Ecstasy is Polarities Meeting
LUKE 7
WENT INTO THE PHARISEE'S HOUSE, AND SAT DOWN TO MEAT.
THAT JESUS SAT AT MEAT IN THE PHARISEE'S HOUSE, BROUGHT AN ALABASTER BOX OF OINTMENT.
TEARS, AND DID WIPE THEM WITH THE HAIRS OF HER HEAD, AND KISSED HIS FEET, AND ANOINTED THEM WITH THE OINTMENT.
HIMSELF, SAYING, THIS MAN, IF HE WERE A PROPHET, WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHO AND WHAT MANNER OF WOMAN THIS IS THAT TOUCHETH HIM: FOR SHE IS A SINNER.
THEE. AND THE SAITH, MASTER, SAY ON.
HUNDRED PENCE, AND THE OTHER FIFTY.
THEREFORE, WHICH OF THEM WILL LOVE HIM MOST?
HE SAID UNTO HIM, THOU HAST RIGHTLY JUDGED.
SHE LOVED MUCH; BUT TO WHOM LITTLE IS FORGIVEN, THE SAME LOVETH LITTLE.
THIS THAT FORGIVETH SINS ALSO?
Who is Jesus Christ? The question has been asked down the centuries again and again, and it has been answered too. t3ut the questioners were wrong, and so were those who have answered it, because the question was out of a certain prejudice, and so was the answer. They were not essentially different; their source was one and the same.
The question was asked by those who were suspicious of Jesus' Godhood. And the question was answered by those who were not ready to believe Jesus' manhood. They were only ready to believe half of him. The Jews were ready to believe that he was a man. And the Christians were ready to believe that he was God. The Jews were denying half of him - the Christ part. And the Christians were denying the other half - the Jesus part.
Who is Jesus Christ? Christians don't want to see him as Jesus, son of man - man of flesh, blood and bones, man as other men are. And the Jews did not want to believe him as God, as divine - made of pure consciousness, not of flesh, blood and bones.
Nobody has been ready to believe Jesus in his totality. And that is not only the case with Jesus, that is the case with all the Masters - Buddha, Krishna, Zarathustra. And unless you allow Jesus in his totality to penetrate you, you will not be transformed. Unless you allow him as he is, you will not be in contact with him. Jesus is both Jesus and Christ, and he is not ashamed of it.
In the Bible many times he says 'I am the Son of man', and as many times he also says 'I am the Son of God.' And he seems to have no idea that there is any contradiction between these two. There is none. The contradiction exists in our minds. It doesn't exist in Jesus' being. His being is bridged.
His being is bridged between time and eternity, body and soul, this world and that. His being is bridged between the visible and the invisible, the known and the unknown. He is utterly bridged, he is at ease with both, because he is both. Jesus and Christ are like two shores, and the river is only possible if there are two shores. Jesus is the river that flows between these two shores: both shores are his. He exists between them, he is a river.
Who is Jesus Christ - God or man? And I say all the questions that have been asked were wrong, and so were the answers. Why? - because the questions came either from Judaic knowledge or from Muslim knowledge or from Hindu knowledge. And the answers came from Christian knowledge, and knowledge cannot answer it. Knowledge cannot even ask it! Knowledge is impotent. Such questions of such importance can be asked only out of innocence, not out of knowledge. The distinction has to be understood.
When you ask a question out of knowledge, you are not really asking, because you already know.
Your question is false, inauthentic. Your heart is not there. You are asking for asking's sake - maybe for a discussion, a debate, an argument. But you know the question beforehand - the answer is there A PRIORI. SO you cannot receive the answer, you are not open for it, you are not available for it. You are not ready to move, to explore; you already have the answer. And the question is arising out of that answer.
The Jews had the answer. They KNEW that he was not the Messiah, that he was not God. Why?
- because they had the idea that when the Messiah came EVERYBODY would recognise him!
Everybody - without any exception. That was their idea of the Messiah, that everybody would recognise him.
And if Jesus was not recognised by everybody, how could he be the Messiah? They have a definition. They had also believed - that has also been their knowledge - that when Jesus, the real Jesus, the Christ, the Messiah came, everybody would be liberated immediately. All past sins, present sins would disappear in that light, and it had not happened. 'Christ is there but people are not liberated yet, they are still living in sin, they are still living in misery. So this man cannot be the Messiah, cannot be the Christ.' This was not the man they were waiting for.
These are prejudices. They had never seen any Messiah. How could they define what would happen when the Messiah came?
For example, if in the dark night of your soul you have an idea that when the morning comes, money will shower from the sky: when the sun rises, everybody will become rich. And then in the morning when the sun rises, how can you accept that this is the sun? - because the money is not falling and everybody has not become rich, people are still poor. And you go on looking at the sky and no money is coming. And because you are too concerned with the money, you don't see what is coming from the sun - the light, the life, the ecstasy. You cannot see that because your eyes are completely covered with your prejudice, with your idea. And then you ask 'Who is this Jesus Christ?'
You already know how the Messiah should be. That is hindering, that is an obstruction.
That's why the Jews missed. It was for this man that they had been waiting for centuries, and when he came and knocked on their doors, they missed. They denied him. How could they have denied?
Were they bad people? No, they were people as good as you are, they were as good as Hindus and Mohammedans and Buddhists; there was nothing wrong with them. Then what was the problem?
The problem was their knowledge. They had a prejudice. And when Christians answer that Jesus is the only begotten son of God, again it is knowledge.
What I want to say to you is: that the questions and the answers are coming from the same source; they are not different, they are not a little bit different. Christians say he is the only begotten son of God. Now this is stupid, because all comes from God, so how can Jesus be the son of God EXCLUSIVELY? Everybody is the son of God, we all partake of sonhood. God is our father, and that's what Jesus goes on saying again and again. But Christians won't listen. They have an idea that God has sent his only son. Why 'only'? - too afraid that he may have another son to send, and the other son may come and then there will be conflict. Then who is right? 'So make it sure, certain, that he has only one son so that you are finished. Once more the Bible has come, now there will be no more Bibles coming again.' Mohammedans say 'Mohammed is the only prophet - the last prophet. Now there will be no more coming. He has brought the ultimate.' So nobody can improve upon the Koran, nobody can improve upon the Bible, because nobody has the right to improve.
Why 'the only begotten son'? Are not trees, and the rivers, and the mountains, and the stars, and man, and animals, and birds created by God? Doesn't this whole existence come from God? Is it not flowing from his being? God is the totality of all. Rocks and rivers and mountains are as much his creations as you are, as Jesus is. There is no distinction. All beings participate in God. In fact, to BE IS to participate in God. Otherwise you cannot be - there is no other way to be!
