Chapter 3

[A sannyasin, said she was unable to communicate with her sister, who is also here. She said she felt her sister had some jealousy towards her which she did not understand.]

There may be many hidden things involved. Some childhood jealousies are bound to be there. You repressed them, she repressed them, because we are taught to be nice to each other, and that is one of the most dangerous things. We are taught that one has to be nice to one's sister, to one's brother. The emotions are repressed and one is not honest with emotions.

Now that you are meditating, those emotions will bubble up and they will bubble up in her also. So you will have to pass through a period in your childhood that you missed. But there is nothing to be worried about. It is natural, because all that is repressed and inhibited will start being expressed.

So you will lose communication.

In fact, it never existed. Just being polite is not communication. Just being nice is not enough for communication because if you are repressing something, communication is superficial, just verbal.

You are simply making empty gestures, just meaningless motions. You can say 'hello' to a person without saying 'hello'. You can smile towards a person without smiling at all. You can talk and be pleasant, as one is expected to be, without being pleasant at all. This whole gesture may be a deep avoidance. Your politeness, your niceness, your goodness, may be just an armour because you are afraid that if you become true, the emotions that have been repressed will bubble up. And the other person is also trying to be nice. She is as afraid as you.

So it can appear that there is communication but there is not. If there were, then meditation would have made it even deeper. If there were any communication, meditation would have made it a communion, something deeper than communication. But if it is not there, meditation would make you aware of it.

That which is not can be taken away. That which is not is always taken away by meditation because it is false, and meditation is an effort to be true, authentic. That which is, is always enhanced by meditation. That which is not, is always taken away. That is the meaning of Jesus' saying, 'Those who have will be given more, and those who don't have, even that will be taken away.'

So, in effect, it is better because now you are becoming aware of a reality that you have avoided your whole life. Brothers, sisters, only appear to be nice to each other. Otherwise they are enemies because they are the first competitors.

In a small house, when the first child is born, he is the whole and sole. Then comes the next child.

He starts competing; competition is natural. This child wants more attention and the first child feels offended by the presence of this child. He feels as if his monopoly is broken. And it is natural that the mother may pay more attention to the new child; the new child needs more. Then jealousies will arise.

When there are many children in a house, it is bound to be that one child will get more attention than others. There is going to be a hierarchy; that's how the mind functions. The mother may love one child more, the other a little less. There are pets, because the mother is also human. You cannot expect that she should love absolutely equally; that is not possible. She may pretend. She pretends hard, but children are very perceptive They can immediately see that somebody is liked more, somebody is liked less and that this pretension is just bogus.

Then an inner conflict, fight, ambition arises. Each child is different. Somebody is very talented, somebody is not. Somebody has a musical talent, somebody has not. Somebody has a mathematical talent and somebody has not. Somebody is physically more beautiful than the other or one has a certain charm of personality and the other is lacking in it. Then problems arise more and more, and we are taught to be nice, never to be true.

If children are taught to be true, they will fight it out and they will drop it by fighting. They will be angry, they will fight and say hard things to the other and then they will be finished, because children get rid of things very easily. If they are angry, they will be angry, hot, almost volcanic, but next moment they are holding each other's hands and everything is forgotten. They are very simple, but they are not allowed that simplicity. They are told to be nice, whatsoever the cost. They are prohibited from being angry with each other: 'She is your sister, he is your brother. How can you be angry?'

Those angers, jealousies and a thousand and one wounds, scars, go on collecting. One day later in your life, if you come across something like meditation, then they will all bubble up. That's what's happening. So this time, please don't repress them again. Now face the situation this time. If you are angry, if she is angry, then be angry. Fight it out. Finish it! Say things that you always wanted to say and have not said, and she should say things she always wanted to say and did not because both of you were playing the game of being nice. Drop that nonsense and immediately you will see - if you can face each other in true anger, jealousy, if you can fight it out - immediately after it, in the wake of it, a deep love and compassion will arise. And that will be the real thing. Then communication will be possible.

So this is a great opportunity. It looks difficult, but if you can face it, something of tremendous value will happen to you. Once you are at ease with your sister, something like a block will drop

from your chest. That will help you to be more communicative with others also because your whole communication is blocked. It will help you in all directions: with your friends, with your lover, with parents, with the whole society. You will start feeling different. You are carrying something, she is carrying something. Now be courageous and face it. Talk it over with her.

And don't be dishonest. Bring the whole thing out. Pour out your whole unconscious and tell her, request her to also pour out hers. And this can be done only when you are hot. It can never be done when you are cold. When you are heated and boiling, things come out. When you are cold, they freeze, they cannot flow. When you are hot, you become liquid. When you are cold, they become solid.

