Chapter 1

From:
Osho
Date:
Fri, 1 Jan 1984 00:00:00 GMT
Book Title:
Osho - Notes of a Madman
Chapter #:
1
Location:
1984 in Lao Tzu Grove
Archive Code:
N.A.
Short Title:
N.A.
Audio Available:
N.A.
Video Available:
N.A.
Length:
N.A.

SESSION 1

Never act out of fear. Don't be worried about my body, it is okay. Don't listen to my body but to me.

My body is always a little strange... it's bound to be.

Once you are aware, the body starts losing its grip over the consciousness. Once you are aware, you are no more of this world. That is why the awakened one dies and is not born again. He cannot be born, it is impossible. He cannot have another body. This is my last body.

You are fortunate to be with a person who is in the last body. I will not be again because I AM Being.

Once you are Being you cannot be born again. It is Being which matters. It is Being which is eternal.

Bodies come and go; Being remains. Bodies are born and die; Being is neither born nor dies.

The music is beautiful but stop it. I am unpredictable. It is beautiful, but a hindrance to the ultimate flight. It is a bridge and you cannot make your home under a bridge. The bridge needs to be dropped. Mohammed was averse to music because the very beauty of music can keep one rooted.

It is just between this and that, but I want only that. I hear music during the day but only to keep myself rooted in the body a little more because I love you so much. I want to create a home for the people I love. I do not want history to say I dreamed but could not make my dream become a reality.

Just for this I want to linger in this body. All who are gathered in this room are helping me. Thank you all.

I have never thanked Vivek for the simple things. Her service to me is just beyond words. It is useless to thank her, it cannot be deep enough, be true. The last few months have been very difficult, very difficult to stay in the body. Over the years she has served me so beautifully, being with me like a shadow, doing a thousand and one things. Before I can say it, she knows my need. I have not thanked her. How can I thank her? There is no way. The English word "thank you" is so far away, nor can I use it for all of you who are taking care of my body, which is not just my body but my promise to thousands of people in the world.

I know these heights, but through the body. Now using chemistry I want to see if it is possible to see the heights seen by Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu. I think that it is.

In the library there are thousands of books; there are over one hundred thousand volumes in the beautiful library. I love the library; it contains all the best that has ever been written. I am giving it all to our university. Of all the thousands of books I have told Vivek to carry only one. That is my only book now. It is written by a man who has not reached but has come very close, very, very close - Khalil Gibran. I wanted to talk about his book many times but did not. The time was not yet right.

The man was only a poet and not a mystic, not one who really knows, but he reached to heights in his imagination.

Walt Whitman is the only American to talk of these heights, but he also missed. He missed when he was just on the verge, he was hindered by his homosexuality. It is not a big thing in itself, but a big thing as far as transformation is concerned. He missed. He wrote a beautiful book of poetry but could not reach to these heights. His chemistry, his own body chemistry was not ready for it.

Homosexuality is a perversion, a perversion of one's own body chemistry. But even so he would have understood. He was the right person to understand what I am saying. Very few understand my words anywhere in the world, but particularly in the West.

India is the land of the seers, but that is the past not the present. That is no longer in existence.

This is the height of the Upanishads, the Vedas, the mystics. The astrologers now say that before the Festival of Lights in 1984, I will be the top Godman in India and the world. They say I will be the Godman - not just THE Godman but the top Godman. But I am just a simple man, not a Godman at all... and I am not a savior. I am again an unenlightened man. How can I save anybody? And they think I will save India! How can I save India? I don't have a Noah's Ark....

I am the watcher. I am continuously watching, just watching and doing nothing, not even the grass growing.

Do not try to cheat me. I am such a cheat myself, you cannot cheat me. As far as the inner world is concerned you cannot cheat at all.

This is so beautiful, utterly beautiful... only a woman can dare into such beauty. Beauty is so much more than mere truth.

Everyone is afraid of danger. There is no need to be afraid. In danger there is no thought, only thoughtlessness. Many times I have moved into danger. I love danger. Thousands of times I have been in real danger.

