Trust In The Master
IT IS RELATED THAT A MAN WENT TO THE ASSEMBLY OF THE MASTER BAQI-BILLAH OF DELHI AND SAID, "I HAVE BEEN READING THE FAMOUS VERSE OF THE MASTER HAFEZ, 'IF YOUR TEACHER BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM.' BUT I HAVE A DIFFICULTY."
BAQI-BILLAH SAID, "DWELL APART FROM ME FOR SOME TIME AND I SHALL ILLUSTRATE THE MATTER FOR YOU."
AFTER A CONSIDERABLE PERIOD OF TIME, THE DISCIPLE RECEIVED A LETTER FROM THE SAGE. IT SAID, "TAKE ALL THE MONEY YOU HAVE AND, GIVE IT TO THE GATE-KEEPER OF ANY BROTHEL."
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED, AND FOR A TIME THOUGHT THAT THE MASTER MUST BE A FRAUD. AFTER WRESTLING WITH HIMSELF FOR DAYS, HOWEVER, HE WENT TO THE NEAREST HOUSE OF ILL FAME AND PRESENTED THE MAN AT THE DOOR WITH ALL THE MONEY WHICH HE HAD.
"FOR SUCH A SUM OF MONEY", SAID THE DOORMAN, "I SHALL ALLOT YOU THE CHOICEST GEM OF OUR COLLECTION, AN UNTOUCHED WOMAN."
AS SOON AS HE ENTERED THE ROOM, THE WOMAN THERE SAID, "I HAVE BEEN TRICKED INTO BEING IN THIS HOUSE, AND AM HELD HERE BY FORCE AND THREATS. IF YOUR SENSE OF JUSTICE IS STRONGER THAN YOUR REASON FOR COMING HERE, HELP ME TO ESCAPE."
THEN THE DISCIPLE KNEW THE MEANING OF THE POEM OF HAFEZ, "IF YOUR TEACHER BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM."
SCIENCE IS BASED ON DOUBT: doubt is its method, its climate, its very soul. Science cannot exist without doubt. It is only through questioning, and constant questioning, that science comes to know about the facts of existence. Its world of enquiry is objective.
The object cannot be trusted. The object is dead. You have to penetrate the object with as many questions and doubts as possible; only then will the object reveal its mysteries.
Religion, on the contrary, is trust. Religion's method is trust. Trust is its climate, its philosophy, its very being, because religion is not concerned with objects but with your own subjectivity. The journey of science is outwards, the journey of religion is inwards. Science means going outward, religion means going inward; their directions are diametrically opposite. Although they are diametrically opposite they are complementary too, as all opposites always are.
There is a harmony between the opposites. The inner and the outer are not enemies, they are in utter coordination. The body and the soul are not enemies, they befriend each other; in fact they cannot exist separately, they can exist only in a togetherness. Man and woman, darkness and light, summer and winter, positive and negative - they are all together, although they are opposites. But they are not enemies, this has to be understood: opposites and yet complementaries... and there is utter harmony in existence.
It is like inhalation and exhalation: you breathe in, you breathe out. When you breathe in it is one process, the breath goes inwards; when you breathe out it is just the opposite process, the breath goes outwards, but it is the same breath. Inhalation and exhalation are two aspects of the same phenomenon, opposites and yet complementary; so are religion and science, so are doubt and trust.
Because it has not been understood in the past a great calamity has happened to humanity, the greatest calamity, I call it - the calamity that has kept religion and science not only separate but inimical. In the past we have not been able to bring a synthesis between science and religion.
Because of that incapability the world has become split and the man who is trained in science becomes anti-religious; and vice versa, the person who moves into the world of religion becomes anti-scientific. This need not happen, this should not happen.
If you are really. intelligent you will be able to coordinate between these opposites. You will be able to bring a harmony between these two, doubt and trust, and then arises the real total human being.
What do I mean when I say a great harmony has to be achieved? I mean that when you are moving outwards, use doubt as your methodology, trust doubt when you are moving outwards. When you are enquiring into the world of objects trust doubt. Doubt is beautiful, immensely beautiful. And when you are moving inwards put your doubt aside: trust trust. And the man who can manage this I call a really intelligent person.
It is like you are seeing me, you are seeing me through your eyes, but you are also listening to me, you are listening to me through your ears. The ears cannot see and the eyes cannot hear, but still there is a tremendous coordination happening in you: you know you are hearing the same person that you are seeing. This is intelligence, this coordination is intelligence. Deep down a synthesis is happening constantly. The ears are pouring one information, the eyes are pouring another information; both are unrelated - as far as ears and eyes are concerned, both are unrelated - but your intelligence is creating a relationship between them: you are hearing the same person you are seeing.
Exactly in the same way, doubt cannot know the subject and trust cannot know the object. Doubt can know the object, trust can know the subject; and intelligence is when both pour their information into one pool and truth is known in both its aspects, as inner, as outer.
That is the real religion humanity needs now - or, the real science - which will not divide man and which will not cripple man. Up to now, hitherto, man has been crippled.
If you trust you forget the language of doubt. The society becomes unscientific, becomes incapable of tackling so many problems that man has to encounter, becomes poor, impoverished, ill, ugly. If you start only using doubt the society becomes better, scientifically better, technologically better, affluent, but the inner world simply is forgotten. Then you don't have a soul; inwards you remain fast asleep. In both ways man remains lopsided. In both ways man remains partial and cannot become total.
