The Dead Man's Answer

The absurd is needed to bring you out of your mind, because mind is reasoning. Through reasoning you cannot come out of it. Through reasoning you will move and move, but you will move in a circle.

That is what you have been doing for many lives. One thing leads to another, but the 'another' is as much a part of the circle as the first. You feel that you are moving because there is change, but you are following a circle. You go on moving about and about, around and around - you cannot get out of it. The more you reason how to get out, the more you create systems, techniques, methods how to get out, the more you become entangled into it. Because the basic problem is: reasoning cannot bring you out because reasoning is the very phenomenon that you are in.

Something irrational is needed. Something beyond reason is needed. Something absurd, something mad - only that can bring you out. All great masters have been devising things - their devices are absurd. If you think about them you will miss. You have to follow their line without any reasoning.

That's why philosophy is not of much use. Only religion can be of help - religion is absolute madness.

Tertullian has said, "I believe in God because God is absurd." There is no reason to believe in it - is there any reason to believe in God? Has anyone ever been capable of proving that God exists?

There is no reasoning which can support it - hence faith. Faith means the absurd. Faith means no reason to believe and you believe. Faith means no arguments, no proofs to prove, and you put your whole life at stake. Nobody can prove that God is, and you take the jump into the abyss. Anyone who is reasonable will feel that you have gone mad, and that's how all rationalists have always been feeling. A Buddha, a Krishna, a Jesus - they have gone mad, they are talking nonsense.

There is a whole school in the West which proves that all of religion is nonsense. And I am a religious man and I say they are right - for the wrong reasons they are right. They think that if you prove that religion is nonsense, that you have discounted religion, refuted it. No!

Religious men have always been saying, "We are absurd! We belong not to the world which is of sense, we belong to something which is beyond." And the beyond is bound to be nonsense. What sense can you make out of religion? If you can make any sense out of religion, you have missed.

Then you are in the world of theology, philosophy, systems, but you can never touch that purity which is always beyond reason.

Tertullian is right, he is true. He says, "I believe because God is absurd." Belief means belief in the absurd. You need not believe in this world that surrounds you - it is there; nobody needs to believe in it. How can you disbelieve it? It is so much there, so present; everything proves it is there.

Somebody can throw a stone at you and it is proved, because you will be bleeding. You have been hit; the stone is there.

But God cannot hit you like a stone. You cannot even touch him. There is no way. How to smell him? How to see him? And still you believe. Belief means always believing in the absurd.

But what happens when somebody is capable of believing in the absurd? He is out of his reason.

Suddenly the circle stops, the wheel stops, because you are not feeding it any more. Argument stops, thinking stops. Suddenly you are out of it, as if you have been awakened out of your sleep.

And the greatest sleep is of reason, because reason creates such beautiful dreams, and so real that everyone is deceived by them.

Once you are awake and out of the vicious circle, God is there, nothing else exists. Then there is no need to believe. Then you know. But before that knowing happens, faith will be needed. And all those philosophers who have been trying for centuries to prove that God is, they are not religious, they are not serving God; they are doing a great disservice. Because when you give proof, you make God also a part of the mind. And when somebody believes because God is a proved fact, he cannot get out of the reason.

So all religious people, all the masters, have devised ways to bring you out of the reason. Zen has its own particular technique, and that technique is known as a koan. A koan is an absurd puzzle.

You cannot solve it. Howsoever you try, your effort is irrelevant. "Harder and harder," the master will go on saying, "you are not trying hard enough." And he is deceiving you, because whatsoever you do will never be hard enough to solve the problem - because the problem is unsolvable! It doesn't depend whether you work hard at it or not. But if you do it with your totality, suddenly you will become aware of the absurdity - never before. Suddenly you will start laughing. The whole thing was nonsense. And if you can laugh the mad laugh that comes when reason is not functioning....

Have you seen a madman laughing? His laughter is totally different from your laughter. Your laughter is reasoned out, there is a reason for it. Somebody has told a joke, somebody has fallen on the street, slipped on a banana peel, and you laugh. There is a reason, something ridiculous has happened. Why do you laugh when a man falls in the street, slipping on a banana peel? Why?

What is humorous in it? There is something: the ego is the most ridiculous thing in man, and when a man falls on a banana peel, then even the banana peel is stronger than you. The whole absurdity of the ego is proved, that man is nothing - even a banana peel can throw you off balance.

