SOMETIMES I REALIZE HOW MUCH I AM AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN. I HAVE EXPERIENCED MOMENTS OF TOTAL TRUST AND MOMENTS OF BLISS.
WHAT ARE THE TRICKS OF THE MIND TO AVOID THESE BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCES AGAIN AND AGAIN?
The tricks of the mind are very simple. One: when the moment of trust and bliss has passed, the mind starts thinking of whether it was true or illusory. However long you may have been in a blissful state, as you come out of it the mind questions it: "It is not reality because you are not always in it.
So it was a dream, an illusion, a hallucination; it cannot be otherwise." The argument of the mind is based on doubt.
Mind is in such a low state - so miserable, so suffering, so much in anguish - that from that state, to conceive a moment of bliss is almost impossible.
We are brought up as mind - and these divine moments just happen. In fact they happen only when we are not prepared. They come just like a breeze - and they are gone. Before the breeze came there was suffering, anxiety; after it has gone there is again suffering and anxiety.
It is very natural for the mind to conclude that anguish is its nature; doubt is its quality, and these things that happen once in a while are not part of it. And they are not part of it. When they are there, they are really strong; but when they are gone, just to think that you had a moment of trust and love becomes impossible.
The mind is you, and this is your day-to-day reality; you have to face it moment to moment. And those rare moments are so rare, that compared to your mind - standing in your mind with all your conditionings - it is very natural that they will look illusory.
Almost everybody in the world gets those moments once or twice in life. But because the mind is such a long process, those moments are not only thought to be inauthentic, they are thought to be nonexistential... as if you have imagined them. They have never been there; it is just that your memory, tired of all the anguish and anxiety, has imagined them.
It is like when you are in a desert - hot, burning, thirsty - and you see an oasis far away. It looks absolutely real. You want it to be real, you cannot afford to think that it is unreal. You move towards the oasis and you find nothing there.
The same happens in such moments. Later on they go on fading; the mind takes its grip back and starts telling you that it is just a trick of your own memory: you wanted those moments - the memory created them. But they have no reality; otherwise why have they gone? - the reality is that which persists.
And mind's logic looks very valid.
Still, it is wrong. Those few moments are real - and the mind is unreal. The mind has been trained, conditioned from the very beginning. It is a miracle that in spite of this mind you can get some of those moments.
The mind is not yours, it is a social product. It is society within you.
Those moments are yours - society has not given them to you. And if you can put the mind aside, you will see: those moments are not momentary, they are your permanent reality. Mind was covering them; just in certain circumstances they make themselves felt by you. They are trying to assert themselves - but the layers of the mind are thick and will not allow them to assert themselves.
So keep this in your consciousness:
Nature is not anguish, it is blissfulness.
It is not anxiety, misery, suffering:
It is love, it is rejoicing.
It is a constant celebration.
We come out of this nature, we are part of this nature; we inherit the same qualities in our consciousness. But the society does not want you to be rejoicing. Society does not want you to be blissful, loving, silent, peaceful. That goes against the structure of the so-called society that man has made.
It wants people who are full of anxiety, anguish, tensions, miseries, sufferings - because they are the people who can be enslaved. They are the people who can be sent to war. And they are the people who can be goaded into any stupid job: Anyway they are suffering - it does not matter to them what work they are put to.
But a man of blissfulness has his tremendous freedom - it comes with it. A man of love cannot be enslaved. Freedom, love, joy create the real individual you are. They are the qualities you are made of.
And the society tries to hide that individual, repress that individual - and creates a phony individual which it can manipulate. But nothing is perfect in the world. The society does everything, but still there are loopholes. There are moments when your real nature asserts.
Soon the mind catches hold of you, convinces you that it was illusory: "You are just imagining. It never happened - I am the reality." So you have to be conscious of this strategy.
The mind is not yours, it is your enemy. Don't listen to it. Whatever it says goes against you. Listen to something that comes not from the mind - that's why it looks as if it is from the unknown. Not only listen to it, but get more and more acquainted with it, allow it more and more space in you. Give it as many chances as possible.
This is the whole work of the seeker: what the society has made of him, he has to undo, and recover his natural being. And these moments are part of his natural being. Make them come more and more. Welcome them, relish them, and they will be coming more, and they will be staying more - because after all they are the reality.
