The supreme power - corresponding to the valley female and mysterious
CHAPTER 6: SUTRA I & 2
THE SPIRIT OF THE VALLEY
THE FEMALE MYSTERY THUS DO WE NAME.
IT'S GATE FROM WHICH AT FIRST THEY ISSUED FORTH.
IS CALLED THE ROOT FROM WHICH GREW HEAVEN AND EARTH, USE GENTLY AND WITHOUT THE TOUCH OF PAIN.
That which is born, verily dies. That which begins must end also.
He alone can go beyond death, who is not born. He alone can be infinite who is eternal. Light is created, it can be destroyed. Darkness is eternal. Perhaps you have never thought on these lines.
The sun rises in the morning, sets in the evening. The lamp burns and the wick is spent, and the flame is no more. When the lamp was not lit, darkness was there. Now when the lamp is lit, the darkness cannot be seen. The flame dies down and darkness is back where it was. Darkness is not affected at all. Darkness can never be put out. Darkness never ends; because there is no beginning to darkness. For light there is a beginning and so there is an end.
Another most interesting fact is, we can create light so we can also end it. We cannot create darkness and hence cannot des-troy it. The power of darkness is infinite. The power of light is not infinite.
Lao Tzu says: "THE VALLEY SPIRIT DIES NOT. IT IS EVER THE SAME AS IT IS."
What is this Spirit of the Valley?
Wherever there are mountains, there are bound to be valleys. But the mountains are created and destroyed, the valley is not. The valley means, the negative, the darkness. The mountain is the positive. If we take the right meaning, what is a valley? A valley is the absence of something.
A mountain is the presence of something. Light is the presence of something whereas darkness is absence, non-presence. If I am in this room, I can be taken out of this room. When I am not present in this room my absence will b there and this you cannot throw out. There is no way to touch absence. If I am alive, I can be killed but if I die, you can do nothing to my death. Nothing can be done with that which is not. Therefore we can never create darkness nor destroy it.
The Valley Spirit is Lao Tzu's nomenclature. What is this Valley-Spirit? The valley does not exist, it only appears between two mountains. This space between the mountains remains the same even long after the mountains are no more. The valley remains where it was, only it does not appear as a valley once the mountains are no more. When the mountains spring up again, the valley is seen once more. Similarly darkness does not go anywhere. When you light a lamp, it merely hides. It becomes invisible because of the light. When the light goes off, darkness appears just as it was.
Perhaps darkness is unaware of the existence or non-existence of light. Lao Tzu's entire thinking, his entire philosophy is based on the Negative aspect in the Void, the Emptiness.
Therefore Lao Tzu says, "The Female-Mystery, thus do we name." This needs to be understood and we shall have to go a little deeper for this is the original base of Lao Tzu's tantra. What is meant by the female-mystery. It is the same mystery of the valley. What is the mystery of a female, is the mystery of darkness. The mystery of a female is a very deep mystery of Existence.
This is why the very ancient religions of the world, looked upon God as a female and not as a male.
Their understanding was much deeper than the understanding of people who look upon God as father. As the male influence increased in the world however, God was also given the male-concept.
But this father-concept of God is relatively new, whereas God the mother is an ancient concept.
The actual fact is, the very concept of 'father' is very new - whereas the concept of mother is very old. The father-concept came into existence only about 5,000 to 6,000 years ago. Older than the concept of father is the concept of uncle. In the animal kingdom, there is no concept of 'father' whereas the mother is certain. The concept of father is man-made therefore. Now when we installed man as the father, we very quickly removed woman from the throne of God-hood and placed the man there. Then those who conceived of God as the father, quickly lost the sutras of feminine-mystery.
its secrets were lost to them.
Now Lao Tzu talks in the times when there was no concept of God, the father, in the world. This requires to be studied properly. We shall have to see it from many angles. Only the shall we be able to understand it.
A child is born. The father is accidental in the birth of the child. His feelings are not very deep. New scientists say we can do without the father. It will not be long before the part of the father will be wiped out. The birth comes through the mother, so the key to the mystery of creating life, lies within the mother. There is no such key or mystery in the father's body. Therefore the father can at any time be proclaimed redundant. Even an injection can perform his part in the creation of the child.
Besides, if I want to become the father of a child, 10,000 years hence, I can; but if a mother desires to be the mother of a child 10,000 years hence, she cannot be. This is because, the mother's presence is very necessary, the father's is not. The father's sperms can be conserved in a deep freeze for any length of time. Even after 10,000 years, they can cause the birth of a child, if injected into a woman.
The presence of the father is not at all necessary. Very soon children will be born posthumously.
The father may be dead hundreds of years hence, his child can still be born. The reason is, nature does not take any extensive or deep work from the male in the process of creation. The profound work is taken from the mother - the work of creation.
