The first question
OSHO: I WAS BROUGHT UP IN A MORAL AND RELIGIOUS HINDU FAMILY, HENCE I AM VERY MUCH DISTURBED BY YOUR SANNYASINS' BEHAVIOR.
CAN'T YOU GIVE THEM SOME KIND OF MORAL DISCIPLINE?
Pratap Chandra Joshi,
IT IS YOUR PROBLEM, not THEIR problem! You are suffering from a moral discipline, you want my sannyasins also to suffer. You are disturbed so you have to be cured. THEY are not disturbed!
But it always happens that you can see your own projections upon others' screens, but you can't see that they are YOUR projections. Your religious and moral upbringing has been utterly wrong. If it had been true, nothing would disturb you, nothing at all; you would remain calm and quiet, centered, grounded.
It is none of your business what others are doing! They are not doing it to you, they are not interfering with you - who are you to decide how they should behave? Is it not a very undemocratic attitude?
You want them to behave according to YOUR mind, but WHY should they behave according to you?
Who are you? You are free to do YOUR thing, they are free to do their own thing. They are not disturbed by your moral and religious upbringing. They are not asking me, "Osho, give this Pratap Chandra Joshi some discipline so he behaves like WE behave."
The very desire that others should behave according to YOUR ideology, according to YOUR conceptions, according to your conclusions, is despotic - it is fascist. You are neither moral nor religious, you are simply a fascist!
And remember, morality has nothing to do with religion. Religion, of course, has much to do with morality, but not vice versa. Morality is a poor substitute for true religion; it is a plastic substitute for the real thing. It gives you a facade but not a new being. It does not change your center, your consciousness; it only paints your face. It is a mask. You can hide behind it and you can hide all kinds of repressed desires, longings, ambitions behind it. And whenever you see others behaving naturally, which YOUR morality does not allow you, you will feel disturbed. The disturbance is coming from you, not from them.
The puritan people of Teeling express all their horror with feeling.
When they see that a chair has all its legs bare they look away straight to the ceiling.
Now, do you think chairs should be given some moral discipline, that their legs should be covered?
They used to be covered in Victoria's days. In England it was very improper to leave your chairs' legs uncovered! But it simply shows a decadent society, a basically irreligious society.
OSHO REMOVES A GREETING CARD FROM HIS CLIPBOARD. ON THE CARD IS DRAWN THE CARTOON FIGURE OF A WOMAN WITH TWO HOLES PUNCHED THROUGH THE CARD WHERE HER BREASTS SHOULD BE. OSHO PLACES TWO OF HIS FINGERTIPS THROUGH THE HOLES, THUS GIVING THE VISUAL IMPRESSION THAT HER BARE BREASTS ARE SHOWING. HE THEN PLACES THE CARD UP IN FRONT OF HIM SO EVERYONE CAN SEE.
THE HALL EXPLODES IN LAUGHTER.
Pratap Chandra Joshi, wake up and look at this picture... What can you see? Get disturbed! And it is nothing... just two holes! But you must have got disturbed, very much disturbed - and it was nothing but my two fingers! Don't be so foolish!
People go on seeing things... just now you have seen 'things' which are not there!
A mother and her daughter were in the kitchen when the mother noticed that little Mary was drawing a big prick. "Where have you seen that?" asked the mother, surprised.
"In your hands, Mummy!" replied little Mary innocently.
The mother hit the little girl and said angrily, "In my hands, hmm? You just wait till your father gets home!"
When the father got home he asked little Mary, 'What did you draw that your mother has become so angry with you?"
"A pair of scissors, Dad," replied Mary sweetly.
Poor Mary, innocent Mary was just drawing a pair of scissors! Children are children - their drawings are not so accurate. But the mother read something else into it. And of course she had seen the scissors in her mother's hands - she was absolutely right.
That's what is happening to you....
A man was dining out with his priest and they went to an Italian restaurant. As they were looking over the menu, the man said to the priest, "How do you pronounce that Italian dish that you are so wild about?"
Without looking up from the menu the priest said, "Gina Lollobrigida!"
It is YOUR unconscious that crops up in moments when there is a certain situation - and here the situation is available. My people live out of freedom - that's my only discipline. They are not slaves to any moral code. They are religious people and you are not religious at all, whatsoever your so-called Hindu, moral and religious upbringing. You are not religious at all; you are simply carrying ideas implanted by others in your head. You may have a conscience, but you don't have a consciousness. A conscience is a creation by others and a consciousness is a discovery by oneself.
