I Declare Myself Bhagwan
The first question:
OSHO, THE NAVABHARAT TIMES OF OCTOBER 13TH CARRIED A NEWS ITEM FROM SURAT, GUJARAT, ACCORDING, TO WHICH THE PRIME MINISTER, MORARJI DESAI, SAID THAT HE HAD READ THE BOOK FROM SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS BY ACHARYA RAJNEESH AND FOUND IT INDECENT AND DISTASTEFUL. HE ALSO OBJECTED TO YOU BEING CALLED BHAGWAN. OSHO, WOULD YOU PLEASE COMMENT ON IT?
Anand Maitreya, sex is a natural phenomenon, as natural as a rose flower, or dewdrops on the grass leaves in the early morning. And it is the most beautiful phenomenon too, as beautiful as the calling of a cuckoo, as beautiful as the stars in the sky. But down the ages it has been condemned.
Condemning sex has been one of the most important strategies to dominate man. The moment you condemn sex you have condemned life itself. Life arises out of sex; life is an expression of sex. If you can find God anywhere, utterly present, it is the moment of sexual orgasm. But to condemn sex is a great strategy. Through it you condemn man indirectly; you poison his very source of being. And then he feels guilty, a sinner, worthless; and then it is easy to dominate him, it is easy to manipulate him, it is easy to exploit him - and that's what the politicians and the priests have been doing.
They don't want you to have freedom, they don't want you to enjoy life, because the man who is blissful is rebellious. The man who is enjoying his life cannot be easily dominated - it is very difficult to dominate him - and cannot easily be deceived, because he has clarity.
Shree Morarji Desai is a very repressed person as far as sex is concerned. Now, this seems very strange. My discourses have been collected in two hundred books, books on Vedanta, books on Tao, books on Yoga, books on Sufism, books on the Upanishadas, books on the Geeta, the Bible, the Tao Te Ching, but he has been reading only one book - FROM SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS.
An eighty-three-year-old man, has remained celibate for almost fifty years, why should he be interested in the book FROM SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS? Certainly he is not interested in superconsciousness, because I have written two hundred books on superconsciousness. His interest seems to be sex. That's how it happens.
I have read his autobiography. In his autobiography he remembers that when young he went to see the Mother of Shree Aurobindo Ashram. She was a beautiful woman. Before she came to Shree Aurobindo, she was an actress; she had grace and a charisma of her own. And she was moving deeply into spirituality. But what did Morarji Desai see in her? What he saw shows much about him, not about the Mother.
The Mother's disciples were coming to touch her feet, and sometimes a disciple would get so ecstatic just by touching her feet that he would start rolling, and sometimes his head would fall into the Mother's lap. And Morarji was horrified. He thought in his mind, "So that's why they are looking so ecstatic - just rolling in her lap. Her shapely, beautiful thighs." That's what he saw. He went away - "This is not spirituality. These people are sex obsessed. This is a vulgar expression of sexuality."
That's all that he saw in the Mother and the disciples; he could not see anything more.
And that was when he was young. Now fifty years have passed, and fifty years' constant repression of sex has become a wound in him. He is boiling within with sexuality.
When I read this question from Anand Maitreya I was reminded of a few stories I would like to tell you.
"It is an outrage the way those nudists are carrying on in that apartment," the old woman told the policeman when he answered her call. "I am ashamed."
The cop looked out of the window and could see nothing but a vast courtyard, a road, and an apartment building in the distance. "I can't see a thing," he shrugged.
"Of course you can't," the old woman replied. "But just have a look through these binoculars and you will see plenty. "
What he has seen in the book FROM SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS is nothing but his own mind reflected in it. There is nothing indecent, but the very idea of sex creates in his mind the feeling of indecency. Maybe the very word "sex" revives something in him that has been repressed, that he has been sitting upon. The very word must be creating a ripple. All those repressed feelings, instincts must be surfacing. That's why he thinks it is indecent. It depends on you.
There are people who go to Khajuraho and think it is indecent. It is not. It is one of the most beautiful and one of the most spiritual temples in the world. If you look into those stone statues, yes, there are both things present, those statues represent the lowest and the highest: they are from sex to superconsciousness. But the person who is obsessed with sex - and all repressive persons are obsessed - will not be able to see anything else other than the sex. He will miss the real point.
The real point is in the faces, in the eyes turned upward, in those beautiful faces in which orgasmic ecstasy has been sculptured. The stones have become sermons.
But it depends on how you have lived. Have you lived a life of affirmation? Then you will be able to see. If you have lived a life of negation, then it will be impossible for you to see.
An ancient Sufi parable:
Jalal, an old friend of Mulla Nasrudin's, called one day. The Mulla said, "I am delighted to see you after such a long time. I am just about to start on a round of visits, however. Come, walk with me, and we can talk."
"Lend me a decent robe," said Jalal, "because, as you see, I am not dressed for visiting. " Nasrudin lent him a very fine robe.
At the first house Nasrudin presented his friend. "This is my old companion, Jalal. But the robe he is wearing, that is mine! "
On their way to the next village, jalal said, "What a stupid thing to say!'The robe is mine'? Indeed!
