Chapter 9

[NOTE: This discourse is in the process of being edited for publication. It is for reference use only.]

Religion is experience, not thinking. Thought cannot be even the shadow of religion. And one who is entangled in thoughts will always remain far away from religion. No one is further away from religion than a thinker.

Just as love is an experience, this existence is also an experience. And if you want to experience it, it is possible only with one's totality.

The process of thinking is a small fragment of man - and a very superficial one. It has no depth. It is not part of the interiority, not of the center, it is on the periphery. Even if thinking stops man can live. And now thinking machines have been developed. They make it very clear that a machine too can think. It is no special glory of man.

Aristotle and thinkers like him have called man the thinking animal, the rational animal. This definition should be changed, because now computers can think - and with greater efficiency, with greater skill than man. Man makes mistakes but with computers there is no possibility of error.

Man's greatness is not in his thinking. Man's greatness is in his experience.

Just as when you taste something, the taste is not just a thought. ... it happened! It happened in your very cells. You are immersed in the joy of tasting.

When you drink wine, the effects of drinking are not only in your thoughts, your limbs begin wobbling.

Have you seen a drunkard walking? The wine has reached to his very cells! It is visible in his stride, in his eyes, it is visible in every move, it doesn't just show in his thoughts, but encompasses his totality.

Religion is like wine - one who drinks it will know. One who drinks it and becomes delighted, will experience it.

Janak's words were uttered in a moment filled with this wine. If you consider them without tasting there is a possibility of misunderstanding and his meaning will seem something quite different. Then you will add your own interpretations.

For example when Krishna says in the Gita, "Drop everything Arjuna and surrender at my feet."

When you read it you will feel this declaration is very egotistic: "Drop everything Arjuna and come to my feet." To 'my' feet!

Then the meaning you give to this 'my' will be yours, not Krishna's. In Krishna no I remains. It is just a reference. It is only a symbol. For you the symbol is much more. In your illusion the symbol has become the truth. For Krishna it is merely practical, not indicating anything more.

You have seen, if someone spits on the national flag it will cause a fight, it will result in bloodshed, it can cause a war. "He spit on the national flag!" But have you ever thought that the national flag is a

symbol of the nation and you spit on the nation every day, but nobody starts fighting. Nobody starts a fight if you spit on the earth. Whenever you spit you are spitting on the nation - wherever you spit.

Nobody starts a fight if you spit on the nation. The symbol of the nation, merely an indication, just an ordinary piece of cloth - but if someone spits on it then even war can happen.

Man gives great importance to symbols - more importance than they have. In his blindness man lives in symbols.

When Krishna uses the word 'I' it is only practical. He has to speak so he uses it. He wants to communicate so he uses it. But after speaking there is no 'I'. If you look into Krishna's eyes you will not find any 'I', only ultimate silence is there, only emptiness. The 'I' has disappeared. This is why Krishna can easily say, "Come, come to my feet!" When he says to come to my feet, we feel it is very egotistical, because we interpret 'I' as we know it.

These words of Janak will surprise you even more. These statements are unique on this earth.

Krishna had at least said, "Come to my feet." These assertions of Janak are such that you will not believe them.

Janak says in them, "Amazing, my nature! Amazing, my light! Surprising! What am I? I go to my own feet! I bow down to myself!" It will shock you.

In these statements Janak bows down to himself; the other no longer remains. He says again and again, AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF.

IMPERISHABLE AM I - "I am so filled with awe, I myself am in wonder. I bow down to myself, because all will perish, but still I will remain. From brahma to the smallest atoms all will be destroyed, but still I will remain. I bow down to myself. Who is skilled like me? I am in the world and yet unattached, in the water like a lotus leaf. I bow down to myself."

Mankind has never heard such a declaration: "I bow down to my very self." You will think, "This is ultimate egotism. It would be alright if he said it to others, but he is touching his own feet...!"

It is told about Ramakrishna that an artist came and painted his portrait. When he brought the completed portrait, the devotees of Ramakrishna felt very strange because Ramakrishna looked at the picture and started to touch the feet in it. It was his own picture. He began to bow down to it. A devotee said, "Paramahansa, are you going mad? This is your own picture."

Ramakrishna said, "It's good you reminded me, I was seeing a picture of samadhi. It must have been painted while I was in samadhi. It's good you remind, otherwise people will think I am crazy. I was just starting to pay my respects to samadhi. This is a picture of samadhi, not of me."

But those that saw it must have understand that the man has gone mad. Touching the feet of his own picture! Bowing his head to his own picture! What can be more insane? This is the last word in egotism, there can be no heights of ego beyond this.

Janak is making these statements in ecstasy. The taste has arisen. He has become oblivious. If he could dance he would dance like Meera. If he could sing like Chaitanya he would sing. If he could play flute like Krishna he would play on his flute.

Each individual has his own unique possibilities of expression. Janak was an emperor, a cultured man, a well educated person, brilliant, the essence of brilliance - his statements are worthy of being written in gold letters in the history of man. To understand these words, put aside your own interpretations.

Some day I'm going to look into this world, the life of man is a window into wisdom.

What kind of thing is this intellect which stops my joyful heart in every activity, which interferes with everything.

Creating beauty with meaning is the inspiration of a poet. Getting entangled in words is the art of the mere rhymester.

What kind of thing is this intellect which stops my joyful heart in every activity, which interferes with everything.

Whenever waves arise in the heart, intellect immediately stops them. Whenever some feeling goes deep, intellect immediately starts meddling.

What kind of thing is this intellect which stops my joyful heart in every activity, which interferes with everything.

Put this intellect aside a little - just for a little while, just for a moment. In these moments the clouds will scatter and the sun will be seen. If you cannot put this intellect aside it will go on interfering. It is in the habit of questioning. Its nature is to interfere. Its juice is in meddling.