So what I am telling to you, tell her and have a good encounter with her. You and she will both be unburdened and both will be benefited. This time, let truth be the goal - not etiquette, not formality.

Just open your heart and let her also open her heart. And after it, as if a storm has passed, a great silence arises and that silence will make you communicative. Even communion is possible.

It will happen... just have a little courage.

[A visitor says:

That can be done... and can be done very easily because my teachings are not difficult. They may appear difficult because we have become almost incapable of understanding simple things. The obvious has become almost impossible to see.

My teachings are very obvious, very simple... almost like no-teaching. You can live them very easily.

The problem will not arise from your being; the problem can only arise in your head.

If you tend to be intellectual, it will be difficult. Life is simple, non-intellectual. The whole problem of man is metaphysics. Life is as simple as a roseflower - nothing complicated about it... and yet mysterious; nothing complicated about it... yet no possibility to comprehend it through the intellect.

You can fall in love with a roseflower, you can smell it, you can touch it, you can feel it, you can even be it, but if you start dissecting it, then only something dead will be in your hands. The life would have gone.

Life does not tolerate dissection. Life does not tolerate analysis. My teaching is as simple as a roseflower or a rock or life. If you start dissecting it, categorising it, making a philosophy out of it, a creed or a dogma, then things are very complicated. It is almost impossible because you will find so many contradictions in me that you will go crazy.

But if you can put your mind aside a little and can look directly into me - just as if you are watching a flower or listening to the birds - then it is very easy, very simple.

Be here and meditate because meditation will be helpful. And have you done any groups before?

They will be helpful, because as I see it, the modern mind cannot go directly into meditations.

Something very block-like has happened to the contemporary mind - and not to one person; it has happened to the modern mind as such.

In the past people used to go directly into meditation. There was no need to do anything first because there was no blocking. Energies were flowing. Any moment one could move into meditation. There was no intrinsic contradiction. But the modern mind has become too logical, too rational, and is caught in the net of logic.

Because of this, much repression has happened, because logic is a dictatorial force, totalitarian.

Once logic controls you, it kills many things. Whoever is against it, is simply destroyed. It is like Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin. It does not allow the opposite to exist, and emotions are opposite.

Love, meditation, is opposite to logic. Religion is opposite to reason. So reason simply massacres them, kills them, uproots them.

Then suddenly you see that your life is meaningless because all meaning is irrational.

So first you listen to reason and then you kill all that was going to give meaning to your life. When you have killed and you are feeling victorious, suddenly you feel empty. Now nothing is left in your hand, only logic. And what can you do with logic-chopping? You cannot eat it. You cannot drink it.

You cannot love it. You cannot live it. It is just rot, rubbish.

Groups help very much. They bring you back to your body and they bring you back to your emotions, to the honesty of the emotions, the sincerity of your anger. Have you watched a small child really in anger? How beautiful he becomes, and how true and how strong and what a force... as if he will destroy the whole world... and just a tiny child! But on the wave of anger he feels powerful, radiant.

Have you seen a lover? Suddenly the energy passes into a new dimension... so graceful, so tender, so soft, so caring. If a lover just passes by your side, you will see that a certain breeze has moved around you, caressing you, giving you a taste of love. But these are all irrational forces.

One needs now to move first into the body, into the emotions, into the heart, and then again one is flowing, and then meditation becomes possible. So be here and do a few groups.

And take a jump into sannyas...

Just meet sannyasins, talk about sannyas, feel it. It will be helpful.

It will bring you into deep contact with me. It is just a gesture - a gesture that you are ready to go with me wherever I lead... just a trust, nothing else. Just a small gesture of trust that you are ready to put aside your mind and to follow. Meditate over it....

[The Tao group was present tonight.

The group leader said: It's been a low energy group and there wasn't much happening for the first three days or so. Just on the last day things started to move. But I was at a loss part of the time as to what to do, just how to move them.]

Sometimes a group is a low energy group. There is nothing wrong in it. You have just got soft people. So don't think that anything is wrong with low energy. There is nothing especially right with high energy, and nothing especially wrong with low energy.

You can use high energy as a destructive force. That's what high energy people have been doing all over the world, all through the centuries. The world has never suffered from low energy people.

In fact they have been the most innocent people. They cannot become an Adolf Hitler or a Stalin or a Mussolini. They cannot create world wars. They don't try to conquer the world. They are not ambitious. They cannot fight or become politicians. In fact they are the most human beings in the world.