Psychologists therefore deduce that woman does such a great creative job - that of producing a child - that no need to find substitutes remains. This is why women as a whole, are not creative, whereas men are. Man creates pictures, statues, makes discoveries in science, writes poetry, creates music.
You will be surprised to know that even though cooking is supposed to be a woman's forte, yet the best dishes are creations of man New dishes are always invented by man. Any big hotel or even in a king's palace, women are never employed for cooking. They keep male cooks. Whether it is a picture that is painted or an image created or whether a poem or a novel is written, it is always the man who does it. What is the reason?
Scientists say man is jealous of woman. He even feels inferior to her. Therefore, he also strives to create something so that he can stand up before woman and say that he too is capable of creating.
A woman does not indulge in these lesser creations because of the fact that she is instrumental in creating a human life which is a very great act in itself. There is no longer any desire for creation within her once she becomes a mother. So when a woman becomes a mother, a great work of art, no matter how great, pales into insignificance as an act of creation, before her child. This is why barren women always strive to create like men. She competes with men to create something. If a woman becomes a mother in the true sense of the word, her existence becomes fulfilled in her most inner-most depths. Nature has chosen woman as a source of creation.
We shall have to understand the Female-Mystery that Lao Tzu speaks of, in the female body, in order to understand the Female-Mystery of Existence. Our difficulties are manifold because all the effort to understand Existence, has been done by the male. All the philosophy has been created by men. Not a single religion, up to now, has been found around a woman-prophet. All shastras belong to man. This is why, Lao Tzu had difficulty in finding a partner for he has praised the female-mystery.
When a man thinks or does something, he always does so from where he stands himself and so all his creations are male oriented.
Also, man can never understand woman. Therefore he always experiences that woman is something mysterious, something that slips away. What is this that slips away? Verily, man and woman stay together. Man is born out of woman, he lives all his life with her, he loves her, then also what is that something within a woman that is forever strange and unknown to man? This very strange and unknown element in woman, Lao Tzu calls the Female-Mystery. The mystery of the valley, the mystery of darkness, the excellence of negation! What is within woman?
When a woman falls in love, she is never aggressive. She is not aggressive even in love - she waits.
She gives you the opportunity of aggression. You can never tell a woman - "You entangled me in your love, you married me". And although the fact is, that it is the woman who manoeuvres, she never takes the initiative. This is her mystery - to draw without any action - non-active attraction. Their very presence attracts. That which Krishna has described as 'in-action', that is the very mystery of woman.
Even when she falls in love, there is no hint from her. Her presence attracts you. It is you who first make the declaration of love. The woman is never the first to declare. She never takes the initiative, for initiative is aggressive, it is positive. When I say to someone, "I love you," I step out of myself, I have caused aggression, I have trespassed into someone else's boundary. A woman never trespasses, even then she is attractive - what is the reason? Verily, her attraction is negative, non-active. She calls but you cannot hear her voice. She stretches out her hand but they are not visible to sight. The invitation is there but there is no form to it.
The action has to be taken by man. He has to take the first step. He has to go to her, appeal to her.
Even then she may refuse and walk away.
Whenever a woman says yes, hastily, know that she too is ignorant of the female-mystery for as soon as the woman says 'yes', she becomes useless. Her denial, her refusal - her constant refusal is the mystery of the infinite essence. Her 'no' however is such as a man can never say. When a man says 'no' he means no. When a woman says 'no' she means yes. If a woman has to refuse she does not say no, for that also, is too much for her.
Mulla Nasruddin fell in love with a girl. He is terribly distressed. He went home and told his father.
Mulla is very sad and worried. His father said, "Why are you so worried?"
Mulla said, "I am in great difficulty. The woman I have been pursuing since the last nine months, has dealt a final blow to me." The father said, "You are inexperienced. When a woman says no, it never means no." Nasruddin said, "That I also know but she did not say no. She called me a dog! If she had even said 'no', I would have been after her for another nine years. She did not give me even that much lead!"
When a woman says 'yes', she speaks the language of man. Therefore, 'yes' always sounds hollow and insignificant and in a deeper sense, unethical when it comes from a woman's lips, for even this much is aggression. All the mystery and secret of a woman lies in the fact that she says no and she invites you. She makes no commitment on her own. All commitments come from the man. Yet, do not be under the illusion that a woman has done nothing. She does a great deal, only her method of doing is negative, like the valley or the darkness. Negation is her method. To step away is an invitation to come near, her very act of freeing herself is a call. This is feminine mystery. If we go deep into this, we shall understand very many things.