And religion comes through the heart, those waves will be spoiled. The mind will influence them and they will be lost. Your understanding will be completely wrong.

Creating beauty with meaning is the inspiration of a poet.

A real poet, a seer, a sage, gives all his attention to meaning - Creating beauty with meaning is the inspiration of a poet. - the flowers of meaning that blossom in his imagination, to the fragrance of meaning.

Getting entangled in words is the art of the mere rhymester.

But one who is just rhyming verses gets entangled in words. He is not a poet. The rhyme maker just goes on joining words to words. He has no use for meaning, getting words to fit together is enough.

Intellect is a rhyme maker, a rhymester. The secret of meaning, the mystery of meaning is hidden in the heart. You will be able to listen only when you put aside the mind.

I have heard that Mulla Nasruddin went into a cloth shop and asked about a particular cloth, "Brother, what is the price of this cloth?"

The shopkeeper said, "Mulla, its five rupees per meter."

Mulla said, "Will you give it for four and a half rupees?"

The shopkeeper said, "Sir, even to take it home will cost me four and a half."

So Mulla said, "Good, that's fine. I'll just take it home."

Man goes on putting his own interpretations on things.

A patient asked a dentist, "Can you pull a tooth without pain?"

The dentist said, "Not always. Just yesterday I dislocated my wrist while twisting on someone's tooth."

The dentist has his own pain. The one who came to have a tooth pulled has other worries, his own pain.

Mulla Nasruddin was given a job somewhere. The boss said, "When you were given this job you said that you never got tired and now you are sleeping with your feet stretched out on the desk."

Mulla said, "Boss, this is the secret of my not getting tired."

We go on interpreting our own way. And as long as we go on interpreting, the meaning of the sutras will not be apparent. A special art is needed to read sutras. To read sutras a mind free of projections is needed, a mind emptied of projections. Reading sutras don't be in a hurry to interpret:

the capacity of listening, of tasting, of relishing joyfully and patiently is needed.

Listen to these sutras:

LIGHT IS MY VERY NATURE. I AM NOT OTHER THAN LIGHT. WHEN THE UNIVERSE IS ILLUMINATED, IT IS ILLUMINATED BY MY LIGHT ONLY.

Janak says this whole universe is illuminated by my light.

Certainly this light Janak is talking about cannot be the light of the 'I'. This light can only be a light void of I. Hence don't look at the language, don't be a rhyme maker, don't let the intellect meddle.

The meaning is plain and simple, don't twist and distort it.

LIGHT IS MY VERY NATURE. If one is to speak, one has to speak this way, because language belongs to the ignorant. The enlightened have no language. If two enlightened ones meet they remain silent, what is there to say? There is neither language, nor anything to say; neither any subject to speak on, nor the language to say it in.

It is told that when Farid and Kabir met, they remained silent for two days. They took each others hands in their own, they embraced each other, tears flowed in streams, they began swaying in great ecstasy.

Their disciples freaked out. The disciples had a great expectation that, "If they speak together it will shower on us too. If they say something we can also hear it. If we catch even a single word, it will give meaning to life."

But they didn't speak. Two days passed. Those two days became very long. The disciples were waiting while Kabir and Farid sat silently. Finally, when they had left, when Kabir had seen Farid off, Farid's disciples asked, " What happened? Why didn't you speak? Ordinarily you are always speaking. If we ask anything you speak. And we had brought you together with Kabir in the hope that there would be some talk between you, some juice would flow, so that we unfortunate ones could also drink a little of it. We brought the two banks together so that if the Ganges flows we can bathe in it, but the Ganges didn't flow. What happened?"

Farid explained, "There was nothing to be said between Kabir and me, nor any language to say it in. Neither anything to ask, nor anything to say. Much was present there, a current was flowing, the Ganges flowed but not in words, in silence."

Kabir's disciples asked him the same thing, "What happened? Why did you become silent? It seemed as if you have always been a deaf-mute!"

Kabir said, "Idiots! If I speak in front of Farid I prove myself ignorant. Whoever speaks proves ignorant. Where not speaking will do, there is no question of speaking. Where a needle can do the job, only a madman raises a sword. It was already happening without speaking. An immense stream was flowing. Didn't you see how the tears were flowing, what ecstasy there was?"

Words are not needed between two enlightened ones. Between two unenlightened ones there are words heaped upon words, but without any meaning. Between two enlightened ones there are meanings within meanings, but without any words. Between an enlightened one and an unenlightened one there are both words and meaning. For dialogue an enlightened one and an unenlightened one are needed.

Between two unenlightened there will be argument. Dialogue is not possible, conversation is not possible: only clashing of minds is possible.

Between two enlightened ones there is no verbal conversation. In some deeper world their centers are meeting. Union is happening, what need is there of conversation? Without speaking it is communicated, without talking about it darshan happens.

The possibility of dialogue exists between an unenlightened and an enlightened person. If the enlightened one is ready to speak and the unenlightened is ready to listen, then dialogue is possible.

In one sense the meaning of sutras from scriptures is always paradoxical. Because what the scripture says cannot be said, it is an attempt to say the unsayable. It is a great kindness that innumerable enlightened ones have tried to say that which cannot be said. They have wanted us to lift our eyes where we have long forgotten to lift them. They have given us a little vision of the sky.

We crawl and wriggle along on the ground, we have stopped raising our heads.

It is said that when Mansoor was captured and hung on the cross he began to laugh. A crowd of one hundred thousand had gathered and someone asked, "Mansoor, why are you laughing?"

Mansoor said, "I am laughing because, yes, it is good that I have been crucified, at least you have raised your eyes a little bit!"

He was hung on a cross so people had to turn their faces up to see. So Mansoor said, "At least - even by this excuse - you had to raise your eyes towards the sky. Hence I am happy - this crucifixion was right. Perhaps looking up at me you will see what it is hidden within me. Perhaps in this moment of death, from the impact of this death, your thought processes will stop and for a moment the sky will open and you will have a vision of that one that I am."