Don't do it again. " Nasrudin promised.
When they were comfortably seated at the next house, Nasrudin said, "This is Jalal, an old friend, come to visit me. But the robe - the robe is his! "
As they left, Jalal was just as annoyed as before. "Why did you say that? Are you crazy?"
"I only wanted to make amends. Now we are quits."
"If you do not mind," said Jalal, slowly and carefully, "we shall not say any more about the robe."
At the third and final place of call, Nasrudin slid, "May I present Jalal, my friend. And the robe, the robe he is wearing.... But we must not say anything about the robe, must we?"
Once you are trying to repress a thought, it comes up again and again and again. Morarji Desai is not only obsessed with sex in this life, he will remain obsessed even in coming lives. His whole approach is unscientific, unnatural. He has not been able to understand what he is doing. He has not been able to see that, how can sex be indecent? Certainly he is not born out of a virgin mother. Certainly his children are born out of his sexual relationship with his wife. But because of his obsession he has even been very hard with his children.
One of his daughters committed suicide, and it is just because of his obsessively puritan mind. He has been hard upon himself and hard upon his children too.
The person who is obsessed with something unnatural is perverted. And through this obsession he has lost all intelligence. Intelligence grows out of being natural. Intelligence is a shadow of being natural and spontaneous. The perverted person is bound to become stupid because he is constantly fighting within himself. His whole energy becomes a kind of civil war. The person who is fighting nature is indecent, and the total outcome is stupidity.
I don't see any indecency in sex, because this is how God has chosen to create life. Sex is his method. Just as a painter paints with his brush, God has been creating this existence with sexual energy. To deny SeX, to condemn sex, is to condemn God. If you call sex indecent you are calling God indecent because this whole existence is nothing but an expression of sexual energy.
These birds chirping, singing, do you think they are praising Prime Minister Morarji Desai? This is sexual expression. The whole poetry of a life consists of sexual energy. The whole beauty.... What is beauty? The very feeling that something is beautiful comes out of sexual energy.
A woman looks beautiful to you. Why? Why does the call of the cuckoo from the mango grove sound beautiful to you? Why? It is, deep down, an expression of sex, love.
But the people like Morarji Desai live without love. In fact, a politician cannot afford to be loving. He cannot live, he cannot love, he cannot laugh.
I have heard a story about him. I don't know how far it is correct. It is a joke - and jokes need not be correct, but they are always true!
Morarji Desai was having his photograph taken by a press cameraman. The photographer had a lot of trouble trying to get his subject to pose properly. Eventually, after much bickering, he was about to take the picture.
"Look pleasant for a moment," said the photographer.
"Then you can resume your normal expression."
He cannot laugh; laughter must be indecent. He cannot take life playfully; playfulness must be indecent.
And this man has written a story on Krishna. Now the story is going to be filmed. Not that he is a great author, but just because he is the Prime Minister; so now the story is going to be filmed. I am puzzled, surprised, at what he must be thinking about Krishna. His whole life must be looking indecent to him because Krishna's whole life is love, playfulness, joy, celebration. What does Morarji Desai think about this incident in Krishna's life?
A few beautiful women were taking their bath in the Yamuna River. And this is not a story of today.
It is a story from when India used to be alive, five thousand years ago, when India used to be really vibrant, when people were courageous enough to love and laugh and dance, when people were not life negative; but when life was thought to be God and divine and people were not talking about life as if it is indecent.
Krishna passed by. The women were taking their bath naked in the Yamuna River. Now no Indian woman will do it. Those days were beautiful; people were more open. Now this can happen only in my ashram, nowhere else. Krishna is still alive here.
Krishna saw those beautiful women swimming and floating in the water and enjoying, and they were completely unaware of the presence of Krishna. He gathered their clothes, which were on the bank, and climbed a tree and sat there. When they were finished, those women looked around; their clothes were gone. They started searching; then they saw Krishna sitting in the tree with all the clothes with him.
Now what does Morarji Desai think about this? Certainly I have never done anything like that!
Krishna must look very indecent.
It is not that Krishna is indecent. It is just Morarji Desai's sexual perversion.
And he says that he found it distasteful. That too is strange. A man who goes on drinking his own urine, and has not yet found it distasteful.... And I am certainly certain that he does not suffer from diabetes - otherwise the urine may have a little sweetness.
He found the book distasteful? What taste has he got? What is he talking about? What aesthetic sense has he got? He is the most unpoetic person alive in this country.
I have heard...
A gypsy and a hippie had an argument as to who could withstand foul smell longer. They decided to remain with a skunk in a small pen. First the gypsy went in. He ran out in desperation after a couple of minutes. Then the hippie took his turn.
After a minute, the skunk bolted!
The gypsy was puzzled. He said, "How did you manage?"
The hippie said, "I am a follower of Morarji Desai. I live only on garlic and water of life."
"Water of life" is a euphemism for your own urine.
This man thinks that my book is distasteful? He is simply saying something about himself, not about the book. It always depends on you, how you interpret what you read. He must have read my book, but he must have understood in his own way, he must have interpreted it in his own way. The interpretation is indecent. What he has read into it is his own mind.