TO BE IS to be God!
Then what is the difference between you and Jesus? The difference is not of your being, the difference is only of your knowing, recognition, awareness. Jesus knows that he is the son of God, and you have not yet recognised it. That's the difference. You can recognise it any moment.
In that very recognition... the transformation, what Jesus calls METANOIA. It is only a question of recognition.
You have become oblivious of your reality, he is aware - but there is no difference between the beings. You are as rich as he is; he knows it, you don't know. Because you don't know you remain poor, not because you are poor. You are not poor! How can you be poor when God is showering every moment on you? When he is beating in your heart, and circulating in your blood, and flowing into your consciousness, how can you be poor? You are not beggars. Everybody is an emperor, but you are not aware of the fact. You don't look inside yourself where God goes on making contact with you. You don't look into your source.
The word that Jesus uses for looking into your source is 'return'. That word 'return' has been translated as 'repent'. 'Repent' also means return, but it has fallen into wrong associations. It has become repentance. It has nothing to do with repentance. Return - turn into your own being, a hundred-and-eighty-degree turn, and suddenly you see the light that you have always been. You see the light that you are. You see God. And for the first time you recognise that you have never lost track of him; he was just behind your back. You were not looking at him.
It is as if the sun has risen and you are standing in the full morning with closed eyes. Just open your eyes. Jesus is standing just by your side with open eyes, and you are standing with closed eyes.
That's the only difference, there is no other difference.
Jesus is man because you are God.
Let me tell you what I mean. Jesus is as much man as you are man, and you are as much God as Jesus is God. God and man are not two separate entities. Man is one of the forms of God's expression in the world. Jesus is man and God, so are you. And to understand Jesus is to understand your own situation. And to love Jesus is to love your own being. To meditate on Jesus to meditate upon your own division, the gap that has come in your being between you and your own real self. To understand Jesus is to bridge that gap.
Jesus has no privilege over you, neither has Buddha. Nobody is privileged, otherwise God would be unjust. Everybody has the same powers. In the eyes of God we are all equal. Inequality is our creation. In God's eyes everyone is equal to everything else.
The Jews were very disturbed because Jesus was claiming that he was God, or God's son. For two thousand years Christians have been defending Jesus - that he was God, that he is God.
And they have been trying to efface ALL the possibilities with which it can be proved that he is man.
That's why they say he was born out of a virgin mother - that is the beginning. So they deny his manhood, so he is not just like you; he is special. Even in his birth he is special. Then they try to make his life in such a way that no indications are left that he was human. He was very human, utterly human. He was a total man. He was not a perfectionist. When it was needed to be angry he became really angry. He threw the money-changers out of the temple and he said to them 'What are you doing here in my Father's home, in my Father's temple? Get out from here!' And he was in such a rage, that alone, single-handed, he threw many people outside.
He loved people. He had friends, he mixed with people. He ate with people, drank with people, he moved with people. He lived like an ordinary man. He had no pretensions of being anything extraordinary. And even if something extraordinary happens, he always says 'It is your faith that has performed the miracle. It is God's mercy on you. It is something between you and your God.' He does not even expect gratitude. Somebody is very grateful because a miracle has happened and he has been cured, and he wants to touch his feet and thank him, and he says 'No.' And the man says 'You are a great man, you are so good!' and Jesus says 'Nobody is good except God. You thank him. Forget about me. It is your faith that has cured you, not I. And if you have to be thankful, you have to be thankful to God. Forget about me. Don't allow me to be between you and your God.'
That's exactly what Buddha is reported to have said to his disciples 'If you meet me on the way, kill me immediately. Never allow me to stand between you and the reality. Hold my hand as far as you are not capable of walking alone and on your own. The moment you are capable of walking alone and on your own, just forget about me. Go ahead. Then don't cling to me. Then don't try to remain a shadow of me. If you meet me on the way, kill me immediately!' he says. That's what Jesus goes on saying again and again 'Forget about me. Let your thanks go directly to God. Who am I?'
Christians have been trying to efface all traces of his humanity; so he is born out of the virgin Mary, a virgin mother, which is absolutely absurd. Then he lives a life in which all human traits are removed.
Christians only talk about his miracles, not about his ordinary life. They are afraid. Christians say that Jesus never laughed! Now this seems to be the ultimate in stupidity. Jesus... and never laughed?
Then who else can laugh? But laughter seems too human, too mundane: they cannot allow Jesus to laugh.
But Jesus' life is such that he must have been laughing. He must have been really laughing. He must have been a man of laughter, because he says again and again 'Rejoice! Be merry! Celebrate!'
These words cannot come from d man who has never laughed. And a man who has never laughed, why should he go to parties? Why should he drink with people? Why should he be mixing with people? And he was a mixer. Every day, every night, he was moving with people. He was not secluded. He must have been really laughing, enjoying. But Christians say he never laughed.
They have made his picture very sad-looking, long-faced, burdened. This is not possible! This is utterly wrong, because it goes against the basic realisation of a Christ, of a Buddha. Because a man who has attained to ultimate consciousness will be completely blissful, cheerful. His life will be a song and a dance. It will have the quality of flowers and stars. It can't be sad. Why should he be sad? It is his Father's world, it is his God's world. Why should he be sad? He has come home.
When is he going to be happy? If you are not happy by knowing God, then there is no possibility.
Jesus looks so sad. He has been painted sad. He has been painted as 'the Saviour'. He has been painted as if he is carrying the burdens of everybody and sins of everybody. He forgives you! He does not carry your burden, he simply forgives you.
This is a wrong standpoint, that he takes your burden upon himself. If it is not of worth, why should he take it upon himself? And if it is so valuable, why should he take it from you? He will put some more on you. No, he is not taking anybody's burden, he is simply helping everybody to drop it.
Because it is you who are holding and clinging to it, it is valueless. When he says you are forgiven, he says 'Forget all about your sadnesses and forget all about hell. It is your Father's world, and he is compassion and he is love. How can love punish you? How can love throw you in hell? How can love torture you? God is not a sadist!'
And then Christians say: resurrection. Their whole Jesus depends on three things. First: a virgin birth; second: a non-laughing, non-enjoying monotonous, sad life of miracles; and third:
resurrection. These are the three things that seem to be important to them, and these are all useless because they miss the whole point. The real Jesus is missed. This is a myth that Christians have created around him, and because of this myth the real Jesus is lost.