LIGHT IS MY VERY NATURE. I AM NOT OTHER THAN LIGHT. I am not separate from light.

This inner source of light is achieved when the 'I' has gone. But how can one say it? When it is to be described then the 'I' has to be brought in again.

WHEN THE UNIVERSE IS ILLUMINATED IT IS ILLUMINATED BY MY LIGHT ONLY.

Certainly Janak is not talking here about the person named Janak. That person has disappeared, that individual wave is gone - only the ocean remains. This ocean is everyone's. This declaration of Janak's is not only about himself, it is also about you. It is about everyone who has ever been, it as about everyone who will ever be. This proclamation is for the whole existence.

Learn to be obliterated, then the taste of this will start coming. And when the taste comes declarations like this will arise from you too. It is difficult to stop them.

Mansoor knew that if he makes this sort of statement - "Anal Haq - I am the truth, I am the divine existence" - then he will be crucified. The Muslim crowd will not be able to tolerate him. This crowd of blind people will not be able to see him. Still he proclaimed. His friends told him not to make such claims, these proclamations will be dangerous. Mansoor also knew that it will be dangerous, but he could not stop such declarations.

When the flower blossoms its fragrance will have to be shared. When the lamp is lit, its light will have to spread. Then whatever happens, happens.

One of Rahim's sayings is:

Welfare /khair, murder, coughing, happiness, hate, love, intoxication: Rahim says try to repress they remain unrepressed, the whole world will know.

There are some things that cannot be suppressed. Drinking ordinary wine how can you suppress its effects?

It usually happens that the more a drinker tries to hide his drunkenness the more it shows. Have you ever noticed a drunkard trying hard to prevent anyone from knowing? He speaks very cautiously, and this is what gives him away. He tries to walk with great care and this is what makes him stagger.

He wants to show his alertness so no one will know.

Mulla Nasruddin came home drunk one night. As he was returning he thought hard how to keep his wife from knowing. What should he do? He thought let me read the Koran. Has anyone heard of a drunk reading from the Koran? If I read the Koran then it will be clear that I am not drunk. Have drunkards ever read the Koran?

He got home, lit a lamp and sat reading the Koran. Finally his wife came and gave him a good jerk, saying "Stop this nonsense! What are you doing sitting here with this suitcase open?"

How can a drunkard find the Koran? He took the suitcase, opened it and started reading.

It is impossible to conceal it. And when ordinary wine cannot be hidden how can divine wine be hidden? Ecstasy will be reflected in the eyes. The eyes will become intoxicated. The flavor of another world will color one's speech. The speech will become rainbow-like, expanding all seven colors. Speaking ordinary prose becomes pure poetry. Talk and it sounds just like a song. Move and it feels like a dance. No, it cannot be hidden.

Welfare /khair, murder, coughing, happiness, hate, love, intoxication: Rahim says try to repress they remain unrepressed, the whole world will know.

It goes on being revealed.

Revelation is the nature of truth. As soon as truth happens within you your declaration starts unknowingly being disclosed.

Janak did not say these words after thinking it over: he would have hesitated to say them if he had thought about it. He had just brought Ashtavakra there, Asthavakra said a few things and Janak's enlightenment happened! He would have held back if he considered it intellectually, thinking, "What will Ashtavakra think: an ignorant man like me saying such things? This is appropriate only to realized ones. Does it ever happen so quickly? Just hearing about it it happens? Has it ever happened this way? It takes time, it takes many lives, it is a very arduous journey. It is like walking on the edge of a sword." He would have remembered all this and thought to himself, "Don't make such a far reaching declaration!"

But I want to remind you that this declaration is happening by itself. It is not right to say that Janak is speaking, it will be more correct to say it is being said through Janak.

AMAZING THAT THROUGH IGNORANCE THE IMAGINARY UNIVERSE APPEARS IN ME, JUST AS SILVER APPEARS IN MOTHER OF PEARL, A SNAKE IN A ROPE, OR A MIRAGE IN THE RAYS OF THE SUN.

... just like the illusion of silver appearing in mother of pearl, like the projection in the dark of a snake on a rope and like the illusion of an oasis in a desert appearing because of the sun's rays, like this mirages are born.

Amazing! The happening happened so suddenly, it happened so forcefully - his enlightenment happened so quickly that Janak cannot contain it. He is filled with awe. As if a small child has entered into the world of fairies and everything captivates him and everything is beyond belief.

Tertullian has said: "As long as I had not seen god, there was disbelief. And when I saw god, then too there was disbelief."

He disciples asked: "We don't understand. We have heard that when one sees god then faith comes?"

Tertullian said, "As long as one has not seen there is disbelief - how can god exist? Impossible! How can there be faith without experience? And when the experience of god happens then one cannot believe that so much bliss is possible! So much light! So much nectar! It still seems impossible.

When it hasn't happened it seems impossible, and when it happens it seems even more absurd."

Janak is in exactly the same state:

"Amazing! Everything is just imagined. Only I am true, only the witness is true everything else is illusory, everything else is maya?"

THE UNIVERSE WHICH HAS EMANATED FROM ME WILL DISSOLVE INTO ME, JUST AS A POT DISSOLVES INTO CLAY, A WAVE INTO WATER, OR A BRACELET INTO GOLD.

Do you see the transformation? Janak's human form is disappearing and his existential form is manifesting.

Swami Ramteerth went to America. He was an ecstatic person. Someone asked him who created the universe? He must have been in ecstasy, it must have been a moment of samadhi - he said, "I did." In America no one is going to listen to such a thing. Here it is alright, in India it's accepted, even this kind of expression is accepted. It became a great sensation there.

People asked, "Are you in your senses? You made the moon and stars?"

