OUR BELOVED MASTER,
FOLLOWERS OF THE TAO, I AM TALKING ONLY ABOUT THAT WHICH IS DISTINCTLY SOLITARY AND BRIGHT, AND IS LISTENING TO MY EXPOUNDING OF THE DHARMA. THIS ONE KNOWS NO OBSTRUCTIONS AND IS OMNIPRESENT IN THE THREE WORLDS OF EXISTENCE IN THE TEN DIRECTIONS OF SPACE. IT CAN FREELY AND COMFORTABLY ENTER ALL THE DIFFERENT STATES, WITHOUT BEING INFECTED BY THEM.
IN THE SHORTEST INSTANT, IT WILL PENETRATE DEEPLY INTO THE DHARMA-DHATU WHERE IT WILL TALK ABOUT BUDDHAS, WHEN MEETING BUDDHAS; ABOUT PATRIARCHS, WHEN MEETING PATRIARCHS; ABOUT ARHATS, WHEN MEETING ARHATS, AND ABOUT HUNGRY GHOSTS, WHEN MEETING HUNGRY GHOSTS.
IT WILL GO TO ALL PLACES AND JOURNEY TO LANDS WHERE IT WILL CONVERT THE LIVING. IT HAS NEVER, EVEN FOR THE TIME OF A THOUGHT, STRAYED FROM OMNIPRESENT PURITY AND CLEANNESS, SHINING THROUGH THE TEN DIRECTIONS OF SPACE, WHERE MYRIAD THINGS ARE IN THE STATE OF SUCHNESS. FOLLOWERS OF THE TAO, MEN OF ABILITY KNOW ONLY NOW THAT FUNDAMENTALLY THERE IS NO CAUSE WHATEVER FOR CONCERN. IT IS JUST BECAUSE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS, THAT EVERY THOUGHT OF YOURS IS DIRECTED TO THE PURSUIT OF EXTERNALS, LIKE ONE WHO REJECTS HIS OWN HEAD TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER; HENCE YOUR INABILITY TO APPLY THE BRAKE TO YOUR THOUGHTS.
... WHAT THIS MOUNTAIN MONK IS TALKING ABOUT IS JUST AN APPROPRIATE MEDICINE TO CURE A PARTICULAR AILMENT OF THE MOMENT BECAUSE THERE IS NO FIXED DHARMA. THE HOLDER OF SUCH A VIEW IS A TRUE LEAVER OF HOME, AND CAN ENJOY HIMSELF TO THE FULLEST, AS IF HE WERE SPENDING, EVERY DAY, TEN THOUSAND OUNCES OF YELLOW GOLD ON HIS PLEASURES.
Maneesha, Rinzai has a special place just as Bodhidharma has. Bodhidharma introduced Zen to China from India, and Rinzai introduced Zen to Japan from China. These two were key figures in creating a whole new approach to reality. You will see, at some points, it is so difficult not to say that this man has certainly seen the original face. He is not philosophizing, although his words are that of a philosopher.
It is a strange fate that when a philosopher turns to the world of Zen, he never shows exactly what Zen is. He goes roundabout. He does not show Zen directly, immediately, because of his old training. For an ordinary human being who has not been trained in philosophy it is far easier to understand Zen. Rinzai was unfortunate in the sense that he was professionally a philosopher. So what can be said in a single sentence, he goes on elaborating about, around and around; you have to find that single sentence almost in a forest of words.
He cannot forget his old habit of conceptualization -- he tries his best.
This was not the case with Mahakashyapa who created Zen. He was not a philosopher, he was a very simple, innocent man. And Zen was born out of a laughter -- that you should never forget -- because Mahakashyapa laughed at the very stupidity of a philosopher asking a question about the ultimate reality. You can ask questions about relative reality, about the outside world, and you can get answers, too. All the encyclopedias are full of those answers.
But you cannot raise a question about your inner reality. There is no question and no answer.
There is absolute silence; no dust is raised, just a pure, clean sky. What question can you make out of it?
Philosophy in a way avoids the inner world because in the inner world there is no place for philosophy. It talks about God and it talks about paradise and it talks about a thousand and one things, just avoiding one thing -- yourself. In other words, philosophy is an avoidance of reality, not an inquiry into reality.