The whole civilization of man is ego-centered. Whole cultures, nations, all dreams of greatness have come to man because he is the only animal who stands erect on two feet - that's why man goes on thinking that he is not an animal, he is different, he is unique, he doesn't belong to the animal world.

But when you slip on a banana peel suddenly the erect posture is gone. Suddenly you fall into the animal world, you are a helpless animal, nothing else. That's why it is ridiculous, seeing a man fall.

And think - if a beggar falls on a banana peel, you will not laugh so much; but if a prime minister falls, you will laugh more. Why? - because a beggar is a beggar; he was already a part of the animal world, nothing much. But this prime minister, the president, the king, the queen - you could never believe that the queen of England could fall just like other human beings. Impossible! They have created a false impression around them that they are infallible. And just a banana peel cracks the whole thing. You are exposed, that you are just a helpless human being. And not only a helpless human being, just an animal - on all fours, not on two legs.

It is ridiculous. You laugh, but there is a reason. Watch a madman laughing - there is no reason in it. That's why you call him mad. You ask him, "Why are you laughing?" If he can answer the why, then he is not mad. If he cannot answer the why, you say he has gone out of his reason.

When a koan is understood for the first time... not solved, because a koan cannot be solved, a koan is unsolvable, it cannot be solved. There is no way to solve it, it is an impossibility, it is an impasse for the mind - you cannot move any more. Suddenly you are stuck, and the master goes on saying, "Work hard! You are not working hard enough." And the more you work hard, the more you are stuck, moving nowhere: you cannot go back, you cannot go ahead - stuck. And the master goes on hammering you, "Fast, fast, harder. Work hard!" A moment comes when you are not holding any part of your being, your whole being is involved, and still you are stuck.

Suddenly, when the whole energy is involved, you become aware. And this happens only when you are totally involved, when you have put in everything that you can. Only at that peak, at that climax of energy, do you become aware that this problem is absurd - it cannot be solved. A laughter spreads all over your being, it is a mad laughter. And with that laughter everything changes, is transformed.

This is the first thing.

The second thing - then we can enter into the story - the second thing: you are all great imitators. It is easier to imitate than to be authentic, because imitation is just on the surface. Authenticity needs your center, needs you in your totality. That is too much. You get involved just on the surface, deep down you remain out.

Imitation is very easy, and the whole culture and society depends on imitation. Everybody is telling you how to behave, and whatsoever they are teaching you is nothing but imitation. Religious people - the so-called religious people, the priests, the theologians - they are also teaching you, "Be like Jesus, be like Buddha, be like Krishna." Nobody ever tells you, "Just be yourself" - nobody.

Everybody is against you, it seems. Nobody allows you to be yourself, nobody gives you any freedom. You can be in this world, but you must imitate somebody.

The whole thing is ridiculous, because these same things were said to Buddha. They were saying to Buddha: "Be like Rama, be like Krishna." He didn't follow them, that's how he became a buddha.

He became enlightened because he never became a victim of imitation. Nobody can imitate. If you imitate, you will remain false.

I have heard: a lion and a rabbit entered a restaurant. Suddenly everybody became alert, they couldn't believe their eyes. Then the rabbit said to the waiter, "Bring a lettuce for me - and no dressing."

The waiter was scared, but still he asked, "And what about your friend? What should I bring for him?"

The rabbit said, "Nothing."

The waiter asked, "Is he not feeling hungry?"

The rabbit stared at the waiter and said, "If he was a real lion, do you think I would be sitting here?

He is an actor."

The whole world has become unreal and acting, nobody is real. It is very difficult to find a real man.

If you can find a real man, don't leave him, just be near him; his reality will become infectious. Just being near him will be enough transformation for you. No need to do anything. This is what we have been calling satsang: being near a true man, a real man, an authentic man. Nothing else is needed.

Just being near him and watching and feeling the way he is - that's enough.

But the society has made you imitators, actors. You are not real, you are false. You have never been allowed to be yourself, and that is the only thing you can be, you can be nothing else. You can try, imitate, but it will remain just on the surface: deep down you will remain yourself... and that's how it should be. The falseness that you put upon yourself cannot become your being. How can it be? It can be at the most a dress, a posture, a superficial gesture.