I would like to tell you, he is a real man, an authentic man. He lived like a man, and he Loved living like a man. He lived in all the dimensions of manhood, and yet he is God.
Now there are people, strange people... Just the other night I was reading a Christian theologian, T.L.J. Altizer. He holds that 'God has ceased to be God in becoming a man, Jesus. The incarnation is the death of God in his divine being. In short, God is dead, and Jesus is his son.' Altizer says that God died because he became Jesus.
There are people who are against Jesus being the incarnation of God. They look like enemies, because they say how can God incarnate himself in such a small body? How can the infinite come into the finite? And how can the eternal enter time? They have their logic. How can the infinite be contained in a small body? It is not possible, because God is so great and Jesus is so small; they say it is not possible.
Now look at the other side. Now this is a Christian theologian. He says: Forget about God, God DIED the day Jesus was born. He became Jesus. God exists no more, now Jesus is God.
This is another extreme. First, the enemy does not allow God to incarnate because how can he incarnate? His logic is also the same; he denies Jesus' Godhood. To oppose this man, people like Altizer are there. They are ready to kill God to make Jesus a perfect God. Now God has disappeared into Jesus, he lives no more.
These are not the right ways to bridge: either 'God has to die' or 'Jesus has not to be a God'.
My understanding, my vision is totally different. God descends, not only in Jesus but in everybody.
This incarnation is not only for once, it is an everyday incarnation. When a child is born to you, God is incarnated. When a seed sprouts, God is incarnated. When a sun is born, God is incarnated. When a flower blooms, God blooms. It is only God, there is nothing else. Existence is synonymous with God. And God can go on incarnating in millions and millions of forms. He remains inexhaustible, that's what the Upanishads say. They say: You can take out of the perfect as much as you want, but the perfect remains the perfect. You can take it COMPLETELY out of itself, and yet the whole remains behind intact. That is the meaning of the infinite.
If you take something from the infinite and the infinite becomes a little less, then it was not infinite in the first place. The definition of the infinite is that you can take as much as you want, but you cannot exhaust it. God goes on being born, and remains unexhausted. And there are poor thinkers like Altizer, who think God was exhausted with Jesus. That too is a very very cunning device, so nobody can be born any more as Christ. So no more Buddha, no more Mahavir - with Jesus God is finished, the doors are closed. God is dead because Jesus is there. God has become Jesus, so God cannot remain as God. To put the whole philosophy of Altizer in short, I would like to say, he is saying: God is dead, and Jesus is his son.
The father need not die in the son, the father can give birth to many sons.
You will be surprised, an ordinary father, a human father... How many sons can a human father give birth to, do you know? Millions. One single couple, if allowed time, can populate the whole world.
That's how it has happened... Adam and Eve, one single couple, and they have populated the whole world. One single seed, and the whole earth will become green, just time is needed. An ordinary man will have intercourse at least four thousand times in his life - ordinary, very ordinary. Those who go more into lave, they can make more - eight thousand, ten thousand or even more. But the normal average is intercourse four thousand times. In each single intercourse, do you know how many cells are released? Millions. And each single cell can become a human being. Multiply four thousand by millions... A single human father can give birth to the whole earth. What to say about the ultimate Father?
Altizer's God seems to be very poor. A single incarnation and he dies, and he disappears. But there is a cunning trick in it so that Jesus becomes God and nobody else can become god again: so that Jesus remains the ONLY begotten son. I would like to say to you that Jesus is beautiful, he is divine, because everybody else is ALSO beautiful and everybody else is ALSO divine. The difference is of recognition not of existence. The difference is only of knowledge not of ontology.
Jesus Christ is both Jesus and Christ. He is Christ in Jesus, and he is Jesus in Christ. He is the meeting point where two worlds meet, where two utterly polar worlds meet. And hence the beauty, and hence the ecstasy of Jesus.
Ecstasy always arises when two polarities meet. The bigger the polarities, the bigger the distance between the polarities, the bigger the ecstasy. That's why while you are making love to a woman there is great joy, because two polarities meet. Not very big polarities, because a man and woman are not very far away - not very distant, but still distant. When a man and woman meet and are lost in love there is great ecstasy, there is great joy because they are dissolved, the egos are lost.
Boundaries are no more valid - they are overlapping, overflowing into each other. Their ordinary mundane worries don't make any sense in this moment of joy. This orgasmic moment, how does it arise? It is the meeting of the polarities. What to say about Jesus meeting Christ, Gautama meeting Buddhahood, man meeting God - those are the ultimate polarities as far away as possible - finite meeting infinite. The very meeting is the ultimate in celebration.
Jesus must have been ecstatic. Because of the Christian painting, Christian ideology, he looks very sad. He must have been a man of great joy, overflowing with delight. What else is possible when the light has happened inside? - delight has to happen outside. They go together. When the house is lit - even with closed windows, travellers can see the light falling outside, from the curtains, from the doors. That is delight! When light has happened inside, from the outside people can see something immensely valuable flowing.
That is the definition of ecstasy: polarities meeting.
Ordinary man is like a person living in sleep. not aware of who he is. When God's energy touches him, when he is available to God's energy, when he is receptive to God's energy, when that stirring energy comes dancing into him, there is ecstasy. There is no ecstasy unless we join the mundane with the supramundane, the mud with the sun, the earth with sky, the body with the soul, matter with mind - only then, when sun and the mud meet, is the lotus born, the lotus of ecstasy. Unless reality is as miraculous as the supposedly miraculous, we are frozen in ice.
Man as man is a frozen thing. And let me say to you: God as God is also a frozen thing. So it is not only that you are seeking God, God is also seeking you. It is not that without God you are sad, God is ALSO sad without you. And when you meet with God, and God meets with you, it will not be only YOUR ecstasy, it will be his ecstasy too. The whole existence will feel ecstatic. Whenever a single human being becomes a Christ or a Buddha, the whole existence dances, the whole existence is overjoyed - goes mad with ecstasy!
Meeting is the melting of the divisions. Thinking of yourself as man is creating a division. And if you don't drop this division, this category that you have created around you, that 'I am a man', you will not allow God to enter in you. You have to be completely free from boundaries, from all boundaries - the boundary of the Hindu, the boundary of the Christian, the boundary of man, the boundary of richness, poorness, education, uneducation, the boundary of white and black, the boundary of the brahmin and the SUDRA - all the boundaries have to be dropped. In that very dropping the eternal enters into your time world. Into your dark night of the soul comes that light, floods that light. And suddenly, you are no more the same. And let me repeat: God is also no more the same!
