If you really love me, then wake up
SINCE YOU HAVE BECOME AVAILABLE TO US IN THIS EARTHLY, EVERYDAY WAY, I HAVE BEEN AMAZED AT THE AMOUNT OF FEAR I FEEL WITH YOU SO CLOSE. IT MAKES ME WANT TO HIDE FROM YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS FEAR. CAN YOU EXPLAIN?
Love is always followed by the shadow of fear. The reason is, love is almost a death. Your old self, your old personality dies, and you are born again. Love is a death and a resurrection. Love is a cross. Jesus dies on it, and Christ is born on it.
That's why followers, disciples have always wanted their masters to be prophets, messiahs, gods, far away from themselves - for many reasons. This was one of the most significant reasons: that you could adore your master but you could not love him. And what is adoration without love? It is absolutely meaningless.
Adoration without love is a body without a heart beating in it. It is a corpse.
Your prophets, your messiahs, your reincarnations of God, they also wanted to keep you as far away from themselves as possible because they had to hide their own secrets from you. For example, scientifically nobody can be celibate, and they were all pretending to be celibate. They were fulfilling your desire that they should be superhuman - and nobody is superhuman. A distance was needed so you would never come to know their reality.
Mahavira sits on a high, very high - pedestal. You cannot reach him. Of course you will never know whether he perspires or not. To keep the story going that tirthankaras - the prophets of Jainas - do not perspire, it is certainly necessary to keep a certain distance.
When I am sitting here, I don't know whether you perspire or not. But when I came to your disco I was really surprised. The smoke of the cigarettes... I never feel it here. And, my God, the way you perspire! I was thinking that my disciples had stopped perspiring!
Of course, I myself rarely perspire, because moving from one air-conditioned place to another air- conditioned place in an air-conditioned limousine, there is no chance for me to perspire. But once in a while the electricity fails, the compressor in the car stops functioning - then I know certainly that I am not a prophet. I perspire just like you, and I am fortunate that I perspire just like every human being, because I don't want to be made of plastic. My skin is as real as yours. If Mahavira did not perspire, the only possibility is that he had a plastic body without any pores.
Perspiration is absolutely natural. It helps you to keep your temperature always the same. When it is hot, your perspiration glands of which there are seven million, all over your body, start releasing small drops of water. The heat evaporates that water; it becomes engaged in evaporating the water and leaves you alone. It keeps your temperature the same; otherwise, without perspiration your temperature would be the same as the temperature outside. Soon you would burst - any moment.
For centuries it has been a good contract - not made knowingly, but made certainly by your unconscious mind, and your prophets and messiahs and tirthankaras, avataras - that a distance is needed. So your prophet is always something so far away from you, you need not be afraid. You can adore, you can love, you can play whatsoever mind games you want to play with him: he is beyond your grasp.
I am totally different. If you say you love me, I can come down and catch hold of you wherever you are. I will not wait. Somebody loves me - and you say you love me deeply; I will chase you to the very end of the sky. And particularly more so, because for two months I have been celibate. So your fear is right!
And you are hiding? That is the whole game of love. You are not hiding out of fear. Out of the corners of your eyes you are waiting to be found. Just the human, purely human joy of being found, somebody searching for you, chasing, and you are hiding.... It is not out of fear that you are hiding.
It is out of love, and love makes you afraid because it brings you to a point where you have to drop your ego. That is a death. And only after the death of the ego will you know the real taste of love - never before it.
Please, come out of your hiding. I am a lazy man - you may go on waiting in your hiding place, and I may never come. Anyway I don't know your address, your name. You have to be a little more daring. So go to the pub, have some strong drinks; the fear will disappear, and you will come rushing towards me like a bull. If anybody is to be afraid, it is me!
WHY ARE SO MANY OF YOUR SANNYASINS GERMAN?
The whole credit goes to Adolf Hitler. Adolf Hitler led the strong German spirit - particularly the youth - into such a hell, into such suffering and misery, into such utter failure, that the German mind since then has been searching for somebody who is just the opposite of Adolf Hitler.
They have found the anti-Adolf Hitler in me.
