Darshan 11 April 1976

[A sannyasin said that she had been practising Yoga for about ten years. Osho said that it would be helpful for her if she did a few growth groups while she was here, as though there are many benefits in Yoga, it is slightly repressive... ]

The more you train your body, the more you are able to control it, the more repressive you become, unknowingly, because all sorts of control brings repression.

When Yoga first developed, people were very simple. They had nothing to repress really, so the system functioned perfectly well. The system is five thousand years old, and man was in a totally different world. Now the whole world has changed. The mind of man has changed, the body has changed, but the system continues to be the same. It has not evolved with man. A system cannot evolve on its own. It always clings to a particular time - and man goes on changing.

So now, because so much has been culturally repressed, religiously repressed, every person is already repressed. When he starts Yoga, he starts controlling, and then all that is repressed becomes part of him.

So Primal Therapy will be very very helpful; it will bring things out. And something like Yoga plus some cathartic method is needed so you become disciplined, and yet you are not repressing. Then there is a perfect combination. That's what I am doing here.

All these methods, dynamic meditation and others, are all cathartic, so you become empty, and then you control yourself. When control happens in emptiness, it is tremendously beautiful. But when you have the whole marketplace inside and you control, you become almost imprisoned in it. Your own control becomes a great load on your being. It doesn't give you weightlessness. It doesn't allow you

to fly into the sky. It makes you more and more rooted in the earth. You become heavier and heavier and heavier.

So every practitioner of Yoga, particularly in this modern world, needs to work simultaneously on catharsis. Both the works should go together, so you go on controlling and you go on throwing out all the rubbish. A day comes when discipline is there, but there is nothing to discipline it. One is innocent. Then discipline becomes spontaneous. There is no sting of control in it. One feels disciplined and yet free. And unless a discipline becomes freedom, it is dangerous.

[A visitor said that she had been attracted to Osho because she had heard that he spoke on Zen, in which she was interested, having read something about it.]

Do something about it!

... because reading won't help, and reading can sometimes give a very wrong impression about it.

It is something which cannot be said, and the moment you say it, you falsify it.

It is not an ordinary religion. It is tremendously extraordinary. And it is so paradoxical that if you read it, it looks almost absurd. Only through feeling can you realise that it is not absurd... that it is the greatest sanity possible to humanity. If you read, it looks almost mad, crazy.

Maybe because of that craziness, many people become interested in it. In the West, people are burdened too much with reason. They are fed up with it. The whole logical effort has proved almost imprisoning - categories, divisions, clear cut definitions. The western mind seems to be fed up with all that, with the whole aristotelean attitude. So now the pendulum swings to the opposite, and Zen seems to be very appealing and interesting. But if it remains only that - interesting, amusing - then it may humour you a little, tickle you a little, but it is not going to be of any help.

Move into it. It will need effort... you will be put to task, your mettle will be put to test. And it is arduous. Many people go through books and they think it is going to be very easy. It almost seems like some type of hippiedom. It is not. It is one of the most arduous efforts ever made by human beings.

It talks about spontaneity, but to achieve that spontaneity, one has to pass through years of training and discipline. That spontaneity is not available right now. right now if you become spontaneous, you will just be a victim of the lower self, the instinctive. Then you will not be rising higher in your consciousness, and you will not become integrated. On the contrary, you may just become a driftwood.

Many people become interested in Zen, but when they go into the real Zen they become afraid. So if you are really interested, go before the interest wanes and disappears. And don't make it just an intelectua amusement - it is not. It is a very great discipline. If one can pass through it, one achieves something which even death cannot destroy. And only that which death cannot destroy is to be called an achievement. All that death can destroy is just playing around, fooling around, because sooner or later death comes and takes everything that you were thinking you had achieved.

I was just reading about a great mohammedan calipha, a king, Harun-al-Rashid. He had a buffoon in the court, as was the custom in the old courts. He asked the buffoon, 'Don't you sometimes think that it would be good if you could become an emperor yourself?'

The buffoon said, 'No, never. I have never even dreamt about it. Nobody can tell me that I have ever been greedy in that respect.'