The religions of the past have failed in creating a total man. And so has been the case with modern science; modern science has also failed in creating the total man. And the total man is the need because only the total man can be contented, only the total man can be richer inwards, outwards.
Only the total man can be really in a celebration - his body satisfied, his soul satisfied, his senses contented, his spirit contented.
This small story is the story of trust, because Sufism is an approach towards the inner. This story is not meant to be understood as against doubt. It has to be understood as that only as far as the inner journey is concerned, doubt is inadequate, only trust is adequate.
If you want to see, see through the eyes, don't try to see through the ears; ears are not capable of that. If you want to hear, hear through the ears and forget all about the eyes; eyes cannot hear.
Both are right in their own dimensions. Both are partial, and your intelligence has to transcend their partiality. Your intelligence has to create a synthesis.
In the past your intelligence was not trusted, hence you were told either to doubt and become scientific, or to trust and become religious. Neither the so-called religious people have trusted your intelligence and its transcending quality, nor have the scientists trusted your intelligence and its transcending quality. Both were afraid because the other looked opposite. All complementaries look opposite.
There is no need to be afraid of the opposite. The opposite has to be absorbed, not denied, because whatsoever is denied will take revenge in its own time. Never deny anything: let that be a fundamental law. Absorb, go on absorbing, howsoever opposite something looks to you.
Remember always, existence functions through opposites, it can only function through opposites. It is through the opposites that existence creates momentum, dynamism. It is by polar opposites that the existence creates a dialectical process; otherwise there would be no dialectical process.
Just think: a world only of men and no women - it would not be rich, it would be very very flat; or a world where only women exist - that too would be ugly, that too would be very very stagnant. From where will the movement come? The opposite is the challenge, and because of the challenge the movement arises. Because of the challenge you cannot become asleep, you become awakened.
It is through the opposites that existence moves, grows, evolves. It is a subtle strategy, but only now is it possible to understand it in its totality, because we have lived the way of religion for centuries and we have lived the way of science also for a few centuries; now we know that both are complementary, not opposites.
But this story is the story of the religious investigation: it depends on trust.
A few things before we enter into the story...
Says Hafez, "Do not travel through these stations without the company of a Perfect Master. There is darkness. Beware of the danger of getting lost!" When you are moving outwards you can move alone, because in the outer world you are never alone. Millions of people are existing there. When you are moving outwards the reality is so individual, it is not personal. The reality is objective, it is impersonal. If you are seeing a rock it is not only you who is seeing the rock; everybody who is standing there can see the rock. The rock has an objective existence. There is not any danger of getting into hallucinations. The others' presence, their witness, will keep you away from hallucinations.
But when you start moving inwards you are alone. Who is going to decide whether what you are seeing is true or just a fantasy? When you move outwards there is light, light of the sun and the moon and the stars; there is enough light outside. But when you move inwards first you will encounter great darkness because your eyes have become accustomed to the outer light and they don't know how to look in. You will be falling into an abysmal darkness. You will need somebody who has traveled the inner path - you will need a Master.
In the outer world you will need only a teacher who can inform you. That information can be got from the library too, or from a computer. The teacher is just there to give you information like the book or the computer. There is no need for any personal involvement with the teacher; the teacher is not there as a person, you need not be intimate with him.
The Master means you have to be very intimate with him - it is a love relationship - because in the inner world you will need him so deeply that unless you are very close to his heart and he is very close to your heart, it will not be possible to keep his company in the inner darkness. Great intimacy is needed, and intimacy arises out of love, out of trust. If you doubt the Master, you will not be able to go on that dangerous journey of inner adventure. Only his love and your love for him will keep you alive, will keep you enthusiastic, will keep you nourished.
Hafez is right: "Do not travel through these stations without the company of a Perfect Master. There is darkness. Beware of the danger of getting lost!"
In the outside world there is no danger of getting lost. There are milestones on every road, maps are available, guides are available, and there are millions of people always there who can help you.
But in the inner world there are no maps, because each individual's subjectivity is so different that maps cannot be made, and each individual's growth is so unique that milestones cannot be made, and each individual follows such different labyrinths that you will need somebody who is tremendously alert, aware, enlightened to help you on each step. Otherwise from each step there is a possibility of getting lost.
And the greatest problem is: when you lose the outer world you are left utterly alone. And you will not be able to make any distinction between what is fact and what is fiction. The boundaries between fact and fiction start dissolving.
For example, in the morning when you wake up you relate a dream to your wife. You know it is a dream. How do you know it is a dream? - because only you dream it. Your wife was sleeping on the same bed and she had no awareness that you had been to the Himalayas, and you had been traveling in the mountains, and you had been visiting places. She had no awareness, and she was sleeping just by your side. In the morning if your wife says that she has also dreamt the same dream; that yes, the journey was beautiful and the mountains were beautiful, and "Think of that dark bungalow where we stayed"... then you will become suspicious about whether it was a dream or a reality. And if your son comes in and says, "Daddy, where have you been the whole night? I came twice. You were both not present in the room," then you will become more suspicious: "Maybe it was real?" How do you judge reality? If others agree then you know it is a fact, if nobody agrees then you know it is a fiction. The others' agreement makes it a fact.
But in the inner world you will be alone, totally alone. There will be nobody to agree or disagree.
How will you know what is fact and what is fiction? If you see Buddha in your meditations, how will you know whether he has really appeared or you have simply been dreaming? That is the problem.