Even in the matter of sex, woman is passive. Never in the history of the world has a woman been accused for an outrage. This is an impossibility for her. A man commits outrage. 99 times out of also 99 Woman's personality is receptive. Not only this but even her body has been so designed by nature that she can be nothing but receptive. It is the man who commits the aggression, which is absolutely coincidental and which can be done away with. The man's body is aggressive but creation takes place only through the woman who is receptive only. Scientists say that birth always takes place in darkness. The seed sprouts only in the darkness of the soil. Take the seeds out in the light and the seed stops sprouting. The birth of a child takes place in the darkness of the mother's womb. Light turns birth into death.
The mysterious sutras of Existence are always formed in darkness, in the hidden, secret world. That alone can be secret, which is passive. That which is aggressive carl never be hidden. Therefore man's personality is more superficial and with little depth. The woman's personality is much more deep and less superficial.
This is the very reason why a man tires so soon whereas a woman does not, for aggression is very tiring. Therefore there cannot be male-prostitutes for one intercourse tires him. woman could become a prostitute for even fifty acts of sex, do not tire her. She is merely receptive, she does nothing. So a very strange and unique happening took place: women became prostitutes, men could not; men could be aggressive, women could not be; men became ruffians, woman could not.
You will be surprised tO know that to a 100 girls that are born, there are 116 boys born. Nature keeps the balance for the body of a male is weak. We always think that man is the stronger of the two but this is a mere notion. That is why 116 boys are born to every 101 girls that are born, 16 boys die before they reach the age of 14 and so the number becomes equal. Nature has to produce 16 boys more; they are the extras needed to keep the balance.
The average age of a woman is more than a man's by Date: Fri, 5 to 7 years. If a man lives for 70 years, the woman lives till 75. How much labour the woman's body undergoes! The labour involved in giving birth to one child is the same as the labour involved in producing one atom-bomb! And a woman can produce 20 children and still live five years longer than man. Women are less prone to illness also. The illnesses she does suffer from are all caused by the male-dominated society she lives in and the harassment thereof.
Seventy per cent of her ailments are due to the male-domination. Man arranges his affairs from his point of view and woman has to adjust herself accordingly. This is the cause of all her illnesses. Hysteria is the result of adjusting to the male-society.
If there be a woman dominated society the incidence of hysteria among the men would be five times more. Almost all men would turn insane. It is the quality of self:resistance that has kept our woman- folk from ali going mad. Yet we find women ill-tempered, jealous, quarrelsome. She indulges in quarrel all the twenty-four hours. This is all because she is not allowed to be what she is born to be by our society, which is always demanding other things of them. This makes their creative power turn towards perversion, destruction and unnatural activities.
Woman has been so long and so much suppressed and tyrannized by men that people (and also women themselves) have come to believe themselves to be the weaker sex. I wish to tell you that those who know, know differently; and what they know is that women are so powerful and strong that if they had not been subdued they would have suppressed men long ago. Woman needs to be subdued from childhood for she can prove dangerous. Woman has been suppressed the world over only for this reason. Had she been allowed to grow up free, man's plight would have been pitiable.
Therefore she has been kept in check from all sides, right from her childhood.
And the injunctions on women were very much like the Chinese custom of putting a little girl's feet in iron shoes so that her feet did not grow. She could not run, she could not walk and always needed the support of man. Then the men turned round and told them, "You are so frail, you are so delicate!"
They rated this frailty very high for that was the only way they could control them!
A woman can prove stronger than man, if she is allowed to develop completely for nature has endowed her with the power of creation. The power of creation is so great a power that it can only be contained by those who are strong; for they alone are capable of holding the embryo.
Lao Tzu says, "Understand this Female-Mystery well." This Spirit of the Valley never tires, never dies. Understand well this passivity, this art of acting without action, this non-violent aggression, this secret of calling without calling - understand it well. Lao Tzu says, "Only by understanding this secret, can a man attain the Supreme Truth." We can never attain the Supreme Truth with our male-attitude for no act of aggression can be committed on the Supreme Truth. We cannot storm the house of God with a rifle or a sword!
Only he attains God who has thoroughly understood this Female-Mystery, who has so surrendered himself, who has so let go of himself that the power of God descends into him - just as in the act of love, the woman lets go of herself so entirely for the man to descend into her.
A unique fact has begun to come within our notice since the last ten years. The authentic woman is completely lost and the pseudo-women of today are merely the creations of man. Those whom we call the women of today are no more than play-things designed by man. she is not a natural woman - as she should be.
The Western Scientists are carrying out a small experiment in which they are trying out a new method. Tantra has worked on this subject in this country, some 2,000 years ago and discovered that it is possible. In the sex-act, the man is active; if he is not, the act is not possible. If the man is old, or weak or if his genitals become lax, the act is impossible. But in this experiment that is being carried out in the West, the scientists declare that if a man's genitals have become weak and inactive, this does not matter. If the woman really loves the man, as soon as her genitals reach the man's, it silently sucks up his organ within herself. The man has no need to make any effort. If the woman's love is strong, her body sucks up his organ as air is sucked up into an empty space. This is a very astonishing fact.