God was never so rich as he became after Christ. He was never so rich as he became after Buddha.
He is not so rich as he will become when you meet him, because you will pour into him. I know you only have a small energy, but an ocean is created by small drops falling, falling, falling... Small rivers flow into the ocean and create the ocean. No single river can create the ocean, but each single river goes on creating it, goes on helping it. God is bigger than ever every day, because some water, some river again flows into him, again brings a new life, a new thrill.
God is evolving, God is hot a static thing. God is evolving every moment.
Meeting is the melting of the boundaries, blurring of the divisions, overlapping, overflowing. This is what is called trust or faith or surrender. At absolute zero, absolute surrender, life takes over once more and we are returned to God or to Tao or to DHAMMA, to free-flowing totality. God is the free-flowing totality, God is not a person.We return to our pure being only when we become a free-floating totality. In this state everything: is okay, right.
A rusting tin can fill us with radical awe as the sunlight catches it...
In Yoga they call it a certain state of NADAM, a certain state of harmony, accord. When man disappears into God and man's conflict with God disappears, there IS NADAM, there is harmony - what Heraclitus calls 'the hidden harmony'. NADAM IS homeostatis - harmony, rhythm. You are out of rhythm, out of tune with God, that is your misery. Jesus is in tune with God, that is his joy. If he is also miserable, if he is also sad, then what is the difference between you and him? The difference is that he feels for you, that he feels all compassion for you, but he himself is in utter joy. In &ct, because he is in utter joy, he feels sorry for.you, he feels compassion for you. He wants to bring you also to this utter J oy, and he knows it is yours just for the asking. Hence he says ASK, AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN YOU; SEEK, AND YE SHALL FIND; KNOCK, AND IT SHALL BE OPENED UNTO YOU.
The sutras:
AND ONE OF THE PHARISEES DESIRED HIM THAT HE WOULD EAT WITH HIM. AND HE WENT INTO THE PHARISEE'S HOUSE, AND SAT DOWN TO MEAT.
Jesus was always ready to go anywhere to anybody. He wanted as many people to come in contact with him as possible. He never missed a single opportunity of Contacting people.
Before we go further into the sutras, a few things about Jesus' way, his work, have to be understood.
How did he transform so many people? what was his secret? what was his alchemy?
Remember these seven words. Christ means to me these seven words, and this is his whole alchemy. First: catalytic; second: catalepsy; third: catharsis; fourth: catastrophe; fifth: cross; sixth: conversion; and seventh: Christ-consciousness. This is his whole alchemy, how he used to transform people. His work is different from Buddha's, his methodology is different; different from Krishna's, different from Mohammed's. He is a unique Master.
First: catalytic. Jesus' work is that of a catalytic agent. He wants people to be in contact with him, what Hindus call SATSANG. To be in contact with the Master, to be in the presence of the Master - the very presence functions. Jesus does not give methods to people, that is not his way. Patanjali's way is to create devices, methods; that is the way of Gurdjieff too - to create methods and devices so people can start growing. Jesus' way is that of SATSANG. He transforms people just by his touch. He overpowers people, he surrounds them. His energy starts dancing around them. He starts pulsating his being, and in his pulse - that powerful pulse of Jesus - the other person also starts pulsating. In the beginning, hesitant, afraid, not knowing where he is going, but slowly slowly he gains momentum. It is like a dancer. Have you not watched when a dancer is dancing and the music is on, something of the dancer starts happening in you? Your feet start moving, you start tapping the chair with your hand, your head starts nodding. You are filled with it. Some pulsation has reached you.
Jesus' methodology is to pulsate people through his pulse, to magnetise people through his magnetism; to be with them. And the best way to be with them is when they are very very relaxed.
Hence Jesus was always ready to go to people, to drink with them, to eat with them, because that is the most relaxing moment in people's lives. Buddha has never done that - that was not his way.
When people are eating, they are relaxed.
Have you not watched it? Even businessmen like to take you for lunch, because then things are easier. You are more positive, you are more relaxed, you say yes more easily. So if the salesman wants to sell the car to you, he takes you for lunch. When your belly is feeling good and you are feeling very contented, and the aroma of the food and the joy of the food, and you are feeling really satisfied... it is very difficult to say no. It is easier for the salesman to sell something to you. And Jesus is the greatest salesman. It is not just accidental that his religion has become the greatest religion as far as numbers are concerned. The greatest salesman ever.
He would go to people to take food with them or to drink with them, and that was the moment when he would try to infiltrate their being with his presence. That was his catalytic, magnetic power. When people are drinking... You have drunk a little bit - you become more relaxed. Then things are more easy, you are less defensive.
Gurdjieff used to do that - that was his everyday work. Just as every day I go on talking to you, every day he used to invite his disciples for food. That was the greatest thing. Every day, every night. And it was not an ordinary dinner. It used to continue for five hours, six hours, seven hours, almost half the night. And then drinking... and he would force you to eat and drink, and he himself would be serving and it would be difficult to say no; eating, drinking, laughing, you would be less defensive.
And he would be telling jokes, and people would become very very relaxed. The atmosphere would become very homely - utterly homely. They would forget who Gurdjieff was and who they were.
They would relax into his being, and his work would start.
That's exactly what I am doing I go on talking to you. That is a kind of feast, a feast of words. You become involved in the words, you become utterly involved with the.words, and my work, the REAL work starts. That is indirect.
So the first thing, the first word to be understood about Christ is 'catalytic'. He is not a great philosopher like Buddha. He is not a great scientist like Patanjali. He is not a singer like Krishna is.
But he has his own method and that method is of the catalytic agent.
In the East there have been many Masters like that, but Jesus is the ultimate in SATSANGA: just being with people.
The catalytic agent means that nothing is done to you, but something happens to you. The catalytic agent does not go into you, and does not do anything in you. But just the presence, just the very presence provokes you, inspires you, and something starts growing in you. Just as scientists say, if you want to make water, hydrogen and oxygen are needed; but they cannot meet unless electricity is present as a catalytic agent. It does not enter into them, it remains aloof, but its very presence helps them to meet. That is very miraculous. Science has not yet been able to know how the catalytic agent works, because nothing goes out of it, it is simply there. But you can understand it.
Sometimes I am simply here, and something becomes silent in you. And this can happen even when you are far away if you remember me. If you remember totally, immediately you will find something has changed. The vibe around you is no more the same, something has fallen quiet, silent. The turmoil of the mind is a little far away, not so close by. You are settled and centered.