The whole world helps you to be imitators. So when you come to a monastery, near a master, again you try the old methods you have been doing in the world. You start imitating there also. There they will not be of any help, they will be the barriers. In the world it is okay, because the whole world is of imitators. If you are real there you will be in trouble; if you are false, you will be accepted. This so-called world only wants you to be a shadow, not a real man, because a real man is dangerous.

Only shadows can be subdued, shadows can be obedient, shadows can follow; whatsoever they are told to do, they will do. A real man will not always say yes; sometimes he will say no, and when he says no, he means no! You cannot subdue him, you cannot suppress him.

So from the very beginning we train children to be false. And this is what we call 'character'. If they become really false, unreal, we appreciate them, we reward them with medals, we say they are real.

This falsity is called real, ideal. And if a child rebels, tries to be himself, he is a 'problem child'. He has to be psychoanalyzed, or he has to be sent to some institution where they can put him right - something is wrong with him. And there is nothing wrong, he is simply asserting himself. He is saying, "Let me be myself."

A small child, Tommy, was attending his first wedding ceremony. Somebody asked - a guest - "Tommy, to whom would you like to be married and when?"

Tommy said, "Never. I don't want to get married."

The man was surprised and said, "Why?"

He said, "I have lived too much with married people, and they are so false." And his father and mother were present there. "I don't want to get married because I want to be myself."

The wife will not allow the husband to be himself. The husband will not allow the wife to be herself.

Nobody allows anybody to be himself or herself, because this is thought to be dangerous.

Suppress! And this has suppressed society: if it is sad, it is bound to be so, it is natural. False people cannot be happy. They can be, at the most, sad; at the most, at their peak, they can be sad, depressed. Freud has said that for humanity there is no possibility, no hope for bliss. And he is right; the way humanity has been moving, if it goes on moving that way, only sadness, depression, a hopeless state is possible. Just carrying oneself somehow, like a burden - no dance, no energy bubbling, no vitality, singing, nothing, no flowers - just dragging along.

False people can only be of that sort. But when these false people get too bored, fed up with the so-called society, they go to a master in search of truth. There also they try their old techniques, but then they will miss there. It is okay to be false with false people, because it will be difficult to be real with them. But when you are in search of truth, when you come to a master and the urge has happened to you to know what reality is, you are not allowed to imitate. If you imitate you have carried your old pattern, your mode of existence, and that mode of existence will become the barrier.

In religion no imitation is allowed. But see religious people; you will see churches, temples, mosques, and you will find there the greatest imitators. That means there is no religion left - churches, temples, mosques are dead tombs now. With Jesus one had to be real, but with the pope of the Vatican you have to be imitators. Now the Christianity of the Vatican is part of the society.

Jesus was never a part of the society. He remained a stranger. All real religious people have remained strangers, they are outsiders. When they die, then a church is raised on their dead bodies; that church is part of the society, it is managed by the society, controlled by the society.

Society has many cunning devices. If you escape from the market you will be caught in the church, because the church is just the extension of the market. The market feeds the church, the market controls the church, the market is really the owner of the church. And a priest does not represent the divine, he represents the market.

The priest represents the economics of the society. And Marx is right when he says that religion has been playing into the hands of the capitalists, or the feudalists, or those who exploit and are powerful. Religion has been played just like an instrument of exploitation. And Marx is right as far as the religion of the Vatican is concerned, or the religion of Puri Shankaracharya is concerned, or the religion of Mecca and Medina is concerned. But it is not true about Mohammed, it is not true about the original Shankaracharya, it is not true about Jesus. He is wrong - because they existed not as part of the society, they existed in the wilderness, they existed as strangers, they existed against the society and imitation. They existed as divine messengers. That is the meaning of avatar, that is the meaning of the son of God, that is the meaning of a prophet, a paigamber - they existed as messengers of the beyond.

Remember these two things, then we will enter this story.

MAMIYA LATER BECAME A WELL-KNOWN TEACHER...

And remember, only one who has been a real disciple can become a teacher. One who has never been a disciple, one who has never known what discipleship is, one who has never been a learner, can never be a teacher. Before you can teach you must learn. But everybody wants to be a teacher without being a learner, your ego wants to be the master and not the disciple - then you will become a false master. And then not only are you in danger, you will lead many others into danger. A blind man leading other blind men - they are bound to fall in a pit.

Remember this, because ego wants to teach. It is so beautiful for the ego to give advice, to teach.