And if this does not come about the only reason is that the woman does not love this man therefore, her body does not perform the act of suction. Hence all actions of man are aggressive. If a woman loves, her entire biological set up is such that she draws in the man within her.
Lao Tzu says, "This is the mystery of woman, that without doing anything she does all." If man wishes to do something, he has to perform the act. The mystery of religion is also feminine. If anyone sets out to attain God, he will never attain him. If someone however keeps still where he is and opens the doors of his heart, God enters now and here, this very moment! Those who go far to seek, travel far into the infinite, wander from birth-to-birth, are never able to attain Him for the secret of attaining Him, is to become receptive. We have to leave ourselves open. We should be ready to see that our gates are not shut when He comes. Our love should be a passive awaiting - that is all.
A woman can wait for many births for her lover to come; a man cannot. He does not know what it is to wait, it is missing in his mental make-up. He wants everything here and now - instantly. He wants instant coffee as well as instant sex! Therefore the system of marriage was evolved by man for instant sex is only possible in marriage. A man can never wait. He is fretful, ardent, restive, filled with tensions. A woman can wait - wait till eternity!
In this country, the custom of keeping a woman widow and allowing a man to marry after his wife's death, was not so much to tyrannize them but because the element of her ability to bear and wait was also taken into consideration. This quality of her's was well understood and recognised. A woman can wait not only life-long for her lover but for many lives to come. This trust was put in her by society. So when in India this custom came into practice, it was not only that it was because it was favourable for men; rather as far as I understand, this was a great insult to the male-sex, and a very deep-seated reverence for women that they could be trusted to wait. Since a man could not stay without sex, he was not forced not to remarry whereas for a woman, widow-hood was compulsory.
The compulsion for widow-hood was also because in the awaiting, her female-element revealed itself to the full. The more opportunity she had of non-active awaiting, the deeper became the depths within her. Then her inner mystery becomes more tender and fragrant.
I have read a very astonishing matter which I could not find an answer to. The catholics go to make confessions to their priests. It is the experience of many priests, that when women confess their sins, they undergo a very curious-feeling. This is natural since they are merely priests by profession - trained into priesthood.
The worst thing that Christianity has given this world, is educated priests. No one can be trained into priest-hood. You can train a person to become a lawyer or a doctor but never to be a priest.
It is just like the fact that there never can be a trained poet. If a person is educated in poetry, he will at most write inferior verse. Poetry will never flow out of him. To become a priest entails natural capability, attained by sadhana. It cannot be taught. Christianity has, however educated their priests.
Anyone can take this training and attain the degree of Doctor of Divinity. Divinity that is attained by a certificate, is no divinity. You cannot decide divinity by a mere piece of paper!
So when women confess before these so-called priests, their confessions become very tempting.
It is but natural that when a woman confesses her sins in a secluded place to a priest, it becomes a matter of uneasiness for the man. The woman feels relieved of her burden of sins but the load is passed on to the priest. One statement of these priests is very astonishing. They say they find widows more attractive and tempting. What could be the reason?
Actually if a widow is a widow in actuality, the beauty of her personality increases a thousand fold, because her awaiting makes her female-mystery more mysterious and profound. The mystery in an unmarried girl also, is the mystery of awaiting. Therefore everywhere in the world, there is the custom of marrying a virgin girl. If a girl is not virgin, you will never have the opportunity to know the Female. Mystery for the mystery in her is already broken. She is no longer deep and mysterious for she has not undergone her full period of awaiting to allow the required time for the flower of mystery to bloom within her. Those societies that laid great stress on the virginity of women have not worried about the bachelor-hood of man. The reason is simple; this makes no difference whereas the virginity of a woman is very essential for there is a beauty in her virginity which is lost after marriage.
This beauty returns to the woman when she begins to be-come a mother for now she stands at the door-step of a greater awaiting - an awaiting for a great mystery to unfold itself. When a woman becomes pregnant, the husband is worried. This is natural, for there is no awaiting as far as the man is concerned; for him it is yet another economic problem. The mother, however, becomes tender. As the child develops within her, the depth in her eyes grows deeper. There is the unfoldment of new elements within her body. The beauty of a pregnant woman is heavy with the Female Mystery. What is this mystery? Passivity is the secret. She has not to do anything to become a mother. The child grows on its own within her. She has only to wait. Actually she has to stop doing anything and just wait as the development of the child progresses within her. She then is simply awaiting, weaving dreams.
