This Moment is All
The first question:
SO MANY TIMES I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU, BUT SOMEHOW THE SILENCE SAYS IT SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE WORDS.
The really significant things in life can never be said through words; only silence is capable of communion.Words are utilitarian, they belong to the marketplace; hence, when you really want to say something of the heart, you will always find it unsayable. Love cannot be uttered, gratitude cannot be spoken of; prayer is bound to be a deep silence inside you. And this is of fundamental importance to understand, because we are brought up through words with the idea as if everything can be said - and we try to say it. And by saying those things which are not sayable, we falsify them.
Lao Tzu says: Tao cannot be said; the moment you say it you have already falsified it. Truth cannot be communicated, no word is adequate enough, big enough to contain it. It is so vast, vaster than the sky, and words are so tiny. They are good for day-to-day things, utilitarian ends. As you start moving towards the non-utilitarian you start moving beyond words. That's what religion exactly is:
transcendence of words and transcendence of the world that belongs to words.
The mind consists of words; the heart consists only of silence, profound silence, virgin silence, unbroken silence. Not even once anything has stirred there, in the very center of your being.
Feel blessed, Yoga Chetana, that something arises in you for which words seem to be irrelevant.
This is prayer. The prayers that people do in churches, in temples, are not prayers; they are simply expressing their desires. And unless they stop this stupid kind of praying, they will never taste the real nectar of prayer. They will remain absolutely unaware of the transcendental.
Words can be Christian, Hindu, Mohammedan, Buddhist; silence is simply silence. You cannot call silence Christian or Hindu or Mohammedan. It is indefinable. No adjective can be put before it.
Silence is religious. Your so-called prayers are nothing but asking God to fulfill your desires. It is not thankfulness for all that has been already given to you; it is really a complaint. It is a complaint:
why more has not been given to you? Desire means complaint, desire means hankering for more - that this is not enough, that you have not been fair to me, that this is unfair; others are having more.
Prayer in its truest sense is thankfulness, gratitude, but there is no way to say it. There is no need to say it.
One of the greatest philosophers of this age, Ludwig Wittgenstein, used to say that that which cannot be said should not be said, because to say it is to profane it. To say it is to do violence to it.
Saying it is destructive of it. Wittgenstein is not only a philosopher, he is just on the boundary line where philosophy disappears and mysticism begins. Hence, he is one of the most misunderstood philosophers of this age - one of the most profound and the most misunderstood. That is the fate of people who are really deep in their experiencing. Now, what he is saying goes beyond philosophy, it touches something of religiousness.
You say: SO MANY TIMES I WANT TO SAY THANKYOU...
There is no need to say, Chetana. Whenever it arises in you, it is heard. By saying it you will destroy the beauty of it. Let it remain a communion of the heart to the heart. There is no need to make it a communication from one head to another head. Communication is between two heads; communion is between two hearts. Communion is love; communication is ABOUT love. And remember, talking about God is not at all concerned with God. TaLking about fire is not fire. Fire need not be talked; it has to be seen, experienced. Thank you, thankfulness, gratitude, love - these belong to a totally different plane of your being. They have nothing to do with the head, they have everything to do with the heart. And there is still a deeper layer than the heart.
There are three planes. First, and the most superficial, is the head. The second, deeper than the head but not the deepest in you, is the heart. You feel like saying, but at the same time you feel that it cannot be said. And the third is the plane of your being. You don't even feel like saying; you become it. Your very being becomes a thankfulness. There is no question of saying or not saying.
Feeling that you want to say and cannot say - that too has been left far behind. You are simply thankfulness, now there is no need to say.
When the rosebush is full of flowers it need not utter to the world, need not declare to the world that, "I am beautiful." It is beautiful.
People live in the head. The first jump is from the head to the heart. It is a great jump; it is the beginning of a great pilgrimage. It will prepare you for the second jump and the last jump - from the heart to the being. The heart is just in between. That's why you will feel both a desire to say and also the incapacity to say it. The desire to say comes &om the head part of the heart, and the incapacity to say it comes from the being part of the heart. Heart is a bridge between the two: half belongs to the head, half belongs to the being. Hence, the dilemma, hence the dichotomy. From here move towards being, then the whole dilemma disappears, you become a thankfulness. You bloom as gratitude. It is all over you: in your eyes, in your face, in your walk - just the way you breathe, it is there; in the very heartbeat it is there. Now there is no desire to say and no feeling of incapacity to say it.
