Towards Nothingness

The first question:

It's natural. When you are doing something and you are succeeding in it, a subtle pride arises. It is nothing unnatural, so don't be too much concerned with it. If you become serious about it, then it can become a permanent guest in the house. If you accept it as a natural thing -- you walk, your shadow follows -- if you accept the ego just like a shadow, then there is no problem.

The shadow has never created any problem for anybody, but if you start getting frightened about your own shadow then you will be in trouble. If you start fighting with your own shadow, you are doomed to fail. Never fight with the ego.

You can pretend to be humble, you can impose a sort of egolessness on your ego,, but it will remain there, and it will go on disrupting and sabotaging your life. Just try to understand it. It is natural! You are succeeding, you feel good; you are progressing, you feel good; you are growing, you feel good!

It is said that when God created the world and He looked around, He said, "Very good! A beautiful thing I have done."

Nothing wrong about it! You paint a picture, then you look from many angles -- you feel good; you have succeeded in materializing something which was immaterial. A vision, a dream, you have been able to bring to the world. When you compose a poem, you feel good! Nothing is wrong about it. Just remember that the shadow is not you.

This is your shadow, certainly -- but the shadow is not you. The ego is a shadow. It is not you. This remembrance is enough -- there is no need to fight because a shadow does not exist in the first place. It is a simple negativity, it is just absence. It has no positivity in it.

So if you fight a negative thing, you will be defeated -- because there is no way to defeat a negative thing. That which is not cannot be defeated. That's the problem.

That which is not cannot be defeated. And if you start fighting with it, you will be defeated. It is just like fighting darkness: there is no need! The problem is arising because you have an underlying notion that the ego should not be there. Why? Why not accept it also? Just remember it is not you. The problem arises only when you get identified with your shadow.

You are walking, the sun is there, and a shadow is falling. Somebody walks upon your shadow -- do you fight with him? You know it is a shadow! He has not walked on you.

Somebody walks on your ego: don't fight. He has not walked on you. Somebody insults you: it hurts because you get identified with the shadow -- otherwise there is nothing.

Somebody walks on your shadow: the hurt is imaginary and is a consequence of getting oneself identified with the shadow.

"I have developed a bad case of seeker's SHADOW."

You are condemning it. You are creating the problem and anxiety for yourself. Accept it! It is part of a natural flow. But don't put the shadow ahead of you! DON'T become a shadow of the shadow! -- that's all. You remain yourself.

"It constantly tries to congratulate me..."

Accept its congratulation! and give a heartfelt thankyou to it.

"You hammer me and it falls apart..."

I don't hammer the ego, I never hammer the ego -- I simply hammer the identification. I am not so foolish as to hammer your ego; that would be hammering your shadow. I simply hammer the bridge that you have created between the existential and the non- existential, between the essential and the non-essential, between the real and the unreal, between the fact and the fiction -- between you and the shadow. I hammer only that bridge. And, of course, it falls apart, because it is just an idea. It has no reality: just an idea that 'this is me'.

If you want to do anything about the ego, the only thing that I feel can be helpful is: laugh at it. It is ridiculous to get identified with the shadow -- simply ridiculous. But don't get serious. Accept it and you will be delivered from it.

I have heard:

It is said that a French prince visited a jail. In honor of the royal guest, the prison warden offered to release any prisoner the prince might designate. To pick out that prisoner, the prince began interviewing each of the men privately, asking, "Why are you here?"

"I'm innocent, my lord!" cried one. "I've been framed!" pleaded another. Perjury, prejudice, injustice and oppression were reasons given by the convicts for their being in prison.

Only one man told a different story. "Your highness," he replied, "I deserve to be here and I have no complaint. In my time I have been a wicked, desperate murderer. It is a great mercy, both to society and to myself, that I am here."

"You wicked wretch!" the prince replied. "What a pity you should be confined among so many honest citizens. You admit yourself that you are evil enough to corrupt them all. I can't allow you to remain in their company another day. Guard! This is the man I wish released!"

Once you accept the reality, you are relieved, released; the prison exists no more. So don't try to be humble! Just know that ego arises. What can you do? You are not creating it.