If a woman stops all activities in the last months of her pregnancy, she can see those dreams which can be forerunners of her child's future. This is why the dreams of the mothers of Mahavira and Buddha became so priceless. It is said in the case of both Mahavira and Buddha, that before their birth, their mothers had dreams. These dreams occurred every day and in them they could see the signs and marks of their coming lives. If a mother is really a mother and if she is in a complete passive state vis-a-vis the spirit within her womb, she can write the horoscope of her child. No astronomer or priest is required. And if a mother cannot write the horoscope of her child, no one else can, for so much one-ness, so much identity can never be with another person. There is not so much feeling of one-ness between a husband and a wife as between a mother and son for the son is an extension of her very self.
A woman has to do nothing to become a mother. A man has to do a lot to become a father. The mother to be has merely to observe a silent awaiting; and in this silent awaiting, two things are born: one is the child and the other is the mother. This is why, the highest honour and respect that has been given to woman in the East (where the Feminine Mystery was recognized) has been as a mother. This is a very astonishing fact.
People ask me, "You call the sannyasins 'Swami' but you call the Sannyasin is 'Ma' even those who are not married?" Actually the mother is the supreme dignity of a woman. A woman is on the highest pinnacle of her glory when she becomes a mother. Her peak experience is not that of being a beloved or a wife, these are the mere steps that lead her to the peak of mother-hood. Wherever a society has considered the woman to have reached the height of her woman-hood when she becomes a wife, the women have been very unhappy for that is not their ultimate experience. The man of this society is happy for him, his peak is reached when he becomes a husband or a father or a lover. The same is not the case with women however.
The secret of woman's motherhood is according to Lao Tzu, like darkness. There are many more things we should take into consideration:
When a male child is born, there are no sex-hormones within him at birth. His semen begins to be formed later on. But a girl is born with all the ova within her! All the ova she would need in her life-time are there within her right from birth. A woman is a complete woman from the time of her birth. A man is born incomplete. This is the reason why boys are so restless whereas girls are quiet.
There is an uneasiness about boys that is born along with them. The beauty and demeanor of a girl's personality has very much to do with the peace within her. We have to make an effort to make a girl uneasy and we have to make an effort to make a boy relax. This is natural.
Biologists say that the nucleus of the egg from which a female is born contains similar chromosomes - xx whereas the nucleus of the egg from which a male is born are not similar, they are x, y.
The elements that go into forming a female are alike, therefore the woman is graceful and shapely whereas man is not. The well-balanced chromosomes give the shapeliness of curves to a woman's body. There is no such balance in the male body. Besides, the female body is made out of 48 chromosomes - the full number of chromosomes from both the male and female egg - whereas the male body is formed of 47 chromosomes.
Biologists say it is the lack of this one chromosome that makes a man so restless and sends him running all his life. He runs from one place to another, from earth to the moon. It is the search for that one chromosome, the lack of which he feels in his lack of perfection.
This balanced, peaceful, patient personality of a woman, Lao Tzu says, is a profound mystery of Existence. God is in Existence, like the making of a woman and not like a man. Therefore we cannot see God, nor can we catch hold of Him. He is present - definitely - but His Presence is feminine-like, as good as not there. The more we try to catch-hold of Him, the more He eludes us, the farther He goes away from us and the more difficult His search becomes.
Existence is feminine. This means whatever manifests in Existence is hidden in Existence from the beginning - just as I said that whatever is to be born of a woman is already present within her at birth. There is no new addition after her birth.
She is born complete. There is growth within her but no addition. This is the reason that she is satisfied in life. Her satisfaction is astonishing or else, she could not have been kept a slave for so long. She is content in her slavery, she is content to live under all conditions. It is difficult to make a woman dissatisfied. It can only be possible if there is any biological change within her. This has happened in the West, where woman has become restless.
When a woman becomes restless, she is difficult to pacify, for this restlessness of hers is very unnatural. This is why a woman does not remain restless but goes mad. A woman is either serene, peaceful or mad. She cannot be anything in between. There are no gradations in her. A man is never very peaceful. nor so insane. He sways within the degrees of restlessness. This is why the most tense conditions do not make him insane and the most peaceful conditions fail to make him completely tranquil.
Nietzsche has made a very thought-provoking statement. He has said, "To my mind, people like Buddha must have had a large proportion of the female-element". Nietzsche has called Buddha womanish. I think there is a deep understanding behind this remark. This is the truth - when a man becomes completely tranquil, he becomes effeminate. This is bound to be. He will become so serene and calm that all the uneasiness, all the restlessness and tensions that are inevitable in a man's being, are all gone - Lost!