And if the mind becomes clear that it is not your friend, it stops creating a rift between you and your real nature. A day comes when the mind simply drops because now its function is no longer there.
And then your life - those twenty-four hours a day - are of love, are of peace, are of silence, are of great joy.
Mind is the worst creation that society has put in every individual.
People ask me why I am against society, why I am against religions, the status quo, the establishment. I am against them because these are the people who have been destroying millions of people for thousands of years, giving them a mask and telling them, "This is your real face."
And millions have lived on the earth and died without ever encountering their own face. They have not known what they were supposed to be; they have not known what potentiality they have to actualize. They have not known that they are part of an ecstatic existence - not part of a rotten society.
So pay more attention to those moments, and don't pay any attention to the mind. And slowly the mind will become weaker, because it is unnatural, forced; it has no roots in you. And that which is natural and has roots in you will come up automatically; just the mind has to give space.
Neglect the mind.
Ignore the mind.
And it becomes a tremendous meditation.
IS IT NEVER A VIOLATION TO GAZE INTO YOUR EYES? SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE AN INTRUSION, AND I PULL MYSELF BACK - EVEN THOUGH I WOULD LIKE TO JUMP RIGHT IN.
It is a strange phenomenon.
The psychologists who have been working on it have come to know that if you gaze into somebody's eyes for more than three seconds, he will feel offended. Just to have a look and go on your way is acceptable, but to look more than three seconds means you have taken a certain interest in the person, and it is an intrusion. It is interfering with his very private world. And the eyes are the most living part of his body, and most expressive part of his body.
A man can look with lust in his eyes, a man can look with anger in his eyes, a man can look with sadness in his eyes, a man can look with all kinds of emotions. The eyes are very sensitive. So in the society it has not been thought right.
But to be with a master is to go against the society. And looking at the eyes of the master is neither lust nor anger not sadness; it is a pure looking.
Secondly, the master is there to be available to you. There is no question of intrusion, you cannot interfere.
The master has no secrets to hide from you, no private world of his own that he would not like anybody to know. He is an open book - you can read it from the first page to the last. And his eyes are also different from other eyes.
The people who have known nothing of meditation cannot understand that eyes can be just a mirror, not projecting anything - no emotion, no sentiment. And in a mirror, what you see is your own reflection.
The master's eyes are empty. You can jump into them without any question, because the whole world of the master and his friends is a world apart. It does not belong to the ordinary world.
I myself forget to blink if I am involved deeply in talking to you. Then the very natural process slows down... long gaps. And the eyes are the most significant contact points. So there is no question of fear as far as I am concerned.
My eyes are your eyes. And finally I would like that when I am gone, your eyes become my eyes.
But this will be possible only if you have nourished a certain deep relationship with those eyes.
Somebody was asking me, "Now that you have allowed freedom to sannyasins not to compulsorily use red clothes or mala - it is up to them - how are we going to identify them?"
I said, "You don't be worried - my people will be identified not by their clothes and by their mala, but by their eyes, the way they talk, the way they walk, the way they behave. I am spreading myself into my people."
So there is no problem in it.
BEING HOMELESS, THE CARAVANSERAI IS FINALLY AT HOME. I LOVE THE MOMENT-TO- MOMENTNESS OF MY LIFE THESE DAYS. I'M SO BEAUTIFULLY SURPRISED! WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE UP YOUR SLEEVE?
Don't ask that! - because if you know beforehand you will miss the joy of being surprised. I certainly have many things up my sleeves - that's why I keep them closed; nothing comes out!
But it has been really a great experience living moment to moment, not being certain of the next moment. Life is such. Having no home brings you to a great truth: there is no home and there is no certainty about the next moment. Everything is possible.
These few months have been very beautiful. It was a practical exercise of what I have been teaching to you.
And I have many more things in my sleeves.... You will come to know at the exact time!
FROM BIRTH ONWARDS, TIME SEEMED TO ME TO GO FASTER AND FASTER. BUT SINCE WE LEFT AMERICA, JUST OVER TWO MONTHS AGO, IT FEELS TO ME LIKE WHOLE LIFETIMES HAVE PASSED. OSHO, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO TIME?