Nothing is wrong in low energy. In fact they are very good people - very soft, very graceful. Low energy is wrong only if it becomes an indifference. If it remains positive, nothing is wrong in it. The difference is as if somebody is shouting - then it is high energy; and somebody is whispering - it is low energy. But there are moments when shouting is foolish and only whispering is right. There are a few people who are attuned to shouting and a few who are attuned to whispering.

So when you feel that a group is low energy, you have to manage it a different way, that's all.

... It is very easy to tackle a high energy group, very easy, because people are exploding with energy so many things seem to happen. It is very difficult and delicate to tackle a low energy group. You have to be very very soft and very alert because those people are not exploding with energy. They can grow slowly but they cannot take jumps, so more patience is needed; more tenderness, more caring is needed.

Next time you feel that a certain group is a low energy group, just relax. If the leader becomes tense, everything is lost. With a low energy group, you also become low energy. You are not a low energy type so it will create a little trouble. Relax and let things move; don't force. Even if they fall asleep, good. Then sleep is the right thing in that moment. Allow them. Simply help and help very very softly; don't push. If you push they will become defensive. A low energy person cannot be pushed into anything. He can be, at the most, persuaded. He can be seduced but you have to be very delicate about it.

A low energy group is a feminine group. What do you do with a woman with whom you have fallen in love? You court her, you persuade her. By and by you approach her. If you suddenly jump on her and ask her to come with you to bed, she will scream and call the police! The feminine mind doesn't work that way. Ways of persuasion, courting, are needed.

If it is a low energy group, just imagine that there are women all around you. Forget about men - and start courting and persuading them. Tao is basically for low energy people. The whole philosophy of Lao Tzu, the whole standpoint of Tao, is a feminine standpoint. Persuade, don't force.

Lao Tzu says, 'When the king is best, nobody knows who the king is.' People tend to forget. When people don't even remember the name of the king, then the king is the best. When people know who the king is, he is number two, not the best, because he must be doing something which makes him famous. Then he belongs to the second category, not the first.

When the people are afraid, and not only know and respect the person but are afraid of him, then he is of the third category, the worst. Lao Tzu says that when the king is of the first category, he goes on doing things and people think they are doing those things, because he is so silent and soft that even if he is doing something, others think it is they who are doing because he never comes to the

front. He is just like the roots of a tree hidden underground. Nobody knows about it. He is not like the flowers on top.

Things that will happen with a high energy group on the first day, will happen on the fourth with a low energy group. At least three or four days difference will be there, but it is nothing to be worried about. Things happen slowly with a low energy person but they stay longer once they happen.

Things happen faster with a high energy person, but they go faster; as fast as they come, the same way they go.

You can convert a high energy person immediately but you cannot rely on him because anybody else can convert him as easily. As he can be convinced by you, he can be convinced against you as easily. A low energy person moves very slowly, but he moves, and once he is with you, he is with you; you can rely on him. So try this next time.

And this has to be decided deep in your mind. Don't say anything to anybody, but in the four hours of the first day decide what type of group you are in and then follow that. If it is a high energy group, push and pull them, because if you go softly with a high energy group, you will be at a loss because they will simply feel bored. They need excitement. They need something great to happen instantly.

So you can wrestle with them.

But if you feel that the energy is low, you are not to wrestle, because if you wrestle with a low energy person, he feels as if he is being raped. Court him.

Don't be worried... I will be working.

[A group member said that he had enjoyed the group and didn't feel it had been low energy. He was aware of a tension, a tightness across his chest, since he returned to Poona from the West. He felt it was associated with not feeling as open and trusting as before.

Osho checked his energy.]

Very good. It will go. But you have to understand it, because not knowing it well, it can come again.

Whenever you are trusting, you will be relaxed, and whenever you allow any doubt, you will become tense in the heart - because the heart relaxes with trust and shrinks with doubt.

Ordinarily people are not aware of it. In fact they continuously remain shrunk and contracted at the heart, so they have forgotten how it feels to be relaxed there. Knowing no opposite, they think that everything is okay, but out of one hundred persons, ninety-nine live with a contracted heart.

The more you are in the head, the more the heart contracts. When you are not in the head, the heart opens like a lotus flower... and it is tremendously beautiful when it opens. Then you are really alive and the heart is relaxed. But the heart can only be relaxed in trust, in love. With suspicion with doubt, the mind enters. Doubt is the door of the mind. It is like bait. You go fishing and you put out bait. Doubt is the bait for the mind.

Once you are caught in doubt, you are caught with the mind. So when doubt comes, even if it comes, then too it is not worth it. I'm not saying that your doubt is always wrong; that I'm not saying.

I'm the last person to say that. Your doubt may be perfectly right, but then too it is wrong because it destroys your heart. It is not worth it.

