With trust, it is always spring
WAS RABINDRINATH'S LONGING, HIS CREATIVE ANGST, THE VERY THING THAT IN THE END BECAME AN OBSTACLE TO HIS ENLIGHTENMENT? AM I ALSO DESTINED TO DIE WITH TEARS IN MY EYES, AND A POCKET FULL OF SONGS?
Milarepa, a poet is not in search of truth. His search is for beauty, and through the search for beauty nobody has ever become enlightened. One can become a great poet, a great painter, a great singer, a great dancer; but on the path of beauty, enlightenment is not possible.
The seeker of truth, and only the seeker of truth, attains to enlightenment. And this is the miracle of enlightenment, that once you have discovered truth, then beauty, the good, and all that is valuable simply become available to you.
Beauty cannot lead to enlightenment, but enlightenment opens your eyes to all dimensions and all directions.
Rabindranath was very close to enlightenment, but his search was not for enlightenment - he was searching for the beautiful. And the search for the beautiful, deep down, is the search for expressing beauty - in words, in music, in dance, in any kind of creativity. The seeker of beauty is really seeking a vision which he can reproduce in his poetry, in his song, in his painting. Always the search is inner, but the goal is somewhere outside. And that's the problem for all great creative people: they come to know, but then expression becomes difficult; they come to experience beauty, but how to share it? You may see a roseflower and be suddenly overwhelmed by its beauty, but how to share it? How to express it?
The concern of the artist is expression; the concern of the seeker is experience. Neither of them is able to express, but because the seeker of truth is totally concerned with experiencing, he comes to enlightenment, and he can die with a smile on his face, with fulfillment, whether he has been able to say something about it or not - that is not his concern, that is not his angst, his anxiety.
The artist also comes to know what he is seeking, but his problem is that basically, his interest in seeking beauty is for expression - and expression is almost impossible. At the most you can stutter a little bit - all your songs are stutterings of great poets. They look beautiful to you, immensely meaningful and significant, but to the poet... he knows he has failed.
All artists, either in the East or in the West, have felt an immense failure. They have tried their best, and they have produced great pieces of art - for us they are great pieces of art, but for them they are faraway echos of their experience. Hence, they die either mad....
Almost seventy percent of painters, dancers, poets have gone mad. They have made too much effort. They have put too much tension into their being, so that it brought a breakdown, a nervous breakdown. And many of the artists have even committed suicide. The wound of failure became unbearable: to live any longer and to carry the same wound, and feeling again and again... became too difficult, and it was better to destroy oneself. And those who have not gone mad or committed suicide, they have also not died in a blissful way.
In the East, we have defined the ultimate values as three: satyam, shivam, sundaram. Satyam means truth - that is the highest. The seeker, the mystic follows that path. Then comes shivam:
goodness, virtue. The moralist, the saint, the sage - they follow that path. And sundaram means beauty. The poets, the singers, the musicians - they follow that path.
Those who attain to truth automatically come to know what is good and what is beauty. Those who follow good, neither come to know what is true, nor do they come to know what is beauty. The followers of good - the moralists, the puritans - also never achieve enlightenment. All that they achieve is a repressed personality - very beautiful on the surface, but deep inside very ugly. They have great reputation, honor, respect, but inside they are hollow.
The people who follow sundaram, beauty, are inside fulfilled, utterly fulfilled, but their misery is that that is not their aim: just to be fulfilled. They want all that they have experienced to be brought into language, into paintings, into sculpture, into architecture. Hence, even though they have experienced beautiful spaces they remain anxiety-ridden.
The people who follow beauty are most often not very respectable - not in the same sense as the saints are. They are very natural people, very loving and very lovable, but they don't have any ego, any idea of holier-than-thou; they remain just simple and ordinary.
These three values have been for centuries followed separately. So the people who have become enlightened have never painted, have never made beautiful statues, have never composed music; they have never danced. They have never followed the dictates of the society, they have never followed the conventions of the society; hence most of them have been crucified, poisoned, killed - because people want you to be a puritan, a moralist. In people's eyes morality is a social value, truth is not. Beauty is for entertainment; they don't take it seriously.
