It is Your Being
The first question:
YOU HAVE SAID THAT INTELLECTUAL LEARNING AND KNOWLEDGE HAVE HELPED NO ONE AND THAT THE UPANISHAD SAYS THAT NOTHING IS TO BE DENIED. IF THE INTELLECT IS THERE AND WE ARE NOT TO DENY IT, WHAT IS THE BEST WAY IN WHICH TO USE IT?
The first thing to be understood about the intellect is this: that the intellect exists on denial. The very function of the intellect is to deny, to say no. The emphasis of the Upanishad on not to deny is basically to relieve you of your intellectual effort.
Intellect always says no. So the more one becomes intellectual, the more and more one becomes incapable of saying yes. Yes-saying means faith, no means doubt, and intellect depends on doubt.
If you doubt, intellect has a function. If you do not doubt, there is no function left for the intellect.
Intellect is denial. So when the Upanishad says, "Do not deny anything," it means that the intellect will have no function at all. Think of your own mind: whenever you say no, it starts working; whenever you say yes, yes becomes the end and there is no further journey.
This age is one of the most intellectual ones, and this intellectual milieu is created by thoroughgoing doubt about everything. The greater the intellect, the more skeptical it will be. It can function very keenly if you say no. If you say yes, intellect is annihilated; hence, the emphasis of all religions on faith - because in faith intellect cannot move. There is no basis for it to move. There is no further goal; yes becomes the end. If you can say yes to the whole existence, thinking will stop. Thinking has the quality of denial. The master says, "Do not deny." In the nondenial, intellect disappears.
And you ask me what to do about intellect. It will not be there. You will not have to do anything; you will not have to deny it. And you cannot deny intellect because denial is intellectual. If you deny intellect, the very denial gives more roots to your intellectual mind. You will become a victim. If you deny intellect, you will become a victim of a deeper intellectual effort. You cannot deny it. How can you deny it? - because denial starts thinking. You can find reasons why not to deny, but those reasons will be appeals to the intellect. You can find arguments why to deny, but those arguments will be intellectual.
Faith has no arguments for or against. So really, those who have given arguments for God's existence I call irreligious because arguments have nothing to do with religion. There have been many known thinkers all over the world, particularly in the West, who have tried to prove that God exists. I call them irreligious - because if you can prove God's existence, then the intellect becomes superior to God's existence. Then it is proved through the intellect, and whatsoever is proved through intellect can be disproved by the same intellect. So those who try to prove, really they are the persons who give challenge to others to disprove.
Atheists exist because there are argumentative theists. When you say, "Because of this God exists," then you are giving a challenge to someone, to someone's intellect, who can say, "This reasoning is false." And arguments can be given for and against, ad infinitum; they never reach to any conclusion.
Really religious persons have not argued about God: they have lived. They have lived in the way in which one should live if God is. You cannot see God, but you can see a divine person. You can see a person who is living God. That is the only proof. But that proof is not for the intellect. That proof is not intellectual at all. That proof is absolutely beyond intellect - it reaches directly to your heart; you feel it.
Whenever you see a Ramakrishna or a Ramana, whenever you see a person like Jesus, it is not the intellect which comes to conclude that this man is divine. You feel it first. Your heart starts vibrating in a new dimension; you feel a new perfume of being. But this is feeling; you cannot prove it.
Intellect can prove or disprove, but it can never give you faith. Even when it proves, it proves only itself; nothing else is proved. If you can prove the existence of God, you have NOT proved the existence of God; you have simply proved that you are a very intellectual being, that is all. You have proved that you have a very keen intellect, you have proved your own ego, nothing else. And intellect is the most subtle food for the ego. Because of it you feel that you know, you feel that you can prove, you feel that you can disprove, you feel to be the center. Then even God depends on you: if you prove him, then he is; if you say no, then he is no more. He is secondary. Remember, for intellect everything is secondary and intellect is primary. Everything else becomes number two; intellect remains number one.
Faith says that this supremacy of intellect should be thrown away. Only then can the total being assert itself. And then being is primary and intellect becomes secondary. Then existence is primary; then intellect is just a part. Intellect is dictatorial; faith is democratic because faith gives expression to your whole being. Intellect is only one part trying to be supreme.