It is just like when a wave moves: in the wake another wave follows it upside-down -- that is the wake. It is natural. When there arises a big mountain, a valley follows it. The valley is nothing but the mountain upside-down. It is part of it. When you move, in the wake your shadow, your valley, follows. You simply accept it! Mountains are not crying tears that 'why do valleys exist?' And neither are waves worried.

The very idea that you have to get rid of the ego is wrong. Drop that very idea! When ego arises, simply note the fact that the shadow is falling -- and remember not to get

identified with it; remember that you are separate. This is enough. And the true humbleness is born out of this realization.

It is not an effort against the ego that brings humbleness. If you fight the ego, it can bring you a certain type of humbleness -- but then there will be another ego arising and that will be the ego of the humble person. The pious ego: "I am the most humble person in the world. Nobody is humble in comparison to me. I am at the top." Again the ego has arisen.

Ego will always arise whatsoever you do.

Doing brings ego. Ego is the shadow of action. And there is only one thing that is not doing and that is awareness, watchfulness. The only thing that is not part of the world of action is pure awareness. No shadow is created by pure awareness. It is so pure that light can pass through it -- it is transparent and no shadow is created.

Shadow is created by solid things. The more solid a thing is, the more shadow it creates.

Your body creates a shadow; your mind also creates a shadow -- the ego is the shadow of the mind. If you become more aware, if you simply watch the mind, its functioning, its mechanism, then you are moving beyond the mind. You become just pure awareness, transparent. Then there is no shadow.

So just laugh at it. And if it tries to seduce you, have a good laugh! at your own absurdities. But don't become a warrior and don't start fighting with it.

The second question:

The first thing: I have never yet given sannyas to anybody who was awake -- all are sleeping babies! Some are younger, some are older; that is immaterial. What does it matter -- a baby of seven months, or an old man of seventy years? Sleep is the same.

Yes, I was also puzzled in the beginning when some mother would come with a sleeping baby. Then I pondered over it: why should I say no? because that would be unjust to the sleeping baby when I go on giving sannyas to so many sleeping people. So I decided to give sannyas to babies.

Another thing: they may be asleep, but they are more innocent. And innocence can receive sannyas in a deeper way than cunningness, cleverness. You are also asleep; the only difference is that you are more cunning. The children are more innocent.

You are asleep but you pretend that you are awake.

It happened: A friend came to see Albert Einstein; he had not seen him for two, three years. A baby had been born to the friend's wife and they brought the baby also. Just seeing Einstein. the baby started crying and became very much afraid and wanted to escape from there.

The father and the mother felt a little embarrassed, but Einstein said, "Don't be disturbed by it. In fact, he is the first person who has told his views about me so clearly. Others come; they may not like me but they smile -- they are untrue. They talk against me outside, in my absence; and yet here they praise me. Your child is the first person I have

met who has simply said whatsoever his opinion is. I am happy to meet such a true person. Don't be worried about it."

Children are simple, innocent. And sannyas is something which can be received only in deep innocence.

The more you grow in experience, the more cunning you become. Then even when you take sannyas, it is not a jump -- it is a calculated step. You think about it. You ponder about it. You think for and against, pro and con. And then you think that it seems beneficial; or you think that it doesn't seem beneficial. Then you decide. Your sannyas is a conclusion.

A conclusion is always of the mind. There have only been a few people who have taken sannyas without thinking. I say to everybody, when people come to me I say to them: "Would you like to think about it? or are you ready?" A few people say they are ready; they don't want to think about it. Then it is reaching to a deeper level of your being.

When Maneesha came first, I asked her would she like to think about it. She said, "What -- think? I am fed up with thinking! If you can accept me, I am ready." This is innocence.

She is again behaving like a child. The sannyas will have a totally different meaning to her.

I have heard:

A backwoods preacher was exhorting his followers about sin and morality. Finally he demanded, "I want every virgin in this congregation to stand up!" Nobody moved.

Again he shouted, "Every virgin in this congregation, rise!" Finally a woman with an infant in her arms got up. "Didn't you hear me, woman?" yelled the preacher. "I said the virgins!" Replied the woman, "How do you expect a three-month old baby to get up by herself?"

