Darshan 2 September 1977
Prem means love, nispati means conclusion. And there are two types of conclusion: one is logical, intellectual, another is of the heart. The logical conclusion is superficial; only the conclusion that arises in life through love is decisive. You can go on arguing and thinking round and round; thinking moves in a circle. It always feels as if something is happening, as if one is arriving, but one never arrives, and each conclusion simply begins to be another question. Each conclusion starts another question. No conclusion is conclusive as far as intellect is concerned. You can come to a temporary decision that this is so, but immediately a thousand and one questions arise out of that and again you are on the way. So the conclusion only appears to be conclusive but is not; it is deceptive. When love concludes, it is really conclusive; then there is no question. Then questioning disappears; one simply knows. There is no proof for it, there is no argument for it, and you cannot convince anybody about your love conclusion - there is no way. One is almost dumb; one cannot say anything about it.
One can live it and those who have eyes will be able to see that one has arrived, that something has bloomed, that there is deep contentment, that life is no more a longing but a satisfaction, no more a desire but an arrival. One has arrived! The very vibe says it, the eyes say it but there is no way to prove it. If somebody wants logical proof then the mystic has no proof: his god is beyond proof. That's what I mean by 'prem nispati' - conclusion that does not come through logic but comes through love. God is that conclusion. Let love be your path. Begin in love and you will end in god.
[A sannyasin says he feels a knot in his neck. Osho checks his energy.]
It is there... but it is something to be happy about. The energy has come to that centre; it has never been there before. So it is not really a block. Just because energy has never been there, the passage is not open. Within a few days energy will be flowing, flowing, and the passage will be open. It has never been used. There is no block - a block is a positive hindrance; there is no block.
It is just that the passage has never been used before and your energy has come, rising up to that point. You have not felt it anywhere else because the whole passage was clear. But this part has remained unfunctioning so it just needs to be functioning. And you need not do anything about it because anything you do will be a hindrance in the process; you have simply to allow the process.
Whenever you feel it, this will be a good exercise. Just look up and let the head go as far back as possible and look there, mm? so more tension will be there at the neck. Relax, then come forward; lean forward, relax the neck. Do this just two, three times - two, three times a day. It is just giving energy a help. The energy will do the work on its own... nothing to be worried about!
[A sannyasin says that during kundalini meditation she feels as if her body is dissolving and there is a sensation of energy rising up from her centre. She feels so much fear she cannot do it.]
No, that is the meditation to do because that has given you your first glimpse. But when the first glimpse comes, the first fear also comes. They are associated, they come together. So whenever you become very much afraid of some experience, then remember, that is the meditation to go into.
If you are not afraid of a meditation it is not going to help at all. That means your old identity is safe. Fear comes only when the old identity is in danger, the ground underneath is slipping. You are moving into something, you don't know what, and one feels panicky. Fear is always a good indication that something is going to happen through this method.
Kundalini has touched your hara, and you have felt something like death around you; that's why you felt like disappearing, that's why the feeling of choking, as if you are being killed, as if you are being crucified, hanged. But whenever death is so close by it is a great moment. If you can go into it you will know that you are immortal - that death happens and still you are.
Maharishi Raman attained to enlightenment through death. He was only seventeen or eighteen and suddenly he felt he was dying. He was doing meditations; he must have unknowingly hit his hara.
He was so absorbed in his meditation that he had left home and escaped and was sitting near a temple. The temple was dirty as indian temples are; there were flies and dogs everywhere. He was sitting there, hungry for many days, and all over his body were flies. Dogs were barking and children playing nearby - the indian village scene.
And then suddenly he felt that he was dying, but he accepted it. It was okay: if one was dying, one was dying. He relaxed into death; his body fell down. A crowd gathered and they thought that this boy was dead. And what was happening inside was of tremendous value, ultimate value. Ramana saw his body disappearing. That's where you came very close to. But he accepted and you rejected.
Then he saw his mind disappearing - but he accepted it. And then a smile came over his face. The body disappeared, the mind disappeared and he was still there! Nothing had died! So he opened his eyes and laughed! He said to people, 'Death is impossible. I have seen the body disappearing, I have seen the mind disappearing but I was still there. I was the watcher; I was the witness of it all!'
Since that moment death disappeared for him. He lived for many years after that - fifty years - but he lived in a deathlessness. Then there was life, and eternal life.
[Osho checks her energy.]
Energy is there and really ready to explode. You will have to be a little more brave than you have
been. And drop fear. That's what I am here for: to help you to go into the deepest danger. You can trust me that I will take care. You can afford to die.
So when next time it starts happening, simply go into it and you will find me there. At the last stage of death, you will see me. And kundalini is the method that you have to continue. Do other methods also, but kundalini is a must!
[A sannyasin therapist has led his first group in the ashram and said he felt stuck because it was just a continuation of what he was doing in the West.]
Then I think that for a few days you should not do any groups, mm? - that will be a continuation.
For a few days forget about doing groups. Just relax. And enjoy - if you enjoy any meditation or anything... or just relax. For a few days forget about groups. For at least two months, no group. Let it be a gap, and if then something new arises in your mind and a new urge comes to do something, then tell me; we will make a group for you. But invent something; no need to repeat the old.
[The sannyasin says he would like to take it easy, but needs something to do, otherwise he goes nuts.]
You are nuts! You don't go nuts! So that's good - you can do any kind of work I find, otherwise you can do your group.
But in doing your group be more playful and more inventive, more imaginative. Don't think of efficiency too much - that is a barrier, because if you think too much of efficiency then you have to repeat the old. About that you are perfectly clear, certain; you know the result and you know you will be more helpful. So it is better to do that - but then you are in a rut.
The new thing may not be so good, may not be so successful, may not help people so much, but my vision is always that even if the new fails, it succeeds more than the rut - even if the old rut succeeds. To fail with the new is far better than to succeed with the old, because even in that failure there is life.
And when you are feeling in a rut the group will not have real life because the life comes from the leader. He vibrates it: he is at the centre and ripples arise out of him. If he himself is not vibrating with joy and he is simply doing something because he knows how to do it and he knows what is going to happen and he is following a programme, then there will be no vibe. People will be benefited but the real thing will be missing. There will be no radical change in people. It will be okay - exactly as you said - and okay is not good enough. When you are alive and imaginative and playful, then something is possible; something radical is possible. You will be surprised by it when it happens and others will be surprised. Unless the leader is in a situation that he can be surprised by his own act, the group is dead. So make it a point that you have to be surprised by yourself and not know what is going to happen next. Something is bound to happen! When so many people are there, throbbing with energy, something is bound to happen. Don't follow a rut. You can do the group that you have suggested, but then be playful. Try that, then we will see.