When you do as the Upanishad says and you do not deny, then the intellect disappears. If you do not deny, you will not have the intellect there at all. The no is needed. That is the foothold. Without the no the intellect cannot stand. So the question, "What to do about intellect?" really doesn't arise.
Do not deny anything and there will be no intellect to be worried about.
The second question:
THE FIRST FEW DAYS OF ACTIVE MEDITATION TEND TO TIGHTEN MUSCLES, CAUSING PAIN EVERYWHERE. IS THERE ANY WAY TO GET OVER THAT?
Go on doing it! You will get over it - and the reasons are obvious. There are two reasons. First, it is a vigorous exercise and your body has to get attuned to it. So for three or four days you will feel that the whole body is aching. With any new exercise it will happen. But after four days you will get over it and your body will feel stronger than ever.
But this is not very basic. The basic thing goes deeper, and the basic thing is what modern psychologists have come to know. Your body is not simply physical. In your body, in your muscles, in the structure of your body, many other things have entered through suppressions. If you suppress anger, the poison goes into the body. It goes into the muscles, it goes into the blood. If you suppress anything, it is not only a mental thing, it is also physical - because you are not really divided. You are not body AND mind; you are bodymind - psychosomatic. You are both together. So whatsoever is done with your body reaches to the mind and whatsoever is done with the mind reaches to the body, as body and mind are two ends of the same entity.
For instance, if you get angry what happens to the body? Whenever you get angry certain poisons are released into the blood. Without those poisons you will not get mad enough to be angry. You have particular glands in the body, and those glands release certain chemicals. Now this is scientific, this is not just a philosophy. Your blood becomes poisoned.
That is why, when you are angry, you can do something which you cannot do ordinarily - because you are mad. You can push a big rock: you cannot do it ordinarily. You cannot even believe afterwards that you could have pushed this rock or thrown it or lifted it. When you are back to normal again, you will not be capable of lifting it again because you are not the same. Particular chemicals were circulating in the blood. You were in an emergency condition; your total energy was brought to be active.
But when an animal gets angry, he gets angry. He has no morality about it, no teaching about it. He simply gets angry and the anger is released. When you get angry, you get angry in a way similar to any animal. But then there is society, morality, etiquette, and thousands of things. You have to push the anger down. You have to show that you are not angry; you have to smile - a painted smile! You have to create a smile, and you push the anger down. What is happening to the body? The body was ready to fight - either to fight or to fly, to escape from the danger, either to face it or escape from it. The body was ready to DO something: anger is just a readiness to do something. The body was going to be violent, aggressive.
If you could be violent and aggressive, then the energy would be released. But you cannot be - it is not convenient, so you push it down. Then what will happen to all those muscles which were ready to be aggressive? They will become crippled. The energy pushes them to be aggressive, and you push them backwards not to be aggressive. There will be a conflict. In your muscles, in your blood, in your body tissues, there will be conflict. They are ready to express something and you are pushing them not to express. You are suppressing them. Then your body becomes crippled.
And this happens with every emotion. And this goes on day after day for years. Then your body becomes crippled all over. All the nerves become crippled. They are not flowing, they are not liquid, they are not alive. They have become dead, they have become poisoned. And they have all become entangled. They are not natural.
Look at any animal and see the grace of the body. What happens to the human body? Why is it not so graceful? Why? Every animal is so graceful: why is the human body not so graceful?
What has happened to it? You have done something with it: you have crushed it and the natural spontaneity of its flow has gone. It has become stagnant. In every part of your body there is poison.
In every muscle of your body there is suppressed anger, suppressed sexuality, suppressed greed - and everything - suppressed jealousy, hatred. Everything is suppressed there. Your body is really diseased.
So when you start meditating, all these poisons will be released. And wherever the body has become stagnant, it will have to melt, it will become liquid again. And this is a great effort. After forty years of living in a wrong way, then suddenly meditating, the whole body is in an upheaval. You will feel aching all over the body. But this aching is good, and you have to welcome it. Allow the body to become again a flow. Again it will become graceful and childlike; again you will gain the aliveness.
But before that aliveness comes to you the dead parts have to be straightened and this is going to be a little painful.