Just the other day somebody asked the question 'While I am here listening to you and to your words, much is happening to me. But when I go back, will it continue to happen when I will be listening to your tapes or reading your books?'
It depends on you. It can't depend on books, on tapes, but it depends on you. If in those moments of listening to the tapes or reading the books you can feel my presence, you can visualise my presence, you can think of me and remember me, it will go on happening. There will be no problem. Distance does not make much difference.
For the first time it is needed to be close. Once the contact has happened, then you can call me anywhere. And when I say you can call me anywhere, I mean you can simply fall into my presence anywhere, you can just remember me. Calm and quiet, remember me, be full of my presence, and suddenly it will be there, and it will function as a catalytic agent.
A catalytic agent is a miraculous thing. This is Jesus' real miracle. Tao has a word for it, they call it WEI-WU-WEI, action without action. The Master does not DO anything to you, he does not interfere in your being, he simply is there. But he is pulsating and his pulsation is strong; his pulsation is vital.
He is like a great wind which goes on blowing, surrounding you. You are like a fragile tree; you start swaying in the wind and something starts happening to you - the dance. The wind is invisible, and in fact the wind is not doing anything to you, it is simply blowing on its own way. But it can give you the thrill, it can wake you up! This is what acid people call a 'contact high'.
It happens sometimes when somebody has taken LSD and is really deep into it, gone, and you are just taking care of the person. You have not taken LSD, you are just taking care of the person because it is dangerous to leave him, and suddenly you start feeling that something is turning on in you. This is now a universal experience, because so many people in this generation have taken LSD, marijuana, psilocybin and things like that. This is a universal experience now, that sometimes just by being in the presence of somebody who has gone deep in his LSD trip, you start feeling high.
Something starts moving in you. Wings grow, and you start flying. And you have not taken anything!
Then what is happening? Because that man's pulsation is so powerful in this moment, that man is blowing like a great wind, he takes you with him unawares. You are pulled by him, you are taken by his stream of consciousness.
This is a new experience in the West, but in the East it is very ancient. And this is nothing, because LSD is LSD - such a small quantity you take. But a Jesus is pure LSD - just LSD and nothing else! He is made of the stuff LSD. A Buddha is absolute marijuana. Each single cell of his body is marijuana. It is not chemical, it is spiritual. It is such a vital force that there is no other force which is more vital. The only question is if you become available to it - then it turns you on.
The second word is 'catalepsy' - the suspension of your old being. When you are in contact with a Christ or a Buddha, your old being is immediately suspended out of the very shock; you cannot function as you used to function before. The very presence of the Christ is such a shock that everything is suspended. For a moment all thoughts stop, all feelings disappear. For a moment you may miss a heartbeat. That's why it happens that around great Masters you will see many people who look like zombies. They are in a kind of suspension.
Just the other day Divyananda came to me. He works in my garden. And he said 'What is happening to me? I have become almost like a zombie, and I am afraid. Should I go and do something else?' And I told him 'You be a zombie. Be a perfect zombie, that's all. You continue your work.'
Now something immensely valuable is happening, but he cannot understand it yet. This is what is happening: catalepsy. He is open to me, and working in my garden he has become even more open to me. He is in shock, he is forgetting who he is. He is losing his old identity, he is paralysed!
Why paralysed? - because the old cannot function and the new has yet to be born. So he is in the interval.
This is going to happen to many. Don't be afraid when it happens! It will go, it is not going to remain, but it is on the way. It happens. This is a state of not knowing: you don't know what is what, all your knowledge is lost, all your cleverness is gone. You become idiotic. You look like an idiot. People will say that you have become hypnotised or something, that you are no more your old self. That is true.
But it is a kind of shock, and good, because it will destroy the past, it will make you discontinuous with the past, and it will bring the fresh, the new. It will allow something original to happen. But before the original happens, the past has to go.
You are like a pot in which there has been poison for a long time, for many years, for many lives.
Now before something can be poured into it, the poison has to be thrown out and the pot has to be cleaned, utterly cleaned. Even if a little bit of poison remains hanging around, it will destroy the new that is coming, it will kill it.
That is the whole meaning of sannyas and disciplehood: that your past has to be completely washed away; your memory, your ego, your identity - all have to go. When you are just an empty pot, then something more is possible. That is the third state: catharsis. When your head is in shock, your heart becomes free, because the head is not allowing the heart to be free. It is keeping the heart as a prisoner. When the head has stopped in shock... And each Master beheads you, cuts your head mercilessly; destroys your reason, destroys your logic; brings you down from the head. And the only way is to cut the head completely.
This is the third state: catharsis. When the head is no more functioning, its control is lost and the prisoner is free, then the heart starts throbbing again - maybe after many, many lives.
And for many lives you have been repressing your emotions, feelings, tears, love - they all flood you.
That's what catharsis is - the appearance of the heart. The repressed explodes and the emotional bursts out - a kind of earthquake or a heartquake, a volcanic situation. You are flooded by the unconscious and the irrational. That's why a real disciple always passes through a kind of insanity around a Master.
The fourth state is catastrophe. When reason is gone and the heart goes mad it is catastrophe.
And then the ego starts falling into pieces, because the ego is nothing but control. The control of the head over the heart is creating the ego. When the head is no more functioning, it is in shock, catalepsy, and the heart is in catharsis. The ego disappears because the ego is no more there. It cannot be there, the control is gone. And when the ego falls it looks like catastrophe. All is lost, chaos arises and now one feels that one has really gone mad. It is not just a temporary madness. It looks now as if it is going to remain there forever. One cannot look beyond it.
This is what Christian mystics call 'the dark night of the soul': a kind of hopelessness arises. One is utterly lost and there seems to be no possibility of getting out- of it. One is drowned and drowning.
And the powers that are drowning you are so vast that there seems to be no hope that you can get over them. The shores are no more visible; you are in the middle of the ocean.
And then comes the fifth: the cross. The ego dies on the cross.
In the fourth state it simply disintegrates, but goes on lingering in fragments, clinging here and there.
In the fifth it dies, the ego completely dies - no more identity with body or mind, a state of negation, death, emptiness. Great trembling, fear... one is on the verge of the abyss called God. That's where Jesus found him - on the cross. That cross has to come to everybody. Jesus says everybody has to carry his cross on his shoulders.
Then comes the sixth: conversion. Only when you are dead does God become alive in you. Only when the seed dies does it become a tree, only when the river disappears into the ocean does it become one with the ocean: conversion.
