Your existence is just a carbon copy

Question 1:

Anand Sadhyo, love that comes and goes is only a reflection of the real love. A full moon reflected in the lake looks exactly like the moon, but the reflection can be disturbed very easily by a small wind.

It shatters into thousands of pieces of silver all over the lake, and as the lake settles back, it again appears as the moon.

But the real moon in the sky is not disturbed by winds, by seasons, by anything. It is even there in the day, although you cannot see it because the sunlight is too bright.

Love is in the exact same situation. Real love is just to be love; it is not a relationship, it is your state of being. It has nothing to do with anybody, you are simply full of love. Many can share it; those who are thirsty can quench their thirst.

This state of being love is the ultimate peak of consciousness, called the awakened state or the enlightened state, the state of a Gautam Buddha. He does not love - he is love. He is doing nothing on his part - just his presence radiates love. This love is not addressed to anyone in particular, just as the sunrays are not addressed to any particular flower, any particular tree. It reaches all those who are available to receive it.

Love as a state of being is only an availability. You can take as much as you can contain; it is abundant, overflowing. A man in this state, even if he is sitting alone, goes on radiating love. This love is reflected in many kinds of love, but those are only reflections.

"The love between man and woman - active, sensual, and playful; the love between master and disciple - passive, cool and silent"; the love between friends: it can have many manifestations, but they are always changing. They have to change, because they are only reflections, shadows, and in their wake they bring much misery.

When the moon is reflected in the lake, there is joy, there is beauty; and when it is shattered by the wind, or just by a small pebble thrown into the lake, it is all gone - shattered. And you know in your experience that your love relationships with friends, with husbands, with wives, with masters, are all very fragile. Any small thing and the whole love disappears. Not only does it disappear, it changes into its opposite. Friends become enemies; husband and wife need not become enemies because they are already enemies; disciples betray their masters. There are always Judases who can sell their masters.

We are acquainted with all these loves; they are all conditional. Even the love of parents for their children is conditional: if you obey them, if you are not a rebel, if you are going to become what they want you to become, you will be loved; but if you go on your own way - parents even abandon their children, disinherit their children.

But these reflections indicate that there must be a reality which is reflected. Without something real, there cannot be any reflections.

In the enlightened man, love becomes his very nature, his very breath, his very heartbeat. Wherever he is, he goes on showering his love. It is unconditional - it does not ask anything from you, hence it cannot be disturbed. And unless you know this love, you have only been dreaming about love. All those reflections are nothing but dreams, and they bring great misery, anxiety, anguish. In between they give you a few moments of joy - those moments are nothing but consolations.

Authentic love is a tremendous contentment in yourself; it is a settling of your energies at the center of your being. This centeredness brings an alchemical change to your energies. Then wherever you are - with the trees, with the ocean, with the mountains, with the stars, with people, with animals, with birds - you cannot do anything, love simply radiates from you. It is your very life. You cannot prevent it. Preventing it will be committing suicide.

From your so-called love affairs, learn only one thing: that there must be something authentic and real and eternal which is reflected in the mirrors of your relationships. Unless you know that love, you will suffer much, and you will gain nothing. And it can be known because it is your intrinsic capacity; you are born with the seed. You just have to take a little care with it, and it will start growing. Soon you will be full of flowers - the spring has come. And once it comes, it never goes. To the very last moment it remains there.

A very beautiful story is told about Gautam Buddha. He informed his disciples that on a particular day, the coming full moon night, he was going to die. As the full moon disappeared, he would also disappear.

It is a rare coincidence that Gautam Buddha was born on a full moon night, he became enlightened on a full moon night, and he died on a full moon night.

Thousands of his disciples rushed from all over the place just to see him for the last time. There was great sadness, but people were holding back their tears, not to make his departure difficult. And Buddha asked, "If you have any questions - because tomorrow I will not be here - if in your heart there is some question still which you have not exposed, just ask me. Before I leave I want all my disciples to be completely alert, without any questions. I want my disciples to become answers, not questions."

Nobody said anything. Only Ananda said, "You have answered us for forty-two years continually, day in, day out - we don't have any questions. We have come just to be near you when you dissolve into the universal consciousness.

"We have heard from the ancient days, that whenever an enlightened man dies, as he leaves his body, his consciousness spreads all over the universe. We want to be close to you just to have a taste of your consciousness."

And at that moment Buddha said, "Okay, then I say goodbye to you. I will die in four steps. First I will leave my body; then I will leave my mind; then I will leave my heart; and in the fourth, the turiya, I will dissolve into the ocean of existence."