Rinzai tried his hardest to forget the old training of his mind, and once in a while he succeeded. There was no difficulty for Bodhidharma. He never knew any scripture, he never knew any philosophy. He was a pure, original man -- uncultured, uncultivated, absolutely raw.
Zen fits with the original, uncultured, unsophisticated very well, because Zen is a gesture. All philosophies are linguistic.
Zen has a totally different language of the presence of the master, of allowing his experience to filter into your being, of receiving with joy his song of silence, of being blessed when the master is showering all his blessings ... like flowers falling on you with invisible mysteries. Zen has to create a totally existential language. Our ordinary language is good enough for theology, for religion, for philosophy, but not for Zen.
I will tell you when he goes into his old habits, and when he remembers to come back to directly pointing to the truth.
FOLLOWERS OF THE TAO ...
Now, this is ... from the very beginning he commits a mistake. Not intentionally -- he is a great lover of Buddha and Lao Tzu, of Tao and Dhamma. Dhamma is Buddha's finger pointing to the moon, and Tao is Lao Tzu's finger pointing to the same moon. Only the fingers differ. That's why Buddhism never came to clash with Taoism when it reached China.
This is a rare incident in history. Whenever one religion travels there is immediately conflict with the existing religion -- naturally, because their concepts differ. This is the only instance in the whole of history where this did not happen, when Buddhism reached China and was welcomed by the Taoists. It is a phenomenal thing, it is absolutely unique and rare.
Do you think Christianity will welcome Hinduism in the same way, or Hinduism will welcome Mohammedanism in the same way, or Mohammedanism will welcome Judaism in the same way? They have all been in conflict, arguing, fighting, killing, burning for fictitious concepts which have no evidence of existence at all. This is the only instance in the whole of history, where the lovers of Tao simply welcomed Bodhidharma. They saw that the finger is different but the moon is the same, and to fight for fingers is absolutely idiotic. They are all pointing to the same moon.
Rinzai commits his first mistake because Tao does not allow any followers. You can love Tao, you can live Tao, but you cannot be a follower -- because Tao is not an ordinary religion.
It is not a church, it has no organized discipline. It is the path of very unique, eccentric people.
You cannot fall into the trap of following because there is nothing to follow -- no doctrine, no discipline, no special way to reach to the truth.
And further on he says that Dhamma is not fixed; Dhamma and Tao are exactly equivalent. If Dhamma is not fixed, how can you follow it? You can follow a thing which is dead and fixed, but Tao is a living phenomenon. It has no scripture, it has only a deep, personal intimacy which is handed down, hand to hand, from master to disciple. The same is true of Zen. It is a transmission, invisible to outsiders, because it is a heart meeting another heart, joining in a dance, falling into the same rhythm.
You cannot call these people followers. I cannot call my people followers because there are no rules to follow. You are not here to follow a certain doctrine, as Christians are doing in churches, you are here simply to experience your own self. It is easier when there are so many people engaged in the same search of their inner reality. It creates a magnetic field. In that magnetic field it is easier for you to relax, it is easier for you not to doubt. It is easier for you to enter into yourself, seeing that so many people are entering; there is no fear.
Tao is an energy field which is being transferred from master to disciple. And the moment it is transferred, the disciple becomes a master in his own right. Now he has his own field of energy. Energy is invisible; only its effects are visible. You can see light, but you cannot see electricity. Have you ever seen electricity? These lights are just the effects of electricity.
Electricity can do a thousand and one things, but nobody has ever seen it and nobody will ever see it.
Energy is not something to be seen, but only felt. Have you seen love? You may have seen lovers -- even that is very difficult -- but to see love ... You yourself may even be in love -- you can have a subtle feeling of a great change in your behavior. You walk differently, your eyes have a different gleam, you smile in a more understanding way, you relate with other people with grace -- but these are all effects. One can act all these effects without having love at all.
I have heard ... Mulla Nasruddin's wife drags him to a movie house. And in the picture which is shown the hero hugs and kisses the heroine so gracefully, so sweetly, that immediately Mulla Nasruddin's wife turns to him and says, "You never do that to me."