Psychologists say that we have created an armor around the body and that armor is the problem.
If you are allowed total expression when you get angry what will you do? When you get angry, you start crushing your teeth together; you want to do something with your nails and with your hands, because that's how your animal heritage will have it. You want to do something with your hands, to destroy something.
If you don't do anything your fingers will become crippled; they will lose the grace, the beauty. They will not be alive limbs. And the poison is there. So when you shake hands with someone, really there is no touch, no life, because your hands are dead.
You can feel this. Touch a small child's hand - a subtle difference is there. When the child really gives you his hand... if he is not giving, then it is alright - he will withdraw. He will not give you a dead hand, he will simply withdraw. But if he wants to give you his hand, then you will feel that his hand is as if it is melting into your hand. The warmth, the flow - as if the whole child has come to the hand. The very touch, and he expresses all the love that it is possible to express.
But the same child when grown up will shake hands as if a hand is just a dead instrument. He will not come in it, he will not flow through it. This has happened because there are blocks. Anger is blocked... really, before your hand becomes alive again to express love, it will have to pass through agony, it will have to pass through a deep expression of anger. If the anger is not released, that anger is blocking and love cannot come out of it.
Your whole body has become blocked, not only your hands. So you can embrace someone, you can take someone near your chest, but that is not synonymous with taking someone near your heart. These are two different things. You can take someone near your chest: this is a physical phenomenon. But if you have an armor around your heart, a blocking of emotions, then the person remains as distant as he ever was; no intimacy is possible. But if you REALLY take a person near, and there is no armor, no wall between you and the person, then the heart will melt into the other.
There will be a meeting, a communion.
Your body has to release many poisons. You have become toxic, and you will have pain - mm? - because those poisons have settled down. Now I am creating a chaos again. This meditation is to create chaos within you so that you can be rearranged - so that a new arrangement becomes possible. You must be des-troyed as you are, only then can the new be born. As you are, you have gone totally wrong. You have to be destroyed and only then can something new be created. There will be pain, but this pain is worthwhile.
So go on doing the meditation and allow the body to have pain. Allow the body not to resist; allow the body to move into this agony. This agony comes from your past but it will go. If you are ready it will go. And when it goes, then for the first time you will have a BODY. Right now you have only an imprisonment, a capsule, dead. You are encapsulated; you do not have an agile, alive body. Even animals have more beautiful, more alive bodies than you.
By the way, that is why we have become so much obsessed with clothes - because the body is not worth showing. We have become so much obsessed with clothes! Whenever you stand naked you will see what you have done to your body. Clothes go on hiding your body from you.
This has been my experience through so many meditation camps: if some people become naked in the camps, really only these people are the ones who have beautiful bodies; thus, they are not afraid. Those who have ugly bodies come and they complain, and they say, "This is not good, people going nude!" Their fear is natural. They are not really afraid of others going nude, they are afraid of themselves; they cannot face their own bodies.
This disease is a vicious circle, because if you do not have a live body you want to hide it, and when you hide it, it becomes more and more dead - because then there is no need to be alert about its being alive.
Through centuries of clothing we have lost touch with our own bodies. If your head is cut off and you encounter your own body without a head, I am sure you will not be able to recognize that this is your body - or will you be able to recognize it? You will not be able to recognize it because you are not even acquainted with your own body. You do not have any feeling about it; you are simply living in it without caring about it.
We have done much violence to our bodies. So in this chaotic meditation I am forcing your bodies to be alive again. Many blocks will be broken; many settled things will become unsettled again; many systems will become liquid again. There will be pain, but welcome it. It is a blessing and you will come over it. Continue! There is no need to think what to do. You simply continue the meditation. I have seen hundreds and hundreds of people passing through the same process. Within a few days the pain is gone. And when the pain is gone, you will have a subtle joy around your body.
You cannot have it right now because the pain is there. You may know it or you may not know it but the pain is there all over your body. You have simply become unconscious about it because it has always been with you. Whatsoever is always there, you become unconscious about. Through meditation you will become conscious and then the mind will say, "Don't do this; the whole body is aching." Do not listen to the mind. Simply go on doing it.