He closed his eyes, and just that very moment a man came running and he said, "I have to ask something. For thirty years I have been postponing it. Buddha has been coming to my town many times in these thirty years, and I have always thought that this time I am going to see him and ask my question. But something or other... and I went on postponing. Just human stupidity - a guest has come, I was engaged with customers, there was a marriage ceremony I had to participate in.

So I went on postponing, thinking that there is no hurry, that when he comes next time, then I will ask. But sometimes my wife was sick, sometimes I was sick... and these thirty years have passed.

Just now I heard that Buddha is dying. Now I cannot postpone. No reason can prevent me."

But Ananda said, "You have come a little late. He has begun his inner journey; he has already moved two steps: we can see his body has become utterly silent, and as far as dropping the mind...

it is just an empty mind, he must have dropped it. It may take a little while for him to drop the heart, because it was the heart that he was using continuously to radiate his love, his joy, his silence. It is not right to disturb him at this moment. Forty-two years he has been speaking; now it is your fault if in thirty years you could not find the time - it is your question."

But Buddha returned. His breathing, which had disappeared, came back again, his heart started beating again. He opened his eyes and he said, "Ananda, do you want it to be remembered by the coming generations that Buddha's love was so small that he could not come two steps back when a thirsty man had come? And I am still alive - I would be blamed forever. Don't prevent him, let him ask his question."

The man was seeing Buddha for the first time, and in a very strange situation: thousands of people were sitting silently, their eyes full of tears. And Buddha was almost half dead: he had taken two steps inwards; just two steps more and he would become part of the oceanic consciousness.

But a man who is love even in such a situation will radiate love. Ananda and all the disciples could not believe that for an ordinary man, who is not even a disciple, who has postponed for thirty years.... But Buddha's love and his compassion are infinite - he asked the man... but the man was so overwhelmed by the situation, he forgot his question.

He said, "I am fulfilled enough. Just your love has answered all my questions. You were half- dead and still you came back just to answer an ordinary man who has been avoiding you for thirty years, always finding different excuses." He touched Buddha's feet and he said, "Let me be your last disciple; initiate me. I had come to ask a question, but now there is no question - before your love, all questions disappear. And I don't want to miss this opportunity to be initiated by you."

Buddha initiated the man. And he asked again, "Is there anyone still holding some question?

Because it will be very difficult for me... if I pass the third stage, if I have left the heart and moved into pure consciousness, the fourth state, it will be difficult for me - even if I want to return. So please, if you have any questions, don't feel shy - ask them."

They said, "We are already feeling very sad and sorry because this man unnecessarily disturbed you. This is not a moment to disturb you, this is a moment to be silent - so silent that when you dissolve your consciousness, something of it becomes part of us, too." He said goodbye again and entered into the fourth state.

The story is very symbolic.... Up to this point it is absolutely historical. But in the East it is a tradition that what cannot be said in ordinary ways, can be related in parables, in stories. The story is:

As Buddha died, the trees that were dying, the trees whose leaves had become pale, suddenly became green; out of season, bushes and plants and trees burst into flower. There was a tremendous impact from his death - people who had been with him for decades and had not become enlightened, became enlightened in that moment.

Just as he dropped the body and his consciousness became unimprisoned, it spread all over.

Whoever was receptive, according to his receptivity, he was fulfilled. Even the trees were not unaware. When he was dying the birds were silent, and when he died they started singing their songs of joy.

Whenever an enlightened man dies, the whole world feels a rain of love, of consciousness, of blissfulness, of peace.

So don't waste your time just in reflections. Those reflections are good as fingers pointing to the real moon. Use those reflections to find the real which is reflected, and you will reach home from this strange land of insane people.

Question 2:

Deva Nartan, you need not be puzzled about it, because you are feeling something which is absolutely true.

I am absent, as a person. I have been absent for a long time. But the moment I became absent - the person disappeared - a miracle happened. The disappearance of the person did not create emptiness. On the contrary, when the person was there I was empty; as the person disappeared I became absolute fullness, a presence.

When I was there, God was not there. When I evaporated, in that space a new quality - I call it godliness - a new presence, a new light, a new love, which belonged to eternity, slowly, slowly became more and more clear to me.

I used to be a house; now I am a temple.

Everything from the outside has remained the same, but inside the sacred has descended.

So what you are feeling is absolutely the truth. On one hand I am absent, on another hand I am too much presence. If you can allow yourself just a little bit of space, my presence will enter into you. But you are so full of yourself that there is no way for God to enter in you, and you are keeping all your windows and doors closed out of fear that something from within you may fall out, may disappear, may be stolen; and there is nothing but crap.

The spiritual revolution can be reduced to a simple maxim:

You disappear and let God be.