And one can easily get lost in one's own fictions, and to be lost in one's own fictions is madness: that is the danger on the inner journey. You will need somebody who can be present in your innerness.
That is the meaning of trust: creating such a strong bridge with someone that even when you are alone in your meditations he is there.
The Master is always with the disciple if the disciple allows him to be. The Master is absolutely available until the very last moment; yes, to the very last moment, until God happens to you. The Master disappears only when God has happened; or, both things happen simultaneously - the disappearance of the Master and the appearance of God. But up to that moment the Master follows you like a shadow. He keeps you alert, he does not allow you to go astray.
Rumi says, "Deadly poison looks like honey and milk. Wait! Do not journey without a Master who knows."
The relationship between a Master and a disciple is what is meant by the word trust. To others who have never known of it, it will look blind - just as love looks blind to people who have never loved.
But ask those who have loved and they will tell a totally different story. They will say, "We were blind before we had loved. We became insightful only through love. We attained to eyes through love, we had no eyes without love." Ask the people who have known love and they will say, "People without love are all blind."
And that's the case with the disciple who has known the love and trust for a Master. He will laugh when you say, "You are blind." He will laugh at your ridiculous remark, because now he knows what it is to have eyes, eyes into his own inner reality, eyes which can see inwards. You have eyes which can see only outwards, but the disciple starts having eyes which can see inwards. He starts having ears which can hear inwards. His senses are doubled. You live with only five senses, the disciple lives with ten senses: five for the outer journey and five for the inner. The disciple becomes utterly rich: just think... five more senses becoming available. You have the ears which can know and hear the music that comes from the outside, but you are deaf to the inner music - and there is an inner music which is continuously flowing in you.
That inner music Sufis call sama. Once it is heard, all outer music just becomes noise and nothing else. You have an inner fragrance; once it is smelled all outer fragrances are no more fragrances.
They start stinking. When the inner eye opens you know a totally different vision of beauty, a new splendor, and before that splendor all outer beauties simply look pale - faint old photographs, reflections in muddy water. When you have known the inner crystal-clarity, everything outside looks a chaos, a confusion.
The disciple becomes utterly rich. He starts growing inner senses: he has ten senses instead of five. And when all these ten senses fall into a harmony something immensely beautiful and blissful is created. That's what God is.
Hafez says, "Stop this cleverness and planning, for love closes the gates of the Divine to the heart of anyone who does not completely lose himself on the Path of Devotion."
The disciple has to lose himself into the Master; that's what trust is. Then there is no question of doubt. The surrender is absolute. Then the Master becomes your inner voice, then there is no separation. You don't think in terms of separation.
The Master is the Kaaba of his lovers - Kaaba is the name of the temple of God in Mecca. The Master is the Kaaba to his disciples; the disciples don't go to the Kaaba. That's why Mohammedans, orthodox Mohammedans, have not been very happy about the Sufis.
It is related that when the great Sufi, Junnaid, asked his disciple, Mansur, to go for a pilgrimage to Kaaba because Mansur was creating troubles... Whenever he would go into his ecstasy he would start shouting in utter joy, "I am God!" and that is sacrilege to the orthodox Mohammedan, that is arrogance.
Junnaid told Mansur, his disciple, many times, "You stop shouting that. I know you are, I know I am, I know everybody is - but you stop! Don't say it so loudly, keep it inside, because the people are foolish - they will start creating trouble for you." Mansur would always say, "Yes, sir." But whenever he would be in his ecstasy again he would shout, "Ana el Haq!" I am God I Junnaid said, "You promise me, and you again and again do the same." He said, "What can I do? I promise you, but God does not promise you. And when I am lost, he declares I It is not me." And Junnaid knew it, so he said, "It is good" - just to avoid... because rumors were spreading, reports against Mansur and Junnaid and their work were reaching the king. And the prime minister was very much against... so Junnaid said, "Just to avoid the trouble you go for a pilgrimage; you go to Kaaba." And in those days going to Kaaba meant for years; you have to go walking thousands of miles. So Mansur said, "Okay." He stood up and he said, "Okay, so I am going." Junnaid was very happy. He said, "I was not thinking you would leave so easily."
And what did Mansur do, do you know? He just went around Junnaid seven times and then said, "I am back! You are my Kaaba!"
To the disciple the Master is Kaaba. To the disciple the Master is his God, his temple.
And he is also the qiblah to the disciple. Qiblah is the direction facing Mecca, towards which all Moslems pray. Whenever a Moslem prays he keeps his face towards Kaaba; that direction is called qiblah.
Now Sufis are again very unorthodox: they don't keep their faces towards the Kaaba, they keep their faces towards the Master, wherever the Master is. For the disciple the Master is Kaaba and the Master is qiblah. He is the temple and he is the direction to the temple.
This is trust.
In HADID it is reported that God says to Mohammed, "Whoever seeks me will find me. Whoever finds me will know me. Whoever knows me will have love for me. Whoever loves me I will love.
Whomever I love I will kill. And whomever I will kill, his blood-money I will pay. I am myself his blood-money".. a tremendously important saying. God says to Mohammed, "Whomever I love I will kill."
The Master has to kill the disciple. The disciple has to allow the Master to kill him. The disciple has to be in a rejoicing when the Master kills him.
Just the other day somebody who was not yet a sannyasin had asked, "It is said that if you meet the Buddha on the Way, kill him. Then why is it not said if you meet Rajneesh on the Way, kill him?"