Mulla Nasruddin said, "You don't understand -- he is paid. Am I paid?"
But the wife was also a rare personality. She said, "Paid or not paid, you don't know that in real life also they are husband and wife."
Mulla said, "My god! If in real life also they are husband and wife, then he is a great actor.
I can certify that he is a great actor." Showing so much sweetness to one's own wife -- who has ever heard of it?
You can act. People have acted as if they are enlightened, knowing perfectly well inside that it is just acting. But followers are not possible. Gautam Buddha is reported to have said, "Watch me, feel me, but don't follow me." You have to find your own path alone. And that is a great beauty, that your enlightenment will be fresh and virgin, not second hand.
There are no followers of Tao, but Rinzai is a man of philosophy where there are only followers. In Tao, in Zen, in Dhamma, there are only lovers ... love at the highest peak, where you open your heart to the unknown realities, to the unknown invisible mysteries of your own being. It is a trust certainly, but not a following.
Remember, trust is not a belief. These things I have to remind you of again and again, because all your dictionaries are misleading. I have not come across a single dictionary or encyclopedia which is not mixed up and confused about trust and belief.
Belief is in a system of thoughts and trust is the essence of love. You can trust only a living being; you can believe in a dead scripture. Trust simply means that you have already tasted something and you have heard the call of the master ..."Come closer, be more intimate.
I can show you my inner world in order to help you to see your own inner world." The function of the master is to provoke a quest in you for your inner treasures.
There are no followers of Tao.
There are only lovers.
I AM TALKING ABOUT THAT WHICH IS DISTINCTLY SOLITARY AND BRIGHT AND IS LISTENING TO MY EXPOUNDING OF THE DHARMA. THIS ONE KNOWS NO OBSTRUCTIONS AND IS OMNIPRESENT IN THE THREE WORLDS OF EXISTENCE IN THE TEN DIRECTIONS OF SPACE. IT CAN FREELY AND COMFORTABLY ENTER ALL THE DIFFERENT STATES, WITHOUT BEING INFECTED BY THEM.
This I call philosophical -- going round and round. In this whole passage what he is saying is simply, "Look into yourself. The reality of your being is as big as all ten dimensions.
Nothing can penetrate it and nothing can burn it, nothing can steal it." If Bodhidharma was to say it, he would simply hit you with his sandal, and that would be enough. "It is you, there is no need to go on talking about it." Why not wake you up directly?
IN THE SHORTEST INSTANT, says Rinzai, IT WILL PENETRATE DEEPLY INTO THE DHARMA-DHATU.
The poor fellow cannot forget his philosophy. Now, DHARMA-DHATU is simply a philosophical way to say, enter into your fundamental nature. Rather than saying that -- enter into your fundamental nature -- he brings in the word dharma-dhatu. To the fools these strange words sound very profound -- the man must know, must be a great buddha: dharma-dhatu!
And it does not mean much, it simply means your foundation.
WHERE IT WILL TALK ABOUT BUDDHAS, WHEN MEETING BUDDHAS; ABOUT PATRIARCHS WHEN MEETING PATRIARCHS, ABOUT ARHATS, WHEN MEETING ARHATS, AND ABOUT HUNGRY GHOSTS WHEN MEETING HUNGRY GHOSTS.
Now you can see how philosophy goes on creating great systems of thought and belief.
Your very foundation is certainly the foundation of all the buddhas; your ultimate consciousness is the source of all the buddhas. A single sentence is enough, that you are containing a buddha within you.
And as far as hungry ghosts are concerned, I cannot agree with him. There are hungry people, but hungry ghosts? There is no reason for them to be hungry, they can eat in any restaurant without paying -- and they do it. You cannot see them, so they can enter anywhere; locks and doors don't matter. This is a stupid idea he must have got from his childhood which is still hanging around -- hungry ghosts! To frighten a child just a ghost is enough, but to make it hungry means, "Beware!" A hungry ghost immediately gulps you. One moment you are and next moment you are gone. I know ghosts, but I have never heard ..."Poor ghosts, hungry ghosts." There is no reason for them to be hungry -- just something to frighten children ...
