The first question:
Tao, that's why I have given you the name Tao: there is a message for you in it. Tao means spontaneity, nature. Tao is not a practice, it is not effort, it is not cultivation. It is patience, it is trust, it is waiting for things to happen, even if one has to wait for eternity.
Tao needs no work on your part. All that you can do will be an undoing, because the moment the doer comes, nature disappears. The moment the doer takes hold of you, you are possessed by the idea of the ego. And then there is a wall between you and Tao - or call it God.
The doer has to dissolve, and you cannot do anything to dissolve it. How can you do anything to dissolve the doer? Whatsoever you do will go on feeding it. Just a simple understanding that all is taken care of... Trees are growing - not that they are making any effort to grow; birds are singing - not that they go to some music school; rivers are flowing - nobody has taught them how to reach to the ocean, they don't carry any map, they don't know any path, they don't have any scriptures: still, every river reaches to the ocean.
Just look around! This immense universe is functioning so perfectly well that nothing can be added to it. It needs no improvement. Seeing this, one relaxes. If stars can go on dancing and flowers can go on blooming and birds can go on singing, why not you? You also belong to this universe. You are part of it. In fact, you are the most valuable part of it - the greatest flowering is going to happen in you, the flowering of consciousness, the Golden Flower of being. You are not neglected, you are taken care of.
To understand life is to relax.
Yes, only understanding is needed, not cultivation, not practicing. You don't need to become virtuous, religious. The people who try to become virtuous and religious become simply egoistic and nothing more.
Drop this hankering, Tao, to be something other than you are. This is the moment! Just be in it! Be UTTERLY one with the whole. And it need not be practiced because it is already the case. All that is needed is a little bit of understanding, a vision, and then all starts happening of its own accord.
That's why I have given you the name Tao. The message is that you are not to create a character around you, that you are not to manufacture a certain personality in you, that you are not to think of future, of NIRVANA, of enlightenment, of God. God is not in the future, neither is God in the past.
God is herenow, always herenow. God is THIS very condition.
People always think of God as the source, the original cause. They miss the point. God is not the original cause somewhere back, far, far away. God is not the original cause. Or, there are people who think of God as the ultimate goal, again far, far away in the future. Either in the past or in the future - and that's how you go on missing. And God knows only one tense, and that is present. The now is another name for God. He is THIS very condition! THIS MOMENT, within and without, God is.
And God is not something sacred, holy, far away again in heaven. God is all the conditions - and when I say all, I mean all: the sacred/the profane, the body/the soul, matter/consciousness. The lowest of the low is God. and the holiest of the holy is God, and there is not any difference between the two. Judas is as much God as Jesus, because there cannot be anything else. These are just roles, just acts played on the stage in a drama.
To understand it is to relax. Then there is nowhere to go, then there is nothing to do. Then what is left is celebration, then what is left is to live joyously. Rejoice moment-to-moment, and don't divide things. Don't say "I am going to the temple"; don't say that this is something sacred, holy. Drinking tea is as sacred as doing yoga. Sleeping silently, relaxed, is as sacred as prayer. Looking at a tree, talking to a friend, walking early in the morning, working in the factory or in the office, is as holy as anything else. This is the understanding that is needed for Tao to happen.
Tao is already happening; just your misunderstanding... Tao is already showering - in the sunrays, on the green trees. But you just think, "This is just the sun and they are just the trees - where is God? These are just people - where is God?" You want God to be something specific, and that's why you miss God is not something special, not something specific. God is all these conditions, God is this totality. This moment - my talking to you, your listening to me, this communion, this silence, this bridging - yes, this is God, this is Tao.
So forget all about achieving. Don't become an achiever. My sannyasins have to drop all kinds of ambitions - material. worldly and spiritual - all. To be ambitious is to be stupid. That's why I say politicians are stupid, because they are the most ambitious people in the world. The more ambitious you are the more stupid you will be.
Ambition makes you stupid. Why? - because intelligence is of the herenow and ambition is of the future. Intelligence blooms THIS moment, and ambition always thinks of faraway lands. Ambition is of the tomorrow, and because of ambition you go on missing the intelligence that is just now showering, welling up within you.
I have heard...
It was decided to send a monkey and a politician to the moon. Their instructions on what to do after landing were sealed into pockets in their suits. As soon as they had touched down on the lunar landscape, the monkey opened his set of instructions.