The journey towards God has only two steps. In two steps only the whole journey is completed. You have taken the first step, now take the second too.
The second question:
OSHO, SO MANY DULL AND CRAZY RELIGIONS ONCE STARTED WITH A WONDERFUL AND ENLIGHTENED PERSON. PLEASE TELL ME, WILL YOUR SANNYASINS BECOME AS DULL AND CRAZY AS ALL THE OTHER STUPID RELIGIONS? I AM AFRAID TO FALL INTO ANOTHER INSTITUTION.
IT IS A SIGNIFICANT question. There are many implications in it. Each implication has to be deeply pondered over.
First, have you ever loved a woman? Have you ever fallen in love with a woman? If you have ever fallen in love with a woman, have you thought before falling in love that every woman dies one day?
All the women have died before; this woman will also die. Why you are falling in love with a person who is going to die? Prevent yourself. Stop yourself. In fact, have you ever thought that you yourself will be dying one day? Then why go on living? When one has to die, what is the point of living at all? Die right now. Why go on living in a corpse? Because this body will become a corpse one day.
It may be sooner or later burned or buried, so why take care of it? Why look in the mirror in the morning? Why clean it? Why feed it? Why you are serving a corpse? But you have not asked these questions. In fact, these questions will make you very uneasy.
Making love to a woman is making love to a future corpse. Even the thought of it will be enough to put you off. But before taking sannyas, all these great philosophical questions arise in you. If they are authentic, then they will arise in other directions also; they will arise everywhere.
Yes, every religion sooner or later will die - that is the nature of things. That is simply the way of Tao, nothing is wrong about it. When your wife dies, it is not that you did something wrong by loving her while she was alive; it was perfectly right to love her while she was alive. And now it is perfectly right not to go on keeping her dead body in the house, otherwise it will stink. It won't allow you to live, it won't allow you... even your neighbors to live. It will become impossible to love this woman now. It was perfectly good to make love to her while she was alive, but you need not be any more concerned with the past. The past is over, now there is nobody inside the body, the soul has left. It is better to bury or burn it, and the sooner you do the better. And you are not doing any betrayal. It is perfectly right. Just as we accept life, we should accept death. Anything that is born is bound to die.
We accept it about people, but we don't accept it about religions - that's where we go wrong. When there is a Jesus walking, alive, a religion grows around him like a foliage growing around a tree - green leaves, flowers, fruits - because the tree has roots.Jesus is rooted in God, hence the tree is alive. Enjoy the beauty of the tree, enjoy the fragrance of the tree. Lie down in its shade while it is hot. Eat its juicy fruits. Don't be worried that one day this tree will die and there will be no more green leaves, no more flowers will come, spring will not have any meaning to it - don't be bothered with that! That is natural.
But about religions we have been doing just the opposite: Jesus disappears, but the corpse - the words, the formalities are carried on. Krishna disappears, the man who danced is no more there; the man who played on his flute is no more there, but we go on worshipping the flute. Nobody knows how to play on it, nobody knows what to do with this flute; because to play on this flute you have to become as empty as the flute so that God can flow through you. This flute had given beautiful songs to the world, because Krishna was simply a vehicle. He had disappeared as an ego, he was totally available to God, he had no will of his own. God was flowing through him. It was God's song.
The words of Krishna are called SRIMAD BHAGAVAD GITA. Literally it means the song of the God.
Krishna is just a singer; the song is of God. He is just a medium. But when Krishna is gone you will go on worshipping those dead words. They are dead! They were alive on the lips of Krishna, they were very alive, very vibrant. They touched thousands of people's hearts. His dance made thousands dance, and blessed were those people who participated in that dance.
But, Han Vanier, if you had been there you would have stood by the side thinking that, "What is the point of joining into the dance? Sooner or later this man will die, this dance will die. Sooner or later there will be only a silly institution, a crazy ideology, a fanatic religion. Why participate in it?"