Exactly that has to be done: if you meet Rajneesh on the Way, kill him! But that statement was made to the disciples; you are not yet a disciple. You will never meet me on the Way in the first place. The question of killing me will never arise. I can meet you on the Way only if you have first allowed me to kill you.
That is the meaning of being a disciple: the Master first kills the disciple - that is the beginning of the journey - then finally the disciple kills the Master - that is the end. Then the Master and the disciple have both disappeared. Then only God is.
That tremendously pregnant statement by the Zen Masters, "If you meet the Buddha on the Way, kill him," is the last step of the journey, so whomsoever has asked it has not understood it at all. Yes, you have to kill me, but you will meet me only if you allow me first to kill you. That is a pre-requirement. I will not come on just anybody's Way, Tom, Harry, or Dick, no. I will only come on the Way when you have allowed me to destroy you. And then, certainly, the Master has to be killed. The beginning is with the death of the disciple and the end with the death of the Master. Then the separation is gone; then there is no disciple, no Master. Then only pure energy is left. That pure energy is God.
The disciple has to be in the state Sufis call 'tavern of ruins', kharabat.
It is said that Bayazid of Bistami was in this state when someone knocked at his door. Bayazid asked, "Who do you want?" The man answered that he was looking for Bayazid of Bistami. Bayazid replied, "Ah! It has been years since I have had any news of him."
The moment a person becomes a disciple he has chosen suicide. He has chosen to destroy himself, because he has known that to be is to be in misery, that to be is to be in hell. Now he wants to learn the ways not to be.
Sufism leads to this state, the state of non-being, loss of self and passing away into the beloved.
As Khwajeh' Abdollah Ansari has said, "Oh God! Non-being is an affliction for all, but a blessing for me." Thus whoever enters the path of Sufism in order to achieve a spiritual station or high state of consciousness has taken the first step wrongly. The real Sufi is one who goes on the path in order to not be. The gnostic, Aref, gyan-yogi, travels within himself, whereas the Sufi travels from himself.
The gnostic says, "Know thyself in order to know God." The Sufi, prem-yogi, the bhakta, says, "Let go of thyself in order to be free. " The goal of the Sufi is not self-knowledge but dissolution of the self. The goal of the Sufi is not self-realization but annihilation of the self, fana. And the first lesson has to be learned with the Master.
To be in a state of not-being in the presence of the Master is called adab. Adab is a Sufi word: it means the art of being in the presence of the Master. Literally it means etiquette, but it is not just etiquette. It means the art of how to be in the presence of a Master; in fact, how to be there and yet absent, how to be as if you are not.
The story is told of a disciple who was once in the presence of his Master, the great Junnaid. He was standing with total reverence and respect, like one who is praying to God. The Master said, "You are standing superbly, but it would be better if you were not to be at all." That is adab - to be in the presence of the Master as an absence, so his presence can fill you to all nooks and corners of your being. Not to give him any resistance - that is adab; not to have any armor around you - that is adab; not to defend yourself - that is adab.
And that's what we constantly go on doing: we are constantly defending ourselves. And it is perfectly okay in the outside world; you have to defend. It is a constant struggle to survive and you have to keep an armor, otherwise you will be exploited; people will take advantage of your vulnerability, of your openness. So when relating in the world you have to keep a certain quality of resistance, you have to be on guard, and that's okay.
But if you have that same attitude and manner when you are with the Master then your being with the Master is just pointless. There you have to surrender all your defence structures, strategies. You have to open your doors and windows so the Master can flow in you like light and breeze and rain, so the Master can simply penetrate you with no resistance from your side. You have to be just a receptivity, you have to be feminine. That is adab.
And trust is the fundamental of adab.
Now this beautiful story.
IT IS RELATED THAT A MAN WENT TO THE ASSEMBLY OF THE MASTER BAQI-BILLAH OF DELHI AND SAID, "I HAVE BEEN READING THE FAMOUS VERSE OF THE MASTER HAFEZ, 'IF YOUR TEACHER BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM,' BUT I HAVE A DIFFICULTY."
In the world of the Sufis, satsang is called the assembly of the Master, darbar - "Master's court", because the Master is a king as far as his disciples are concerned. In fact who else can be a king?
All other kings are just poor beggars compared to the kingdom of a Master. His kingdom is the kingdom of God. He is really rich. He may be living as a beggar or as a king - that is irrelevant - but he is rich, and only he is rich. Sufis are right to call his assembly "the court", darbar.
The Master is not only a teacher; it is not a class. The Master is really the Master. The disciples are those who have surrendered their whole being in totality. They no more exist separately, they are just obedience and nothing else. They respect the Master as the king, as the real king.
IT IS RELATED THAT A MAN WENT TO THE ASSEMBLY OF THE MASTER BAQI-BILLAH OF DELHI AND SAID, "I HAVE BEEN READING THE FAMOUS VERSE OF MASTER HAFEZ..."
Reading never helps you to know the truth, because reading, you cannot understand what you read.
The meaning is not in the words, never; you read the words but the meaning is supplied by you. The meaning is always yours. Words come to you, empty, and then you pour your meaning into those words.
To understand Hafez you will have to be a Hafez, to understand Jesus you will have to be a Jesus; there is no other way. If you think you can understand Jesus without becoming a Jesus, you are utterly wrong. This is not the way to approach great statements, the statements of the realized ones.
Now this man says, "I was reading the famous words of the Master Hafez. " You can read it but you will not understand it. In fact you will mis-understand it.