This is the reason why the images of Buddha, Krishna and Mahavira are made symbolically clean- shaven. It is not that these personalities had no beard or moustache but these were symbolically dropped from their images, for they no longer gave reference of their character. There is only one image where Buddha is shown with a beard and therefore people say it is a false image for no where else has Buddha been shown with a beard. There is one image of Mahavira that has a moustache shown. People do not take this image to be authentic either. The temple where this image is, is called the temple of the Mustachioed Mahavira. It is however not possible that Mahavira or Buddha had no moustache, no beard. There could be solitary exceptions where the lack of hormones could bring about this condition but that is rare. Besides, it cannot be that the 24 Tirthankaras of the Jainas had no moustaches and no beards! Such a big coincidence is impossible. The absence of these male signs on the faces of Mahavira and Buddha are the symbolic acceptance of the fact, that these personalities had entered into the feminine mystery.
Remember, when I say, 'feminine', I do not mean only 'woman'. It is quite possible a woman may never enter the feminine mystery and a man may enter. The Feminine Mystery is a Sutra of Existence.
Lao Tzu therefore says, "THE FEMALE MYSTERY, THUS DO WE NAME." There is a reason for this simile for it is full of meaning. This mystery cannot be compared to man for this mystery is the Supreme Tranquility. It is so tranquil that its presence is not felt, for a presence can only be felt when it is conveyed.
Therefore, the real beloved is not the one who always makes her presence felt to her lover. When the husband comes home, the wife devises a thousand and one ways of making her presence felt; the husband tries his utmost to ignore her presence - he re-opens the newspaper, he has read ten times. Then all the noises of the house that the woman creates, remain on the other side of the newspaper; it becomes a wall between the husband and the wife. The most authentic beloved is the one who has become aware of the feminine-mystery. She does not let her lover feel her presence at all!
I shall tell you of a wonderful incident in the life of Vachaspati Mishra. His father urged him to marry.
Vachaspati understood nothing of marriage. He however, bowed to his father's wishes, taking it for granted that whatever he said was correct.
Vachaspati was engrossed in the search for God. He understood nothing else. If anyone talked about anything, he took it to be a topic of God. So when his father asked him, "Will you marry?"
He said, "Yes". Perhaps he thought his father said, "Will you meet God?" and he said yes. Just as it happens with people generally, if a person is seeking wealth and you ask him, "Will you seek religion?" He will think you are asking him about wealth. Whatever the search within, that only rings in our ears. So Vachaspati also heard what was within him perhaps and said yes.
When he was made to sit on the horse to go to the bride's place he asked, "Where are you taking me?" His father said, "You fool! Don't you know you are getting married? Did you not agree to get married?" So Vachaspati thought it was not right to refuse at that moment. Since he had agreed even though without knowing, he took it to be God's wish that he be married.
He returned home with his bride but it never occurred to him that he had brought a bride home!
How could he remember for it was not he who said yes to marriage, nor he who got married. He was engrossed in his own work. He was writing a commentary on BRAHMA-SUTRA. He finished this work after 12 years. For 12 years his wife would quietly light the lamp for him in the evening and place flowers at his feet each morning. In the afternoons she brought his meals and when he finished, she quietly withdrew it. For 12 years Vachaspati had not the slightest awareness of his wife. The wife made no effort to let him know she was there. On the contrary, she took all possible care that he may not, even by mistake, come to know of her presence. She wanted to cause no disturbance in his work.
After 12 years on the night of a full-moon, when his work was completed and Vachaspati rose to go to bed, his wife picked up the lamp to show him the way. For the first time Vachaspati (so the story goes) saw his wife's hand - Now after 12 years, when his work was over and his mind was disengaged from work. He saw the hands, the bangles and heard the tinkle of her bangles. He turned round and saw her and he exclaimed, "Woman! What are you doing, alone here at this time of night? Who are you? From where have you entered, the whole house is closed? Where have you to go, shall I reach you home?" His wife said, "For 12 years, you have been busy with your work.
Perhaps you have forgotten - you have been so busy! It is not possible that you should remember.
If you can think back, 12 years from now, perhaps you may be able to recollect - I am the woman you brought to this house as your wedded wife."
Vachaspati wept, "It is too late now!" He moaned. "I have already made the vow to leave home when my composition was completed. Now it is time for me to leave! It is almost dawn and I am ready to leave. Why did you not tell me earlier, foolish girl! You should have given me some hint! Now it is too late." Saying this, he wept like a child. Seeing her husband cry, she fell on his feet and said, "Whatever I was to achieve, I have achieved through these tears. I wish for nothing more. Go without any compunction. What more could I have achieved than this, that Vachaspati's eyes are filled with tears for me? I have received more than I deserved."