Now that baby was the only virgin in the whole church -- but, of course, a baby cannot get up by herself.

When somebody brings a child to me for sannyas, many times I say no. I say wait a little.

Unless I feel that the child is ready -- of course, the child cannot come by himself -- unless I feel the child has moved in his past lives closer and closer and closer in his search, and he is ready... otherwise, I say wait, let the child grow a little.

Not only to sleeping babies -- sometimes I have given sannyas to babies in the womb. If I feel... and to feel a child is very simple. It is very difficult to feel you, because you are broadcasting such confusing statements about yourself -- from your left side something else, from your right side something else, from your back something else, from your front something else. You are contradictory! You go on broadcasting contradictory vibes. It is very difficult to make certain of where you are, what you want. And the complexity is even doubled, because one moment you are one thing, another moment you are another thing. Like a chameleon you go on changing your colors.

A baby is simple, has one taste, has one color. If I feel, if the vibes show me, that it will fit with his life pattern in the future, only then do I give sannyas.

And one thing more has to be understood: my sannyas is not in any way imposing something on you. It is simply conferring freedom on you. By giving you sannyas I am not giving you an ideology -- I am just giving you courage to get free of all ideologies.

By giving sannyas to you I am not giving you a certain religion -- Hindu, Mohammedan, Christian -- I am simply giving you courage to be an individual, to be a unique individual.

My sannyas is not a character that will confine you. My sannyas is an awareness that will give you more and more freedom. And if one day you feel that my sannyas is making a prison for you, then drop out of it -- that will be the true sannyas spirit. But never allow it to become an imprisonment.

The child will grow. One day, if he feels that it is not for him, he is free. There is no legal bondage in it. He can simply drop out of it! If he feels in tune with it, he can go deeper into it.

I have no ideology to teach to you. I am not a teacher at all. That's the difference between a teacher and a master. A teacher has an ideology; he tries to condition your mind; he wants to give you certain concepts. A master simply wants to uncondition your mind; he does not want to give you any concepts; he wants to give you clarity of vision.

So if you are thinking that by becoming a sannyasin you have attained to all the answers of life, you are completely missing me. I have not given a single answer to you. I may have provoked many questions in you, but I have not provided any answer. I may have filled you with deep wonder about life; I may have awakened you towards the grandeur of reality -- but I have not given you a philosophy.

I have not given you, in fact, anything. I may have taken many things away from you. I am not giving you new clothes: I am giving you nudity. I would like you to move towards truth naked -- naked of all theories, concepts, philosophies. A naked human being with an innocent heart, with a deep courage. Looking at life as it is. Not projecting any idea of one's own.

So my sannyas is not like a baptism where you become a Christian, or the thread- ceremony where you become a Hindu. You don't become part of any organization -- I have none. By becoming a sannyasin, you simply come in tune with me, you simply start moving with me. You simply allow me to take you to the truth that I have seen. You simply allow me to take you to the open sky where I found something which satisfies utterly.

And a child is more capable of that than an old man.

The third question:

It depends on YOU. You can be conditioned by me -- but am not conditioning you. Let that be absolutely clear!

You can be conditioned by me. If you are listening only through the mind you will be conditioned, because the mind goes on gathering knowledge. The mind is very suggestible, corruptible, vulnerable. If you are listening to me through your mind, through your reason, through your argumentative faculty, through your intellect, you will be conditioned. Even if you are not convinced by me, even if you go thinking that you are not convinced by me, still you will be conditioned. Maybe against me, but that too will condition you. For or against does not matter: if you listen through the mind you will be conditioned -- because mind is the faculty of conditioning.

But there is another way to listen also -- and it is not of the mind, it is of the heart. It is not through argumentativeness, through knowledge -- it is through pure heart-trust. Then you listen to me not like a philosopher but like a poet. You are never conditioned by a poet.

You can enjoy poetry, but you are never conditioned by it. You are not conditioned by roseflowers -- you can enjoy, you can celebrate, but you are not conditioned. A beautiful sunrise or a sunset, or a full moon in the night -- are you being conditioned? These green trees all around, do they condition you? You can celebrate, you can enjoy, you can dance with them, you can sing with them, but you are not conditioned by them.

