Collecting seashells

Question 1:

LIFE is fresh but you are stale, and you become stale because you go on carrying the yesterdays.

The past functions as a barrier between you and life.

Die every moment to the past and then life can be felt and lived as fresh as it is.

Life is never old; each moment it renews itself, rejuvenates itself, reorients itself. It is eternally fresh.

But the mind cannot be fresh. The very mechanism of the mind does not allow it to be fresh. It has to bee old, it has to be dead.

The moment you know something, it is already past. Knowledge is already dead. A bird sings in the tree. The moment your mind says 'beautiful', it is already old. It is no more in the present; it has already passed. The moment you say to someone 'I love you', it is already past. The moment the mind catches anything, it immediately dies.

To be fresh means to be without mind. Listen to the birds without the mind interfering. see the trees without the mind interfering. You will have to learn how to remain without verbalization. There is the root of all disease.

You see a rose and immediately the mind starts spinning...'A beautiful rose; I have never seen such a beautiful rose before.' You are no more seeing this rose now. You have moved into the past. You are comparing with other roses. And when you are comparing with other roses, you have completely forgotten this rose.

Those other roses are just in the memory - past impressions. And the most amazing thing is that when those other roses were alive, you must have been comparing them with some other roses which were dead. Again this amazing thing will happen. Some other day, seeing another rose, you may compare with this rose which you are not seeing at all.

Look at life and don't allow words to interfere. Look without words. Look without thinking - and suddenly everything is fresh, suddenly everything is as new as it can be.

This has to be learned. Every child knows it. It is a capacity which comes with your birth; it is something inborn. But then the society takes over and starts teaching, forces the child to learn.

What the society is trying is nothing but creating a pattern of verbalization inside. And by and by, layer upon layer will gather there and the child will miss life.

Psychologists say that up to the age of four the child remains absolutely fresh and absolutely intelligent. Every child is intelligent up to the age of four. There is no stupid child; it doesn't happen.

Every healthy child is intelligent, and up to the age of four, a child learn the most. Fifty percent of his whole life's learning is finished by the age of four.

By the age of eight, the child is no more a child. He has become part of society, he has learned tricks, gimmicks. Now he is no more a person; he is a mechanism. And by the age of eight, learning stops.

Then accumulation continues - he goes on accumulating knowledge - but learn stops, freshness disappears.

Watch small children below the age of four, and you will find them bubbling with fresh energy. Just watch them, look at their response to things, and you will always find them original, open, fresh, unique. Each child is a genius, but the society cannot allow so many geniuses, and the society cannot allow so many open people. They will create chaos.

An original man is a danger. Only rarely somebody escapes from the imprisonment of the society.

A little quota of original people the society can tolerate. Somewhere here and there a buddha, an einstein, can be tolerated. But a very small quantity of genuine intelligence... and sometimes even that becomes too much. Then a jesus has to be crucified, a socrates has to be poisoned.

These people remain children. They remain fresh, they remain young. They remain original. They remain unique and open.

Look! Don't call adults people; they are not. They are machines. Only small children are people.

Adults are already dead. Adults have utility.

As I have been watching, if some adult comes to me, either he is a doctor or a professor or an engineer, but not a man or a woman. He has some utility, some function in the society. He is not a person any more.

When small children come, they are simply people. Nobody is a doctor, nobody is an engineer, nobody is a scientist - they are simply people... open-ended, fresh, with no accumulation.

Look into the eyes of children - such infinite silence, and yet not dead; vibrant with life. Look at children - so resilient, so flexible, so responsive. As they grow, they start taking a mode, a fixed mode, a fixed structure. Then they function only through that structure.

When somebody comes and says, 'I am a doctor,' I immediately understand it to mean that I cannot meet the person, I can only meet the doctor. The doctor will be in between. When somebody comes and says that he is a professor, then I know well that I can shake hands, but I will not find the hands; they are hidden under the gloves - the gloves of a professor, the gloves of a doctor. The man is not available; he is hiding behind a utility.

What does being a doctor mean? - that he is functioning in a certain way in the society. He is of certain utility to the society. To become a utility is to become a commodity. To become a utility is to become a thing.

Children cannot be used; they are purposeless - hence they are people. If you shake hands with a child, you shake hands with him. There are no gloves; they are nude and naked. But by the age of eight, almost always something closes in. The windows and doors close. And then for your whole life you will go on missing life, and whatsoever you do will be a duty, a drudgery, a drag. One has to do it somehow. It will not be a celebration.