But Rinzai is still carrying his own childhood. There are no ghosts in the world, but all the religions talk about ghosts because their very foundation is dependent on a belief in God. And if people start asking questions about God's existence, they are immediately repressed: "Even to disbelieve or doubt for a single moment about God you will be in trouble." The ghosts come in the same line.
God lives far away; ghosts live just in the neighborhood. They may be living in your own house. To frighten children with a God who lives far away -- no child is so unintelligent to be afraid. By the time the message reaches to him the child will think, "We will see. But first, bring the ice cream from the refrigerator." But hungry ghosts? They may be in the refrigerator itself enjoying all your ice cream!
But a man like Rinzai talking about hungry ghosts simply shows that even if you grow older the child within you remains. And then he became very learned in his scriptures, so the scriptures and the childhood superstitions all got mixed up. Finally he became enlightened, but his whole past was still hanging around him like shadows. And when he starts talking about religion he has to come down to the mind, and the mind is full of those shadows of the past.
IT WILL GO TO ALL PLACES AND JOURNEY TO LANDS WHERE IT WILL CONVERT THE LIVING. IT HAS NEVER, EVEN FOR THE TIME OF A THOUGHT, STRAYED FROM OMNIPRESENT PURITY AND CLEANNESS, SHINING THROUGH THE TEN DIRECTIONS OF SPACE, WHERE MYRIAD THINGS ARE IN THE STATE OF SUCHNESS.
Now he is saying something of experience. He knows that your suchness, your nature, your Tao is immortal, and it is all over the cosmos.
It is a very difficult job ... and I have suffered so much from these people. Reading their scriptures, I had to sort out what was their childhood, what was their training, what was their scripture knowledge, and what was their actual experience -- that was very small. And to search in a mountain for a small diamond, it is really difficult. Now, what he is saying is true but still the language is not of Zen. The language is of philosophy.
IT HAS NEVER, EVEN FOR THE TIME OF A THOUGHT, STRAYED FROM OMNIPRESENT PURITY AND CLEANNESS, SHINING THROUGH THE TEN DIRECTIONS OF SPACE, WHERE MYRIAD THINGS ARE IN THE STATE OF SUCHNESS.
Just a simple sentence: in your suchness you are the whole. This very moment if you become aware of your suchness, you are not separate from the cosmos. But a small thing philosophers tend to make much fuss about. Philosophy is so much garbage that it is very easy to forget whether the philosopher has found it or not.
Rinzai is counted as a great philosopher in the Japanese history of philosophy. He should not be, but his words give the impression that he is a philosopher. I want to say that he is a mystic who does not know the language of the mystics. He is a mystic who knows the language of philosophy, and then everything becomes unnecessarily pompous.
Again he says:
FOLLOWERS OF THE TAO, MEN OF ABILITY KNOW ONLY NOW THAT FUNDAMENTALLY THERE IS NO CAUSE WHATEVER FOR CONCERN.
He is saying a great truth, but again using wrong words. Followers don't exist in the world of the buddhas -- only lovers, only those who are ready to expose themselves to their very core. Otherwise what he is saying is significant. Just change 'followers' into 'lovers of Tao'.
MEN OF ABILITY KNOW ONLY NOW THAT FUNDAMENTALLY THERE IS NO CAUSE WHATEVER FOR CONCERN.
But it has still to be reduced to a more Zen way, to a more Zen language. He is saying that when you become a buddha, you know that there was no cause for concern. Even if you are not a buddha there is no cause for concern. Your not being a buddha is only a small sleep, just a little dream. In the eternity of time it does not matter that you dreamed for few a seconds.
Our whole lives are so small in comparison to eternity that nothing matters, but this is known only to people who have come to suchness, who have come to realization of their center of being.
Suddenly, for them nothing matters. All judgments drop -- nobody is good, nobody is bad; nobody is a sinner and nobody is a saint. All these are different dreams people are having. One person is dreaming that he is a thief, another person is dreaming that he is a saint. When they wake up, both will be the same. And the difference in dreams is not much of a difference; hence his statement is absolutely correct, that men of understanding know perfectly well that there is no reason for concern.