My sannyasins are making every possible effort to throw out all the rubbish that their parents, priests and politicians have imposed upon them. That is part of the discipline of freedom: you have to become unconditioned.
Naturally, when conditioned people come they get very much disturbed. Perhaps in their disturbance there is some element of jealousy too - that they have not been so free in their lives. "How do these people dare? They should be prevented immediately! If we have been slaves, then everybody should be a slave!"
But the very desire that others should be disciplined is inhuman, ugly, violent, destructive, animalistic. What does it have to do with religion? Moralistic certainly it is, but morality is of no value at all. Morality simply means others have been telling you what should be done, what should not be done, and you have not been able to rebel against these impositions. They have been telling you, "If you do this, then you will have respectability, then you will have all the pleasures of heaven."
You are greedy and they are exploiting your greed.
They say, "If you don't follow us then you will fall into hell, hellfire, and for eternity." And they depict the tortures of hell so colorfully that it shows only one thing: that they have BEEN to hell - nothing else; they have LIVED there. Their description is so realistic. Just look into your so-called religious scriptures: hell is described in such detail that these so-called saints who are writing these scriptures must have been dwellers in hell and must have lived there really long enough to know all the details - with such minuteness, with such mathematical accuracy. They exploit your fear, they exploit your greed, and your religion or your morality is nothing but hidden greed and fear.
MY religion has nothing to do with greed and fear; it is an adventure, a discovery of one's own true self. And once you have discovered your consciousness, you act in a totally different way. Then your actions have beauty; that beauty I call real morality. But that may fit with the conclusions of others, may not fit. The greater possibility is that it is not going to fit, because what others are telling you is in THEIR interest; it is part of their vested interest. They are trying to make you a slave so that you can serve THEIR purposes.
And when you discover yourself you become a master. You don't serve anybody else's purposes, you start living on your own. Every possibility is that your actions may be condemned, that you may be called immoral.
I am called immoral for the simple reason that I don't support the stupid morality that exists in India.
It is just part of the establishment, it is part of the dead past; to carry it is simply to carry a corpse.
And then if you are simply following rules and regulations given by others, what will you do to your own desires, instincts, longings? You will repress them and they will come up in some way or other.
The boy was dating his schoolteacher. They had dinner, went to a dance, and on the way home he parked his car. She didn't think too much of that, but after quite a bit of conversation and petting she agreed. They had some fun.
Later she said, "You know, I'm worried."
"What's wrong?" asked the lad.
"I am wondering how I am going to face my class tomorrow with a clear conscience, knowing that I have sinned twice."
"You've only sinned once!" said the boy.
"I know, but you're going to do it again, aren't you?"
Pratap Chandra Joshi, be a little more aware, be a little more conscious. You must be carrying thousands of snakes and scorpions of repressed desire, of crippled instinct within you, and they are all struggling to come to the conscious; they all want to come out. You go on repressing them, but this is not a real way to live. You will live a phony life - a Hindu life, but not a life!
There are many lives available - the Mohammedan life, the Christian life, the Hindu life, the Jaina life. I teach LIFE only, without any adjective, because I have seen it in my own self and I have seen it in thousands of sannyasins, that unless one starts living LIFE ITSELF one remains phony. Your shyness, your polishedness, your gentlemanliness, is nothing but a cover-up.
A very shy, moralistic, young British gentleman is confiding the difficulties he is having with his romantic life to a fellow public-schoolfriend. "Each day when I go horseback riding in Hyde Park I see this gorgeous damsel also going for her morning ride. She is absolutely beautiful and I am head-over-heels in love with her!"
His more experienced friend is not at a loss. "This is what you have to do. Tonight you paint your horse green, then tomorrow morning when you go for a ride and see her, she will be bound to say something about your horse and so introductions will have been made. Then after a month you can invite her for a drink, then after two months you can invite her for dinner. Then after three months you can invite her down for the weekend to your country cottage and show her your collection of silver snuffboxes. And then after a year she is bound to be yours!"
The shy gentleman excitedly rushes off and paints his poor horse green. The next morning on his ride he meets the lady, and sure enough, she can't help asking, "I say, why have you painted your horse green?"