It is not just a coincidence. Nature follows certain laws. If the second world war was a long nightmare, the reason was that the Germans followed a man who was giving them hope, the promise of a better world. And by the end of his life Adolf Hitler started proclaiming himself the reincarnation of the Old Testament prophet, Elijah. He was not only a political leader, he was a religious prophet; and Nazism was not only a political creed, but a new religion preparing the way for the superman to come.
You have been cheated, deceived. Now for centuries the spirit of German youth is not going to forget or forgive Adolf Hitler. They want someone who is just the opposite of Adolf Hitler. I am not a prophet. I am not a reincarnation of the Old Testament prophet Elijah. My foot! I don't care a bit about these Old Testament prophets - most of them are idiots, fanatics. The German youth finds in me a friend, not a leader. They are fed up with leaders.
I am not giving you any promises for the future. My insistence is on the present. This moment live, love, laugh, but don't wait for tomorrow.
Adolf Hitler was saying to the German youth, "Sacrifice your present, your youth, your love, your mother, your father, your wife, your beloved, your friends, for a better Germany to be born - a Germany which will be ruling over the whole world."
German youth is completely finished with all kinds of promises. They are no longer interested in the future, because in the name of the future they have been exploited.
With me, they find a totally different type of man, who gives no hope, no promise, no certainty for tomorrow, but only says, this moment is all that you have got. And never sacrifice this moment for anything, whatsoever it is - not even for God.
I teach you how to live! Adolf Hitler was teaching you how to die for the fatherland, for Nazism, for the leader, Adolf Hitler, for the future generations who will rule over the world. And I am saying, drop the very idea of future. Future generations will take care of themselves. Don't you stupidly sacrifice yourself for future generations - future generations will have their own present.
But this foolish idea is very ancient. Your parents sacrificed their love, their life, their joy, their pleasure, their holidays - everything - for you. And you are sacrificing everything for your children, and your parents' parents were doing the same.
Do you see the logic of it? Every generation is sacrificing for another generation, and that generation will sacrifice for another generation. Nobody is living. Nobody has lived up to now.
They were all great martyrs. With beautiful phrasing you can hide the reality of a thing. You sacrifice - it is your duty - for your children. Don't you want your children to be happy? Don't you want your children to be healthy? Don't you want your children to be cultured? Obviously, you say yes, but you should say, "The same was said to our parents. They sacrificed themselves; they never lived. They sacrificed for us to live and love, and now you are telling us not to live but to sacrifice again."
It is a very tricky game of postponing your life and love and joy and bliss and dance. And for centuries man has done that, with all good intentions. But the way to hell is paved with good intentions.
I am telling you that you are here to enjoy yourself. If you enjoy your children, play with them, teach them, but don't sacrifice for them! Remember, your sacrifice makes you resentful of your children, and your resentfulness creates anger, rebellion in your children against you. No boy can ever forgive his father, no girl can ever forgive her mother. What kind of a society have you created?
Sacrifice is a dirty word. Drop it from your vocabulary.
Yes, if you love your children, and if you enjoy your children, do whatsoever you want to do. It is not a sacrifice, it is not duty; it is love, and out of love you can never feel resentful. And if it is out of love, your children cannot be, deep down, angry against you. These so-called beautiful words - sacrifice, duty, responsibility to the nation, to the religion, to the culture, to the civilization - are all ugly.
German youth is more attracted towards me for the simple reason that I am teaching just the opposite of what they have suffered at the hands of Adolf Hitler. Adolf Hitler has paved the way for me. Nobody can prevent me from taking over Germany.
The German government is doing everything so that I cannot enter Germany. That is enough indication that the paranoia and fear have already reached into the hearts of those who are holding the power.
They have put a few cases against me. I have never been in Germany - I was really amazed. How can I commit any crime? - I have never been there. But they have put cases against me for two reasons. They can refuse entry to a man who is under litigation. Or they can let you enter and then imprison you because so many cases are against you; you cannot leave the country until all the litigations are over.
I rejoice at their fear. Whenever a government becomes afraid of me, it brings great joy to my heart.
That means my work is happening. The governors, the presidents are somehow trembling within.
To hide that trembling they will do all kinds of things.
But whatever you do, your edifice is crumbling. The fear is not coming because of me, the fear is in you.