Check all fuel tanks.
Check computer and re-program the same.
Take samples of rock, sand and air.
Check oxygen levels and density.
Check landing craft for damage.
Check stabilizers and anti-gravity devices.
Then send radio message down to earth reporting position.
Then the politician opened his sealed instructions. It said in big letters:
Feed the monkey!!!
Ambition makes a person REALLY stupid - even a monkey is more intelligent. Don't be ambitious!
And remember, mind is very cunning: you drop ambition in one direction and the mind starts creating the same ambitious trap in another direction. Running after money, one day you understand that it is futile - even if you attain it, death will take it away. You start dropping that ambition. But then you start thinking "How to have more virtue?" It is the SAME game - "How to have more money"; now you say "How to have more virtue, more PUNYA."
Do you know, the name of this town, Poona, comes from the Sanskrit root PUNYA? PUNYA means virtue. Do you see any virtuous people in Poona?
In fact, the virtuous person cannot be religious, because he has allowed ambition to enter from the back door. Again he has started accumulating, acquiring. Somebody is on a powertrip in the world, and then one day, seeing the futility of it... And one day everybody comes to see the futility of it; even the mediocre mind comes to see the futility of it. It is so futile! If you fail you fail, if you succeed you fail - it is so futile!
If you fail, certainly you fail, and there is frustration. If YOU SUCceed, then too deep down you fail, because you see you have succeeded and nothing has happened through your success. You remain the same kind of empty, hollow, ugly beggar. Nothing has happened. All the money has accumulated around you, you are sitting on the throne of a president, and deep down the same beggar, the same ugly face, the same monster, the same horrible mind. So failing you fail, succeeding you fail - this is the futility.
Then the mind starts thinking of having something in paradise, but that is again the same game, played with different names, in different times, in different spaces - but the same mind projecting.
My teaching to you is: live herenow! Drop ALL kinds of ambitions. This is sannyas: drop ALL kinds of ambitions, and see the miracle happening. Once you drop all ambitions you will have so much energy left that there will be no way other than to celebrate. You will have so much energy in you - all the energy that is involved in ambitions is released because ambitions have been dropped - and that energy becomes an oceanic experience within your soul. That is paradise, that is God.
God is not a goal, but an experience of a non-ambitious mind. Tao has not to be achieved! The achievers go on missing it. The non-achievers suddenly realize that they have always lived in paradise, but because of their ambitions they were not able to see it.
So Tao, just try to understand what I am sharing with you. I am sharing with you this moment, this space. I am not giving you any goals. I am not driving you crazy for some achievement in the future.
I am not inspiring you to run and chase some shadows. I am simply imparting to you what has happened to me. I want it to be shared with you. Dropping all ambition, I have arrived.
Drop all ambitions and just be, and see the beauty and the benediction of existence. It is incredible, it is simply far-out! You have never dreamt about it, how beautiful it is. You COULD NOT have dreamt about it, it surpasses all your imaginations and fantasies. Its beauty is unbelievable, and the grace that is showering on you is just showering for no reason at all. It is VERY unreasonable! God does not give you because you are worthy. God gives you because He has so much, He cannot contain it!
Try to see my vision; it is totally different from your so-called religions. Your so-called religions are very miserly and very economical. Your so-called religions believe in the laws of economics: you do this and God will do this to you; be worthy, and He will make you happy; do something wrong, and you go to hell - a very simple mathematics, as if your God is nothing but a magistrate who goes on looking into the books of laws and goes on sending people to hell or heaven.
God does not believe in your economics; God believes in love. God is love, not economics. He does not give you because you are worthy, He gives because He has. Remember the famous Jesus parable? - and Jesus has told the most beautiful parables ever told in the world. Nobody has ever been able to surpass him.
The parable is: A man, a very rich man, has a great garden. The grapes are ripe. He sends his manager to the marketplace to bring a few laborers. Those grapes have to be collected, otherwise they will start falling, they will start rotting. A few laborers come and they start working. By the afternoon it is realized that these people are not enough, so more are called. When the sun is almost setting it is realized that even this will not do, so more laborers are called. And then the sun sets and the darkness descends and they all gather, and the owner of the garden gives everybody the same amount of money - to those who had come in the morning and to those who had come in the afternoon, and even to those who had just come and had only worked not more than half an hour. Naturally, the people who had come in the morning became annoyed, irritated, angry. They said, "What is this? This is unfair!