Completely flummoxed, his face all red, the shy young gentleman manages to stammer, "Well... my dear... it's... it's because I want to fuck YOU!"
The second question
OSHO: THE MANDUKYA UPANISHAD SAYS - ABOVE ALL, IT SHOULD BE KNOWN. AND JESUS ALSO SAYS:>
SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD.
THEN HOW DID THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH RIGHT DOWN TO MOTHER TERESA CHANGE ITS MEANING TO: SERVE YE FIRST THE SUFFERING HUMANITY AND THE KINGDOM OF GOD SHALL BE YOURS?
A GERMAN GENTLEMAN, MR. RHEINER, WHILE SPEAKING TO ME VIOLENTLY ACCUSED THE RAJNEESH ASHRAM OF BEING A BIG MONEY-MAKING RACKET AND SAID THAT IT SHOULD CARE MORE FOR THE POOR AND THAT IT SHOULD SERVE THE DOWNTRODDEN.
OSHO, HOW IS IT THAT EVEN PEOPLE FROM THE AFFLUENT WEST CONTINUE TO MISUNDERSTAND YOU?
I AM NOT AGAINST MONEY - I am against money-mindedness! I am not against possessions, I am against possessiveness. And these are two totally different dimensions, diametrically opposite to each other.
To be against money is stupid. Money is a beautiful means - a means of exchange. Without money there cannot be an evolved culture, society or civilization.
Just imagine that money has disappeared from the world. Then all that is comfortable, all that is giving you convenience will disappear with it. People will be reduced to utter poverty. Money has done a tremendous work; one has to appreciate it.
Hence I am not against money, but I am certainly against money-mindedness - and people don't make the distinction. The whole human past has lived in confusion.
Renounce money-mindedness, but there is no need to renounce money. Money has to be created, wealth has to be created. Without wealth all science will disappear, all technology will disappear, all the great achievements of man will disappear. Man will not be able to reach the moon, man will not be able to fly. Without money life will become very dumb, just as without language all art, all literature, all poetry, all music will disappear. Just as language helps you to exchange thoughts, to communicate, so money helps you to exchange things; it is also a form of communication.
But money-minded people cling to money; they destroy its whole purpose. Its purpose is to go on moving from one hand to another hand. That's why it is called 'currency': it has to remain like a current, moving. The more it moves the better, the richer the society becomes.
If I have only one rupee and it goes on moving and it moves to five thousand sannyasins, then one rupee becomes five thousand rupees. The more it moves, the more money is created. It has functioned as if there were five thousand rupees - just ONE rupee! But the moneyminded person grabs it; he stops its being a currency. He holds it, he clings to it, he does not use it.
We certainly create wealth, and this is only a beginning; it is not yet a money-making racket. Just wait... it will be! We are going to make as much money as possible, because I am not against money. But we use it, that's the point; we are not hoarding it. And the more we have the more we will be using; it will become more of a currency.
One of the reasons India is poor is because people are hoarders. And they are hoarding with beautiful rationalizations: they call it 'simplicity of living.' Sheer nonsense! If you have to live simply then give the money to somebody else who wants to live richly! Why are you hoarding it? Live simply, perfectly okay. It is your life; if you want to live simply, LIVE simply - but why are you hoarding money? Then give it to people who can USE it! But money should be used; it should be allowed to move as fast as possible.
Just wait a little! Tell Mr. Rheiner that once my commune is established you will see how wealth can be created and how wealth can be used, because I am not a one-sided person. I am neither for the inner nor for the outer, I am for both together. One has to be rich inside and one has to be rich outside too. Richness is beautiful; outer richness is beautiful just as inner richness is beautiful.
Nothing is wrong in creating money.
We are not begging, we are creating, and we will never beg. When we can create, why beg for it?
We have never asked anybody to give money to us.
Tell Mr. Rheiner he must be a greedy person, and a money-minded person. When the money- minded person comes here he sees only his own mind. This is a mirror! You will find it always: your face mirrored in thousands of ways.
But this has been the whole past. Mahavira renounced money, Buddha renounced money. I am AGAINST it - I am far more in favor of a man like Janaka who lived like an emperor and yet became enlightened. I am far more in favor of Krishna who lived the life of an emperor and yet was enlightened. These people are far more balanced.