I have heard:

"Two friends met on a street. They had not seen each other for a long time. One asked the other, Who are you working for nowadays?"

'The same company,' said the other, the wife and the six kids.""

Even for your wife, for your children, you are not functioning out of love... a duty, a responsibility, a burden. They too are a company you are working for.

You would like to escape, but sanity does not allow you. You would like to escape, but you know - where would you go? You would like to escape, but you have lost the energy to escape. You would like to escape, but now you have become too habituated to the pattern. It would be difficult for you to live without this company.

But life is slipping from your hands.

It happened once:

'Two seedy individuals stopped on the street to watch a funeral procession pass. It was done in elaborate style, from the long, gleaming hearse, through the cars packed with flowers, to the impressive line of automobiles following.

Said one of the individuals, 'It's a rich guy. I've watched funerals like that before. There's a solid mahogany casket, polished so you can see your face in it, with satin lining and gold carved handles.

They put it in a big mausoleum, with stone doors, statues, flowers, praying and singing."

'Wow,' said the other, eyes shining, 'now that's what I call living.""

By and by your life becomes so deathlike that even death locks like living - if it is luxurious, comfortable, costly. Then even death can create a jealousy in you.

Your life is almost insignificant. You have not lived at all. You have learned a few tricks and you go on doing those tricks. And you know you are missing your life, but still you go on clinging with those tricks because those tricks have become your securities; you are afraid to lose them. You are afraid to lose the comfort that comes through dead habits.

You ask me how to live life fresh. Just become a child again - unlearn whatsoever you have learned.

Drop verbalization. Listen to these birds with no word arising in you. Suddenly a wave of freshness passes through you; an energy arises in you which is not old.

This bird has never been there before and this bird is completely unaware of the past. He has never sung like that before. Today is absolutely fresh. He is absolutely and totally herenow. If you can listen without words, suddenly, as if a knife penetrates your being, the freshness of life will penetrate your accumulated dust - as if a ray of light penetrates darkness.

All around you, except for human beings, everything is fresh. Touch the tree, have a little talk with the river, look at the sky, watch the stars, lie down on the earth, relax, go to the sea, watch the waves infinitely coming and coming and coming... without any business, without any utility, for no purpose, simply a delight in energy... and by and by you will become aware that the dust is disappearing; your mind - mirror is getting cleaned.

Language and addiction with language is the root cause. Words and words and words - and your being is hiding behind. The more words gather, the farther away you are from yourself, and the more difficult it becomes to come back home - because there is a forest, a wild forest of words. It is almost like a maze, a chaos.

Life is fresh. Mind can never be fresh. If you understand this, then look at life without the mind. Put the mind aside. I am not saying throw the mind completely. It is useful. Use it. It is a biocomputer.

Use it - but don't be used by it. When it is needed, use it.

There are many, many situations where it is needed. You have to calculate; it will be needed. You have to remember the way to go to the station; you will need it. You have to remember many things and you will need it. So whenever it is needed, use it. Whenever it is not needed, put it aside, let it rest.

And if the mind is allowed to rest, two things will happen to you: life will become fresh and mind will become very very powerful. Your mind is simply tired. Twenty-four hours in use.... Even a mechanism needs to relax. Even a car needs to be put to rest. Even a machine gets tired. Ask scientists. The latest research says that even a machine gets tired, even metal gets tired. It needs rest.

And your mind goes on working and working, day and night. Awake or asleep, the mind goes on working. It gets tired, so it cannot function well. It is a constant grinding machine; it goes on grinding.

If there is nothing to grind, then too it goes on grinding. It goes on chewing old stuff again and again and again.

Learn how to give rest to the mind. You will have a more powerful mind. You will have a more powerful memory. You will have more powerful logic and reason. And if you can put it aside, you will always be available to fresh life and the fresh life will be available to you.

When you come home, put the mind away. It is needed in the office; it is not needed with your children. Play with them. No need to be an adult. Become a person. No need to be a doctor with your wife. With a patient it is perfectly okay, but she is your wife; you need not be a doctor. With a friend you need not be an engineer, you need not be a businessman. You need not be anybody.

You can simply be yourself... again a child playing on the shore, collecting seashells for no purpose at all.

These purposeless moments will allow you to be fresh.

Question 2:

For nothing. For no purpose at all.