'Conversion' is a beautiful word very badly used by Christians. They think that if somebody is a Hindu and becomes a Christian, this is conversion. This is not conversion. A Hindu becoming a Christian, this is nothing. He has simply changed one prison for another, one priest for another, one book for another. But there has been no real change, no transformation. A Christian can become a Hindu; Hindus think this is conversion. This is not conversion. Conversion happens only when the ego dies and God is born in you. Conversion is when the human becomes divine, not when a Hindu becomes Christian or a Christian becomes Hindu. But when the human becomes divine, when Jesus becomes Christ, then there is conversion; when Gautama becomes Buddha, then there is conversion.
In the fifth, the cross, the ego dies. In the sixth, the self is born - the supreme self, the ATMAN, your real self. For the first time you know who you are. Mountains are again mountains, rivers are again rivers. All confusion gone... clarity arises. Your eyes become transparent, you can see things. Now there are no more any prejudices, no more any ideologies. One is neither Hindu, nor Mohammedan, nor communist, nor fascist. One simply is... a purity of isness. This is where what Hindus call SATYAM, SHIVAM, SUNDERAM IS felt. SATYAM means truth, SHIVAM means good, and SUNDERAM means beauty. Not before that.
Before that, what you call beauty is nothing but lust. What you call good is nothing but conditioned morality. What you call truth is nothing but correspondence between you, your statement and things.
It is like you say 'In the room there are three chairs.' And somebody goes and finds three chairs, so it corresponds, it is 'true'. This has nothing to do with truth, it is just correspondence, a true statement.
But what about truth? What is truth? - three chairs? If there are two chairs, it is untrue. This is only linguistic and logical truth.
Truth means that which is hidden behind the trees and the mountains, hidden behind people, hidden behind everything. That 'hidden' becomes unhidden, then you come to truth.
Truth... and then you come to SHIVAM; your life becomes good. Not in the sense of being a moral person, a Pharisee, a puritan, no; your life becomes spontaneously good. Not that you try to do good. but whatsoever you do is good. You cannot do bad! The bad is impossible, because you cannot think of yourself as separate from others. How can you do bad? You cannot hurt anybody because now hurting anybody is hurting yourself. Your ego is gone. You hurt somebody and you are hurt. You kill somebody and you are killing yourself. You steal from somebody and you are stealing from your own pocket. Now goodness is just natural - not imposed - spontaneous.
And SUNDERAM. And only then, when you have known what is and you have become spontaneous, can you know what beauty is. Beauty is not only poetry, it is the vision of truth, it is the vision of God.
But one step more. It is like you are one thousand miles away from the Himalayas in the early morning and you see in the clear sky no clouds, and the Himalayan peaks are standing there.
Those virgin snows shining like gold in the morning sun... but you are a thousand miles away. It is beautiful, it fills you with awe, but you are still distant.
So in conversion: SATYAM, SHIVAM, SUNDERAM.
And then the seventh state is Christ-consciousness. You are no more away from the peaks, you have become the peaks! You are no more away from those virgin snows, you are those snows. You are not seeing sunrays reflected on the snow, you are those sunrays. Christ-consciousness is born:
one becomes one with the whole. One becomes that which one really is. One becomes one with God. Buddha calls it NIRVANA, Christ calls it 'kingdom of God', Hindus call it SATCHITANANDA.
Now again another trinity arises.
First in the sixth: SATYAM, SHIVAM, SUNDERAM - truth, good, beauty. In the seventh: SAT - being, CHIT - consciousness, ANANDA - bliss.
Remember these seven words and meditate on them. Then you will be able to easily understand these immensely significant sayings of Jesus.
AND ONE OF THE PHARISEES DESIRED HIM THAT HE WOULD EAT WITH HIM. AND HE WENT INTO THE PHARISEE'S HOUSE, AND SAT DOWN TO MEAT.
AND, BEHOLD, A WOMAN IN THE CITY, WHICH WAS A SINNER, WHEN SHE KNEW THAT JESUS SAT AT MEAT IN THE PHARISEE'S HOUSE BROUGHT AN ALABASTER BOX OF OINTMENT.
This woman is Mary Magdalene.
AND STOOD AT HIS FEET BEHIND HIM WEEPING, AND BEGAN TO WASH HIS FEET WITH TEARS, AND DID WIPE THEM WITH THE HAIRS OF HER HEAD, AND KISSED HIS FEET, AND ANNOINTED THEM WITH THE OINTMENT.
Just the presence of Jesus... He waLked on that street, he went into this Pharisee's house, and this woman Mary Magdalene heard. This was his first meeting with Magdalene. She was a prostitute.
And something welled up in her heart.
Sometimes it happens that saints miss and sinners achieve, because saints are very proud of their sainthood. The ego is strong.
Now a saint has not come to see Jesus but a prostitute. Hearing that Jesus is so close by, knowing that he has come... Maybe she had always dreamt and always wanted to see him but was afraid whether she would be allowed or not. She may have felt embarrassed, may have felt shy. What would he say? How would she stand before him? But she must have dreamt, she must have desired. Now the opportunity has come.
AND STOOD AT HIS FEET BEHIND HIM WEEPING...
Now she is standing behind, weeping. This is the way to meet Christ. How can you encounter him from the front? It will be difficult to encounter him from the front - you will be dazzled. And encountering him from the front will be a kind of ego. No, one can only meet Jesus weeping, because the meeting with Jesus is not of the head, but of the heart. And one can come only from behind - hesitant, knowing perfectly well 'I am not worthy.' The more you feel that you are not worthy, the more worthy you become. The more you feel you are worthy, the less worthy you are, because it is basically pride that hinders, nothing else. Rabbis won't go to Jesus, saints won't go to Jesus.
I have never heard... not a single story that any saint went to see Jesus. How can they go? It is impossible. They would like Jesus to come to them. They cannot go, their pride will not allow them.
If sometimes some respected people have come to Jesus, they came hiding. One professor came one night in the dark when everybody had left, because he was very respected. His name was Nicodemus. He was also a rabbi and a professor, and a member of the board of the great temple.
He was afraid to come in the daylight - people would come to know. And when people would see that he had come to see Jesus, then they would suspect his knowledge. 'So he is also following this madman? So he has also fallen into his trap?' He comes in the dark night when nobody is there.
But this woman, this woman of the street, comes to see Jesus. She stands behind, is weeping.
... AND BEGAN TO WASH HIS FEET WITH TEARS...