Ram said, "I made them. I set them in motion, and they have been moving ever since."

To understand this statement is difficult. And it is not surprising if his American listeners couldn't understand. It is natural. This statement is not Ram's or if it is it is the real Rama's - not Ramteerth's.

At this moment Ramteerth is not speaking as a wave, he is speaking as the ocean. He is peaking as the eternal, the immortal, not speaking as the momentary. Not speaking as a man limited and defined by body and mind - speaking as the one beyond body and mind, undefinable, unknown. It is Rama speaking through Ram, not Ramteerth himself. This declaration is from existence itself.

But it is very difficult, very hard to accept it.

Ram returned to India... he had gone on a pilgrimage to the source of the Ganges. He had been bathing in the Ganges and he jumped into it from a mountain. He left behind a short note that said, "Now Ram goes to meet his original form. The call has come, now I cannot stay in this body. The universe has called me!"

The newspapers printed the news that he had committed suicide. It is true, the newspapers were also right. He jumped into the river and committed suicide. But if anyone asked Ram he would say, "You say I committed suicide? I only broke the bounds and became one with the universe. I removed the barrier in between. I have not died. I was as if dead, now I have become alive, now I am one with the universe. Now that small stream of life has become the ocean. I let go of the limitaton, not of life itself. Now I have achieved real life, by letting go of the limitation."

Hence it is necessary to remember this always that when samadhi becomes stronger inside of you, when the clouds of samadhi gather within you, the rain is not of your ego, your I-ness. That rain comes from beyond you, it transcends you.

In this moment Janak's personality is going.

THE UNIVERSE WHICH HAS EMANATED FROM ME WILL DISSOLVE INTO ME JUST AS A POT DISSOLVES INTO CLAY, A WAVE INTO WATER, OR A BRACELET INTO GOLD.

When there was nothing god was, when there will be nothing god will be. I am drowned in being, if I were not then what would be?

'I am drowned in being' ... we will say Ramteerth committed suicide. Ramteerth will say, "'I am drowned in being' ... it was when I drowned in the Ganges that for the first time I existed. As long as 'I' was, I was drowned."

When there was nothing god was, when there will be nothing god will be. I am drowned in being, if I were not then what would be?

' - god will be.' Existence is!

This I, this limitation of being - when someone removes it as if taking off his clothes, he sees the truth.

Like a snake sloughing off its old skin as it slides along - this is exactly how it happened to Janak.

Ashtavakra was there as a catalyst.

Scientists have discovered catalytic agents. They say that some substances don't take an active part in certain reactions, but without their presence the reaction will not take place.

You have seen lightning flashing in the rains. Scientists say that water is made from combining oxygen with hydrogen, but hydrogen and oxygen will combine only when lightning is present. If lightning is not present they will not react. Still lightning does not take any part in it, lightning does not get involved in bringing hydrogen and oxygen together - only its presence.... Scientists call this kind of presence a catalytic agent.

The master is a catalytic agent. He doesn't do anything but without his presence nothing will happen. In his presence something happens, although he doesn't do anything. Just his presence...

understand it like this: his energy surrounds you. Engulfed in this energy field, strength arises in you - the strength is yours. Songs start exploding - the songs are yours. Declarations start to happen - the declarations are yours. But without the presence of the master perhaps they would not happen.

The presence of Ashtavakra worked as a catalytic agent. Janak must have been reminded of his forgotten home seeing Ashtavakra's gentle, silent, highest state. Looking deep into those eyes, seeing that infinite expanse he must have recalled his own lost and forgotten potential. Hearing Ashtavakra's words - soaked in truth, soaked in experience - his own taste must have been aroused.

I have heard about a man who raised a lion as a pet. He brought it home it was a tiny cub whose eyes were yet to open. The lion had never eaten meat, had never tasted blood. He was a vegetarian lion. He ate vegetables and bread. He didn't have any idea... He had no reason to know. But one day the man was sitting in his chair when he scratched his leg and a little blood oozed out. The

lion was sitting nearby. Sitting there he licked up the blood with his tongue. It was enough! In one moment, he changed. The lion roared. There was violence in that roar. Until then he was a perfect Jaina - suddenly he became a lion. Until then he was a vegetarian, and he made only the sounds of a pure vegetarian. Although he still had not not eaten any meat - only tasting a few drops of blood - but he was reminded. The dormant capacity of being a lion that had been sleeping in every cell awoke. Something woke up. Something started stretching its limbs. The one who was asleep opened his eyes. He stood up growling. Soon he started attacking. It became impossible to keep him at home. He had to be set loose in the jungle. He had been asleep for so long - that was the first time he remembered who he was.

Under Ashtavakra's influence Janak remembered who he was. If Janak was saying these words after thinking about it beforehand he would not have spoken, he would have hesitated. Is this something easy to say:

THE UNIVERSE WHICH HAS EMANATED FROM ME WILL DISSOLVE INTO ME JUST AS A POT DISSOLVES INTO CLAY, A WAVE INTO WATER, OR A BRACELET INTO GOLD.

Under Ashtavakra's influence, in Ashtavakra's presence he awoke. The lion that had been sleeping for lives, began to roar! He remembered his own nature, he remembered his being. This is the meaning of satsang.

Great importance has been given to satsang in the East. In Western languages there is no equivalent word for it, because the West does not understand the significance of satsang.

The meaning of satsang is simply sitting near one who has known, and the taste becomes infectious.

Getting absorbed in the waves of someone who has known, the forgotten waves sleeping within you are activated, they begin vibrating.

The meaning of satsang is simply seeing one who has gone beyond you, seeing that he has gone ahead, a challenge is provoked within you. You also have to go! Then it is difficult to stop.

The meaning of satsang is not so much listening to the master's words, as it is drinking the presence of the master, as it is letting the master come deep inside, it is vibrating in one rhythm with the master.

