First find yourself
MANY OF YOUR SANNYASINS, SOME OF WHOM HAVE BEEN WITH YOU FOR MANY YEARS, HAVE LEFT YOU TO FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF CHANNELS OR PSYCHIC CLAIRVOYANTS.
I HAVE VISITED SOME OF THESE PEOPLE, PARTLY OUT OF CURIOSITY AND PARTLY THROUGH THE RECOMMENDATION OF FRIENDS, AND HAVE FOUND NOTHING THAT COMES EVEN CLOSE TO THE LOVE AND BENEDICTION IN BEING WITH YOU.
BELOVED MASTER, WHAT IS THE ATTRACTION TO THESE DEAD MASTERS OR SO-CALLED ENTITIES WHEN YOU ARE HERE, A LIVING ENLIGHTENED MASTER?
Satyam Samved, the question you have raised has many layers and a simple answer won't be justified. But I would like to go into it as deeply as possible, because it is something of much concern to each of you.
I am not in any way a bondage. I do not create a program in you, a belief system. I don't ask you to surrender; in fact, I don't ask anything from you. All I want is to help you to be yourself. This is one of the reasons a few are bound to leave me, because they are in search of someone who can take their responsibility. But they are not aware that the moment you lose your responsibility you also lose your freedom. The moment you surrender to anyone, dead or alive, you destroy yourself - you commit a suicide as far as your individuality is concerned.
But there are people who will feel much relief, relief in being free of responsibilities. Somebody has taken the burden on himself; he is your savior. Now it is easier for you just to believe in him. There is nothing easier in the world than belief, because you don't have to do anything at all.
With me there is no possibility of any belief. I will destroy all your beliefs so that you can be a freedom, a bird on the wing in the open sky. But very few are the people who are in search of freedom. Those who are not in search of freedom are bound to leave me; it is natural. And I don't prevent anyone, because even to interfere is against my approach and my respect for individual dignity.
Secondly there are many who are not interested in understanding existence, their own being, but are very much interested like small children in puzzles, esoteric ideologies, occult phenomena. Just because something is irrational, illogical does not mean that it is truth, does not mean that it is going to give you your innermost being and its treasure. There are thousands of esoteric schools, theologies, theosophies and they are very interesting in a way - but they are interesting because you are retarded! They look very magical and there are people who exploit your retardedness.
The founder of the Theosophical movement, Madame Blavatsky, was found guilty of strange kinds of things; you cannot call them crimes, you can simply call them fraud. She had a servant named Damodar. While she was traveling by train she would be in first class and Damodar would be in third class. Suddenly Damodar would fall flat on the floor of the compartment, unconscious, foaming.
Naturally, the train was stopped, people gathered and then Madame Blavatsky would come and do some abracadabra. Damodar would immediately open his eyes and everybody would see "what a tremendously spiritual powerful woman..." And nobody knew that he was her servant and that was his only job. Finally in a court case Damodar was forced to admit that he had played a part in many kinds of frauds.
Beautiful letters still exist, that were written by Blavatsky herself. She made a special ceiling... Her followers would sit in Adyar, Madras, with closed eyes in the dark night - no light because divine masters don't want to be seen. Damodar was hiding and would slip a letter from the ceiling. A light would be brought in... the letter was coming from Master K.H.
Those are beautiful letters; they are collected and published. There was no need... the letters themselves are significant, but this way they became very mystical.
Now the followers were not just reading letters written by human hands, but by a great master who is the guide of all those who are in search of the ultimate truth.
I have been in the place in Adyar from where those letters have been dropped, and strange is the gullibility of human beings.... The writing is clearly human, the paper is material, the ink is material, and looked at closely, anybody could have figured that it is the writing of Blavatsky herself and nobody else. But when you want to believe you become blind. When you want to believe you don't listen to any rationality, your own reason ... it feels good to believe.
Blavatsky created one of the greatest esoteric schools in the world, the Theosophical movement.
And the reasons people believed in that movement were all neither rational nor mystical, nor based on spiritual experience. In a certain way they were cunning, fraudulent, but very sufficing, very satisfying, very gratifying.
Just today one of my secretaries, Anando, informed me that a nice French gentleman is here.
Nothing is wrong with the person, he just believes that he can heal spiritually - and there are thousands of "spiritual healers" in the world. If they are really true there should be no need of any hospitals. Naturally, because he does not understand much English - he is French - all the French sannyasins immediately gathered around him and he talked about me.
