Chapter 24
[A sannyasin sings a love song in French to Osho. She has brought a translator with her. ]
When one talks about love, there is no need to translate it.
... A few things can be understood without knowing the language, and those are the same few things that cannot be translated.
That's why poetry is impossible to translate, and a song still more difficult, because the words can be translated but not the rhythm. The mind can be translated but not the heart. The heart has only one language; it is neither French nor English. The language of the heart is the language of existence...
[To a sannyasin who is pregnant]
How is the child growing inside?
... You have started feeling him?
[She answers: Yes, I can definitely feel him.]
Sometimes just lie and put it (one of Osho's boxes) where you feel the child, and just relax so I can start working on the child, mm?
[She asks: Are there any groups I can do while I'm pregnant, or any meditations?]
Group therapies won't do. Do you like Humming? (the Nadabrahma meditation) You can do that - with the group and at home. Anything like humming, singing... if you feel, a little dancing. You
can join the music group in the ashram. Anything concerned with music will be good, because any therapy will be too hard for the child. Something soft - these therapies are hardware; something soft is needed and all these meditations are hard.
If more people get pregnant I will have to develop some soft methods.
[A sannyasin says: I'm grateful for the exercises. First the Devavani which was helpful to get energy, and then crossing the eyes. It was very helpful for me to come out of the mind....
There were experiences with drugs... is it good to continue?]
It is better not to use drugs because sometimes they can give you certain experiences, and that's the problem. They can give certain experiences, but once you have them this way, it is very difficult to reach them naturally - without drugs - and to have an experience is not the basic thing; to grow through it is the basic thing.
You can have an experience through the drug, but you don't grow. The experience comes to you; you don't go to the experience. It is just like a beautiful dream. It is good, there is nothing wrong in it, but the wrong in it is that by and by you think that this is the real thing; then you miss something.
It is as if you have seen the Himalayas in a vision - beautiful as far as it goes, but it goes not very far. You remain the same. By and by if the vision becomes your reality, you are losing something because you will become addicted to it No, it is better to go to the Himalayas. It is hard; it is a long journey. Drugs make it too short. They are almost violent; they force something premature. The experience through drugs is almost abortive, mm? It is an abortion; they force... so it is better not to. It is better to go the long way because only through struggle you grow. An integration arises in you... you become crystallised.
That's the real thing - experience is irrelevant. The real thing is growth. Always remember that my whole emphasis is on growth, not on experiences. Experiences can be had through many ways.
You can have them through drugs; you can have them simply through shaktipat - through somebody else's power you can have them but that's not good.
And to ask for experiences means you are still in the mind. The mind is always asking for more and more experiences, more new experiences; it is infatuated with experiences - and we have to go beyond the mind.
So the real spiritual dimension is not the dimension of experience. In fact there is nothing to experience. Only you - not even you, just pure consciousness with no limit, with no object to it...
just pure subjectivity, just being. Not that you experience beautiful things; you are beautiful but you don't experience beautiful things. You are tremendously beautiful but nothing happens. All around is tremendous emptiness. Spirituality has nothing to do with experiences; that's why drugs can never be spiritual. If you understand the point then no technique is spiritual, because all techniques will give you experiences.
[The sannyasin asks: The pyramid too?]
Everything - good on the way, better than drugs, but finally one has to remember that everything has to be dropped so you remain in your total purity. Even a spiritual experience corrupts; it is a disturbance. Something happens and the duality arises. When something happens that you like, the desire to have it more arises. When something happens that makes you feel beautiful, the fear that you may lose it arises, so all corruption comes in - greed, fear. With the experience, everything of the mind comes back... again you are trapped.
My whole effort here is to take you beyond - beyond the experience - because only then are you beyond the mind, and there is silence. When there is no experience there is silence. When there is no bliss then there is bliss. Because bliss is not an experience; you don't feel that you are blissful. If you feel, it is just happiness. It will go, will wither away, and you will be left in pitchdark.
So good, continue, but by and by we have to drop all. First drop drugs, mm? Then I will help you to drop methods. And one day this should be the goal - that everything has been dropped. You are alone in your house - with no furniture, with no experiences - and then you experience the ultimate.
It is not an experience, that is just a way of saying. But good... it has been good.
[An Italian sannyasin said through an interpreter that she had been experiencing a difficult few months in Italy, though now she was feeling a little better.
She said that she felt at some stage she had lost contact with herself: she didn't know who she was, where she was, and didn't feel that she was authentic with people. She had lost enthusiasm for life, had felt fear and sadness too.
Osho said he didn't feel there was any problem that she was in fact better off than she had been when last in Poona. She agreed saying that she was feeling that something of significance was happening to her.]
Something is centring, something is getting rooted, and when it happens one becomes a little indifferent to things because the energy starts moving inwards; it cannot move outwards.
When it happens one loses one's identity, one is not aware of who one is; there is a confusion.
Because a new identity is going to arise, the old will drop. You are just in the middle of the process.
So it is good - you should be happy about it.
[Osho suggested that she do some groups and that in the camp she should do only those meditations she felt like .... ]
If you force anything then your centring will be disturbed. Simply move spontaneously: if you feel like doing, do; then it will be helpful to the centring. If you don't feel like doing, don't.
[A sannyasin says: I thought I had many questions to ask you, but now all questions have gone.]
Mm, that's my trick - otherwise I will be in difficulty. Whenever you come I play a trick and all the questions disappear. (chuckling) Yes, I have to do, otherwise, just see - so many people, and thousands of questions!
[Another sannyasin says: I want a wife. I want to be loved - in a physical way.
I mean, I feel spiritual love I feel love with everyone, but I want this....
but I'm also very particular, you know!]
I can give you a really dangerous wife!...
Then you will be very happy being alone! You need some experience of misery - that seems the whole thing. Otherwise you are going so well - why be worried?
It happens, whenever you are going well the mind goes on creating some trouble or other. You don't need... And any woman will create trouble for you. But if you want to go through it, you come back!
This time you think about it - just thinking will be enough. Just think of the misery a woman can give. (chuckling)
[the sannyasin answers: I had a marriage once and it was fun.]
Now you think it is fun, because people have very short memories about marriage. One tends to forget these things. Relive your marriage experience. Rethink about your friends who are married and are suffering, (laughter from the group) and then come back - then it is up to you!
But think about it because I will be ready. If you say yes I have already the woman in mind!