Darshan 14 October 1976

Deva means divine and dheeraj means patience - divine patience. And that is very significant to remember. On the path nothing more is needed than patience. Man can do everything that he is capable of, but still there is no necessity that the ultimate happens; it may happen, it may not.

We can grope in the dark; the door may open, it may not So if one has not infinite patience, one starts getting tired of the search. There is no short cut to it - and there cannot be because of the very nature of things. The journey is long and many times one starts losing hope. Those are the moments when patience will be needed.

Patience is nothing but a fragrance of trust. The night is dark but one trusts that the dawn is coming.

Each moment it is coming closer and closer. Maybe the night is actually becoming darker. In fact it becomes darker before the dawn comes, so the actual may not be helpful to the possible. The actual may be saying, 'What are you doing? What are you waiting for? The night is getting darker than ever before. The dawn must be going further away and the distance is growing greater. This is simple logic: the night is getting darker so the dawn cannot be very close. You are losing track!

There is no point in waiting any more. '

The mind will try to frustrate. The mind will bring a feeling of hopelessness, because once a person becomes hopeless all search is lost. Then he simply leads a routine life, a mundane, mediocre life.

He simply goes on repeating empty gestures which have no significance. One simply goes on doing things because what else to do? One needs to be occupied, so one goes on repeating the same thing again and again and again. It creates tediousness. Repetition creates boredom. But the base is that once you become hopeless about the dawn, then the night has taken complete possession of you. That is the dark night, and everybody has to pass through it.

Patience is of two types - the positive and the negative. Negatve patience simply means a sort of lethargy, not doing anything, just waiting for some miracle to happen, waiting for Godot... not doing

anything for it to happen; not being in any way creative about it - just sitting, lazing around, and just thinking that some miracle will happen, and knowing well that it never happens. Then a sort of dullness arises, a sort of stupidity, insensitivity, a deadness. I am not talking about that patience.

That is not really patience - it is a dead corpse.

The real patience is positive, active, creative. The real patience is not just a laziness. It is radiant with hope. It is throbbing with life and zest and enthusiasm.

The english word 'enthusiasm' is very beautiful. It comes from two roots: 'en' and 'thus'. 'Thus' comes from theos - that means God. That is the meaning of deva. When somebody is full of God, he is full of enthusiasm. To be full of God means to be full of hope - that the actual is not the end of the world, that all that has happened is nothing compared to that which is going to happen, that the past is very limited and the future is endless and the actual is only a very tiny part of the possible.

The possible is vast like the sky. The actual is just your house - nothing much... a very tiny island in the ocean of the possible.

The real patience is a deep enthusiasm. One is throbbing. Mm? - just as one waits for one's beloved. It is not dullness; every pore of your being is alive, aflame. Anybody passes on the road - a postman passes by or just a stranger - and you rush to the door. Maybe she has come? Your waiting is not just a dullness. You wait with alertness. You wait with trust. You know deep down that it is going to happen. It has not happened yet but there is a tremendous certainty in the heart of hearts that it is going to happen. That's what enthusiasm is.

So be positively patient. Work hard. Patience is not a substitute for work. You have to work hard but you have to trust that just by your own work much cannot happen. Man's hands are very small and the existence is very big; we cannot contain it. Our efforts are very tiny, and that which we are desiring is infinite. So do all that you can do. Never relax in that, but still remember that only by your own doing it cannot happen. Your doing is needed and your waiting also. Your doing is needed and your passive, alert, patience also. When these two things meet - the effort and patience of man - grace descends.

The meeting of patience and effort is the opening of the door. Then suddenly the clouds start opening and the sun is there, bright and full of light and full of delight I give you this name so that it becomes a constant remembrance, a fragrance around you.

[A sannyasin says: Whenever I do any kind of creative work, like writing or preparing a class, a tremendous tension builds up and I get all this nervous energy that I can't apply to my writing. So I start straightening the room or doing anything to kill time. If somebody walks by I start talking to them and I just go into a kind of a frenzy so that I can't work, or my work is very tense.] I understand. In fact it is not only your problem; it is the problem of all creative people as such. Deep down it is a question of creativity itself. Ordinarily one can create only in a frenzy. So all creative people are crazy people - they live in a frenzy. There are bouts of energy when they become very creative, then gaps of laziness when they simply rest; they cannot do anything. And all creative people are a little imbalanced. If a person is really absolutely normal, he cannot be creative.

So normal people have not created anything in the world. A Van Gogh or a Picasso - they are bound to be a little neurotic. So if you drop your creativity, you can drop your frenzy. But then you will settle on a very normal level and it will not be satisfying because you will feel that something is missing. Something that you could have done, you have not done. Something that was your destiny, you have been avoiding. No one can feel at ease if he avoids his destiny.

The other way is that you be in a frenzy and create, but then too you will be in trouble. Now you will feel happy that you are doing something but you will never have a moment of peace. You will be fulfilling your destiny but it will be like an obsession. You will be almost possessed. All creative people know well that they are almost possessed when they create something. They cannot say that they are doing it - they are being forced to do it. They even sometimes resist and in spite of themselves they have to do it.

My suggestion is, don't settle against creativity. Move into creativity. But I am not saying that there is no possibility to transcend that obsessive turmoil, that frenzy. There is no need to fall down and settle below; there is a way to go beyond. And if you want to settle, then settle beyond. The way is that you accept this frenzy very delightfully. It is part of the deal. If the going is rough, the going is rough; it is part of the game. If you continuously hanker to be at ease, it is a problem. If you can enjoy that feverishness, that frenzy, there is no problem.

When a river falls into a waterfall there is a frenzy, but the river goes on singing and dancing. When there is a cyclone there is a frenzy, but that too is needed - it is welcome. When the ocean waves are in a wild roar that too is part of being the ocean - and it is beautiful. The problem arises if you start hankering for the opposite.

So for one month do one thing. Simply accept this frenzy; welcome it and go with it. Don't create any conflict with it. When you feel like talking, talk; nothing is wrong in it. When you feel like writing something, write. Even in the middle of the night, write; nothing is wrong in it. Just go with it - don't be dragged by it, otherwise you will feel troubled. Just go with it - and when I say go with it, I mean go so happily that sometimes you are going ahead of it and the frenzy is coming just following you, dragging behind. Don't drag behind. For one month enjoy it, and then tell me how it is.

I would like you to settle, but not against creativity. I would like you to settle beyond it so that you can remain creative and yet you can remain happy and peaceful. So I will not suggest that you drop your creative activity. All creative activity is like a demon - it possesses you, it drives you crazy.

It crushes you into new modes of being. It destroys you, renews you. Because somethiny new is going to be born out of you, you are to suffer the birth pangs. Just go with it, and happily. For one month drop all resistance and then tell me. Good.