I have been trying in many ways to open new doors - this is one of the most important doors. I want you to be a seeker of truth, but when you have attained to truth you should not be without songs and without dances. Beauty is a little lower value than truth, but the man of truth can express beauty more clearly than the poet, than the painter. For the higher, the lower is always understandable - not vice versa.
The man who has attained truth should also take care that his life radiates godliness, goodness. It may not be in tune with the morality of the society - it cannot be, because that morality is created by blind, unconscious people, just as a convention. For the man of truth it is not convention, it is simply his life. In utter nudity, he should make his life available to existence, to people, so that the ordinary morality of convention slowly, slowly changes into a real and authentic morality of a man who knows the truth.
The man of truth should not look at poetry and music and dance as just entertainment for ordinary people. He should make it a point, because he has risen to a height from where he can see beauty in its absolute glory. He can contribute many riches to existence : Each of his words can be a poem in itself, each of his silences can become celestial music, each of his gestures can indicate towards the most beautiful phenomenon, grace.
But this has not been so up to now - they have all followed their paths separately. I want my people to seek the truth, because by seeking it the other two will become available on their own accord.
But remember, when you have experienced truth don't forget that it is part of your compassion to give humanity new dreams of goodness, new visions of morality, ethics, which are not of the marketplace, which are not only conventions. And he should not forget that his truth is so deep inside him that the unconscious people will not be able to have a taste of it - he should create beauty in all possible dimensions.
Once in a while it has been done. For example, when the Taj Mahal was created... it was not the work of great architects, but it is the most beautiful architecture in existence. Shahjehan, the emperor who was creating it as a memorial grave for his beautiful wife, Mumtaz Mahal - hence the name Taj Mahal - searched for years for Sufi mystics, who have no concern for beauty. He asked the Sufi mystics, "Although it is something lower, and you are not interested in it - and why should one be? - just for my sake, you design the Taj Mahal. The architects will make it, but the design should come from those who have known beauty in its fullness, from a height."
George Gurdjieff used to say that there are two kinds of art. One is subjective art - ninety-nine percent of art in the world is subjective: you are simply pouring your feelings, your desires, your longings, your dreams, into whatever you are making.
But once in a while there is objective art - only one percent. What he calls objective art is art created by those who were not artists, who were realized people. They created music to help meditation - it was not for entertainment. They created poetry to convey that which cannot be conveyed by prose.
They sang, they danced, to give you just a glimpse of their ecstasy, of their inner dance, of their joy, their blissfulness.
In India, there are many places which have objective art. Even Gurdjieff had to mention them, although he was in the West; he was born in the Caucasus, but when he was talking about objective art, he had to fall upon India.
Indian classical music is not just for entertainment. Listening to it, you start going deep into yourself.
It is not for all, it is only for those who are ready for an inner pilgrimage.
He mentioned the Taj Mahal, too. On the full moon night, when the moon comes just in the middle of the sky, the Taj Mahal becomes the greatest object of meditation that man has created. You just sit silently and look at it, and just looking at it your thoughts will subside. The beauty of it is so enormous that your mind simply feels at a loss. It cannot grasp it, so it becomes silent.
The caves of Ajanta and Ellora, the temples of Khajuraho, Puri, and Konarak... all these he mentions as objective art - objective because they are not an effort to express feelings or ideas, they are devices, so that for centuries to come people will be able to have the same taste, the same feeling, the same joy.
The pyramids in Egypt are part of objective art. Just in the beginning of this century, when excavations were begun in the pyramids, a cat was found dead inside. The pyramid was three thousand years old - perhaps when they were closing the pyramid, the cat had remained inside and died. For three thousand years the cat had been there, dead, but its body had not deteriorated. That was a miracle: three thousand years, and the body of the cat was as if she had just died.
The scientists were puzzled. Finally it was discovered that the shape of the pyramid is the cause.
That particular shape of the pyramid is tremendously capable of preserving things as they are. Even if you put a dead body inside, it will be preserved. Nothing else is needed, because the shape of the pyramid changes the direction of the rays of the sun, and in that change of direction the miracle happens.
Now there are small plastic pyramids, glass pyramids available in the market. And people who are very much health-oriented, they just sit inside that pyramid. A small pyramid, portable - you can fold it, keep it in your suitcase - and wherever you want you can fix the pyramid up like a tent, and just sit inside it for one hour. And you will feel as immense a well-being as you have ever felt.