I have not done anything to time! - but you have realized a certain quality of time. When you are in a certain stable situation, you will feel the movement of time differently, on two counts. One is that when you are in that false, permanent state, time will go slower, that is your feeling. But when that state is no more, remembering it, you will be surprised that it looks as if time went fast.
And when you are in a state of moment-to-moment living, time may feel just the opposite of the first:
it will look as if it is going so fast that you cannot believe it. But looking backwards, it will look as if lives of time have passed - and perhaps only months have passed. This is part of the relativity theory of Albert Einstein, and I feel that he has come very close to the truth.
I have not done anything to time; just the situation from being in a commune which looked stable - everything unchanging, tomorrow was certain, it will be just like today - the time moved slowly. But looking backwards you will be surprised at those four and a half years, just how long they were.
And when the commune is dispersed and there is no home, each moment has got a tremendous reality, because the next moment nobody knows what is going to happen. So you start living in the moment, and when you live in the moment, it is big, it is deep. Moment to moment it will look as if you are living a long time, but looking backwards you will be surprised that you have been in this position only for two or three months.
What has happened? When you feel a kind of permanent state, you don't go deep into the moment.
You just touch the surface and move on to another.
When you are living moment to moment, you have to go deep into the moment, live it totally, squeeze the whole juice of it, because the other moment may not be there - this may be the last moment. In this way you make time a tremendously deep phenomenon, but when you look backwards, you will not think that it was a long time.
Albert Einstein was asked again and again about his theory of relativity, and he used to give this example: If you are sitting on a hot stove, time seems to be too long; and when you are sitting with your girlfriend, time seems to be too short. The whole night has passed and you wonder - how quickly! Time is the same - just our attitudes, our experiences change the perspective.
And being homeless is a great experience of freedom, of no boundaries, of no shelter, of no security.
The home is, on one hand, a cozy place, secure, safe; but on the other hand, it is a kind of imprisonment. And you have to make so many compromises to be in the home, with the wife, with the children, with the parents - everything. You are not free; you have compromised on so many things, you cannot feel that you are yourself.
Homeless, you are yourself: no compromise, no security. And in fact life is insecure - that's a reality.
It is not safe - that's a reality. Whatever you do is not going to help you.
I am reminded of a story.... A king was very worried about security and safety. He made a special palace with only one door so nobody could enter. And at the door there were guards: guards upon guards. There were seven lines of guards, so nobody from among the guards could do anything.
One of the neighboring kings heard of this; he came to see. He loved the house, and when they were departing, the visiting king said, "I would also like to make such a palace - this is really safe, secure." At that moment a beggar sitting by the side of the street started laughing.
Both kings asked, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "It is a long story, but to cut it short I will tell you the most essential part of it. I was also a king once, I was also worried about safety and security. Then I lost my kingdom and I lost my home, and since then I have been a beggar, and I am not worried about security or safety. By being a beggar I found what I was missing in being a king.
"And thirdly, I have a suggestion for you. Your palace is beautiful - I have been watching it being built; you have made every possible effort to make it absolutely safe - just one thing is wrong with it."
The owner of the palace asked, "What is that?"
The beggar said, "You do one thing: you go in and tell your people to remove the door, and make a wall. Then you will be absolutely secure, one hundred percent... because these seven lines of guards are not one hundred percent sure."
The king said, "You seem to be mad! If I enclose myself only with walls - no way to go out, no way to come in - it will become just a grave."
The beggar said, "That's what you have made it - a grave with a door, nothing much. Just look at me: there is no grave. And I am happy that I lost my kingdom and I lost everything that I had, because it was hiding my moment-to-moment reality from me."
Life is unsafe, insecure - you can die any moment - so why be worried about it? All that you need is to live as totally as possible while you are living.
There are people on the earth - gypsies. That is a strange group that never makes a home. It is always on the move, lives only in tents, and absolutely free. Whenever it wants to change the city, it starts moving its tents, bullock carts.
In my village many gypsies used to pass, and I had asked many of them.... You may be surprised that gypsies are Indians; eighty percent of their language is Hindi, so it was not difficult to talk with them. They became known as gypsies because first they went to Egypt, and from Egypt they spread into Europe. From "Egypt" they got the name "gypsies."
I used to ask them, "Why don't you stay in one place? What is the point of troubling yourself by continuously moving?"