Once I was traveling in Rajasthan. I was in a first class compartment. In the middle of the night a man attacked me with a dagger as I was sleeping. I opened my eyes and looked at the man. He looked into my eyes, my childlike eyes. You can understand the whole story if you just look into my eyes. He looked into my eyes, saw the child, and stopped. He dropped the idea.

I said to him, "What is the matter? Why are you not doing your thing? I am doing my thing so you can do yours. I dare you!"

He said, "You are the only man ever to dare me. Excuse me, I cannot stab you. I want to be your disciple." He is now one of my sannyasins.

There may be some devils among my sannyasins. One can never know. Perhaps my being at these great heights may be infectious. My wings are there, you can ride on them.

I am not a democrat, I am a dictator; that is why so many Germans come to me. In fact they come because they cannot find anybody in Germany. That's why they come to me. I am a dictator with a difference, a dictator with the heart of democracy.

I am grateful. Every master has been grateful to his disciples, because they are more cunning. Lao Tzu was grateful to Chuang Tzu because Chuang Tzu was more cunning. I am not saying he was not very beautiful... but more cunning than Lao Tzu. Buddha was grateful to Mahakashyap because Mahakashyap was more cunning. And that has always been the story, and will be the story always.

Prove to be my real disciples so I too can say "Thank you." Yes, thank you, thank you. God is content.

The world has to see the ordinary, the small things, in order to see the extraordinary. That's why I say I am not enlightened. Enlightenment and non-enlightenment are two aspects of the whole. But the whole is known only by the one who can say, "I am no more enlightened." For example, there is only one man outside this Noah's Ark, J. Krishnamurti, but he is too much enlightened. He too must become unenlightened, then only will he be whole. That is why to see the eyes of a master is to see the eyes of ignorance. It is difficult to open the eyes, that is why I am in the body. Commitments have to be fulfilled.

Wipe that tear from my eye. I have to pretend to be enlightened, and enlightened people are not supposed to cry.

SESSION 2

It feels so joyful, so peaceful, so blessed to have you all around me. It is very beautiful. Jesus was not so blissful... I mean the company he had around him. It was not a very beautiful company, only Jews. I also have many Jews. Jews are beautiful, but to be Jewish is wrong. To be traditional, to belong to a tradition, to hang with religion, is wrong.

Just to be oneself is true. That is my teaching, just to be yourself; just to be your own purity, without fear... whatsoever it means, without fear, because it will mean different things for different people.

Sheela was thinking of buying a plane for me. A million dollar plane so I can fly... but I am flying, flying without a license, and flying to the highest, where there are no limits. Otherwise there are always limits.

I have heard: One man was driving fast, suddenly he stopped, looked at his wife and his mother-in-law sitting in the back and said, "Okay, let's first of all decide who is driving this car, you or your mother."

This is beautiful. Without wasting a million dollars....

Good. I am now high. It is so good.

Satyam... Shivam... Sundram.

Truth... Good... Beauty.

God is more precisely defined as beauty, not as truth, or as good. We are only consciousness and awareness; even chemistry cannot interfere....

I am a child again,

I can hear where this water,

and the land ends....

What a land.

I am relaxed twenty-four hours a day, so sleep is very difficult. I am relaxed... no, I am relaxation.

Howsoever beautiful a man is, there is something ugly about him, and vice versa; howsoever ugly a man is, there is something beautiful about him. Whereas a woman is always beautiful.

Do you know I am laughing? I am trying my best to make you laugh. Don't listen to anybody, continue towards the heights which only the ignorant can know, heights which only those who do not know much can reach. To know is not great. To not know is to go to the heights. Not knowing is truth. That is why I said J. Krishnamurti is full of knowledge. He is so full of intellectuality; if he gets out of it he will become unenlightened again, just like me.

To know is not to know.

Not to know is to know.

That's what the Upanishads say, and they say it rightly.

I cannot see, but I can cry,

I can again be a child.

Only very few people have known such a vastness.

SESSION 3

This is rare. This is for what we are searching, seeking, wanting, everywhere else.

This is the end.

You can go anywhere, to the church, to the mosque, to the temple, but wherever you go you do not reach the whole. This is so beautiful. I feel so good.