Within a certain period the pain will be thrown out. And when the pain is thrown out, when your body has again become receptive and there is no block, no poisons around it, you will always have a subtle feeling of joy wrapped around you. Whatsoever you are doing or not doing, you will always feel a subtle vibration of joy around your body.
Really, joy only means that your body is in a symphony, nothing else - that your body is in a musical rhythm, nothing else. Joy is not pleasure; pleasure has to be derived from something else. Joy is just to be yourself - alive, fully vibrant, vital. A feeling of a subtle music around your body and within your body, a symphony - that is joy. You can be joyful when your body is flowing, when it is a riverlike flow.
It will come but you will have to pass through suffering, through pain. That is part of your destiny because you have created it. But it goes. If you do not stop in the middle, it goes. If you stop in the middle, then the old settlement will be there again. Within four or five days you will feel okay - just the old, as you have always been. Be aware of that okayness.
The third question:
WILL YOU PLEASE INDICATE SOMETHING ABOUT THE FIFTH STAGE IN ACTIVE MEDITATION.
Nothing can be said about it; that is why I never talk about it. The fourth is the last - the fifth will happen but nothing can be said about it. There is no need either. The fifth is not a state, it is your being. The first four are states, steps, but the fifth is not a state, it is not a step. It is your own being, it is your nature. But nothing can be said about it. If you come to the fourth the fifth will happen to you, that much is certain. If you can come to a total silence in the fourth, then the fifth will happen.
It is a growth of your silence.
But nothing can be said about it - or whatsoever can be said will be misunderstood. For example, if I say it is absolute bliss - and it has been said that it is absolute bliss - you will misunderstand it because you do not know what bliss is. You know certain pleasures and you think that bliss must be something like pleasure. It is not! You can think only in terms of pleasure because that is what you are acquainted with. You can think it is infinite pleasure; it is not. It is not pleasure at all.
Or you can think negatively that there will be no pain, no suffering - as Buddha has said. Buddha said: In that ultimate state of being there will be no suffering. And when people used to ask to him, "This is not enough. Tell us something more. You are saying what will not be there. Please tell us something about what will be there. You are saying that there will be no suffering but what will be there?" Buddha refused to answer. He said, "I will not say anything. This much I can say: there will be no suffering."
But even that will be misunderstood - because you are left nowhere, hanging. If it is said that it will be pleasure-like, then it is wrong. If it is said that there will be no pain, it is better than the first, but still not exactly right because you may carry the impression that it is going to be of negativity when it is not. Buddha was misunderstood in this country. He was thought to be a nihilist, a negativist, who was saying that in nirvana there will be no suffering, that is all. But no bliss, SATCHITANANDA - no existence, no consciousness - simply no-suffering?
But whatsoever is said will be misunderstood because we understand only that which we know. You know pleasure, you know pain, but in the fifth there will be neither. The duality will cease: there will be no pleasure, there will be no pain. Now it becomes inconceivable. What will it be like? If there is no pain and no pleasure, what will it be like? It becomes inconceivable; you cannot imagine it.
Bertrand Russell has said somewhere that if it is really so, that nirvana or the ultimate is beyond pain and pleasure, then it must be like a deep slumber, a deep sleep. That seems logical. If there is no pain and no pleasure, how can you be conscious? - because consciousness needs something to be conscious about. If there is nothing - no pain, no pleasure - then there is no challenge for consciousness to be there, so you will fall into a deep coma.
Everything will be misunderstood; that is why I never talk about it. I simply lead you to the door of the temple and leave you to enter and know. I leave you at the door of the temple. These four steps help you to reach the door. Then you can enter. You are standing right in front of the door and the door is open. If the temple magnetizes you, calls you, challenges you, you will enter. No one has returned back from the fifth step. No one can return because it is the ultimate ecstasy. Your whole being simply gravitates toward it.
The fifth is left out of discussion. It is your own being; it is not a state. The first four are states.
In the first you are working with your vital energy, with your PRANA - with breathing. Breathing is life. In the first step, you are working with your life. You are destroying the pattern of your breathing.
Through chaotic breathing, you are destroying the settled pattern. And if you can destroy the pattern of breathing, then all the patterns in all your bodies will be loosened - because breathing is the most subtle thing to work with.