If an ugly man faces a mirror, the mirror cannot be blamed for his ugliness. And calling the mirror ugly won't do.
The book FROM SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS must have functioned as a mirror. He must have become agitated because if that book is right, then his whole life has been stupid and wasted stupidly. He must have felt very antagonistic, hurt in his ego. His whole life he has been struggling with sex, fighting with sex, and now here I am saying that without a deep experience of sex you will never know love, and without a deep experience of love you will never know prayer. And here I am saying that sex is the first experience of God. And here I am saying that without moving into life with totality you will never come to know the innermost core of it.
Nothing has to be denied, because whatsoever is denied will take its revenge. That's what is happening to him. He is not angry at me; he is angry at a mirror because the mirror is showing his face.
I have heard, a very rich woman, but very ugly too, asked a great painter, Goya, to make a portrait of her. Goya was hesitant, he wanted to say no, but it was difficult. The woman was ready to pay any price. He asked a very fantastic price, thinking that she would say no and he could get out of it and there would be no need to paint this woman's face, but she said, "Yes, you start. " So he painted the portrait; it was just a blob of colors. When the woman came, she said, "What? You have not done a good job. Is this my portrait?" He said, "What can I do, madam? I wanted to get out of it. Nature has not done a good job. What can I do? I cannot improve upon nature. I am here just to paint you as you are. That's why I was very reluctant. I am just a mirror."
I have received thousands of letters, from all kinds of people, that they have been immensely benefited by the same book that Morarji Desai says is indecent. But sex is on his mind too much.
A monk consulted a psychiatrist for help with various problems. The analyst said, "Stretch out here on the couch. Just relax and tell me about your early life. Just keep on talking. Say anything that comes to mind. "
The monk proceeded to spill out his life story. Suddenly the analyst took out a big balloon and sitting behind the patient, blew it up to full size. Then he stuck a pin in it. The balloon burst with a loud crash. The patient was startled. The doctor said sharply, "Now tell me, quick, what did you think about when you heard the loud explosion?"
"I thought of sex. "
"Sex? At such a moment? You thought about sex?"
"Well," said the patient, "what is so surprising about that? It is all I ever think about."
A monk is a monk, and a monk always thinks about sex. The more he escapes from the world and its reality, the more and more he fantasizes about it.
Morarji Desai has remained a monk. He has not known the beauties of existence, and he is angry with me because my very presence makes him aware that his life has been a wastage.
And the second thing you say, "He also objected to you being called Bhagwan."
I am Bhagwan, just as you are Bhagwan. Even Morarji Desai is a Bhagwan. Bhagwan does not mean somebody sitting there high in the heavens. Bhagwan simply means that which is hidden behind you, within you, that which you are. I am Bhagwan because I have recognized it.
I am not calling myself Bhagwan. I am.
You are also, but you have not yet gathered courage to recognize the fact. It needs guts to recognize your reality. It needs utter humbleness to see things as they are. It needs simplicity of the heart to say things as they are.
Morarji Desai is also a Bhagwan, just as everything else is, trees and rocks and animals. God is not separate from existence; God is immanent in it. Only God is. If only God is, then I am God, then you are God, then everything is divine. But God can be fast asleep; that's how Morarji Desai is: a god fast asleep, dreaming that he has become the Prime Minister, snoring.
But it is very difficult to wake up when you are a prime minister because then one is afraid - if one wakes up and finds that it was only a dream.... One has invested in the dream too much.
"I had a dream the other night, Casey, an' it taught me a great lesson."
"Bedad, an' what was the lisson, Pat?"
"'Twas like this. I dreamed I wuz in Rome, an' I had a audience with the Pope - as great a gentleman as any in the district, an' thot's no lie. Would I have a drink, he axed me. Thinks I, would a duck swim, an' seein' the whiskey an' lemons an'sugar on the sideboard, I told him I wouldn't mind if I had a wee drop of punch.'Cold or hot?' asked His Riv'rence.'Hot, Yer Holiness,' says I. Ah, what a mistake I made! "
"I don't see anything wrong - "
"Ah, but listen, boy. His Holiness stepped toward the kitchen for the b'ilin water, and before he got back, I woke up. Nex' time, I'll say, I'll take it cold Yer Holiness, while the water's a-gettin' hot! "
When you have a dream, a sweet dream, it is very difficult to listen to people who are shouting, "Wake up!" That's why it is very difficult for people who have succeeded in life to wake up. Their very success becomes their curse, They think they are doing perfectly well.
Have you not watched it in your dreams? If you are having a sweet dream it continues; if you are having a nightmare it wakes you up. If somebody is going to kill you and is just chasing you with a bayonet, a moment comes when you simply wake up, perspiring of course, but you wake up. A nightmare is good in that sense, that it wakes you up. But if you are having a beautiful dream - you are Krishna, and all the beautiful women of the world are dancing around you like your gopis, girlfriends - who wants to wake up? One only hopes that this dream continues.
Morarji Desai is also as divine as I am, but God is fast asleep and snoring.