The master is living in a certain vibe. When you are near the master his vibration provokes the same kind of vibration in you. And even if only for a short while, you too enter into another world, the gestalt changes. Your way of looking at things changes. For a little while you look through the eyes of the master, hearing through the ears of the master.

I want to make it clear to you, that although Janak said these words, still these words are Ashtavakra's. It says "Janak said," but I want to remind you it is really "Ashtavakra said." The presence of Ashtavakra and what Ashtavakra had said to him became so strong that Janak was gone, Janak was washed away in the flood, his abode is gone without a trace, that house had collapsed. Someone else has started speaking:

THE UNIVERSE WHICH HAS EMANATED FROM ME WILL DISSOLVE INTO ME JUST AS A POT DISSOLVES INTO CLAY, A WAVE INTO WATER, OR A BRACELET INTO GOLD.

I am that wander-loose traveller, yet I am my own destination. What shall I gain from existence? I myself am the culmination of existence.

"I am that wander-loose traveller..." I am a pilgrim gone far astray, a traveller, who has lost himself, "... yet I am my own destination." I don't know it but I am my own destination. The destination is not somewhere outside. I have gone astray because I have not closed my eyes and looked inside.

Otherwise there is no need to wander. I have gone astttray because I have not closed my eyes and looked inside. I have gone astray because I have not made any effort to know myself. And where I am searching for the goal, the goal cannot be possible.

"... that wander-loose traveller, yet I am my own destination." This is the reason for straying: the goal is inside and we are looking outside. The lamp is burning within, but the the light falls without.

Seeing the light that falls without, we start running, thinking that the source of light is also outside.

The light that falls outside is our own. The fragrance that comes outside is the fragrance that we have given off, it is reflected, it is an echo. We are running after this echo.

There is a Greek story, about Narcissus. A very beautiful young man. He got into great difficulty. He was sitting on the shore of a lake - a calm, beautiful lake without any waves. He saw his reflection in it. He was became infatuated with his own reflection. He fell in love with it. He became so mad that he never left that place. He forgot hunger and thirst. He became Majnu and took his own reflection as his beloved Laila. The reflection was beautiful, again and again he went into the lake to catch hold of it. But when he went in the lake was disturbed, waves arose and the reflection disappeared.

Again he would sit on the bank. When the lake became calm it would appear again. It is said he went mad. He died on the shore of that lake.

He must have seen the narcissus plant. It is a Western plant, found on the banks of rivers. It has been named in memory of Narcissus. It grows on the bank of a river and looks at its reflection, goes on looking at its own flowers in the water.

But everyone is a Narcissus. What we are seeking is within us. But where we are searching there are only reflections, only echoes. There is no way to find anything in echoes. We must turn towards the original source.

I am that wander-loose traveller, yet I am my own destination. What shall I gain from existence? - what have I got to do with life?

I myself am the essence of existence.

I myself am the conclusion of life. I don't have anything to get from or give to life. I am not searching for some meaning in life - I am myself the meaning of life. I am the conclusion of life, the epitome of life. I am its ultimate flower, its final stage, its highest peak.

But one who is searching for meaning in life continuously experiences meaningless. This has happened in the modern world - meaning has disappeared. People say what meaning is there in living? Such a disaster has never happened before. It is not that there were not intelligent people before - there were very intelligent people, it is difficult to find anyone to compare them with. There were people like Buddha, Zarathustra, Lao Tzu, Ashtavakra. What greater peak of intelligence can

there be? What great brilliance can there be? But none of them ever said there is no meaning in life.

Intelligent people in the modern age - whether it is Sartre or Camus or Kafka - all say there is no meaning in life. Meaningless, perverse, a tale told by an idiot. The meaningless babble of an idiot.

Incoherent prattle! "A tale told by an idiot full of noise and fury signifying nothing!" No meaning, no substance, just useless nonsense - this is life!

What happened? Why has life suddenly become meaningless? Is it not that we are looking for meaning in the wrong direction? Because Krishna says that life is immensely meaningful. Krishna says that life is filled with ultimate meaning and brilliant light. And Buddha says that ultimate peace, ultimate bliss are hidden in life. Ashtavakra says that life is pure godliness. There must be some mistake, we must be missing something. Somehow we are searching in the wrong direction.

What have I gotten from existence? I myself am the culmination of existence.

When we search outside, life seems meaningless. When we search within, life becomes full of meaning: we ourselves are the meaning of life.

AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD PERISHES FROM BRAHMA DOWN TO THE VERY CLUMPS OF GRASS I SHALL NOT PERISH. IMPERISHABLE AM I.

Such a wonderful statement had never been uttered before, nor has it been said since. Do you see how wonderful this statement is: "I bow down to myself!" Certainly this is not Janak's statement. This is an expression of the ultimate happening that has taken place. This is the voice of one in samadhi.

This is music of samadhi.

I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD PERISHES FROM BRAHMA DOWN TO THE VERY CLUMPS OF GRASS I SHALL NOT PERISH.

All shall be destroyed, I will not be destroyed. All are born, all die - I am not born, I will not die.

I am amazed. I myself am in awe! I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD PERISHES FROM BRAHMA DOWN TO THE VERY CLUMPS OF GRASS... their time comes and goes. They are all events, waves happening in time. I am the witness! I watch them being created and destroyed. They are an acting, a play, a drama happening before my very eyes. They are illuminated by the light of my eyes and absorbed back into it.

... Brahma too! Those who you worship in the temple - Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva - they come and go. There is only one thing in the universe that does not come and go. It is you - you freed from yourself. And when you are free of yourself, you find you have bowed down at your own feet! You find existence totally revealed within you. You find that what you were searching for had always been present inside of you, waiting.

AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF.

AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. ALTHOUGH I HAVE A BODY, I AM ONE.