Vachaspati has named his book BHAMATI. This word has nothing to do with the book. It is his wife's name. He said to her "I can do nothing for you but let the world forget me, let it not forget you. I shall name my book after you." It is a fact, no one remembers Vachaspati but Bhamati is remembered by many. BHAMATI is a wonderful exposition of BRAHMA SUTRA. there is none to equal it. This woman must be having the Feminine-Mystery.
It is my firm belief that she attained so much of Vachaspati in that single moment, as she would never have attained by a thousand other means. The way Vachaspati must have become one with the heart of this woman, no woman could ever establish such oneness with her husband.
The Feminine-Mystery, this non-presence of this woman touched the very life-breath of Vachaspati, twelve years - and this woman did not allow him to feel her presence! And every day she lit his lamp, every day she fed him. Vachaspati asked, "Then was it you who placed flowers at my feet each morning? And was it you who put the tray before me and was it you who lit the lamp for me every evening? But how is it that I did not ever see your hand?" Bhamati replied, "If my hand had become visible to you, it would only have meant that my love was lacking, I could wait".
So it is not necessary that all women obtain this Feminine-Mystery. This is only a name given by Lao Tzu for this name is symptomatic, suggestive and enables us to understand this term. A man also can attain this Female-Mystery. Actually, only those can establish their identity with Existence who have thus reached this prayerful awaiting.
The door of this Feminine-Mystery is the original source of heaven and earth.
Whether it is the birth of matter or whether it is the birth of consciousness; whether the earth is born or heaven, everything is born through the mystery that lies hidden in the depths of Existence.
Therefore I have said that those who have looked upon God as mother - as Durga or Amba - their understanding is much deeper than those who look upon Him as Father. If God exists anywhere, He is feminine, for man does not have the ability and the patience to give birth to such a vast Universe.
That which gives birth to the myriads of stars and moons must have a womb, without which it is impossible.
Therefore the three extensions of the Jewish order - Judaism, Christianity and Islam - have given a very wrong concept of God to the world - that of God, the Father. This is a very dangerous concept for it gratifies the ego of man. Man looks upon himself as established in the form of God but this has no connection with the Reality of Existence. More befitting, more proper, is the concept of a Universal Mother. But this can only be understood when you understand the Feminine Mystery, when you understand Lao Tzu. Else it cannot be understood.
Have you ever seen the image of Kali? She is the mother, She is terrible! In one hand she holds a human skull! She is the mother - Her eyes are filled with the ocean of tenderness. Down below - She stands on the chest of someone! Someone lies crushed under Her feet! Why? Because that which creates, destroys also. Destruction is the other part of creation. Those were wonderful people who conceived this image. They were people with great imagination who could visualise great possibilities. They have erected the image of Mother standing on a dead body! In her hands she holds the head of a dead man, dripping blood. Round her neck she wears a necklace of skulls but She has the eyes of the Mother, the Heart of the Mother from where the milk flows - and yet, the necklace of skulls!
Actually, the Annihilation of the Universe starts from the very place where creation starts. The circle completes at the same point. Therefore the mother gives birth but when she becomes terrible she can also give death. When a woman becomes terrible she becomes extremely dangerous. She has a great store of energy. The energy is the same whether it creates or destroys.
The imagination of those who conceived of the Mother as an embodiment both of creation and destruction was a very far-sighted imagination but together with this it was very deep and very near Truth.
Lao Tzu says, "That alone is the original source of the Earth and Heaven." Everything takes birth therein. But remember everything is re-absorbed in the same place. That is the ultimate source also. It is altogether continuous. This Feminine Existence, this passive awaiting empty Existence is never divided. It is continuous - without any discontinuity whatsoever. As I said before, the lamp is lighted and extinguished; but darkness is continuous. Birth comes, life becomes visible; but death is ceaseless. Mountains appear and disappear, the valley remains forever. When the mountains are there, the valley can be seen; when they are no more, the valley cannot be seen but its existence is ceaseless - altogether ceaseless. It does not cease when the mountains cease. Its power is indivisible, indestructible. No matter how much energy is withdrawn from this emptiness, it never decreases.
A man misses, a woman never misses. A man is enfeebled, a woman never.
Those whom we ordinarily call women, they too do not waste away as much as men. If a woman gains the full knowledge of her Feminine Mystery, she can remain established in an immaculate beauty even in old age. This is difficult for man. A man comes like a storm and goes away. If a woman attains to the height of her motherhood, she can remain beautiful till her last moment of existence.
A man can maintain his beauty till the end only if he penetrates the female mystery. This happens sometimes.
In this connection I shall give you another example. We have not made any pictures of Buddha, Krishna or Mahavira in their old age. All pictures depict them young. But Buddha died at the age of all of their young age. This is symbolic and purposely so. When a person becomes so engrossed and universed in Existence, he is forever young and fresh. He has attained the sutra within him for keeping constantly young: Now he is established indivisibly and ceaselessly in his energy.