And it is a strange experience.... For example, here in Oregon we are such a small commune, but we are not afraid of the Oregonians. We are not frightened by the vast numbers of them-and they are trembling with fear, trying in every way to prepare themselves. They have kept their army on alert. For this small commune you need the army to be on alert? They have told their army that any moment they might be ordered to reach Rajneeshpuram within three hours.
We have not done any harm to anybody. In the four years we have been here, we have done great service to this desert, to Oregon. We have made Oregon's name world-famous. Otherwise, I myself had never heard the name. But now, all around the world Oregon has become the focus; they should be grateful to us. And we have converted their desert into an oasis, full of laughter, love, dance, song, music. No desert is so fortunate as this desert we have turned into an oasis! They should be grateful.
For fifty years this land was for sale and there was nobody to purchase it. Who purchases deserts?
And what are you going to do with a desert? And not a small one - one hundred and twenty-six square miles! Just to put a fence around it means thousands of dollars.
They are frightened. The fear comes from the fact that if the people of Oregon become acquainted with us, they will forget the idea, "It is better to be dead than red." They will change it to the idea, "It is better to be red than dead." This is the fear.
Why is the German government afraid of me? Why does the German parliament continuously argue about me? I am nobody - not a politician, no power in my hands. Why should I be discussed in the parliaments of Holland, Germany, England, America? It seems to be simply strange.
But when one is in paranoia, afraid.... The greatest fear comes when your youth starts moving in another direction; that means you are losing your grip on the future. The youth are the future, and if the youth are moving in some direction, certainly their children will move with their parents, and the old generation will be left behind in their graveyards. It is a real fear. The youth are the life of a land, and when life is slipping out of your hands, great fear arises.
But nothing can prevent existence from following its fundamental laws. After Adolf Hitler, I am absolutely needed in Germany! The wound that Adolf Hitler has left behind, nobody else can heal.
My love, my people and their love, can heal the wound very easily.
In Germany we have many communes, and those are the only places where you will see people laughing, enjoying, dancing, singing. Every day, thousands of non-sannyasins are coming to our German discos. It became a problem to accommodate so many people. People are waiting outside the discos in line, so when the first group leaves they can enter.
No church can claim that there is a line outside waiting! Naturally the church is afraid, the government is afraid. What is going to happen to these people? And they cannot understand either your way of life or your freedom, or your thoughts, or your spontaneity. You are the strangest people they have come across.
Yes, Germans are one of the biggest groups among my sannyasins, and every day more and more Germans are turning towards me. I can give you the guarantee that Germany cannot remain anything other than a land of sannyasins - and that will be the absolutely certain prevention of any other Adolf Hitler happening.
They have suffered so much, they need a little relaxation. They have been in such a mental torture, they need some peace of mind. Their political leaders cannot give it to them. Their religious leaders cannot give it to them. Naturally, they have started seeking, and they have found me. I can give them everything that Adolf Hitler has destroyed in the German spirit.
The German spirit is in ruins. We can again make it a beautiful home where you can live, love, dance, sing. And Germans are capable people, strong people. If they could stand alone, against the whole world and maintain that stand for five years, continuously victorious, they can do the same for our vision of the world. Their energy, their strength can be used for creative purposes.
Adolf Hitler took advantage of their strength. That's why, fed up with the politicians and the priests of their land, they have joined hands with me. And I am only a friend. I do not claim any superiority over you, and that's what the German spirit needs.
It needs love, it needs friendship, it needs meditation, it needs silence. It needs to understand poetry, painting, architecture. It needs to understand jokes.
It is said that if you tell a joke to an Englishman, he laughs twice: first, when you tell it, out of politeness, not to be rude to you; and second, in the middle of the night when he gets the point. The German laughs only once. He never comes to understand the point. He laughs because others are laughing, so there must be something in it.
And never tell a joke to a Jew, because he will not laugh; on the contrary, he will say, "This is an old joke, and moreover you are telling it all wrong!"
Perhaps for the first time in their history, Germans who have been sannyasins have been able to understand a joke. And I am going to fill the whole of Germany with beautiful jokes. Such a powerful nation needs some dimension of creativity to put its power, its intelligence into. It does not deserve Adolf Hitlers.