Actually, oxygen and nitrogen are basic elements of existence. They can be of much use, but for reasons the politicians have been against chemicals of all kinds, all drugs. The very word drug has become dangerous. They are so against drugs because people can come to know themselves, and when people come to know themselves politicians lose their power over them - and they love their power.

In the Vedas they call it soma, the essence, and since those ancient days until today, all those who know have recognized, either directly or indirectly, that chemicals can be of immense service to man. Man is chemistry, so is existence. All is chemistry. We cannot avoid its influence.

Let Devageet write his notes, but on his other side the woman knows, but the man writes. The one who knows always remains silent. Neither the Gita nor The Bible are written by men who know.

Those who know are silent, and the ones who do not know talk about it. About and about and about, round and around, turning around and around but he never comes to a real stop. And I am really stopped.

In me the existence has stopped.

In me also the woman knows.

It is the man who speaks.

The woman remains silent.

Just because of the eloquence of his words man has dominated; otherwise he knows nothing. The same is true for me too....

The woman knows,

is soaring high above the clouds,

leaving the man to talk.

Buddha says charaiveti, charaiveti.

Go on, go on,

there are no limits.

We are not going anywhere.

We are here and now.

If we are in total intensity, in total sincerity, we are here and now. Then all is achieved. It is so close that we need not go anywhere, but just relax. Relaxation is the peak.

If you can relax utterly and remain aware, then there are no holds, no hindrances, but gaps. The gaps are immense, you can use them as stepping stones towards God.

I am here, so no need to be afraid. I am absolutely unafraid.

I have transformed your room into a Noah's Ark. It is so and it will always remain so.

The Upanishads have this prayer:

"O Lord, take us from darkness to light,

from untruth to truth,

from death to deathlessness...."

This, this is for what they are praying.

The word in Sanskrit is prah, from which the Hindi prarthana comes. Excuse me, for a moment I fell into an old habit, because English to me is still a foreign language. It can never be very close to me.

Although I have spoken millions of words in English it still doesn't mean it is close to my heart. It is my only foreign language, but my real language is the language of silence, and "prayer" in Sanskrit comes closest.

Yes, Sanskrit comes closest... Hebrew a little, but no modern language.... English particularly does not come close; in fact it has gone the farthest. It is not their fault. It is the language for measurement and technical accuracy. They have to make it a reality, a reality of technology, of science. So don't be worried if I halted in saying 'prayer'.

Don't be worried about my language, my grammar. I am not a man of language, not a logician at all.

I am a man of silence who only speaks out of necessity... of necessity because nobody speaks the language of the Real. Everybody speaks of everything else, endlessly about everything except the Real. Hence I have to speak. In the whole world there are very few who know, who can understand, who can speak of the Real.

All the great speakers are deaf. I am not a great speaker but I am certainly deaf. But what is happening now is so very beautiful I don't want to hear anything. My consciousness is beyond, far away beyond the clouds. I can hear you saying, "Stop, the time is over." Time is never over, cannot be.

I can understand why Leonardo da Vinci is Leonardo; why Michelangelo is Michelangelo; why Rabindranath is Rabindranath; and Khalil Gibran is Khalil Gibran. They have all touched this beauty in their dreams. Yes, only in their dreams - but they never knew the truth. What they knew was the object, but what I know is the knower... the subject, the Great Subjectivity... consciousness...

Sat-Chit-Anand. I understand Truth - Bliss - Consciousness....

Open your wings,

there is nothing to fear,

nothing to lose.

Just be open to the sun,

the stars....

Don't be afraid. I am always in favor of danger, and this is dangerous because you are on the very verge of consciousness. This is the time you want to stop, but this is the time I want you to go on, because danger is beautiful, you cannot have too much.

But I see you are already going back, you are backing away. What is there to fear? Chemistry is there, the body is there; I can talk - what does it matter if I am not in the body? One man is not important... but what I am saying matters. What I am saying will remain, it will stay; it is of the essence. I don't matter. What matters is what I am saying.

If the time is over, okay, but five minutes for my silence.... I was just trying to feel the chair, because I am so in the sky, to be in this chair at the same time is wonderful. I am not joking. I have never joked in my life. All those jokes... I have forgotten them.