You would have been wrong. In fact, we have to learn how to live religions while there is a Jesus, a Buddha, a Krishna, a Zarathustra. And we have also to learn when Zarathustra is gone, how to burn the dead body of that religion, how to bury the dead body - of course, with celebration; of course, with great gratitude. Man has not learned that yet.
He goes on carrying dead corpses for centuries, that's why all religions stink. Only when there is an enlightened Master alive, something alive starts happening around him. But when the Master is gone, all is gone - the tree is dead. Then there are two kinds of fools. The first fool will be one who does not participate while the dance is happening. The second kind of fool is one who goes on carrying the dead body for centuries. He himself becomes dead under the burden of the past.
And the dead body goes on gathering weight, because as centuries pass it collects dust, it collects theology; more and more books are added to it, interpretations are added to it.
Now Gita has one thousand commentaries - these are the very well-known commentaries; I am not counting the commentaries that are not so well-known - just the very famous commentaries, one thousand commentaries. Now the dead word goes on and on accumulating junk around itself, it becomes heavier and heavier. It kills people.
There is a beautiful story in the Indian scriptures. Shiva, one of the Indian gods... He is one of the Indian trinity; just like the Christian trinity there is a Hindu trinity, and the Hindu trinity is far more sophisticated, far more significant than the Christian trinity. The Christian trinity consists of God the father, and Christ the son, and Holy Ghost. And nobody exactly knows who is this Holy Ghost, whether man or woman, homo or hetero - or maybe bisexual. Because if the father is there and the son is there, where is the mother? It looks very childish.
But the Hindu trinity is far more sophisticated. The Hindu trinity consists of three faces of God. The God is one but he has three faces, hence the Hindu trinity is called TRIMURTI - three faces of God. One is Brahma, the creator; the second is Vishnu, the maintainer; and the third is Shiva, the destroyer. These are the three aspects of existence: things are created, maintained for a while and then destroyed. And all processes of creation maintenance and destruction are divine; these are the three faces of God.
Nothing is wrong about destruction. Destruction follows creation out of necessity, just as day follows night, night follows day. No other religion of the world has the idea that one day the whole existence will disappear, except the Hindu vision. Hindu vision has this idea that one day the world was created, and anything that is created has to disappear one day. So creation and dissolution: sooner or later, the whole universe will be dissolved back into nothingness. Just as a child is born and then one day he dies, the whole creation will disappear one day.
Now physicists will agree more with the Hindu idea than with the Christian trinity. They have discovered black holes, and black holes are nothing but the possibility from where things disappear into nothingness. And now they are discovering white holes - the other aspect of the black hole - from where things appear out of nothing.
Shiva is the god of destruction, god of death, but even a god of death is created, projected by human mind, and human mind is after all human. You can create beautiful philosophy but something of you is bound to be projected in it.
Shiva's wife, Parvati, died. Now he is the god of destruction, death, but he could not accept the death of Parvati. You see the human element? He took the dead body of his wife, carried her on his shoulders for twelve years around the country in search of a physician. There may be someone - who knows? - a magician, a physician, a miracle man who will revive her. He loved her so much...
Now you cannot carry a dead body for twelve years. The body became rotten, it started falling into pieces. Somewhere the hand fell, somewhere the leg fell - that's how the Hindu sacred places were born. Wherever any part of Parvati fell, one sacred place was born. So there are twelve most sacred places in India. Those places are just graveyards of parts of Parvati. Unless the whole dead body disappeared... Shiva carried her in search of somebody who can do a miracle and revive her.
Man does not want to believe in death, hence he creates all kinds of stories about miracles. When Buddha dies his religion dies; it is bound to be so. He was the soul of it. Now you can carry the ritual. And remember always, it is the MAN that matters, not the method - never the method, but the man - as far as religion is concerned.
In science it is totally different: the method matters, not the man. Edison may die, that does not matter, but whatsoever methods he has discovered will go on working. They are still working.
Einstein has died, but his methods will work; as long as better methods are not found his methods will remain valid. And better can be found only on the foundation of his methods. Without his methods, the better methods cannot be found.