There will be many Germans here. Remember, to prevent Germany again falling into the same ditch... it fell into one in the first world war, it fell into it again in the second world war. And Germany still has American soldiers and American missiles; they can be forced into another ditch, and that will be the end of the whole of humanity.
Throw out the Bibles and read joke books. Tell the Americans to leave with all their missiles. Tell them, "We are not going to need them, and we are not going to sacrifice ourselves for any nonsense, any fatherland."
Germany is the only country which calls itself "fatherland." What a male chauvinist mind! All countries of the world are called "motherland," but Germans could not call their country motherland - it looks as if you are calling your country by the name of the weaker sex. Fatherland seems to be right.
Please, start dropping the idea of fatherland. Make Germany a motherland. Give it more feminine qualities, take away its male chauvinistic ideas. And my sannyasins are capable of doing it. Don't just be satisfied with yourself that you are happy, celebrating, for the simple reason that the more you spread your celebration, the more you rejoice. The more you shower blessings on others, the more blessed you become.
I HEARD THAT SOME OF THE PEOPLE THAT WERE NAMED ON LAST YEAR'S ENLIGHTENMENT LIST, WHICH YOU SUBSEQUENTLY DECLARED TO BE A JOKE, STILL BELIEVE THEMSELVES TO BE ENLIGHTENED, AND HAVE RECEIVED A CERTIFICATE TO PROVE IT. THEY SAY THAT YOU SAID IT WAS A JOKE ONLY OUT OF YOUR COMPASSION FOR US UNENLIGHTENED SOULS, TO SPARE US FROM GREED AND JEALOUSY. CAN YOU PLEASE COMMENT?
Be compassionate to those enlightened people, because never in the world have certificates been issued for enlightenment. If they had any intelligence, they would have immediately returned the certificate.
Certificate for enlightenment? I don't have any certificate. It seems I am the most unenlightened person here: no degrees from your university, no certificate for enlightenment. Sometimes I start thinking, "What the hell am I doing here? With so many enlightened people...."
It was a joke, and those who are still clinging to those certificates are poor souls; just have compassion on them. It is not that I have called it a joke so that those who are not included in the lists will be able to drop jealousy, competitiveness, or an inferiority complex because "somebody else has become enlightened and I am still a camel."
Don't be worried. This is a caravan of camels!
And whenever, once in a while, a camel turns into a lion, I whisper in his ear, "Keep quiet. Don't start roaring, because the camels are too many: they will simply kill you. They will not tolerate such a nuisance." And whenever a lion changes into a child, then naturally for his protection I have to tell him, "Now you are a child - vulnerable, open, keep it a secret hidden deep within you."
Certificates have been given to the camels so they can enjoy their camelhood without any inferiority complex. I love jokes. There is no need to be worried. If they are going all around with their certificates, just have a good laugh with them. Pat their backs, tell them, "Boy, you are doing well, just go on. You have received the certificate; sooner or later enlightenment will also come."
WHEN YOU WERE TESTING YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT BY SMOKING, DRINKING ALCOHOL, AND HAVING SEX, DID YOU TRY EATING FISH AND MEAT? DOES A VEGETARIAN DIET HAVE A REAL VALUE FOR OUR CONSCIOUSNESS, OR IS IT OPTIONAL, LIKE SMOKING?
It is not optional. Before enlightenment, it makes you gross, destroys your sensitivity, does not allow you to feel the life that surrounds you. It keeps you blind to the fact that just for your taste, you are killing living beings. Their bodies may be different, but their spirits are not different from yours.
Just think of cannibals. Has any cannibal ever become enlightened? Fortunately, it has not happened. If it had happened, the cannibals would have eaten that enlightened man first, just to have a little taste of enlightenment.
There is not much difference between cannibals and the people who eat meat and fish; they are all killing living beings. And the person who can kill should not expect his heart to become compassionate, full of love.
So before enlightenment, eating meat will prevent you from experiencing the light, experiencing your being. It is not optional.
After enlightenment, it is optional, but no enlightened person can eat meat and fish. Not that by eating meat and fish his enlightenment is going to disappear - enlightenment cannot disappear, whatever you do. But the enlightened person becomes so sensitive, so aesthetic, that the very idea of killing somebody just for the few buds on your tongue is simply idiotic.
