Darshan 1 September 1977
Prem means love and patanga is a special moth that is very much attracted to fire, flame, and whenever there is flame the moth will come and jump into it. Its only love is fire. And hence the name 'patanga' has become a metaphor in the east - a metaphor for the lover. A lover has to be like the moth - ready to jump into fire, ready to die, ready to disappear. God is the flame and the seeker has to be the moth....
[The new sannyasin says: I have been dancing since I was nine years old, but I never felt so much energy as here. When I danced here it was incredible!]
That's true! Here the whole energy is of dance. And now your quality of dance will change: you will get more into it. It will not be just a profession; it will become a vocation. And when one can do something with great love, devotion, then each thing in life becomes meditation. And dance is such a beautiful phenomenon. There is nothing like dance as far as meditation is concerned.
So you have one of the most blessed vocations available to humanity. Your very work can become your meditation. So now dance with the idea that it has to be not just technically correct - that's okay; technically it has to be correct. But it has to be meditative. Bring a quality of silence into it.
And while you are dancing, rather than manipulating yourself, relax; relax into it, let things happen.
Rather than making them happen, rather than creating them, let them happen. Be more innocent in it. And then you will be surprised that not only are you enjoying it, others will enjoy more. Wherever there is innocence, the door to the divine opens... and a dancer can do immense work.
Now you will be my sannyasin, so dance as a sannyasin should dance. And provoke god before you go into dance. Remember me, and just think that you are dancing for god, not for ordinary people.
God is your audience, and you have to disappear in the dance. When there is no ego and the dance is pure, then you will know exactly what it is for the first time. All the old religions of the world were
dancing religions. By and by they have disappeared, and instead of the dancing religions very dull and dead churches have arisen. I want to bring all paganism back into religion - all the dance and the celebration and the song. All kinds of wild joys have to be brought back into religion; only they can infuse spirit into it. Otherwise it is dead and people are just carrying its corpse. Sooner or later it has to be buried or burned unless we can bring wild joy back into religion.... So dance! And next time you come here, dance for the sannyasins too, mm ? Good!
[Osho suggests to a sannyasin he sets up a centre in his home town when he returns. The sannyasin replies there is only he and his wife who are sannyasins there.]
Mm mm, but that is enough to start the whole world! Adam and eve and here we go! Start a small centre!
This will be the name: asti. It means be, being. The latin word 'est' comes from asti, and from 'est' comes existence; existence means the same. And the most important thing in the world is moving your energy from doing to being, changing your focus from doing to being. The western mind is too concerned with doing, and the eastern focus is how to be. And if you are in a state of being, then all that is good follows easily. It follows like a shadow; you need not do it. And when things follow easily, spontaneously, they have a beauty and a grace. But to attain to being, a few things are needed.
The hippies have the right slogan for being: 'Turn on, get off and be.'
There are two types of people in the world: the people who can be called 'turned off people' - sad, depressed, negative, dull, dead, dragging as if the whole world's burden is on them, continuously worrying and worrying. Nothing seems to be bright to them; all is dark and all is doomed. They are always waiting for the doomsday. These people cannot become my sannyasins unless they are turned on.
The other kind is the 'turned on people' who are joyous, who are always looking for something adventurous, always expecting that something is going to happen. They are leaning more towards the brighter side of life. They can see the white lining, the silver lining in the dark cloud. Only these people are capable of being religious. The turned off people are against god. The turned on people are for god, because god is possible when you are turned on totally, aflame... your whole being in a dance.
So the first quality for a sannyasin is to attain to a state of 'turn-on' and the second quality is to get off your ego trips.
Otherwise somebody can be turned on, but for wrong reasons. A politician can be very turned on for his ego trip. A money maniac can be very turned on and can always be rushing joyously around for more and more money. An adolf hitler is turned on - a power maniac. So, unless the ego is dropped and the ego trips are dropped, just turning on does not help. So the second principle is:
get off your trips, and then to be is very simple. One thing is to be joyous, another thing, not to be involved in ego trips... and the sannyasin is born. 'Asti' means to be, and all meditations lead to this space, 'asti'.
