Man is Always an Opening

The first question:

Creativity has nothing to do with any activity in particular -- with painting, poetry, dancing, singing. It has nothing to do with anything in particular.

Anything can be creative -- you bring that quality to the activity. Activity itself is neither creative nor uncreative. You can paint in an uncreative way. You can sing in an uncreative way. You can clean the floor in a creative way. You can cook in a creative way.

Creativity is the quality that you bring to the activity you are doing. It is an attitude, an inner approach -- how you look at things.

So the first thing to be remembered: don't confine creativity to anything in particular. A man is creative -- and if he is creative, whatsoever he does, even if he walks, you can see in his walking there is creativity. Even if he sits silently and does nothing, even non- doing will be a creative act. Buddha sitting under the Bodhi Tree doing nothing is the greatest creator the world has ever known.

Once you understand it -- that it is you, the person, who is creative or uncreative -- then this problem disappears.

Not everybody can be a painter -- and there is no need also. If everybody is a painter the world will be very ugly; it will be difficult to live. And not everybody can be a dancer, and there is no need. But everybody can be creative.

Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing it is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine.

You become more divine as you become more creative. all the religions of the world have said: God is the Creator. I don't know whether He is the Creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So He must be the Creator because people who have been creative have been closest to Him.

Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it -- whatsoever it is! irrelevant of the fact of what it is.

Have you seen Paras cleaning this floor of Chuang Tzu auditorium? Then you will know: cleaning can become creative. With what love! Almost singing and dancing inside. If you clean the floor with such love, you have done an invisible painting. You lived that moment in such delight that it has given you some inner growth. You cannot be the same after a creative act.

Creativity means loving whatsoever you do -- enjoying, celebrating it, as a gift of God! Maybe nobody comes to know about it. Who is going to praise Paras for cleaning this floor? History will not take any account of it; newspapers will not publish her name and pictures -- but that is irrelevant. She enjoyed it. The value is intrinsic.

So if you are looking for fame and then you think you are creative -- if you become famous like Picasso, then you are creative -- then you will miss. Then you are, in fact, not creative at all: you are a politician, ambitious. If fame happens, good. If it doesn't happen, good. It should not be the consideration. The consideration should be that you are enjoying whatsoever you are doing. It is your love-affair.

If your act is your love-affair, then it becomes creative. Small things become great by the touch of love and delight.

The questioner asks: "I believed I was uncreative." If you believe in that way, you will become uncreative -- because belief is not just belief. It opens doors; it closes doors. If you have a wrong belief, then that will hang around you as a closed door. If you believe that you are uncreative, you will become uncreative -- because that belief will obstruct, continuously negate, all possibilities of flowing. It will not allow your energy to flow because you will continuously say: "I am uncreative."

This has been taught to everybody. Very few people are accepted as creative: A few painters, a few poets -- one in a million. This is foolish! Every human being is a born creator. Watch children and you will see: all children are creative. By and by, we destroy their creativity. By and by, we force wrong beliefs on them. By and by, we distract them.

By and by, we make them more and more economical and political and ambitious.

When ambition enters, creativity disappears -- because an ambitious man cannot be creative, because an ambitious man cannot love any activity for its own sake. While he is painting he is looking ahead; he is thinking, 'When am I going to get a Nobel Prize?' When he is writing a novel, he is looking ahead. He is always in the future -- and a creative person is always in the present.

We destroy creativity. Nobody is born uncreative, but we make ninety-nine percent of people uncreative.

But just throwing the responsibility on the society is not going to help -- you have to take your life in your own hands. You have to drop wrong conditionings. You have to drop wrong, hypnotic auto-suggestions that have been given to you in your childhood. Drop them! Purify yourself of all conditionings... and suddenly you will see you are creative.

To be and to be creative are synonymous. It is impossible to be and not to be creative.

But that impossible thing has happened, that ugly phenomenon has happened, because all your creative sources have been plugged, blocked, destroyed, and your whole energy has been forced into some activity that the society thinks is going to pay.

Our whole attitude about life is money-oriented. And money is one of the most uncreative things one can become interested in. Our whole approach is power-oriented and power is destructive, not creative. A man who is after money will become destructive, because money has to be robbed, exploited; it has to be taken away from many people, only then can you have it. Power simply means you have to make many people impotent, you have to destroy them -- only then will you be powerful, can you be powerful.

Remember: these are destructive acts. A creative act enhances the beauty of the world; it gives something to the world, it never takes anything from it. A creative person comes into the world, enhances the beauty of the world -- a song here, a painting there. He makes the world dance better, enjoy better, love better, meditate better. When he leaves this world, he leaves a better world behind him. Nobody may know him; somebody may know him -- that is not the point. But he leaves the world a better world, tremendously fulfilled because his life has been of some intrinsic value.

Money, power, prestige, are uncreative; not only uncreative, but destructive activities.