Do you want to become a thing? Things are for something. If you ask me what this chair is for, the question is relevant and the answer is simple - to sit upon. If you ask me what this mike is for - to speak through. If there is nobody to sit upon the chair, it will be completely useless; it will have to be thrown away. If there is nobody to speak through the mike and there is no need for it, it will be simply useless; it will not have any purpose for existing.

But what are you for? For nothing. You are not a chair, you are not a mike. You are not a house to live in. You are purposeless. And that is the beauty and that is the glory of life. It is a purposeless phenomenon. It exists for nothing. Or, it exists for itself. Both are the same.

Things exist for something else; they are means. Persons exist for themselves; they are ends.

You love somebody. For what? - for love itself. If you say you love for the money the person has, you don't love. If you say you love for the prestige that comes from loving this person, then you don't love. Then you are doing something else. Some other activity is going on, but not love - business, politics, maybe something else, but not love at all.

Love is an end in itself. You simply love for love's sake.

For what are these birds singing? For what? - just the sheer delight of singing. They are not singing there to get any award. They are not singing there for any competition. They are not even singing for you to listen to them. They are simply singing. They are full of energy and the energy overflows.

The energy is too much - what to do with it? They share with existence. They are spendthrifts, not misers.

If you sing, first you look for what. Are the people going to appreciate it? Are you going to be awarded in some way, gross or subtle? Then you are not a singer... a businessman. If you dance for some audience to see and you are looking for their appreciation, their applause. then you are not a dancer.

A dancer simply dances. If people see and appreciate and enjoy, that is another thing. That is not the goal. A dancer can dance alone, with nobody there to see. A singer can sing alone. The activity in itself is paying so much that there is no need to have any other goal, any other purpose.

You exist for yourself. The very question shows that you are looking at life through the head. The head is purposive. The heart is non-purposive. The very question shows that you would like to become a thing, a commodity to be sold in the market.

A prostitute loves, but that is not love; it is a commodity in the market. You love, but then it is not a commodity; it is an overflowing energy. You share your happiness, your bliss, with someone. You feel good with someone; you feel a certain harmony. With someone you feel in accord. The very activity in itself is valuable; the value is intrinsic. There is nothing outside it as a goal. It is not leading anywhere. It is leading to itself.

This has to be understood. All that is beautiful in life is intrinsic; it has intrinsic value. And all that is ordinary is purposive.

People go on asking why god created the world. Why did he create it? They think of god as if he is a manufacturer. Why? Why did he create the world?

There is no 'why' to it, and all answers that have been given to this 'why' are patent nonsense. He created because he enjoyed. Creation in itself is enjoyment. He loved to create. He felt happy to create.

The christian story says that god created the world and then he looked at creation and said, 'Good, good.' To whom was he saying this? There was nobody. He was saying 'good' to himself. He enjoyed it; a tremendous joy came to him. He created the world and loved it.

Just like a painter paints, and then goes far away from the painting and looks at it from this angle and that, and feels happy, tremendously happy. Not that the painting is going to give him much money - it may not give any at all....

One of the greatest painters, Vincent Van Gogh, lived as a beggar, because he could not sell a single painting. Not only could he not sell; he was condemned from everywhere that he was mad.

Who would purchase those paintings? They were worthless. Now each of his paintings is worth millions of dollars, but in his own time nobody was ready to purchase them. He would go and give his paintings to his friends and even they were afraid to hang them in their drawing-rooms, because people would think them mad. Not even a single painting was sold in his whole life.

His own brother, Theo Van Gogh, was very worried. He was a businessman, and he could not think how a man could go on painting when nothing was selling. So he persuaded a friend and gave him money, and told him to go to Van Gogh and at least purchase one painting. He would feel good.

The man went. Of course, he was not interested in paintings at all; he was just obliging the brother.

The brother had given him the money and he was just to purchase any painting whatsoever. Van Gogh immediately suspected something, because the man was not looking at the paintings. He said, 'Okay, this will do. Take this money."

Van Gogh threw the money out of the house and threw the man out also, and he said, 'Never come here again! I suspect this money is not yours and you are not in any way interested in paintings. My brother must be behind the whole thing. You get away from here. I am not going to sell it."

He killed himself when he was very young - thirty-six, thirty-seven - because he felt that whatsoever he could create he had created, and now just to drag on in a miserable life, with not even enough to eat.... He was eating only three days per week, because his brother was giving him enough money to eat, but he had to purchase colours and canvas and brushes. So for four days he would save the money for colours and paintings, and for three days he would eat.

