Darshan 26 March 1976

[A sannyasin says she is very scared to go back to the West; she is scared of just about everything.]

Everything will be okay... don't be worried. The mind goes on imagining things, and ninety-nine percent never happen and that one percent that happens is always good.

Trust always that everything is going to happen - and that it is going to be good. Your trust will make it so. Trust is not simply trust - it is a creative force. when you trust, things start happening accordingly.

When you distrust, things start happening accordingly. Your distrust creates things. Everything is self-fulfilling. If you doubt, your doubt will fulfill itself. If you trust, your trust will fulfill itself.

This is my observation - that life goes on helping you, giving you whatsoever you ask. So never ask for the wrong thing, because it will be given to you. And when it is given, you will think that somebody else has done it to you. It is you in the first place who has started it. Whatsoever comes to happen, you sow the seeds. For example, if you are feeling very very afraid, you are creating seeds for something, and you are getting ready to be more afraid. Then anything will trigger it. If you want to be afraid, life will make you afraid. So always remember, never for a single moment distrust life. Life is beneficial... it is a blessing, a benediction.

It cannot be against you - you are part of it. You are all children of it so how can it be against you?

So don't carry unnecessary luggage in the mind. Drop that. Go unburdened, trusting, and you will see, mm? Everything will fulfill your trust.

And I am coming with you. So whenever you feel that again mistrust or doubt is coming, just keep it (a small wooden box he was handing her) on your head with both the hands, close your eyes, and remember me ....

[A sannyasin says: I don't really know what to do. I feel if I leave I am missing something. On the other hand I feel like giving something to the world. I've felt like studying acupuncture and Tai Chi...

and I want to find myself.]

Discovering oneself is not like discovering a thing. It is not something ready-made somewhere, and you open the box and it is there. Discovery is a creation. You have to create it, only then you discover it. So be creative. If you feel like serving people through acupuncture, perfectly good. That will be a self-discovery.

You cannot know yourself unless you accept the challenges of life, move in many dimensions, face many situations, encounter many problems... many times go astray fall, stand again, are defeated but still go on fighting and are not finally defeated. The search is a process dynamic.

Many people have the wrong notion - as if the self is there and you just put the curtain aside and you will find it.

It is not there; you have to create it continuously. If you create a poetry you create a self by the side of it. When the poetry is born, it is not only the poetry that is born - the poet is also born simultaneously. When you create a piece of sculpture, it is not only the piece that is born, but the creator inside you is also born.

When a child is born to a woman, the birth is double-edged. Something else is also simultaneously coming into being - that is the motherhood of the woman. If the woman wants to discover her motherhood, it is impossible without giving birth to a child.

So self-discovery is a process of self-creation. Each day you will come to yourself again and again, in new ways, in new nuances, new shades of being.

Acupuncture can be very very good - and Tai Chi is also good; it will be a help to the acupuncture.

It will centre you and you will be able to help more people.

But don't go on continuously thinking and wavering, because that time is lost. Do something. Even if you feel after working for one year that it is not for you, better to leave it. That one year working will be helpful; even if you leave it you would have learned something. If you go on thinking what to do, what not to do, you are getting into the habit of indecision. It may become habitual; it can become like a chronic disease. There are people I know who have been waiting their whole lives, but the decision just hasn't come. They have postponed for tomorrow... tomorrow... and that tomorrow never comes.

[A sannyasin, recently arrived from England, said that he had been working as a psychiatric nurse, but had resigned finally through a sense of frustration with the nursing administration. He said that with a fellow sannyasin he had begun to introduce encounter techniques and Dynamic meditation to the patients.]

Much can be done... psychiatric patients can be helped tremendously through Dynamic meditation.

And in the beginning it is going to be so, mm? because science moves with very orthodox ideas.

It has to be so. Science has to be very cautious, and has to experiment. Only when something

becomes absolutely certain, then science decides for it. And it is good - otherwise everything will be changing so often that it will become almost impossible to know what is what. Science has to be orthodox; it has to cling to very conventional methods. But once you can prove something experimentally, then your method also becomes conventional. Once science accepts it, then it will cling to it also.

So don't be worried about it... and don't feel hopeless about it. Be here for these three months and meditate as deeply as you can, and when you go back, try to find ways ....

[Osho went on to say that in fact many people in psychiatric hospitals are not really mad, they just need a channel for suppressed energy, which society will not allow them (see 'Hammer on the Rock' where Osho expands on this).]

If you can find some acceptable ways and means for people to cathart easily without any condemnation, without anybody saying that they are mad; if they can meditate ....