The possibility is that if these pyramids are used widely, man's life can be prolonged. If it becomes a routine exercise for every child, in every home, in every school, in every college, life can be stretched up to three hundred years. Just one hour every day inside the pyramid, and you are not to do anything, just sit there. It is helpful in both ways: It will preserve your life, and that one hour of well-being will give you a deep feeling of meditation. The people who created the pyramids must have been mystics who had come to such a clarity, to see things which are not available to us.
I want my people to be seekers of truth. But never forget that you have to bring a revelation into the moral codes of humanity, too. You should not feel satisfied that you have found the truth, and you have found what is good. You should make your good as much manifest and available to humanity as possible.
The same is applicable to beauty. One feels a great loss... if Buddha had painted, or composed music, or sang songs, or once in a while danced with his disciples, the world would have been immensely enriched.
I say to you, remember in those moments when you realize the truth that a great responsibility has fallen on your shoulders: you have to change the ordinary morality into a spiritual code, and you have to change subjective art into objective art. This will be the new expression of the contemporary mystic, and it will make a new breakthrough for the future.
Milarepa, you are asking, "Am I also destined to die with tears in my eyes, and a pocket full of songs?" If you remain interested only in songs and music, you will die with tears in your eyes, and those tears will not be of joy.
Let your search be for the truth, and only on the margin go on practicing your music, composing your songs; so when you reach to your enlightenment you are articulate enough to bring beauty to expression. Then you can go laughing, fulfilled, without any tears.
CAN ONE MEDITATE TOO MUCH?
Shanti Animisha, there are things which you can never do too much. For example, you cannot love too much; more is always possible, and there is no limitation anywhere.
I am taking the example of love because that will be easily understood. The same is true about meditation: you cannot meditate too much, because silence knows no bounds - it is an abysmal depth. You can go on and on, and you will find there is always much more to be explored.
There comes no point in meditation when you can say, "Now it is the full stop." There is no such thing as a full stop, because you are carrying the whole sky within your heart, a whole universe in your being.
Meditation is trying to find the ultimate limit. You always feel that you are coming closer to it; you are always coming closer, and closer, and closer. It is always coming closer, but you never reach it, because the limit that you seek is just like the horizon - you can go towards the horizon, thinking that it looks only a few miles away at the most, where the earth and the sky are meeting, but they do not meet anywhere. So as you go on, your horizon also goes on receding; you will never reach to the horizon. What is true about the inner consciousness is also true about the outer space.
Albert Einstein used to think, when he was young, that there must be a limit somewhere - because mind cannot see the unlimitable. It may be very far away, millions and millions of light years-away, but it must be there. But as he continuously worked on the stars and space, slowly, slowly he became aware that there is no limit at all.
And there cannot be, because a limit needs something else to make a limit out of it. For example, your house has a fence because there are other houses in the neighborhood. Your fence cannot exist if there is nothing beyond it.
Space is a nothingness in which stars are moving, millions of stars - three million stars have been counted up to now. You may or may not be aware that in the night when the sky is absolutely clear of clouds and you see the stars, you don't see more than three hundred - but even three hundred seems to be so many. And if you don't believe me, try to count. It is a very difficult task - from where to begin? And again and again you will be coming to a point: have I counted this star or not?
Scientists have figured out that with the eyes only three hundred stars at the most can be seen.
And there are three million stars. That is not the limit of the stars, that is the limitation of our scientific instruments - because three years ago there were only one million. Then we improved our instruments, and there were two million, and then we improved our instruments, and there were three million.
Einstein said, "It all depends how refined the instruments we have are. Go on refining your instruments, and the stars will go on becoming more and more available to you."
And these stars are in a very strange situation, which was not known before Albert Einstein. He has given us so many new insights: that all these stars are running away... as if you are running away from your home, farther and farther.
Scientists have not been able to find the center of the universe, but there must be some center, it seems, from which the stars are running away, farther and farther, with tremendous speed - at the same speed as the speed of light: one hundred eighty-six thousand miles per second.
Hence, the new idea has come of an expanding universe. It is no longer a fixed thing, it is continuously expanding - and expanding into what? An immense nothingness, pure space; and that space has no limit. And we don't know whether we will be able to know about all the stars, because it will all depend on our instruments. Every day, many stars are being found.