We worked the whole day and we get the same amount of money for our work. And these people have just come, they have not even worked at all - they are also getting the same amount of money?
This is unfair!"
And the master started laughing and he said, "Just think of one thing: is whatsoever you have got not enough for your labor?"
They said, "It is enough. It is in fact double what we ordinarily get from somebody else."
The master said, "Then why are you worried about others? This is my money. You have got double what you would have got anywhere else, but you are not happy. You are being miserable because I have given to others. This is my money and I have so much to give. My treasures are full, I am burdened. I give to these laborers not because they have worked, but because I have so much that I don't know what to do with it. Why are you angry?"
Jesus tells this parable in reference to God. And he says, "When you are facing God He will give you not because you have done this or you have done that - not because of your worth - but because He has so much. He is burdened, He is burdened like a cloud full of rain. It has to rain not because the earth is worthy. Have you not watched the clouds come? - and they rain on all kinds of soil. They rain on stones, rocks, they rain on fertile soil; they rain also on wastelands where nothing grows and nothing will ever grow.
Exactly like that, when a flower opens up, its fragrance is released to the winds, in all the directions.
To whomsoever passes by the road, it is available; it makes no distinction between the worthy and the unworthy. That's what I want to relate to you.
Somebody else has asked one question: "Osho, I have listened this whole month. You have not even mentioned once the law of karma."
I cannot mention it because it is part of economics. It is part of human cunningness and cleverness.
It has nothing to do with real religion.
The law of karma says you will get only that which you earn. And I want to say to you: you don't get according to your worth, you get according to God's abundance - sinners and saints, all; good and bad, all. The only thing that is needed is... are you ready to receive it? I am not talking about worthiness. I am simply saying: are you open to receiving it? Are you ready, available, vulnerable, so when it showers on you you can let it soak in?
Who is available? One who lives in the present, moment-to-moment, is available to God. And this I am saying to you because this has been MY experience. I am not talking philosophy to you, but simply stating what I have experienced. God gives out of His abundance. But you are not available, you are in the past or in the future. The future is not yet, the past is no more. You move in shadows.
Come to the real! And the real is always herenow. God knows only one time and that is now and only one space, that is here.
The second question:
Kavido, if you focus, you will remain. If you choose, the chooser will be there. If you will, the ego cannot disappear. If you really want to get lost in any kind of activity you have to be a non-chooser, you have to drop your will.
Your will simply means you don't trust God's will yet. Your will simply means you are still fighting, struggling, with God. Your will simply means you are trying to push the river, you are not ready to go with the river. Your will simply means you are trying to conquer something; you are violent, you are aggressive.
To be lost in any activity - it may be cleaning the floor or dancing or painting or loving; it may be anything - to be lost in it, you have to drop your will. You have to simply be like a dead leaf in the wind, so wherever the wind blows the dead leaf moves with it; to the south, it says yes, to the north, it says yes. If the wind leaves it on the ground, it says yes. It knows only yes, it knows no no. It is a yes-saying. And that is the moment of benediction, of bliss. Then you will never be frustrated because there is nobody to be frustrated. Frustration comes out of expectations. Out of will is your defeat.
And see people's faces: they are all looking defeated, sooner or later. Except for small children, you will find everybody defeated. And small children are still laughing and smiling because they don't know what is going to happen. Soon their laughter will disappear, soon their smiles will be gone, soon they will become dry, desert-like, just as everybody else has become. Look at the old people - how they are living. Disillusioned they are. They had great dreams, and all dreams have failed. All gods have failed. They are utterly frustrated, root and all. Now they have only one climate around them - that of frustration.
That is why old people are so chronically irritated: life has been cheating them. With what great fantasies they had started the journey, with what beautiful dreams! And slowly, slowly all dreams have turned into dust, and they have only one taste in their mouths - that of dust and nothing else.
How can they avoid not being irritated? They are annoyed - not towards somebody in particular; they are simply in rage! They lived in vain. Seventy years, eighty years have passed, and they passed through all kinds of turmoil. They suffered all kinds of anxieties and nightmares, and for what? - "a tale told by an idiot, full of fury and noise, signifying nothing"?
And when a man comes to see that this whole affair of life has been a kind of idiocy, he really feels frustrated: "What kind of joke is this?" God does not look to be benevolent, seems to be a kind of sadist, torturing people, giving them great ideas and then frustrating them continuously. As you grow up you grow deeper and deeper into frustration. Soon your life is nothing but a tragedy.