Two appear, but still I am non-dual. This appearance of two is only on the outside, like seeing the branches of a tree. If you count the branches there are many. If you come down the tree to the trunk

they all become one. It is just the same in the world, many are seen but coming back to the source, they become one. It is the expanse of the one.

AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. ALTHOUGH I HAVE A BODY, I AM ONE. I NEITHER GO ANYWHERE NOR COME FROM ANYWHERE BUT EXIST SURROUNDING THE UNIVERSE.

Listen! Janak is saying that I exist surrounding the world, I have encircled the world. I am the definition of the world. I am unlimited. The world is inside of me.

Usually we see ourselves as inside the world. This is an unparalleled transformation. The whole gestalt has changed.

Janak says the world exists inside of me. Like clouds arising in the sky and disappearing, whole ages arise and dissolve in me. I am formless, I am the witness, I am only the observer, I am surrounding all.

Understand it like this: when you were a child then one form was contained in your sky - childhood.

Then you became a young man, and that form disappeared and another cloud surrounded you. You assumed a new form, you became a young man. When you were a child you didn't have any idea of sex. Even if someone explained you would be unable to understand. When you became young, new desires arose, desire put on new clothes, new colors flowered, your life took on a new style.

Then you started getting old. Youth also left. The noise and clamor of youth also went. Desires too washed away. Now you are surprised, that you went down into those desires. Now you are shocked to think that you were such an idiot, that you were so foolish.

One day or another every old man - if he has really succeeded in seeing life a little - is filled with surprise at, "What kinds of things I was running after - money, power, infatuations, women or men, running after all sorts of things. What all was I chasing after? I really chased around like that? I cannot believe that I could be in such dreams."

In Arabia there is a saying that if a young man cannot cry he is not truly young and if an old man cannot laugh he is not truly old. A young man who cannot cry he is not truly young because one who cannot cry, who cannot let tears flow, his feelings are blunted, there are no waves of feeling, no enjoyment. One who cannot suffer in misery is not young, he is stone-hearted. His heart has not flowered, it is still unflowered. And an old man that cannot laugh - at this whole life and at himself - what idiocy! What foolishness! - then he is not truly old. An old man is one who can laugh at all this idiocy - his own and everyone else's and say what great foolishness! People are running like mad - after those things that have no significance. Now he can see there is no real value.

Sometimes you are young, sometimes you are old. Sometimes clouds take one form, then another, and yet another. But have you ever thought that inside you are one? The one who had seen childhood is the same one who saw youth. The one who saw youth is the same one who saw old age. You are the observer. The one who stands back and sees is exactly the same. When you sleep at night your observer watches dreams. When there are no dreams, only deep sleep, dreamless sleep - then your observer watches dreamless sleep, what a good deep sleep...! This is why sometimes when you wake up in the morning you say what a deep sleep you had. Who observed it? If you were totally asleep, no seer left inside of you, then who saw it? Who knew? Who

found out? Who is saying it? Getting up in the morning who says last night I slept very deeply? If you were sound asleep then who is the one who knows? Certainly someone remains awake inside of you, in some corner a lamp goes on burning and seeing that sleep is deep, very restful, very delightful, very peaceful, without a wave of dreaming, no tension, no thought! Someone goes on seeing. In the morning the seer says last night sleep was very deep. If the night was full of dreams then you say in the morning, "I spent the night dreaming, who knows how many bad dreams I had."

Certainly the seer was not lost in dreams. Certainly the seer did not become a dream. The seer remained standing apart.

Then in the day you see the world with open eyes. At your business you are a businessman. With your friend you are a friend, with your enemy you are an enemy. You come home - with your wife you are a husband, with your son you are a father, with your father you are a son. Thousands and thousands of forms...! You see all this. But you are the seer beyond all these. Sometimes you see success, sometimes failure; sometimes illness, sometimes health; sometimes good days, sometimes bad days - but one thing is fixed, these all come and go: you neither come nor go.

AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. ALTHOUGH I HAVE A BODY, I AM THAT ONE. I NEITHER GO ANYWHERE NOR COME FROM ANYWHERE...

... neither going nor coming. Just being. This just being is your nature.

BUT EXISTS SURROUNDING THE UNIVERSE. - and I have included the universe in me. This is your world. This world is inside of you, you are not inside of it. You are the master of it, you are not its slave. The very moment you decide to, you can spread your wings and fly away! If you are inside of it, it is of your own choice, no one has forced you. If you remember this much then there is no problem. Then if you accept any limitation of your own free will, bondage is no longer bondage.

Then whatever you choose, whatever you want to do you can do. But never forget one thing, that you are not the doer, the doer is again a form. You are are not the enjoyer, the enjoyer is a form.

You are the witness. This is your very immortality.

In the East the goal of our greatest seeking has been to find that which is beyond time, not bound by time. What is created and falls deteriorates in the flow of time is a reflection. Only what stands beyond time as a witness is true.

AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. NONE HERE IS AS CAPABLE AS I...

Do you hear? Janak is saying no one is as capable as I am!

... WHO HAVE BEEN UPHOLDING THE UNIVERSE FOR AN ETERNITY WITHOUT EVEN TOUCHING IT WITH THE BODY.

This is art, skillfulness.

"Who is as skillful as I? As capable as I? I haven't touched the body, I have never touched it!" There is no way to touch it because your nature and the nature of the body are so different that touching is not possible, touching cannot happen. You are simply the witness, you can only see. The body is the observed, it can only be seen. You and the body cannot meet. You exist in the body, the body

exists in you - but without touching - as if at an infinite distance! Their natures are so different that you cannot mix them.

You can mix milk with water, but you cannot mix water with oil. Their natures are different. Water will mix with milk because milk is water in the first place, more than ninety percent water. Hence water will mix with milk. But you cannot mix water with oil, they just won't mix. They cannot mix. Their natures are different.