This expanding universe can give you a parallel: inside there is an expanding consciousness. In meditation you start feeling the expanding consciousness - there is no limit to it.
You cannot do too much. Whatever you are doing is always too little. And it will always remain too little. These are the mysteries of existence.
The scientist becomes aware of the outer world, the mystic becomes aware of the inner world. And the inner world is far richer.
I LOVED THE STORY ABOUT THE SUN AND DARKNESS. AS FAR AS MY WATCHING IS CONCERNED, INSTEAD OF BEING A SUN, I FEEL MORE LIKE I AM CARRYING AN OLD INDIAN FLASHLIGHT, HAVING TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO PUSH THE BUTTON. I HEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT MAKING AN EFFORT, NOT TRYING, BUT LETTING IT HAPPEN. THE PROBLEM IS, WHEN I DON'T PUSH THIS BUTTON THERE IS NO LIGHT, AND WHAT IS HAPPENING ON ITS OWN IS DARKNESS. BELOVED OSHO, COULD YOU PUT SOME LIGHT ON THIS EFFORTLESS EFFORT, AS FAR AS WATCHING AND AWARENESS ARE CONCERNED?
Veet Kamaal, first, a few corrections to your question. You are saying, "I am carrying an old Indian flashlight with me." It is not old, even the latest Indian flashlights will do the same. You have to learn how to behave with any product that is being made in India!
You say that you have to make a great effort to push the button. You need to keep with you a steel rod, so each time you want the flashlight on, hit the button. It is no ordinary flashlight made in Germany, it is made in India. Pushing it will be a tremendous wastage of energy.
I have heard a story.... In an Indian factory, one day the machines suddenly stopped. The mechanics tried everything, but nothing was helpful. A man was just standing outside, watching all this. He came in and he said, "If I can start this machine, are you ready to pay my price for it?"
The owner was losing so much money, because it had been almost three days that the factory was closed. He said, "What is your fee?" The man said, "Not much, just ten thousand rupees."
The owner said, "You are asking too much." The man said, "It is up to you to choose; you will be losing thousands of rupees every hour. Then I can go."
The owner said, "No, I will give you ten thousand." The man said, " In advance."
The owner said, "You are a strange fellow. Can't you believe me?" The man said, "In India, the old proverb of the Sufis is applicable: Trust in God, but first tie your camel. Just don't let the camel move in the desert because you trust God. Trusting is very good, but tie down the camel also. I believe and I trust you, but still in advance is better."
The poor owner had to give ten thousand rupees. The man brought a big rod, went around the factory, and at a certain point he hit the machinery so hard that the owner jumped. He said, "What are you doing? Are you a mechanic? I have never seen such kind of...." But the machines started working.
The owner said, "Just for hitting, ten thousand is too much." The man said, "It is not a question of just hitting. It is a question of where to hit. That needs wisdom."
So Kamaal, first drop the idea you have, that it is an old Indian flashlight. Even the latest will behave just like the old. India follows the ancient way.
You are worried, because you say, "I hear you talking about not making an effort, not trying, but letting it happen. The problem is, when I don't push this button there is no light, and what is happening on its own is darkness.
"Beloved Osho, could you please put some light on this effortless effort, as far as watching and awareness are concerned?"
First, you have to understand that darkness has its own beauty, its own depth, its own silence, its own song. And if, without doing anything, only darkness is happening, then remember what Sadhan had asked yesterday - that such is the case. Remember the word suchness, and relax.
Perhaps the darkness may become even deeper and darker - and don't rely on any flashlight.
Depend on patience, and watch the darkness. It is far more cooling to the eyes, resting to the heart, relaxing to the being. And as the darkness becomes deeper, remember: before the dawn it becomes the darkest.
So, when the darkness is becoming deeper, rejoice; it means the dawn is very close by. You simply go on watching. It will become the darkest, and then slowly, slowly, the sun will start rising from the East, with psychedelic colors all over the horizon. The birds will start singing, the trees will start swaying in the wind - life has come again back to the earth. Sleep is gone, you are awake.
Just as darkness has to be watched, so watch the morning, watch the light, watch the beautiful colors. The question is not what you are watching, the question is that you are watching. Your inner growth is not concerned in watching something special; you can watch anything. You can watch just darkness, nothingness, but the watcher should remain there; it should not fall asleep.