The worthy shepherd of the Mission Methodist Church, in a burst of passionate eloquence in denunciation of the world's wickedness, declared, "Hell is full of cocktails, highballs, short skirts, and one-piece bathing suits!"
Voice from the gallery, "Oh, Death, where is thy sting!"
You will understand in your own way. You will understand the way you can understand.
A bibulous person issued from a saloon in a state of melancholy intoxication, and outside the door he encountered the parson of his church.
The pastor exclaimed mournfully, "Oh, John, I am so sorry to see you come out of such a place as that."
The bibulous one wept sympathetically. "Then", he declared huskily, "I will go right back." And he did.
THIS MAN SAYS, "I HAVE BEEN READING THE FAMOUS VERSE OF THE MASTER HAFEZ, 'IF YOUR TEACHER BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM,' AND I HAVE A DIFFICULTY."
Naturally, obviously, because this can be one of the most sacrilegious statements possible, to stain your prayer carpet with wine: "Hafez must be mad! What is he saying? He cannot be a Moslem.
What is he saying.? - staining your prayer carpet with wine?" Naturally, he has great difficulty in understanding it. He is puzzled; he has started doubting. He is still calling him "the great Master Hafez", but now great doubt has arisen in him.
Ninety-nine percent of our lives consists of doubts, because ninety-nine percent of our lives consists of going out, extroversion. We live in doubt, doubt has become almost our nature. Our first approach, attitude, tendency, is that of doubt. First we doubt - unless it is proved otherwise. We need proofs to trust. For doubt, we don't need any proofs; doubting has become our habit.
The disciple has to change that habit; he has to learn trusting. Trust - unless proved otherwise; doubt only if it is proved. Otherwise don't doubt; unless it is proved, don't doubt. This is a great change. This is what makes an ordinary man a disciple. This is the transformation required.
You see a stranger. The first idea is that of doubt - maybe he is a thief, a murderer, who knows?
Unless proved otherwise, you carry doubt without any proof. You don't trust him.
The disciple has to change his attitude - at least with the Master, and then slowly, slowly with the other disciples of the Master. That's how he becomes a part of the family of the Master, of his commune, by dropping this ugly habit of doubt.
And it is good in the marketplace, but the marketplace should not be your total life. You should leave something for some other world, for some other dimension. You should leave at least a small corner of your inner being as a shrine for trust. If you become full of doubt, then you are full of illnesses, then you don't have any source of well-being in you. Whenever you can trust a person you feel great joy. That's why love is so joyous - because you can trust a person.
It is said of Adolf Hitler that he could never love a woman because he could never trust anybody.
He never allowed any woman to stay with him in his room, never. Why? And it was not that he was not having some relationships with women. He was having relationships with women, but he would never allow any woman to stay in his room in the night. Who knows? - she may poison him. Who knows? - she may be a spy. He was incapable of friendship. He was one of the loneliest men in the world. If you cannot love, if you cannot even trust a woman, certainly you will be living in a kind of constant paranoia, fear. He could not marry a woman his whole life, because if you marry a woman then you will have to trust her. Then she will stay with you, then she will prepare your food, she will sleep with you, and you are unnecessarily becoming vulnerable. He certainly did marry a woman, but only before he committed suicide, three hours before. When he had already decided, "Now I am going to commit suicide," he married. Now there was no fear; what else could she do? He was already going to commit suicide, hence now it seemed logical to marry; there was no problem. What else could she do? At most she could poison him; he himself was going to poison himself. Now there was no need to be afraid: death was coming. He married just three hours before.
In the middle of the night a priest was awakened from his sleep, brought to the basement where he was staying. Half asleep, not understanding what was happening, somehow he managed the ceremony. No friends were present, no relatives were present, just a few guards. And after the marriage what did he do? Did he make love to the woman? No, they both committed suicide. That was the only thing that he did after marriage. Maybe he wanted somebody to follow him in death, so he got married.
Adolf Hitler may be an extreme case, but if you watch your own mind you will find that in each individual the same kind of doubt exists, more or less. Even if you live with a man or a woman for years, still the doubt persists there. You are always watching from the corner of your eye: "Who knows?"
This is a way to create hell for yourself.
Find at least one man in your life with whom you can be utterly open, and that will be your first lesson of love and your first lesson of God and your first lesson of transcendence.
The man said, "Now I am having difficulty."
The Scotsman entered the parlor of the "painless" dentist, nursing an aching tooth. The doctor examined the tooth and then announced, "It is badly ulcerated. I am afraid it will have to come out, and it will be necessary to put you under an anesthetic to do it. "
"Anesthetic?" questioned the Scot.
"Yes - gas, you know. It will simply put you to sleep for a few minutes, and in the meantime I will be able to extract the tooth without giving you any pain."
"Won't I be able to feel anything at all when I am under the influence?"
"No, nothing whatsoever."
The Scotsman thereupon pulled out his purse and began to count out some coins.
"Oh, never mind paying now," said the dentist. "Plenty of time for that once the tooth is out."
"I was not getting ready to pay you. I was just making sure how much money I had before you give me the gas."
That is the way people are living.
If you had come across this statement of Hafez, "If your teacher bids you stain your prayer carpet with wine, obey him," you would also have suspected, doubted. It goes against all your religious teachings. It goes against all your life experiences.