[An older sannyasin, who is returning to the west, says: I feel more like a two-year-old.]
That's perfectly right - you look it! Your age has changed within these few days. You came very ancient and old, and you are going young! Your face has really lost all worries.
[The sannyasin adds: If I stayed much longer I would be no age at all.]
You would be! So very good.... Keep on being young and a child. That is the most valuable thing - if one can persist in being a child. And keep the image of a child of three years old... because it is between three and four that civilisation enters.
Up to the third year a child lives in a totally different world: in the mysterious, in the wonderful, in the fantastic. The child lives in the psychedelic. All is full of colour and potentiality and poetry, and everything thrills him. It does not matter what it is - just pebbles on the seashore. Everything has immense beauty. The child has eyes for it. He is open from everywhere, he is not yet closed. He is not yet sophisticated and destroyed... he is still primitive.
It is always good to go for a walk with a three or two-year-old child and to commune with him, to see what he is doing, to see how he walks and how he becomes interested in everything. A butterfly or a flower or a dog barking and the child is involved with each moment so totally. Only the child knows how to live, or when one again becomes a child, one knows how to live. In between there is only misery and hell.
So keep this idea of a two or three-year-old. Let that be your reality and your chronological age just a social phenomenon, just a facade. Just from the outside be grown-up; from the inside remain a child. And when you are alone, drop all your grown-upness; it is not needed. Behave like a child.
And it will be good - play with small children.
Sometimes take them, go for a walk on the seashore or anywhere - in a garden - and just behave like them; don't force them to behave like you. Just follow them and you will find new insights arising in you.
You are close to a second birth, that's why you are feeling this. And when a man is born again, when one attains to a second birth in life, all is attained; there is nothing else to attain.
Don't allow anything to hinder it, because nothing is more valuable than this. And always remember jesus. He goes on saying to his disciples, 'Unless you are a child again, you will not enter into the kingdom of god.' Heaven is only for the innocent. For the clever and cunning and the calculating there is only hell.
Sometimes it will be very frightening to feel like a child because then you become so vulnerable, so open, and anybody can hurt you. You become so helpless again... but that helplessness is beautiful.
To be vulnerable is beautiful; to be hurt sometimes is beautiful. Just to avoid those hurts we become hard, we gather a crust, very steel-like, an armour. It is safe but it is dead.
So good, indivar. You are going in a really beautiful space! Remain in it, and invite it again and again.
Whenever you have an opportunity just become a child. In your bathroom, sitting in your tub, just be a child. Have all your toys around you!...
Much has to be done there - many people need helping. So just go on doing. You have become a channel for me and many people are coming; go on helping them. And remain unworried about everything. I will take care!
[A sannyasin says she feels afraid, as if she is dissolving, and her body is jerking a lot. Osho checks her energy.]
Nothing to be worried, nothing to be feared at all but something to be happy about. The energy is arising and you have to help it. If you are afraid then you will not help. If you are afraid you will start hindering it, you will start controlling it, and that will be dangerous.
The jerks will disappear once the energy has spread all over the spine. It is just at the base, very active, and you are holding it there because of fear. If you drop fear, it will start rising. For a few days you will find great jerks happening; you will become a jerk. But once it has spread all over the spine, jerks will disappear and then you will feel great peace and great power, both together.
And fear is natural, so I am not condemning it; I am just making you aware that you need not get into it too much. It is natural; something so much is happening that one tends to be afraid. Where will it lead? Where will it land one? One knows not.
If we know something, we are less afraid; if we don't know then we are more afraid. But no need to be worried. Something really beautiful is happening - help it! Whenever you are sitting alone, relax and let the jerks come. Invite them, cooperate with them. If your body is jerking, then help; rather than hindering, help. Sometimes lying down, let the jerks come; sometimes standing up let the jerks come; sometimes sitting let the jerks come. Allow it in as many postures as possible so the energy is spread sooner.
It will take a few days - not more than three weeks, mm? If you allow it and cooperate with it, within three weeks it will be all over you. Then the jerking will disappear and there will be very very calm power inside you. You will feel immensely powerful and at the same time immensely calm. That's the indication of something spiritual happening.