Why should he be angry if I am being called Bhagwan? What has that to do with him? But many people are angry, and the anger has some reason in it. The reason is that if somebody is awakened, his very presence disturbs your sleep. You cannot sleep as comfortably as before. Somebody is awakened, so all that you are going into is a dream? You start feeling annoyed with the person who is awake. You start finding reasons that he must be wrong - "Why does he call himself God?"
And that too from an Indian looks very absurd. It's okay if Christians, Mohammedans, and Jews raise the question why I call myself God, because they have no insight into the phenomenon as deeply as it has happened in this country. Buddha never believed in God, never, but still we called him Bhagwan. Mahavira never believed in God; still we have called him Bhagwan. So "Bhagwan"
cannot be translated as "God".
God is the creator of the world - and certainly I have not created this world. I cannot take that responsibility, excuse me! I am not God in the Christian sense.
But Morarji Desai is not a Christian. One can expect that he should understand that Bhagwan in the East does not mean God. Bhagwan means "the blessed one" - and I declare myself the blessed one. It simply means that I have been blessed; that I have come to a point where I am utterly content; that I have come to a state where I don't desire anything anymore, there is nothing to be desired, all is available; that I have come to a state where mind is dissolved and I am one with existence. This is the state of the blessed one.
Bhagwan simply means one who has disappeared as a person and has become a presence. That's why we could call Buddha Bhagwan, although he never believed in God the Creator.
And there are people, like Morarji Desai, whose anger is this: that I have declared it myself, that I am a self-appointed Bhagwan. But how else can it be? How can it be otherwise? Who can appoint me Bhagwan? Buddha declared himself; he was self-appointed, not that there was a committee or a university senate or there was a vote in the country.
Politicians can't think of anything else other than votes. He must be thinking who has voted for me, how am I Bhagwan, how many people have voted for and how many against.
Who had voted for Krishna? Who had voted for Mahavira and Buddha? Who had voted for Christ?
If Christ's godhood depended on votes, he would have lost his deposit! He had not more than a hundred disciples, not more than that. And the real disciples were only twelve; the others were just sympathizers. How did Jesus become Christ? Who appointed him? How did Krishna declare, "I am that"? How did Buddha declare, "I have arrived"? They were all self-appointed. There is no other way.
I have declared myself God. This is the only possible way, because when I have become blessed, when I have known the ultimate joy of experience, of existence, when I have seen truth, who else is needed to certify it? Do I need a character certificate from the politicians? I have declared it. There is nothing wrong, because that is the only way! If you have known love, only you can say that you have known love.
I have known the ultimate samadhi, and only I can say it. And only a few people, who have attained to that, will be able to recognize it.
Morarji Desai is simply saying that he cannot recognize it. But who is expecting him to recognize it?
He has not known anything of meditation.
Just on the day he became Prime Minister, somebody asked him, "Are all your desires fulfilled?"
He said, "No, one desire is still there. I want to know God." The man said, "Then have you ever meditated?" - a journalist must have asked. And Morarji Desai said, "I have not done anything like meditation, although Acharya Rajneesh has given me a meditation. But I could not do it, because I am too old and I cannot do such a vigorous meditation as he suggested. "
Now, he is not too old to become the Prime Minister of a country like India, which has only problems and problems and problems and nothing else. And he is ten years older now than when I had talked to him and given him a meditation. Then he was only seventy-three, now he is eighty-three, but he says he is too old to meditate. But he is not too old to become a prime minister of a country and to take the whole burden of it.
Rationalization and nothing else. If you don't want to meditate you can always find reasons.
Whatsoever you want to do, you are ready to do it. He goes on running from one country to another country, he goes on traveling all over the country, he goes on fighting with other politicians, quarreling, and everything is done perfectly well; he has enough energy for all that. Just for meditation, no energy. And this is a twenty-four-hour job that he is doing, and meditation was to be done only for one hour. But he says he is too old for meditation.
He has not known anything of meditation; how can he know anything of what has happened in me, to me?
Yes, I declare myself Bhagwan - because I declare this whole world is Bhagwan. This whole world is blessed. If you don't recognize the blessings that are being showered on you by existence, that is your responsibility; nobody else is responsible for it. I am open to all the blessings. That's all I mean when I say I am Bhagwan - that I have no barriers, that I am in a state of let-go, that I am utterly open. Whatsoever existence wants me to do I will do, and whatsoever the existence does not want me to do I will not do. I am utterly annihilated. Fana fi'llah: I am absorbed in God, in this totality; that's what I mean by the word "God". And the moment this happened, fana fi'llah, I became baka bi'llah, I became suddenly all. I am in the shape of the tree. I am in the rays of the sun. Just as I am in this body, I am in you too.
Now, this is my experience. I don' t need any witnesses for it. Even if the whole world says it is not so, it is still so. It does not depend on you or your votes.
But the politicians can't think of anything else; they only think of votes.
But why should he be puzzled, worried about me? He goes on constantly talking about me, as if I am haunting him.
He does not know what has happened to me and what can happen to him. But he has read scriptures, he can quote scriptures; but all that that he quotes is utterly borrowed! It is not his own.
A lady who owned a very intelligent parrot one day discovered a leaky pipe in her kitchen. She called the plumber, but before he arrived she had to leave the house momentarily on an errand. During her absence the plumber came along and rang the doorbell.