But in religion it is totally different; it is just the opposite. Man matters, not methods. With a Buddha his methods are alive. It is his human touch; it is the magic of the man, it is his golden touch. It is his presence that works; but when that presence has left, you can go on carrying the method for centuries - nothing will happen out of it. And you will be very much puzzled, and naturally you will have to find many rationalizations why it is not working; hence the idea of karma. If some method is not working, you have to find some explanation why it is not working. It is not working because of your past karma, because you have done some wrong deeds in the past lives - that's why it is not working. That's all bullshit. The method is not working because the man is not present whose presence is essential for the method to function.
These methods of religion function only when the Master is alive. Then ANYTHING will do. With Patanjali, standing on your head you may become enlightened. Without Patanjali you can go on standing on your head your whole life, you will not become enlightened. In fact, if you had been enlightened before, you will become unenlightened! With Jalaluddin Rumi, dancing works. It is his presence, it is his energy field. The moment you enter his energy field, you have entered into a magnetic world.
And you can see it in many ways in life too.
With a famous doctor, even water given to you may become medicinal - just the presence of the man, the trust in the man works, and can work miracles. But the same will not happen with anybody else. Somebody may imitate him exactly, but imitators won't do.
We have to learn one thing: not to institutionalize religions. When the Master goes, let the religion also go. The really religious person will always find living Masters. Yes, it can happen. For example, Buddha said, "My religion will live for five hundred years." Why he said that? He said it because he has created few living Masters, and he could work it out that how many living Masters these living Masters will be able to create. It is not very mathematical, just a little guesswork. He could say that, "I can see that at least for five hundred years the chain will continue, but after that there will be only ritual."
Now Buddhists have not heard it. They have not listened to the Master. He himself has said that, "After five hundred years there will be only ritual. Only for five hundred years it will be possible. I am creating few living Masters who will live after me, and they will give the magic touch to my methods.
They will be able to create few living Masters, and so on, so forth - but not more than five hundred years. Then slowly slowly the number of living Masters will disappear."
But Buddhism is still alive. Those five hundred years have passed long before. For two thousand years Buddhism has been a ritual: you can go and worship; you can repeat the same formulas, mantras, prayers, meditations, and nothing will happen. Naturally, you will find faults somewhere within you - Buddha cannot be wrong. How Buddha can be wrong? And he was not wrong; you are wrong, but you are not wrong because you have committed some wrong deeds in the past life. You are wrong because you are still carrying something which is dead.
The Pope dies and goes to paradise. At the gates Saint Peter asks him, "Who are you?"
"I am the Pope."
"Never heard of you," replies Saint Peter and locks the gates.
"But I am the Pope," shouts the Pope. "Don't you know me? Ask God and you will see. He knows me well."
Saint Peter goes and tells God: "God, there is a guy here who wants to come in; he says he is the Pope."
"The Pope? The Pope? Ah, yes, now I remember. Call my son Jesus."
Saint Peter calls Jesus and when he arrives God tells him, "Hey Jesus, do you remember that club we created in Rome? - yes, that club we thought about in Jerusalem. Well, do you know? It still exists! Its president is outside the gates."
All the religions become just institutions, and if you fit in these religions then something is wrong with you. No alive person can fit with a dead ritual.
The supply sergeant handed the new army recruit a pair of trousers, and the soldier put them on.
They fit perfectly. Then the sergeant handed him a shirt and cap. They too fit perfectly.
"We have a problem here," the sergeant finally said. "You must be deformed."
Otherwise, who has ever heard army dresses fitting somebody perfectly? Unless somebody is really deformed it is impossible. Army dresses are made for the average person, and the average person does not exist. The average person is only a mathematical entity. Have you ever come across an average person? All persons are unique.
The first man who had found the theory of averages was Herodotus. And naturally, when somebody finds something new he becomes absolutely infatuated with it. He was so infatuated with his theory - he was the first man to come across the theory of averages - that one day when he went for a picnic with his family, the wife and six children, the wife said that, "We have to cross the river. You hold one child and take him to the other shore and then come back."
He said, "Don't worry. I will find out the average height of the children and the average depth of the river."
The wife had no idea... the theory was very new. Just on the sand of the river he calculated, he went, he measured the depth of the river few places, he measured the length of every child, and he said, "Don't be worried. Average is perfectly right. No child can be drowned."