Beware of them! And if you beware of them you can become creative very easily. I am not saying that your creativity is going to give you power, prestige, money. No, I cannot promise you any rose-gardens. It may give you trouble. It may force you to live a poor man's life. All that I can promise you is that deep inside you will be the richest man possible; deep inside you will be fulfilled; deep inside you will be full of joy and celebration. You will be continuously receiving more and more blessings from God. Your life will be a life of benediction.

But it is possible that outwardly you may not be famous, you may not have money, you may not succeed in the so-called world. But to succeed in this so-called world is to fail deeply, is to fail in the inside world. And what are you going to do with the whole world at your feet if you have lost your own self? What will you do if you possess the whole world and you don't possess yourself? A creative person possesses his own being; he is a master.

That's why in the East we have been calling sannyasins 'swamis'. 'Swami' means a master. Beggars have been called swamis -- masters. Emperors we have known, but they proved in the final account, in the final conclusion of their lives, that they were beggars.

A man who is after money and power and prestige is a beggar, because he continuously begs. He has nothing to give to the world.

Be a giver. Share whatsoever you can! And remember, I am not making any distinction between. small things and great things. If you can smile whole-heartedly, hold somebody's hand and smile, then it is a creative act, a great creative act. Just embrace somebody to your heart and you are creative. Just look with loving eyes at somebody...

just a loving look can change the whole world of a person.

Be creative. Don't be worried about what you are doing -- one has to do many things -- but do everything creatively, with devotion. Then your work becomes worship. Then whatsoever you do is a prayer. And whatsoever you do is an offering at the altar.

Drop this belief that you are uncreative. I know how this belief is created: you may not have been a gold medalist in the university; you may not have been top in your class; your painting may not have won appreciation; when you play on your flute, neighbors report to the police. Maybe -- but just because of these things, don't get the wrong belief that you are uncreative. That may be because you are imitating others.

People have a very limited idea of what being creative is -- playing the guitar or the flute or writing poetry -- so people go on writing rubbish in the name of poetry. You have to find out what you can do and what you cannot do. Everybody cannot do everything! You have to search and find your destiny. You have to grope in the dark, I know. It is not very clear-cut what your destiny is -- but that's how life is. And it is good that one has to search for it -- in the very search, something grows.

If God were to give a chart of your life to you when you were entering into the world -- this will be your life: you are going to become a guitarist -- then your life would be mechanical. Only a machine can be predicted, not a man. Man is unpredictable. Man is always an opening... a potentiality for a thousand and one things. Many doors open and many alternatives are always present at each step -- and you have to choose, you have to feel. But if you love your life you will be able to find.

If you DON'T love your life and you love something else, then there is a problem. If you love money and you want to be creative, you cannot become creative. The very ambition for money is going to destroy your creativity. If you want fame, then forget about creativity. Fame comes easier if you are destructive. Fame comes easier to an Adolf Hitler; fame comes easier to a Henry Ford. Fame is easier if you are competitive, violently competitive. If you can kill and destroy people, fame comes easier.

The whole history is the history of murderers. If you become a murderer, fame will be very easy. You can become a prime minister; you can become a president -- but these are all masks. Behind them you will find very violent people, terribly violent people hiding, smiling. Those smiles are political, diplomatic. If the mask slips, you will always see Genghis Khan, Timur Leng, Nadir Shah, Napoleon, Alexander, Hitler, hiding behind.

If you want fame, don't talk about creativity. I am not saying that fame never comes to a creative person, but very rarely it comes, very rarely. It is more like an accident, and it takes much time. Almost always it happens that by the time fame comes to a creative person, he is gone -- it is always posthumous; it is very delayed.

Jesus was not famous in his day. If there were no Bible, there would have been no record of him. The record belongs to his four disciples; nobody else has ever mentioned him, whether he existed or not. He was not famous. He was not successful. Can you think of a greater failure than Jesus? But, by and by, he became more and more significant; by and by, people recognized him. It takes time.

The greater a person is, the more time it takes for people to recognize him -- because when a great person is born, there are no criteria to judge him by, there are no maps to find him with. He has to create his own values; by the time he has created the values, he is gone. It takes thousands of years for a creative person to be recognized, and then too it is not certain. There have been many creative people who have never been recognized. It is accidental for a creative person to be successful. For an uncreative, destructive person it is more certain.

So if you are seeking something else in the name of creativity, then drop the idea of being creative. At least consciously, deliberately, do whatsoever you want to do. Never hide behind masks. If you really want to be creative, then there is no question of money, success, prestige, respectability -- then you enjoy your activity; then each act has an intrinsic value. You dance because you like dancing; you dance because you delight in it.

If somebody appreciates, good, you feel grateful. If nobody appreciates, it is none of your business to be worried about it. You danced, you enjoyed -- you are already fulfilled.