These are the ways people are tricked. First he said, "Your master has the biggest spiritual aura that I have seen in my lifetime." Naturally you feel very gratified: your master has the biggest aura. He has to have, because he is your master, he is no ordinary master!
And he must have heard - it is all over the world in every newspaper, in every language - that I have been poisoned in America, and the poison has affected my body badly. So he said, "Your master's aura is the biggest, but on his left hand, just on the top of the left hand there is a black hole."
Now there he missed! The problem is with my right hand, not with my left hand! And the poison cannot create black holes. But just this mistake reveals what he was trying to do....
Everybody knows that I walk like a drunkard. Now nothing can be done about it; I have been walking that way my whole life. I am a man who is utterly drunk.
So he said, "His aura is great, but the energy of the aura is not flowing into his legs. I can heal him and I have come here to heal him."
Naturally my people would think that this is good if somebody has come from France, from far away to heal me. But I receive dozens of letters from this corner or that corner of the world that their desire is to heal me.
Why this desire...? They don't want to learn something here; they don't want to heal themselves here. The simple arithmetic is that if I allow anybody to heal me then all of you will naturally think that the greatest healer has come. These people are not necessarily cunning, are not necessarily deceptive, they may authentically believe that they are capable of healing.
Just a few days ago Doctor Shyam Singha came from London. He was once my disciple, but because he was doing things which are absolutely against humanity, sincerity, truth - he was exploiting people in my name - I had to expel him from the sannyas movement. He was moving around the world, telling sannyasins that he can do this, he can do that and all that he can do is to manage to take as much money from people as possible. He was exploiting on every excuse in the name of healing, in the name of opening your chakras, in the name of raising your kundalini, in the name of cleansing your past life and its evil effects...!
When so many people reported that he was exploiting simple people I had to debar him and announce in the papers that he does not belong to the sannyas movement. And I had to inform him that he cannot enter into the campus. He has been here two times, but was turned away from the gate; he was not allowed in. He must have seen this as a great opportunity - that I have been poisoned.
Nobody knows who has made him a doctor! He does not have any qualifications for it - but there are many doctors in the world and they go on healing people, homeopathically, naturopathically, spiritually... Many are the names but the business is the same.
So he wrote a letter asking if he can come and heal me; if I would simply send my signature on my letterhead so that nobody prevents him at the gate and he is allowed in the campus.
I am not sick, and I don't need any healing. The poison was given to me two years ago. Because it has not been able to kill me, the man who was responsible for prosecuting me has been fired from his job as Attorney General of Oregon in America. He has been fired because he could neither manage thirty to forty years of jail punishment for me, nor a good dose of poison to kill me, nor to put a bomb in my room and destroy me.
One of my attorneys was here just a few days ago. He said, "That poor government attorney tried hard; he did his best." But I have not committed any crime - all is fiction. He had a list of thirty-four crimes that I was supposed to have committed. It would have needed at least one thousand years of jail.
"That long," I said, "I would not be able to live! You should consider the fact: one thousand years of jail? It is hilarious; just think of something practical. The whole list is an absolute lie."
They could not give me the poison in such a dose that I would have died in the jail. It became clear from the statement of the United States Attorney, Charles Turner, that they did not want to make me a martyr. They were afraid that if I were to die then again another Christianity will be born; then again another religion, another fanatic fundamentalist group of people will gather in sympathy with me.
The court ordered that I leave the court, that I go to the airport immediately. My airplane was waiting; I had to leave immediately. Perhaps they were afraid that if I died before leaving then the sympathy of the whole world would be with me, and against Ronald Reagan and his company. Out of fear they could not give the whole dose; otherwise one dies within twelve hours.
That's what the experts from England have informed me, who have presumed that the poison given to me was thallium. It kills within twelve hours, but if given in small doses it takes time. It may kill within six months, but now even that time has passed.
The poison is out of my system.
Existence cannot be so cruel! And there is no black hole on the left hand.... So please, next time when you talk, remember: my right hand has some pain, but that too is not something that needs spiritual healing. It is a physical thing and it needs physical healing; no spiritual healing is needed.
And as far as the spirit is concerned, it is never sick; it is intrinsically healthy and whole. It is the body which is bound to become sick and some day old and some day it dies.
But there have been spiritualists of all kinds who don't understand that there is an immense difference between spirituality and physical existence.
I have heard about a young man whose father was a member of a Christian Science group.