For example, you are staying in a strange room with somebody, a stranger, and you have doubts as to whether he is a thief or unreliable. Is it okay to sleep with this man in the room? Even if he is a robber or even if he is a murderer, then too the doubt is not worthwhile.

It is better to die in trust than to live in doubt. It is better to be robbed in trust than to become a millionaire in doubt. A person who robs your riches, robs nothing. But if you doubt, you lose your heart.

So when I say trust, I don't mean that trust will always prove right; I'm not saying that. Many times trust will put you into many difficult situations, because the more you trust, the more vulnerable you become. And the more you trust, the more you become a victim of people who are ready to deceive.

They want trusting people otherwise they will not be able to deceive anybody.

But still I say be deceived. That is not as costly as being doubtful. If one has to choose and there are only two alternatives - to be deceived or to be doubtful - it is better to be deceived. Once this is decided then doubt cannot catch you.

Doubt is powerful because it gives you cleverness. Doubt is powerful because it says to you, 'You will be unprotected. I will protect you.' The doubt says, 'I am not against trust. Trust, but first observe. First be doubtful and then trust. When you are convinced that there is no possibility of being deceived, then trust.' Doubt never says, 'I am against trust.' No, doubt always says, 'In fact I am trying to help you to find someone to trust. I am just a servant to you. If you listen to me you will be able to find somebody whom you can trust.'

But you will never find the right person because once you have become accustomed to doubt, it is a chronic thing. Even if you come face to face with God, you will continue doubting. It has nothing to do with the person outside. It is just that you have a habit. You cannot relax it immediately. If you have been protecting it and watching it and feeding it for your whole life, you cannot put it aside.

Many times trust will create very insecure situations, will lead you on dangerous paths. You will become more vulnerable, will be easily cheated and deceived. But still I say that whatsoever the cost, trust is the only treasure to be protected.

And now you will understand this, because your heart will immediately show you what is going wrong with your system. It is a good indication that you are able to feel trust and doubt and their impact on you.

So whenever you feel that something is contracting in the heart, immediately look inside - doubt has arisen somewhere. Somewhere you have lost contact with your trust. Somewhere you are no more in tune with life. You have become separate.

Doubt separates. Trust unites. And when you are united, the heart flows well, in a rhythm, harmonious. That's what I call being holy. To be in the heart and the heart flowering - that's what a holy man is. To be in the head, calculating, clever, is to be unholy.

So just watch it and don't lose this indication again. Good.

[A sannyasin who is a primal therapist said:

Osho checks his energy.]

It has left a deep scar, but once you become conscious about it, it can be dissolved. Scars exist only unconsciously, and you are perfectly conscious because your breathing moves perfectly into the same pattern it would have been in when you were being suffocated. So your body remembers it perfectly. Just being conscious about it is enough; it can be undone.

There is nothing to be worried about, but it has been there. That may be the cause why you cannot feel a deep trust towards life; that's why you are not flowing. The mother is the first experience of life, the mother is the first contact with the world, so whatsoever impact the mother leaves on you is the impact of the world. If you cannot trust your mother, then you cannot trust anybody. It is impossible.

How to trust? If even your mother was trying to suffocate you, what to say about others?

So you are afraid. Because of that fear, energy is there but it cannot dare to make contacts with the world But you are alert and it will drop. Just try an experiment, with any woman. You can look around and find any woman who reminds you of your mother. Go to her and tell her this is from me.

Every day sit for fifteen minutes holding her hands, and tell her to be loving towards you. Just feel that she is your mother.

You need to be reconnected to your mother, that's all. Once that contact happens, you will start feeling flowing. Every night before you go to sleep, put this [Osho hands him a box] on your heart for two minutes so what your mother has not done, I will do. Then put this under your pillow and go to sleep. Very good.

[A group member says:

No, no, there is no need. And no need to think about it, because that's how the mind is trying to create a problem. Once the problem is there, you will be closed again. No need for a problem right now. Just enjoy that breeze that is passing through you. Enjoy this lightness that has happened to you and these moments of no problems.

[The group member adds:

Losing your memory! Nothing to worry about. It may just be that because you are feeling so light and at ease, you feel you are losing your memory. Nobody loses their memory that way. But the mind will not be functioning too much, that's why it feels light.

Don't be worried. The memory can be brought back. But don't miss these moments. Just live them, enjoy them. Look at the trees... at the sky... at the stars. Lie down on the earth and feel more and more open. Let life pass through you like wind.

And don't do any groups. Just join the music group. Sing, be light and delightful. And don't be worried that something should happen or has gone wrong or why don't you have any problems. The mind is trying to bring you back.