But this belief of being uncreative can be dangerous -- drop it! Nobody is uncreative -- not even trees, not even rocks. People who have known trees and loved trees, know that each tree creates its own space, each rock creates its own space. It is like nobody else's space. If you become sensitive, if you become capable of understanding, through empathy, you will be tremendously benefited. You will see each tree is creative in its own way; no other tree is like that -- each tree is unique; each tree has individuality, each rock has individuality. Trees are not just trees -- they are people. Rocks are not just rocks -- they are people. Go and sit by the side of a rock -- watch it lovingly, touch it lovingly, feel it lovingly.

It is said about a Zen master that he was able to pull very big rocks, remove very big rocks -- and he was a very fragile man. It was almost impossible looking at his physiology! Stronger men, very much stronger than him, were unable to pull those rocks, and he would simply pull them very easily.

He was asked what his trick was. He said, "There is no trick -- I love the rock so the rock helps. First I say to her, 'Now my prestige is in your hands, and these people have come to watch. Now help me, cooperate with me.' Mm? -- then I simply hold the rock lovingly... and wait for the hint. When the rock gives me the hint -- it is a shudder, my whole spine starts vibrating -- when the rock gives me the hint that she is ready, then I move. You move against the rock; that's why so much energy is needed. I move with the rock, I flow with the rock. In fact, it is wrong to say that I remove it -- I am simply there.

The rock removes itself."

One great Zen master was a carpenter, and whenever he made tables, chairs, somehow they had some ineffable quality in them, a tremendous magnetism. He was asked, "How do you make them?"

He said, "I don't make them. I simply go to the forest: the basic thing is to enquire of the forest, of trees, which tree is ready to become a chair."

Now these things look absurd -- because we don't know, we don't know the language. For three days he would remain in the forest. He would sit under one tree, under another tree, and he would talk to trees -- and he was a mad man! But a tree is to be judged by its fruit, and this master has also to be judged by his creation. A few of his chairs still survive in China -- they still carry a magnetism. You will just be simply attracted; you will not know what is pulling you. After a thousand years! -- something tremendously beautiful.

He said, "I go and I say that I am in search of a tree who wants to become a chair. I ask the trees if they are willing; not only willing: cooperating with me, ready to go with me -- only then. Sometimes it happens that no tree is ready to become a chair -- I come empty- handed."

It happened: The Emperor of China asked him to make him a stand for his books. And he went and after three days he said, "Wait -- no tree is ready to come to the palace."

After three months the Emperor again enquired. The carpenter said, "I have been going continuously. I am persuading. Wait -- one tree seems to be leaning a little bit."

Then he persuaded one tree. He said, "The whole art is there! -- when the tree comes of its own accord. Then she is simply asking the help of the carpenter."

You can go and ask Asheesh -- he has a feel for wood, and wood also has a feel for him.

If you are loving you will see that the whole existence has individuality. Don't pull and push things. Watch, communicate; take their help -- and much energy will be preserved.

Even trees are creative, rocks are creative. You are man: the very culmination of this existence. You are at the top -- you are conscious. Never think with wrong beliefs, and never be attached to wrong beliefs, that you are uncreative. Maybe your father said to you that you are uncreative, your colleagues said to you that you are uncreative. Maybe you were searching in wrong directions, in directions in which you are not creative, but there must be a direction in which you are creative. Seek and search and remain available, and go on groping -- unless you find it.

Each man comes into this world with a specific destiny -- he has something to fulfill, some message has to be delivered, some work has to be completed. You are not here accidentally -- you are here meaningfully. There is a purpose behind you. The Whole intends to do something through you.

The second question -- it is from Hareesh:

It IS a colored one -- but all the colors are there, hence it looks white. White is not colorless. White is the presence of all the colors together. White is the most colorful thing in the world -- hence it looks white.

When a white ray passes through a prism it divides into seven colors. That's how a rainbow is created in the rainy season. Small particles of water hanging in the air function as prisms. White rays of sun enter through those hanging particles of water and are divided into seven colors. If you mix all the colors in the right proportions, you will create white. White is all the colors together.

I am not a Buddhist, I am not a Hindu, I am not a Christian, I am not a Jain, I am not a Mohammedan -- and I am all. All colors together! Hence white is created. A white aura is the greatest possibility.

People have different auras: somebody has a black aura -- black is the lowest possibility.

Black is the absence of all colors. Hence, in all the mythologies we paint the Devil as black -- that is the aura -- we paint the Devil as black. Even negroes paint the Devil as black; they should paint the Devil as white, but they paint the Devil as black.

Black means the absence of all colors -- absence of everything. Black is negative. Black is just nihilistic. Black means simply negativity. Black is death. That's why death is also painted black. And when you mourn for a person, you use black dress. White is the opposite polarity of black: black is the absence of all colors; white is the presence of all colors. White is an invisible rainbow.