This happens because of your dreams, expectations, ambitions, your will. You wanted to do something in the world and you could not, hence the impotence.
My teaching is: please, don't try to do anything in the world. Let things happen and you will never be frustrated, and your life will remain fresh, as fresh as ever. And you will be able to smile even at the very last moment; you will die smiling. You will be a conqueror without any effort to conquer, because all efforts to conquer lead to defeat. The real conquerors are those who never try to conquer. This is the paradox to be understood: the real gainers are those who had never thought of gaining anything, who simply lived moment-to-moment, enjoyed the morning and the afternoon and the evening.
When the great Zen Master, Joshu, was asked, "What is your fundamental teaching?" he said, "When it is hot it is hot, and when it is cold it is cold."
The man who was asking was a great philosopher. He said, "Are you kidding me? This is your philosophy - 'When it is hot it is hot, when it is cold it is cold'? What kind of philosophy is this?"
Joshu said, "This is the whole of what I have been teaching to my disciples. Just live in the moment, whatsoever it is - if it is hot it is hot. Don't desire the opposite."
That is what will is - it is hot and you want it to be cool, it is cool and you want it to be hot. That is will. Will means desiring something which is not. Desiring against reality is will. When young be young, when old be old.
Another Zen Master was asked, "How do you live? What is the secret of your constant joy?" He said, "Not much of a secret, a simple phenomenon: when I feel hungry I eat and when I feel tired I sleep."
This is living will-lessly - when hungry one eats, when tired one sleeps. This is living moment-to- moment with no plan, with no program, with no desire to impose your will upon existence. The very effort to impose your will on existence is VIOLENT. The really non-violent person is one who does not impose his will upon existence. He takes things as they come and he is always surprised that whatsoever comes brings a treasure with it.
But you are constantly desiring something else, so whatsoever comes never fulfills you. And what you desire is not going to come because this whole, this immense whole has no obligation to fulfill your desires. You can be with it, you can be against it. If you are against it you will live in hell, if you are with it you will live in heaven. That's my definition of heaven and hell: to be with the whole is heaven, to be against the whole is hell.
Kavido, you ask, "You said meditation is 'non-doing'."
Yes. I am not saying that a meditator will become lazy, indolent. No! He will do a thousand and one things but he will not be the doer of it; that is to be remembered.
It happened: a Zen Master was chopping wood. A man had come to enquire. He had heard the name of the Zen Master. It had been a long journey to come to the mountains where the Master lived with his disciples. He asked this woodcutter - because he could not think that the Master would be chopping wood - he asked this woodcutter, "I have heard about a great Zen Master who is enlightened. Where is he?" And the Master said, "Look at me! I am that!"
The seeker thought this man to be mad. Still, to be polite with him - and it is better to be polite with a madman.... And he had a great axe in his hand, and who knows? And he looked so ferocious....
And he said, "I am that! What do you want?"
He said, "So you are that great Master. What did you do before your enlightenment?"
He said, "I used to chop wood and carry water from the well." "And now what do you do?"
He said, "I chop wood and carry water from the well."
And the man said, "Then what is the difference? Then what is the point of your enlightenment if you still chop wood and carry the water from the well?"
And the Master laughed... and the mountains must have laughed with him, and the trees. It is said that around that monastery, still, after thousands of years, sometimes that laughter is heard. He laughed and said, "You fool! Before enlightenment I used to chop wood, I used to carry water. Now water is carried, wood is chopped. I am not the doer; that is the difference."
I am not saying that a meditator has to become lazy. I am not saying that a meditator has to become dull and dead. In fact the meditator will have more energy than the non-meditator can ever have, and the energy will have its own dance. It will chop wood, it will carry water from the well.
A meditator is bound to become very creative. Only a meditator can be creative, because all the energies converge on the moment. He has so much that it starts overflowing. His cup is small and his energy is so much that it starts overflowing. But he is a non-doer; his action has no will in it. He dances because he finds dance happening, he loves because he finds love happening.
Observe the fact: can you will love? If you are ordered "Love this woman!" or "Love this man!" can you will it? You can only go through empty gestures of loving. You may hug the woman, you may kiss the woman, but can you love? It is impossible to will love; there is no way. You can be forced, you can be ordered: "See the beauty of the roseflower!" and if somebody is standing behind you with a gun and he says, "Look at the beauty of the flower, otherwise you will be killed," you will look and you will say, "Yes, so beautiful, so tremendously beautiful."