You may not have observed but whenever your mind changes, your breathing changes. Even a subtle change in mood and your breathing immediately changes. Or, to be more correct, even before the mood changes, the breathing has already changed. When you are happy you breathe differently; when you are angry you breathe differently; when you are tense you breathe differently; when you are sad you breathe differently; when you are relaxed you breathe differently. The rhythm always goes on changing.
Observe it. Observe the moods of your breathing. You are not breathing the same way the whole day. In the morning you breathe differently, in the evening differently. Just by knowing about your breath, everything can be said about your mind, what is happening to your mind.
Sooner or later, when medical science and psychology can penetrate into this phenomenon of breathing more deeply, they will make a graph of it. Your breathing graph will show through what types of moods you have been passing throughout the day. When you are asleep you breathe differently; when you are alert you breathe differently, when you are sleepy you breathe differently.
Breathing can be changed easily, and if you change the breathing you change the mind.
You can work from both ways. There are many schools of yoga. Some schools, particularly the schools of raja yoga, start with the mind. They say first change the mind, then the breathing will change by itself. And there are other schools, particularly of hatha yoga, which say change the breathing and the mind will follow. Both are right because both are related.
Do one thing: while you are feeling relaxed, someday just lying in your armchair, and the whole world seems to be happy and at ease and you feel at home, note your breathing. Just observe the rhythm: how are you inhaling and how are you exhaling, what is the proportion of time, how much gap is there between inhalation and exhalation? Note everything; then do one thing more.
Sometime, when you feel angry, breathe the way you were breathing when you were relaxed. It will be impossible to be angry. Then you cannot be angry. You CANNOT be angry! It will be impossible to be angry because anger needs a different type of breathing.
When you are in love, sitting with your friend or with your wife or with your beloved, note down how you are breathing. Then try to breathe that way anywhere and suddenly you will feel love bubbling up. Note it down. While just lying on the bed with your beloved, note down how you are breathing.
Then sit beside a tree and breathe the same way. Suddenly you will feel that the tree has become the beloved because now the love is flowing.
When unaware of this fact you unnecessarily create much misery for yourself. You go on breathing wrongly in wrong places and you create much riddle, much puzzle and confusion.
In the first step, we work with breathing to create a chaos, because unless a chaos is there YOU cannot be born. The first step is to break all the old patterns of breathing.
In the second step, we are working with emotions to bring out all the suppressed emotions. If you have really taken deep, chaotic breaths, the suppressed emotions will come out easily. They will start coming out by themselves, and you will not need to do anything. The second step will follow automatically if the first has been done rightly. If you have not been resistant in the first, the second will follow easily. In the second we are working with the emotions to bring them out, to act them out, to throw them out.
When you are angry with someone and you throw your anger on him, you are creating a chain reaction. Now he too will be angry and this may continue for lives and you will go on being enemies.
You can continue this for centuries. It is not going to end. Where will it end? There is only one possibility. You can end it only in meditation, nowhere else, because in meditation you are not angry with someone: you are simply angry.
Remember, this difference is basic. You are not angry with someone; you are simply angry, and the anger is released into the cosmos. You are not hateful toward anyone. If hate comes, you are simply hateful and the hate is thrown out. In meditation, emotions are not addressed; they are unaddressed. They move into the cosmos, and the cosmos purifies everything.
Remember, it is just like a dirty river falling into the ocean: the ocean will purify it. Whenever your anger, your hate, your sexuality, moves into the cosmos, into the ocean, it purifies it. Whenever a dirty river falls into another river, then the other river also becomes dirty. When you are angry with someone, you are throwing your dirt at him. Then he will also throw his at you and this will become a mutual dirtying process.
In meditation you are throwing yourself into the cosmos to be purified. All the energy that you throw is purified in the cosmos. The cosmos is so vast and so great an ocean, you cannot make it dirty. In meditation we are not related with persons. In meditation we are related directly to the cosmos.
In the second step, we are throwing emotions out. It is a catharsis. In the third we are using a mantra: Hoo. It is a Sufi sound just like the Hindu sound Aum but more useful for the modern man than Aum can be. Aum is a very delicate sound. When you say Aum, it never goes below the heart.