Sometimes, catch hold of this ego in you, because you are also doing that. You cannot lose an opportunity to teach. You have been losing thousands of opportunities to learn, but you cannot lose an opportunity.... Somebody is talking, you will poke your nose in. Somebody asks a question - you don't know what the question means, you don't know what the answer is, but you will give the answer, because ego feels very good when you appear to be knowledgeable. You know, and the other is ignorant; that's why there is so much attraction in becoming a teacher. Teach - then you are the knower, and the other becomes the ignorant.

This is the old trick: you have the riches and the other is poor; you have a position and the other is nobody; you are the knower and the other is ignorant. Whenever you can feel that the other has been thrown deep down, you are at the peak. This is exploitation: that's why there are so many teachers in the world but very few real masters. But this will always be so, this has been always so.

When Mahavira was born... he was a real master, and the Jainas in India were waiting for a tirthankara for many, many years. The twenty-fourth was to come, the twenty-fourth was awaited.

Jainas have a mathematics that in every kalpa - one creation - twenty-four great masters are born.

So twenty-three had already been born and the twenty-fourth was awaited. There was much waiting for the twenty-fourth, but how to know who is the twenty-fourth? When Mahavira came, he was the twenty-fourth, but eight others also claimed that they are the real - and those eight others led many astray.

They were great teachers, but not masters. They could talk, they could preach, they could argue; they were argumentative, debaters, and they influenced many people - because you are influenced by argument. You are not influenced by being, because to see the being you have to raise your consciousness higher and higher. Only then you can see the peaks. If you exist in the valley, how can you see the peak? You have to raise yourself higher.

To see Mahavira was difficult; but there was Goshalak, there was Prabuddha Katyayan, there was Poorn Kashyap and there were others. They were ordinary, but extraordinary minds. Ordinary in the sense that they had no evolved consciousness, they were not enlightened. But they were great scholars, greater than Mahavira, they were great arguers - they could silence anybody - logicchoppers, hair-splitters. And when they claimed many heard them, and Mahavira remained absolutely silent for twelve years.

Who will go to him? He was chased out of every village. Wherever he went people would chase him out, because he was silent - one thing - and you are always suspicious of a silent man, he may be from the CID, the FBI. So every village was suspicious of Mahavira because this man wouldn't speak, he would not even look at anybody. And he was naked! That created more problems, because people would ask, "Why are you naked?" And he would remain silent. So either he was a criminal hiding, or some madman who is naked, because only the mad are naked. Why should he be naked? Must be someone immoral, because moving naked in society is the most immoral thing.

And then not answering! "Either he is stupid, cannot answer, or he is suspicious - maybe he is an agent of some foreign country," or something or other. They would chase him out of the town; he was chased for twelve years. And we say people were waiting for him.

But just to wait is not enough. You need eyes to see. Jews waited for Jesus for thousands of years.

They are still waiting, and Jesus has already happened. What to do with the human mind? The Jews are still waiting for the messiah to come, and he has already come. Twenty centuries have passed. He came to them, he knocked at their door, they refused to believe him - because he was not talking the way they expected. And how can the divine messenger talk the way you expect? He is not part of you, he comes from the beyond, he cannot speak your language. Whatsoever he says will be destructive of you, he will destroy you. As you are, you have to be destroyed, only then the new is born. But the Jews refused to believe and they are still waiting.

And know well: if he gathers courage again.... I think Jesus is not going to gather courage again, because the way you behaved with him - it is enough! If he gathers courage again, if he forgets what happened twenty centuries ago, how you crucified him, how you insulted him, how you misbehaved; if he forgets it and comes again and knocks at the doors of the Jews - who have been again waiting - they will refuse him again.

They can accept ordinary people with extraordinary minds, but they cannot accept people with extraordinary states of being. Because to see that being you have to transform yourself. As you are you cannot see, as you are you cannot understand Jesus.

Remember well, that the ego would like to become a messiah, the ego would like to become a tirthankara, the ego would like to claim something which is not there. Ego is a great claimer; it possesses nothing, but it claims - goes on claiming. There are many teachers - be alert, otherwise you can become a victim.

Remember well: don't give any advice to anybody unless you have learned, unless you have passed through the process of discipleship. And discipleship is difficult, because you have to surrender. You have to drop your ego, you have to become a no-self. And this is the paradox: unless you become a no-self, you will never become a self. The false has to be dropped, only then the real arises. The false coin has to be thrown, only then the search begins for the real and the authentic.