But he was a tremendously happy person. There was nobody to appreciate his work, so he would look at his own paintings. He must have said, just like god said, 'Good. Good, I have done it again."

Never ask what you are for. You are for yourself.

And unless you realize this, you will miss much. Deep down, your innermost being is always waiting for someone who will love you for yourself; for nothing else, just for yourself... somebody who will say, 'I love you for love's sake. I love you the way you are. I love you because you are. I love you, your being, and there is no end to it, no purpose behind it."

Unless somebody comes and loves you meaninglessly, you will not have the glory of life. Remember, in that meaninglessness is hidden the whole significance of life. When somebody loves you meaningfully, he has already reduced you to an object. You are a thing and he is a purchaser.

When somebody loves you just for you, for no other reason at all, then suddenly your inner flower blooms. You are accepted as you are.

Love always accepts you as you are, and through that acceptance, much transformation happens.

You can bloom. Now there is no fear. Now nothing is expected from you; you can relax. Now there is no goal beyond you; you are the goal. You can dance and celebrate.

It happened:

"In the fourth century B.C., the great athenian philosopher Plato established a school, The Academy, at which mathematics was a key portion of the curriculum."

Plato loved mathematics tremendously. He was a poet of mathematics, a lover. On his academy door it was written: If you don't know mathematics, please don't enter. One had to learn mathematics before one could enter The Academy.

"It was taught with the utmost rigour of which the times were capable, and it dealt with idealized shapes on which idealized operations were performed.

One student, who was put to stern mental exercises over the platonic conception of mathematics, kept searching in vain for some application to the various forms of artisanry for which he knew mathematical concepts were useful.

Finally he said to Plato, 'But, master, to what particular use can these theorems be put? I don't see any practical use. The theorems are beautiful, they are pure mathematics, but what is the utility? To what use can these theorems be put? What can be gained from them?"

The old philosopher glared at the inquiring student, turned to a slave and said, 'Give this young man a penny that he might feel he has gained something from my teachings and then expel him.""

It is difficult to understand, because for Plato, mathematics was his love, his beloved. Profit was not the question, achieving anything was not the question. Just to contemplate those forms, those pure forms of mathematics, was enough. That very contemplation leads one into the unknown.

It is not a question of any gain. Life itself is enough unto itself. And if you are trying to fulfill some goal, you will miss life.

That's what has been taught to you from the very beginning. Every parent is trying to force you into some utility. They are worried that you may become a vagabond, you may become a wanderer.

They are worried that you may become useless. They are worried that you may not prove yourself of any use in the world. Then who will appreciate you?

Their egos are worried because through you they are planning some fulfillment of their own unfulfilled egos. Their parents did the same with them; now they are doing the same with you. And you will go on doing the same with your children.

Dead people go on haunting you. Your father may be dead, but he will go on haunting you. Whenever you relax, you will hear the voice of your father: 'What are you doing? Getting lazy! Do something!' and you will jump out of your laziness and run around and do something because you are getting useless.

Because everybody has been conditioned to be of some utility, the question arises 'for what?' And if you cannot find the answer, you feel very puzzled and confused.

Drop all that nonsense. You are enough as you are.

I'm not saying become lazy. I'm not saying become a parasite. I am saying to live your life as an intrinsic value. Do whatsoever you want to do, but don't do it to prove that you are useful. Do it because you love it. Do it because you feel happy doing it. Do it because it is your love. And suddenly everything has a different colour and everything becomes luminous.

My own parents wanted me to become a scientist; if not a pure scientist then at least a doctor, an engineer. I betrayed them. Now they have completely forgotten and they are happy. They are very good and simple people. But at that time when I betrayed them, they felt very hurt. They were hoping much.

All parents hope, and through their hope they destroy their children.

You have to get free of your parents. Just as a child has to get out of the womb of the mother one day, otherwise the womb will become death. After nine months the child has to come out of the womb; he has to leave the mother. Howsoever painful, and howsoever the mother may feel empty, but the child has to come out.

Then another day in life, the child has to come out of the expectations of the parents. Only then, for the first time he becomes a being in his own right, on his own. Then he stands on his own feet.

Then he becomes really free.

And if parents become alert, more understanding, they will help the children to become as free as possible and as soon as possible. They will not condition the children to be of use; they will help the children to be lovers.