Go on watching your own face in the mirror. Next time you stand before your mirror, don't be bothered too much with your physiological shape -- try to see the aura. In the beginning it will not be visible, but if you go on working, within three months you will be able to see a subtle aura surrounding your face in the mirror. And that will be greatly indicative and helpful for your growth, because it will show the color where you are. If it is black, then much has to be done. If it is grey, then you are just in the middle of your growth; half the journey is over, half has yet to be travelled.

You ask: "Why is not a colored one visible?" -- because all the colors are there it cannot be a colored one. A colored one means simply one color. And you will be surprised: if you ask the physicists, who know color well, what it is, you will be surprised. If you are using a red dress, that simply means the red color is reflected back, is given back to the world. Your dress absorbs all other colors; only the red color it doesn't absorb but reflects back, shares with the existence, it gives it back. It renounces red -- that's why it is red.

This seems paradoxical: red dress is not red! It renounces red; that's why it looks red -- people looking at you see it red because the red ray is going back and falls on their eyes and they see it as red. A black dress absorbs all; it doesn't give back anything. It simply absorbs all -- the black is miserly, it doesn't share. It is a sort of spiritual constipation. It simply takes in and never gives out.

White simply reflects everything back, gives everything back. Hence, in India white became the color of renunciation. White means nothing is absorbed; all the rays are returned back to the existence -- with thanks, with gratitude. When all the rays fall on your eyes, it looks white. When one ray falls on your eye -- red, blue, green -- then it is colorful.

A white aura is the best aura. And I would like to tell Hareesh... he is a very sensitive man. A new sannyasin in a way, but a very ancient one in another. I have known him before -- and he also knows this. May not be very conscious about it, but he feels it somewhere. He is a very sensitive man, an infinitely sensitive man. That's why he has been able to see the aura. If he tries a little, soon he will be able to see his own aura. And if he tries a little more, he can become an aura expert, he can see anybody's aura. And it is going to be helpful in his work. He is a psychotherapist. It will be of tremendous help to him.

In the East, masters have used it as a psychoanalytic device. When a person comes to a master, the first thing to see is his aura -- because that will decide everything. He starts analyzing his aura because that is very indicative. That shows about the deepest layers of his mind, conscious and unconscious both.

There are people who come to me sometimes who say they don't want to take sannyas, and in their aura I see that they are ready. Just the other day, Prasthan's ex-wife was here.

I see she is ready, but she says she has to think about it. Her aura is crystal-clear. She is finished with the world! but is unconscious about it. I told her, "For me you have become a sannyasin -- for yourself you can take a little time to think." There are people who want to become sannyasins, and I even initiate them, but I see their aura is still too much involved in the world, too much of the world. I hope for them. Their desire is good, but their preparation is none.

People are not aware of their auras, otherwise they would be able to self-analyze themselves. Hareesh can attain to this capacity very easily.

The third question:

Sri Aurobindo was never really a very spiritual man. Originally he was a politician, and politics lingered and lingered to the very end. He became religious, he tried hard, but the shadow of politics continued. His assertions should not be given too much value. He was a little chauvinistic about India, as people are about their own country all over the world.

An Indian thinks that he is the very center of the world spiritually, very highly evolved.

All rubbish! No country as such is spiritually evolved, no race as such is spiritually evolved. Spirituality happens only to individuals, not to countries. Yes, Buddha was evolved, so was Jesus; Mahavir was evolved, so was Mohammed; Krishna was evolved, so was Zarathustra -- so what! Individuals. Just because Buddha happened to be born in India, India does not become spiritual -- because spiritual people have been born all over the world, to every part, to every country, to every century, to every race. But there is a spiritual egoism, and there are reasons also.

India feels very inferior in many ways; it has to compensate. The West is very materially progressive, materially affluent, rich -- rich in science, rich in living, rich in every way.

India feels inferior: how to compensate for it? This becomes a compensation: that we are spiritually evolved.

No country is spiritually evolved -- because spirituality is basically individual. It has nothing to do with country and climate; it is not confined to the boundaries of politics.

Ask the Indians: "Now what about Pakistan?" Just twenty years ago it was India -- then it was spiritually evolved. Now? -- now it is the worst country in the world -- ask an Indian.

It was India just twenty years ago! Now it is no more India. Political boundaries. The world is one, the earth is one, for a spiritual man.

So if Aurobindo is talking about the geographical India, he is talking nonsense. But Indians feel good; they have nothing else to claim. Spirituality is good because it is a very invisible thing; you cannot disprove it. If somebody says, "I am very rich," you can prove or disprove it -- mm? -- you can go and see the bank-balance. And somebody says, "I am spiritual," now what to do? How to prove or how to disprove? I have heard an anecdote:

A few Christian theologians have concluded that Adam and Eve were Indians. Why? "First," they argue, "they had nothing to wear. Second, they stole apples; and, third, with it all, they thought they were living in the Garden of Eden."