Harun-al-Rashid said, 'Why? Everybody wants to be somebody.'

The buffoon said, 'Think of yourself in a desert, thirsty for one glass of water. How much will you be ready to give?'

Harun said, 'I will give half my kingdom.'

And the buffoon said, 'If you are not satisfied and another glass is needed, and the same price is asked, what are you going to do?'

Harun said, 'I will give the other half.'

The buffoon laughed and said, 'So your whole kingdom is worth nothing more than a glass of water!'

All that we achieve in life is dreamstuff, unless you come across something - something which is deathless and which death cannot destroy. But to come to that, one has to work hard. It is an uphill task. So don't remain just interested - move into it.

Whenever a good interest is there, do something to materialise it. Otherwise things come and go like fashions. I have seen many people who have become interested in Zen; then by and by they become interested in other things. The mind goes on changing. You can go on changing like that every six months, two years, three years.

Then a new phase comes, a new thing becomes prevalent. People start talking, gossiping about it - sometimes about meditation, sometimes about this and that. Everybody becomes interested - as if it is new movie on the TV and everybody is talking about it. One has to know about it to be respectable, to be part of the high-brow society. Just like that, Zen has become an interesting subject. It is not an interesting subject. It is one of the most arduous things.So go to Japan, mm? It is good.

[A sannyasin says: I really want to stay here... in your energy.]

That's all there is to be done, and is needed to be done. Just to be near me is enough. If you don't do anything else, that will do.

Just be near me - that is one of the doors to the divine.

Effort is needed because people don't know how to be near someone who has disappeared. They don't know how to be in the presence of one who is not. And it is difficult in a way, because if you come too close to me, you will be almost on the brink of an abyss. One feels afraid. So it is good to watch the step and remain a little far away. But come, by and by, as dose as you can gather courage to.

I cannot come close to you, because I am not there. You have to come dose to me. I'm available...

you can take as much as you want. But you will have to come.

There is a very famous sufi story. A sufi master was meditating, doing his evening prayer, in a small village on a hill-top. He was sitting by a wall and he saw another man sitting on the wall. Just by the side of the wall a small freshwater spring was flowing. The man was throwing bricks - taking them out of the wall, and throwing them into the spring.

The sufi master was watching, and he asked the man, 'What is the matter? What are you doing?'

The man said; 'I am very thirsty.'

The Sufi said, 'If you are thirsty, why don't you come to the spring? You can come down from there - it is just a few feet down. Why are you throwing these bricks?'

The man said, 'I am trying to bring the spring closer to me, brick by brick. By throwing the bricks, the spring is getting higher and higher, and sooner or later it will come. Moreover, when the brick falls and the water splashes, it gives me tremendous pleasure just to sit here and hear the sound of the water. And I am not going to remain thirsty forever - water is here.'

So if you are close to me, even the splash will make you happy - but it is not going to quench your thirst. And don't throw bricks at me because that will not help (chuckling). I am not going to come closer to you... you have to come closer to me!

So that's the only thing one has to do. Perfectly good! Do it with my blessings. Just be here - nothing else is needed. All else is just an excuse for you to be here. I tell you to do meditations, I tell you to do the groups, this and that. That is just an excuse for you to be here, to be close to me, because it will be very difficult for you just to be here, not doing anything. Then you will find a thousand and one excuses to go away.

So I go on creating methods; they are toys so you can play with them, and can remain engaged.

But meanwhile, all the time, something very different is happening - you may be aware or not.

And that is, remaining dose to me, something is changing all the time. You are engaged with the meditations... I am engaged in something else. That's your being open to me, just your being here.

By and by, when you will understand, there will be no need to do anything... just being here.

This is what is called satsang - to be in the presence of one who is not. By and by you become one with his being.

By and by you give space and you receive me. You get out and I come in. And this can happen any moment because no effort is needed, just a tacit understanding, mm? just a tacit love.

[A sannyasin says: When I'm making love I feel a small resistance... but I just keep going and then it goes away.]