A totally different world is waiting to be born, where people will be working.... The carpenter will be working because he loves the wood. The teacher will be teaching in the school because he loves teaching. The shoemaker will go on making shoes because he loves making shoes.

Right now something very confusing is happening. The shoemaker has become a surgeon; the surgeon has become a shoemaker. Both are angry. The carpenter has become the politician; the politician has become the carpenter. Both are angry.

The whole life seems to be deep in anger. Look at people, and everybody seems to be angry.

Everybody seems to be somewhere where he was not meant to be. Everybody seems to be a misfit. Everybody seems to be unfulfilled because of this concept of utility; it goes on haunting.

I have heard one very beautiful story:

"Mrs. Ginsberg, having arrived in heaven, addressed the recording angel bashfully. 'Tell me;' she said, 'would it be possible to have an interview with someone who is here in heaven?"

The recording angel said, 'Certainly, assuming the person you have in mind is here in heaven."

'Oh, she is. I'm sure of that,' said Mrs. Ginsberg. 'Actually, I want to see the Virgin Mary."

The recording angel cleared his throat. 'Ah, yes. As it happens, she is in a different section, but if you insist I will forward the request. She is a gracious lady and she may wish to visit the old neighbourhood."

The request was duly forwarded, and the Virgin was gracious indeed. It was not long at all before Mrs. Ginsberg was favoured with the Virgin's presence.

Mrs. Ginsberg looked long at the radiant figure before her and finally said, 'Please forgive my curiosity, but I have always wanted to ask you. Tell me, how does it feel to have a son who is so wonderful that ever since his time hundreds of millions of people have worshipped him as a god?"

And the Virgin replied, 'Frankly, Mrs. Ginsberg, we were hoping he would be a doctor.'"

Parents are always hoping - and their hope becomes poisonous. Let me tell you: love your children, but never hope through them.

Love your children as much as you can and give them a feeling that they are loved for themselves and not for any other use that they can be of.

Love your children tremendously and give them a feeling that they are accepted as they are. They are not to fulfill any demands. Whether they do this or that, that will not make any difference to the love that has been given to them. The love is unconditional.

And then a totally new world can be created. Then people will move naturally to things that they like.

People will move naturally to directions that instinctively they feel like flowing in.

But what to say of ordinary parents? I will tell you another story:

"Rabbi Joshua, having lived an exemplary life that had been admired by all, died in the fullness of time and went to heaven. There he was greeted with hosannas of delight. Inexplicably, he shrank back, covered his face with his trembling old hands, and refused to take part in the festivities held in his honour.

All persuasion having failed, he was ushered respectfully before the high judgement seat of god himself.

The tender presence of god bathed the noble rabbi, and the divine voice filled his ears. 'My child," said god, 'it is on record that you have lived entirely in accord with my wishes, and yet you refuse the honours that have, most fittingly, been prepared for you. Why is this?"

Rabbi Joshua, head bent low and voice meek, said, 'Oh, Holy One, I am not deserving. Somehow my life must have taken a wrong turning, for my son, heedless of my example and my precepts, turned christian."

'Alas,' came the still voice, sweet with infinite sympathy, 'I understand entirely and forgive. After all, my son did the same.""

Expectations, expectations....

People go on hoping through others. People go on being ambitious through others. Drop that trip of your parents.

And remember, that is the only way you will be able to forgive them. And remember also, that is the only way that one day you will be able to respect them.

Unless you are fulfilled, unless you have found something that is not just a profession to do but something like a vocation, a calling, you will never be able to feel happy about your parents, because they are the cause of you being in this miserable world. You cannot feel grateful; there is nothing to be grateful about. Once you are fulfilled, then you will feel tremendously grateful.

And your fulfillment is possible only if you don't become a thing. Your destiny is to become a person.

Your destiny is to become an intrinsic value. Your destiny is to become an end in yourself.

Question 3:

If you understand what I have said, then there is no need to do anything. If you don't understand, then much will have to be done.

You are doing meditations because understanding is missing. If understanding comes to you, there is no need for any meditation. If you understand, then your whole life becomes a meditation. Then whatsoever you do, you do meditatively.

You eat meditatively, you sleep meditatively, you walk meditatively. Then meditation is not something set apart - it is like breathing or the beating of the heart. It becomes a quality of your being. Not that you do meditation; you become meditative. Whatsoever you do, meditation follows you like a shadow.