IT IS JUST BECAUSE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS, THAT EVERY THOUGHT OF YOURS IS DIRECTED TO THE PURSUIT OF EXTERNALS, LIKE ONE WHO REJECTS HIS OWN HEAD TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER; HENCE YOUR INABILITY TO APPLY THE BRAKE TO YOUR THOUGHTS.
WHAT THIS MOUNTAIN MONK IS TALKING ABOUT IS JUST AN APPROPRIATE MEDICINE TO CURE A PARTICULAR AILMENT OF THE MOMENT, BECAUSE THERE IS NO FIXED DHARMA.
Now, this is something very original that he is saying. THERE IS NO FIXED DHARMA, so there is no question of following somebody. It may be right for him to do something; it may not be right for you to do the same thing because you are a different individual, in a different context, in a different time. You have to find your own truth and act accordingly -- not according to anybody else's truth. There is no certainty, stability, permanence in the world of existence. But one thing he forgets, or perhaps is not aware of.
He is saying:
WHAT THIS MOUNTAIN MONK IS TALKING ABOUT IS JUST AN APPROPRIATE MEDICINE TO CURE A PARTICULAR AILMENT OF THE MOMENT.
On a very low level the statement is right, but from the heights of a buddha, the ailment is as illusory as the medicine.
You are suffering from illusions. Certainly you need a cure, but the cure has to be as illusory as your suffering; otherwise it will disturb rather than help. Once your ailment is cured you don't keep the bottle of medicine with you, you throw it away.
The people who go on carrying their scriptures are carrying medicines prescribed perhaps five thousand years before to a certain person, who was certainly suffering from an illusory ailment. The prescription you are carrying ... the time has changed, so much water has gone down the Ganges. You are no longer living in the world where the BHAGAVADGITA had a truth, or the Bible had a truth. The whole world has changed, but you cling to your medicine bottles, and you are no longer suffering from those ailments. Now the medicine has become your illness.
THE HOLDER OF SUCH A VIEW IS A TRUE LEAVER OF HOME, AND CAN ENJOY HIMSELF TO THE FULLEST, AS IF HE WERE SPENDING, EVERY DAY, TEN THOUSAND OUNCES OF YELLOW GOLD ON HIS PLEASURES.
It is true that a man of enlightenment lives each moment in such bliss and in such splendor -- AS IF HE WERE SPENDING TEN THOUSAND OUNCES OF YELLOW GOLD ON HIS PLEASURES.
He is not spending a single paisa but what Rinzai is saying is that his blissfulness is far bigger than any emperor. He may be a beggar, but his inner silence and his inner peace and his inner dance is far bigger than any Alexander the Great.
Rinzai has to be understood with very open eyes. He is carrying all his childhood superstitions, he is carrying all that he has learned as a student of philosophy, and he has attained the truth. So when he says something it is very mixed up. It is not pure twenty-four carat gold; it has some truth mixed with some falseness.
Studying Rinzai is arduous, you have to sift it. But how can you sift it unless you know?
My own understanding is that people should read scriptures only when they have attained to the truth. In fact, then there is no need. But that is the only right way, because then they can see what is false and what is right, what is superstitious and what is just garbage. There may be a small truth hidden somewhere, but the problem is that those who have attained don't read and those who read have not attained.
I have read much, but I started reading after my attainment because before that I simply refused ... Philosophers, my professors, well-wishers wanted me to read this book, that book. I said, "No. Before that I have to be absolutely certain about my truth. I don't have any criterion to judge and I don't want to get confused with all kinds of thoughts." But fortunately the enlightenment came very early to me, and then reading was an absolute joy because I could separate the false from the true, the fictitious from the real.
One of my professors used to say, "Why do you unnecessarily waste your time in reading?" Because he had seen my books. I would make comments on my books -- that this is stupid, this is idiotic, this is nonsense carried from their childhood. He said, "Why do you read if you ... he is such a great philosopher and you are making such comments."
I said, "Only now am I able to read it."
This is a strange world. When you are able to read there is no point in reading, and when you are incapable of reading you read too much and that goes on creating more confusion in your mind.
