Love's madness takes one beyond all insanity
Anand means bliss, veetkam means beyond sex. Bliss is the same energy as sex. If the energy remains completely involved in sex it cannot become bliss. Even in sexual orgasm that little bit of bliss comes to you because in that moment you are free of sex. This will look strange, but while you are making love, when the moment of orgasm comes you are free of sex for a moment. That freedom from sex brings bliss.
It is just as when you have eaten, for a few hours you are free from hunger; just as when you have drunk water, for a few hours you are free from thirst. The bliss that comes from sex is not really from sex: it is because for a few moments sex has disappeared from you. It is satiated - there is no longing, there is no desire; it is a moment of desirelessness. The orgasm is a moment of no passion, hence something of bliss descends in you.
A Buddha lives in that moment continuously. So this is the meaning of your name: bliss beyond sex... and it is my message to you. I am not against sex, and I am not saying drop sex. I am saying understand it, meditate over it - don't just go on making love in an unconscious way - and that will become your greatest meditation. Be more conscious, alert, aware, and see what is actually happening. Is this moment of bliss coming through sex or because there is no sex any more for a few moments and the desire has disappeared? For a few hours after sex you don't think of sex, hence the peace, the calm, the quiet. Again the desire will come and again the desire will disturb; again there will be turmoil and the lake will have ripples, waves.
If one meditates on one's sexuality, one starts understanding great secrets of life; they are hidden there. Sex is holding the very key. If is not only the key to reproduce children, it is also the key to recreate yourself again. It is not only reproduction, it is really recreation.
In English the word 'recreation' has lost its original meaning. Now 'recreation' means enjoying a holiday, enjoying fun, playing around. But in fact, whenever you are playing and you are on a holiday, something is created in you - it is actually recreation, it is not just fun. Something that dies in work and in the day-to-day world, is born again. And sex has become the most recreational act in people's lives. That is their recreation. But on a higher plane it is really recreation, it is not just fun.
It holds great secrets in it, and the first secret is - if you meditate you will see it - that joy comes because sex disappears. And whenever you are in that moment of joy, time also disappears - if you meditate on it - the mind also disappears. And these are the qualities of meditation.
My own observation is that the first glimpse of meditation in the world must have come through sex; there is no other way. Meditation must have entered into life through sex, because this is the most meditative phenomenon - if you understand it, if you go deep into it, if you just don't use it like a drug. Then slowly slowly as more understanding grows, the more the hankering disappears, and one day comes of great freedom when sex no more haunts you. Then one is quiet, silent, utterly oneself. The need for the other has disappeared. One can still make love if one chooses to, but there is no need.
Then it will be a kind of sharing.
Prem means love, subodhi means awareness. Love is the feminine part in you and awareness is the masculine part in you. And they both have to meet and merge into each other. If one only knows how to love and is not aware, one remains half. If one knows how to be aware and does not know how to love, again one remains half. And to be half is to be in misery. Hence the so-called worldly man is in misery and the man who lives in the monastery is in misery. They have chosen different kinds of miseries - that is true - but misery is misery. From what end you progress towards it makes no difference.
There is only one bliss in the world, and that bliss comes by becoming whole. And this is the most fundamental thing in becoming whole: your man and your woman inside must fall in love and disappear into each other. The inner being should become androgynous - neither man nor woman.
Then one is integrated, one is one. Otherwise one is many, otherwise one is poly-psychic, and to be poly-psychic is to be neurotic. To be poly-psychic means that one has many minds, one is a crowd - a thousand and one voices, and each dragging one in its own direction. One's life remains just a constant struggle... for no purpose. One rushes into one direction and then into another and then into another. This goes on and on and then one falls into the grave. From the cradle to the grave one rushes, runs too much, but reaches nowhere.
To become one is to arrive. And it is easier to choose one of the two; that's why people have chosen one. The worldly people have chosen love, the other-worldly people have chosen awareness. It is easy to choose one - it seems simple, less complicated, but then your being remains poor too.
Richness is always complex. One need not be afraid of complexity; one should be afraid only of a crowd. Complexity is perfectly good if it is centered in oneness, if it is a harmony.