MAMIYA LATER BECAME A WELL-KNOWN TEACHER, BUT WHILE HE WAS STUDYING UNDER A MASTER HE WAS ASKED TO EXPLAIN THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING.

He became a great teacher later on, but he had to pass through discipleship under a master. And he was given a problem to explain.

One of the most famous of Zen koans is, "Find out what is the sound of one hand clapping."

Immediately the mind will say, "Useless! The search is useless, futile, because how can one hand clap? Clapping always needs the other. How is sound possible with one hand clapping? - because sound is created by two things clashing. All sounds are created by two things clashing, so how with one hand?" So if you are a good logician you will immediately move away from this master because he is talking nonsense. It is not possible, and whatsoever you do you will never succeed - this is simple logic, simple reasoning. But you miss the point. That is the point!

Many times in your past lives you have gone away from a master because he demanded something impossible. But a master will always demand the impossible; only then you can change. With the possible you will remain the same. Whatsoever your mind thinks is possible, is within it. Whatsoever your mind says is impossible, is beyond it. Try for the impossible. Religion is the effort to reach the impossible. Religion is the effort to make happen that which cannot happen.

... HE WAS ASKED TO EXPLAIN THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING.

If he was an argumentative man, he would have left immediately. But Mamiya remained with the master, knowing well that this is impossible. "But when the master says it, there must be something in it. It may be impossible, it may look absurd to me, but when the master is demanding it, there must be something which I cannot see now." This is faith. This is trust.

If you say, "I cannot see. Unless you explain it to me first, I am not going to make any effort...." The master cannot explain it to you, because there is nothing to explain, the explanation is not there.

Only your change of consciousness will give you the eyes with which you will be able to know and laugh with the master; then too there will be no explanation.

The master demands the impossible because he demands trust. If he demands the possible - no need for trust. You can reason it out, you can figure it out; then you trust your mind when you have figured it out. But when you cannot figure it out, when your mind feels unable to do anything about it, simply refuses to do anything and still you remain, this is trust. Mamiya remained - he trusted the master.

ALTHOUGH MAMIYA WORKED HARD AT IT... and he started working.

There are only two possibilities: either you refuse the master or you refuse your mind. The fight is not between you and the master, the fight is between your mind and the master. When the mind is defeated, there is no barrier between you and the master - you become one. The disciple becomes the master, the master becomes the disciple, all the barriers are broken. The barrier is the mind, and the mind will say this and that and will try..."This master is mad: he is asking something impossible - nobody can do it. Don't waste time. Find someone who is reasonable."

But Mamiya tried, he worked hard at it. He refused the mind - refusal of the mind is trust. And mind is reasonable, so trust is unreasonable.

HIS MASTER SAID TO HIM ONE DAY, "YOU ARE NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH."

And he was working hard. But masters are impossible, you can never satisfy them. They will go on hammering you, hard and hard and hard - because you don't know how much you can do. You don't know anything about you.

When you say, "I am working hard," the master knows that only a part of you is functioning.

Psychologists say that even a very talented man, even a genius, never uses more than fifteen percent of his energy; even an Einstein never uses more than fifteen percent of his energy. What about ordinary men? They use nearabout three percent, five percent at the most. Ninety-five percent of your life energy is simply wasted. So when you say, "I am working hard," you don't know what you are saying. Your one fragment which you have been using may be working hard, but this is only one-tenth, the nine other parts are asleep. The master would like you to be total in it, because when you are total... only then the transformation.

"YOU ARE NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH. YOU ARE TOO ATTACHED TO FOOD, WEALTH, THINGS - AND THAT SOUND. IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU DIED."

What did this master mean? These are the ordinary attachments of the world. Food is an attachment, and it becomes a greater attachment when somebody renounces sex.

In a monastery, in a Buddhist monastery, you renounce sex, you live the life of a celibate. When you renounce sex, your whole energy becomes more and more attached to food. This is a problem to be understood, because sex and food are the two deepest things in you.

If you are too much in sex, you will not bother much about food. But if you are not after sex, then the whole energy begins flowing towards food. Hence, all your sadhus - those who have renounced sex - will always be after food. Look at Hindu sadhus, Hindu sannyasins with big bellies. What has happened? Why these big-bellied Hindu sannyasins? They go on eating and eating and eating - but this is a natural phenomenon; it has to be understood why this happens. They have renounced sex, so the energy that was moving towards sex, where can it move now?