If there is only power then it is the mind. If it is only silence then too it is the mind; the mind can have it both ways. If the mind becomes very very skilled there is silence. If the mind becomes very very ecstatic there is power... but these are both mind polarities.
When both happen together - peace and power - which is a rare phenomenon... because they always happen separately; the mind cannot be both. Either it can be powerful or can be silent, peaceful. This togetherness is possible only in the beyond; the spirit can be both together.
So this should be your practice for three weeks, in as many postures - sometimes lying on your back, sometimes lying on your chest. Find out as many postures as you can. Invent them; there is no need to ask anybody, just invent. And you will find soon, within two, three days, in which postures it comes more. Then those are the postures to be followed. Drop those postures in which it is not much; choose those ones in which it comes more.
That's how yoga postures were discovered in the first place. But it is not always the same with everybody; everybody has to find his own postures. So play with postures and see. The criterion
to judge is that whenever the jerking comes with great energy, and shakes you completely like an earthquake, that is the right posture. Follow that posture more. Within three weeks you be settled.
[A sannyasin says her partner acts jealous, makes her more important than she is.]
Not jealous - I think he feels that he is inferior. You are using the wrong word. He thinks that you are a goddess and he is worthless. Is that what it is? (she nods) Then it is not jealousy!...
That too is a way of manipulating people - to make them very important. That's a kind of strategy, a very parasitical trip. When you make somebody very high, you have power over the person because it is your power now to keep him high or throw him down. If anybody - for example, [your partner] - puts you very high on a pedestal, you think he is making you powerful. But he is also becoming powerful, because only he can keep you on that pedestal, nobody else. And he knows that - that you will have to depend on him otherwise you will not be on the pedestal; you will be an ordinary woman. He has made a goddess of you! So it is a very very subtle strategy to keep control over you.
By being dependent on you, he makes you dependent on him. And you enjoy the trip - that he is making you so high. When you enjoy the trip, you have to fulfill a few conditions. For example, a goddess should not do a tantra group! That's so simple. So he is angry because you have gone against the rules of the game. He was making you a goddess and you participate in a tantra group?
It is okay for human beings but not for goddesses! So he will be angry, he will take revenge. He has invested too much in your godhood and now you behave like a woman.
This is the trick; this is very ancient. [He] has not invented it; it is very ancient. Man has always put women on a pedestal so that she cannot come down. Man has either worshipped woman or condemned her. Either she is a worm crawling on the earth or she is a goddess, but he never makes her equal to himself; that is dangerous. Both are okay - either she is very high in the sky, untouchable, or she is very low, again untouchable, but she is never equal. When a woman is very low she can be repressed, punished for anything that the man feels is wrong. Or she is a goddess; then she can be thrown from the pedestal - that too is a kind of punishment.
But woman needs to be equal to man - neither low nor high - and for that man is not ready, because to make the other equal means you cannot control her any more. You cannot control an equal. Low and high can both be controlled but the equal person is free; the equal is equal.
So get down from the pedestal. Just tell him that you are a human being, not a goddess. Now what are you doing? - you must be pretending to be a goddess, so you are cooperating with him. Don't cooperate! You simply tell [him], 'I am an ordinary woman as you are an ordinary man. I don't want to be worshipped like a goddess. I have all kinds of desires as any woman will have. I am just plain ordinary.' Get down from the pedestal rather than him throwing you; simply get down. You will feel good and you will unburden him also.
If he cannot love you, then he will find some other woman whom he can put on a pedestal and worship. He may be in need of a mother and not in need of a beloved; then that is his business.
But you get down from the pedestal. Never allow anybody to put you on high, otherwise he will
manipulate you. He will say, 'I have made you so high - now you have to follow me. Don't do this; that doesn't suit you. Don't do that; that is below you. Keep your status.'
So you enjoy the status but then you feel petrified. You would like to be an alive human being. So you are trying to do two contradictory things. If you want to be a fully warm-blooded woman, a real woman, then get down from the pedestal. All pedestals are a kind of disease I call 'pedestalitis'.