They had nothing to wear, were stealing apples, and still thinking that they lived in Paradise! That's what an Indian goes on thinking. So when somebody like Sri Aurobindo declares that India is the center, the spiritual guide, the spiritual guru of the whole world, Indians feel very good. It enhances the;r ego. It helps them to stand a little more erect; it helps them to feel a little good. It cheers them -- that's all. But it is not a truth.

And Sri Aurobindo was definitely talking about the geographical India -- because he was very fanatical, chauvinistic. He had the idea that Indians are very superior, that they have spiritual work to do in the world. No. But in another way, if you take India not as a

geographical thing, not as a political map, but if you take India as an eternal search for truth, then this country has been in search long -- longer than any other country. It has sacrificed much for its search. That's how it has become so poor -- because when people start thinking of the inner world, they start dropping from the outside world, they become dropouts.

India has been approaching the inner continuously. If you take India as a symbol of inner search, good -- but then you should remember that it is an inner search and a symbol of inner search. Then somebody who is born in the West and is seeking God is an Indian; and somebody who is born in India and is seeking money is an American. Then there is no trouble -- then Jesus is Indian, Zarathustra is Indian, Lao Tzu is Indian, Chuang Tzu is Indian, Bokuju, Rinzai -- all are Indians. Then 'India' has a totally different meaning.

I also say that India is significant, but just as a psychological symbol. Longest India has been searching. And MORE Buddhas have happened here. The very climate of spirituality, the milieu, helps. Jesus is rare, Zarathustra is rare. In India, Buddha, Mahavir, Krishna, Ram -- it seems almost a normal state of affairs.

But it is just like when somebody says: "The West is symbolic for science." Yes, the West has been searching scientifically longest. From the ancient Greeks up to today the Western mind has been searching in scientific categories. It has been leaning more and more towards logic, mathematics, experimentation. And in the East, India has been leaning more and more illogically, irrationally, towards the inner.

If you can think of the West as a symbol of science, then the East can become a symbol for spirituality. If you think of the Greek mind as logical, then you can think of the Indian mind as religious -- but then these are symbols, nothing to brag about.

But every country, every race, goes on bragging about itself. I have heard an anecdote:

The mother superior of a convent was interviewing the three girls graduating from the high school.

"Wee Margaret," she asked the first, "and what will you be doing when you leave us?"

"Oh, Mother," the girl replied, "I'm not going to be leaving you -- I'm going to stay here and take the veil!" "Bless you, Margaret," said the nun, well pleased. Turning to the next one she asked,"And you, Katherine, what are your plans?"

"Oh," replied Katherine, "I'm going to continue to get a good Catholic education and then teach little children in a parochial school."

"Most commendable," said the nun. "And what will you do, Eileen?" she asked of the third student.

Lowering her eyes, the girl replied, "I'm going to become a prostitute."

"A what?" shrieked the mother superior.

"A prostitute," the girl repeated, whereupon the nun fainted to the floor.

They quickly revived her, but even before she rose from the floor, the nun gasped, "Eileen, say that again."

"Mother," the girl replied firmly, "I'm going to be a prostitute! " "Oh, saints preserve us!" said the nun crossing herself quickly. "I thought you said a Protestant!"

Every religion, every country, every sect, is fanatically mad Only they are the right, they are the true ones. They are on the right track and everybody else is wrong, everybody else is condemned.

So, it is natural that the thinkers all over the West felt offended. But to feel offended is to be ill with the same disease. "They mocked and laughed at it." There is no need to mock and laugh.

Sri Aurobindo's statement is absurd -- but there is no need to mock and laugh at it, because when you mock and laugh at it then you are carrying the same mind within you.

Then an American feels offended -- because India, the guru? Then an Englishman feels offended. How can an Englishman ever think of India as the guru? -- impossible. But this is the same mind! One extreme is declaring that India is the center, the suprememost guru of the world, and then the other is feeling offended.

No need to feel offended -- just feel pity for such statements. Just feel sorry that still in this twentieth century there are people who don't belong to this century -- very traditional, orthodox; not contemporaries at all. But there is no need to feel offended -- because it is ego asserting and it is ego feeling offended. So just see the point; don't feel offended -- otherwise you are in the same boat.

The fourth question:

Now, it is a very delicate problem.... In fact, all His qualities are feminine -- that's why I call Him 'He' and 'Him'. Otherwise He has no reason to call Himself a male. You can feel sorry for Him! And you can allow this much, can't you? He has all the qualities of a woman, but to call Him 'She' will be too much. Just to compensate I call Him 'He' and 'Him'.