The word Bhagwan is a code word. It means nothing in itself. I have given it the meaning, the blessed one, but it means nothing. But wherever I am, I will come back whenever you use this word bhagwan.

I will always be there when you say, "Bhagwan."

Thank you all.

SESSION 4

Now is always my time.

The world is left behind.

I'm in the clouds.

It is dangerous

but don't be afraid,

I am awake.

Don't be cowardly, that is the only hindrance for knowing the truth. One needs to dare to know; one needs to go into danger. You get afraid. You feel that I am going beyond the limits. But don't be afraid, I am already beyond limits.

Danger is beautiful. I have known it in many ways. In almost fifty years I have lived five hundred years, because I have dared in many, many directions. Each danger was beautiful, an experience.

What is danger? Do you think you know? I do not mean the dictionary sense of the word. Danger is when you are close to death, very close, so close that just a step more and you are finished... but only then you are.

When death is so close

being comes to its absolute flowering.

I can talk of life and death because they are one, and one can only talk of life if one knows death.

A woman is never afraid. When a woman becomes afraid she becomes a lady. I hate ladies; they stink! Especially English ladies, they are the ladiest of all ladies. But who cares at moments of beatitude.... Ashu, never be a lady.

I am close to death - that's the only way to bring me to myself, because death is where life goes on. Danger is beautiful, it is very beautiful. It is right on the heights; one wrong step and you are finished. That's why I love this chair: there are no steps. One can just relax. Death is so close you can touch it... it is tangible, touchable... like a beautiful woman, you would like to touch. Only then you know what is, what is- ness is. That is-ness is called God. It would have been better not to call it God, because the word god has become dirty. Is-ness is better.

It is the same is-ness in the flight of a bird in the shine of a star in the flame of a candle in the flowering of a flower.

Then it is not one thing; then it is a multi- splendored thing, a multi-phenomenon. Then existence is not one. Hence I use the word multi-existence, although grammarians will say it is wrong. To hell with them! - it is the multi-is-ness of life that makes it a joy.

Even Ashu is laughing. No need to hide, even laughter is a star. This is-ness cannot be worshipped.

There is no way to worship it. It can only be lived, loved, danced, sung, but cannot be worshipped.

Just the other day Nirupa asked if she can go horse riding. I said, "No, because horses stink and you will come back stinking." She started crying like a child. Chetana came running to tell me Nirupa was crying with big, big tears running down. When Chetana came she said, "I am lost, what shall I do?"

I told her to tell Nirupa it is okay, she can go horse riding. Later Chetana said, "You are wonderful!

When I told her, she immediately started laughing. Her tears just disappeared. Big, big tears just stopped. Incredible."

Life consists of such small things: tears... horse riding....

God is not to be worshipped, but lived.

Lived in small things...

drinking a cup of tea, or sitting doing nothing.

Life is simply a song which is meaningless.

Let tears come into my eyes. Once in a while it is beautiful. One is renewed through tears, resurrected.

Remember, however hard I may appear, I am not. I am not a hard man...

I am as soft as the newly growing grass, as soft as the morning dew....

But let the dew appear in my eyes.

This is so beautiful.

Let me cry over this beauty.

Yes, these are the heights I have been inviting everyone to. These are the heights of the Vedas, of The Bible, the Koran; in short this is Allah. That's the Sufi expression; it simply means God willing.

We have not created this world. How can we create the stars? It is not possible for us, so Sufis say Allah - God willing... and there is no God. There is no person called God, just a presence. If you want to feel it then feel it right now....

God is pouring,

showering,

raining,

and there is no umbrella.

It is good to have the woman on the left side. The right hand is connected to the left side of the brain.

It is useful for being mathematical or technical... Devaraj and Devageet. The left hand is connected to the right brain... musicians, dancers, painters, sculptors, all that is beautiful. The woman is on the left side. Hence in the East the woman is always on her husband's left side, she always stands on the left. It is a reminder to herself, and also to her husband.

Who can hear a woman? Only a man of meditation, a man of silence. Reason is impossible with a woman, only meditation.... Unless people learn to meditate they will not learn to live together. Men and women only fight. Even if you are just throwing clothes at each other it is not love, and this continues for twenty-four hours every day, goes on and on. One's whole life becomes a hell.