"Who is it?" called the parrot.
"It is the plumber," he said.
"Who is it?" repeated the parrot.
"It is the plumber!" he shouted.
"Who is it?" said the parrot.
"It is the PLUMBER! It is the PLUMBER! " he screamed, and in his frustration he collapsed right on the doorstep with a heart attack.
On returning home, the lady found him lying there. "Good heavens," she said. "Who is it?"
"It is the plumber," said the parrot.
What Morarji Desai knows about scriptures is just parrot-like.
What I am saying to you has arisen in me. I am a witness to Buddha and to Krishna and to Christ and to Zarathustra and to Lao Tzu and to all those who have become awakened.
But his anger has, deep down, another reason too. Indira Gandhi has always liked my thoughts; she has always been in a kind of love towards my way of thinking. That is the deep root of why he is angry with me. Indira has the intelligence to understand me, more than he has, and Indira has a kind of receptivity and grace, and Indira also has guts and the courage to take some revolutionary steps - which are utterly needed.
It is because of her revolutionary steps that she lost the last elections. The masses behave in a very suicidal way. The logic has to be understood.
The masses are suffering because of a certain conditioning. It is because of a certain mind that India has that India has suffered in the past and is suffering now. Now, anything to change the situation, to change this suffering, will basically need a change in the conditioning of the masses.
That is the problem. Everybody wants to get out of this suffering state, this continuous starvation.
People are ill, hungry, dying, but if anything can change this situation, the first requirement will be that we change our ways of thinking. And that is difficult for the masses.
They have lived with a certain kind of mind, they have cherished that mind for centuries, and they are utterly unaware that their mind is the cause of their suffering. They want to change the outer situation, but they are unaware that the outer situation exists in a certain collaboration with their inner mind. So whenever somebody wants to change the outer situation, their inner mind is going to be hurt and wounded, and they will not be able to forgive such a person. That's what happened to Indira.
She really tried. She has been the most courageous prime minister that India had in these past three decades. That was the problem, that she started doing something really significant. But then the masses were angry: their traditions were broken, their conditionings were broken.
The masses were angry, and the politicians, the opportunists of this country exploited the situation.
But they have not been able to do anything - they cannot do - because if they want to keep the masses satisfied they have to agree with the mind, and if you agree with the mind you cannot change the situation. This is the dilemma. The masses will vote only for those people who follow the mind of the masses, but then those people cannot do a thing; they will be utterly impotent.
That's what has happened to Morarji Desai and his government. It is utterly impotent. It has not been able to do a single thing. It cannot do! And the reason is - the next election is coming close by every day - if you do something that goes against the grain, you will be defeated. They know perfectly well how they have come into power: they have come into power because Indira tried to do something really revolutionary.
She was trying to impose compulsory birth control on the country. That is the only way it can be done. You cannot persuade the people, and if you persuade, it will take thousands of years to persuade them, and by that time there will be no point. In fact, this country has to have birth control within twenty-five years, otherwise it is doomed; by the end of this century it will not be possible for this country to exist at all. Everybody will be hungry and starving and ill, there will be no space left.
Things are in such a state that they can only be done compulsorily. Birth control is the only way to prevent this population from growing, and if you wait for the masses to understand and if you wait for them to be educated, then it is not going to happen, ever.
That's what angered Indians. Hindus, Mohammedans, everybody was angered. They thought their freedom was being taken away.
It is not a question of freedom or no freedom now. It is a question of life and death! The country is moving every day towards the abyss. Things are becoming more and more ugly every day.
Indira tried in every possible way to speed up things. In India a bureaucracy exists which is only skillful in delaying things. In no other country does red-tapeism exist as much as it does in India. If you want to do a small thing it will take years. The bureaucracy is so long and it moves so slowly, with an ant's pace. Indira was capable of seeing that if this goes on, nothing is possible. Hence the bureaucracy became angry. Nobody wants to work, and Indira was forcing them to work.
The masses became angry because things were going against their mind. They have always enjoyed many children, and they think this is a gift of God. Now this is a curse, no more a gift!
Everybody boasts: "How many children I have got!" It is thought to be very manly to have many children - you are very productive. India knows only one kind of creativity! Nobody asks how many poems you have written, nobody asks how many paintings you have done, nobody asks such things; everybody asks, "How many children?" And when you can say, "Two dozen," you are simply fantastic, great. That has been the only boast of the Indian male chauvinist. Now, he was very much hurt.
And then, the bureaucracy was angry. They all joined together, and all kinds of opportunists.
All Indian political parties dropped their differences. Their differences are vast. They all dropped their differences because the real point always is how to attain to power. Who bothers about ideologies?
They dropped all their ideologies; they have all gathered under the wing of Morarji Desai. Now this Morarji Desai and his party have no ideology, no plan. They simply want to be in power.
And if you simply want to be in power, then you have to satisfy the masses the way they want to be satisfied - although their satisfactions are going to be suicidal. But who cares? Morarji Desai can remain the Prime Minister for at least five years; that is the real thing. Who bothers what is going to happen next century? That is not their business. Certainly Morarji Desai is not going to survive that long even if he goes on drinking water of life. That is not his business. His whole business is how to remain in power.