That resistance will go, mm? It is always there, and particularly when you are in a love relationship.

When you are with a stranger there may not be any resistance because there is no need. He may be close physically, but he is far away.

The resistance starts the more you feel close to a person, because it seems he is coming so close you may lose yourself in him, or he may almost trespass your being. When the boundaries of two

personalities start coming very very close, fear arises about what is happening. Are you going to be engulfed? Are you going to be completely eaten? dissolved? A certain resistance comes.

That's why people make love but very few attain to orgasm. Particularly women... they very rarely attain to orgasm. Even if they attain, it is not total - just a fragmentary orgasm. If the resistance is there, orgasm cannot happen because your energy is divided. You want to go and meet the other person deeply, totally, and still you are holding yourself back. So you are doing two things together which are opposite, contradictory. And orgasm is possible only when you are one flow of energy, a total energy flow.

So by and by drop that resistance also. And this is going to help you finally with me. Because if you have resistance in love, you will have more resistance in trust. One has to learn how to drop resistance in love. Then one becomes capable of prayer.

You will be capable of understanding me, of being here and feeling my presence totally, when your love has become completely flawless. Prayer is a higher stage of love - when there is no physical, no mental thing about it... it is pure spirit.

So first sex has to become orgasmic. Then love has to become non-resistant - only then prayer arises. These are the steps.

Just remain alert and drop all resistance. Whenever you feel that resistance is there, just relax the body and exhale. Exhalation will help immediately, because whenever we resist something, we keep, we hold the breath in. That is the physical part of resistance. Whenever you are resisting somebody you will not allow a deep breath; you will hold the breath. If you relax the breath, the resistance will be relaxed immediately.

So whenever you feel the resistance is there, just exhale deeply and imagine that the whole resistance is being thrown out with the breath. Breathe it out.

And things are going really well. Just don't create any problems, mm? Sometimes the mind wants to create problems - resist the temptation; don't create the problem. If you can remain non-problematic for a little while, much will happen.

[A sannyasin says: ... it seems I have been dreaming all the time in this way.]

Everybody is dreaming. But once you understand that you have been dreaming, then the possibility is there for you to wake up. And you can awake - there is no problem. When you see that you have been dreaming, then just make yourself more alert; dreams will disappear.

But everybody is dreaming, and everybody has to come to a point where one understands that the whole life up to now has been just a dream.

... Just do one thing: whenever you feel that you are dreaming, just watch your dreams. Close your eyes and watch your dreams with total attention; don't try to stop them. U you stop them, they again move into the dark comers of your being and they watch and wait there. Whenever they feel that you are again in a sleepy mood, they will bubble up.

So don't in any way stop dreaming, otherwise the dreaming will continue, and will haunt you. Never stop a thing; let it complete its course. Just close your eyes and see your dream. It is a beautiful film. Just be a watcher, a witness. The problem arises when you become identified.

You can go to a movie and try. Go and sit there, and continuously for two or three hours as the movie goes on, you have to remember that it is just a movie, that nothing is there in the screen - only shadows - and don't get identified.

Somebody is getting killed on the screen. Don't get identified in any way, don't get shocked.

Something terrible is happening to somebody. Don't start crying - because nothing is happening and there is nobody. Something else happens and the whole hall laughs and you also start laughing.

Catch yourself redhanded. What are you doing? Laughing? And there is nothing to laugh at! - just a projected film.

The same is the case with the mind... it is also a movie, and your mind functions as a screen. Your desires go on projecting onto it and you are a witness. Of course it is a very very close affair and it will be difficult in the beginning, but it can happen.

And when it happens, one simply awakes out of a great sleep of many lives. Then one simply laughs!

The whole thing was so absurd, simply ridiculous!

And watch your actions. If you are feeling angry, close your eyes and watch your anger. There is no need to do anything, because the moment you do, you are identified. Just catch hold again and again before a thought becomes a deed. Remember, either the thought will become a deed, or it will dissipate, disappear, evaporate.

If you become unconscious, the thought tries to become deed. If you become conscious, the thought disappears.