God is more a mother than a father. God is more like a womb than anything else. Out of God we are born, and back into God we dissolve. He is our birth and He is our death. He is like the ocean: He 'waves' us, we become His waves; He absorbs us -- we disappear.

He is compassion, love. All His qualities are feminine.

So there is no need to be worried about it, why I call Him 'He'. To call Him 'She' will be too realistic. Mm? This much romance, this much poetry, you can allow me -- to call Him 'He'. That balances.

In fact, He is neither -- He cannot be, because man is born out of Him, woman is born out of Him. Either He is both or He is neither -- because He is all.

But I understand the question. It must be coming from some woman belonging to the Lib movement. They have already started calling Him 'She'. Nothing wrong in it! In fact, it may become by and by more prevalent. The word 'she' is beautiful; in a way, it includes 'he' -- -s-h-e. 'He' does not include 'she', right; but 'she' includes 'he'. It is a better word, but very confusing.

The whole humanity, in all the ages, has called Him 'He'. Maybe something of the male mind is involved in it, because it is man who has created all the scriptures. It would have been very offensive for men to think that He is a she, God is a woman. It would not have been good for the male ego. Now, there is no need to move to the other extreme. What I am pointing at again and again is that extremes are not good.

Up to now we have called Him 'He' -- maybe male chauvinistic attitudes are implied in it.

Now we can start calling Him 'She' -- then female chauvinistic attitudes will become implied in it. In India, we have a neutral gender: neither masculine nor feminine -- neutral. 'Brahma', the word for God in India, is a neuter gender word. We call Him 'It' -- that seems to be the best and the most scientific. We call Him 'That' -- neither He nor She. Tatwamasi Swetketu -- That art thou, that art thou, Swetketu. This is more scientific.

From He it is very easy for the pendulum to swing to She, but it will be again the same fallacy. God is both or neither.

The fifth question:

THIS IS DIFFICULT! Nobody has ever been able to know it -- because, in fact, love is a game. That is its reality! So if you are waiting and watching and thinking and analyzing whether this woman who is in love with you is just playing a game or is in reality in love, you will never be able to love any woman -- because love is a game, the suprememost game.

There is no need to ask for it to be real -- play the game! that's its reality. And if you are too much of a seeker for reality, then love is not for you. It is a dream! It is a fantasy -- it is a fiction, it is a romance, it is a poetry. If you are too much of a seeker for reality, obsessed with reality, then love is not for you -- then meditate.

And I know the questioner is not that type -- the question is from Krishna Gautam. No meditation is possible, at least in this life! He has many karmas to fulfill with women. So he continuously thinks about meditation and continuously goes on moving with this woman or that. Now the women he moves with, they also come to me and they say, "Is he really in love with us?" What to do? And here comes he with a question!

But this problem comes to everybody sometime or other -- because there is no way to judge. We are such strangers -- we are strangers, and our meeting is just accidental. Just on the road suddenly we have come across each other, not knowing who we are, not knowing who the other is. Two strangers meeting on a road, feeling alone, hold each other's hands -- and think they are in love. They are in need of the other, certainly, but how to be certain that there is love?

I was reading a beautiful joke; listen to it carefully:

A woman arrived at a small midwestern town late at night, only to find there wasn't a single hotel room available. "I'm sorry," said the desk clerk, "but the last room we had was just taken by an Italian."

"What number is it?" said the woman in desperation. "Maybe I can work something out with him."

The clerk told her the room and the woman went up and knocked on the door. The Italian let her in.

"Look, mister," she said, "I don't know you and you don't know me, but I need some place to sleep desperately. I won't be any bother, I promise, if you just let me use that little couch over there."

The Italian thought for a minute and then said, "Okay." The woman curled up on the couch and the Italian went back to bed. But the couch was very uncomfortable and after a few minutes the woman tiptoed over to the bed and tapped the Italian's arm. "Look mister," she said, "I don't know you and you don't know me, but that couch is impossible to sleep on. Could I just sleep here, at the edge of the bed?"

"Okay," said the Italian, "use the edge of the bed."

The woman lay down on the bed, but after a few minutes she felt very cold. Again she tapped the Italian.

"Look mister," she said, "I don't know you and you don't know me, but it's very cold out here. Could I just get under the cover with you."

"Okay," said the Italian, "get under the cover."

The woman snuggled under, but the closeness of a male body stirred her and she started to feel a little horny. Again she tapped the Italian.

"Look mister," she said, "I don't know you and you don't know me, but how about having a little party?"

Exasperated, the Italian bolted up in the bed. "Look lady," he hollered, "I don't know you and you don't know me. In the middle of the night, who we gonna invite to a party?"

But this is how it goes: You don't know me, I don't know you -- it is just accidental.

Needs are there. People feel lonely; they need somebody to fill their loneliness. They call it love. They show love because that is the only way to hook the other. The other also calls it love because that is the only way to hook you. But who knows whether there is love or not? In fact, love is just a game. Yes, there is a possibility of a real love, but that happens only when you don't need anybody -- that's the difficulty.