Renouncing money simply shows one thing: that there is some fear in you. You are afraid that if you don't renounce you will cling. I am not afraid! And if you ask me... I don't have any money, not at all - not a single PAISE. I am just a guest in the commune, and of course you treat me like a guest - that's perfectly right: a guest should be treated as a guest - you are my hosts. But I don't have anything. That does not mean that I have to live like a beggar - that much intelligence I have! I need not live like a beggar; without having money I can live like an emperor. Is not that proof enough of enlightenment? I don't earn, I don't do a thing, I never leave my room. I can't even count money properly - you know my counting. After the first question comes the third, after the third comes the second....
For years I have not seen money; I have not touched notes for at least twenty years. I have not touched any - not that I am against touching them, but notes are so dirty, particularly Indian notes - so dirty, that even when I used to travel I had somebody to accompany me, because who would touch those notes? So many hands have touched them and made them so dirty. They must be carrying all kinds of diseases!
And for ten years I have not even seen any, because no money comes into my room and I don't go anywhere. Unless the money walks into my room... but the guards are there, they won't allow!
But I am not against money. My commune has to be the richest commune that has ever existed on the earth. In fact, in the past many communes have come into existence and died because of this stupid idea that you should not create wealth. Then how can you exist?
Now, fifteen hundred sannyasins are working in the commune - how can they exist? They need food, they need clothes, they need shelter, they need medicines, they need everything. From where is it going to come? We HAVE to create wealth. And this is just on an experimental basis, so that I can prepare you before the new commune happens, because in the new commune there will be at least ten thousand sannyasins living together.
ALL communes in the past have died. The longest a commune has ever lived has a fixed limit, three years - from three months to three years, that has been the minimum and the maximum life of a commune for the simple reason that if you insist on poverty, sooner or later you have to disperse.
This commune is going to live - and the only way for it to live is by being rich.
But these people who talk about serving the poor, Ajit Saraswati, who is preventing them? Why don't THEY go and serve the poor? Tell Mr. Rheiner I am not preventing him. He can go with all my blessings and serve the poor!
I receive hundreds of letters asking: "Why don't you serve the poor?" If there were so many people serving the poor, then you would not miss me - just one person not serving. But all these people want ME to serve the poor! Follow your own idea, do your own thing - I am doing my own thing.
I am not telling you to do anything, I am not writing letters to anybody saying, "You should do this, you should not do that." Why are these people trying to impose their ideas upon anybody? I will not prevent them, that much is certain. You can go - there are many poor people - and serve them.
What was Mr. Rheiner doing here? Wasting time! There are so many poor people; even in Poona you can find beggars. Go and serve them! Massage their feet... do whatsoever you want to do.
Why do people go on writing to me as if I have made all these people poor, as if I am responsible?
THEY are responsible! And the same people who are responsible for making this world poor go on insisting that I should serve them. You make them poor and I should serve them - a beautiful arrangement! I was poor, nobody came to serve me, so why should I bother?
I have my own approach to things: I am NOT here to serve the poor, I am here to destroy the poor completely. I have my own plans to do it, in my own way. I am not going to listen to such stupid Germans! In fact just to say 'a German' is enough, but you may not understand - that's why I am saying 'stupid German'. Otherwise who has ever heard of a German being anything else?
I have my own plans to do things in my way, but if the poor insist on being poor then I cannot do anything. For example, I would like compulsory birth control methods to be used. If they don't want to be poor they have to listen to it; if they want to be poor then that is THEIR decision, then I am not responsible.
Poverty can be destroyed within fifteen years - I am ready to take the challenge. Poverty can be destroyed within only fifteen years - the poverty of this country can be completely destroyed. But there is a difficulty: then what will your Christian missionaries, Mother Teresa, etcetera, do? They NEED the poor - the poor are absolutely needed - otherwise what will happen to the Nobel Prize, to Mother Teresa? If there are no poor people, whom are you going to serve? They need orphans, they need poor people, they need sick people....
I can destroy this whole structure - simple methods are needed. And these fools have been serving humanity for at least ten thousand years - what is the result? Has poverty disappeared? Only the fruit shows what the life of the tree has been.
This idea of serving the poor is not new - it is not Mr. Rheiner's invention. For ten thousand years at least religions have been saying, "Serve the poor," and they have BEEN serving the poor, but what has happened out of it?