He was so confident, he went ahead, child followed, and the wife was at the back. And then one child started drowning, and the wife said, "Look! The child is drowning! What happened to your theory of averages?"
And Herodotus, rather than trying to save the child, ran back to the shore. He said, "Then there must have been something wrong with my calculation; otherwise it is impossible."
Now the river was somewhere deeper and somewhere not so deep, and somewhere it was very shallow. And one child was longer, another was smaller, and the last one was very small. There was no average child, no average height; and there was no average depth in the river either. Rivers and children don't know anything about theory of averages! But the man was mad - mad with his theory of averages.
Army dresses are made for the average person which exists nowhere. It is really very difficult to find the person to whom the army dress will fit perfectly. The sergeant is perfectly right in saying, "We have a problem here. You must be deformed." He had never come in his whole life across such a person. The trousers fit him, the shirt fits him - even the cap. Everything fits him perfectly, as if they are made for him!
In these dead rituals you call religions - Christianity, Hinduism, Jainism, Judaism - only dead people can fit, deformed people can fit, neurotics can fit. And these are the people who would not have fitted with Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, no. A totally different kind of people would have fitted with Jesus, Buddha and Moses - the alive people. You have to understand this.
With a Buddha, you can fall into a synchronicity only if you are very alive and courageous, very intelligent, rebellious. But with Buddhism, when Buddha is gone, all kinds of fools will fit, all kinds of dead people will fit.
It is really strange: the same people who would have crucified Jesus are Christians now, and the same people who tortured Mohammed all his life are Mohammedans now. They are not different people. From where you can get different people? From where all these Christians have come?
With Jesus there were only very few people, they could have been counted on fingers. What is wrong with humanity? When the man was alive here, when you could have seen him with your own eyes, felt with your own heart, then you turned your back towards him, you killed him; and when he is no more there you worship him. Almost half of humanity is now Christian.
Jesus must be wondering what has happened.
I have heard a story:
In Dostoevski's BROTHERS KARAMAZOV the story happens. Jesus was very much interested - naturally - that half of humanity has become Christian. He started to think that, "I reached the earth a little earlier... Now is the time! If I had gone a little later, just eighteen hundred years later, I would not have been crucified. People would have worshipped me. They are worshipping the cross, they are worshipping my statues, they are worshipping in my churches all over the earth. Millions of Christians, thousands of priests, monks, nuns, all praying - this is the right time for me. I reached a little earlier. That was not the right time."
So he came back. He was utterly disillusioned. He appeared one Sunday morning... Of course he had chosen Sunday because on other days people are engaged in other things. Sunday they are all Christians - it is a Sunday religion; at least for one hour everybody pretends to be a Christian.
He appeared before the church in Bethlehem. People were coming out of the church, and he thought, "This is the right moment. They will immediately recognize me!"
And yes, they crowded around him, and they started laughing, and they said, "You did well. You managed well."
He asked, "What do you mean?"
They said, "You seem to be a perfect actor. You have done so perfectly your makeup that you look just like Jesus."
Jesus said, "You fools! I am Jesus, I am not acting."
They said, "Don't try to befool us. And if you listen to us, escape before the archbishop comes out; otherwise you will be in trouble. Escape as fast as you can."
Jesus could not believe that these are the people who were kneeling down and praying to him and calling him Lord, and now he is standing before them and they cannot even recognize him. And they are thinking that he is an actor or trying to befool them. He said, "Maybe these are uneducated people, but my archbishop - he is a great theologian, he MUST recognize me!"
And then the archbishop came, and everybody fell on his knees in respect for the archbishop. Jesus was puzzled. Nobody had fallen on his knees to honor him, and his servant is being worshipped like a god.
And they said, "Look at this man. This is very wrong on his part to pretend to be Jesus Christ. This is irreligious. He should be punished!"
Archbishop looked at him with very stern eyes, and he said, "Young man, come down and follow me.
You come inside the church."
Jesus could not believe his eyes. He went in, the doors were closed and he was locked into a small room. The whole day he was there, and he was wondering, "What is going to happen now? Am I going to be crucified again? T hat time I thought it was because they were not Christians, they were Jews; but now these are Christians behaving in the same way."