Still it can be that perhaps scientists will find some method of mixing oil and water, because no matter how different they are, both are matter. But there is no way to mix the conscious and the inert, because the inert is matter and the conscious is not matter. There is no way to mix the observer and the observed. The observer remains the observer, and the observed remains the observed.

Hence Janak says I am filled with wonder, I have become wonder itself! What is this capacity of mine, I have done so many actions and still I am unattached. I have enjoyed so much but still no trace of attachment pulls on me!

As if you are writing on water, you go on writing and nothing is written - with the witness you go on doing things, enjoying things but nothing is written, everything disappears like lines on water. You don't manage to write and already they disappear.

NONE HERE IS AS CAPABLE AS I, WHO HAVE BEEN UPHOLDING THE UNIVERSE FOR AN ETERNITY WITHOUT EVEN TOUCHING IT WITH THE BODY.

He resides as master in thy heart. He is not separate from than thy heart. A thousand times it seems He is separate from thee, but never consider Him separate.

We can go on telling ourselves we are united with the body but we cannot be united. And we can go on telling ourselves we are separate from the divine but we cannot be separated. And we understand only when we understand both of these together. As long as you think you are united with the body, on the other side you will also think your connection with the divine is broken. The day day you know you are joined to the divine. The day you will know: Oh! Wonder of wonders I had never been united with the body!

He resides as master in thy heart. He is not separate from thy heart.

That highest truth resides in your heart. 'He resides as master in thy heart.' He has built his house there. 'He is not other than thy heart.'

A thousand times it seems He is separate from thee, but never consider Him as separate.

No matter how much you are feeling that you are separate, don't consider yourself separate, because there is no way to be separate. There is no possibility of being separate from the divine and there is no way to one with the world. Although we have been doing this which is not possible for life after life. The day you wake up - and certainly you will awaken one day, because if one is asleep, how long can he go on sleeping? Because awakening is the nature of a sleeper - that's

what falling asleep means. Sleep gives the indication that one can wake up, that awakening is his potential. How can one who cannot awaken fall asleep? Only one who can awaken can fall asleep.

You will wake up one day or another. When you wake up you too will feel: "NONE HERE IS AS CAPABLE AS I, WHO HAVE BEEN UPHOLDING THE UNIVERSE FOR AN ETERNITY WITHOUT EVEN TOUCHING IT WITH THE BODY. And I have upheld this universe, no one else is supporting it. I have not touched it and still I am supporting it.

Zen masters say cross the river but remember the water cannot touch you. They are saying that if you understand what witnessing is, then you will cross the river but the water will touch the body, it cannot touch you. You will go on witnessing.

Learn to be a witness in ordinary life. Make a little effort. Sometimes when you are walking, walk in such a way that you are not walking, only the body is walking. You "NEITHER GO ANYWHERE NOR COME FROM ANYWHERE. Watch yourself walking on the road and be a witness. While eating at the dinner table - watch yourself eating, the body is eating, the hand picks up a bite, brings it to the mouth, you stand silently watching. Watch yourself making love, watch yourself being angry. In happiness watch, in suffering watch. Slowly slowly you help and support the witness. One day the declaration will happen within you too, the ultimate rain will come, nectar will spring forth. It is your right, it is your birthright, the right of your inherent nature. Whenever you want to you can declare it.

AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. I HAVE NOTHING AT ALL OR I HAVE ALL THAT IS ENCOMPASSED IN SPEECH OR THOUGHT.

Janak is saying in one sense nothing is mine because I am not. I no longer exist, how can 'mine' exist? So in one sense nothing is mine and in another sense everything is mine. As I am no longer, only existence remaining in me, god remains and everything belongs to it. This paradox has happened, where it seems nothing is mine and everything is mine.

AMAZING AM I, I BOW DOWN TO MYSELF. I HAVE NOTHING AT ALL OR I HAVE ALL THAT IS ENCOMPASSED IN SPEECH OR THOUGHT.

Whatever is visible to the eyes, whatever experience comes through the senses is not mine because I am the observer. But as soon as I became the observer, I found out that all is mine, because I am the center of the whole existence.

The observer is not your individual form. The observer is your universal form. As an enjoyer we are all separate, as the doer we are all separate but as the observer we are one. My observer and your observer are not separate. My observer and your observer are one. Your observer and Ashtavakra's observer are not separate. Your observer and Ashtavakra's are one. Your observer and Buddha's observer are not separate. The day you become an observer is the day you become Buddha, Ashtavakra, Krishna, the day you become all. When you become an observer you become the center of the universe. You disappear from this side, you are fulfilled from that side. You lose this small 'I', this small droplet - and gain the infinite ocean.

These sutras are the sutras of worshipping your own being. These sutras are saying that you yourself are the devotee, you yourself are the divine. These sutras say you are the one worthy of

adoration and you are the adorer. These sutras are saying that both are present inside of you: allow them to meet! These sutras are saying something very unique: bend down at your own feet, lose yourself within yourself, drown inside yourself! Your devotee and your bhagwan are inside of you.

Let the union happen there! Let the fusion happen! The revolution will happen, when inside you your devotee and your bhagwan meet and become one. Neither bhagwan nor devotee will remain.

Something will remain - without form, without qualities, beyond limit, beyond death, beyond time, beyond measure! Duality will disappear, non-duality will remain.

The first glimpses of these non-dual moments are what we call meditation. When these non-dual moments start becoming stable it is what we call samadhi with distinctions. And when this non-dual moment becomes permanent, becomes so stable that there is no way it can be dismissed - this is what we call samadhi without distinctions.

This can happen in two ways. Either just by awareness - as it happened to Janak: merely through understanding. But great intelligence is needed, sharp intelligence is needed, great intensity is needed. A very sharp edged awareness is needed within you. It can happen immediately. If you find this happening, good. If you find this is not happening then don't sit repeating these sutras.