You have been told always to be on guard; that's why you are so tense, that's why people cannot relax. If you cannot trust you cannot relax, and if you cannot relax you cannot know the taste of life.
BAQI-BILLAH SAID, "DWELL APART FROM ME FOR SOME TIME AND I SHALL ILLUSTRATE THE MATTER FOR YOU."
Why did the Master say, "Dwell apart from me for some time... "? Because when you are close to a Master, many times you start having illusions of trust, because the very presence of the Master goes on changing your inner chemistry. His very presence is alchemical. You start trusting not because trust has arisen in you, but only because the Master is present there and his constant showering, his vibe, can give you the delusion that you trust him.
Many times I send my sannyasins far away, for months, for years, just to give them a real experience of where they are. Here, you are riding on a wave. Here, my presence, and the presence of thousands of other sannyasins, is creating an energy-field which can possess you, turn you, toss you, can create a dance in you, can bring a song to you. And naturally you will think this is your dance, this is your song, and it may not be. It may be just the impact, it may be just that you were caught by the momentum of the energy. It is good sometimes that the disciple go far away - unless the Master decides otherwise.
So when sometimes I say to you " Go away to the West for a few months", don't feel offended, don't feel rejected. That may be a necessary step for you, a need of your being. You will come back enriched. You will come truer when you come back. You will know what is yours and what is not yours. And it is very good always to remember what is yours and what is just an impact of a great whirlpool of energy.
Baqi-Billah said, "Dwell apart from me for some time... " because if the Master had said something right then, there was every possibility that the disciple would have accepted it. He could not accept Hafez's statement because Hafez was not his Master. And Hafez was dead - centuries divided him from Hafez. He knew nothing of Hafez; he had not tasted the wine of Hafez, Hafez was just scripture. But when his own Master, Baqi-Billah, was there, if the Master had said something he might have done it believing that he trusted. He may not have doubted - although the doubt would be there deep in the unconscious.
The Master sends him away so that he becomes more normal, more real, more as he is; so the contact with the Master becomes loose, the impact of the Master fades away, wears down.
"DWELL APART FROM ME FOR SOME TIME AND I SHALL ILLUSTRATE THE MATTER FOR YOU."
And that is the way of the Sufis: they always illustrate. They are not interested much in answering intellectually. Their whole effort is to create situations so those situations can illustrate things to you.
Just the other day somebody was saying that many doubts arise in him about me, my work, my people, the commune. I said, "It is natural, nothing to be worried about. Don't repress those doubts - that is dangerous. Never repress those doubts. Watch, try to understand them, and don't be worried because if trust is there, if tacit trust is there, then it is capable of transforming doubts also in its favor. It can use doubts also as steps. It can make doubts serve trust. "
It is not a question of dropping doubts, it is a question of gaining more and more trust. Then the doubts can be transformed, can be used. And it is bound to be there, because this commune is a situation. You go on thinking of it as an ashramas other ashrams are. All other ashrams are made in such a way that they create trust in you, they are arranged in such a way that they fulfill your demands; but then your doubt will never be transformed, remember, because your doubt will never be provoked.
This is not an ordinary ashram like those you come across in India. They fulfill all your expectations.
They are perfectly aware of how you will trust them. This is just a totally different phenomenon that is happening here. I know all your expectations, and I do exactly the opposite. And this is going to happen continuously, more and more. The more people will be coming here, the more I will destroy all kinds of expectations. Whatsoever you demand is not going to be fulfilled, so that your doubt remains on the surface: you have to do something about it. If it moves into the unconscious, you forget about it. It is dangerous; it will remain forever.
For example, you would like me to live in poverty. I can live in poverty very easily, there would be no problem in it. My whole life consists of sitting in my room. If the prime minister of India decides to put me in a jail, there would be no difference, it would be the same.
You would like this ashram to function according to your ideas...
Just the other day one German sannyasin was saying, "My girlfriend was to come, but she is put-off because of your car. That's why she has not come. " I am so grateful to her I Now, I can have a third-rate Indian car and that will not put you off, but it will put you on, and you will feel very, very great. In fact, I can come just walking because I don't need the car at all! It is just a question of two minutes' walk. I never go out, you know. The car is not needed.
So why is the car there? And why the costliest? Just to put your girlfriends off. I am tired of your girlfriends I It is very good of her that she has not come.
Just think, if I were sitting in poverty, in rags, and in an Indian kind of dirtiness, your girlfriend would have thought, "Oh, here is the real Master," and she would have believed - but she would have believed in her own mind, not in me. She would have believed in her own expectations, not in me. I would have been secondary. Her expectations are fulfilled: that's why she believes. She believes in herself, not in me.
I am going to flout all your expectations, and only then if you believe in me, do you believe. Then the trust is real.
AFTER A CONSIDERABLE PERIOD OF TIME, THE DISCIPLE RECEIVED A LETTER FROM THE SAGE. IT SAID, "TAKE ALL THE MONEY YOU HAVE AND GIVE IT TO THE GATE-KEEPER OF ANY BROTHEL."
Now what kind of advice is this? Just think of yourself, if I gave you something like this... and I go on giving something like this.
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED....
And naturally. You cannot be angry with the disciple; that's how human beings are. They are always watching by the corner of their eye, they are always suspicious. Even if they believe, trust, it is only on the surface, only so far. They can go with you only to a certain extent, and then their mind starts refusing: "This is too much. I cannot go beyond it. What do you think of me? Am I a fool?"
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED....