It is on the same lines as banks function. If you go to a bank and you need money, they will not give you any. If you don't need money, you have enough, they will come to you and they will always be ready to give you. When you don't need, they are ready to give you; when you need, they are not ready to give you.

When you don't need a person at all, when you are totally sufficient unto yourself, when you can be alone and tremendously happy and ecstatic, then love is possible. But then too you cannot be certain whether the OTHER'S love is real or not -- you can be certain about only one thing: whether your love is real. How can you be certain about the other? But then there is no need.

This continuous anxiety -- whether the other's love is real or not -- simply shows one thing: that your love is not real. Otherwise, who bothers? Why be worried about it? Enjoy it while it lasts! Be together while you can be together! It is a fiction, but you need fiction.

Nietzsche used to say that man is such that he cannot live without lies, he cannot live with truth. Truth will be too much to tolerate, to bear. You need lies. Lies, in a subtle way, lubricate your system; they are lubricants. Mm? You see a woman, you say, "How beautiful! I have never come across such a beautiful person." These are just lubricating lies -- you know it!

You have said the same thing to other women before, and you know you will say the same thing again to other women in the future. And the woman also says that you are the only person that has ever attracted her. These are lies. Behind these lies there is nothing but need. You want the woman to be with you to fill your inner hole; you want to stuff that inner emptiness with her presence. She also wants. You both are trying to use each other as a means.

That's why lovers, so-called lovers, are always in conflict -- because nobody wants to be used, because when you use a person the person becomes a thing, you have reduced him to a commodity. And every woman feels, after making love to a man, a little sad, deceived, cheated, because the man turns over and goes to sleep -- finished is finished!

Many women have told me that they cry and weep after the man, their man, has made love to them -- because after love he is no longer interested. His interest was only for a particular need; then he turns over and goes to sleep. And he is not even bothered about what has happened to the woman. And men also feel cheated. They, by and by, start suspecting that the woman loves them for something else -- for money, power, security.

The interest may be economical -- but it is not love.

But it is true. This is how it can be; only this is how it can be! The way you are, living almost asleep, moving in a stupor, somnambulistic, this is the only way it is possible. But don't be worried about it, whether the woman loves you really or not. While you are asleep you will need somebody's love -- even if it is false, you will need it. Enjoy it! Don't create anxiety. And try to become more and more awake.

One day when you are really awake you will be able to love -- but then you will be certain about your love only. But that's enough! Who bothers? Because right now you want to use others. When you are really blissful on your own, you don't want to use anybody. You simply want to share. You have so much, so much is overflowing, you would like somebody to share it. And you will feel thankful that somebody was ready to receive. Finished! That is the full point.

Right now, you are worried too much whether the other loves you really -- because you are not certain about your own love. One thing. You are not certain about your worth.

You cannot believe that somebody can really love you. You don't see anything in yourself. You cannot love yourself -- how can somebody else love you? It seems unreal, it seems impossible.

Do you love yourself? You have not even asked the question. People hate themselves.

People condemn themselves -- they go on condemning; they go on thinking that they are rotten. How can the other love you? such a rotten person. No, nobody can love you really.

The other must be befooling, cheating; there must be some other reason. She must be after something else; he must be after something else.

I have heard:

A dirty, smelly, filthy-looking old Jewish bum, sat down on a park bench next to a sweet young girl. The girl took one look at the bum and looked away in revulsion. Pretty soon she heard a noise and turned her head to see what was happening. She watched in horror as the Jewish bum took a sandwich from a brown bag and took a big bite of it. The meat was rancid, the lettuce was brown, and the bread mouldy.

Sensing the girl's eyes on him, the Jewish bum turned towards her and said, "Pardon me, miss, would you like a bite of my sandwich? I suppose to make love would be out of the question."

This is what goes on happening. You know about yourself -- love seems to be out of the question. You know your rottenness, worthlessness -- love seems to be out of the question. And when some woman comes and says she adores you, you cannot trust.

When you go to a woman and you say you adore her, and she hates herself, how can she believe you? It is self-hatred that is creating the anxiety.

There is no way to be certain about the other -- first be certain about yourself. And a person who is certain about himself is certain about the whole world. A certainty achieved at your innermost core becomes a certainty about everything that you do and everything that happens to you. Settled, centered, grounded, in yourself, you never worry about such things. You accept.

If somebody loves you, you accept it because you love yourself. You are happy with yourself; somebody else is happy -- good! It does not get in your head; it does not make you madly egoistic. You simply enjoy yourself; somebody else also finds you enjoyable - - good! While it lasts, live the fiction as beautifully as possible -- it will not last forever.

That too creates a problem.

When a love is finished, you start thinking it was false -- that's why it has come to an end.