I want to cut the very root! The first thing is: the population of all poor countries has to be reduced.
America will be as poor as India if the same population is allowed. Any country will be poor if so many people are there, because the earth has a limitation; all our capacities to exist on the earth are limited. You go on producing children and you don't listen at all.
People are against me because they say I am teaching birth control. Their morality is at risk - because if people use birth control methods, then certainly THEIR kind of morality will be at risk.
Then their wife can have some love affair. Right now she cannot have any love affair out of the fear she may get pregnant; it is just fear that is preventing her. Their daughter may start having relationships before marriage. So these are the fears! But if these are the fears then you are responsible for your poverty, I am not responsible.
I am in favor of pre-marital relationships, I am in favor of all the latest methods of birth control, I am also in favor of extra-marital relationships. That will change the whole structure, but your poverty will go and with it will go your morality.
And I am continuously hammering on your morality for the simple reason that they are both joined together; it is a conspiracy of morality and poverty. Your morality has to be destroyed, only then will your poverty go.
It is very simple: bring more technology. Rather than opening orphanages bring more technology, bring more industry. That's what I am going to do - and that is called a 'money-making racket'!
In my commune everything of the latest has to be used so we can produce MORE! A machine can produce more than one thousand men or ten thousand men - then why use men? Men can be freed from labor. For the first time in the history of man, man can be more playful, can enjoy life more as fun, because the machine can do the work. But these 'workoholics', these people who are too much obsessed with the idea of work, won't allow machines to take their place. They are afraid. And they are far more dangerous than alcoholics - workoholics are more dangerous - because they are preventing machines and technology.
Mahatma Gandhi was a workoholic. He was against all technology, afraid that if man was free then life would become fun. And these so-called saints are against fun. Life should remain serious, it should not become fun. Life should be burdened with seriousness. If life becomes fun and people start enjoying it, who will bother about heaven? - because in heaven this is the only thing available:
you will not have to work, you will only be enjoying. Have you heard about any work being done in heaven? The angels just simply go on playing on their harps, "Alleluia! Alleluia!..." day in, day out.
But that can be done HERE, right NOW! We are doing it! This can happen on the earth - but if this can happen on the earth, then who will bother about heaven and who will bother about the priests who show you the way to heaven? And who will bother about these so-called virtues through which you EARN entry into heaven?
So all the religions need poverty. On the one hand they need poverty - all the establishments, the church, the state, they need poverty - and on the other hand they go on saying, "Serve the poor." Why do they say, "Serve the poor"? Just to keep the poor people consoled so they don't get rebellious, so they don't revolt against the whole structure. So go on throwing a few pieces to them, dregs, just a few pieces to keep them consoled. Go on giving them hope.
That's what Jesus did when he called the poor 'the children of God', when he said, "The last will be the first in my kingdom of God." Consoling the poor! That is just poisoning their minds.
I am not at all in any conspiracy with the establishment so I am not going to serve the poor. The people who have made them poor, they should serve them! I am totally ready to destroy poverty. I have no respect for poverty, I don't see any spirituality in poverty. It is ugly, it is inhuman. It is like cancer: it has to be uprooted, root and all. It has to be burnt - and it can be done.
I am ready to accept the challenge, but they don't even want me to have a commune because they are afraid that my commune will show the whole country the whole world, that people can live in richness herenow, in TOTAL richness, both inner and outer, and that there is no need to be poor. And once my commune is there it will be an example, a model, and then we can start having communes in other countries. Already seeds have started spreading. Then we can spread the communes to all kinds of people, all cultures, all societies, and slowly slowly the whole earth can be transformed.
And I can do it quickly too, but it is not going to happen through serving the poor. Then the government will have to listen to me - I am ready to guide. I am not interested in politics so I don't want any power for myself. The government has to listen to me.
A fifteen-year plan... and I am ready to accept the challenge. All poverty can be destroyed, but with the poverty your Mother Teresa will go down the drain too!
The third question
OSHO: EVERY TIME I COME TO YOUR LECTURES, MY EARS GO UPRIGHT, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TELL A JOKE.
OFTEN I DON'T GET ALL THE WORDS AND I MISS IT.
I THEN HOPE YOU WILL TELL IT AGAIN, BUT YOU DON'T.
I THEN TRY TO GET THE NEXT JOKE, BUT I MISS THEM AGAIN AND AGAIN.