He knows my attitude. I need this country to go through a great revolution. Indira is capable of it, Indira has all my blessings. That is the deep cause of why he is angry.
I am really happy that Indira Gandhi is trying to contest again, to enter the Parliament. Once she is in the Parliament, it will not be too long that she remains out of power. It will be good that she be back in the Parliament. She is the only ray of hope, because she has guts. She can do things; she can risk. That's what has happened: she risked all in trying to solve the problems that India is facing. She risked her Prime Ministership, she risked her life.
Because Morarji Desai knows this, he is, deep down, angry with me. His anger can be understood.
But he should say it directly. No need to beat around the bush. Say it directly. For that, you need not bring sex in; that is an indirect way, a cunning way, because he knows the Indian mind is very repressive: bring sex in, and the Indian masses are always with you - condemn sex and they are with you. Condemn life and they are with you, because that's how they have been conditioned for centuries.
And the Indian masses are very much against anybody declaring himself Bhagwan because then a great competition arises. This has always been so. Mohammedans don't want anybody to declare that he is the prophet of God. Why? Because if he is the prophet of God, then he is the latest prophet of God: then Mohammed is just an antique model. Then Mohammed can be discarded. So they have decided that there will no more be any prophet of God; Mohammed is the last.
Why? Has God gone bankrupt since then? Has he abandoned humanity since then? Has he nothing to say to humanity again? He stopped with Mohammed? Why? Why didn't he stop before?
For Christians he stopped before, with Christ; he is the only begotten son. But why didn't he stop before Christ? He stopped for the Jainas, he stopped with Mahavira; he is the last teerthankara.
And so on, so forth. Each religion wants his prophet, his teerthankara, his messiah, his godman, to be the last. So whenever somebody becomes the blessed one and declares it, all other religions will be against him.
Now Christians are angry with me: I must be a false prophet, the devil incarnate, because Christ is the true Master. Jainas are against me because there is no possibility of anybody else becoming a teerthankara.
I was born as a Jaina. The day I said I am the twenty-fifth teerthankara, they became angry. They said, "Twenty-fifth? But there is no mention of the twenty-fifth in the scriptures. " So I said, "We will write the scriptures again. How can they mention the twenty-fifth? The scriptures were written when the twenty-fourth was alive. Now we will write about the twenty-fifth - and I will make it a point that the twenty-sixth and twenty-seventh and so on, so forth, will be coming. God is not finished with me.
How can God be finished? God is creativity. He will go on creating more and more Buddhas. They will be coming, they will be coming forever and ever.
So Morarji Desai brings in two things. The real thing he hides. Hmm? That is the way of a politician.
But he brings in two other things, an indirect attack on me. First, he brings in sex. That is very easy to influence Indian masses with. Just to tell them that this man supports sex, is not against sex, is enough, enough condemnation: then he is against God, then he is irreligious, then he is materialist, he is earthy, and he is dangerous. Just mention one thing, that he is not unfavorable to the phenomenon of sex, and you have condemned him; now no other proof is needed.
And then he brings in the second thing: Why does this man call himself God, or is called God by his disciples?
Don't blame my disciples. I call myself God. How can they call me God? What do they know about God? I take the total responsibility on my own.
That will anger Hindus because they will think, "So this man is trying to compete with our Rama and Krishna." And that will anger Jainas because they will think, "He is trying to compete with our Mahavira and Adinath." And this will anger Mohammedans and Christians and Parsees and Sikhas - and this will anger almost everybody in India!
But I don't care.
The second question:
SHREE BHAGWAN, I WANT TO KNOW THE MEANING OF AUM.
M. D. Rajen, this is a very significant question.
First, AUM is not a word, it is a pure sound, so it has no meaning as such. It is a pure sound, like the sound of a waterfall; what meaning has it? - no meaning at all. Or the sound of this aeroplane passing by; what meaning has it? - no meaning at all. The sound becomes a word when meaning becomes attached to it. A meaningful sound is a word; a meaningless word is a sound. So the first thing to be understood: AUM is not a word, it is pure sound. All other words have arisen out of it, but it itself is not a word. It is the source of all sounds; it cannot have any meaning whatsoever.
This sound AUM consists of three sounds: A, U, M. These are the seed sounds; all other sounds are created by A,U,M. All our words, the whole alphabet, is created by these three seed sounds:
A,U,M. AUM is the source of all these three.
That's why in India AUM is not written alphabetically. It has a symbol of its own. That is simply to designate: don't be confused and don't try to think about AUM as a word. AUM is the only sound in India which is not written alphabetically. It is written pictorially; it has a picture, a symbol, which is outside the alphabet. These are symbolic things. It has been kept outside the alphabet because it is the source. The source is always out, beyond, transcendental.
AUM consists of three sounds and one anuswar. Anuswar is a very subtle sound; it represents a kind of humming. When you say, "AU", that M prolonged, that humming sound that goes on reverberating, is the anuswar. Anuswar means just a dot; that too represents something. So AUM consists of four things: three visible, A,U,M, and the fourth invisible the rhythmic, humming shadow.