If you listen to people's hearts they are like single notes - repeating the same. Very rarely do you find a man who is an orchestra. But an orchestra needs a great order. If every player in the orchestra goes on his own way then it will be maddening... unless there is an order and a harmony in which they are all separate and yet falling into one, all centered and rooted in oneness. Then life has richness.
So let love and awareness merge into you. Be more loving and be more aware at the same time.
Be aware and be loving at the same time. And great richness follows, great fulfilment, great fruition.
Anand means bliss, shamo means flame - a flame of bliss. Bliss is one of the most alive phenomena in the world. It is a flame. It is life. It is fire. Of course, it is cool fire, and the flame only gives light, it cannot burn. It is divine fire. This is the fire that Moses came across on Mount Sinai - the bush was not burning but the fire was there. It only gives light; it is the highest form of fire. And unless one becomes a flame of bliss, one remains discontented. It is as if the tree has not bloomed yet. When the tree blooms there is joy in the being of the tree. And when man becomes a flame of bliss there is fulfillment, contentment. Then only does one feel at home in the world, otherwise not.
I have chosen the orange colour for my sannyasins, symbolic of fire, flame, aliveness... of Dowers, of the rising sun, of all that is alive, flowing, flowering.
Start thinking about this flame, contemplating on this flame more and more. Think of yourself in terms of a flame, rising higher, reaching to the moon.
And one thing more: just as water flows downwards, the flame always flows upwards; it is a symbol of energy rising up. Soon you will come across it. Meditating you will start feeling it in your heart or some day in your dream, you will see yourself as a flame.
Deva means divine, manu means man. The English word 'man' comes from the root 'manu'; the root is Sanskrit. Divine man: man has to surpass his humanity. Man is only man in surpassing his humanity. Man is the only animal who can surpass himself. No dog can do it, no lion can do it, no elephant can do it. An elephant is born an elephant and will have to die as an elephant. They are completely programmed. By their very birth the whole programme is determined; they cannot go anywhere else than is destined by nature. Man is the only free animal in existence. That is his dignity and the danger too, because if man decides to fall he can fall below man. Just as he can go beyond man, he can also fall below man. So when man falls he is far more dangerous, ferocious, murderous, than any animal in the world. If he rises, then even gods are jealous of him.
In the East we have many beautiful stories.... When Gautam became Buddha, became enlightened, gods came to worship him. He was surprised. He said 'But you are gods - you live in heaven.
Why have you come to worship a man?' And they said 'You don't know - we are jealous of you.
We are not yet enlightened. You have gone beyond. You have transcended humanity, you have transcended all forms. We are still tethered to a certain form - the divine form. We are gods but you are nobody; you have become a nothingness Your purity is infinite, your innocence is infinite. Your ego has disappeared. Hence we have come to prostrate ourselves before you.'
Man can go so far beyond that gods can feel jealous; man can go so far below that even animals will feel condemnation. Man is openness, freedom; man is not a built-in programme. It is up to you, it is absolutely up to you, up to everybody, to be decisive. And even if somebody decides not to decide, he has decided: he has decided not to decide. But you cannot avoid decisions. Not to decide means to remain wherever you are; evolution cannot happen without your effort. The natural evolution has brought you up to man, now only revolution can take you beyond it, hence religion is revolution. Nature is evolution.
Evolution is very slow. It takes millions of years to pass from one stage to another. From monkey to man it took millions of years, but in a single instant one can move from man to a Buddha. In a single instant one can become son of god from being son of man. All that is needed is an intensity, a totality, a devotion, a dedication, a commitment.
So let sannyas become your dedication, a commitment, your devotion. Let sannyas become the beginning of a journey beyond man. Look upwards to the faraway stars.
When I say man has to surpass humanity, I mean man has to surpass the earthly, the dark, the gross. In fact, the word 'humanity' comes from 'humus', a Latin root. Humus means the earth; human means the earthly. One has to go beyond the earth, one has to use the earth as a jumping- board. One has to use this body made of the earth as a vehicle to go beyond earth, the earthly, the material. The journey is from dust to the divine. As man is born he is only dust, humus, just the earth element. But a potential is there to become the sky, to transform the gross into the subtle, to move from the visible to the invisible.
Deva means divine, mani means diamond - a divine diamond. The diamond is there in the heart, it has always been there - it has to be discovered. And it is not in the outside world, so one need not go anywhere to discover it; one has just to look within. It is not something that has to be created; it is already there. We have forgotten about it because our eyes are looking and searching outside.