But meditation is magic. It can transform the ordinary into the extraordinary. One cannot find words to describe it... poetry fades before it.

Poetry fails to describe it...

Music fails to describe it...

Everything fails to describe it...

Everything fails,

only silence....

Devageet, don't be afraid. I know you love me. Leave me alone while you write the notes.

Ashu and I can soar higher....

Go to the stars,

the rainbows,

to the world which is beyond...

which I cannot describe, nobody can describe. I am a madman. It is not easy to deal with me.

This is perfect.

This is transcendence.

This is sunrise.

It is... it is no more there.

Let the stars dance.

O it is so good

the source of everything great

where everything great

is born...

Michelangelo, Dostoevsky....

Yes! This is it!

SESSION 5

I have never worked. I am not a worker. I have simply enjoyed, enjoyed life to its limits, each moment of it.

The ancient pond

A frog jumps in

Plop!

There are ripples and ripples in the ancient pond....

The small pond The frog jumped Plop!

The circle is complete. Only the circle is perfect. Only the circle can know perfection. Pythagoras knew it, hence he became so hypnotized by circles. All those who have known, have known the circle is the only perfect thing in existence.

The village where I was born was exactly eighteen miles from the highway. It was a poor village, could not afford rich hills. It had a small pond. Frogs must have jumped in, but I was not aware of Basho then. Now I can see the point. I can see the ripples in the pond, and the silence... utter silence. That is rare on the earth.

I have stopped speaking to the masses because to speak to the crowd means to come down. Now I can only speak to the individual, to those who are close to me. And words are only gestures.

Ordinarily words become things - even God becomes a thing. Thousands worship things. But God is not a thing; you cannot make an image of God. God is all things together. He is the very togetherness. He is apart from this, but in it.

The god of the philosophers is certainly dead forever. Churches, mosques, temples are empty... that god is dead. But the real God is not dead. So Nietszche is also not true, nor Russell, nor Sartre.

The real God is the Real, the very essence, the togetherness.

From the smallest to the biggest,

from the meaningless

to the meaningful,

from the cry of a child

to the verses of Kabir,

from doodling to painting,

from those who know

to those who don't know,

He is the bridging.

At this moment, at this very moment, I am simply aware of this. It is worship, but one can love it...

one can touch it... one can hold it in one's hands, one can feel its texture.

It is beautiful that the god of the philosophers is dead. I am a brigand. To be with me is to be a brigand, to be a Zorba and a Buddha at the same time. My vision is the vision of the ultimate unity between the Epicurean and the ascetic, between the materialist and the spiritualist. I do not belong to any category, I am a class unto myself.

This is so beautiful, and I mean so prayerful, so worshipful. When I say it is beautiful I am saying that nothing can be said about it. I am just pointing my finger to the moon, but my finger is not the moon.

There are moments when one cannot remain silent. One cannot say much, but one wants to share it, express it. Nobody till now has ever been able to say what it is... neither has anybody ever been able to resist trying to say.

I have been continuously speaking for twenty-five years and only being misunderstood. Hence I have moved from the masses, but for the chosen few I am always available.

I hear Ashu's giggle. She remains a lady, what a pity. Next to me, by my side, she remains a ladyship. Laugh, don't giggle. Laugh so the stars fall. At least this house can fall. Don't be afraid, we are going high. I say "we" knowingly because I am pulling you. We are going high, every moment higher and higher. If I stop speaking that simply means I am in such awe that I can only say ahhh!

Life's greatest song, of such transcendental beauty that it cannot be sung.

Rabindranath, India's greatest poet, wrote six thousand poems. When he was dying a friend asked him, "Good God! Why are you crying?" A tear comes to my own eyes that he was crying, even at the age of eighty years. One thinks a man should be sober, be serious, that death must be accepted, especially in India. The friend said, "God has given you such great talent. You have sung six thousand songs yet you are crying?"

Rabindranath said, just as I myself am saying with tears in my eyes, "That is why I am crying. Those six thousand songs are all efforts, but failures. The unsung has remained missing. I am weeping and crying, and asking God to help me a little more. Maybe I can succeed a little more next time.