These four represent the whole of Indian metaphysics. "A" represents one state of the mind, when you are awake, the waking consciousness. "U" represents when you are dreaming, the dreaming consciousness. "M" represents when you are fast asleep, dreamlessly asleep - sushupti - deep, profound dreamless sleep. These are the three states of the human mind, human consciousness.
And the anuswar, the dot - that humming sound that goes on reverberating - that represents the fourth, turiya, the transcendental state when you are neither asleep nor awake nor dreaming, when you are just a witness to all that is happening: the state of a Buddha or a Christ, the state where I am, where one can declare oneself Bhagwan.
Turiya. The word "turiya" also means "the fourth", simply "the fourth". It has no other name, because it cannot be named. It is beyond names. This has to be understood first.
And then the second thing: when you have reached the fourth state, turiya, when there is nothing but a melody heard, the celestial music - what Pythagoras has called the music of the heavens, the music of the stars, the music that is the very undercurrent of existence - when you have reached the fourth state of awakening, awareness, Buddhahood, you hear a music, a music which is not produced by any instrument.
Let me remind you of the Zen Masters who tell their disciples to find the sound of one hand clapping.
That is the music: one hand clapping. That is found only in the fourth. Why one hand clapping?
You cannot produce music by one hand clapping; the clapping needs the other. Two are needed to tango, two are needed to clash, two are needed to create something. If a child is born, then two are needed, man and woman. Two are needed everywhere. Electricity needs the positive and the negative. Even life needs death as the opposite. So if you look into life, everything is dual; two are needed.
But beyond the two there is also a state, the transcendental, where two are not needed. It is called anahat naad: unstruck sound, one hand clapping. That sound is the very nature of existence.
Existence is a subtle music - but it is heard only when you have reached the fourth state, when all thoughts have disappeared, where all unconsciousness has disappeared, where you are nothing but a pure mirror, mirroring nothing. Then suddenly explodes a melody.
That melody is called AUM. It is not a mantra, as you have been told. Please never use AUM as a mantra; don't go on repeating, "AUM, AUM, AUM.... " If you repeat it you will miss something; you will become habitual.
A man fell from a ten-story building. A professor was passing by with his student. Of course he must have been a professor of philosophy; he asked the student, "Look at the situation. The man has fallen from ten stories and he has not been hurt. What do you call it?"
The student said, "It is coincidence."
The professor said, "Now, if he goes back again to the tenth story and falls and is not hurt, then what will you call it?"
The student said, "That will be fate. Once, it is coincidence, but if he goes again and falls, that will be fate." And the professor said, "Okay. If he goes again, the third time, and falls from the tenth story, what will you call it?"
The student said, "Sir, then it will be habit. What else can it be?"
If you repeat AUM continuously, year in and year out, it will become your habit. It will become a subtle layer around you; it will prevent you from hearing the real AUM. The real AUM cannot be produced by you.
That's why I am against the so-called transcendental meditation of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. It is very destructive. It is a lullaby; it only gives you good sleep, at the most. It can't awaken you. It can cool you, it can give you a little calmness; it is good for people who are suffering from nervousness, tension, anxiety. It is a psychological device, it is a psychological drug - a non-medicinal tranquilizer.
But it is not meditation, no. It is neither meditation nor transcendental; it is not at all. It simply soothes you, consoles you, helps you to go into good sleep.
And it is not accidental that America has become very much interested in the so-called transcendental meditation of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, because America is suffering tremendously from insomnia. People have lost their sleep. They want sleep at any cost; they are ready to try anything. And transcendental meditation can help you to have a good sleep.
But meditation is just the opposite. Meditation is waking up. It is not a lullaby, it is diametrically the opposite. It is a shock, it shatters your sleep and your dreams. If you are a beggar, you are no more a beggar; it shatters the idea of your beggarhood. If you are a prime minister, you are no more a prime minister; it shatters your illusion of being a prime minister. It shatters all identities. It simply reveals one fact, that you are God. It only reveals your reality and takes all illusions away.
AUM is not a mantra. So, Rajen, don't use it as a mantra. It is a scientific formula, just like H2O.
H2O is not water. You can go on repeating - when you are feeling thirsty you can sit and go on repeating - "H2O, H2O" - you can make a mantra out of it, and it may help you to fall asleep. Try, and you will be surprised: H2O can do the same as any mantra. Just try, "H2O, H2O" - sway with it - H2O, H2O - go on, go on, faster and faster and faster - and soon you will be transported into deep sleep.
And when you awake, you will feel fresh, certainly fresh, but you will still be thirsty. It can't help your thirst, it can't quench you. And not that the formula is wrong, but a formula is not a mantra.
AUM is the H2O of the spiritual transformation. It has all the secrets in it, but it is not something to be repeated. It has to be understood, so understand these things. First, AUM is not a word; it is a pure sound, the purest, the ultimate sound of existence. When all is gone, that sound remains. That is the sound of soundlessness, the sound of silence.