It happened... an ancient Sufi story...
Tamburlaine conquered the town of Mulla Nasruddin. He had heard many stories about Mulla, many mysterious stories of his occult powers, esoteric powers, and all that.
The first thing he did was, he asked Mulla to come to the court. He told Mulla, "I have heard many stories of your occult power, esoteric experiences. Are they true? And don't try to lie to me. And you know that I am a dangerous man. If you lie your head will be cut off immediately." And he took his sword out of the sheath - a naked sword in the hands of Tamburlaine, who used to cut people as if there was no life in them. And he used to enjoy cutting people.
Mulla looked down and said, "See, I can see hell there, deep down in the earth. And devils are torturing people and great fire is burning." And then he looked up and he said, "Look, I can see heaven, God sitting on a great golden throne and angels dancing and singing and praising Him."
Tamburlaine said, "How do you manage to do these miracles? How can you see? I don't see anything! What is your secret?" Mulla said, "No secret; it is just fear. I don't see anything either. You put your sword back into the sheath and then all these visions will disappear. It is just fear, nothing else."
You go on living a life of fear, desire, ambition, greed. And out of your fear you create heaven and hell, and out of your greed you create heaven and hell. Out of your ambition you create heaven and hell, but these are all your creations. Out of your greed you create great philosophies. Your God is nothing but your fear personified, and your prayers are nothing but your tremblings. You are afraid.
What I am saying to you is: no other prayer is needed, no hell and heaven are needed; all is available right this very moment. You just drop all this nonsense of willing. Let God will through you, let God LIVE through you. And it is not that you will become lazy; you will become very, very creative. Great poetry will be born out of you and great music will arise in your being. But one thing is certain: you will not look at it as if it is your creation, you will know it is God's. He has spoken through you, He has painted through you, He has loved through you.
You cannot will love. You can be ordered to love, and that is what is happening: millions of couples in the world have been ordered to love, because "She is your wife - love her!" and "He is your husband - love him!" And now what can you do? - because the police are there and the court is there and the government is there, and if you don't love you will be in trouble. Out of fear you try to manage - you pretend. And naturally, pretensions cannot make you happy.
And the same way, you go to the church and to the temple and to the mosque to pray because you have been ordered to pray. If you don't pray you will fall in hell. And who wants to suffer in hell? Is this life not enough of a suffering? Who wants to go to hell? Enough is enough! One wants to avoid hell, so it is better to go and pray. But it is out of fear, and anything that is out of fear is false. You cannot will prayer and you cannot will love and you cannot will the experience of beauty. It is not possible.
Nothing that is of any value is possible through willing. All that is beautiful and great happens when your will disappears.
Kavido, focusing is not needed, because focusing means concentration, concentration means tension. Non-focusing is needed. A state of utter un-concentration is needed so that you are open and available to all the sides, to the whole existence. And the difference is great: when you concentrate you are focused on one thing, but closed to everything else.
For example, if you are listening to me you can listen in two ways. One is the way of concentration that has been taught to you in the schools, colleges, universities. If you concentrate on me, then you will be sitting here very tense and you will feel tired. Then you cannot listen to this aeroplane passing by, and the birds chirping, and the wind blowing through the trees. No, all that has to be excluded from your consciousness. You have to narrow down your consciousness, and narrowing down your consciousness is great effort, tiring.
There is another way of listening, and that is my way of listening. You are simply open, available.
I am speaking, the aeroplane passes by - you hear that noise too. The birds sing, you hear that noise too. And this is not a distraction; in fact, what I am saying becomes more beautiful because it partakes of many other things too. The birds singing around add something to what I am saying: it becomes more total, it is not taken apart from life. It represents the whole life then. Then the trees are a part of it, and the wind and the rain and the sun - all are a part of it. And then you are not tired. After one hour you will feel refreshed, relaxed. You may not be able to remember exactly what I have said, but that is not needed at all; you will have absorbed it. It will have its impact on your being forever. It will have become part of you, you will have digested it.
One needs to memorize something if one does not understand it. If one understands it, it is finished; there is no need to carry it as a memory. You need to memorize something because you don't understand it - out of fear: maybe sometimes in future it will be needed, so you have to program your mind. But it is a tiring business. Focusing is concentration; concentration is tiring.