Think of me as a poet, a painter, a dancer; never think about me as a philosopher or a theologian. I am not. What I am doing here is poetry, sheer poetry. I am not giving you any ideology, so there is no question of being conditioned. But you have to look in the right way, otherwise there is every possibility of your being conditioned by me.

If you listen to me just to gather knowledge, you will be conditioned. If you listen to me in such tremendous depth and profundity that it is not a question of gathering knowledge but a meeting of the hearts, a communion.... I am not here, the speaker is not here. Long ago the speaker disappeared. All that is coming out is coming out of a tremendous emptiness, nothingness. Look into my eyes and you can feel it! And if you are also empty while listening to me, who is going to be conditioned and by whom?

If you put aside your mind... in fact, if you are really intelligent you will always put your mind exactly where you have left your shoes -- leave your mind also there. I would like Krishna to put a notice there: Shoes and Minds are to be Left Here at the Gate. If you bring your shoes it is not such a big thing, it is not so profane. But if you bring your minds here, then you never come to me.

Minds are conditioned, always conditioned; they are ready to be conditioned. Minds are bio-computers: they go on absorbing whatsoever is heard. It is a mechanical thing. Put the mind off while listening to me. Be a heart -- love, trust. Listen to me in deep emptiness. Don't be there! I am not here -- don't you be there. And then something will happen, something will transpire between me and you. Between two nothingnesses the river of truth starts flowing. And it is never conditioning: it is always unconditioning. It will wash your whole being, it will give you a shower; it will cleanse you, purify you.

The questioner says: "I am a professor of psychology."

That's a problem. It is really a great disease, psychology. It is almost pathological. I feel sorry for you. If you had had cancer that would not have been so bad, because the cancer can be treated. But a professor of psychology? -- impossible! No treatment exists yet, because this disease called 'psychology' is so invisible and so subtle that it is very difficult to operate upon it.

'The professor of psychology' means one who has been conditioned so deeply that he does not believe that he exists. He believes only in body and mind. He does not believe in the soul; he does not believe that there is really anything transcendental to the mind. And I am saying leave your mind where you leave your shoes -- how can a professor of psychology do that? Because if he leaves the mind where he leaves his shoes, he will have to sit there, he cannot come here -- because he believes only in the mind, nothing

beyond it. He does not believe in anything transcending mind. Then, of course, he has no way to escape from conditioning.

Everything will condition him. Whatsoever he reads, whatsoever he hears, whatsoever he sees, will be a conditioning. Now he is caught in an imprisonment -- because he does not know that there is something beyond also. The beyond within -- he is not aware of that.

He does not believe in awareness.

You can look into the books of psychology: you will see chapters on memory, you will see chapters on imagination, dream, instinct, sex, and a thousand other things, but you will never find a chapter on awareness. No -- that doesn't exist. You will find everything calculated, only the calculator is not there. You will find all the observations categorized, only the observer is not there.

The psychologist does not believe in himself. This is absurd! He does not believe in the observer; he believes only in the observations. He says: "I have seen this"; but if you ask: "Is there a seer within you?" he says, "No." Then who has seen this? The very name 'psychology' is a misnomer, because 'psyche', from where the word comes, means soul -- and soul is not a part of psychology. The name should be changed.

It is not the right name for it. Psychology either has to find a soul or has to drop the very name 'psychology'.

And if you are just a student, the disease is not very advanced; but if you are a professor then you have gone beyond the point of return. It is very difficult for a professor to relax back, to see things again as they are. He knows so much. He has accumulated so much knowledge, so many screens are there on his eyes. It is difficult to find more blind people than professors.

I have been a professor, that's why I say so -- I know. I know from within. I have lived with professors for many years. They are the most unintelligent people in the world. Even a farmer in a village seems to be more intelligent, because he is more responsive to the reality. A professor never responds to reality. He is always reacting out of his knowledge.