In the middle of the night with a candle in his hand, the archbishop came, opened the door, fell on his knees before Jesus and said, "Lord, I recognized you immediately. But I cannot recognize you before others. You are an old disturber, you will create again chaos. Somehow we have managed everything perfectly well. You are no more needed. We are doing everything as you wanted it to be done. You remain in heaven, we represent you here - you are not needed. This is not your work now anymore. We have taken over the work. And if you insist, then I am sorry, we will have to crucify you again.
"So better you escape, because in the morning there will be trouble. I have just come to inform you.
I recognize you, and I don't want to crucify you again; but I cannot recognize you before the crowd.
You leave right now and never come back again; even though you have promised to come back again, don't come back again. What WE are supposed to do here? We are your representatives, we are doing your work. You will create chaos, disorder. That's what you did the last time you were here, and again you will do the same. You will disturb our whole profession, our whole business."
This is just a fictitious story invented by Fyodor Dostoevski, but has tremendous significance. Yes, the same will happen to Buddha, to Zarathustra, to Krishna, to Mohammed, to everybody.
Han Vanier, you ask me:
SO MANY DULL AND CRAZY RELIGIONS ONCE STARTED WITH A WONDERFUL AND ENLIGHTENED PERSON.
YES, THAT IS TRUE, they started always with somebody wonderful, an enlightened person. But when the enlightened person goes, the wonder goes. Then there is only a dead carcass left, skeletons.
You need not remain encased in any old religion. When I am dead, when the people that will become enlightened with me are dead, then it will be of no use. Bury it, burn it, but right now, don't be afraid of the future. That is the work your children may have to do, or maybe children's children. Right now you can drink out of this living water. Right now you can become transformed.
You say: PLEASE TELL ME WILL YOUR SANNYASINS BECOME AS DULL AND CRAZY AS ALL THE OTHER STUPID RELIGIONS?
Nobody can be an exception. Life lives according to a fundamental law, it follows Tao: nothing is an exception.
So sooner or later the same is going to happen to my sannyasins. But before it happens, Han Vanier, take the jump. Because it is going to happen one day, you need not prevent yourself from taking the jump into this whirlpool of inner transformation.
You say: I AM AFRAID TO FALL INTO ANOTHER INSTITUTION.
You must be part of some institution - Christian, Jew, Hindu, Mohammedan, communist, theist, atheist - some kind of philosophy, some kind of religion, some kind of ideology. It is impossible to find a person who has no ideology, no religion, no philosophy. You must be part of some stupid institution already. Becoming a sannyasin will take you out of that stupid institution.
It is not yet an institution. Before it becomes an institution, don't miss the opportunity. Sooner or later it will become, so I will make my sannyasins aware that whenever it becomes an institution...
And it can become an institution only when all light goes out. It will not go out with me; I will leave few candles burning. They will again create few more candles.
If Buddha could create a religion that lasted for five hundred years and did not become an institution, naturally I have far more experience. Buddha was born twenty-five centuries before, twenty-five centuries have passed. Since then many religions have been born. Christianity has come into existence, Mohammedanism has come into existence, Sikhism has come into existence, and many small religions have come into existence. I have all that experience. With all that experience I can predict very easily that at least for one thousand years my people will remain alive. But when it becomes an institution, immediately, with no second thought, burn it. Say goodbye to it.
But before that, don't try to find rationalizations for your cowardice. Don't be a coward. Cowards are always finding great rationalizations.
Two friends were talking:
"Your girlfriend, wow! Everyday I see her with a different guy."
"It is not true. Come to The Platter and I will show you."
So the two friends went and saw the girl wrapped around another man.
"So," said one, "are not you going over there to beat that guy up to show her your strength?"
"Wait a while," replied the second; "maybe she will come up with someone else more skinny."
A tavern in Mexico was crowded with Mexicans drinking tequila and eating guacamole, when a big guy in the front punched the counter and screamed, "Is there any brave man who wants to fight with another brave man?"
At first there was a gap of silence, and then a big guy from the back screamed, "Si! Yo! - Yes! Me!"
So the first guy continued, "All right, we have one, and now is there another brave man who wants to fight with this brave man?"