I teach you meditation, not concentration. And this is the difference: meditation is just an open, relaxed being, availability to all that is happening. And then suddenly silence descends, the beyond penetrates you, the heaven penetrates the earth. Then God is very close by, He is hand in hand.
You breathe Him.
I want you to experience God with me. I don't want you to practice experiencing God later on. That is nonsense! If you cannot experience it here with me, where are you going to experience it? Sitting in your room in a lotus posture, looking silly, you will experience God? Experience it this very moment!
THIS is a state of non-doing - I am not doing anything. Talking to you is not an act for me; it is just a response, it is natural. Your presence provokes it. And I am not there willing it, it is happening.
And your listening to me need not be in any kind of will; you also let it happen. Then there will be meeting, communion.
Kavido, there is no need to focus, no need to choose, no need to will. These are the ways of the ego, and the ego has to be utterly dropped. Then you live in a totally different way, an egoless way.
And that is the way of Tao.
The third question:
This is a very ancient religious practice, this is not new. You are not doing something special.
Religious people have always been doing it. So take it as a confirmatory sign! You must be becoming religious.
I have heard...
During the Second World War the pastor at a church was asked how many persons could sleep in the church-building in the event of an attack.
"I don't know," replied the pastor, "but we sleep four hundred every Sunday morning."
This is perfectly good. You enjoy your sleep! Don't feel guilty about it. Sleep is as much a spiritual activity as anything else. Let it happen. Don't be worried about it, otherwise you will start fighting with your sleep. What will you do? - you start feeling sleepy and you have not to sleep.
I don't give you any commandment. I don't give you any orders. I don't say, "Don't sleep. This is bad-mannered, this is a sin." No! What can you do? If sleep comes, sleep comes. Let it come. Fall into it easily, totally, and you will be surprised - soon it will disappear. Or, a new phenomenon will arise in you: that you will become able to sleep and yet absorb me.
We have a special term for it in India - no other language of the world has such a term because no other people have gone so deeply into these spaces. We have a special term; we call it YOGA NIDRA, a meditative sleep. If you listen to me totally, you can relax. And the relaxation will take you into a kind of sleep which is not ordinary sleep. You will not hear exactly what I am saying, but still you will find that something has been constantly happening to you. So nothing to be worried about.
And there can be many reasons. Maybe your sleep is not deep enough in the night. And remember, I am not against sleep at all, no. I am not against anything. If your sleep is not good in the night, maybe in the morning, feeling love for me, feeling warmth for me, being together with me, you start almost feeling like you are cuddled, and you go into sleep. It is perfectly good, it is healthy. And if you can sleep deeply here, soon you will be able to sleep deeply in the night too. Then it will disappear.
If it is an ordinary sleep it will disappear. If it IS YOGA NIDRA, a meditative sleep, it will become deeper and deeper. But you will not be missing anything.
And one thing is very good about it - don't feel guilty, because I say this is a very ancient religious tradition. In fact doctors have been known to send people to religious discourses when they suffer from insomnia.
It reminds me of an atheist who often got into discussions with the minister. After much urging the atheist finally agreed to attend a church service the following Sunday. The minister prepared a masterly discourse to appeal specially to his friend's appreciation of logic.
When the two met the next day, the atheist conceded, "I will say this for your Sunday sermon - it kept me awake until the early hours of the morning."
The clergyman beamed. "I am happy that I succeeded in making you doubt the wisdom of your convictions."
"Ah," said the other, "it was not that. You see, when I nap in the daytime I can't sleep at night."
Remember perfectly well that with me all is allowed. Never feel guilty. If there is anything I want you to get rid of, that is guilt. Otherwise small things start becoming wounds in you. You feel guilty - "What will others think? You have fallen asleep!" This has nothing to do with anybody else. Fall asleep! Waking also, you are not very awake, so I don't think you will be losing anything. What is your wakefulness?Just your eyes are open, that's all. And one can sleep perfectly well with open eyes - just a little practice is needed.
That's what happens in many car accidents. Many car accidents happen somewhere in the night nearabout between two and four, and the reason is that the driver is trying hard to keep his eyes open; by and by, he becomes capable of keeping his eyes open, and still he falls asleep. He keeps his eyes open and falls asleep with open eyes. Now this is a scientific finding. And that makes the whole problem: because he thinks he is awake he goes on driving because his eyes are open, but the sleep has taken possession of him, he is no longer aware.