And the dawn is sure to come - then too you have to watch. Night or day, suffering or blissfulness, life or death, you remain just the watcher.
It needs no effort; it is simply remaining alert. And I think that, in darkness, you will be more alert than in light. You can try it: go into the forest in the middle of the night, and then try to sleep. You will not sleep. You would rather sit watching - a slight movement around somewhere in the darkness, a leaf falling from the trees, or a bird suddenly flying in the darkness, and you will jump up with all your awareness.
Darkness is a perfectly good space to be aware.... You need not carry that flashlight made in India, and make a great effort to push the button; sometimes, even with the button pushed, there will be no light, because the batteries are also made in India. India makes really mysterious things. You can enjoy them, but you cannot rely on them. There is no need to at all.
The watcher has to be a pure watcher. For example, right now, what effort is needed to be silent, to be watching, to be listening to the birds. There is no effort in it, you are just relaxed. And remember, relaxation is not an effort.
In America, there is one great best-seller book, entitled, YOU MUST RELAX! When I read the title, I said, "My God, You MUST... then relaxation also becomes an exercise." Then you force yourself into relaxing. And what kind of relaxation will come out of it? Either you relax, or you don't relax, but there is no question of any MUST. "Must" implies effort, doing, forcing - but for the American mind, perhaps there is no contradiction in the title.
Here you have just to relax - no must, no should, no great effort on your part. Relaxation is a natural phenomenon. The trees are relaxed, the birds are relaxed; even though they go on singing their song, it is coming out of their utter relaxation. And you are relaxed, and you are not making any effort for it.
DURING THE EIGHT YEARS I HAVE BEEN YOUR DISCIPLE, MY TRUST IN YOU AND EXISTENCE HAS BECOME STRONGER AND STRONGER. MY LOVE FOR YOU IS VERY CHANGEABLE - SOMETIMES BEING WITH YOU, MY EYES ARE FULL OF TEARS; SOMETIMES THERE IS A DEEP SILENCE, LIKE WAVES DROWNING ME; AND SOMETIMES IT LOOKS LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING. IS TRUST COMING FROM MY BEING, AND LOVE FROM MY HEART?
CAN YOU PLEASE SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON WHAT IS HAPPENING?
Devadip, your question has its answer in itself. You have clearly distinguished between the heart and being. Trust belongs to being. Being is always the same; it is part of eternity. And because trust belongs to being, it does not change the way love changes.
Love belongs to the heart, and heart is very moody. Sometimes you are full of love, and sometimes utterly empty, sometimes dancing, and sometimes with tears of joy; and sometimes nothing happens. The heart is very seasonal - one season comes and it is raining; another season comes and it is summer; another season comes and it is winter. And seasons go on changing, so love goes on changing.
Unless a great revolution happens in your being, that your love also dives deep and becomes one with trust... then there are not two things, trust and love, but only trust-love. Then there will always be the same peaceful joy, the same silent love energy; but love has to be joined with the trust.
You cannot do anything about it, you simply go on remembering and watching. Trust is enough. If love also joins it, it will become more juicy, have more flowers, more perfume; otherwise trust, in itself, is enough.
You should not pay too much attention to the changes of love. Accept them; it is the nature of love.
And with acceptance, slowly, slowly the love will go deeper and will join hands with trust. And once love and trust are together, trust is so powerful that it transforms the very nature of love itself. But love has a dance in it, a beauty in it, a nourishment in it, of its own. Trust will become more beautiful, more nourished, more juicy, more blissful. So the joining will be a great radical change in you.
But you should not try to do it; you cannot do anything. All that is possible for you is to go on becoming more and more strong in your trust, and accept all the seasons of love with the same attitude - whether it is smiling, whether it is giving tears to your eyes, whether it is an empty desert, or whether it is a garden full of flowers. Whether it has a song to sing, or is just silent, accept all its seasons.
Love is a changing energy, and nothing is wrong in it. With your acceptance, one day there will be a quantum leap in your being, and love will join with your trust.
Meanwhile, make your trust more and more strong. Then trust will transform the changeability of love; all seasons will disappear, it will be always spring.
With trust, it is always spring.