And when you are shocked, you think, naturally, that something is wrong with the Master. This is sheer unintelligence, because the Master may deliberately be shocking you. The shock may be a shock-treatment. You can ask the psychiatrists, who are slowly, slowly being known as "shockiatrists"
- they have started giving electric shocks to people, insulin shocks to people. But the Master may have known it all along, that at some time a real shock is very good to the system. It shakes you alive, it helps you come to your senses, it gives you vitality, it makes you again alert.
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED, AND FOR A TIME THOUGHT THAT THE MASTER MUST BE A FRAUD.
And you have to understand the disciple - because he is you! He is the quintessence of all so-called disciples in the world. Suspicion has arisen: "Now this Master seems to be a fraud. He must be having some illicit relationship with some brothel, now I have to pay. This is very tricky! What kind of order is this? And with no explanation attached to it. "
The Master never gives explanations. The Master simply gives you an order, and it has to be done.
If you ask for the explanation you have missed the opportunity, because explanations can be given but they only satisfy your reason. And if your reason is satisfied and then you do something, it is not trust. It does not help your trust to grow.
McGinnis was dying. The lawyer came to make his will, and his wife, Bridget McGinnis, saw to it that she sat in on this important ceremonial.
"State your debts as quickly as possible." said the man of law.
"Tim Reilly owes me forty dollars," moaned the sick man.
"Good," said the prospective widow.
"Sean O'Neill owes me thirty-seven dollars."
"Sensible to the last," beamed the wife.
"To Michael Callahan I owe two hundred dollars."
"Blessed Mother of God! Hear the man rave!"
Now the thing has changed. When it goes with you it is profitable to you. When it is fulfilling your expectations it's perfectly good, "Sensible to the last." But now? - "Blessed Mother of God I Hear the man rave! "... the man is mad. If you have to pay two hundred dollars to somebody, then the man is utterly mad. This is the way mind functions, and the mind thinks that this is the intelligent way.
The wedding ceremony was going on when finally the minister asked the bride, "Will you obey your husband?" "Do you think I am a fool?"
This is becoming more and more a settled attitude in the world. That's why religion has evaporated.
It has become a settled thing in the minds of people that to believe is to be a fool, to trust is to be stupid; not to trust and to doubt continuously is the way of intelligence. It is not.
Yes, if you are in scientific research work, doubt is intelligent, but if you are inquiring within your consciousness, then trust is intelligent. Intelligence knows what method is needed, and where.
Intelligence never messes around with different methods which are useful in different directions.
Intelligence knows what to do in a certain situation - when to use your eyes and when to use your ears, and when to use your doubt and when to use your trust.
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED, AND FOR A TIME THOUGHT THAT THE MASTER MUST BE A FRAUD. AFTER WRESTLING WITH HIMSELF FOR DAYS, HOWEVER, HE WENT TO THE NEAREST HOUSE OF ILLFAME AND PRESENTED THE MAN AT THE DOOR WITH ALL THE MONEY WHICH HE HAD.
Yes, there were many doubts, but still deep down there was some trust. That's why the Master had sent him away - to struggle on his own - because if he could find some tacit trust somewhere inside himself, he will have found the rock on which the temple of life can be built. Had he been in the presence of the Master, he would have immediately said "Yes, sir." He would have gone and given the money, but that would not have been of much help. It would have been superficial, and the doubt would have remained and would have come in some way or other - and with vengeance.
It always happens. If I say to you to do something and you do it because trust is required - that's why you do it - and the doubt is there but you keep it repressed, then sooner or later it will start coming, in different ways. It will start finding new outlets. It will poison you.
Trust is good if it comes without repressing doubts, if it gives doubts full expression and then surfaces, if it gives doubts all opportunities and, then too, ultimately wins over. That was the device of sending the disciple far away for a long time.
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED, AND FOR A TIME THOUGHT THAT THE MASTER MUST BE A FRAUD. ... AFTER WRESTLING WITH HIMSELF FOR DAYS...
That wrestling is of importance. Now he was divided. A part of him was saying "How can the Master be a fraud?" He has known him, he has been in intimate closeness with the Master, he has seen the man with his own eyes, he has felt his life, his light, he understands what he is. A part of his heart goes on saying "Trust", but the whole mind, the outward-going mind, creates a thousand and one doubts.
The struggle is between the mind and the heart, the outgoing energy and the ingoing energy. The struggle is between exhalation and inhalation. And it is good to go through this turmoil.
The groups that I give to you are really devices to go through this turmoil: they create a thousand and one situations in which trust is needed. And naturally all kinds of doubts arise, and you have to wrestle and you have to fight your way out of the mess. If you can fight your way out of it, if you can go through and through and come out of it intact, something tremendously valuable has been achieved. So the purpose of the same groups in the West is different; the purpose here is totally different.
The purpose in the West is somehow to help you to become a little more mature about your life, a little more accepting of your life, to make you a little more alert so that you can function in a better way, so that you don't go unnecessarily into neurotic patterns. The purpose of these same groups in the West is psychological.
Here it is not only psychological. Yes, it is that, but more is implied: it is spiritual. The psychological purpose is only minor; the spiritual purpose is major. The spiritual purpose is to bring your whole turmoil to the surface. All your doubts, all possible doubts that you may have carried for many lives have to be brought to the surface, because only from the surface can they evaporate and disappear. They have to be brought out of the basement, out of your conscious, unconscious, collective unconscious. From every level of your being they have to be brought to the surface where you can encounter them.
