I am just myself

My Beloved Ones,

These four days have been of immense difficulty to me. I had thought that Gautam Buddha would be understanding of the change of times, but it was impossible. I tried my hardest, but he is so much disciplined in his own way - twenty-five centuries back - he has become a hard bone.

Small things became difficult.

He used to sleep only on the right side. He did not use a pillow; he used his hand as a pillow. The pillow was, for him, a luxury.

I told him, "The poor pillow is not a luxury, and it is sheer torture to keep your hand the whole night under your head. And do you think to lie down on the right side is right, and the left is wrong? As far as I am concerned, this is my basic fundamental, that I synthesize both the sides."

He was eating only one time per day and he wanted, without saying a word, that I should do it also.

He used to beg his food. He asked me, "Where is my begging bowl?"

This evening exactly at six o'clock when I was taking my jacuzzi, he became very much disturbed - "Jacuzzi?" Taking a bath twice a day was again a luxury.

I said, "You have fulfilled your prophecy that you will be coming back. Four days are enough - I say goodbye to you! And now you need not wander around the earth; you just disappear in the ultimate blue sky.

"You have seen for four days that I am doing the work that you wanted to do, and I am doing it according to the times and the needs. I am not in any way ready to be dictated to. I am a free individual. Out of my freedom and love I have received you as a guest, but don't try to become a host."

These four days I have been having a headache. I had not known it for thirty years, I had completely forgotten what it means to have a headache. Everything was impossible. He is so accustomed to his way, and that way is no longer relevant.

So now I make a far greater historical statement, that I am just myself.

You can continue to call me The Buddha, but it has nothing to do with Gautam the Buddha or Maitreya the Buddha. I am a buddha in my own right. The word 'buddha' simply means the awakened one.

It will be a great difficulty for poor Anando, because now I declare that my name should be Shree Rajneesh Zorba The Buddha.

I have to offer an apology to Katue Ishida, the seeress in an ancient Shinto shrine in Japan. I tried my hardest to accommodate a twenty-five centuries old, out-of-date individuality, but I am not ready to be in a self torture.

And Anando has to see me afterwards, to release the second story... because that makes me absolutely free from any kind of tradition. I used to think that Gautam Buddha is an individual - and that is true, he is. But even against his desire a tradition has arisen in Tibet, in China, in Japan, in Sri Lanka, and I don't want to struggle with these idiots. I want to work with my own people on my own authority.

Maneesha has asked:

A small but very beautiful anecdote.

Zen always tries to beautify the ordinary; it gives greater meanings and implications to words of the ordinary world. So you have to remember that these statements not only say what you hear, but they say much which you can hear only in your silences.

Chosa had been strolling in the hills. When he returned, the head monk said, "Where have you been?"

This is a way of saying that "First I was following only the very ordinary grasses and their fragrance - I thought this was immensely beautiful - AND NOW I HAVE RETURNED IN PURSUIT OF THE FALLING BLOSSOMS."

The difference between the fragrant grasses and the falling blossoms is the same as the difference between you unaware, and you utterly full of light and awareness.

The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha. You have always been a buddha. In fact, there is no way to be otherwise.

Buddha is completely blossomed, fully opened. His lotuses, his petals, have come to a completion, a perfection beyond which it is difficult, almost impossible, to go.

AT THIS THE HEAD MONK COMMENTED, "YOU ARE FULL OF THE SPRING."

A man of silence, a man who has been following the falling blossoms, also becomes part of the spring - the beautiful time when exotic flowers blossom with the fragrances of the beyond. Certainly he was full of spring.

Every day you experience it. Every day you become full of spring. I am trying my best to use the words only to indicate to you the path that is beyond the words. Whenever you are at the center of your being, blossoms start falling and you are full of spring - and a spring that has no beginning and no end.

Certainly, to be full of spring yourself is far more beautiful than the autumn dews falling on the lotus leaves. That is one of the most beautiful things to watch: when autumn dews fall on the lotus leaves and shine in the morning sun like real pearls.

But of course it is a momentary experience. As the sun rises, the autumn dews start evaporating.

Soon there will be no autumn dews. A few will have evaporated into the air, a few will have slipped down from the leaves, to the ocean, but all will be gone within a few minutes.

This temporary beauty cannot be compared, certainly, with an eternal spring in your being. You look back as far as you can, and it has always been there. You look forward as much as you can, and you will be surprised: it is your very being. Wherever you are it will be there, and the flowers will continue to shower on you. This is spiritual spring.

What is this one thing that Kyozan mentioned? This one thing is your consciousness. Nothing can be said about it, because it is as invisible as the air. Nothing can be done to it, because it is born perfect.

Chosa's comment was,

What can be the significance of Chosa trampling upon Kyozan?

He is saying, "This body that I am trampling, you are not. And this mind that is asking me to try it, you are not. But while I am trampling you, deep down I can see your witness. This witness is the one thing, the most important, the most significant - the only thing which is incomparable in the whole existence."

Obviously, he trampled on Kyozan to make it clear to him that "you are only the watcher." And that is the only thing which cannot be said, cannot be explained, but can only be indicated. And the way he indicated it is the way of a tiger or a lion.

Moritake wrote:

The morning glory is one of the most beautiful flowers - particularly in the Far East. And Moritake, an enlightened master, is saying:

"A morning glory... it opens itself as the sun rises, as the birds start singing, as the whole atmosphere becomes cool with the morning breeze. And the morning glory has a tremendous perfume."

Moritake is saying, "The dark night of my soul has ended. The dawn that I have been searching for millions of lives has finally arrived. The sun is rising and the morning glory suddenly has opened and thrown its perfume to the breeze to take it as far away as possible.

"It seems to me," says Moritake, "this is my whole life story. My being has also come to a flowering, and in the very innermost core my sun has risen. The night is over and the day of my awakening has started. This day of awakening and awareness knows no end."

Gautama the Buddha is reported to have said, "The night has no beginning, it is eternal, and the morning has no end - it is also eternal. The night is the past that has gone away, and the morning is that which is coming slowly, settling, settling forever."

Question 1:

Maneesha has asked:

Maneesha, you were right before six o'clock this evening. Now your question is irrelevant.

Okay?

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

(Gibberish)

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Be silent. Close your eyes. Feel your body to be completely frozen.

Now, this is the moment to look inwards with your total consciousness, and with an urgency as if this is going to be your last moment in life.

Go deeper. As you will be reaching deeper and deeper and deeper, closer to your center, you will find the buddha - not any buddha of the past, but your very being.

Everybody is a born buddha, whether one remembers it or not. This is the moment to remember it!

Because with the very remembrance of your being a buddha, a new world opens its doors.

Just be a witness.

Nivedano, make it clear...

(Drumbeat)

Just watch the body - it is not you. This is the body which can be trampled. Watch the mind - it is not you. The only quality that you can claim as your very being is witnessing. And witnessing makes you a buddha.

Gather as much as you can the silences of your heart, and the tremendous peace that has descended over you. The whole spring - gather it! And persuade the buddha to come along with you, to become your very breathing, to become your ordinary life.

Sooner or later there will not be anyone here who is not a buddha in his own right. Before Nivedano calls you, persuade the buddha.

Today, it is not only to come and sit silently for a few minutes, but also to dance because I have declared myself Zorba The Buddha, which has been my basic approach to all human problems.

This evening is far more significant than the evening four days before.

Come back. Bring all your silence and joy and grace with you. Sit a few moments utterly full of spring.

Today you have to stand up and dance with the music, because this is my last declaration.

Okay, Maneesha?

Yes, Buddha.