I have read Rinzai, and I have found that it is very rare to find such a confused enlightened master. He certainly did a great job -- others have to sort it out. But at least he carried the message from China to Japan. Those who followed Rinzai, they dropped his philosophy, they dropped his superstitions. They carried only the pure, clean experience of consciousness.
Rinzai is still worshipped. He has his own school, one thousand years after he was alive.
But the masters who followed really did a good sorting out; almost ninety-nine percent of Rinzai has been dropped. One percent is so true that you cannot drop it. But he was not the man to express only that one percent, he made much fuss about it. It would have been far better for him first to forget his philosophy, drop his superstitions, sort out for himself what is actually his own experience and then give an expression to it. But others have to do this laundry job. He left a mess behind him.
A master, Kansan, of the same lineage as Rinzai, says in a few words much more than Rinzai's big discourses.
I CLIMB THE ROAD TO COLD MOUNTAIN, THE ROAD TO COLD MOUNTAIN THAT NEVER ENDS.
THE VALLEYS ARE LONG AND STREWN WITH STONES; THE STREAMS BROAD AND BANKED WITH THICK GRASS.
THE MOSS IS SLIPPERY, THOUGH NO RAIN HAS FALLEN; PINES SIGH, BUT IT IS NOT THE WIND.
WHO CAN BREAK FROM THE SNARES OF THE WORLD, AND SIT WITH ME AMONG THE WHITE CLOUDS?
He is saying, the road is a non-ending road. Your inner world has no limitations to it. Just as the outer universe has no boundaries, your inner world also has no inner boundaries. He is simply describing the whole path he has moved through.
I CLIMB THE ROAD TO COLD MOUNTAIN.
Because as you go deeper it becomes colder and colder. All the heat is sickness, it is fever.
THE ROAD TO COLD MOUNTAIN THAT NEVER ENDS.
THE VALLEYS ARE LONG AND STREWN WITH STONES; THE STREAMS BROAD AND BANKED WITH THICK GRASS.
THE MOSS IS SLIPPERY, THOUGH NO RAIN HAS FALLEN; Of course, inside no rain has ever fallen, but still the path is slippery.
THE MOSS IS SLIPPERY, THOUGH NO RAIN HAS FALLEN; PINES SIGH, BUT IT IS NOT THE WIND.
It is not the wind passing through the pines. It is the pines themselves which are sighing.
WHO CAN BREAK FROM THE SNARES OF THE WORLD, AND SIT WITH ME AMONG THE WHITE CLOUDS?
That one is my disciple, my devotee. This is the language of Zen.
Question 1 Maneesha has asked:
LANGUAGE IS USUALLY ABOUT THE COMMUNICATION OR TRANSFER OF IDEAS; AND THE UNDERSTANDING OF MOST RELIGIONS SEEMS TO BE THAT ONE DOES NOT NEED TO BE GIVEN SOMETHING.
HOWEVER, ZEN IS DIFFERENT IN THAT IT APPEARS TO BE SAYING ONE ONLY NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT ONE ALREADY HAS. IS THIS WHY YOU HAVE CALLED ZEN "THE LANGUAGE OF EXISTENCE"?
Maneesha, you are right. Zen has nothing to give to you, but has something to take away -- your personality, your mask, your false identities. Zen has to rip you away, so that only the existence, pure existence remains unpolluted in you. It does not bother about philosophizing.
Its concern is experiencing, its concern is existential. That's why I have called it "the language of existence." All other languages are man's languages -- for purposes of the mediocre and for purposes of the marketplace. Zen is not a marketplace phenomenon. It needs a tremendous courage to enter into one's own existence, leaving everything that one values so much.
It does not want you to renounce the world, it simply wants you to renounce yourself, and just let the existence express and radiate through you. The Zen master, or buddha, does not speak, he only allows existence to sing its song. The buddha is just a flute, a bamboo with holes. Existence can sing any song that it wants; the flute does not interfere. The flute allows existence to commune with those who are capable of listening to the music that is flowing through it.
Rinzai has been a very serious trip. My understanding of Zen is that it is full of laughter and giggles. It is not a serious concern at all.
History records many examples of people in restaurants who have found flies in their soup.
Professor Dingleberry, a world famous authority, has run a survey on the international situation; his findings are revealing.