Before enlightenment it is absolutely not optional. After enlightenment, it is optional, but no enlightened person can manage to eat meat or fish. I have tried, but I could not succeed. Fish...
I cannot even stand its smell. To think of myself, even in imagination, eating fish, seems to be absolutely impossible. Meat has been placed before me, but I could not touch it. The very idea that life has been destroyed.... And enlightenment is all for life; it cannot accept death just to have a little taste. So it is optional but impossible.
I know many of you are brought up in families where meat and fish are normal, routine. You have been conditioned from your very birth to think that God created all these animals for you to eat. And I don't know why He created you - for the animals to eat?
Gurdjieff jokingly has proposed a theory - because Mohammedans, Christians, Jews, all believe God created animals for man to eat. The problem I posed to you was also put before Gurdjieff, that if everything is food for somebody else - one animal eats another animal, that animal is eaten by another animal, and so on and so forth - finally there is man. For whom is he food? Or is he an exception?
Gurdjieff was a remarkable man. He said, "Man is also food. He is eaten by the moon."
His disciples could not think what he was talking about, but he had many proofs in his favor. More people go mad on the full-moon night, than on any other night. More people commit suicide on the full-moon night than on any other night. More people commit murder on the full-moon night than on any other night. More people have become enlightened on the full-moon night than on any other night.
There seems to be some reason behind it. On the full-moon night, man's psychology, his body, are all affected by the moon. The people who commit suicide... perhaps the moon has better ways of finding its food than you have.
The moon need not come to you with a gun or with an arrow, but in a subtle way its rays come as death to many people, through suicide, murder. Those who somehow escape become mad. And enlightenment is the ultimate death, because the body will be dissolved and the soul will never be reincarnated into any other body. The moon has eaten the enlightened man completely, not leaving even a trace behind.
Gurdjieff was simply joking, but he made it very clear that you should not think yourself exceptional.
Otherwise, when you kill a lion, it is a game. And when a lion kills you, then? Nobody calls it a game.
In a game both parties are equal. Sometimes one party is victorious, sometimes the other party is victorious, but the game remains a game. When man kills animals, it is a game. When animals manage somehow to kill a man, this is disaster.
You have been brought up in families where you never gave a single thought to what you were eating. Whatever you were given from the beginning, you accepted. You became accustomed to it. That is one of the reasons why the greatest number of enlightened people happened in India, because that is the only country which is vegetarian. In India also there are non-vegetarians, but from non-vegetarians not a single man has become enlightened.
The case is similar in the West. It hurts your conditioning, but the truth is that Moses, Elijah, Jesus, are nothing compared to Gautam Buddha, Vardhamana, Mahavira, Shankara, Nagarjuna-no, just nothing. Their flowering, their height.... The distance between Jesus and Gautam Buddha is so big for the simple reason that these people - Jesus, Moses, Elijah - are all gross, they are not sensitive enough to become enlightened. And because they could not become enlightened, they could not preach vegetarianism to their following. If they had become enlightened, the first thing to teach to their followers would have been vegetarianism.
Smoking is a different matter. It does not kill anybody. At the most it can take two or three years off your life. But it is your life, you are not killing anybody else. You are simply settling for seventy years instead of seventy-three. This is purely your personal business. Enlightenment cannot be affected by taking the smoke in and throwing it out. It is just silly, it is nothing like sin.
Alcohol can disturb before enlightenment, because it can make you more unconscious - that's its whole purpose. Your consciousness is burdened so much with anxieties, worries, anguish, that you take a drink and feel good because your consciousness goes to sleep. Hence, before enlightenment, any kind of intoxicant is absolutely to be dropped. It affects your consciousness and drags it downwards towards darker realms of unconsciousness. And the whole effort of the seeker is to pull the darker parts out into the light, so this is just the reverse process.
But after enlightenment you are free. There is no problem; now no intoxicant can make your consciousness drop from the height it has reached. You can enjoy intoxicants if you like, there is no danger. But ordinarily, all the enlightened people in the past have not used intoxicants after their enlightenment.