Please try to understand me. Don't wrap yourself into rationalizations, don't try to put meanings into my words which are not my own.
From the outside this place may also look like an institution; that is out of sheer necessity. But it is not an institution at all. To have the experience what exactly it is, the only way is to be an insider.
From the outside it has to be an institution, otherwise it cannot function.
I am not an old-fashioned person at all; I belong to the twentieth century. I am absolutely a contemporary. I don't work like Jesus - traveling with few disciples from one place to another, staying under trees, talking to the people in the marketplace. I have learned some lesson, what happened to Jesus. I am not in any way interested to be a martyr, I am not at all suicidal. I am not saying that Jesus was; he was simply not aware. He could not have been aware, because nothing like that has happened before. It had not happened in the whole Jewish history before Jesus, for the simple reason that in the whole history of Judaic religion and tradition, there has never been a man like Jesus. He was the very climax of Jewish intelligence, of Jewish genius. He could not have thought that he will be crucified and within three years his ministry will be finished.
From the outside I don't function like a Jesus, I have my own ways of working. I have learned few lessons from Jesus, Socrates, from Mansoor, from others, and I don't want to repeat the same.
My whole interest is to create as many enlightened people as possible, and for that I have to hang around here a little while more. So from the outside you will find it absolutely an institution; but it is not - not at all. That is a facade, it keeps us separate from the stupid people. It keeps us separate from the crowd, so that we can function and work whole-heartedly with those who really want to be transformed.
So don't misunderstand. Anybody who looks at my work from the outside is bound to misunderstand.
You can experience it only from the inside, and then you will be surprised that it is a totally different phenomenon. I am not at all interested in creating any institution; I am against all institutions. I have never gone to the office of this commune, never, even for a single visit - and I am not going ever. I have not visited the whole ashram either. I don't know who are the people who live in the ashram, I don't know who lives where. All that I know is my room and the way from the room to Buddha Hall.
Except that I know nothing. I don't know anything about the economy of the commune, I don't have a single paise with me. Even if I had, I don't have any pockets to keep it!
It is not an institution at all, and the people who are working here are working out of love for me.
They are not paid. They are living in all kinds of difficulties. We don't have space enough - not even space enough to breathe. People are living in very crowded situations, but their love for me is such that they are ready to go with me even if they have to go to hell. In fact, they are in hell - we don't say anything about it; what is the point? Everybody knows - but you will not find a happier bunch of people anywhere in the world, for the simple reason they are here, that they love me - for no other reason, because there is no other reason at all.
They have come from far better societies, more cultured families, more educated backgrounds, richer affluent societies. They have left their beautiful jobs, highly paid jobs just to be here with me.
And I am not giving them anything, except my love. It may be the only place in the whole world which is run only through the power of love.
But you can experience it only when you are part of it, when you are a participant; otherwise there is bound to be great misunderstanding. And many people misunderstand, for the simple reason that they come as observers, outsiders, onlookers, watchers. This is not a place to be understood that way; it is a mystery to be experienced.
Majewski was standing in the entrance of a hotel lobby without any clothes on. A policeman grabbed him. "Okay, buddy, ' said the cop. "Let us get something to cover you up and go to the station."
"Wait a minute," cried Majewski.
"You can't stand here stark naked!"
"But officer, I am waiting for my girlfriend," pleaded the Polack. "We were up in the room and she said, 'Let us get undressed and go to town.' I guess I beat her down."
You have to learn the language that is spoken here. Don't be a Polack. And the language can be learned only if you dissolve yourself into this tidal wave of sannyasins.
Don't bother about the future. Who cares about the future? This moment is ALL. Live this moment here with me. Taste the joy of it, the celebration of it.
And as long as this place remains a living force, go on inviting people. The moment it dies - and everything dies, remember, sooner or later - the moment it dies accept the death. Then don't try to hide it then don't try to keep the dead body, then don't try to worship it. Then free the people and tell them to go and find living Masters somewhere else. Because the earth is never without few living Masters. God's compassion is such that somewhere or other there is always a living Master, and if you are real seeker you will find him.
But you are trying to simply convince yourself that, what is the point? Sooner or later it will become an institution as if you are going to live forever. What I am creating will die, and you will live forever...