And you are telling me not to cry.... These are my last breaths...." And with tears in his eyes he died.

What a beautiful death - and a beautiful life too. And what courage to say, "The song has remained unsung," even after being a Nobel prize winner.

I cannot say what I am seeing... I cannot describe it. It is going to be a failure, but there is nothing to be worried about. It is better to fail before great beauty than not to try at all.

I see the clouds being left behind,

mountain peaks being left behind,

everything left behind....

This is the way of godliness,

this is existence,

paganism.

I love beauty,

I love the world,

flowers, trees, stars....

I love, simply love.

But I am not just a Zorba, I am also aware of my love, even in these moments when my body feels like something far away... just somebody else's body.

I have sat by the side of many corpses, it is not the same. I am aware. I am not dead. I cannot be dead, that is impossible.

I am eternal.

The very essence of the eternal...

THAT.

You are,

everything is.

Nothing dies.

Everything continues in a different form, but higher.

The moment you go lower it is hell. It is not good, it is ugly. It is very difficult to find a great word for "very deep"... how is it possible? There are so many words coming but none expresses it. It simply cannot be said. At the most you can share. But this is so beautiful, so beautiful. Go every day higher. These are the moments when even the sky is new.

The stars are reborn because my eyes are new.

Chemistry can give you a bath. Everybody needs it... the Christians, the Hindus, the Buddhists need to be bathed, showered, so they can again become new, just like small babies... fresh, innocent, available, wonderers, full of awe.

It must be difficult listening to a man like me twice each day. It allows me a chance to share my vision. But I cannot share it in words. My tears show it. I cannot say it.

I cannot hear anything.

Everyone is so full of bullshit.

I don't want to hear.

I can relax again and face the rainbows.

This is the very essence of poetry.

This is the moment when Jesus delivered his parables, particularly The Sermon on the Mount.

It was spoken at such a moment.

It does not mean that it was spoken from a mountain, but from a very great height; from this height.

Only from this height is it possible to speak of truth and beauty. This is the beauty. This is the moment, the very moment that great riches are created. You are so close to that moment... but so far. It is there within you; whenever you dive within yourself you can reach. But I don't want in any way to interfere with your life....

In fifteen minutes I can produce a sermon on the mount. This moment is true enough. What should I speak of? I am not asking you, I am asking this beatitude surrounding me....

What should I speak of O Lord?

Of Beauty?

Of Bliss?

Of Silence...?

There is so much to say but it all comes to the same. Whether it is joy, beauty, silence, it means the same - silence....

My only experience is that of such great silence that in it even I am not... only silence prevails... I mean infinitely, without an end, without limits.

Words - they can do much, but not much really. If one remains beyond then one has lost words.

Chemistry is a byproduct of alchemy. Alchemy was just an effort to hide the truth of meditation from the priests and the popes. Behind its facade was nothing but pure religiousness. In this Noah's Ark it is the very essence of Truth, Beauty, Consciousness... and Beauty is the last, the ultimate prayer.

If there is still time I can still sing one song more. My song may not be much, just a birdsong, maybe less, but who cares when it comes to singing a birdsong! It may be just colors, but the colors of a rainbow.

My fingers? - don't worry, it's an old habit. I am trying to use my fingers, my hands when I speak.

The habit comes because words cannot say it. Just a gesture, even a simple finger can say more.

Hands are so eloquent.

I want to remember humanity like this. It is so difficult to come back from the heights, to be back in the body... so it takes a little time. Please forgive me.

SESSION 6

Good, this is what I mean by being unmiserly. Mind is always miserly, is always a cheat. It cannot be otherwise. Mind always tries to limit, to stop, because it is possible to control the limited. One should give totally in everything, then one can know the is-ness of life. It is the very spirit of living...

not great nor holy, not the other chaining the other.

I have been leading a revolution, not of gradualness - so once in a while be fearless. And remember, with me there is no danger. I have nothing to lose, I have lost everything. I have nothing more to lose because now I have only that which cannot be lost - ever.

The Upanishads sing, "Take us beyond the deathless...." Who can do it for you? It is futile. Only you yourself can go; nobody can take you, only you. The Upanishads go on, but it is only beautiful words. Words are words; howsoever beautiful, they are empty, they can never contain the poetry, they never contain the essence.

