use of making funny faces. You can make it a meditation -- in Tibet, it is one of the oldest traditions. Keep a big mirror: stand naked, make faces, do funny things -- and watch. Just doing it and watching for fifteen, twenty minutes, you will be surprised. You wills tart feeling you are separate from this. If you are not separate, then how can you do all these things? Then the body is just something in your hand -- you can play with it, this way and that. That's why I always say mimicry, mime, is a spiritual art. And soon we are going to open a small school of mime.

If you can learn how to make faces, if you can act with your body in many ways, you will be suddenly freed from the body; your identity will be broken.

This is my experience. Many people come to me and ask, "Why do so many actors come to you?" My experience is this, that acting is one of the most spiritual professions in e world. Because an actor moves into so many actings -- sometimes he is this, sometimes that -- so many identities that he becomes loose. Then one day he suddenly starts thinking, "Who am I? One day I am Abraham Lincoln, another day I am George Washington, another day I become this and that," and every day he goes on changing. In one film he is one, in another film he is another. Sometimes he is a saint, and sometimes he is a sinner. Only then can he be a perfect actor.

You can ask Veeten, Veeten is here. You can ask Vijay Anand, Vinod -- they are my sannyasins. By and by he comes to know, a good actor comes to know, that all are acts.

"Then who am I?" In ordinary life you are identified with one thing: you are a doctor, so you are a doctor -- morning, evening, night, you are a doctor; for thirty, forty years, you are a doctor -- you become fixed with the identity, with the role. It is a role too -- but you never change, so you become fixed. You forget; the role becomes your being. When a person has to change many roles, he becomes loose. by and by the question arises: Who am I? All these are roles -- then who am I? who is this man who some day becomes a sinner and some day becomes a saint? And some day plays the role of a murderer, and some day becomes a great lover? Who is this man? Who is this being behind all these actings?

To me, acting is one of the most spiritual professions. And if you take life as an acting, you will start moving towards spirituality. Take life as an acting, you will start moving towards spirituality. Take life as acting, a great drama. The world is a vast stage. You are a mother -- that is only one role. You are a father -- that is only one role. You are a businessman -- another role. You are a brother to somebody -- another role. You are a son, husband -- another role... a thousand and one roles if you watch. And you go on changing your faces. When your servant comes to see you, you have a different face.

When your boos comes to see you, you have a different face. Watch it, become a little more alert, and you will see you have a thousand and one faces, continuously changing. It is automatic. You need not do anything -- they change automatically. You have become very skillful. Once you understand this, you start moving inwards where there is no face at all.

Amida, good. You make it a meditation. You start doing this meditation every day for twenty minutes. Find out new ways to make funny faces, funny postures -- do whatsoever you can do. And it will give you a great release; and you wills tart looking at yourself not as the body, not as the face, but as the consciousness. It will be helpful.

Question 6:

Enlightenment is not an object to be desired, it is not a goal to be achieved. And you will become enlightened only when you have forgotten all about it -- otherwise, never. And it is not a question to be asked. Even if I say you have become enlightened, that won't help.

The very question shows that you are still desiring. Enlightenment has become your greed. You may have been desiring other things before -- money, respectability, power, prestige; now you are desiring enlightenment. The desire has moved to a different object, but it has not changed. The desire is still the same and desire is the problem.

To desire anything is to remain unenlightened.

Let me tell you one anecdote...

The doctor slapped the asylum patient on the back and said, "Well, old man, you're completely cured. Run along and write to your family and tell them you'll be back home in a couple of weeks, as good as new."

He went off to write his letter. When he was licking the stamp, it slipped through his fingers and fell onto the back of a cockroach which happened to be passing at the time.

Amazed, the patient watched the stamp zig-zagging across the floor, up the wall and right around the skirting-board and then under the door. After a while he tore up the letter.

"Two weeks!" he said. "Hell!" I won't be out of here for two lives."

That stamp is your desire, and if you look behind the desire you will find the cockroach of your ego. And if you don't look behind the stamp at the cockroach, even two lives won't help -- you will remain unenlightened. Enlightenment is not something that you have to achieve. It is your nature; you have just to remember it. Look into your games of the ego -- subtle are those games. Just watch. Nothing is to be done, just see how ego goes on creating ambitions. And once you have seen all the ways of the ego the cockroach dies, the ego disappears, and you are there -- as enlightened as you have always been.

Enlightenment is your nature. It is not something to be achieved, it is already the case.

Question 7:

What is my task here?

Once upon a time, there was a frog. But he really wasn't a frog, he was a prince who looked and felt like a frog. A wicked witch had cast a spell on him: only the kiss of a beautiful maiden could save him. But since when do cute chicks kiss frogs? So there he sat, unkissed prince in frog form. But miracles happen. One day a beautiful maiden grabbed him and gave him a big smack. Crash! Boom! Zap! There he was, a handsome prince. And you know the rest: they lived happily ever after.

So what is my task here? To kiss frogs, of course.

The Divine Melody