You will also die; and one thing I can tell you: this phenomenon that is being created here is certainly going to live longer than you, so why you should miss the opportunity?
Two hippies are sitting on a beach. It is a beautiful night, a warm soft breeze coming from the ocean, palm trees swaying. they are getting stoned on some very good grass; the stars are twinkling, a full moon is shining bright.
Says one to the other, "Ah, that beautiful moon. I must have it. Whatever it costs me, I will buy it."
Says the other hippie, "No you won't. I am not selling it."
Don't go on arguing with yourself. Come out of your sleep, come out of your dreams. See the truth that is alive here, and while it is alive take something out of it, imbibe it, digest it so that you can also become part of a living truth.
And don't wait for tomorrow - only fools wait for tomorrow - because we can be certain only of this moment. It is always now or never.
The last question:
WHY AM I ALWAYS LIVING IN A KIND OF HELL?
IT IS ALWAYS your own creation. Whether you live in heaven or hell, you live in your own creation.
Nobody else is responsible. Don't throw the responsibility onto God, fate, KISMET, society, economic structure. Don't throw the responsibility on your past lives, on others. Take the whole responsibility on yourself, because that is the only way to move, to change, to go beyond.
The only cause of hell, the only cause of misery is you and nothing else. Except you, nobody can cause it. And it is not the past; you are creating it each moment.
A construction worker is sitting astride a beam on the twenty-fifth story of a New York skyscraper which is being built. The lunch hour bell rings and he takes out a box of sandwiches from his lunch pack. He bites into the first sandwich, then grimaces.
"Shit! Peanut butter again!" And he throws it away. He takes a second sandwich and takes a mouthful, then spits it out. "Shit! More peanut butter!" He takes out a third sandwich, and this time eats it with pleasure. Then he digs back into his box and takes out a fourth sandwich. "Shit! Peanut butter!" he exclaims.
One of his workmates has been watching him and finally says, "How long have you been married now, Mike?"
"Ten years," says Mike, looking up.
"And your wife still does not know that you don't like peanut butter?"
"Don't bring her into this. I made these sandwiches myself."
One goes on creating the hell, and then hates it, and then wants to get rid of it. And even while you are trying to get rid of it you are still creating it. Man is so unconscious.
Two drunkards are talking to each other in a pub.
"My name is Smith," says one.
"That's strange," replies the other. "My name is Smith too. Where do you live?"
"Just across the street."
"Ahh? Me too! What floor?"
"Blimey! That's where... where I live too."
At this point the bartender turns to another client, and shaking his head says, "Every Saturday night it is the same thing. They are father and son."
A woman committed suicide by jumping off a ten story roof onto the sidewalk. She was lying naked on her back when a priest came up and put his hat over the woman's vagina.
A drunk passing by seeing the woman and the hat exclaimed, "The first thing we have got to do is to get that guy out of there!"
Be a little more conscious, Sudhir. Watch how you create your hell. Watch carefully each step, and you will be able to find how you create it.
People only reap the crop they have sown themselves. To become aware of it is the greatest moment in one's life, because from there transformation begins, from there a new life starts.
Take the whole responsibility of whatsoever you are, and wherever you are. This is the first principle of my sannyas: The whole responsibility is yours, don't blame anybody, and don't try to find causes somewhere else. It is easy, and it is the strategy of the ego always to find causes somewhere else, because then there is no need to change. What can you do? The society is wrong, the social structure is wrong, the political ideology is wrong, the government is wrong, the economic structure is wrong - everything is wrong except you. You are a beautiful person fallen into everything wrong.
What can you do? Then you have to suffer, and then you have to learn how to tolerate.
That's what people have been doing for centuries - learning tolerance. I don't teach you tolerance; I teach you transformation. Enough of tolerance! Tolerance means you have misunderstood the whole thing. Transformation means you have started to begin - at least the first ray of understanding has entered in you. Now whatsoever it is, watch each step how it comes. If it is anger watch; if it is sexuality, watch; if it is greed, watch - the three poisons of Ko Hsuan. And through watchfulness you will be able to get rid of them. In fact, through watchfulness they simply start disappearing.