When you are awake, there is not much wakefulness; just a small part of you is awake. So you are not a loser, don't be worried. Whenever sannyasins come and ask me, "What should we do?" I tell them: Don't fight, otherwise you will miss me and you will miss the sleep too. That will be really unnecessary trouble. If you fight with your sleep you cannot understand what I am saying and you cannot sleep either. At least save one - sleep. If it is physical sleep it will help you. Soon you will be able to sleep deeply in the night, because you will learn the art of sleeping. If you can sleep here while I am shouting at you, then who can keep you awake in the night? Or, if it IS YOGA NIDRA, then it is a tremendously beautiful space.
There are a few people who fall into YOGA NIDRA: Sheela is one, Mukta is one, Arup is one. These people fall into YOGA NIDRA. That is good! They become so utterly silent that it LOOKS like sleep.
They also feel asleep, but something starts entering into them. YOGA NIDRA is more like a hypnotic sleep.
You can go to Santosh, our hypnotist; he will tell you more about it. In a hypnotic sleep something tremendously beautiful is possible. What happens in a hypnotic sleep? The person becomes asleep to the whole world, but not to the hypnotist's voice. He goes on listening to it, one window remains open. That is why the hypnotist can order. He can tell the hypnotized person, "Stand up!" and he immediately stands up. If somebody else orders him he will not listen, he will remain asleep. In YOGA NIDRA that happens.
Being with the Master you become so relaxed - where else can you be so relaxed? Where else are you so accepted and so welcomed, so loved, so cherished? You start falling into a kind of sleep.
In fact, the word HYPNOS means nothing but sleep. The meaning of the word HYPNOS IS sleep.
You start falling into a kind of relaxed state, deep relaxation, but still my voice is being heard. Your intellect may not understand but your heart goes on absorbing it. And then it goes very deep, sometimes deeper than you can hear it while awake.
I have heard...
Herb McGlinchey, a Philadelphia ward leader, was once followed around by a reporter who was trying to write a feature story on how a busy politician spends his day. Now McGlinchey's drinking abilities were legendary. By the end of the day McGlinchey was still fresh and dapper, but the reporter who followed McGlinchey back to the bar at the forty-second ward clubhouse was soaked to the gills and was taking a nap sitting at the bar with his head resting on his folded arms.
McGlinchey was whispering into his ear, "McGlinchey is the greatest. McGlinchey is terrific."
"What are you doing, Herb?" an aide asked.
"Shut up!" McGlinchey is reported to have said. "I am talking to his subconscious. We are going to own this guy!"
When you fall into YOGA NIDRA, your conscious mind goes into sleep, but your unconscious is very alert and goes on absorbing. And that absorption is very deep, it goes to your very roots.
So don't be worried about it. If you fall asleep, fall asleep. Hungry, eat; tired, sleep. And when it is hot, it is hot, and when it is cold, it is cold. This acceptance is trust.
The fourth question:
I feel great! - because unless I leave you, you cannot leave sannyas. When I see that it is almost impossible to work upon you, when I see that you are not going to be available to mein this life at least - I start taking myself away from you. You can't be aware of it, because you are not even aware that I had got involved with you. If you were aware of my involvement with you, then there would be no need for me to drop you. I start taking away, because the same energy can be used by somebody else. The same time can be used by somebody else who will be more potential, more receptive.
And you will need another Buddha in some other time, in some other life. This is not the time for you, this is not the life for you. But because you are not aware of anything, one day you think you are leaving sannyas. Before you leave, I have left you - in fact, long before. Sometimes it has happened that I have left the man two years before, and after two years' time he leaves sannyas. It takes him two years because people go on postponing, postponing, postponing. But I always give him the feeling - so that he feels good - that it is he who is leaving sannyas. I don't expel anybody from sannyas, at least not directly. I always give the feeling to the person that he is leaving it; at least he will feel good that he has done something.
But I always feel great, because I feel unburdened. If a person is rock-like, to carry him is a burden.
And if he is noncooperative, then it is utterly useless to go on working on him. There is a certain time limit. I work, I do whatsoever can be done, but if I see it is an impossible case - and there are impossible cases - then he has to be left for somebody else in some future life.