Gautam Buddha was asked once, "Do you think taking something alcoholic would be a disturbance to your achievement?"
He said, "No, but if I start drinking, the problem is for my followers who are not enlightened. Seeing me drink, they will say, 'Aha! Isn't it groovy to be a follower of Gautam Buddha?'" But I don't want you to remain in darkness about anything. Gautam Buddha was trying to keep his followers in ignorance, howsoever compassionate his act. But keeping anybody in ignorance I cannot accept as compassion.
So I want to tell you that after enlightenment one can drink any alcoholic beverage. But there is no need, because the enlightened one has no tensions, no anxiety. He has nothing to drown in alcohol, so there is no need for him. But just to be a good companion to you, he can drink a little bit once in a while. That will keep him more human, and that will give you more hope! It will destroy the distance between the enlightened and the unenlightened. And that is my greatest effort - to destroy any distance between the enlightened and the unenlightened.
Of course, there is some existential difference which I cannot destroy. But this is not the existential difference - that you smoke and I don't smoke, that you drink and I don't drink. This is not existential.
The existential difference is very small, and that is: I am awake and you are asleep. It is not much, because I am just sitting on the same bed where you are asleep. Just a little effort will make you awake.
Your sleep gives a guarantee: anybody who is capable of sleeping is capable of awakening, they come together. So what is the fuss about? Take your time. Whenever you want to wake up, wake.
There is no hurry, you have the whole eternity available to you. Yes, I may not be there to wake you up, that is the only unfortunate thing about it. But somebody else....
One day you are going to be awake. If you love me, you would like me to wake you up. That is the only real indication of your love. If your love is just a word, you will go on sleeping and snoring. And you can talk in sleep. I can hear your snoring, and I can see you asleep, and still you are bubbling, "I love you, Osho."
If you really love me, then wake up, because only in your awakened state can we have a communion, a feeling of oneness - not just a feeling, but really a melting into each other.
You have mentioned sex too. Biologically, sex is natural. It is not a hindrance to enlightenment. It is just like eating food, drinking water, breathing the air in and out, waking up in the morning, going to sleep in the night. Your digested food becomes your blood, your semen. It is a natural phenomenon.
Sex in itself is not a barrier to enlightenment, but all the religions have made it a barrier by repressing it. It is not sex that is the barrier, it is perverted sex that becomes the barrier. Homosexuality is a barrier, lesbianism is a barrier.
But because all your religions have been teaching you to be celibate if you want to attain to God, self-realization, liberation, enlightenment - whatsoever their name is for the ultimate experience - then celibacy has been taught to be the basic requirement. It is that idea of celibacy which has driven people into all kinds of perversions.
Celibacy has led humanity to the perfect perversion, AIDS. This is a religious disease. This is the blessing your popes and your shankaracharyas and your imams have given to you.
Certainly whenever nature is not allowed to be natural, it takes you off the route of your growth, you start growing in a different direction. Enlightenment is your natural growth. The more natural you are, the easier the growth. Sex is not a problem; celibacy is.
Before enlightenment, enjoy sex as much as you can because after enlightenment there will not be any sex at all. So do your best and be quick! Life is short, who knows? Tomorrow you may become enlightened. After enlightenment, love is the reality. Sex becomes just a past thing; you are out of the bondage of biology.
So please, don't call your sex "making love." It is not making love. Only when you are enlightened is it possible to make love, because then it is no longer a biological necessity, but just beautiful fun; you can enjoy it. And the enlightened person can enjoy it more than anybody else. He enjoys everything more than anybody else. His capacity to enjoy is tremendous. But there is no necessity.
If he chooses not to play tennis, there is no biological necessity. If he chooses not to play football, existence is not going to ask him, "Why are you not playing football?" It is simply up to him.
Making love is simply a game between two body energies. If you like the game, and likings differ - if you like the game, play it, and play it the best you can. If you don't like the game, there is no necessity, and then celibacy is natural.
After enlightenment, sex is no longer a need, but you have all the mechanism: the whole body of a woman or a man. You are still eating, you are still drinking. You are still creating the energy that used to become sex when you were unenlightened. You can use that energy in making love, or in painting, or in creating poetry, or in dancing. And if you don't want to do anything with the energy, a great change in your chemistry and biology happens. You don't create that energy anymore if you don't use it. But then remember, you will become fatter.