You cannot find God. You and God cannot co-exist. If you exist, you are filling the whole space - and you are a false entity. Your name is false, whatever opinions you have collected about yourself are just opinions of people who themselves are fast asleep.

When I left the university, I approached the education minister directly, and I told him, "These are my qualifications: I have been top in my subject in the whole university; I need an appointment in a university."

He said, "This is strange. No application, nothing - you have just come directly to me."

I said, "In the application you would not have been able to feel me. I have come because my qualifications are just acquired from the outside, they are not inborn. I want you to face my inborn qualities."

There was a moment of silence. He said, "I can see and I can understand; but still the formalities have to be fulfilled."

So I said, "Just give me a piece of paper and I will write the application."

He said, "The application alone will not do; you have to attach a character certificate. Have you brought a character certificate?"

I said, "That is one of the most difficult things, because I have not come across a man to whom I can give a character certificate; how can I ask him to give me a character certificate?"

He said, "This is very difficult, but without a character certificate the formalities will not be fulfilled."

Then I said, "I can write a character certificate myself, because who knows me more than I know myself? My vice-chancellor was giving me a character certificate, I refused because I know the man - he has no character at all. And what is the meaning of having a character certificate from a man who has no character at all?

"I had certainly asked one of my professors to give me a character certificate, but he refused. He said, ?It is impossible to describe you, because I have known you for two years... you do not come into any category, and I don't know what to say about you. I would have loved to give you a character certificate, I have tried many times to write it, but nothing seemed to be adequate. I have dropped the idea.'"

The education minister said, "But a character certificate by your own hand is a strange thing."

I said, "I will do it properly. You accept this as an original character certificate, and I will get exactly the same from my professor - so that will be a carbon copy of the original; the original I am giving to you. I will not sign it, I will put my professor's signature, and because I have loved his handwriting, even he himself cannot make a distinction, whether he has signed it or I have signed it."

He said, "Finish it somehow, just do it."

So I signed the character certificate in the name of my professor, Dr. S. S. Roy, and I made a copy of it, and I went to S. S. Roy and I said, "The original I have given to the education minister. Now you give me a carbon copy of it."

He said, "What do you mean? I have heard always that the original has to be signed by me."

I said, "I have signed for you. Now, there cannot be two originals; that's why I am telling you to give me one carbon copy, as a proof."

I dictated it to him, he signed it, and he told me, "In my whole life, I don't think such a thing is going to happen again: that somebody writes a character certificate for himself, signs it with my signature, in the presence of the education minister. He is committing a crime...."

I said, "You don't be worried; if you see both certificates, you will feel your signature is not so good."

He said, "That I can believe, because I have seen... you have signed my signature in many places.

Before I had even reached the philosophy department, you had already signed the register and when I saw it the first time I could not believe what had happened. I had just arrived, and my signature was there! And I could not see any fault in it. I enquired, ?Who has signed it?'"

I said, "I have signed it, because it was getting late, and it has to be signed in time. Just to save you lying I managed to sign it. Now you need not be worried; you can come at any time, I will always sign it exactly at the time it has to be signed - that you have entered into the department. Even if you don't come, it does not matter; the signature will be there."

Your existence is just a carbon copy and you are clinging to it. Unless you drop it, the original, the real face of your being, will not show. And it is one of the most important things to remember: that if you can drop your ego, your personality, and allow existence to take its place, all the best and most beautiful qualities will follow on their own accord.

You will not have to be good, you will find you are good.

You will not have to be loving, you will find you are love.

You will not have to meditate, you will find you are meditation.

Just say goodbye to your ego, which is nothing but the opinions of others - press clippings, which you are holding as if they are your soul. Drop them! And immediately you become so clean, so pure, so spacious, that God cannot resist entering into you. You become a temple.

My whole effort here is to transform you from ordinary houses into sacred temples. When you can become the residence of the divine, why go on carrying secondhand opinions of people who themselves are just carbon copies?

Knowing the reality is such a benediction that one feels in every breath nothing but prayer - without any words, but full of gratitude.

Be absent as you are, so that God can be present in you with all his fragrance, with all his beauty, with all his glory, with all his eternity.

Question 3:

Anand Masta, whenever and wherever you feel the presence of the divine, you may not be able intellectually to understand it - you may be an atheist who does not believe that there is anything divine - but if you are open, available, you will be pulled with a magnetic force and that pull will be expressed in all these longings.

You are asking, "What is this longing to be close to You?" Translated rightly, it is the longing to be close to yourself.