And it is not only a question of becoming a little more mature, a little more accepting, a little less neurotic, a little more normal, no: the purpose is to help you to grow into trust. That is not the purpose in the West.
God is not the purpose of all the humanistic psychotherapy groups in the West. God is the purpose here.
That's why sometimes it happens that when a therapist from the West comes, if he is very arrogant, egoistic, and if he thinks that he knows all about these groups, he is not much benefited, because he does not know that we are using these groups as a means to some faraway end.
That's what happened to Geet Govind. When he came from Esalen and participated in one group, he became very much annoyed, angry. But he was cowardly too. He didn't say anything to me; he should have said something. If he had any guts he should have said to me, "This is not the way to run the groups." He didn't say a thing, he simply escaped. And now he is trying to create anti-propaganda against me in Esalen.
Here he was crying and weeping in front of me, tears were rolling down from his eyes, and now he is trying to create propaganda against me there. What has happened?
He had come with his fixed ideas - that "This is the way an encounter group should be" - unaware that here things are being done in a different way, for a different purpose. If he had asked me, things would have been clear to him, but he was not even courageous enough to ask that. He simply escaped.
Now just the other day, Amit Prem received a letter from Esalen. Amit Prem runs a few therapy groups there in Esalen, and he introduces my methods, meditations, my ideas, my ways, into his groups. Now he has received a letter that "Rajneesh has to be totally dropped; only then will you be allowed to run groups here. You will have to restructure your groups and their methods." This is happening to a few others too.
Whenever you come with a fixed idea, whoever you are, you are going to get into trouble with me.
You are going to get into confusion here. You will have to be very very available, understanding. You will have to put your expectations aside.
Sometimes the same methods are used, but for a different purpose. Here the whole purpose of all the therapy groups is not only psychological. I am not interested much in your psychology. If I have to work on it, it is only because you are stuck there. My whole interest is in your spirituality.
I work on your psychology so that you can be freed from the entanglements of your mind and you can become available to higher flights of spirit. I am not interested in the rocks, but I have to do something because rocks are hanging around your neck and they have to be dropped. Only then can you open your wings... and the flight from the alone to the alone can start.
Geet Govind just missed the whole point. And now, the way he is behaving, he himself is closing the door to his ever coming back to me. I am available and will remain available. I see some potential in the man, something is possible in him, but he is missing an opportunity just for having been here for a few days without understanding anything, without talking at all to me. And I had asked him thrice, "How are you feeling?" because I continuously had the feeling that his crying and weeping was superficial, that the surrender that he showed towards me was only on the surface, deep down he has a very egoistic attitude; sooner or later he would take revenge.
And that's what he is doing now - now he is taking revenge. Now he must be feeling very guilty that he cried and wept and touched my feet. Now he has to do something to satisfy his ego that all that was wrong, that "I was deluded", that "Forget all about it", that it was just an episode, that it doesn't matter much, that it doesn't mean much - "This is my reality - what I am doing now".
I feel sorry for the man. If he had been a little more open and vulnerable here, this duality would have dropped.
And this is my observation about him: that he needs crying, he needs surrender, not only from the surface but from the deepest core. But he didn't give an opportunity to me and to my people. We were trying to create the turmoil in him. He had to wrestle, but he escaped, and now he is wrestling there, alone. And it is not of much we.
... AFTER WRESTLING WITH HIMSELF FOR DAYS, HOWEVER, HE WENT TO THE NEAREST HOUSE OF ILL FAME AND PRESENTED THE MAN AT THE DOOR WITH ALL THE MONEY WHICH HE HAD.
Finally, the trust wins love. And when trust wins over without repressing the doubts, it has a truth in it.
"FOR SUCH A SUM OF MONEY," SAID THE DOORMAN, "I SHALL ALLOT YOU THE CHOICEST GEM OF OUR COLLECTION, AN UNTOUCHED WOMAN. "
AS SOON AS HE ENTERED THE ROOM, THE WOMAN THERE SAID, "I HAVE BEEN TRICKED INTO BEING IN THIS HOUSE, AND AM HELD HERE BY FORCE AND THREATS. IF YOUR SENSE OF JUSTICE IS STRONGER THAN YOUR REASON FOR COMING HERE, HELP ME TO ESCAPE."
THEN THE DISCIPLE KNEW THE MEANING OF THE POEM OF HAFEZ, "IF YOUR TEACHER BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM."
Trust knows how to obey. Trust only knows obedience. And through obedience, the ego slowly, slowly disappears. The question is between ego and egolessness. The Master's whole function is how to help you to die as an ego, and all kinds of means and methods have to be used.
Remember it. Don't escape too early. Give a chance to this alchemical lab. All kinds of turmoils will be created, deliberately created. All kinds of doubts will be provoked, deliberately provoked. You will be given absurd orders to be fulfilled.
Don't escape like Geet Govind. He has missed an opportunity. He may not come across such opportunity for many lives. It is still not too late; he can come. My doors are always open.
But one has to remember it: don't come here to be supported in your ego and your expectations.
Come here to die!
If you love me, I am going to kill you. And only when you are killed, one day, will you have the opportunity to kill me. And that day is the greatest day: when the Master and disciple both are killed - then only that which is, is left. God is in the Master, God is in the disciple.
When the disciple and the Master have both disappeared, only God is left. And that is the goal of Sufism, and that is the goal of all religions, and that is the goal for which we are working here.