The word 'meditation' is beautiful because it doesn't condemn you, and it has a sacredness about it... a certain sanctity, a purity. It is not just something that a madman is going to do. Everybody who is really contemplative, has some attitude towards life, wants to change life, will have to do it.

So if you can help a few people, just experimentally, and if they can come out of their neurosis or psychosis, or whatsoever they call it, then hospitals and people who are in authority will start listening to you; there is no problem about it. But they have to be cautious, so don't become antagonistic about them. They cannot allow everybody and anybody to experiment, because we are playing with people's lives.

So it will be good if you make contact with some avant-garde psychoanalyst, and you can start working with him in some clinic on a chosen few people, experimentally. Then you can report to journals and the medical associations about what has happened. We have many sannyasins who can be helpful.

A technique is just dead... just an excuse. The most important thing is your love, your trust. In that trust the technique works and functions... becomes alive, gets roots in your being.

Remember this always - if you can find a living master, forget all about scriptures. The living master is the only scripture which is alive. Read his heart and allow your heart to be read by him. Be in a communion - that is the only

[A newcomer said he felt he was on an adventure in self-discovery and that he hoped much would happen to him.]

It is going to happen... just remain open to it. We go on missing many things just by being closed.

Life goes on giving to you in abundance, but if you don't receive it, you will miss it. So just a receptivity is needed, a passivity is needed. One should remain open and not close one's doors, that's all.

[Osho went on to say that if you close the door against the enemy, it is also closed against the friend.

You will not be harmed but you will not be blissful either .... ]

And that's how humanity has become petrified. We are afraid of hate, so we have become closed for love. We are afraid of death, so we have become closed for life. If you open the door, it is open to both death and life, because death and life are not really two. They are two aspects of the same coin So when you open to God, you are open to the devil also. And when you are open to light, you are open to darkness also.

If you choose, and if you insist that you would like only to be open to light, you will remain closed.

So this is the point to understand.

And I am ready... if you are receptive, things will happen.

[A visitor says: I've always had this fear... of surrendering.... I've been deliberating a lot about whether to become a sannyasin but I think I've been making it too serious.]

It is... it is serious. And surrender is always difficult - that's why it is so valuable. One is always afraid of surrender, but the fear will go only if you surrender; there is no other way.

If you are afraid of the dark, go into the dark. Sit in the dark and you come to understand, so there is no fear. In fact the darkness is so beautiful, so velvety, so serene and so silent. No light is so tremendously beautiful as darkness. If the fear is there, go into it. If you are afraid of the cemetery, go and sit there and meditate; and soon it will disappear, because only experience can be of any help.

So if you are afraid of surrender, surrender. If you are afraid of sannyas, take sannyas (laughter).

Jump into it and see what happens, mm? Ready? Come here!

[Osho writes down his name .... ]

Now I will take care of you. This will be your name: Swami Anand Govindo.

It means blissful Govind. Govind is one of the names of God, so'blissful god'.

And forget the old completely, because just forgetting the old name helps tremendously. Something fresh starts, from A B C, as if you are reborn... a clean sheet with no hangover from the past. As if the old is dead and you are not concerned. Just get in tune with the new.

[An Aum group member says: I don't want... I feel like I don't want to say anything because it felt so good that.... ]

Keep quiet! (a chuckle) Keep quiet, mm? Whenever it feels very good, keep quiet. Once you say it you can disturb it.

Even to say that you are feeling good is a disturbance. You have already made it the past; you have already come out of it. You have already started looking at it as an observer, a spectator. You are starting to analyse it. You are no more deeply in it, a participant. So remember this, whenever you are feeling very good there is no need to bring language, mind, analysis into it. There is no need to label it 'it is good', because no label can be true to it. The feeling of goodness is so infinite that when

you call it good you have already made it mediocre. When you feel for somebody, to say 'I love you' is to make it profane. You have already made it rotten, mm? The word corrupts.

Just show it by your full being. Enjoy it. Let the other feel it... but don't say anything about it. Once uttered, beautiful and great experiences become trivial. That's why Lao Tzu says 'The Tao that can be said is no more Tao'. The truth that can be said is already untrue. Keep quiet and go back, mm?

(chuckling) Good, Prem.

[Osho speaks to another sannyasin:]

Everything is going well... but what happened to your clothes? (He was wearing a white shirt and orange trousers) It is a disturbance in your energy... a very subtle disturbance. You may not even be aware of it right now, but it is a disturbance. My insistence for something is not just insistence for a colour. It has some deep significance with body chemistry, your psychology. I would like you to remain covered with orange, mm?