So whatsoever I am saying, the professor will be interpreting it in his own ways. Right now, whatsoever I am saying, he will be interpreting and classifying and he will be saying yes or no. And he will be classifying me: to what school I belong, to what ideology, what I am talking about. He is not listening! It is very difficult for a professor to listen: he is so full of inner noise, inner chattering. The noise is so much that nothing ever enters in him.

It happened:

"Whisky and whisky alone is responsible for your deplorable condition!" the judge admonished the drunken prisoner, who was a professor -- maybe a professor of psychology.

"Glad to hear you say that, judge," beamed the drunk. "My wife says it's all my fault!"

If you have a certain idea in the mind, that idea will function as a nucleus: it will gather things around it which are supportive to it; it will drop things which are not supportive to it. A man who wants to come closer to truth has to drop all ideas, otherwise his own prejudices will be confirmed again and again. You can move with a prejudice and you will always find evidence for it.

Now the drunk used to think that he alone was not responsible, and the judge says: "Whisky and whisky alone is responsible for your deplorable condition."

"Glad to hear you say that, judge," beamed the drunk. "My wife says it's all my fault!" If you come with a mind, you will go with a bigger mind. If you come with a no-mind, you will go with a bigger no-mind. It depends on you: how you come to me, what you bring to me, what you are ready to offer to me -- a mind? then there is no communication.

You will gather a few bits from here and there, and you will collect them in your old ways. It will be addition to your knowledge; it will not be a revelation, it will not give you anything new. It will not be a breakthrough.

But if you can listen to me just listening, not thinking, not interpreting, not classifying -- just listening as if you don't know anything; listening in deep silence with no knowledge interfering in between -- you will not be conditioned at all.

Innocence can never be conditioned. Only cunningness can be conditioned. Innocence is such freedom! It listens, but it remains above. Innocence is like a lotus flower: it remains in the water, but untouched by it. Then you can move around the world, you can go and listen to many people, you can read a thousand and one books, you can study all that down the centuries the human mind has invented, discovered, systematized, and you will remain unconditioned, you will remain free. Something within you will remain above, distant.

A habitual drunk staggered up to the front door of a home late one night, and kept rapping loudly until a lady in pyjamas came to answer.

"Par'n me, ma'am," he lushes, "this is an emergency. Can you tell me where Mulla Nasrudin lives?"

"Why," she exclaimed, "you are Mulla Nasrudin yourself!" "I know, I know," he replied, "but that still doesn't answer the question -- where does he live?"

You are a soul -- which canNOT be corrupted. Innocence is its very nature. It is just like the sky: you see clouds come and go, and the sky remains just the same; it is not corrupted by the clouds. Dust storms arise, and settle back; the sky is not corrupted by dust storms. How many things have not happened under the skies? Millions of things have happened -- nothing has corrupted it. It remains pure.

The inner sky is also pure, just like the outer sky. Thousands of things go on happening, but the innermost core remains virgin. There is no way to corrupt it.

That's why I say: if you are too much addicted, drunk with psychology, then it will be difficult to understand what I am saying. But if you can put aside your head for a while, if you can behead yourself for a while, if you can approach towards me directly, immediately, then you will hear what I am saying, you will understand what I am saying - - but you will not be conditioned by it, you will remain free. That is the beauty! A Buddha has not conditioned anybody, a Jesus has never conditioned anybody. If people are Christians and have become conditioned, that is their choice -- you cannot throw the responsibility on Jesus. If people have become Buddhists and have completely forgotten about Buddha, and go on talking only about Buddhist doctrines and dogmas, that is their responsibility -- otherwise, Buddha has not conditioned anybody.

These people come to free you. They bring freedom, they bring purity, they bring innocence. But the ultimate result depends on you.

The fourth question:

I give you poetry -- you immediately translate it into prose. I have been simply saying: Share! You ask: With whom? You have changed the subject.

Mulla Nasrudin was talking to a woman and saying great things, was getting very romantic. He was saying, "Your eyes -- never, never have they happened before. And your face -- it is just like the moon. And the glow that surrounds you, and the vibe that you create -- it is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened." And he went on and on.

And, of course, as women are very practical, the woman asked, "Are you going to marry me, Nasrudin?"

Nasrudin said, "Please, don't change the subject!"