And food and sex are basic. Food is more basic than sex, because you can live without sex but you cannot live without food. Living without sex is not a problem at all. And really, those who have lived with sex will find that it is easier to live without sex, because the other gets involved, and then the other also creates problems. You are enough problem to yourself, and the other creates more.

And when two persons live in a sexual life, it is not that the problems are doubled - no, they are multiplied. It is not a simple addition, it is a multiplication.

So those who have lived with sex know well that sex creates more problems than it solves. But by the time you know, you are so much in it you cannot get out. This is the problem: experience comes through experience - but then it is of no use, because you are already in it. And if you say this to somebody who is still out of it, he is not going to listen because he will say that it is very difficult to be alone, somebody else is needed to share. He does not know what is going to happen when he starts sharing. Because then you will start sharing the problems - there is nothing else to share.

Food is more basic than sex. Food is needed from the first moment a child is born - not sex. The child can live for fourteen years without any sex. But on the first day, the first moment, the first scream comes for food, because food is the base of your biological existence. Sex is not the base of your biological existence, sex is the base of the biological existence of the society - not you. Without sex the society will disappear; you can live, but without sex you cannot reproduce, children will not be born, the society will disappear.

If all become brahmacharis, celibates, which is impossible, then there will be world peace, real peace, because there will be nobody left. It will be global suicide. But you can exist without sex, that is not much of a problem.

So whenever your energy which is moving towards sex is stopped, the same energy starts moving towards food. These are the basic things. Hindu sannyasins or others, they go on eating too much.

So in every scripture - Jaina, Buddhist, Hindu - they have made rules for sannyasins not to eat too much. Why? - because they have stopped sex, now they know that they will eat too much. So many rules have to be made to protect the sannyasin, otherwise he will become a food addict, he will be mad - eating and eating and eating.

Eating can give you sexual pleasure, because the sex center and the mouth are both joined together.

That's why a kiss is such a sexual thing. Otherwise, why...? And if you are passionately kissing somebody, immediately you will feel sex energy arising. Why? ... Because mouth and sex are so far apart! They are not, they are joined; they are the two poles of one energy.

So whenever you starve the sex pole the whole energy moves to the mouth, so you will have to eat more, chew gum, pan or something. Or, if nothing else, you will have to talk continuously, because by talking the mouth moves. That's why people go on talking continuously the whole day. Even the day is not enough; if you sit by their side during the night you will see they are talking.

Mulla Nasruddin went to a doctor and said, "Do something! It is getting on my nerves. My wife talks too much in the night."

So the doctor said, "Where is your wife? Bring her, I will do something."

Mulla Nasruddin said, "You don't understand me. Nothing is to be done to her. Do something to me so I can remain awake, it is so interesting. I fall asleep... and she is talking, and it is so interesting.

She says such beautiful things and reveals such beautiful things; she never talks that way when she is awake. When she is awake she is talking rubbish. So give me something so I can remain alert and listen."

If you watch people, the whole night they are talking - continuously. Their mouth is moving, they are making sounds and doing all sorts of things. If one pole of energy is stopped, then the other starts because the energy has to be released somehow. You cannot contain it. It is just like if you eat and stop defecation - what will happen? You will have to vomit, there is no other way, because if you eat then the things have to be thrown out. If you eat, sex energy is created, then it has to be thrown out.

If you don't use sex as an outlet, then some other outlet has to be found.

This Mamiya must have become too much addicted to food. The master says: "YOU ARE TOO ATTACHED TO FOOD, WEALTH, THINGS - AND THAT SOUND."

When a man is patterned, when a man is conditioned for attachment, he may leave the world, but that doesn't make any difference. He may leave all things but the attachment remains, it starts working in new directions. You may leave the palace: then you have nothing but three robes, but you become attached to the three robes. The whole attachment, the whole energy that was attached to the palace, is now attached to three robes. It doesn't make any difference. You can go on dropping things, but the attachment remains the same.