No, not necessarily -- not necessarily. It may have had some glimmer of truth in it, but you were both unable to keep and hold that truth. You killed it It was there -- you murdered it. You were not capable of love. You needed love, but you were not capable of it. So you meet a woman or a man; things go very well, very smoothly, fantastically beautifully -- in the beginning. The moment you have settled, things start getting sour, bitter. The more you have settled, the more conflict arises. That kills love.

As I see it, every love has in the beginning a ray of light in it, but the lovers destroy that.

They jump on that ray of light with all their darknesses within -- dark continents, great Africas within. They jump on it and they destroy it. When it is destroyed they think it was false. They have killed it! It was not false -- they are false. The ray was real, true.

So don't be worried about the other; don't be worried whether the love is real or not.

While it is there, enjoy it. Even if it is a dream, good to dream about it. And become more and more alert and aware so sleep is dropped.

When you are aware, a totally different kind of love will arise in your heart -- which is absolutely true, which is part of eternity. But that is not a need -- it is a luxury. And you have so much of it that you hanker for somebody to share it with.

Just like clouds when they are so full of rainwater: they would like to shower anywhere, upon anybody. And they don't bother whether it is a hilly track they are showering on, whether it is rocky ground they are showering on, or whether it is fertile soil thirsty for them -- they don't bother. They go on raining on rocks, on fertile soil, on everybody -- good and bad, thirsty, non-thirsty; needed, not needed. Because it is not a question now of whether you need; it is a question now that they are so full they have to share.

I love you -- not because I need. I love you simply because what else can I do now? It is there and I would like to shower it on you, and I go on showering -- unconditionally. It is not that you deserve it -- never think that. You know and I know that you don't deserve it, but that is not the point. What else can I do?

I have heard a very old Tibetan story:

There was a great sage who would not initiate anybody, who would not make anybody a disciple. And his fame spread far and wide, and thousands of people would come every year to his hilltop and they would touch his feet and they would cry and weep and they would say, "Accept us! Initiate us into the truth you have achieved! Open the door of your temple to us also -- we are thirsty."

But he would say, "You are not worthy, you don't deserve. First become worthy of me!" And his conditions were such that nobody was ever able to fulfill them: Be truthful for three years, not a single lie; for three years be celibate, not even a thought of a woman or a man -- and so on and so forth. Those conditions were impossible! And those conditions are such that the more you try to fulfill them, the more you will feel it is impossible. You can be a celibate if you don't bother too much about it; but if you think too much about celibacy then you will be surrounded by many, many women in your mind.

Many people had tried and nobody was successful, so nobody was initiated. Then the man was dying. Just three days before he died, many people had gathered and he told his closest people, "Now you go, and whosoever wants to be initiated I will initiate -- only three days are left!"

The people knew him well and they said, "What about your conditions?"

He said, "Forget all about those conditions! In fact, I was not ready to initiate anybody; hence, I was insisting too much on the conditions. Now I am ready! and I am full and I want to share. Now forget all about the conditions -- whosoever wants to come, fetch them! And be in a hurry because only three days are left."

He initiated any and everybody, whosoever came. People could not believe it! They asked, "What are you doing? We are sinners!"

He said, "Forget about it. I was not a saint up to now -- that was the only trouble. I had nothing to initiate you into. There was no door -- I was standing outside the door myself.

But now the door has opened -- now I have to share. Now there is no question of any conditions."

When you are aware, you are not in need of love. When you are not in need of love, you become capable of love. This is the paradox. When you are in need you are not capable.

And in this sleepy state, full of needs and desires, you go on stumbling. Why bother? let me tell you one anecdote:

Two very proper English gentlemen were drunk in the pubs looking for women. They finally got lucky and were about to bed with their respective finds. As they were lurching their way through the crowded London streets, one turned to the other and said, "Look here, old man, do you mind switching bitches?"

"No, I don't mind old thing, but can you tell a fellow why?"

"Well," slobbered the first, "don't you know, between the grog and the fog and the smog, I seem to have picked up my old auntie!"

In the darkness of desire, in the madness of passion, between the grog and the fog and the smog, don't be too worried whether the other's love is real or not. Right now, as you are, the real cannot happen to you. The real happens only to real persons. Gurdjieff used to

say: "Don't seek reality -- become real!" because the real happens to real persons only. To unreal persons only the unreal happens.

The last question:

It is Sheela's question. You are also beautiful, Sheela -- and everybody is beautiful. It is just a question of realization. It is not only that God is beautiful; in fact, because God is beautiful, everything is beautiful -- because everything is out of God, everything is in God.

You may not know your own beauty, you may not have looked into your own being, but let me remind you again and again: You are beautiful, Sheela -- everybody is beautiful. In fact, there is no way of being otherwise: only beauty exists and only beauty can exist.

Truth is beauty: beauty is truth.