If you understand, then meditation is not something to be done; it is a consequence of understanding. But if you don't understand, then meditation has to be done, because only through meditation, by and by you will be cleansed and understanding will become possible.

They are interrelated. Either you understand - then meditation follows; or you don't understand - then you have to meditate and understanding follows. They are interdependent.

Don't ask which is first - the egg or the hen. Neither is first; they are interdependent. The hen cannot be there if the egg has not been before, and the egg cannot be there if the hen has not been before.

But one has to start from somewhere. Don't get confused. Go to the market - either purchase a hen or bring an egg, but do something. Just don't sit and contemplate philosophically that first you must decide which is which and which is first. Then you will never be able to decide. Nobody has ever been able to decide which comes first.

In fact, they appear as two; they are not two. The egg is nothing but unmanifested hen, and the hen is nothing but manifested egg. The hen is nothing but the egg's way of producing more eggs. They are interconnected.

So either understanding or meditation. If you understand, then there is no need.

But don't deceive yourself, because deception is very easy. You can think, 'Yes, I understand.' You can think that you understand, because it is very ego-enhancing to think that you understand - and so what need is there to meditate?

But if understanding really happens, then all problems disappear immediately. If problems still linger on, then you must have deceived. If anger continues to be there, if hatred continues to be there, if jealousy continues to be there, if fear continues to be there, then you have deceived yourself. Then please, start meditating. Then much cleansing has to be done.

Meditation is nothing but catharsis. Meditation is throwing out all junk from inside. If the mirror is clear, it reflects perfectly. That is what understanding is - a clear mirror of consciousness. But if the mirror is covered with dust, then first you have to wash the dust, clean the mirror. That is what meditation is.

Meditation is just cleaning the mirror. Understanding is the clean mirror, the cleaned mirror.

So if you feel that you are not yet able to understand what is being said to you here, then continue meditating. Someday you will be able to see it. If you have understood, then there is no point. But understanding means that now there are no problems.

Just a few days ago, a man came and he said that he has been meditating for years, and I asked him, 'How are you feeling?"

He said, 'Beautiful, perfect. Meditation has helped me tremendously. I have become completely silent and I see visions and light and things like that."

I said, 'Then it is perfectly okay. Why have you come to me?"

He said, 'But this anger and sex and greed - they continue."

Then I said, 'You must have deceived yourself. You must have seen a dream of light, of visions, of silence. You must have persuaded yourself that you have become silent, because it is impossible to become silent, to be full with light, and then continue to be angry, greedy - it is impossible. Either you have deceived yourself or you are trying to deceive me."

If you understand, then there is no need to do anything. Then simply everything disappears. You are awake. The sleep is gone and all the dreams have disappeared.

One zen master awoke one morning. He called one disciple who was passing by and said, 'Listen.

I had a dream. Would you like to interpret it?"

The disciple said, 'Wait.' And he went out and brought a bucket of water and told the old man to wash his face. The old man did so, and laughed and blessed the disciple and said, 'Right. This is the right interpretation of the dream."

Then another disciple who was passing was called and the master said, 'Look, I had a dream and I asked this disciple to interpret it and he brought a bucket of water. Now, would you like to interpret it?"

The disciple said, 'Wait.' He went out and came back with a cup of tea. He said, 'Please drink a cup of tea. Finished! The dream is finished, so why bother about it?"

When you are awake, you are awake. When you have understood that it is a dream, it needs no interpretation. Finished! A dream means it is not. What is the need to interpret something which is not?

Of course, Freud would not like the story at all. He has created a great business. He was a jew. He turned psychoanalysis into a great business. Now it is one of the greatest firms in the world; even General Electric and Ford, they are nothing. Psychoanalysis is going to remain....

The eastern attitude says that once you realize a dream is a dream - finished! A full-point has come.

If you understand what I am saying, that very understanding is enough. If you don't understand, then you have to meditate. Then don't deceive.

Intellectual understanding won't help. Of course, whatsoever I am saying you can understand intellectually. Intellectual understanding is not understanding. Whatsoever I say, you hear, you listen to it, you know the language, and everything is clear. But that is not understanding.

Understanding is a total phenomenon. Just listening, and just by listening something happens within you - a turning... what Buddha used to call a paravritti, a conversion. Buddha used to say that there is only one miracle. He called it the turning-about in the deepest seed of consciousness - paravritti.