In America, if a diner finds a fly in his soup, he sends the dish back and complains to the manager.
In English restaurants, the fly is carefully removed between finger and thumb, placed on the table, and then politely ignored for the rest of the meal.
In France, the fly-finder consumes the soup, but pushes the fly to the side of the plate.
In Scotland, the fly is lifted forcibly out of the soup and squeezed over the plate, then dropped to the ground and trodden into the carpet.
The Chinese consume the fly with one swallow, and then wash it down with the soup.
In Jewish restaurants, particularly in New York, the diner immediately sends for the manager and complains, "Is this all I get, just one fly?"
Captain Cartwright Num-Nuts, the astute commander of the latest electronic miracle battleship, the U.S.S. Turkey Shoot, proudly scans the horizon for smoke. He is standing on the deck of his observation tower, on board ship.
The Turkey Shoot is floating a few miles from the coast of Florida, and Num-Nuts has just commanded the destruction of a mysterious aircraft flying too nearby.
What he does not know is that he has just shot down the latest multi-billion dollar American rocket launched to explore Mars.
Captain Num-Nuts strides proudly up and down the deck, sniffing the salt air and whistling the Turkey Shoot battle song, to celebrate his uncanny marksmanship.
Suddenly, an aide comes running up to the captain. "Here is a special message from the admiral, sir," reports the sailor.
"Read it to me, my son," says Num-Nuts, puffing out his chest, and gazing towards the horizon.
"But, sir," says the sailor, "it is addressed to you personally."
"Just read it to me," snaps back Captain Num-Nuts.
The sailor reads, "Of all the blundering, stupid, idiotic morons, you take the cake!"
Captain Num-Nuts shifts his gaze to the sailor and pauses. Then he says, "Have that decoded at once!"
Luscious Miss Willing starts her new job as a waitress in the Goatburger Cafe.
She approaches a table where Kowalski and Zabriski are sitting after just finishing their meal. She leans over and, cleaning away the plates, asks, "What would you gentlemen like for dessert?"
"Uh, I would like raisin cake," stammers Zabriski, noticing her full, white breasts.
"Okay," she says, turning to Kowalski and leaning all the way over, exposing her beautiful tits. "And is yours raisin, too?"
"Well," says Kowalski, looking down at the napkin on his lap. "Yup, mine is raisin' too!"
Now, Nivedano ...
(Drumbeat) (Gibberish) Nivedano ...
(Drumbeat) Be silent. Close your eyes.
Feel your body to be completely frozen.
Gather all your energy inwards.
Look, almost like an arrow, searching deep for your center of being, because your center of being is also the center of the universe.
One who knows it becomes a buddha.
Deeper and deeper ...
This moment is precious. You are very close to your own being and to the being of the universe. Realizing it is going to transform your whole life.
Without any fear ... because it is your own territory, it is your own space. Nobody can enter here. It has been waiting for you for millions of lives. Just penetrate it and you will find the greatest blessing showering on you.
To make it more clear, Nivedano ...
(Drumbeat) Relax, let go of the body and the mind. You are just a watcher. The mind may be creating some dust, the body may be feeling uncomfortable. You are simply a watcher.
Don't get identified, because this body will change, this mind will change. A thousand times they have already changed. Only this watcher is your treasure, which always remains ...
eternity to eternity.
Lao Tzu calls it Tao.
Buddha calls it Dhamma.
Whatever the name, this is your pure existence.
It opens the doors of all the mysteries -- mysteries that you can feel, but you cannot say; mysteries that you can sing, you can dance, you can live, but you cannot say. This is the world of Zen, and experiencing existence is its language.
Blessed is this evening.
You have all disappeared into an oceanic love, into an oceanic consciousness, dissolving your thin boundaries.
Remember this universal experience twenty-four hours, just like an undercurrent. Remain a buddha -- walking or sitting, sleeping or waking.
(Drumbeat) Now you can come back, but come back not the same as you had gone in.
Come back much more solid, much more integrated, much more centered, and then sit silently for a few moments as a buddha.
Yes, Beloved Master.
Can we celebrate the gathering of ten thousand buddhas?
Yes, Beloved Master.