[The Enlightenment Intensive group was present. A group member said he had a sensation of fear in his left temple; he was trying to watch his mind and became frustrated with himself.]

Mm mm, I understand.... The group has been very good for you, but sometimes this happens, because this group is basically Zen. The whole function of this method is centred in the rightside brain.

The rightside brain is the receptive, the intuitive, the poetic The leftside brain is reason, logic, science, prose. When you move to the rightside brain it is a change of gear, because for your whole life you have lived from the left side.

Your leftside brain is the trained, disciplined brain. All the universities exist for the left side. All the churches, theologies, dogmas, exist for the left side. They are all afraid of the right side. The right side seems to be dangerous, because the right side knows no logic, no reason, no categories... it is wild.

So when the shift happens, the left side starts feeling very afraid. It rarely happens so physically as it has happened to you. You felt it exactly on that side - the fear, the anguish, the anxiety. This is a

beautiful indication that the shift has happened, otherwise it won't happen; this anxiety won't come.

But don't be worried - it is only in the beginning.

Every day for at least one hour, simply sit. Do something that you were doing in the group that took you the highest, and just move from the left brain to the right. Let the left feel a little deserted; it will feel a little deserted. Soon your whole being will become so enriched that the fear will disappear.

The leftsided brain is very logical. Once it sees that there has been no trouble, there has been no loss, that it is profitable and you are being enriched, the fear disappears. Even the logical mind starts helping the illogical mind.

Then the logical becomes the means and the illogical becomes the end. Your prose also becomes, by and by, more poetic. But it will take a little time, so don't be worried. It has been very very good.

[A group member said she had tension but was not sure where in the body.]

.... sometimes it happens that the mind goes on avoiding the real place. The mind tries not to know it.

Whenever one is holding something, it is almost always in the stomach. These may be the consequences of it, the by-products, but these are not the places where you can hold. Holding is always in the stomach, and these places can show the tensions.

[Osho checked her energy and said that twice a day before she took a bath. she should take a rough, dry towel and massage her stomach firmly for three to five minutes. This should be done before the bath, and done firmly enough to make the area hot, and then she should take a cool shower.... ]

Once the stomach energy moves rightly, these symptoms will disappear. The problem is not there, but the mind is so cunning that it will not allow you to know the real cause. It tries to hide the real cause so you can go on struggling with the consequences, and nothing will happen.

[Another group member said he felt completely empty... and his vision seemed distorted.]

Good. Emptiness is tile goal of the whole effort. We are trying to make you empty. And when such a great thing happens inside you that you feel empty, everything will be affected; the vision will be affected. But that will settle, mm? Within a week the vision will be okay and everything will come back.

Continue to feel the emptiness... don't let it go now. Whenever you feel that it is slipping out of the hands, dose the room and sit, and again dip into it. Catch hold of it and bring it back home. In the day, two or three times, relive that experience of emptiness, so that it remains fresh and flowing.

Soon you will see that when you really become in tune with emptiness, it is being filled by something unknown.

Emptiness is the first step. The second step follows itself if you fulfill the first. Something starts descending in you.

But when emptiness comes, things will happen. Sometimes one loses the alignment of the body, sometimes the vision. Sometimes the hearing is affected, sometimes the taste disappears, sometimes one cannot smell. It is such a critical moment that the whole body goes through a change, and the change is great.

And the mind is connected so deeply with the eyes, that eighty percent of the information the mind receives comes from the eyes - eighty percent - and twenty percent from the rest of the body. So from each of the other senses, there is only five percent.

So when the mind feels empty, the eyes lose alignment. Sometimes there is distortion. You will see double vision ... you can see things round shaped which are not round shaped. So just remain a little alert.

[Osho suggested to him that three or four times a day he should rub his eyes until they were hot and then splash them with cold water. He said that whenever something in the body is disturbed, the thing that brings it back to normality is a hot sensation followed by cold. When the eyes are made hot, they expand. When they are made cold, the fibres shrink. Through the action of expansion and contraction, flexibility is retained.]