Listening to me, something happens in your consciousness - a turn-about. You are no more the same. Not that you have accumulated some intellectual knowledge from me, and you have become more informed. No, suddenly you are no more the same. Somebody had come to listen to me; somebody else goes back. A gap, a discontinuity, a death has happened... a crucifixion and a resurrection. It rarely happens.

Understanding is very rare. It needs tremendous courage to die and be reborn in a single moment.

But it happens. If it has not happened, then go on continuing meditations. One day meditations will prepare you. The mirror will become more and more clear. One day the reflection will be perfect and understanding will come to you.

Understanding means a total transformation of your being.

Don't be too concerned with words; rather, be concerned with me. Don't be too concerned with what I say to you; rather, be concerned with what I am herenow. Then there is more possibility for transformation and understanding. If you just go on listening to me, you can find ways to avoid, escape.

Words are just words. No word is real. They are just artificial devices - useful, but very limited.

Language comes into existence by coincidences. It has no ultimacy about it. That's why there are so many languages. For the same thing, there are thousands of words in the world. There are almost thousands of languages. It is artificial.

Whether you call a rose a rose or you call it gulab makes no difference to the rose. The rose is blissfully unaware of what you call it. Otherwise the rose would get confused. There are one thousand words for the rose. It will be impossible for the rose to bloom any more if it becomes too linguistic, if it becomes too intellectual. The rose does not bother about what you call it. And whether you call it a rose or you call it gulab, what difference does it make? A rose remains a rose. Language is artificial, coincidental.

I have heard a very beautiful story, almost unbelievably true:

"Joseph and Mary were on their way to Bethlehem to be taxed. Mary, being great with child, was on the donkey, of course. Joseph walked patiently at her side.

It happened that Joseph turned his ankle on an unexpected stone in the road and nearly fell. Caught by surprise, he muttered under his breath, 'Jesus!"

Mary turned to him, eyes sparkling, and said, 'Just the name for the child.'"

That's how all language comes up - just coincidences.

Don't be very concerned with what I say; be concerned with what I am. And then a different type of understanding, not intellectual at all but total - that goes deep down in your guts, that starts circulating in your blood, that starts beating in your heart, that you start breathing in and out, that becomes a part of your very being - arises. Then there is no need of meditation.

But before that, please don't deceive yourself. Because I know - many of you will be thinking, 'Very good. So now there is no need to meditate."

No, meditation cannot be dropped unless you have come to understanding. Continue.

I know everything is right now as it should be. Everything is perfect. I can see you as perfect beings, buddhas, luminous beings full of light, but you are not aware. Just by my saying, it cannot happen to you. You will have to cleanse your eyes, your perception.

Meditation is just medicinal. It helps to clean the eyes. It helps to clean the perception. It gives you a clarity to see.

The last question. Listen to it carefully, because this is how the mind tries to be clever, tries to be cunning, and can deceive you. Of course, nobody else is deceived, but you can deceive yourself.

And when you deceive yourself, there is no possibility of getting out of it, because there is nobody else to get out of it. You are alone there. The deception can become permanent.

Listen first to the question... a beautiful question in a way.

Question 4:

Whatsoever I am saying is all contradictory. Now drop worrying about contradictions. I accept totally my contradictoriness, so you need not worry; that is finished forever. Now think about something else.

It is so easy to see a contradiction; even a child can do that. It is not of any worth. It does not show a great intelligence. To see a contradiction, intelligence is not needed in fact. Even a stupid mind can see the contradiction. But if you can see something in the contradiction which is not contradictory, you rise in intelligence, you rise higher.

It is easy to see the contradiction between life and death. They are contradictory. No need to prove it, no logic is needed. It is a simple fact... apparently so - but go a little deeper. Life and death are not contradictory; they are two poles of the same energy, of the same wheel.

Death is not against life; death is the very culmination of life, the very crescendo. Death does not end life; in fact, death allows life to be. If there is no death, there will be no life. Death creates the very possibility for life to be. How can they be contradictory? They are complementary.

If you have intelligence - not just a logical, trained mind, but intelligence which can see deep, beyond the surfaces, can move to the very center - then you will see that all great religions and all great religious teachers have always been contradictory and yet consistent.

Now let me tell you how it happens.