I am talking about sharing and you immediately change the subject, You say: "With whom?" Your emphasis is not about yourself. You have not asked: "I am a miser and I cannot share. It is difficult for me to share." You have not asked how to share, how not to be miserly. You have immediately changed the subject -- as if you are ready to share but it is very difficult to find the right persons. So with whom? "The poor and needy? -- in general or relatives and friends?"

You are going into details -- without asking the basic and fundamental question: Are you ready to share? When the cloud is ready to shower, it doesn't ask: "Where to shower? -- on the mountains? in a lake?.on grounds? in the fields? in the gardens? Where to shower? -- on good people? virtuous or sinners? on temples or on churches? on saintly people or on worldly people?" It doesn't bother -- it simply showers. It is not a question of on whom to shower. The cloud is ready -- it has to shower, to unburden itself.

When the flower blooms, it doesn't ask: "Towards whose nostril should I float now? Where should I send my fragrance? To saints and mahatmas? or to sinners?" No, it never asks. It goes on spreading its fragrance, it goes on unconcerned about whom; the fragrance moves unaddressed.

That's what I would like to say to you: Share! and let your sharing be spontaneous. When you have to give, give! Why bother? But people are very cunning -- they say: "Give? First we have to see whether it is the right person or not." How is one going to decide who is a right person or not? What are the criteria? How are you going to decide who is the right person?

A person may be poor but may be a criminal -- so whether to give to him or not? A person may be poor, needy, his wife may be suffering from illness, his children may be hungry, but he may be a drunkard. If you give him money, he will simply go and drink -- he is not going to purchase medicine with it. With whom to share?

In Jainism there is a sect called 'Terapanth'. It has gone to the very logical end; it has rationalized miserliness to the very extreme. This sect says: "Don't give because you don't know what the other person will do about it -- you give money to somebody; he may go and purchase a gun and kill a few people. Then? Then you will be responsible! It will be part of your karma. If you had not given him the money he would not have purchased the gun and he would not have killed so many people. He has killed now -- you are part, knowingly, unknowingly, and you will have to pay for it"

Now this is the businessman's mind, and all these Terapanthis are business people. "Don't give, because who knows what will be done, what will happen out of it?" They say if a person is dying by the side of the road, thirsty, crying and asking for water, you just go on your way, don't be distracted by him -- because if you give him water and tomorrow he kills somebody, then? or goes and steals something from somebody, then? You will be part of it.

Humanity is very cunning. Human beings are very cunning. This is the end-result of Mahavir's teaching -- who taught about love and sharing. This Terapanth is a sect of Jains. Mahavir says: "Share!" But how things can turn! even to the very opposites. And it is appealing -- it is rational, it looks right. Then these Terapanthis say: "If somebody is poor, he is poor because of his past karmas -- who are you to help him? He is suffering from his past karmas and you are becoming a distracting force. If you give him money and you help him not to suffer, he will have to suffer some day or other -- so you simply postpone. Let him be whatsoever he is."

If you want to share you will never ask these questions. These questions come up out of miserliness.

If you ask me, I will say: Share! If I cannot say anything positively about with whom to share, at least I can say one thing negatively: Never share with saints and mahatmas! -- because what can you share with them? What can you give to them? If they are really saints and mahatmas they are in tremendous bliss -- you cannot give them anything. You can beg something from them. You can ask them to shower what has happened to them.

You can receive. You can be the receiving end -- you cannot be the giver. They don't need.

Otherwise, keep it as a simple remembrance that whenever there is any situation in which you are asked to share and you can share, you have something to share -- share! and don't be bothered who the person is with whom you are sharing. That is none of your business! You shared -- that's all.

And it is always beautiful -- whether you share with a sinner or you share with a pious man, whether you share with a criminal or you share with a very respectable citizen, it is always beautiful. It will always give you tremendous joy. It is not a question of what happens afterwards! In the very sharing you have enjoyed a climax of being.

A Jewish couple were honeymooning at Niagara Falls. The boy's money ran out after a week, but he and his bride were having such a good time they wanted to stay longer. So he wired his father for more money. His telegram read: "Dear Dad. It's great here. Want to stay longer. Please send money. Love, Son."