You can see in India, sannyasins.... Muktananda's master - perhaps you have seen his picture. I don't think anybody in the whole world can compete with that man as far as his belly is concerned.
It is almost as high as Everest. It was so difficult for Nityananda, Muktananda's master, to sit - his belly was so big. He was always lying down, and you could see the great slope!
Now the energy accumulates. It is better to use it. This is ugly! An enlightened person should become more beautiful, nicer, more proportionate. But the idea that you have to be celibate creates people like Nityananda. And after a certain point....
For example, Nityananda, even if I had met him and told him... he died before I reached his place.
He did well; otherwise I was going to tell him, "Your belly looks like a very foolish thing, attached to a man who is enlightened. Why don't you make love?"
But I think he would be incapable of making love - the belly would keep the woman miles away! I cannot imagine.... I have looked into the ancientmost scriptures on sexology, Vatsyayana's SUTRAS.
He describes all the positions, eighty-four positions of making love; there is not a single exercise applicable to Nityananda. Perhaps Vatsyayana never came across such a personality.
I have looked into the second great treatise on sex written by Pundit Koka. I think sometimes that Coca-Cola must be some relation to Pundit Koka; perhaps Cola was his girlfriend. And they both together have created such a juicy thing....
The Coca-Cola company does not reveal its secrets to anybody. They are preserved in Switzerland in a bank, locked. The company is not ready for any price to sell the secret of the drink. It is ready to lose great markets. For example, in India Coca-Cola became prohibited for the simple reason that the government wanted to know the formula, how it is made - "because unless the Indian medical board passes it, we don't know what you are supplying." But the company refused. The company said, "We never give our formula to anybody. We are ready to get out of your market." And since then in India, they have been trying, making many cold drinks, but nothing comes close to Coca-Cola. It cannot, it has a very ancient source.
I looked in Pundit Koka's book of exercises. He is certainly far more advanced than Vatsyayana, because Vatsyayana is three thousand years old; Coca-Cola is only one thousand years old. The name of the wife or the girlfriend is not known. Just the male chauvinist world - the man gives his name to his wife. Why can't it be vice versa, that the wife gives her name to the man? No man will be ready for that.
I have searched Pundit Koka's book of sexual exercises in every detail. He has more postures, but still nothing for Nityananda. The belly is so big that it seems almost impossible to reach the woman.
Before it happens to you, don't accumulate energy. It is good that the energy remains flowing, that it remains fresh, it remains young. Your sex energy becoming stale is dangerous; it will create a certain staleness in all dimensions of your life.
Sex is perfect, no celibacy is needed before enlightenment. After enlightenment sex disappears, giving place to love - a far more delicate phenomenon. You can have as much fun as you like, in no way can it disturb your enlightenment. It is something bodily, chemical, physiological. How can it affect your consciousness?
The enlightened man can make love, and while he is making love he is still centered in his being.
He is just a witness, he is seeing himself and the woman making love; he is a third party. And this is what I mean when I say the enlightened man transcends sex, because he becomes a third party.
He can see his own body and the body of his woman completely as a witness. His witnessing is not disturbed by anything.
WERE YOU ALWAYS SELF-SUFFICIENT EVEN AS A CHILD? DID YOU NEVER NEED CUDDLING OR HUGGING? WAS YOUR BODY FREE OF THIS DESIRE?
Unfortunately, yes. I don't remember that I ever needed any cuddling and hugging. I say, unfortunately, yes. Perhaps I have missed something beautiful. Cuddling and hugging are needed by children because they feel so small, so fragile, so afraid of the big world around. I have never felt any fear, and I have had my sources of warmth within myself - as far back as I can remember.
I never liked to sleep with my mother, with my father. Particularly my grandfather was very much in love with me. It is something to be understood. Grandfathers are always immensely in love. They may not have loved their own son, but they love their son's son. There must be some psychological reason behind it. Their own son, because of all the religious teachings in the air, has always reminded them that they have committed something ugly, sinful. This son is the by-product of that act. But with their son's son, they have no guilt feelings.