It is not very violent; it is very nonviolent. One of the most nonviolent sounds is Aum.
It was invented for a different type of people from you - for those who were very loving and nonviolent, for those who were simply natural, simple; for those who lived in nature, in villages; for those who were not educated, uneducated; for those who were simply human, not very much cultivated and conditioned. They were animal-like - pure, simple, innocent. The Aum was invented for them. Even this much was enough to change them. It is a very delicate hammer, Aum. It hits the heart very delicately. But it was enough for them because they had hearts. For you it will not do.
You need a very violent hammer.
Sufis invented this second sound, Hoo. This is part of Allah-Hoo. Sufis repeat, "Allah! Allah!" and when you repeat it continuously, it becomes "Allah-Hoo! Allah-Hoo! Allah-Hoo! Allah-Hoo!" Then the beginning part is dropped, the Allah is dropped, and only Hoo is retained. Then it becomes, "Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!" When you say Hoo it goes directly to the sex center. It penetrates directly to the sex center; it hits the sex center.
This age is so sexual that you need a hammering on the sex energy. The heart is no more there. If you are going to try Aum, you are knocking at a door which is vacant. No one lives there now. The center of gravity has shifted down to the sex center. Your center is not the heart. The heart can be the center when you are centered in love but now you are centered in sex, not in love.
Psychologists say that love is nothing but a foreplay to sex. They are right - because they have no other specimen to study. They study you and then they come to conclude that love is nothing but a foreplay - just creating a situation in which sex can happen, nothing else. So when sex has happened, love disappears. It is just like when you feel hungry you gravitate toward food and look at food with enchanted eyes. But when your hunger is satiated, you look away from the food. All the enchantment is lost.
So when you love your wife or your husband, the love is just an etiquette to enter into sex - because it will be too rude to start.... So it just plays like a lubricating agent. And when sex is satisfied, the husband moves to his own side of the bed and goes to sleep. He is finished; all the enchantment is gone. It will come again only when he feels a type of hunger. Psychologists say that love is nothing but a foreplay - just a mannerism. And they are right because they do not know any other type of man.
Aum was invented, discovered, for a different type: for those who were in love. Not that they never had sex: they had it; otherwise you would not have been here. They were having sex but the basic difference of quality is this: they were centered in love and their sex was but an expression of it, nothing else. Love was basic and sex was just one of the many expressions of it - the deepest expression, but expression of love. They loved first and then sex happened. It was not cerebral, it was not planned.
If you want to use the contemporary jargon, then I can say that sex was nothing but an afterplay.
The psychologists say that love is nothing but a foreplay, but I say that then sex was nothing but an afterplay - just to finish the game. It was the peak but it was not the center. Love was the center.
Then the heart functioned in a different way, vibrated in a different way. Then Aum was enough to work with. Aum will help a person who is very loving and who has a heart; otherwise, it will not help him.
Hoo is the sound for this age. It will hit you directly at the sex center. If you really hit loudly with "Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!" you will feel a subtle hammering inside. And sex energy can move in two ways: it can move outward and it can move inward.
When you feel attracted to a woman or to a man, the energy has started moving outward. Really, a woman or a man - a person of the opposite sex - is hitting you from without. And this is literally true.
When you feel that some woman is attracting you, if you can become alert and observing you will feel a subtle hit at your sex center. The feminine energy, or the masculine energy hits you on that center. The same hit will be felt when you shout Hoo, but from within. And if you go on hammering the sex center from within, an opening is created and the energy begins to flow inward - upward.
Once you know how to make this energy flow upward and withinward, you will reach to higher orgasms, to higher peaks of ecstasy, than you can ever reach with any woman or any man. An inner meeting will have started.
The first step is to change your prana, your breathing pattern. The second stage is to throw your emotions, the suppressed part of your mind - a catharsis. And the third is to hit your life energy to move upward. And when the energy starts moving upward, then you are not to do anything, you are simply to lie down as if dead.
There is to be no diversion there. The energy simply moves upward and you are not to do anything.
That is why I go on emphasizing not to move. After the third step when I say "Stop!" stop completely.