And, symbolically, AUM represents your waking consciousness, your dreaming consciousness, your sleeping consciousness, and the beyond - the turiya - the fourth state, where one becomes Bhagwan, where one becomes Christ, Buddha, where one is one with totality. It is a tremendously important formula; it contains the whole metaphysics of the East. But it is not a mantra. Please never repeat it. Repeating won't help; it will deceive you. Try to understand it, and then start becoming more and more aware of your waking consciousness. Walking on the road, walk with full awareness, knowing that you are walking. Then slowly, slowly transform every act into awareness.
De-automatize every act.
A man came to me. He had been suffering from chain-smoking for thirty years; he was ill and the doctors said, "You will never be healthy if you don't stop smoking. " But he was a chronic smoker; he could not help it. He had tried - not that he had not tried - he had tried hard, and he had suffered much in trying, but one day or two days, and then again the urge would come so tremendously, it would simply take him away. Again he would fall into the same pattern.
Because of this smoking he had lost all self-confidence: he knows he cannot do a small thing; he cannot stop smoking. He had become worthless in his own eyes; he thought himself just the most worthless person in the world. He had no respect for himself.
He came to me; he said, "What can I do? How can I stop smoking?" I said, "Nobody can stop smoking. You have to understand. Smoking is not only a question of your decision now. It has entered into your world of habits, it has taken roots. Thirty years is a long time. It has taken roots in your body, in your chemistry, it has spread all over. It is not just a question of your head deciding; your head cannot do anything. The head is impotent; it can start things, but it cannot stop so easily.
Once you have started and once you have practiced so long, you are a great yogi - thirty years' practicing smoking. It has become autonomous; you will have to de-automatize it. " He said, "What do you mean by 'de-automatization'?"
And that's what meditation is all about: de-automatization.
I said, "You do one thing: forget about stopping. There is no need either. For thirty years you have smoked and lived; of course it was a suffering, but you have become accustomed to that too. And what does it matter if you die a few hours earlier than you would have died without smoking? What are you going to do here? What have you done? So what is the point - whether you die Monday or Tuesday or Sunday, this year, that year - what does it matter?"
He said, "Yes, that is true, it doesn't matter." Then I said, "Forget about it; we are not going to stop it at all. Rather, we are going to understand it. So next time, you make it a meditation. "
He said, "Meditation out of smoking?" I said, "Yes. If Zen people can make meditation out of drinking tea, and can make it a ceremony, why not? Smoking can be as beautiful a meditation. "
He looked thrilled. He said, "What are you saying?" He became alive! He said, "Meditation? Just tell me - I cannot wait! "
I gave him the meditation. I said, "Do one thing. When you take the packet out of your pocket, for a moment go slowly. When you are taking the packet of cigarettes out of your pocket move slowly. Enjoy it, there is no hurry. Be conscious, alert, aware; take it out slowly, with full awareness.
Then take the cigarette out of the packet with full awareness, slowly - not in the old hurried way, unconscious way, mechanical way. Then start tapping the cigarette on your packet - but very alertly.
Listen to the sound, just as Zen people do when the samovar starts singing and the tea starts boiling, and the aroma. Then smell the cigarette and the beauty of it.... "
He said, "What are you saying? The beauty?" "Yes, it is beautiful. Tobacco is as divine as anything.
Even Morarji Desai is divine, so why not tobacco? Smell it; it is God's smell."
He looked a little surprised. He said, "What, are you joking?" "No, I am not joking."
Even when I joke, I don't joke. I am very serious.
"Then put it in your mouth, with full awareness, light it with full awareness. Enjoy every act, small act, and divide it into as many small acts as possible, so you can become more and more aware.
"Then have the first puff: God in the form of smoke. Hindus say,'annam brahm' - ' Food is God.' Why not smoke? All is God. Fill your lungs deeply - this is a pranayam. I am giving you the new yoga for the new age! Then release the smoke, relax, another puff... and go very slowly.
"If you can do it, you will be surprised, soon you will see the whole stupidity of it. Not because others have said that it is stupid, not because others have said that it is bad: you will see it. And the seeing will not be just intellectual. It will be from your total being, it will be a vision of your totality. And then, one day, if it drops, it drops; if it continues, it continues. You need not worry about it. "
After three months he came, and he said, "But it dropped."
"Now, " I said, "try it on other things too. "
This is the secret, the secret: de-automatize. Walking, walk slowly, watchfully. Looking, look watchfully, and you will see trees are greener than they have ever been and roses are rosier than they have ever been. Listen. Somebody is talking, gossiping: listen, listen attentively. When you are talking, talk attentively. Let your whole waking activity become de-automatized, and then you will be surprised, the moment it happens, your dream activity will have a new perspective. You will start becoming aware in your dream.
Then start watching your dreams. That is a miracle when it happens. When you start watching your dreams you are really a totally different person. Then the dreams have no impact on you. Watching your dreams, one day dreams disappear; you have de-automatized your dreaming process. And then you will be able to watch your dreamless sleep: yoU are asleep, and you are still awake. The whole body sleeping, every cell of it relaxed, the whole mechanism silent - and you are watching there, a silent witness.
When this third has happened, the fourth arises on its own: the humming sound. You are full of a new music. That music is God.