They all laughed and they all said, "You don't know the beauty of movement. When the river is flowing, it is alive. But a tank is dead - it is stable. The river does not know where it is going - that is its surprise... moment to moment the new. Why get caught up with the old?"
All the governments have been trying to provide them with houses so they can stay in one place, so there is no need for this constant movement. But they are not willing. It seems that, in this movement, they have known a certain beauty, a certain freedom.
And I was surprised: they are the most strong people. Their women are so strong, you cannot believe it. All their business is done by their women - their women will sell things on the market.
And if you even ask the price of a knife, you get into trouble!
The gypsy will say, "Five rupees." Naturally, you have to give some offer. You say, "Two rupees." She says, "Okay, take the knife." And if you don't give her the money, she will take hold of your hand - and the gypsy woman is so strong that even a man will not be able to get rid of her.
And they are so beautiful! I have seen so many women, but no comparison with gypsy women. They are beautiful, they are strong; and the men are beautiful, they are strong. Perhaps their continuous wandering, facing new difficulties, new challenges, has created a certain stamina which people living in houses in one place - being a clerk in the office - have lost. These gypsies don't want to lose it, and they can see the difference.
Losing the home... it is a beautiful experience to be homeless, because all the animals are homeless, all that exists is homeless. Only man has created out of his cunning mind some safety measures, which don't help - they simply make him weak, they make him ugly. He is in constant paranoia; and to get rid of that paranoia brings a new upsurge of energy.
So I am in favor of going around the world, moving, so you forget the whole idea of a home. You start having the freedom of a homeless person, and you drop the idea of safety and security... because they don't exist: they are just fictions.
YOU ALWAYS SAY THE TRANSCENDENCE OF SEX FOR MEN MAY HAPPEN AT THE AGE OF FORTY-TWO. I HAVEN'T HEARD YOU GIVE AN AGE FOR WOMEN. IS THERE ONE?
It is exactly the same - forty-two. If everything goes naturally - if the girl is allowed freedom when she becomes sexually mature, and is not hindered by any law or society to change her partners, so she lives only through love - then the age will be exactly forty-two.
There is no difference in men and women. Recently they have come to discover that even men have a monthly period - although, because there is no outward sign, for centuries nobody has thought that men could be having a monthly period.
If a man keeps a diary, and notes every day what his overwhelming mood was - sad, indifferent, happy, blissful, angry.... If he just keeps the diary going for twenty-eight days, then a second month, then a third month, and then compares them - he will be puzzled: There are three, four or five days, which are similar in all the three diaries, when he is angry, miserable, sad, destructive. Those are his periods.
He does not have any physical symptoms - that's why, for centuries, nobody bothered - but he has certainly a period. The symptoms are more mental, and the reason is clear: the woman is more body, more earthbound, and the man is more mind. But the man will have the same kind of trouble as the woman has. Every month, after twenty-eight days exactly, it will be repeated.
And if you have taken note of one year you will be surprised that it was not that you were simply angry, miserable, suffering, ready to fight with anyone; it was a certain period that you were going through.
Men and women both become sexually mature nearabout the same age; that is fourteen. Then the transcendence cannot be different; it will be forty-two. But these times are dependent on the natural course. If the man has repressed his sex, then forty-two will not be the end of it, then he will continue up to his grave. If the woman has not been fully and totally in it, then forty-two will not be the time.
Otherwise, at forty-two her monthly periods will disappear and her sexual desire will disappear.
Man and woman are made of the same fabric, the same structure, the same biology. The only difference is, man is the positive pole of the energy, and woman is the negative pole. And this is one of the reasons why I am against homosexuality or lesbianism... because two homosexuals are both positive poles. Perhaps AIDS is just an outcome of these two positive poles.
You cannot create electricity with two positive poles; neither can you create electricity with two negative poles. That opposition of negative and positive is absolutely essential. It is not a contradiction, it is complementary. And when the negative and the positive meet with deep love, there is every possibility that it will become a further step in their spiritual growth.
And forty-two years is enough time to experience what the body can give, and then to go beyond it.
A natural urge will be there... if the body can give this much, there must be some way to get more.
Orgasm is the first experience of samadhi. It is far below it, but still, a first step.
And if you miss the first step, you will miss the whole ladder.