Do not do anything at all because anything can become a diversion and you miss the point. Anything, just a cough or a sneeze, and you may miss the whole thing because the mind has become diverted.
Then the flow will stop immediately because your attention has moved.
Do not do anything. You are not going to die! Even if the sneeze is coming and you do not sneeze for ten minutes, you will not die. If you feel like coughing, if you feel an irritation in the throat and you do not do anything, you are not going to die. Do not be afraid: no one has ever died. Remain DEAD as far as the body is concerned so that the energy can move in one flow.
When the energy moves upward you become more and more silent. Silence is the by-product of energy moving upward and tension is the by-product of energy moving downward. You will be more and more in anxiety when energy moves down; you will be more and more silent, quiet, calm and cool as energy moves upward and inward. And these words downward and outward are synonymous, and inward and upward are synonymous. And when you have become silent, that energy is moving like a flood, it is passing through all the chakras, all the centers. And when it passes through all the chakras, it cleanses them, it purifies them, it makes them dynamic, alive, and the flood goes upward, upward to the last chakra.
Sex is the first chakra, the first center, the lowest - and we exist at the lowest. That is why we know life only at its minimum. When the energy flows upward and reaches to the last chakra, to the SAHASRAR, energy is at its maximum, life is at its maximum. Then you feel as if the whole cosmos has become silent: not even a single sound is there. Everything becomes absolutely silent when the energy comes to the last chakra.
You know the first chakra; it will be easy to understand through that. When the energy comes to the sex center, you become absolutely tense. The whole body is feverish, your every cell is in a fever.
Your temperature goes high, your blood pressure goes high, your breathing becomes mad. Your whole body is in a temporary delirium - at the lowest.
Quite the opposite is the case at the last chakra. Your whole body becomes so cool, so silent, as if it has disappeared. You cannot feel it. You have become bodiless. And when you are silent the whole existence is silent because the existence is nothing but a mirror: it reflects you. In thousands and thousands of mirrors, it reflects you. When you are silent the whole existence has become silent.
This is the fourth step and I will not say anything about the fifth. This is the door - absolute silence.
Then you can enter the temple and you can know it but I cannot say it. And if you come to know it, you will also not be able to say anything about it. It is inexpressible.
The last question:
IN THE MORNING AND AFTERNOON MEDITATIONS I START OFF WITH VIGOROUS MOVEMENTS, BUT SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE - ESPECIALLY AS THE MUSIC AND THE SURROUNDING SCREAMING INCREASE - A STRANGE SILENCE ENVELOPS ME AND THE MOVEMENTS GRADUALLY DIE DOWN. THIS SILENCE DEEPENS AS THE TEMPO OF THE MUSIC MOUNTS AND I FEEL AS IF I AM A CENTER OF SILENCE IN THE SURROUNDING TEMPEST. IT FEELS WELCOME. IS THIS A REACTION AND HENCE TO BE DISCOURAGED?
SHOULD I WILLFULLY CONTINUE THE VIGOROUS MOVEMENT AND REMAIN SILENT ONLY AT THE END? EVEN AT THE END, WHEN WE ARE TO CELEBRATE, I ENJOY REMAINING SILENT - AND THE MORE THE MUSIC AND SCREAMING, THE DEEPER THE SILENCE TENDS TO BE.
This is the silence I was talking about just now. When the energy floods upward, this silence will happen to you. Do not discourage it. This is what we are endeavoring for. Welcome it! This is the guest for which we are waiting. Start vigorously. But if you feel that the movement and the noise are dying down by themselves and a deeper silence is descending upon you, and the storm all around you and the noise and the screaming and the maddening milieu do not affect your silence - rather, they deepen it - then you can be certain that this is real and you are not deceiving yourself. Then remain silent. And at the end this will happen. If you have become really silent, silence will be your celebration.
But it may be different with different individuals; it depends. It depends on the type of individual.
Someone would like to express his joy by dancing, someone by singing, or some will simply weep:
tears will flow down not in agony, but in bliss. Someone else may remain just silent: this is his celebration.
So do not get worried about how to celebrate. The way it happens to you is your celebration. And if this type of silence comes to you, then welcome it, enjoy it. Cooperate with it so that it deepens more and more.
Now get ready for the meditation.