[A sannyasin who had written to Osho earlier about her relationships with both men and women, said that she felt more a need to be close and loving with people, rather than being concerned with whether it was a man or a woman with whom she became sexually involved. Osho checked her energy.]

Good... perfectly good.

Don't make any conscious decision. The energy is flowing so perfectly. So don't make any conscious decision because that will be a constriction on you. So man or woman, or no man, no woman.... As I see it, sex is going to disappear very soon, so there is no need to make any conscious decision whether to be hetero or homo. Whatsoever happens, allow it... no judgement. And this will be helpful because soon you will be able to transcend.

I don't see much of a clinging with sexuality. The energy is coming up so beautifully that soon you will become asexual. Closeness will be needed, but that is not a problem. With whomsoever you feel friendship, you have it. But this much remember, don't make any decision for homo or hetero.

If a man comes by and you feel good, good. Feeling good is good, mm? And flowing is good. And soon you will have the understanding when bodily sex will become almost meaningless, so don't be afraid of that either. That is one of the most beautiful states.

I'm not against sex, but there is a point of transcendence. And that point of transcendence is what is really meant in old religions by celibacy, brahmacharya. It is not a repression, it is not a suppression of sex energy; rather, you have gone beyond it. And the energy is going so high that it is difficult to bring it to the biological level. But that is not to be worried about... you simply float naturally.

[A sannyasin says: I was a christian missionary and in some ways it was very very good.... But in other ways it really crushed my personality... I've been loosening up a lot and am able to get into deeper relationships with men but I'm still very very tense with women.]

That will go. Because to be a christian missionary... is to be in a great trouble (laughter).lt makes the mind very narrow, very repressed. And even if you get out of it, it is not so easy to get out, because it continues like a shadow. It becomes part of your blood and bones... the conditioning goes very deep. Sometimes you can even move exactly to the opposite, but still the conditioning goes on influencing you. You can react, but in your reaction also, the conditioning will go on controlling you in subtle ways.

Just one thing - it will be good if you mix with women, make friends with women, and don't get too friendly with men because that will be an avoidance. All these religions have, in a certain way, homosexual tendencies... man meeting man. The world has been made in such a way that it is almost homosexual. Men's clubs are only for men. Monks live in one monastery where no woman is allowed.

[The sannyasin replies: Well, it wasn't that deep.]

No, but still, the whole milieu is that way. And deep down, subtle barriers are created between man and woman, and because one is not aware, the barriers are stronger. If you are aware, they are not so strong. But they are below the level of awareness; they are subconscious.

So meet women; go out of the way to meet women. Make friendships, but don't be worried right now about love relationships. First learn friendship, and out of friendship, let your love relationship grow.

A love relationship in itself is a troublesome thing; it carl put you off. And then the old conditioning will say 'Listen, look what happened! I was right and you were misguided. This is what happens in love - just misery and nothing else'.

So don't take that jump directly. Make more friends so that you become relaxed. Do a few groups...

and Rolfing will help. We have a Rolfing course here - deep massage - that will help you very much. Because this is the problem: when your mind is trained in a certain way, your body also learns a certain way of structure; it corresponds with the mind. You can change the mind but the body remains the old; it doesn't change so easily.

Rolfing changes your body also, and once the body structure is changed, you feel more flowing. It is a very deep massage which goes to the very bones. It is destructuring the body to restructure it again. And every christian missionary needs it (laughter).

[The sannyasin adds: For so long I've been doing social work... and there are some other people too who are in trouble and it has fallen on me... I just feel that I don't want to help, but.... ]

You get out of it! That is your training of being a christian - you will get hooked again and again.

Just drop out of it! For six months, no service. Be selfish. Just live for yourself - don't care for the world. After six months I will see, and then I will give you many people you can serve (laughter).

It happens that if you have a certain habit, you will find situations immediately. It is not that anybody is forcing these situations on you. Just look - we have three or four hundred sannyasins... someone goes into jail, and you are caught! You catch the situation. Give that missionary work to someone else.

I am not against service, but service is secondary. One should become centred first, otherwise it can be a distraction and can become anti-growth.

[A sannyasin says: I'm enjoying paradise!... We will probably have to go back to the States... but it is going to be joyous.]

Mm, you have to work for me there. Much work has to be done, because I am not coming. So a few people who understand me and love me should go and spread me. And keep me within you. There is only one way: spread me far and wide, mm?