We are putting ourselves at the back. Our nature is no more in front of us. Our nature has become covered with the dust of centuries, of many lives. We have thrown our nature into the basement of the house; we never go there. And it is in that nature that our treasure lies... what Jesus calls 'the kingdom of god within'.
It is there. But people are looking in the heavens and they are searching everywhere. The search is becoming more and more frantic because nothing is found, it is becoming more and more desperate because nothing is found. Slowly slowly man is entering into a kind of despair, as if there is nothing...
in a kind of stoic depression: 'Okay, if there is nothing, there is nothing. We have to pull on together somehow, we have to drag on. There is no meaning in life, no significance in life. Life is an utterly useless passion.' This is not true. We have not looked in the right direction. We are gods and the treasure is infinite, inexhaustible, but it has to be discovered, or, to be more true: rediscovered. It has to be remembered. It is a forgotten treasure.
To be initiated into sannyas means to become available to a person who has discovered it so that he can also supply a map to you... if not exactly the map, then a few hints, fingers pointing to the moon.
Deva means divine, daya means compassion, ananda means bliss - divine compassion and bliss.
Compassion is divine when it is not out of sympathy; otherwise it is human. If you feel sympathy for somebody because he is in suffering, it is compassion but it is not divine. Divine compassion is when you are so full of joy, so full of bliss, that it is not a question of whether somebody is suffering or not; you go on showering it. The other does not need to be in suffering to receive it: you give it because you have it. That's the difference. When the other needs to be in suffering and then you give it, it is human; not to give it would be inhuman. It is better to give than not to give.
But there is a higher quality of compassion when the other need not be in suffering. You simply give because you have it, you cannot help giving. Then you are not obliging anyone: in fact the other is obliging you by receiving it; he could have rejected. You have to be thankful to him who receives anything from you; then compassion has the quality of divineness.
God gives not because you are in suffering but because he has. He gives to those who are in suffering, he gives to those who are not in suffering. He gives to the saints, he gives to the sinners - he gives to all. He is an overflowing, and when one becomes an overflowing love, an overflowing bliss, then that bliss has a beauty, a transcendental beauty to it. And because of that transcendental beauty, I call it divine.
Contemplate on it, and slowly slowly drop the inhuman. Become human and then drop the human and become divine. These are the three possibilities: inhuman, human, divine. But remember, the goal is to be divine.
Anand means bliss, and vineet means humility, humbleness - a blissful humbleness. Jesus says 'Blessed are the meek, for theirs is the kingdom of god.' That is the meaning of your name: to be meek, humble. And humility brings bliss as a by-product; bliss is a spin off, a by-product of humility.
Just a few moments ago I was saying that the word 'humanity' comes from 'humus'; so does humility - that also comes from 'humus'. One has to remember that we are made of dust and soon we will go back to dust, so what is the point of being proud and egoistic? It is stupid. Only stupid people are egoistic people. And the moment the ego disappears, all misery disappears with it; misery is a shadow of the ego. When there is no ego there is humility. And humility is bliss. Become humble, become nobody.
Don't feel in terms of competition, ambition. Ambition is violence. Ambition is enmity with other people. And the ambitious person is the shallowest person in the world; that's why politicians are so shallow and so stupid too. The humble person has depth - his very nothingness gives him depth.
And his very nothingness makes him incapable of being miserable. He cannot be wounded. How can you wound a nothingness? He is not there to be wounded at all.
Somebody insults him, but that insult comes and goes just as the breeze comes and goes, and the humble person is there, just watching. It hurts not. It is only the ego, the knot of the ego that hurts.
And when that knot disappears - and it can disappear any moment; one just has to see that this is the root cause of one's suffering - then there is no problem at all. One simply drops it; one simply drops the style of life that creates the ego. The ego gone, all becomes possible.
[To a sannyasin about her relationship] But anyway, if he wants to move with some other woman - whatsoever the excuse is, that is not the point - if he wants to move, he wants to. There is no point in suffering unnecessarily. What can be done? He cannot be forced. If he is forced, and he is with you because he is forced, it is pointless; he will take revenge on you.
And my feeling is that it is very good: let him be free and you also be free. