Poet of the Ultimate

Fri, 4 September 1974 00:00:00 GMT
Book Title:
The Mustard Seed: My Most Loved Gospel on Jesus
Chapter #:
am in Buddha Hall
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Jesus was trained in one of the oldest secret schools. The school was called Essenes. The teaching of the Essenes is pure Vedanta. That's why Christians don't have a record of what happened to Jesus before his thirtieth year. They have a little record of his childhood, and they have a record after his thirtieth year up to the thirty-third, when he was crucified - they know a few things. But a phenomenon like Jesus is not an accident; it is a long preparation, it cannot happen just any moment.

Jesus was continuously being prepared during these thirty years. He was first sent to Egypt and then he came to India. In Egypt he learned one of the oldest traditions of secret methods, then in India he came to know about the teachings of Buddha, the Vedas, the Upanishads, and he passed through a long preparation. Those days are not known because Jesus worked in these schools as an unknown disciple. And Christians have knowingly dropped those records, because they would not like the son of God to also be a disciple of somebody else. They would not like the very idea that he was prepared, taught, trained - that looks humiliating. They think the son of God comes absolutely ready. Nobody comes absolutely ready. If somebody is absolutely ready he cannot come.

In this world, you always enter as imperfect. Perfection simply disappears from this world. Perfection is not of this world, cannot be - it is against the very law. Once somebody is perfect, his whole life enters into a vertical dimension. This has to be understood: you progress on a horizontal plane, from A to B, from B to C and D, and so on up to Z; horizontal, in a line, from past to present, from present to future. This is the way of the imperfect soul, just like water flowing in a river from the hills and plains to the sea - in a line, horizontal, always maintaining its own level.

Perfection moves in vertical lines, not horizontally. From A it doesn't go to B, from A it goes higher than A, then higher, still higher. On this line, for those who live on this line, perfection simply disappears. It is not there because they can look in the future or in the past. They can look back, but the perfect man is not there; they can look ahead, but he is not there; they can look here, he is not there - because a new line of vertical progression has started. He is going higher and higher and higher. He moves in eternity, not in time.

Eternity is vertical, that's why it is eternal now - there is no future to it. If you move in a line there is future: if you move from A to B, the B is in the future. When B becomes the present, A has gone into the past and C is in the future. You are always between past and future, your present moment is just a passing phase: the B is turning into C, the D is turning into E; everything is moving into the past. And your present is just a cut line, just a small fragment. By the time you become aware, it has moved into the past. A soul which becomes perfect moves in a different dimension altogether:

from A to A1 to A2 to A3 - and this is eternity. It lives in the eternal now. That's why it disappears from this world.

To enter into this world you have to be imperfect. It is said in old scriptures that whenever a man comes near perfection - many times it has happened - he will leave something imperfect in order to come back again and help people. It is said of Ramakrishna that he was addicted to food, just obsessed, as if the whole day he was thinking of food. He would be talking to his disciples and whenever he got a chance he would just go into the kitchen to ask his wife, "What's new? What new thing are you preparing today?" Even his wife felt very embarrassed many times, and she would say, "Paramahansa Deva, this doesn't suit you." And he would laugh.

One day his wife persisted, saying, "Even your disciples laugh about it and they say, 'What type of liberated man is Paramahansa? - he is so addicted to food!' Whenever Sharda, his wife, brought food, he would immediately stand to look in the thali and see what she had brought. He would forget everything about Vedanta, the Brahman, and sometimes it was very embarrassing because there were people there, and they had never thought, they could never conceive....

So one day his wife persisted, "Why do you do this? There must be some reason."

Ramakrishna said, "The day I don't do it, then you can count three more days that I will be alive.

The day I stop, that will be the signal that I will be here only three more days."

His wife laughed, the disciples laughed. They said, "This is no explanation!" They couldn't follow what he meant.

But it happened this way. One day his wife came in and he was lying on his bed resting. He turned aside - usually he would have jumped out of the bed to see. And his wife remembered that he had said that he would live only three more days the day he showed his indifference towards food. She couldn't hold the thali; the thali dropped and she started crying. Ramakrishna said, "But you all wanted it to be so. Now, don't get worried about it. I am here for three more days." And the third day he died. Before dying he said that he had been clinging to food just as a part of something imperfect in him, so that he could be here and serve you.

Many masters have done that. The moment they feel that something is going to become completely perfect in them, they will cling to some imperfection just to be here; otherwise this bank is not for them. If all the fetters are broken then their boat sails towards the other bank, then it cannot remain here. They will keep one fetter: they will keep some relationship, they will choose some weakness in themselves and they will not allow it to disappear. The circle will not be complete, a gap will remain. Through that gap they can remain here. That's why Hindus, Buddhists, Jainas, who know very deeply because they have known many masters, know well that perfection is not of this world.

The moment the circle is complete it disappears from your eyes. You cannot see, it is not then on the line of your vision, it has gone above you - you cannot penetrate there.

But to say that Jesus was perfect when he was born, to emphasize this fact, Christians have dropped all the records. But Jesus was as much a seeker as you, he was as much a mustard seed as you are. He became a tree, and a great tree, and millions of birds of heaven took shelter in him - but he was also a mustard seed. Remember that even a Mahavira, a Buddha, a Krishna, they are all born imperfect, because birth belongs to imperfection. There is no birth for the perfect; when you are perfect then there is no transmigration.

This training of Jesus - moving into Egypt and India, learning from Egyptian secret societies, then Buddhist schools, then Hindu Vedanta - made him a stranger to the Jews. Why did he become so much of a stranger to the Jews? Why couldn't the Jews absorb him? Why couldn't they forgive him? - they have not forgiven him yet! What was the reason? He was bringing something alien, something foreign; he introduced some secret which didn't belong to the race. That's why the crucifixion happened.

Hindus tolerated Buddha because whatsoever he was saying was not alien. He may contradict Hinduism, but he can contradict only the superficial Hinduism. Even in his contradiction he proves the deeper Hinduism right. He may say that the establishment has gone wrong, he may say that the organization has gone wrong, he may say that all the followers have gone wrong, but he cannot say that Hindus are basically wrong. Whatsoever he says Hindus can understand, it is not foreign, it is not alien. Whatsoever Mahavira said Hindus simply tolerated. He may be a revolutionary, but he remains a Hindu. Buddha may be a revolutionary, but he remains a Hindu; he may be a rebel son, but he belongs to Hindus - nothing much to worry about.

But Jesus is not only revolutionary, he doesn't belong either. How has it happened that he doesn't belong to the Jews? Christians have no answer for it. From where did he bring this alien teaching?

From Egypt and from India.

India has been the source of all religions. India has been the basic source of even those religions which are against Hinduism. Why has it happened that India has been the basic source of all religions? India is the oldest civilization, and the whole mind of India has been working and working and working in the dimension of religion. It has come upon all the secrets of religion - no secret is unknown. In fact, for thousands of years you have not been able to teach any secret to India about religion, because they know all. They have discovered all, they have completed the whole journey in a way. So all that is beautiful in religion, wherever it is, you can be certain that somehow it comes from the source. Just as the Greek mind is the source of science - the whole scientific development comes from the Greek mind, the logical mind, the Aristotelean mind - all mysticism comes from India. And only two types of mind exist in the world: one is Greek, the other is Indian.

If you are basically a Greek mind, it is impossible to understand India at all because it looks absurd.

Whatsoever they say looks unproven, whatever statements they make look meaningless. Aristotle will be an absolute foreigner in India because he believes in definitions, clearcut demarcations, distinctions. And he believes in the law of contradiction, that two contradictory things cannot be together: A cannot be A and not A simultaneously, that is impossible; a man cannot be alive and dead simultaneously, that is impossible. Apparently he is right.

Hindus believe in contradiction. They say man is alive and dead, both simultaneously, because life and death are not two things, you cannot demarcate them. The Greek mind is mathematical, the Hindu mind is mystical. All mysticism comes from India; just as the sun rises in the East, all mysticism rises in the East - and India is the heart. For this sutra to be understood you have to go to the Upanishads, the roots are there. You cannot find anything in the Old Testament or in other Jewish records from where this saying can come. That's why the Jews could not believe what Jesus was saying.

Jesus says again and again, "I have come not to contradict the old scriptures but to fulfill them." But what scriptures, which scriptures? That he never says. If he has come to fulfill the Old Testament then his statement is wrong, because he almost always contradicts the Old Testament. The Old Testament depends on revenge - the father, the God, is very revengeful. Fear is the basis of the Old Testament and its religion: you should be God-fearing. And Jesus says, "God is love." You cannot fear love, and if there is love there cannot be any fear. And if you have fear how can you love? Fear is poison to love, fear is death to love. How can you love a person if you are afraid? Fear can create hate, but fear cannot create love.

So a religious man in the Old Testament is God-fearing, and in the New Testament a religious man is God-loving. And love and fear are totally different dimensions. Jesus has said, "It is said that if somebody harms one of your eyes, pull out both his eyes. But I tell you, if somebody hits you on one cheek, give him your other cheek also." This is absolutely non-Jewish, it was not there in the tradition. So when Jesus says, "I have come to fulfill the scriptures," which scriptures does he mean? If he had been in India and he had said, "I have come to fulfill the scriptures," we would have understood, because the Upanishads are the scriptures he has come to fulfill; Dhammapada, Buddha's sayings, are the scriptures he has come to fulfill - they depend on love, compassion.

But Jewish scriptures are not at all concerned with compassion and love, they are concerned with fear, guilt. That's why whatsoever Jesus said, Jews understood well that, "He has not come to fulfill our scriptures." You cannot find a saying like this in the Old Testament:



You can find thousands of sayings like this in the Upanishads, in the Gita, in Buddha, but you cannot find a single parallel in the Old Testament. So which scriptures has he come to fulfill? He has come to fulfill some other scriptures, some other traditions. This saying is absolutely Vedanta, so try to understand first the standpoint of Vedanta, then you will be able to understand this saying.

Jesus was born as a Jew, lived as a Jew, died as a Jew - but this is only as far as the body is concerned; otherwise Jesus was a pure Hindu. And you cannot find a purer Hindu than Jesus, because the base of Upanishadic religion is his base. He created the whole structure on that base, so try to understand what that base is.

Jews say, "God is the creator and this universe is the created, and the created can never become the creator. How can a painting become the painter? How can a poem become the poet? Impossible!

And if the poem tries to become the poet, the poem has gone mad; and if the painting tries to prove and assert and claim that 'I am the painter,' then the painting has gone wrong. Man is the creature and God is the creator. And this distance can never completely go, this space will remain. You can come closer and closer and closer to God, but you can never become God." This is the base of Jewish thought. And Mohammedans learned this from Jews. Mohammedans are more Jewish than Jesus; as far as the thinking, the way of thought is concerned, Mohammed is nearer to Moses than Jesus. Mohammed did not learn much from the Hindus.

But Vedanta says, "God is the creation, there is no distinction between God and the creation. He has not created the universe like a poet creates a poem, the relationship is just like a dancer and the dance: they remain one. If the dancer stops, the dance disappears; and if the dance disappears, the person is no longer a dancer. The universe is not separate, it is one. The universe was not created in time and finished, it is created each moment; it is being created each moment because it is God's own being. Just as you move, you sing, you love, so God creates - every moment he is creating.

And the creation is never separate, it is his movement, his dance." That's why the Upanishads can say, "aham brahmasmi." The Upanishads can say, the seers who have come to know this secret can say, "I am God." And nobody thinks this is blasphemy - this is a truth.

Jews can never say, "I am God" - this is blasphemy, nothing can be worse than this assertion. You trying to be God? A creature trying to be God? A slave trying to assert that he is the master? This is egoism! What is pure religion in Vedanta is egoism for Jews and Mohammedans. Vedanta says this is not ego, because this feeling that "I am God" happens only when the 'I' has disappeared completely. When you are no more, when the house is vacant and the boat is empty, then suddenly you become aware that you are the all. If you are there, how can you think that you are the all?

If you are there then you have a boundary, a personality - then your assertion is false. When 'I' disappears, when there is egolessness, only then can you feel you are the all. Jesus' assertion comes from the Upanishads.

The first thing to be remembered: the creation and the creator are not two, they are one.

The second thing to remember: ordinary mathematics says that the part is never equivalent to the whole, the part can never be the whole. In mechanisms it is so: take a part of your car - the part cannot be the car, it is so obvious; you cut your hand - your hand is not you. A part cannot be the whole, this is ordinary logic. And if the world is a mechanical thing, then it is true.

But Vedanta says that existence is organic, not mechanical. With organic unity a different type of mathematics becomes applicable: the part is the whole. This is the greatest absurdity! And that's why they could say, "I am God - because I am just a part, God is the all." But how can the part be the whole? If there is a mechanical relationship between me and existence, then this is not possible.

But if there is an organic unity, then this is possible. And there is organic unity.

You exist not as a separate unit complete unto yourself. No! You exist not as an island, you exist as a wave of the ocean, an organic unity, you are one: the ocean goes on moving and 'waving' in you - you cannot exist without the ocean. And if you understand deeply, the ocean also cannot exist without you; you are totally joined together. You can say that in every wave the ocean is there, and you can say the ocean is nothing but the totality of all the waves. So a wave is not separate: you cannot take a wave away from the ocean, you cannot bring it home to show to your children that, "I have gone to the ocean and I have brought a wave." You cannot bring the wave. You can bring the water, but that will not be a wave - that will not be alive.

Look at the ocean when the waves are there: they are alive because the ocean is their life. When they are jumping hundreds of feet, reaching towards the sky, the ocean is reaching through them.

You may not see the ocean, you may just see the wave, but you cannot separate the wave from the ocean - they are organically one.

Vedanta says that the created is organically one with the creator, the world cannot exist without God.

This can be understood by Jews and Mohammedans also. But Hindus say something else too, the second part: they say that God cannot exist without the world. That is blasphemy for Jews. What are you saying - that God cannot exist without the world? Yes - he cannot exist, it is impossible for him to exist. If he is a creator, if creativity is his quality, how can he exist without the universe? When there is nothing created, how can he be a creator? The world depends on him, he depends on the world; it is an interdependence. The world is not independent of him, and neither is he independent of the world. There is a deep love relationship: they depend on each other, they fulfill each other, they are one. The fulfillment is so total that you cannot separate and divide them.

So a seer, one who has come to know, can declare, "Aham brahmasmi, Ana'l haq - I am God." And when he says this, he is simply saying, "I and this existence are not two." He is simply saying, "You will find me anywhere you go, wherever you go you will find me. The form may be different, but I will be there." This is what Jesus is saying: CLEAVE A PIECE OF WOOD AND I AM THERE.... How can Jesus be there if you cleave a piece of wood? You cannot find the form, you will not find the son of Mary and Joseph there, you will not find this carpenter boy there if you cleave wood. Then what will you find? Being you will find - and he is saying, "I am being. My form will change, but not I."


This is pure Vedanta - an organic unity. That's why Hindus are the only ones in the world who don't bother much about temples, they can make anywhere their temple. They will just put a stone under a tree - any stone, not even carved - and they will paint it red and God is there, they can worship. Any tree is enough, any river, any mountain, anything will do because: CLEAVE A PIECE OF WOOD AND I AM THERE; LIFT UP THE STONE AND YOU WILL FIND ME THERE - so why bother?

Hindus alone dispose of their gods. They make a god for two or three weeks, they worship it, and when the worship is over they go to the ocean and dispose of the god. You cannot think of a Mohammedan disposing of a god, you cannot think of a Jew disposing of a god. What are you doing? Disposing of a god in the ocean? Are you a heretic? Have you gone mad? Only Hindus can do this, because they say the ocean is also God. And why carry a god too long? When the function is finished, dispose of it, because he is everywhere, all over, and we can make him again, any moment - any stone will do. Being, not the form of Jesus, you will find everywhere. And that 'beingness' is the point to be understood - that 'beingness' is God.

When a tree flowers it is God flowering, when a seed sprouts, it is God sprouting, when a river flows it is God flowing. God is not a person. If God is a person then there is a problem - and Jews had the idea that God is a person. God is a 'no-person': he is pure being, he is existence itself, he exists in all, but you cannot find him anywhere in particular. He has no abode, you cannot go and knock; he has no address, you cannot write a letter to him. In a way he is nowhere, because he is everywhere. You cannot pinpoint him; you cannot say, "Here is God," because that will be wrong.

Only something which has a form, which has a distinction from other things, can be pinpointed. How can you pinpoint something which has no form, which is in all, spread all over?

But Jews had a conception of a very personalized God. And whenever there is personality there is ego. The Jewish God is very egoistic - very, very egoistic. You disobey him and you will suffer for eternity in hell. It is very serious: God becomes a dictatorial force and the whole existence becomes a slavery. Then freedom is not for you; freedom is God's nature, not yours. Slavery is going to be your discipline.

Jesus is saying absolutely the contrary, that God is not a person; God is energy, the very life-force, what Bergson has called the elan vital - it is existence as such. And wherever something exists, God exists, because nothing else can exist. This was the difficulty, why he could not be understood and he had to be crucified. Even if he was saying, "I am the son of God," it was possible for the Jews to forgive him, but basically he was asserting more. As his disciples became attuned to him, he went even further.

In this sutra he says:


He is not saying that he is the son, here he is saying that he is the father: I AM THE LIGHT THAT IS ABOVE THEM ALL, I AM THE ALL.... Here he is saying, "I am God, not the son."



In this sutra he asserts, "I am God, not the son of God." Even 'son' can be forgiven, because a distinction remains: the father remains the source, the son is just a product. They may be in deep intimacy, but a son remains a son, a father remains a father. The distinction can be maintained, and the son has to obey the father; a relationship exists. It is not the relationship of a slave to his master, but of a son to his father - more intimate but still a relationship; they remain two.

This sutra is not recorded in the Bible - cannot be recorded. He must have asserted it only to his disciples, because now those who had been in deep intimacy with him would be able to understand.

This cannot be told in a marketplace. There he was saying, "I am the son of God." With his disciples he says, "I am God, not the son. I am the source of all, I am the alpha and the omega. Everything comes from me and everything attains to me."

This is pure Vedanta. You cannot find assertions like this anywhere else, you will have to go to the Gita and the Upanishads. This is what Krishna says to Arjuna: "I am the all, the source of all.

Everything comes from me and everything dissolves in me. Throw your ego and come to my feet."

This sounds as if it is Krishna speaking.

There is a tradition, a beautiful tradition - I don't know how much it can be proved, but it is beautiful, needs no proof - there is a tradition that the word Christ is just a form of the word Krishna. It is possible: in Bengali, Krishna is still called Kristo, because 'Krishna' is not the name of the person, 'Krishna' is his absolute achievement, just like 'Buddha'. 'Buddha' is not the name, it is the absolute achievement when one becomes enlightened. The word Buddha means one who has awakened.

What does 'Krishna' mean? The word means one who has become the center of the world. 'Krishna' means the magnetic center, one who attracts, who is now the center of the whole existence. 'Christ' has the same meaning. Mary named her son Jesus. 'Christ' was added to Jesus when he became the center of the world. In this assertion he is saying, "I am the center, the all. Everything comes from me, everything goes back to me. You go away from me, then you have to attain to me." It is possible that 'Christ' is just a form of 'Krishna'. It is significant because Krishna's assertions in the Gita and Jesus' assertions like these, are exactly the same.

The third thing to be understood about Vedanta is that Vedanta accepts you as you are, because rejection will mean rejection of God himself. Rejection means that something has to be done: as you are, you are wrong, something has to be cut, something has to be thrown. As you are, you are not accepted, you are not welcome. You will have to change yourself, only then will you be welcome.

Vedanta says that as you are, you are welcome. Nothing is to be done - the very concept of doing has been the cause of your misery. The very concept of doing, that something has to be done, has been the cause of your misery, because whatsoever you do will lead you into the world. That's why Hindus say it is because of karma - karma means doing - you are in the world. Karma does not mean doing bad, karma simply means doing. Because you have been paying too much attention to doing this or that, you are in the world.

Don't pay much attention to the doing; pay much attention to the being. Don't think of what is to be done, just think of who you are. Vedanta is amoralistic; it doesn't bother about morality and immorality. It has no Ten Commandments, it does not give you any orders, it does not talk in terms of 'ought'. It says that as you are, you are welcome - as you are, you are good, beautiful, true.

The problem is not that others reject you, the problem is that you reject yourself. And if you reject yourself, you are in a vicious circle. Then you will try to improve, and nothing can be improved because you are God himself. Then you will be in misery, because it is impossible to improve you.

As you are, you are divine. How can the divine be improved? And if you try to improve the divine, then you will move from one life to another, improving, improving, and never will any improvement happen, you will remain the same. It is just like jogging on the same spot - but you think you are running fast because you are perspiring and breathing so hard, and doing such great work; you think you are running fast, reaching somewhere, and you are standing on your spot jogging.

Your whole life is jogging. You are not going anywhere because there is nowhere to go; you are not improving because it is impossible to improve. The ultimate which is within you cannot be improved - there is no 'further' to it, there is no 'better' to it, this is what Vedanta says. Vedanta says that you are divine. This has to be realized, not worked out; you simply have to look within and realize who you are. The problem is not that you are bad, the problem is that you don't look at yourself; the problem is of knowledge, not of doing. The problem is of a right perspective from where you can see yourself.

It is just as if a diamond is taught to become a valuable stone, and the diamond gets the idea and it starts trying to become a valuable stone. Just this idea will become the barrier. All the efforts the diamond can make are going to be futile, because it is already the most precious stone. When the diamond comes to understand the futility of its effort, it will drop all effort and become aware of who it is. Then the problem will be solved.

I have heard: Once a man rushed into the office of a psychiatrist and said, "Doctor, now you have to help me - it has gone beyond my limits! My memory is lapsing. I cannot even remember what happened yesterday. I cannot even remember what I said this morning. Help me, I am going crazy!"

The psychiatrist asked, "When did this problem start? When did you become aware of this problem?"

The man looked puzzled and said, "What problem?" ... because he had forgotten.

That is the problem: you have forgotten yourself. That's the problem.

Whatsoever you do will create karma, and karma is a cycle, a wheel: one karma leads to another - A to B, B to C - you move from one part of the wheel to another. It is a wheel and it goes on moving, it goes on moving. Karma can never lead you to liberation because you are already liberated. This is the most difficult thing to follow: that you are already liberated.

People come to me and I have to tell them to do this and that, because they will not understand that they are already liberated. I have to tell them to do this and that just in order to exhaust them, just in order that one day they become so exhausted with the effort that they will come to me and say, "I don't want to do anything." Only then can I say there is no need to do anything. But you needed much when you came in the beginning, you needed to do much. And if I say there is nothing to do, you will go and move to somebody else who can say that there is something to do.

Nothing is to be done. Absolutely as you are, you are already divine. This is Vedanta. It is not a morality, it is pure religion. And that's why there are not many Vedantists in the world - cannot be. That's why Vedanta cannot become a world religion like Christianity or Islam - impossible! - because you have a deep need to do something. And if somebody says, "Nothing is to be done, it is already the case that you are Brahma, you are divine," you will not listen to him. He is talking nonsense... because you don't accept yourself, you reject yourself. You have to reach a goal.

Why has this happened in the mind of man? It has happened because of his childhood, and everybody passes through almost the same childhood. Only trivial things differ; otherwise, childhood has one basic element and that element creates the whole problem. The element is that no child is accepted as he is. A child is born... you were a child, and immediately the society, the parents, mother, father, brothers, people all around you start to change you, to make you more beautiful, to make you more moral, to make you better. As you are, you are wrong; something has to be done, only then can you be accepted.

And the child by and by starts to feel that he is not accepted. If he does a good thing, then he is accepted; if he does something wrong, then he is rejected. If he follows, obeys, he is accepted; if he disobeys, nobody loves him, he is hated, and everybody becomes angry. One thing he learns: that doing is the question, not being. Do the right thing and everybody will love you, do the wrong thing and everybody will reject you and hate you, be angry and be against you. you are not the point. Do something right and the world is welcoming, do something wrong and every door is closed. And if even father's and mother's door are closed - what to say about this strange world? - if even those who love him can't see the being of the child....

The child learns one thing, that to exist in this world this is basic: you should behave, you should always do the right thing, never do the wrong thing. This creates a deep rejection about himself because those wrong things go on coming up - just by saying that something is wrong, it is not dropped, it goes on coming. Then the child starts feeling guilty about himself, he rejects himself. He says, "I am no good. I am a bad child, a bad boy, a bad girl." And the problem is that things which we call wrong are natural, so the child cannot throw them, they have to persist.

Every boy, every girl, starts playing with their sex organs. It is enjoyable, it gives a soothing feeling, the whole body feels blissful. And the moment the child touches his sex organ, everybody stops him immediately - everybody feels embarrassed. The father, the mother, will stop him, they may even bind his or her hands so he cannot touch them. Now the child feels in a very deep riddle. What to do? He likes the feeling that comes from the touch, he enjoys the feeling, he feels it is beautiful, but if he is to follow that feeling then everybody rejects him. He is a bad child and they punish him. And they are powerful, so what to do?

"And such a wrong thing is happening to me," the child thinks. "It may be that only I am doing this wrong thing, nobody else is doing it." And he cannot know about others so he feels guilty: "The whole world is good, only I am guilty." This is a deep problem.

The child doesn't feel like eating, because he knows more about his hunger than you. But you follow a medical routine because the doctor says that after every three hours the child has to be fed. It is written in the books, and you have read the books and you are an enlightened parent, so after three hours, with the alarm, you have to feed him. Look at children when they are forcibly fed: they reject it, they will not open their mouths, the milk will flow down - they are rejecting everything. They will not even swallow because they know their hunger. They don't live by the routine, by the clock, they don't know what your medical science says. They are not hungry, that's all - and you are forcing food. And when they are hungry and they are crying, you will not give them food because this is not the right time. Who is to decide, the child or you?

If you decide, then you will create a guilt feeling in the child because he will think something is wrong:

"When I should feel hungry, I don't. When I should not feel hungry, I do." Saint Augustine has said, "God forgive me, because whatsoever is good I never do, and whatsoever is wrong I always do."

But this is every child's prayer. You decide, then guilt is created: the child is not feeling like going to the toilet and you force him. Toilet-training is such a guilt-creating thing - you cannot conceive of what you are doing. If the child is not feeling like it, how can he go? Try yourself - if you are not feeling like it, what can you do? And when the child is not feeling like it, you force him, you persuade him, you coax him, you bribe him - you try every method that you can. You are creating guilt: something is wrong, something is bad.

The child feels guilty and he cannot do anything about it. He does not know how to, because the body is not voluntary, it is a nonvoluntary phenomenon. The child doesn't feel like going to sleep, he is feeling perfectly alive, and he wants to run around the house or in the garden, and you say, "Go to sleep." What can you do if you are not feeling sleepy and somebody says, "Go to sleep"? You can close your eyes - but when the father is gone, the mother is gone, the child is simply left in an abyss, what to do? How to follow the order? How to be a good boy or a good girl?

Sin is created, and by and by the small child is poisoned. He becomes aware that, "I am not good.

Everything is wrong - whatsoever I do is wrong." If he plays he is wrong because he is creating noise, he is disturbing you. If he sits silently in a corner, something is wrong: "Are you ill?" He is always wrong only because he is helpless, nothing else, and you are powerful. He is continuously confused, he cannot sort out what to do and what not to do. And by and by he rejects all that is bad and he forces all that is thought good. He becomes a mask, and deep down in the unconscious all the wounds are carried his whole life.

That's why if I say, "As you are, you are God," you cannot believe it. You are not even good - how can you be God? God means the ultimate good. You are not even ordinarily good - how can you be God? You will not listen to me, you will go to some teacher who will condemn you, who will say you are guilty, you are a great sinner. Then you will be at ease: he is right because this is what you also feel. That's why you worship those people who can condemn you, who can look at you as if you are worms; ugly, dirty. If you see a great following around a saint, a so-called saint, you always find this reason: he is going to condemn everybody. He will say, "You are sinners, and if you don't listen to me you are going to be thrown into hell." He feels absolutely right because this is your feeling, he agrees with you. So whenever he condemns you, you feel good.

What absurdity! What nonsense! And you feel uneasy if somebody says, "You are good and I accept you - whatsoever you are, as you are. The divine has chosen this way to be, in you the divine has chosen this way to be, this is how the divine exists in you - and I accept it, I don't reject any part. I accept your sex, your anger, I accept your hatred, your jealousy. I accept you in your totality, because through this acceptance, when you are total, the one will happen - and that one immediately transcends all jealousies, all anger, all sex, all greed. Nobody can transform greed - one has to become one, then there is transformation."

That's why Jesus could not be forgiven, because Jews are the greatest guilt-creators. The whole world has done that, but no comparison to Jews. The whole world exists, according to Jews, because Adam and Eve committed the original sin. You are born out of Adam and Eve and their sin, man is born in sin - sin remains as the central concept. How can they accept that you are God?

You can be close to God if you repent, if you change yourself, if you become good. Then God the father will accept you; otherwise, as you are you cannot be accepted, you have to be thrown away and away and away from God.

And what was the sin of Adam and Eve? Their disobedience. But why should God be so obsessed with obedience? - because every father is, and your God is nothing but a cosmic father. Why should God be so obsessed with obedience? Couldn't he take a little joke? Couldn't he be a little playful with his children, who were enjoying themselves? Couldn't he take it a little less seriously? And what had they done? Just eaten one apple from a tree which God had forbidden. God seems to be very egoistic, because ego is always obsessed with obedience: "Follow me, I am the rule. If you disobey you hurt my ego." But God cannot have an ego, he cannot insist on obedience. This must be the priest, not God, who has created the whole story.

And then you feel guilty: you are born in sin, you are already a sinner when you are born; from your very birth you are a sinner. All that is left to you is to polish yourself, cut yourself here and there and make yourself acceptable.

Vedanta says you are not a sinner - you may be ignorant but you are not a sinner. This is a totally different attitude: God is not against you - you may be against God - and he is not taking any revenge on you. If you are ignorant you are creating your own trouble. This is a totally different attitude: if you are in ignorance you create your own trouble. If you ask Hindus, they will say you may have got into trouble because you ate the fruit of the tree of ignorance, not of knowledge. Man can be ignorant - he is, because he is not aware of himself, of who he is - and then everything goes wrong. But this is not a sin.

So religion means gaining more light, more knowledge, more awareness; not more morality, not more virtue. Virtue will be a byproduct. When you are aware, virtue will happen, it will follow like a shadow. When you are unaware, sin will follow because ignorance cannot do anything else, it can only commit mistakes.

Sin is like a mistake. It is just like somebody adding two to two and concluding five - but this is not a sin. If somebody thinks that two plus two makes five, will you think that now he is to be thrown into hell for eternity? It is a mistake, an error, but it is not a sin. He has to be taught, he has to be given a right perspective of things - he may not know mathematics, that's all.

Vedanta says you are simply unaware, ignorant of yourself. If you become aware, you are God himself. There is no God except you, other than you. But this is not an egoistic assertion, because this can happen only when the 'I', the center, has disappeared and you have become the all.



This is one of the greatest poetic assertions. And I would like to say to you that a man like Jesus is more like a poet than like a philosopher or a theologian or a mathematician. He is more like a poet, and if you miss his poetry you miss his message completely. If a poet says something, you can forgive him because you say, "It is mere poetry." But if a saint asserts something, you take it very seriously because much is at stake.

Jesus is a poet, a poet of the ultimate. And all those who have reached the ultimate are poets. The language of mathematics is very narrow, it cannot say much. It is very exact, that's why it is very narrow. Poetry is inexact, vague, that's why much can be said through it. But with a poet you have to remember this: that he is talking about mysteries.

Hindus have never killed any enlightened person. Why has it never happened? - because they thought that whatsoever they are saying, whatsoever they assert, is a poetic way to say a thing; you need not analyze it, otherwise it will be stupid. For example, if you go to Jesus and say, "Okay, if you say you are the light that is above them all, if you say you are the all, if you say, 'The all came from me and the all attained to me,' then show us, prove it. Tell the sun to go off, or create another moon tonight, then we will believe you" - then you are stupid, you have not followed, because it is a poetic assertion, it is not a scientific statement.

Because of this, Christians have continuously been trying to prove that he did miracles: that he created bread out of stone, he revived a dead man, he did this and that, he opened the eyes of those who were blind, he touched the lepers and they were healed. Why so much insistence on miracles?... because we have never paid any attention to Buddha as a miracle-maker, nobody ever bothered whether this man could do any miracle or not. But why so much insistence about Jesus? If somebody proves that he did not do the miracles, then the whole point will be lost - then Christianity will disappear.

Christianity depends not on Jesus, but on Jesus' miracles. If someday it is proved that he never raised a man from death, that he never cured a blind man, he never healed a leper, then Christianity will immediately disappear. There will be no church, no pope, everything will go - because they don't depend on Jesus directly, they depend on the miracles. Miracles prove that he is the son of God.

No miracle can prove anything. Miracles really prove the ignorance of those who are impressed by miracles, nothing else. As far as I know, Jesus never did anything of this sort. He was not so stupid as to do miracles to convince you. Miracles happened around him of far greater significance than you can think. Yes, blind people started seeing, but this is not concerned with the physical eye, it is concerned with a deeper spiritual blindness. Yes, dead people were revived, but this is not concerned with corpses, it is concerned with you who just think you are alive and are not. He made many dead people alive, he brought them to life from their corpselike existence. And this is a greater miracle, because the other miracle will be done by medical science any day now. And the day is not far off - it has already been done.

In Soviet Russia, in the second world war, they revived six men from death. They succeeded - two or three of them are still alive. This will be done by medical science any day now, this is nothing.

And once medical science is able to do it, what will you do with your Christ the miracle-maker? Then he may have been a very good doctor, a scientist, but not an enlightened man.

Eyes can be cured, they will be cured. The body is not the point, the body should not be the concern really. Jesus did miracles, but those miracles were spiritual, they were concerned with your inner being. You are blind because you cannot see yourself. What type of eyes do you have? A person who cannot see himself, what type of eyes does he have?

Jesus made you see; you looked into the inner world. He gave you eyes, right - but not these eyes that look into the world. This has to be understood. He never made any bread out of any stone, because this is foolish. But followers look for miracles, because they cannot see enlightenment, they cannot see christhood, a Krishna is invisible to them - they can only see a stone turning into bread.

They can only believe in this world, and if something is done to matter then it becomes a proof to them. That's why they follow magicians rather than enlightened persons, they follow people who can do tricks. And all tricks are useless, they prove nothing. They prove your ignorance, and they prove that the other man is cunning and exploiting you.

Jesus was not cunning, you cannot find such an innocent man. He was not cunning, he could not have been a miracle-maker, he was not a magician and he was not interested in exploiting your ignorance. And think, if he had really done these things - turned stones into bread, turned water into wine....

I have heard about one woman who was carrying whiskey in a bag and was entering into another country. At the border she was stopped and asked what she was carrying. She said, "Holy water."

But the man on the checkpost was suspicious, so he said, "I would like to look, because these people who carry holy water are always suspicious. Water is enough! Why 'holy'?" So he looked, and it was whiskey. So he said, "What!"

And the woman said, "Lord! See, the miracle again!"

Jesus turned water into whiskey? He revived dead people? Lazarus came out of his grave? Eyes were given? People who could not walk, walked; who could not see, could see again; who could not hear, started hearing? If these miracles really happened, then the Jews themselves would have believed that this was the man of God, because Jews are as materialistic as anybody. If these things had really happened, then the Jews would have become mad after this man. They are even more materialistic than any other race - but they didn't pay any attention.

It is impossible not to follow a man who is doing such things, because everybody is ill, and everybody is afraid of death, and everybody is in trouble, and this man is the right person: even if you die he will revive you again, if you are ill he will heal you, if you are poor, stones can become notes - anything is possible with this man. The whole Jewish race would have followed this man, but they didn't follow him, and he was crucified.

What is the reason? The reason is that miracles did happen, but they were not visible things. Only those who were near could feel those miracles. They did happen: Lazarus was dead - just as you are dead. If I make you alive, that will be something between me and you, nobody else will be aware of it. It will not be announced from the radio and the TV. Nobody else will be aware of it if I revive you in your inner world, this will be a matter between me and you. And you cannot prove it to anybody because it is invisible. That's why miracles happened, but Jesus' disciples could not prove them, they were such invisible phenomena. They looked within, but how can you prove that you have looked? No photograph can be taken, nobody else can be a witness to it.

They started going around and telling people, "We have seen miracles: those who cannot see have seen, those who were dead have become alive!" This created the trouble, and Jews started asking, "Show us! And if this man is really the son of God, and if he can do such miracles, then let us crucify him and see what happens. If he can revive others, he can resurrect himself - we will give him a crucifixion and he will not die. If he knows the secret of immortality, if he is such a healer, then we will make wounds in his body and we will see whether blood comes out of them or not."

It is because of these disciples' foolishness - that they started talking about miracles, which are inner things - that Jesus became a focal point for the whole country. He looked false, he was not the real, authentic messiah. Then people were waiting for some miracle to happen. Nothing happened - he died just like the other two criminals; just like the other two, simply the same - an ordinary human being. Nothing of God happened, no light descended from heaven; neither was the earth shaken, nor was there an earthquake, nor was God angry and roaring in the sky. Nothing! The son was crucified, and God remained absolutely silent.

That's why Jews have not recorded anything of Jesus: this man was a false man because he couldn't prove himself at the crucifixion. The crucifixion was the test, there it was to be proved whether he was a man of God or not. But those who could see, they saw a great miracle there also. Christians have missed that, and the Jews missed the first miracle because they were waiting for something outside to happen. It never happened and they forgot this man - he was an impostor.

Christians missed the inner thing that happened at the crucifixion. Only a few can see it. Those who have seen themselves can see what happened at the crucifixion: this man accepted - that was the miracle. This man suffered and accepted, this man suffered and still remained filled with love - that was the miracle. Those who were killing him, murdering him, he could pray even for them - that is the miracle, the greatest miracle that ever happened on earth.

The last words of Jesus were, "God, forgive them because they don't know what they are doing.

Don't punish them, because they are ignorant." This is the greatest miracle, at the crucifixion: the whole body is suffering, and he is dying - yet still filled with love. Anger would have been absolutely okay. If he had cried and cursed and said, "God, look what they are doing to your son. Kill them all!"

- that would have been ordinary, human. This is divine. At the crucifixion he proved that he was the son of God, because compassion remained pure. You could not poison his compassion, you could not destroy his prayer, you could not destroy his heart. Whatsoever you did, he accepted you. He would not reject you - even in that moment of suffering and misery he would not reject you. He said, "Forgive them, because they don't know what they are doing."

Miracles did happen but they were not miracles which the eyes can see, they were those which only the heart can feel. He was not a magician. If he had been a magician and really tried to turn stone into bread and tried to heal lepers into whole bodies, he would not be worth much, I would not bother about him at all. The whole thing is useless then.

But try to understand: as there is an inner blindness, there is an inner leprosy. You are so ugly, and you have done this ugliness to yourself: so guilt-ridden, fear-filled, jealous, anxious - this is the leprosy. It is eating your inner world like a worm; you are a wound inside. He healed, but that is a private thing. It happens between a master and the disciple; nobody else becomes aware of it. Even the disciple becomes aware only later on. The master becomes aware in the beginning that the wound is healed. It takes time for the disciple to become aware that the wound is healed.

Ordinarily, for many, many days he continues in the old idea that the wound is there - but nobody else can see it.

Jesus says, "I am the all." You are also the all - Jesus is simply saying that which should be known to everybody, which should be felt by everybody. You are the all, you are the source of the all, and the all is moving towards you. Jesus is just representative of you. He is not saying anything about himself, he is saying something about you. You are the mustard seed, he has become the blooming tree - he is making an assertion about you. He is saying, "I am the all." What does he mean? He says you also can become the all. You are already the all, but you are not aware of it.

Your misery is that you cannot remember who you are. Self-remembering is needed, nothing else is to be done. You have to become more conscious, more conscious. You have to raise your consciousness to a peak from where you can see. At that moment you become illuminated; no corner remains dark, your whole being becomes aflame. Then you will understand Jesus, then you will understand Buddha, then you will understand Krishna, or then you will understand me, because the whole effort is to make you aware of who you are.

Remember these words. Let them vibrate into your heart again and again, because through these words your seed will undergo a shaking:



Enough for today.

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