And when she comes in front of him, what does she do? She washes his &et with tears. How else can the feet of a Christ or a Buddha be washed? You have to pour out your heart. Those tears are nothing but her heart. She is crying, weeping - she is utterly happy too. She is sad about her past, she is repentant about her past, but she is utterly overjoyed too because she has been able to come to Jesus, she has been able to touch his feet.
She must have been afraid, because no saint would allow himself to be touched by a woman of the street. She must have been afraid Jesus would say 'Woman, keep away!' But he has not said anything. He is there utterly showering compassion on her.
... AND BEGAN TO WASH HIS FEET WITH TEARS, AND DID WIPE THEM WITH THE HAIRS OF HER HEAD, AND KISSED HIS FEET, AND ANOINTED THEM WITH THE OINTMENT.
NOW WHEN THE PHARISEE WHICH HAD BIDDEN HIM SAW IT, HE SPAKE WITHIN HIMSELF, SAYING, THIS MAN, IF HE WERE A PROPHET, WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHO AND WHAT MANNER OF WOMAN THIS IS THAT TOUCHETH HIM: FOR SHE IS A SINNER.
Now this woman is being transformed, and this Pharisee - this respectable man - is missing. He has invited Jesus but he is not pulsating with him. Now his mind, his knowledge, his prejudice are coming in the way.
... HE SPAKE WITHIN HIMSELF... THIS MAN, IF HE WERE A PROPHET...
Now he knows the definition of a prophet. Everybody thinks he knows the definition of God, prophet, Messiah, Christ, Buddha. You have not ever looked into the eyes of a Buddha, you have never tasted of it.
Just the other night a sannyasin was saying to me that in Vrindavan here, things like garlic and onions are used int he food - -'These are harmful to meditation' - as if he knows what meditation is.
He has heard it. He runs a restaurant, so he knows about food - that is true; but he does not know anything about meditation. Who has told you that onion and garlic are against meditation? Have you meditated without onion and garlic and then with onion and garlic? Have you experimented? Just foolish ideas, fads, go on being given from one to another. One generation gives its foolishness to another generation. And the longer it has been transferred, the more powerful it becomes, because it has a history. The onion is so innocent. If you want to avoid, avoid apples not onions, because it is the apple which created the whole trouble.
But that story also seems to be wrong because I eat three apples every day just to see when God is going to expel me - he has not expelled me yet. My doctor had told me when I was young that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. So I started eating three to keep everybody away! But God has not expelled me yet, and he seems to be very overjoyed with me.
But the onion? It was not even forbidden to Adam. And if garlic is the problem, then Maitriji will never enter the kingdom of God - impossible. And he would not like to either, if he has to enter without garlic.
Fads! You don't know anything about meditation. You don't know anything about Christ, you don't know anything about Buddha. But you have ideas, and you are not even hesitant. He was so certain about it that even I felt it would be very shocking to say anything to him. So I said 'You come back and you start improving things here.'
... HE SPAKE WITHIN HIMSELF SAYING, THIS MAN, IF HE WERE A PROPHET, WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHO AND WHAT MANNER OF WOMAN THIS IS THAT TOUCHETH HIM: FOR SHE IS A SINNER.
He must have been waiting. Now this is a good situation to judge whether this man is a Messiah, a prophet or just an ordinary pretender. Now he is a pretender. He has not even been able to know that this woman is a sinner. He should have shouted 'Keep away, you ugly woman! You want to pollute me? poison my being? Keep away your ugly and impure hands! Get out from here!' Then the Pharisee would have been very happy. He would have recognised. 'Yes, this is how a prophet should be.' He would have touched his feet - but if he fits with his knowledge, then only... He is not ready to fit with Jesus; Jesus has to fit with him. That has to be remembered always.
Many of you try, with me too - I have to somehow fit with your inner arrangement, with your ideas. I have to behave according to you; if I don't behave, then I am wrong. But you are not hesitant about your ideas. If your ideas were right, then you would have arrived long before. You have not arrived, you are still searching and stumbling. And still you think your ideas are right?
This Pharisee knows nothing, otherwise he would have become a Christ by now. But knowledge is very stupid, very pretentious. It goes on believing in itself.
AND JESUS ANSWERING SAID UNTO HIM...
Jesus must have watched what happened, must have seen this man's face changing, must have seen that he was feeling a little ashamed that he had called this man into his house. Maybe he would have to clean his house, and whitewash it again. 'And not only this man has entered, a prostitute has come... And he does not know a thing about anything. He seems to be completely ignorant of the scriptures.'
AND JESUS ANSWERING SAID UNTO HIM...
And he has not SAID anything.
Many times you don't ask me things and I answer, because I feel the question is there. You are not gathering courage to ask it.
AND JESUS ANSWERING SAID UNTO HIM, SIMON, I HAVE SOMEWHAT TO SAY UNTO THEE.
AND HE SAITH, MASTER, SAY ON.
Now things have changed. Just inside he was saying 'this man' and outside he says 'Master'. How man lives in hypocrisy! How man goes on living in two worlds - split, schizophrenic! And these people think they can even deceive Jesus. Inside he says 'This man is not a prophet at all' outside he says 'Yes, Master, say on.'
THERE WAS A CERTAIN CREDITOR WHICH HAD TWO DEBTORS: THE ONE OWED FIVE HUNDRED PENCE AND THE OTHER FIFTY.
AND WHEN THEY HAD NOTHING TO PAY, HE FRANKLY FORGAVE THEM BOTH.
TELL ME THEREFORE...
asked Jesus ... WHICH OF THEM WILL LOVE HIM MOST?
Jesus always talks in parables, small parables, but greatly indicative, symbolic.
THERE WAS A CERTAIN CREDITOR WHICH HAD TWO DEBTORS: THE ONE OWED FIVE HUNDRED PENCE, AND THE OTHER FIFTY.
AND WHEN THEY HAD NOTHING TO PAY, HE FRANKLY FORGAVE THEM BOTH. TELL ME THEREFORE, WHICH OF THEM WILL LOVE HIM MOST?
SIMON ANSWERED AND SAID, I SUPPOSE THAT HE, TO WHOM HE FORGAVE MOST. AND HE SAID UNTO HIM, THOU HAST RIGHTLY JUDGED.
But just see the point. This man says 'I suppose...' When he was thinking about whether Jesus was a prophet or not, he had not thought in the words 'I guess, I suppose, I think'. No, he was certain.
Now he says 'I suppose... I guess that the one who has been forgiven most will love more.'
Jesus says
THOU HAST RIGHTLY JUDGED. WHEREFORE I SAY UNTO THEE, HER SINS, WHICH ARE MANY, ARE FORGIVEN; FOR SHE LOVED MUCH: BUT TO WHOM LITTLE IS FORGIVEN, THE SAME LOVETH LITTLE.