In England there has been a very influential group and in America also: Christian Science. The young man was asked, "What is the problem, your father has not been seen for three weeks?" They were meeting every Sunday.
The young man said, "It is difficult; he is very sick."
The old man said, "Nonsense, sickness is only a belief, imagination! And he is an old member of our group. We don't believe in sickness, just remind him, 'You are not sick!'"
He said, "I will remind him."
After two weeks they met again. The old man said, "What happened, he has not come?"
The young man said, "What can I do? Now he believes he is dead."
The body has to become sick, the body has to become dead also. One should think of experiencing the spiritual, the eternal, the immortal. One should not waste time on such stupid ideologies, which have been prevalent all over the world.
There are people, simple people, who immediately think that miracles can happen. And the greatest problem is that if you are very trusting something can happen. Seventy percent of sicknesses are illusory; they are only because you believe you are sick. That's why seventy percent of people are helped by any kind of medical approach other than allopathy - even simple sugar pills work, the scientific name of which is homeopathy.
I used to live next to a Bengali fellow....
He was a great homeopath, but he himself used to go to the hospital when he was sick.
I asked him, "What is the matter? You are such a great homeopath, you have treated so many people." And it is true, he had treated...
He said, "I have treated, but I cannot treat myself; I know they are sugar pills. Somebody who does not know and believes in me, may be helped."
And it has been found that seventy percent of people are helped by any kind of medical approach, except a very few stubborn people who are determined not to be healed whatever happens. They torture doctors, they torture allopaths, they torture homeopaths, they torture spiritual healers, they torture everybody. They are very inventive; they go on finding new diseases, even diseases for which the doctors don't know the name.
Because of this homeopath doctor - I used to sit in his dispensary... A woman used to come almost every day, and the moment the woman would come, he would say, "My God, this woman is not going to die. She has no disease, she is perfectly healthy, but she goes on reading medical periodicals and finds out new diseases. Even I don't know," he said. "When she tells me that this kind of disease is happening to her, then I know. But it makes no difference, because I have only one medicine whatever the disease."
There was a doctor who was tired of a young man, because every day he was standing there. He was poor, he could not pay, and the doctor had tried in every way to convince him, "You are perfectly healthy."
But every day something new. One day it is stomachache, one day it is a headache.... He told me, "What should I do? It seems cruel because he is poor, an orphan, uneducated, unemployed..."
I said, "Do one thing: send him to me and just tell him, 'He is a very difficult person; he knows, but he does not want to waste his time, so he is very secretive - but he has the power ... if he touches water, the water can heal anything - but he will not touch it. But you remember, remain insistent. Sit in front of his door.'"
He came nearabout nine o'clock in the evening and he said, "I am suffering badly from stomachache."
I said, "I am not a doctor and if you are suffering, suffer. Why should you bother me? When I have stomachache have I ever gone to you and tortured you?"
He said, "No, you have never come."
I said, "That makes it simple; just go home."
He said, "It is strange, I have been told by Doctor Barat, the famous doctor, that you have a power, a spiritual power. If you can give me a glass of water and touch the water I will be healed."
I said, "I cannot do that."
He said, "Why can't you do that? It is not much I am asking. I can bring my own water, I can bring my own glass; you simply touch...!"
I said, "I cannot touch at all! Why should I lose my spiritual power?"
He said, "Now, you have accepted that you have spiritual power."
He ran home and brought a big bottle full of water.
I said, "I am not going to do it because a stomachache is not something immortal, it will disappear sometime. It will teach you patience, suffering, acceptability and it will give you great qualities. I cannot disturb your life."
He said, "You seem to be a very hard person. You cannot just touch my bottle?"
I said, "I cannot touch it."
Twelve o'clock in the night... I used to live with my aunt; she was listening from her room. Finally, she came out and said, "You are also almost insane! If he wants to be touched, just touch the water and get rid of him. Wasting time for three hours. I have been listening - there is a limit!"
I said, "Nobody can convince me, you simply go and sleep!"
She said, "I cannot sleep because this man is sitting there."
And the man said, "This is a good opportunity." He touched the feet of my aunt and said, "Just help me, he seems to have no heart at all... three hours and I am suffering so much from stomachache."
I said, "Listen, I can touch, but you have to promise me not to tell anybody, because I don't want a queue the whole day, I have to do something else too."
He said, "I promise, absolutely promise: in the name of God I will never tell anybody."
I touched his bottle. He immediately drank the whole bottle and he said, "My God, I have never felt so high, not only is the stomach completely cured, other small diseases, they are gone and I feel so much power."