This Mamiya had come to the monastery, he had left his life, he was a Buddhist monk; now there were no things. A Buddhist monk is not allowed many things: one bowl for food, water, three robes, one mat to sleep on - that's all, nothing much to bother about. He can put it on his back and move, because a Buddhist monk has to be a wanderer and he has to carry all his things himself. Nobody else can carry things for him: Buddha made it a rule so that you don't go on gathering things. If somebody else is allowed to carry them then you may go on gathering things.

Very few things - but the attachment! The master said: "YOU ARE STILL ATTACHED TO FOOD, WEALTH..." He has no wealth now, but attachments can remain without wealth. Because it is not a question of objective things, it is a question of subjective feelings. ... AND THAT SOUND - and that too becomes a problem. If you are too attached to meditation, meditation becomes your world. If you are too attached to your prayer, prayer becomes the barrier.

There is a beautiful anecdote in Hassid literature. Hassids are some of the most beautiful people in the world - Jewish rebels. They have a tradition, a valuable tradition, and the tradition is that whatsoever your mind demands, don't give that thing to the mind - wait. If you want to give, only give when the urge has left. If the mind says, "I am hungry," don't give food - wait. When the urge has left, give food; but don't give it when the mind demands, don't follow the mind, you remain the master.

Once it happened: one of the disciples of Baal Shem was ill, just dying. And when one is dying one has to do the prayer, the last prayer before one leaves the body; the last thanksgiving and prayer.

He was just on the death bed, changing sides, much troubled. So Baal Shem asked - he had come to see him and give the last farewell - he said, "Is there some problem?"

He said, "Yes, because the mind says, 'Do the prayer,' and I cannot do it unless the urge leaves.

When the urge leaves I will do the prayer, but I don't know whether I will be alive or dead. So I am changing my position again and again, so that I can remain alive and the urge goes."

Baal Shem said to his other disciples who were gathered there, "Look! This man knows what prayer is."

If the attachment is there and you are praying, the prayer has become of this world, because attachment changes everything to the material. Even prayer is a sin when you do it as an attachment.

When you pray, not as an attachment, not as a mind-urge, only then the prayer succeeds.

So the master says, "And that sound also has become an attachment. You are continuously thinking how to solve it. Don't be attached. Solve it, all right, but don't be attached. Don't become mad.

Work hard, but don't become mad - IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU DIED."

But Mamiya misunderstood, as ordinarily all disciples misunderstand. The master said: "IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU DIED." To whom was the master saying, "BETTER IF YOU DIED"? It was the mind, not Mamiya, because Mamiya cannot die, Mamiya is deathless. It is the mind, the ego, which is also trying to solve this problem which cannot be solved by the mind.

The problem will be solved only when the mind is dead, when the mind has done everything that it can do and then falls helpless and says, "No more is possible, I retire." When the mind retires and you are left alone for the first time without mind - consciousness is there, witnessing is there, but thinking is not there - the problem is solved, you have heard the sound of one hand clapping.

There is a sound, Hindus have called it omkar, aum - this is the sound. If you are completely silent you will hear it. And it is not created by any clash of two things. It is not created by two hands clapping, it is not through conflict. It is the universal music, it is the very sound of existence. It is not created, it is there.

Hindus say the contrary: because of this sound the universe is created. This universe is just a transformation of that sound, that beginningless, endless... the base of all. And the same is the experience of Buddhists, Jainas, Sufis, Hassids, all those who have known, the experience is the same; that there is a sound, a melody - continuous. If you become silent and the mind is not there, you will hear it for the first time. It is everywhere. It is the very core of existence. And this whole existence is just a transformation of that sound.

These mystics have said that even matter is nothing but condensed omkar, a rock is nothing but condensed aum. Just as the scientists of today say that matter is nothing but condensed electricity, just electric vibrations, mystics have said that matter is nothing but condensed sound, just vibrations of sound.

There is a possibility now to make a bridge between science and these mystics. If you ask scientists, they say sound is nothing but vibrations of electricity. If you ask mystics, they say electricity is nothing but vibrations of sound. That's why Hindus have stories that through music you can create fire; a particular soundwave and fire can be created - and now it is a scientific truth also.

Continuously creating a particular sound can produce so much heat - and there, you can try it yourself. The night is cold, you stand outside and simply do omkar. Vibrate aum within you as much as you can, so from your very toes to the head the aum sound vibrates. Suddenly you will feel the coldness has disappeared, the body is hot. And if you continue it, soon, in a very, very cold, freezing night, you will start perspiring. That's how Mahavira lived naked. That's how in Tibet, where coldness is below zero, Buddhist monks have lived naked. They sit the whole night under the sky, snow falling, and they are perspiring. They go on creating a particular sound.