THEN I REALIZE THE WHOLE HAPPENING HERE IS ONE BIG JOKE - AND I MISS IT!
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
Henk van Hall,
YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE A GERMAN, but some German blood must be in you!
It happened here: one Italian sannyasin needed a blood transfusion, and obviously the first person to jump ahead who was ready to donate the blood was a German. Now the Italian sannyasin is perfectly healthy, more healthy than ever before, very strong - German-strong! - but one problem has arisen: now she cannot understand jokes.
So either you or your parents or your parents' parents... some German blood transfusion has happened! By your name you appear to be Dutch.... Germans do miss the jokes - that's perfectly okay - but the Dutch are not allowed to miss the joke!
But I will tell a joke for you, very very slowly....
A group of soldiers... get it? A group of soldiers were preparing for a parachute jump... Okay? The instructor opened the door of the plane and advised his troops for the last time, "Now remember, men, be sure to count to ten before opening your parachutes."
All of the men followed the instructions properly and were floating down towards the ground when, all of a sudden, one of the soldiers came whooshing past them, hurtling downwards, his parachute unopened.
"Oh, my God!" exclaimed one of the men, looking down. "There goes the new recruit - the one who stutters!"
Henk van Hall, do you stutter? - maybe not in speaking, but in thinking?
But one thing you have found perfectly rightly: that the whole happening here is one big joke!
... AND I MISS IT.
No, you have not missed it - that thing you have got completely right! It is a big joke because to me life is laughter, to me life is fun. It is not seriousness, it is not sadness. It is joy, it is cheerfulness, it is playfulness. There you have got the point perfectly. So there is nothing to be worried about if you have missed all other jokes - the REAL joke you have got!
A very very handsome man and his friend Peter went to the best nightclub in Paris. They sat at the best table and drank the finest imported wine. When the cabaret had finished, the handsome young man asked Peter to invite the most beautiful dancing girl to join them at their table. The girl approached them excitedly, her eyes sparkling, and sat down.
"Peter," said the Apollo-like man, "invite her to my suite!"
They left the nightclub, got into the Rolls Royce, and Peter drove them to the most expensive hotel in town. Peter left them in the suite and went away.
The next morning when the girl was leaving the room she met Peter in the hall and he asked, "How did you like it? Did you have a good night?"
"Oh, Peter," sighed the girl, "it was the most beautiful night of my life! Your friend is a god!"
Peter left her in a hurry and went inside the room "Let's go back, Jesus," he said agitatedly. "I think she has discovered who we are!"
You HAVE discovered, so forget all about the jokes!
The fourth question
I HAVE A ONE-DAY STOPOVER IN POLAND TOMORROW. DOES POLAND REALLY EXIST OR IS IT JUST A JOKE?
THAT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL and exciting - I would like to come with you! Poland is the only place I have a desire to visit. You are really fortunate that you are flying there, particularly because I have heard:
They are building a big new second airport north of Warsaw. To make matters simple, all arrivals will be at the new northern airport and all departures will be at the old southern airport.
It is not a joke - it really exists!
A Polish woman wearing only a shirt and underpants addressed the man in the lost-and-found:
"Have you seen a red skirt with three kids holding onto it?"
A Polack drunkard fell into a puddle. A passer-by helped him to his feet.
"It'sh okay," replied the drunkard. "First you can save the children - I know how to swim!"
Two Polack hermits lived on adjoining hills, and after twenty years one of them got lonely and called on the other. After they had a ten-minute chat and Hermit B told Hermit A the latest news, they parted.
Fifteen years later Hermit B got the itch for more conversation and he went over to his neighbor again. As he entered the other's cell, Hermit A turned pleasantly and asked, "Forget something?"
A Polish couple got married and on their wedding night checked into a motel. They got themselves settled and in a few moments she called, "How about it, Chet?"
There was no answer. An hour later she repeated the question, "Chet, how about it?" Still no answer.
Soon it got to be five in the morning and by then she was fuming. "Chet, how about it?"
Finally he answered, "How about what?"
"How about going to sleep?"
And the last question
CAN I ASK A FEW MORE ESOTERIC QUESTIONS?
DEFINITELY NOT! Absolutely not, categorically not! How long are you going to screw in the poor lightbulbs? Baby, now do the real thing!