I said, "Remember the promise."
He said, "Just one thing, my mother is very sick."
I said, "You have started."
He said, "No, I will not tell anybody, I will just fill the same bottle."
I said, "That you can do, but don't bring anybody here and don't bring your bottle again! Once I have touched, that's all!"
And you will be surprised to know that he became a healer instead of being a crackpot hypochondriac. He would fill the same bottle with new water. But because I had touched the bottle, even though the water went on changing, he was curing everybody. People started coming to his home from faraway villages, and he enjoyed it very much. He came to thank me.
I said, "You should not come here."
He said, "No, I have not come to ask anything, but just to tell you that the bottle is working."
I said, "You cure as many people as possible."
After many years I passed from that village again. By that time he had become a very famous healer.
Doctor Barat, a very famous doctor, said to me, "What have you done? Because I used to have migraine once in a while and I had to ask that stupid boy, 'Will you give me some water from your bottle?' And it is a miracle - the migraine disappeared."
I said, "It is spiritual healing, but never tell anybody about it."
He said, "But I had never thought that you really have that power. I was just joking and just wanted to get rid of that fellow. And now whenever I have any trouble, instead of my own medicines, I send my car to find that boy. He comes in the car with the bottle - just a cup of water and it works!"
I said, "It has to work... spiritual power."
The question is if you trust, then anything...
Only thirty percent of diseases cannot be cured by your trust. They are really diseases; they need right diagnosis and right treatment.
I don't want any kind of stupidity here. I have heard of a few people who have already started feeling great well-being, experiencing "spaces that they have never known." My librarian, Kavisho - because she is French she has almost become the leader of other sick people.
I warn you: just forget all about this "great space"; don't corrupt my simple people. And you don't think that you are a cunning person; you believe that you have spiritual powers, but you don't even know what meditation is. You have not encountered your own being. So you are simply wasting your time in spiritually curing people.
First find yourself.
That's exactly what Socrates said, "Healer, first heal thyself."
First know thyself.
Unless you know yourself all is fiction - your sickness, your health, both are meaningless because the reality is the grave. Perhaps somebody will die from disease and somebody will die with spiritual healing. It makes no difference. The only difference that makes a difference is that when death comes, in your innermost being you are absolutely alert and aware of your immortality. That is the only real healing: real being.
These are just childish games, and because people want something great to happen to them, anybody can convince them: "Look, great things have started happening."
Great things happen, but not through anybody else.
You have to follow the path absolutely alone.
The people, Satyam Samved, who may have come and left must have found that I am not a man in any way to nourish your stupidity. I am not the man to help you believe in great things: in God...
I am not the man to make you believe that your heaven is certain. On the contrary, I start destroying your beliefs and people become afraid and escape. Those who have left will repent, because they will have fallen into somebody's hands who will satisfy and gratify whatever the desire, but that is all imagination.
An authentic experience that makes you free from mind and from body - I am interested only in that experience, not in anything else; anything else does not matter.
Police Officer O'Leary is cruising around in his patrol car one night. He is on the lookout for trouble.
He sees two little old ladies in the front seat of a Chevrolet convertible, parked in a used car lot. The car lot is closed so O'Leary drives up alongside the Chevy and asks, "Are you two ladies trying to steal this car?"
"Certainly not," says one of the ladies, "we purchased the car this afternoon."
"Well," says the cop, "why don't you start it up and drive out of here?"
"We don't drive," replies the other little old lady. "And besides we are waiting. We were told that if we bought a car here we would get screwed."
People are just waiting in used car lots.
This is not that kind of place...!
Arriving home from school one day Herschel Goldberg asked his father, Hymie, if he can take their dog Petunia for a walk.
"No," says Hymie, "you can't because she is in heat."
"What? What does 'in heat' mean?" asks Herschel.
"Don't be worried about what it is," replies Hymie. "Anyway I have just thought of a way to fix the situation."
So Hymie goes into the garage and gets a rag, pours some gasoline over it and then wipes Petunia's tail with it.
"Okay," says Hymie, "now you can take her for a walk."
Herschel is delighted and disappears down the street. But an hour later he returns without Petunia.
"What happened?" asks Hymie. "Where is Petunia?"
"Well," replies Herschel, "everything was fine for a while. She was playing with me and my friend Irving when all of a sudden she ran out of gas. So now Irving's dog is pushing her home."
Yes, Beloved Master.