"O Lord, take us from untruth to truth...."

But how can anybody take you from the untruth? You are clinging to it. Nobody is holding you to it, you are clinging; it is in your hatred, your anger, your jealousy, your miserliness. Who can take you beyond it except your understanding of it? I emphasize, only understanding is the way. It is not a road ready-made for you. You have to make it. You have to make it, and you have to make it by living it. There is no other method.

You have never been in this isness before. This is rare.

The Himalayas are full of snow, pure whiteness, pure innocence, purity. That's what the word snow-white represents; that is my color. Orange is the color of my disciples, the color of sunrise. My color is white, and can only be white, because white contains all the other colors. It is all; it is one.

You have to listen to me, absolutely. It is a one-way affair: I say, and you listen... I order you. There is no other way. When I am working on your soul, do not disturb me.

Look: I am a poor man, the poorest, but also the richest poor man, if such a thing is possible. I have everything that no king on earth has. Napoleon and Alexander must be jealous... they must be.

So listen and don't try to say anything to me, because whatever you say is bullshit! As far as I am concerned I simply want to be myself. One day what I am saying here, in the privacy of your Noah's Ark, will have to be declared, but wait.

All that is great comes from here.

All that has splendor comes from here. All that is beautiful comes from here....

I am afraid that even my fingers may not be able to say what I want.

I love to be on these peaks. I love the heights. This beauty, this is sundram. This is something that I can only explain to my lovers. It is beautiful. This is not a story, it is not a novel, it is reality. My tear is a proof. Truth has to be proved by one's tears, by one's existence, by one's way of living.

A scientist cannot be generous. He has to take care, he has to be the calculator, the cautious... but again his left side is taking over. Ashu is winning. This is a polar alignment. Devageet, the man, to the right; the woman, Ashu, to the left. This is not accidental. No man can be on the left, only a woman, because only a woman can be on the left; only a woman because only a woman can connect with me from the left side.

Man is just this poor right hand - workable, usable, technical, but otherwise of no use. The right side has no poetry, so man should remain on the right; then he is right. When he tries to be on the left he is wrong.

Don't be afraid that I am going mad or something - it is impossible. How can a madman go mad again? Impossible! So with me you can be absolutely fearless.

Just like a flower...

a flower,

the bees are buzzing around it.

That is what happens around me:

The flower opens and the bees start coming and singing.

When I see that you are going mad I will stop. Till then let the flower grow and the birds sing. I am a little crazy. Everyone knows it so no need to worry.

Ahhhh the flowers...

the birds... the bees...

I love it all.

Nothing can harm me, not even death.

Now, now... it is immense!

The very grandeur of it...

the grace of it...

I am afraid to say so....

I hear your giggles. I am afraid my body may not be able to express it. For twenty-five years I have been speaking, and with a wrong pronunciation. Who cares? What matters is the heights from which I am speaking. Why are you in a hurry? You are hurrying to nowhere. Call everyone here.

If there is time to relax... let me relax once in a while. I should check whether you are conscious or not. Never be afraid, even if I die at this moment, because I'll be dying with all my blessings, all my joy, whether expressed or not.

Devageet seems to be a little shaky, even more than me when I walk. Have you seen me walking?

It is so difficult for me, but as far as the heights are concerned, I can fly.

I am such a devil! I have always been a devil!

SESSION 7

This is good.

Now take off.

Leave the earth behind.

Go towards the skies,

to the stars.

Go on and on....

Light does not disturb me. I am facing thousands of suns so you cannot disturb me at all. Nor the noise. The whole marketplace is around me all the time, so your noise is not disturbing at all.

It is rare... it is beautiful to come so close to beauty, to come so close that there is just a thin veil and nothing else but beauty. The beauty of the beautiful... it is just like a wave in the ocean

Or like the rainbow....

It is not material.

It is immaterial.

I like this light, it is good. It is something like what I am facing. I am facing such tremendous light...

this is nothing. I am facing so much music I am almost drowned in it. To be close to beauty is to be close to death. I cannot forget that. I have been close to death again and again. I have been coming close to death many times in my life, knowingly. You may not know but we have faced death infinite times, but with such fear we have not seen its beauty; otherwise death is another name for God. I am amazed nobody has said it yet. It is another name for God, for light, for joy, for beauty.