"Make use of it," Lao Tzu says, "Make use of this constant energy. Make use of this Feminine-Energy and its natural services become available to you." You must know how to use this energy for its doors are always open to you. This feminine element, is always ready to give, you just be ready to receive."
"USE GENTLY AND WITHOUT THE TOUCH OF PAIN LONG AND UNBROKEN, THUS ITS POWER REMAIN."
Remember, the more gentle you are, the more effeminate you are. The more manly you are, the less gentle you shall be. This is why when a man tries to be gentle, his male elements begin to get less. So a very strange and wonderful happening takes place, as it has happened in America of late. Today the White American's fear of the Black Negro is not entirely for economic reasons. It is more on the ground of sexuality. The white man has become so gentle that he knows that on the sexual level, his wife would prefer a negro to him. The negro is potentially more sexual because he is coarse and crude and un-gentle. He belongs to the jungles. But a barbaric man has a particular attraction - the attraction of the male, which is very titillating.
A man who is very gentle, becomes effeminate. If a love-story is to be made round Buddha; it would be a very difficult task. A love-story needs a masculine, coarse, lover. And the more crude he is, the more titillating, the more manly. So when a Western film director chooses a hero for his films, he takes care to see that he has hair on his chest and his arms. When he chooses a heroine, she should be without any hair on her body. The man should appear a little savage, a little raw, then the sexual attraction is more. The Negro is feared today and the fear is less monetary and more psychological.
As a man becomes gentle, he becomes more effeminate, more mild and the fun of the thing is; the milder he becomes, the less sexual, he is. Then this process of his getting less and less sexual, becomes the path that leads to the Supreme Mystery of life.
Lao Tzu says, "USE GENTLY AND WITHOUT TOUCH OF PAIN." Remember this. It needs a little explanation.
Whenever a man touches a woman, he wishes to give her many kinds of pain. Actually, the love of a man, viewed methodologically, is that of giving pain to the woman. If he wants to show more love, he will press her hand harder. If his kiss becomes more loving, he will bite, he will claw. In the old KAMA-SHASTRAS, this clawing is very much extolled: "He is no man who does not claw his woman till she bleeds." That is a sign of a lover - clawing! If the lover is an expert, he would be like Marquis de Sade. When nails were not effective, he kept knives and forks with him.
The method of a man's love is violent. Therefore, the more he loves, the more violent he becomes. It is a great possibility that if such a man loves completely, he may even murder his wife - all because of love! Such crimes have taken place and the courts have found it difficult to judge these cases where there has been no element of enmity or hatred - rather profusion of love. The man is so filled with love that whilst pressing his beloved, he does not know when he pressed the life out of her!
Lao Tzu says, 'Use gently'. He is talking of this Supreme Truth, which he says, one must handle very gently "... AND WITHOUT THE TOUCH OF PAIN." Let not Existence feel the slightest twitch of pain through you. Then and then alone will you be able to understand the Feminine Mystery.
When a woman makes love to a man, she places her hand so lightly on his shoulder as if she is afraid of causing him even the slightest inconvenience of touching him. And that is the secret of a woman. The more her hand touches as if it is not touching, the more loving it becomes. When a woman presses a man's shoulder, she is giving news of the fact that she has stepped apart from the Feminine Mystery and she is aping the man. The woman just lets herself go, she floats in the man's love. She only shows her willingness. More than this, she does not do. She does not even touch a man so that the touch becomes ungentle!
There is a great arising in the West of late. The learned and wise women of the West - if so we can call them - assert that a woman should be as aggressive as a man. When she makes love, she should be as violent. She certainly will become like a man if she inculcates such violence and aggression but she will then undoubtedly, miss the Feminine Mystery that Lao Tzu talks about. We must concede however, that Lao Tzu is much much wiser. His wisdom is the ultimate in wisdom. He talks from the plane where there is a wisdom beyond wisdom, where all intellectualism fails and the Perfect Wisdom is born. He talks from that plane.
This applies to both men and women however.
Let me tell you one more thing in the end. Let not the ladies feel very proud within themselves for there are hardly any 'women' among them. It is a very difficult task to be a woman. To be a woman, is the highest experience. Let not the men-folk be distressed for there is not much difference between them and the ladies. Both have to go a long way. Understand this, that we shall be able to understand Truth only to the extent that we become non-aggressive, awaiting, passive like the Spirit of the Valley; and not if we are egoist like the mountains. We should be humble like the valley, silent like the womb and filled with awaiting. The indivisible, constant energy, resides in that supreme passivity and perfect inaction. Everything is born there-from and everything merges again into it.
Enough for today, rest tomorrow.