It will not happen from repeating them. These sutras are such that if it happens while listening, then it happens; if listening you miss, then even if you repeat them a million times it won't happen.

Because it does not to happen through repetition. The sharpness of your brain does not come through repetition; through repetition its edge is lost.

One way is if it happens when you hear these sutras. If it happens it happens, you cannot do anything. If it doesn't happen then slowly slowly you will have to start with meditation, from meditation to samadhi with distinctions, from samadhi with distinctions to samadhi without distinctions - you will have to make the journey. If the leap happens then good, if not you will have to go down the steps. If the leap happens, it happens. It can happen to some. Every miracle is possible because you are a miracle of miracles. There is nothing impossible in it. Sitting here listening to me the leap can happen to someone. If you don't come in between, if you keep yourself separate, if you put away your intellect like taking off your shoes and clothes and putting them away, if you become pure naked consciousness before me - this leap can happen. It can happen to you as it happened to Janak. If it happens, good. Then there is no method in it. You won't be able to ask how to prepare for it to happen.

If you ask about preparations it doesn't happen. Then there is another way. Then Patanjali is your path, then Mahavir or Buddha. Then Ashtavakra is not your path. This is why the Ashtavakra Gita goes on lying in darkness. Such urgency, such intensity, such brilliance is rare. This can happen with one who has prepared himself for many lives. But it happens! Only to one or two in a hundred, but it happens. There are many historical accounts of some insignificant event transforming someone.

I have heard of one sadhu in Bengal. He was a clerk at the court, the head clerk, then he was retired. Rajababu was his name. He was Bengali so of course he was a small official, a babu. His age was more than sixty. One morning he went out walking. It was early morning, the sun had not yet risen. Behind closed doors some woman in her hut was waking somebody. It must have been her son or brother - she was waking somebody up. She said, "Rajababu get up, it is very late!."

Rajababu was just going out with his walking stick in hand, going out for his morning walk. Suddenly in this predawn moment, the sun was just about to rise, pink was spread across the sky, the birds were starting to sing, the whole of nature was full of wakefulness - it happened!

The woman was waking up someone else, she hadn't even said anything to this Rajababu. She didn't even know that this Rajababu was passing by. He was going out walking, she was saying to someone inside, "Rajababu get up, it is morning, it is very late. Get up will you, how long are you going to go on sleeping?" He heard. It happened. He didn't return home. He kept going. He reached the forest. His family found out. They came looking and found him in the forest. They asked, "What happened?"

He started laughing! He said, "It is enough! Rajababu woke up, now you can go!"

They said, "What do you mean? What are you saying?"

He said, "Now there is nothing to say, nothing to hear. It is already too late. /bahut der vaise hi ho gaii thii. I have understood. It was dawn, all of nature was awakening - in this awakening I also woke up! Some woman was saying get up, it is very late. Her words struck home."

This woman was not Ashtavakra, she herself was not awakened. So sometimes it happens, if your intelligence is crystallized, if your fruit has ripened, then one puff of wind... Or if no wind blows sometimes ripe fruit falls by itself. If it happens it happens! But if it doesn't don't be dishearted, don't be sad. If it is not sudden then it can be step by step. Sometimes it does happen suddenly - as an exception. So Ashtavakra's Gita is an exception. There is no method in it. There is no path.

In Japan there are two schools of Zen. One school is sudden enlightenment. What they say is the same as what Ashtavakra says. The master doesn't teach anything. He comes and sits. If he is in the mood he says something. If it happens, it happens.

Once an emperor invited a Zen master to his palace. The master came and mounted the dais. The emperor had been very eagerly awaiting him. He sat before him like a disciple. After sitting a short dais on the throne the master looked left and right, pounded the table with his fist, stood up and left!

The emperor was surprised and wondered what had happened. He asked his vizier. The minister said, "I know him. He has never given a more significant commentary than this. But if you get it you get it, it you don't get it you don't get it."

The emperor said, "This is a commentary! Beating three times on the table with his fist and leaving - this is it?"

The vizier said he tried to wake us up and left. Wake up if you can. "Rajababu, get up, morning was come." He sounded the alarm and left.

The vizier said, "I have heard other discourses of this master, but he has never given a more potent, a more wakefulness provoking discourse than this. But don't worry, because I have heard many times and I have not awakened. You have only heard your first discourse. Keep on listening, perhaps it will happen."

It is an instantaneous event, it is not related by cause and effect. It is completely new, it has no connection with your past - if it happens it happens. This is not a scientific experiment like heating water up to one hundred degrees and it becomes steam. This event is such that sometimes steam happens without heating the water. It has no scientific explanation.

Ashtavakra is beyond science. If you have a scientific mind and you say, "How can it happen that way? It can happen by doing something." Then follow your scientific mind. Then ask Buddha the eight-fold-path. Then ask Patanjali about his yoga. Then there are methods. This is not yoga, this a the pure expression of what Indian philosophy calls sankhya.

It is not that Ashtavakra can awaken many. If a Janak or two awakens it is miracle enough! That Janak awoke is more than enough. And there is no mention anywhere of Ashtavakra awakening anyone else.

Buddha awakened many. Even now Patanjali goes on awakening people. Ashtavakra only awakened one person. It is hard to say if he awakened even this one. Janak was ready to be awakened, Ashtavakra was only an instrument. Not a cause - a catalyst.

With the devices of sudden enlightenment the master is only a catalyst. He will try - if it happens it happens. It is not a science. If is doesn't happen don't be dishearted. Don't follow a master with the expectation that it will happen to you. It will happen to some! Whoever it doesn't happen to will at least have their thirst aroused. They can search for a method, they can move with a method.

The rule can only be with methods. It it happens without methods it is an exception, it is outside the rule.

So listen attentively here. If it happens be blessed, it doesn't don't be dishearted.

Hari Om Tat Sat.