The father wired back: "Dear Son. It's great anywhere. Come home. Love, Dad."

It is great anywhere! -- love is great. It is not a question of whether you are near Niagara Falls or in the Himalayas: love is great everywhere, yes, anywhere. Sharing is great: with whom you share is irrelevant.

I know your mind will always find ways not to share. Avoid those tricks of the mind.

You have to share. You should be happy whenever you can find an opportunity to share.

Mulla Nasrudin lay on his deathbed for months, while flocks of relatives gathered like vultures waiting for the kill. At last the dear old man went to his peaceful reward and the lawyers announced the date of the reading of his will.

All the relatives assembled on the appointed day. The lawyer tore open the envelope, drew out a piece of paper and read:

"Being of sound mind, I spent every dime before I died."

That is the golden rule: Before you die, share whatsoever you have. If you are of a sound mind you will share your whole life. Before you die, spend yourself in love.

The fifth question:

I have told you one story -- the question is concerned with that story -- about the botanist who lowered his son with a rope round his waist into a deep valley in the Himalayas. It was difficult to reach in any other way to the flowers that were flowering in the valley. The father was, of course, afraid, scared. The child was enjoying -- mm? -- it was a beautiful adventure. He was thrilled. But the father was afraid.

The child reached down, he plucked the flowers. The father shouted from the top, "Are you okay, little one? Are you not afraid?"

The child laughed -- the whole valley echoed his laughter -- and he said, "Why should I be afraid when you, my father, are holding the rope? Why should I be afraid?"

The questioner asks: "Are you holding my rope? Does that scare you?"

Now this is a totally different situation. In the first place, I am not holding any rope -- because any rope will create a bondage for you. In the second place, I have not lowered you into the valley to pick flowers -- I have lowered you into the valley to disappear....

You cannot look back, and you cannot look at the top and say, "You are holding the rope." Even if I managed to give you the notion that I am holding your rope, it is all false.

It is just a trick to lower you down -- there is no rope! And once lowered you cannot come back, because there is no way. Why should I be scared?

And it is not a question of picking some flowers there -- it is a question of disappearing completely. I am sending you towards nothingness. I am sending you towards ultimate death. Yes, in the beginning I pretend that I am binding a rope around your waist: this mala, etc. This is the rope! I have to persuade you. Once you are persuaded... gone.

My whole effort is to help you to disappear. My whole effort is to help you to be so empty: anatta -- non-being. Because if you are, you will remain in trouble. If you are, you will remain limited. If you are, there will be a definition to your being -- and you will never be overflowing. Only emptiness can be overflowing, only emptiness can be at ease.

Only emptiness can be life abundant. To be, the way passes through non-being.

If you really want to be, you will have to drop all concepts of your being. You will have to disappear, by and by. You will have to melt into nothingness.

Yes, I am lowering you, and I convince you that the rope is in my hand -- you don't be worried. I have to do that to give you courage. The rope is non-existential. You will come to know about it -- that the rope is non-existential -- but you will come to know only when there is no question of returning. You will not be able to return. And you will be happy that there is no rope. You will be happy that there is no way to return. You will be happy that I persuaded you to disappear. You will feel grateful, eternally grateful.

Right now it may be difficult to understand what I am saying. You are the trouble; you are the anxiety, the anguish; you are the disease. In total health, you will not find yourself: the total health is a zero experience. That zero experience is what religious people have called the God experience.

I am not scared at all -- I am simply laughing. And the day you understand, you will also not be scared. You will also laugh from the valley, and the valley will re echo your laughter.

The last question:

It is not a question of every waking up in the morning and saying to myself and feeling: The heck with all this Enlightenment business -- it is an everyday rule. Every morning I say to myself: The heck with all this Enlightenment business. Today I think I will just go out and drive a truck. But where can I find a better truck with so many school-children inside it? Then I decide finally, by the time it is eight I again decide that one day more...

This question is from Swami Deva Nartan, and he has a P.S. also to it. The P.S. is "You told me not to be so serious. You see, I'm trying."

Now my P.S. to the answer: "Whatsoever I have said, please, don't take it seriously. I am saying it very seriously!"