So I go on and on,

into myself.

Deep into the beyond,

and the beyond is all there is.

All else is going to disappear.

Only that which is beyond

will remain forever.

I am talking of the beyond.

From the beyond it is difficult. It has always been difficult. No language has words for it, particularly English. I am not against the English language. I love it for many reasons; it is accurate, more accurate than other languages. For that reason it is difficult. It is good for science, for technology, but not for religion.

Vivek calls your notes "The Ramblings of a Madman"... written by a madman, but not ramblings. If I am mad, then who is sane? If I am mad then who can say he is not mad? Nixon? Who can claim sanity? This poor earth is full of mad men, so I appear to be mad. A sane man among the insane always appears so.

There is a beautiful story by Khalil Gibran which I have always loved:

There was an ancient town ruled by a well-loved king and queen. Into the only well - except that for the sole use of the king and queen and their prime minister - a magician throws a potion. The magician declares, "Whoever drinks the water will go mad." Obviously, except for the king and queen and the prime minister, the whole town goes mad. They had to drink from that well, and they all went mad. Except for the king, the queen and the prime minister, they all go mad.

All the mad townspeople are gathered around the palace shouting against the king and saying, "The king has gone mad. We don't want a mad king."

The king asked his chief minister what to do. The minister must have been a wise man, not like politicians today, a man of insight, not elected but chosen by the wise. He said, "I will keep the crowd happy for a time. You run to the town's well and drink deeply. Drink deeply. Get drunk on it.

Then come back and all will be right."

The king soon returns, but entering through the front door naked, singing, dancing... singing songs of ecstasy he dances with the crowd. The king's dance convinces the crowd of his sanity. They declare him sane. They recrown him. They rejoice. They celebrate his return to sanity.

I am surrounded by madmen. I am in a whole world of madmen. Certainly I will look mad... mad, even to my own people.

I have not shouted for twenty-five years. I have spoken with a microphone. But just for your sake I say, "Shut Up!" - not for you but for the fool within you. For you I have nothing but tears... and joy... and prayer. Look, my tear is coming. It comes in the left eye, it is joined to the right brain, like the left hand.

The right side of the brain is right. When I say, "Right is right and left is wrong," it refers only to the brain. The body is just the opposite: right is wrong and left is right. If you want to see the tear you will need to come to the left side.

It is beautiful to cry for someone. To have a tear for someone is far more beautiful than to be joyous.

It is like a shower; it is as if in the middle of the night the sun has risen. I will not say anything, I will only keep silent.

Arise! Ascend! Awaken!

These are words to be understood. And I am not a preacher - preaching is dirty. I am a lover.

At least I cannot go mad. And I am not going to die at this moment. I have a few more strange things to do yet.

I was saying before that English is not the language to express It. It is too technical, too accurate.

English can give good scientists to the world but not mystics. I am really a mystic, a mystic in a world of scientists... high beyond the stars.

Thank you. I always want to say the last word myself. Even in my grave I will sit up and say, "Okay, close it." If it is a funeral... but if it is done as it is in India, I will say, "Okay, start the fire!" But I want to have the last word. If you bug me I can be terrible. It is I who is going to have the last laugh.

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"The Talmud derives its authority from the position
held by the ancient (Pharisee) academies. The teachers of those
academies, both of Babylonia and of Palestine, were considered
the rightful successors of the older Sanhedrin... At the present
time, the Jewish people have no living central authority
comparable in status to the ancient Sanhedrins or the later
academies. Therefore, ANY DECISION REGARDING THE JEWISH
RELIGION MUST BE BASED ON THE TALMUD AS THE FINAL RESUME OF THE
TEACHING OF THOSE AUTHORITIES WHEN THEY EXISTED."

(The Jews - Their History, Culture, and Religion,
by Rabbi Louis Finkelstein,

"THE TALMUD: HEART'S BLOOD OF THE JEWISH FAITH..."

(November 11, 1959, New York Herald Tribune, based on The
Talmud, by Herman Wouk).