Darshan 17 April 1976

[A sannyasin said he was feeling a little apprehensive about going, saying that he hoped he would not lose that which he had gained while he was here.]

You can never lose that. Whatsoever is attained is attained forever. There is no way to fall back. If you fall back that simply shows that you were imagining that you had attained something. It was not an attainment.

If something real has happened, it has happened forever. It becomes a permanent part of your being. But if it disappears, that simply shows it was not worth much; it was just dreaming. So never be worried about it. If it disappears, good. You got rid of something which was not there. If it remains, perfectly okay.

So whatsoever happens is good. The opening is real - don't be worried. It is going to become bigger and bigger. And the fear that I see in you is not that it may close someday but that it will become bigger. That's the real fear.

It is difficult, but that's the real fear. And it always comes, because it means that you have to change with it. When your vision changes you cannot remain the same. And when you have to change, a thousand and one things have to be changed. You have many investments in the past - many clingings, many attachments - and when suddenly you change, everything has to be dropped. That's a little hard but nothing can be done. Once you start seeing things, the transformation follows as a natural phenomenon.

So the fear comes. The fear is of dying to the past and being born in a new future. But just go, and continue to meditate, mm? And at least if you cannot meditate or do anything, just for one hour -

and this will help - sit in the corner of the room facing the wall. Sit in the comer so that it is just in front of your eyes; very close, almost touching you.

Just look at the wall ... become quiet and go on looking. There is no need to stare, otherwise that will create tension. Simply look as if not looking at all. What can you do? - your eyes are there so you go on looking.

If you can sit every day just for forty minutes, the opening will grow. Then there is no need to feel any fear.

Something really good is happening!

[Osho recommended to a newcomer, that she combine her meditation with groups, saying... ]

If meditation and groups can be done together, then many things start happening very intensely and very fast.

Both the dimensions are, in a way, polar opposites, but they function like two wheels of a cart, or two wings. Meditation makes you more and more silent and groups make you more and more loving.

This is one of the most important things to remember: if love is alone, without silence, sooner or later you will lose track of it. In the beginning everything will be good but by and by everything will become bitter. A mind which is not silent can only hope but cannot love. It can desire but cannot love. It can dream, but when the actuality has to be faced, it flops. Only a silent mind can be loving and can move deep in love.

If a person simply meditates and love is not growing side by side, his silence can become a sort of insensitivity. He can become isolated; can move in an inner space so far away that all contact with the world is lost. That too is dangerous, because then silence will be there but there will always be a subtle feeling of sadness also. Make silence a celebration.

Silence has to become part of a loving personality and has to cooperate with love. In the East, people have tried much with meditations. That's why the East became a little aloof, detached, indifferent to life, and love disappeared.

These growth groups are all western, and the West has been working hard to find some centring in love. They are beautiful. To me, to meditate and to go through a few group processes makes you a complete man. East and West meet and a synthesis is created.

[Osho talked to a therapist who is the mother of a sannyasin living here, saying that as she became more integrated, her work would become more and more intense and beautiful and she would be able to help people more... ]

And as a sannyasin you will become a tremendous help. It has happened to many groupleaders - and almost half of the groupleaders are sannyasins now. The whole group is going to become sannyasins - they cannot avoid it. They can delay, that's all.

And once they have become sannyasins, their whole work has taken on a very different quality. If you are confused, your work will remain a little hesitant, and knowingly, unknowingly, you will go on

creating confusion in others also. Once you are settled.... And . a decision like sannyas settles tremendously because it is almost deathlike; it is moving into the unknown; it is trusting something and you don't even know what it is. The very trust changes you. The very step into the dark and the uncharted, brings up all the courage that has always been there but was never used, was never given a situation to explode.

Go and do the work... and the work is perfectly good. You can help me also through your work. But if you go as a sannyasin I will be coming with you, and it will be better. Otherwise I will haunt you - I will be coming all the same!