Two things: first, if you are forgiven your many sins you will love more, naturally. If you love more, more of your many sins will be forgiven, naturally. It works both ways. It is not just that you love only because your sins have been forgiven. If you love, your sins will be forgiven. If your sins are forgiven you will love. They go together.
Jesus is giving one of the greatest criterions ever given. It is not a question of how many sins you have committed in your lives - millions! The question is: Can you bow down to God and ask for his forgiveness? Can you surrender? Can you say to him 'I alone am not able to pay your debts, I am helpless. I am lost. If you save me, only then can I be saved; otherwise, there is no hope.' If you can say this from your very core of being: that is prayer. In that way Christianity is far more religious than Buddhism, Jainism, Hinduism. Because Buddhism, Jainism, Hinduism depend more on man's act, KARMA. They don't depend on God's compassion, on God's forgiveness. That dimension is missing, utterly missing in Jainism. That's why Jainism is very very dry, mathematical, calculating .
Sometimes I suspect because Jainism is so calculating, that's why all Jains have become businessmen. There must be some relationship between the two. Very calculating! - you have done one thing wrong, you have to do one thing good to cancel it. It is a question of mathematics. It is not religion. It is more of a science, because love never enters anywhere. Forgiveness... the very word is not known in Jain scripture. There is nobody to forgive, and forgiveness cannot be possible because that will be favouring a few people. There is no question of favouring anybody. Everybody has to suffer his sins, and everybody has to pay for them. It appeals to the logical mind, but it has no religious quality; it is dry. Without love, no religion can be religion.
Christianity has one beautiful thing and that is: God's compassion is our shelter. It is impossible to think that man will be able to get out of the mire of his actions on his own, all alone. He will get more and more into the mire. Man is helpless, unconscious, blind. To ask that he can get out of this LONG history of sins is almost to ask for the impossible. It is to ask for a miracle.
But there is a way - a way if you can surrender. In utter helplessness if you can- cry for God and say 'Save me! I am defeated. I accept my defeat, and I don't carry any more pride that will ever succeed. My failure is utter. I fall at your feet.'
Compassion is always there, because we come from this source. This source is our mother, God is our mother. If God cannot forgive you, then who will forgive? If this existence cannot forgive you, who will forgive? Forgiveness is possible; that is the great message that Christ brings to the world.
Every Messiah brings a special message, a unique message. This is Christ's special message.
WHEREFORE I SAY UNTO THEE, HER SINS, WHICH ARE MANY, ARE FORGIVEN; FOR SHE LOVED MUCH: BUT TO WHOM LITTLE IS FORGIVEN, THE SAME LOVETH LITTLE. AND HE SAID UNTO HER, THY SINS ARE FORGIVEN.
This is a miraculous statement! Just see the point of it. In his compassion, in his love, he simply says THY SINS ARE FORGIVEN. He is not miserly about it.
THY SINS ARE FORGIVEN.
Unconditionally! There is no condition attached to it. He is not saying 'You do this and do that, and then your sins will be forgiven.' No, he says 'They are forgiven. You loved much. Your tears have shown your helplessness. I have seen into your heart. You may have sinned on the outside. You may be a prostitute, but deep inside you are one of the purest souls that I have ever come across.'
Jesus has penetrated into her being. The prostitute is no more a prostitute, the body is no more a body. The visible is no more relevant, he has looked into the invisible, into that pure source: the fountain of consciousness. And this woman is really fortunate that she could cry, that she could wash his feet with her tears, that she poured ointment - valuable ointment - on his feet. These are just symbolic of her heart. She is pouring her heart.
AND HE SAID UNTO HER, THY SINS ARE FORGIVEN. AND THEY THAT SAT AT MEAT WITH HIM BEGAN TO SAY WITHIN THEMSELVES,
Now those Pharisees, those respectable people of the town - they started thinking and said 'Who is this man? How can he forgive anybody? What does he think of himself?'
And yes, I say to you, Christ can forgive - because he is not, only God is. He can forgive because HE IS NOT! He has disappeared, his ego no more functions there. It is God forgiving through him.
Just as God is a rose in a rose, God is a Christ in a Christ WHO IS THIS THAT FORGIVETH SINS ALSO? AND HE SAID TO THE WOMAN, THY FAITH HATH SAVED THEE...
These people were thinking in their minds again. To answer them, Jesus says to Mary Magdalene THY FAITH HATH SAVED THEE... He is not saying 'I have saved you.' He is saying 'How can I? I exist not, it is thy trust, thy faith.'
THY FAITH HATH SAVED THEE: GO IN PEACE.
Now there is no problem for you. Go in trust. Keep this trust alive. You are pacified.
Now those who had invited him, missed him; and this woman of the street penetrated into his deepest core and allowed him to penetrate into her deepest core.
When Jesus was on the cross, all his male disciples had left. They were hiding. Only this woman was near the cross, unafraid. It was dangerous.
In the night when he was caught, Jesus had told one disciple 'Don't follow me.' He said 'I will follow you, Master.' And Jesus said 'Don't be foolish. I know you - before the sun rises you will have denied me thrice.' And it happened like that. In the dark night when he was being taken by the enemies as a prisoner, that disciple followed, hiding in the crowd. But the crowd became suspicious, this man seemed to be new. In the light of the torches they saw that this man seemed to be new, they were not acquainted. They asked him 'Who are you? Are you a follower of Jesus?' And he said 'No, I don't know who Jesus is.' And this happened thrice. And when it happened thrice, the sun had not risen yet. And Jesus looked back and said loudly 'So you see, you have denied me thrice!'
The only person who was close to Jesus at the moment of death was Mary Magdalene, because she loved deeply. She was utterly sacrificed, dedicated to Jesus. When he was taken down from the cross she was the first woman to help. There were two other women - his mother was there and Mary Magdalene's sister was there - but not a single male disciple. Not a single one! Those wh-o had been discussing all along 'Who is the greatest?' and 'Who will be next to Jesus in heaven?' they were not there. They had escaped, afraid they might be caught they might be suspected of being followers of Jesus, they might be crucified too. Only love can remain to the very end. Only love can defy death.
Read these sutras very silently, and try to feel Christ through them. His message of forgiveness is one of the most significant.
And I also say to you, that if you are ready, if you pour down your heart, your sins are forgiven. They are forgiven in your very surrender. Not that I forgive them, they are forgiven in your very trust; you are free, you are saved.