So it is always the grandfathers and grandmothers who are more loving. My grandfather was very loving, and he always wanted me to sleep with him. I point-blank refused him thousands of times:
"You stop! I cannot!"
He said, "But what is the matter?"
I said, "There are two things. One, you cuddle me and you hug me, and that I don't like. Secondly, you cover your head with the blanket, and my head also. And it is too much. You snore inside the blanket, and the whole night I have to hear it."
Finally he agreed. He said, "Okay. If you don't want to sleep in my bed, at least you can sleep in my room." I said, "That's okay," so I had my small bed in his room. But just because of his snoring, I still covered my head. If I didn't cover my head, I immediately remembered him. He snored really loudly.
For years I slept in his room, covering my head just not to hear. I still cover my head. He has been dead for many decades, but he has left a present with me - this covering the head with the blanket.
Once in a while I try to get rid of it, but within five minutes, it is back. He is not there snoring, but the air-conditioner, the fan in the other room - and I am surrounded by so many mechanisms. One or the other is making a noise. And I say, "Dear grandfather, will you ever leave me or not?" I don't think he is going to leave me.
I have never liked cuddling and hugging. In fact, it is not good of me - I don't like the smell of another person's body, but what can I do about it? About likings and dislikings you cannot do anything. You are born with them and you die with them - enlightenment or no enlightenment.
I REMEMBER THAT I DID GO FOR REBELLIOUS THINGS, BUT WHEN I WAS TURNED DOWN OR SHUT OFF OR DISMISSED, IT HURT SO DEEPLY THAT I GAVE UP. CAN YOU TELL US THE SECRET OF HOW TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO COPE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES?
It is very simple. You have been too serious about your rebellion. That's why you got hurt, because you were thinking you were doing something great, and they told you to shut up! You were expecting a Nobel prize.
The secret is very simple. About your rebellion, don't be serious. On the contrary, when they say, "Shut up!" have a good laugh, be hilarious; then they will be hurt. They will not be able to figure out what is the matter: "I shouted at the boy and rather than getting sad, hurt, he laughed."
That's what I was doing in my childhood. I turned whatever they gave to me, or were trying to give to me, I turned it back with great force. If somebody told me, "Shut up!" I laughed loudly, and I inquired, "Does your 'shut up' apply to laughter too? I will not say a thing, but I will sit here and go on laughing until you ask what is the matter. Better you ask now."
I used to sit in front of my father in his shop, because he had told me to keep quiet. I would go on smiling at him, and he would try to look busy. But I was just sitting there, and I was not doing anything, just smiling. And finally he would have a nervous breakdown, and he would say, "Please tell me what you want!"
I said, "Unnecessarily you wasted so much time by telling me to shut up. And you went into a torture, and I had to waste my time. So please, drop this habit of telling me to shut up, just listen carefully to what I say."
The secret is simple: never take yourself too seriously, then nobody can hurt you. You cannot find any man on the whole earth who has been condemned like me. From all corners, from every country, from every religion, from every political party I have only received condemnation as my reward. But nothing has given me even a scratch.
Hurt? I don't know what it means. I never got hurt because I never took myself seriously. I did what I wanted to do, I said what I wanted to say. If they feel hurt and annoyed and start calling me names and condemning me, that is their problem, it is not my problem. I am finished, the moment I have said and done what I wanted to do, I am finished.
My teachers were always asking me, "What kind of man are you? We punish you, and you accept it as if it is a reward. That makes us so worried about you, whether something is wrong with you. Even after school we continue to think about you." Whenever a teacher took his cane and hit my hands - he would stop hitting, but I would go on keeping my hands held out, and I would ask him, "Is that all?
I was expecting much more. You can do it - if not for this act, then do it in advance for something that I am bound to do."
Don't take it seriously - rebellion should be hilarious. It should be with a laugh, then nobody can hurt you. You won't have any sensitive part, vulnerable; your laughter, your hilariousness will be almost a steel cover over you.
YOU COME EVERY DAY, DANCE WITH US, STEAL OUR HEARTS, SMILE AND DISAPPEAR.
ARE YOU A GYPSY OR SOMETHING?
I am a gypsy or nothing!