But that sound also is not omkar that you create, because that is created; that, again, is the clapping of two hands. There is a sound uncreated, or, the very creation comes out of that sound. That's why aum has become the universal symbol of the ultimate reality. Aum is not a word, it is a sound symbol. Everything is condensed in it, or everything is manifested through it.

Mamiya's master said, "It would be better if you died, rather than being attached to food, wealth, things... AND THAT SOUND. IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU DIED." Mamiya misunderstood it. He thought this is going to be a technique. He thought, "So, I can manipulate death, so I will die." But how can you manipulate death? If the mind is the manipulator, you are alive. You can imitate, but you will be alive.

Even suicide is not suicide; because you have manipulated it you will be somewhere. But you cannot commit suicide, suicide is impossible. You go and you hang yourself - you are doing it, the mind is there. This mind will lead you to a new life, to a new womb. You cannot commit suicide - there is only one suicide known and that is samadhi, but then the mind is not the manipulator. That's why Buddha dies and simply dies, and is never born again. That's why we say when a man has achieved samadhi, the final enlightenment, he is born no more. Because the mind is gone, who can lead into a new desire, who can lead into a new motivation, who can lead into the new body? The mind has left.

There is only one death and that is the death of the mind. But mind cannot do it, because if you do it through the mind, the mind remains the doer and survives.

THE NEXT TIME MAMIYA CAME BEFORE THE MASTER, HE WAS AGAIN ASKED WHAT HE HAD TO SHOW...

Because these questions are not something you can answer; you have to show the answer through your eyes, through your very being, your face. The answer must be shown through you; you must become the answer. You cannot give the answer, because if you give, the mind will give - you can be the answer.

So... HE WAS AGAIN ASKED WHAT HE HAD TO SHOW REGARDING THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING.

MAMIYA AT ONCE FELL OVER AS IF HE WAS DEAD.

He imitated. He thought: "Master has said, 'Die!' - better die." So he thought, this is very good, so he fell down. But the mind is working; it is mind who has concluded to do this.

"YOU ARE DEAD ALL RIGHT," SAID THE MASTER, "BUT HOW ABOUT THAT SOUND?"

LOOKING UP, MAMIYA REPLIED, "0H, I HAVEN'T SOLVED THAT ONE YET."

This is beautiful, because the master is saying, "If you are dead, then the problem is solved. What about that sound? You must have heard it." Because when the mind is not, it is bound to be heard.

Then there is no possibility that you have not heard it if the mind is not there. When the mind is not there, it is always there. It is because of the mind, the turmoil of the mind, that you cannot hear it. It is always there, the rhythm is always there. If the mind retires even for a single moment it is there, you can know it - you can never miss it.

So the master says, "YOU ARE DEAD ALL RIGHT, BUT HOW ABOUT THAT SOUND?"

LOOKING UP, MAMIYA REPLIED, "AH-AH-AH... I HAVEN'T SOLVED THAT ONE YET."

"WHAT?" ROARED THE MASTER, "DEAD MEN DON'T SPEAK. GET OUT."

Only mind speaks. If Mamiya had remained silent... But how can he remain silent?... because he was only imitating, he was not really silent. You cannot deceive a master even if you die. Imitation cannot deceive.

The master said, "Dead men can't speak."

When the mind disappears and the master asks, "What about that sound?" no answer comes. The whole being is the answer. The disciple remains silent, he is showing himself. Now there is no need, and the master will see... no answer is required really. If you answer, all answers are wrong.

It has happened many times with the same koan - the sound of one hand clapping. It happened with Rinzai; he was given the same koan to work with. And then he worked and worked and worked harder and harder, and the master continued pushing him, ahead and ahead. And one day it happened - the mind disappeared, the sound was heard.

Rinzai came and the master asked, "What about that sound?" Rinzai hit the master. And the master said, "All right, so you have heard!" - because the question is foolish! And the master said, "I was waiting for when you will relieve me of hitting you. Now you can hit me. Now there is no trouble, now I need not hit you - finished! Now you go and teach others the sound of one hand clapping."

No answer is required; you have to show through your whole being. But this can happen only when the mind has disappeared - no water, no moon.

Enough for today.