THE OTHER DAY YOU SAID, 'DON'T FOLLOW ME.' You have seen the contradiction. Now let me create another contradiction. THE OTHER DAY YOU SAID, 'DON'T FOLLOW ME.' Now, if you don't follow me, you will be following me. Get it? If I say don't follow me and you don't follow me, of course, you are following me. The only way not to follow me is to follow me then. Become a sannyasin.

You can see my contradiction; you cannot see your own? You say, I DON'T FOLLOW YOU. Exactly, precisely that is what all of my followers are expected to do.

Let me tell you one anecdote:

"A stranger came into a bar in which there were only the bartender, a dog and a cat.

As the stranger ordered his drink, the dog rose, yawned, and said, 'Well, so long, Joe,' then walked out.

The stranger's jaw dropped. He said to the bartender, 'Did you hear that! The dog talked."

'Don't be a jackass,' said the bartender. 'A dog can't talk."

'But I heard him."

'You just think you heard him. I tell you dogs can't talk. It's just that wise-guy cat over there. He's a ventriloquist.""

It is easy to see others' contradictions - very easy. One really relishes it. But a real intelligence tries to see the contradictions in oneself.

Yes, I say don't follow me. But for that, great preparation is needed. Because if you don't follow me, you will follow somebody else. That will not make much of a difference.

When I say don't follow me, I mean don't follow. If you don't follow me and you follow Jesus, if you don't follow me and you follow Buddha, what difference does it make? If you don't follow me and you follow Karl Marx or Mao Zedong, what difference does it make? Or - let me come to the exact point - if you don't follow me and you follow yourself, what difference does it make?

When I say don't follow me, I mean don't follow.

But a great preparation will be needed so that all the tendencies within you which help you to follow can be dropped. That is the meaning of sannyas.

Sannyas is nothing but a situation in which all the inner tendencies to follow, to imitate, to believe, by and by drop.

Sannyas is not following me. Sannyas is just being with me. Let the difference be absolutely clear to you. Sannyas is not following me. Sannyas is just being with me, in my presence. Sannyas is not imitating me. Sannyas is just to be with me to follow your own destiny. I am here to help you to be yourself.

Sannyas is just a trust; it is not a belief. I don't promise you anything. I don't give you any system of thought. Hence I am contradictory, because if I am not contradictory, you will create a system of thought around me.

I am continuously contradictory... each moment I go on contradicting. And the reason is that when you look at all of my assertions you will not be able to create any system. And if you follow me, people will laugh at you. They will say, 'You are contradictory."

Only through intense contradiction, the logic, the system-making mind can be destroyed and shattered. There is no other way.

I am contradictory so that if you really love me and if you are really close to me, by and by you will be able to drop the mind which says it is contradictory, it is illogical.

It is - because it is beyond logic.

It is - because it is higher than logic.

There is a logic in it which is higher than all logic. It is a little crazy - but the craziness is a little higher than what you call sanity.

R. D. Laing has said somewhere that each breakdown is a breakthrough also. I don't agree totally.

Each breakdown, he says, is a breakthrough also. I don't agree. I know each breakthrough is preceded by a breakdown, but each breakdown is not followed by a breakthrough. A breakdown is simply a situation in which your so-called logical mind cannot function. It comes to a barrier beyond which there is no go for it - it simply breaks down. That's when we say a man has become mad.

I also help you to become mad. Of course, my madness is with a method. First you have to break down so that a new breakthrough can be possible. First you have to be dismantled, destroyed, so that you can be recreated.

I am not in favour of renovation of old buildings, no. Laxmi is in favour of it, but I am not. She has her difficulties. I am completely in favour of dismantling and then making a new start from the very A B C.

By becoming a sannyasin, you allow me to destroy you. A great trust is needed. It is not a following; following is very cheap. It is moving in danger, it is taking a tremendous risk. And moving with such a man who is so contradictory that you are going to get crazy sooner or later.

Whatsoever I am saying today, tomorrow I will contradict. Only one thing is certain: that I will remain contradictory. Only with one thing am I consistent, and that is my inconsistency.

But if you allow me... sannyas is simply a gesture that you allow me... then I can dismantle you.

And then, out of that dismantling, a totally new being can arise; Whatsoever society has done, I can undo, that's all... I can undo, that's all.

Sannyas is not a following, it is a friendship. You are not going to become my shadows and follow me. You are going to come along with me, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder. It is a love-affair, a friendship:

But remember, if you don't follow me, you will be following me. So better take sannyas.