Get down and tell [him] that you are not going to become a goddess. Be natural and true and whatsoever happens has to be accepted. If he leaves you, that's his business. If he remains with you, you will be more free; he will be more free. And this will be helping him too... because he is also wrong. He will never be happy. First you put a woman on a pedestal; then you cannot make love to her. How can you make love to a goddess? - it looks ugly. You cannot make love to your mother and you have put her up as a mother, a mother superior. Then you cannot make love to her, or even if you do, you feel guilt. He will not be happy, because he will continuously suffer from inferiority; he has made you superior.
Tell him 'I am just an ordinary woman. I don't want any other respect.' That is the greatest respect we can pay to each other as human beings! That will help. And if some complexity arises, both come together, mm? Good!
[A sannyasin says that after she has done groups she slips back into her old space. Osho reminds her that the group can give you a new perspective, a new attitude towards things. It's up to you to discover which attitudes are helpful and to adopt them as guidelines in your life.... ]
For example, in a group you don't feel jealous; then don't feel jealous while you are outside. In a group if there are twelve people you become so much one with the energy you are not separate.
You lose yourself; you become part of the energy that is happening there. Then keep that in your awareness. While meditating become part of the whole meditator's group. While listening become part of all the people who are listening to me. While sitting with friends, let that be a group. While swimming let that be a group. Just learn the basic principles that help you: one, two, three - there are not many. Just remember those two, three principles and let your life be run on those three principles. Soon you will see that the whole of life is a group.
What can a group do? A group is such a small thing and such a big world is going on all around.
Why not make it a group? It is a group, and this whole ashram is a group.
But you are simply afraid that the old will come and you are not doing anything to prevent it coming.
You will have to learn that, otherwise the old can come; because if you start functioning with your old mind, again it will be there.
At least for a few months one has to function on new principles. Then the old becomes rotten, loses functioning, and you have a new mind to work with. You don't fall into the old again and again.
So tonight just sit silently, remember what things have helped you in the group. Write them down:
one, two, three - in short - just the basic principles about what had helped you, what made you feel so good. And then from tomorrow morning follow those things. Try that just for a few days, and you will be surprised - the whole of life is a group; it is a growth situation.
And if you start falling back, remind me again, mm?
[She has asked several times about being in love with someone who is already in a relationship, and Osho has told her to find someone else. Now she tells him she is still with this person, but feels guilty.]
Be! That is your business!...
There is no need to feel guilty... there is no need to feel guilty. Be with him - just don't bring that problem to me, mm? because then it has nothing to do with me. It is your business to decide. If some problem arises or something, don't bring that problem to me, that's all. No need to feel guilty.
If you want to do that, do it. A few people only learn by experiencing things, so you have to go through the experience, that's all. I cannot... even knowing that something is going wrong I cannot prevent you and I don't want to prevent you. Because if I do, you will always think I prevented you, otherwise there was going to be an incredible love affair or something. So go into it, and whatsoever happens is good. Just one thing: once you decide not to follow my advice, then about that thing never write to me again. Then it is your business; that is finished with me, mm ? But there is no need to feel guilt and there is no need to feel that you are doing something wrong. It is perfectly right - it is your decision. But then whatsoever happens is your responsibility; you have to bear it. I'm not concerned. Right? Good!
[Osho spoke about 'missing' in the discourse about a week ago. On another occasion he'd said that one shouldn't feel guilty for not following his advice, so a sannyasin took that as meaning she could do as she liked and disregard Osho's suggestions about her sadhana. You go on misinterpreting me, Osho told us.... ]
What I said was simply to help you so you don't become burdened with guilt. I have not said to start doing whatsoever you want to do. I have not said to go against my advice. I have simply said that if sometimes you feel like going against it and it is impossible for you to follow my advice... I am not saying that by not following my advice you will gain something; I am saying that you miss something.
But there is no need to feel guilty; missing is enough punishment. Many of you go on missing but you will never know what you are missing. Only I feel sad for you... only I feel great compassion when I see somebody missing. He is not even aware that he is missing. He may have missed by just a few inches. Home was very close but he will never become aware of it. He will never be able to look back.