I am no more than a mirror. You see something of your originality reflected, something of your beauty reflected, something that you are missing, and missing very deeply. It is like a wound in you. You want it to be healed, and you know if you come closer, it will be healed. It is not knowledge gathered from books, it is your intrinsic wisdom.

It is almost like: a moth finds it irresistible to go close whenever it sees a beautiful flame, although it knows that by going closer to the flame it will be consumed. But moths are not skeptical, not doubting - they trust in their longing. Knowing that their death is sure, they also know somewhere deep within their consciousness that after death is resurrection. Nobody has told them.

This longing to be close to me is the longing of a moth to be close to the flame.

"To rest my head on Your feet" - this is something very strange, of which the West is absolutely unaware. The East, for thousands of years, has understood the longing; it is an energy phenomenon.

The master is almost like a river that is coming down from the hills, with all the coolness, with all the songs of the forest, with all the beauty of the wild animals.

The East has understood it, that if you put your head on the feet of the master, his energy will start flowing into you. It can flow only from his feet.

Energy cannot go upwards. It follows exactly the same law as water: it goes downwards.

Friedrich Nietzsche, in his masterpiece THUS SPOKE ZARATHUSTRA, starts the book: This is how the downgoing of Zarathustra started. He was living in the mountains for a long time where very rare birds make their nests. To reach to that height is not possible.

He has lived on the heights and now he is so overfull of silence, of love, of blessings, of blissfulness, that a downward flow starts. It is a very symbolic statement: Thus Zarathustra started going down; just like a river, because that is the only way to reach to the people who live in the valleys.

Masta, your longing to rest your head on my feet is coming from a very deep source of wisdom and understanding. And I have given you the name Anand Masta. The day I initiated you I could see in your eyes the possibility of divine madness: Masta means "mad", Anand Masta means "blissfully mad". And now it seems the spring has come and flowers have started blossoming.

"What is this longing to be close to you, to rest my head on your feet, to dance so wildly that the Rolls Royce stops, to play the guitar and sing so loudly, to look into and drown in your eyes, to stop breathing when you move your hand? What is this irresistable pull to be physically close to you?"

Just a natural longing of every disciple to be drowned in the blissful energy, loving energy, in the ecstasy of the master. And to be drowned in the ecstasy of the master, one wants to dance madly so that the ego disappears and only dance remains - because the ego cannot dissolve into the master, but the dance can dissolve. To sing so loudly and so madly that the singer disappears; only then the song can dissolve into the master.

And because you are not yet aware of the whole phenomenon, you think it is "a pull to be physically close to You." There you are not understanding your own longing clearly, only very vaguely. It is not a question of physical closeness, it is a question of spiritual closeness. But because you have known yourself only as body, you are absolutely unaware of the treasures of your soul.

The body is there today, tomorrow it may not be; but your soul is going to be forever. The irresistable urge is to let your soul, your consciousness, become one with the master. I have called that state the state of a devotee.

The student is only intellectually interested; the disciple comes closer - he is not only intellectually interested, it is not only his curiosity to know more and more - the disciple wants to be more and more. But there comes a limit, when the disciple cannot resist the urge to be one with the master, to be one with the beloved. This is a spiritual urge.

But everybody feels it first as if it is an urge to be physically close. My intuition was perfectly right when I gave you the name "blissful madness". Now the time has come, the time of maturity. And when your madness matures, it moves from disciplehood to a higher stage of devotion.

In the West it is very much misunderstood: that people touch the feet of their elders, of their mothers, of their fathers, of their masters. They think it seems to be a little humiliating. It is not.

If you have loved and if touching the feet of your master is nothing but an expression of your devotion, you will not be humiliated. On the contrary, you will be raised to the highest consciousness you are capable of.

Anand Masta, you are fortunate, you are blessed. Let this longing grow into a sweet pain. Let it deepen. Don't be afraid. And you will find that which you have come here to find. In this humbleness, in this loving devotion, you are coming closer to the divine.

And there is an old, very old saying which seems to be very significant, that if you move one step towards God, he moves one thousand steps towards you.

Question 4:

Sadhan, you are just a little ahead of Anand Masta.

Your longing to be one with the master, to be one with the beloved, has ripened even more. That is why you feel your heart is full of pain, but the pain is very sweet.

When the pain is very sweet and blissful, so that you can rejoice in it, the pain is not of this world.

Who can rejoice in pain? This pain has a totally different quality from ordinary pain. That's why it is sweet, it is blissful, and you feel like rejoicing in it.

Rejoice! Let this sweet pain become a song, a dance. Let this sweet pain drown you completely - disappear in it. And your disappearance is the greatest thing that can happen to a person, because your disappearance is the beginning of the finding of the divine.

Okay, Vimal?

Yes, Osho.