And certainly, many more Buddhas will be coming in future and they will need disciples, so I cannot finish all! Gautama the Buddha took care of me; I have to take care of other Buddhas who will be coming.
It reminds me of what happened to a Presbyterian minister. One summer the Baptists and the Methodists agreed to stage an evangelical revival week. The Presbyterians reluctantly agreed to go along with it. At the end of the week the ministers got together to discuss the results of the camp Bible session.
The Methodist said, "We won four new members."
The Baptist said, "We did even better. Six people became converts to the Baptist faith."
They both turned to the Presbyterian and asked him how he did.
The parson answered, "We did best of all. We did not add any but we got rid of ten."
The work consists of two things: I have to help people to become sannyasins - seeing their possibilities, potentialities, hoping for them; but when I see that a person is impossible, that the more I give to him the less he receives, the more I give to him the more closed he becomes - as if he is obliging me... When this feeling becomes settled - and it is not that I take a hasty decision about it, I give all the opportunities and occasions for the person; but if it is impossible, then it is impossible - then I withdraw myself from his being. Once I have withdrawn, sooner or later he will have to drop sannyas.
It functions both ways. The moment you take sannyas, you think YOU are taking sannyas. In the majority of cases I have chosen you - that's why you take sannyas. Otherwise you would not have been able to take such a risk. And it also works the second way: when you drop sannyas, I have chosen you and I help you to drop it, because left to yourself you may go on postponing for your whole life. When you take sannyas, then you postpone for a long, long time. When you want to drop it, then too you postpone for a long, long time. You cannot do anything immediately. You cannot live the moment in its totality.
And this too I have felt: once you have left sannyas there is a possibility you may come back - because then you will miss me, and then you will understand what was being showered on you.
Then you will miss the nourishment, then you will miss the contact. When you are getting it you start taking it for granted. Sometimes it is good to take it away so real thirst and an appetite arises in you and you start seeing.
But next time, when you come for sannyas, it is not going to be that easy. I will not initiate you so easily. Then you will have to earn it. Once you drop sannyas, coming back is going to be difficult. I will create all kinds of barriers. Unless you transcend those barriers you will not be accepted again.
That too is to help you, because there are people who can enjoy things only if they are difficult. If things are very simple and easy they cannot enjoy them. They need long, hard, arduous ways.
Sannyas is a simple phenomenon because the whole foundation of it is to relax and live in Tao, relax and let God take care of you. It has to be very simple; it is simple, but your mind understands difficult things more easily. If you have barriers to cross you become challenged. When Hillary reached the Everest peak, do you know what he said? He was asked, "Why? Why did you take such a risk? - because there is nothing. You went there and you came back; there is nothing to get! Why did you take such a risk? And many people have died before: for almost seventy years people have been trying to reach Everest."
And do you know what Hillary said? He said, "It was such a challenge! Just the presence of Everest, unconquered. was a great challenge. It had to be conquered! There is nothing, I know, but that is not the point. Unconquered, and Everest is standing there, proud? Man has to conquer it!"
This is how man's mind functions.
So next time when a person comes back - and many want to come back - then it is going to be difficult. Then I am going to create all kinds of difficulties for you, for your sake. That too is a help for you.
The last question:
I will tell you a small story.
The question reminds me of the flies that those expert Japanese Samurai wielders can cut in mid- air. An American tourist heard of the incredible swordsmanship of the cultists of the ancient rite.
While in Tokyo he made inquiries as to where the best swordsman was. The best was not available.
Neither was the second best. But the American got a chance to see Japan's number-three Samurai wielder. The swordsman let a fly out of the bottle. While it was in flight he struck with the sword.
Swish! - the fly was cut in half The American was impressed. He could not see that anyone could do better than that. But a little later he wangled an invitation to the number-two man. Again a fly was released from the bottle. The Japanese expert made two swishes with the sword. Incredibly the fly was hacked and quartered in mid-air.
Now he could not see how number-one could do better than that. Finally his place on the waiting list went to the top. He was ushered into the presence of the best swordsman in Japan. Once again there was the ritual of opening the bottle with the fly. While it was buzzing above, the swordsman wielded a great chop. To the American's surprise the fly kept in flight. The American said, "I don't see why you are number-one. The number-three sliced the fly in two, and then I saw the number-two cut it to quarters in two passes. But you missed completely."
"Miss, did I?" said the number-one swordsman. "I assure you, that fly will never propagate again!"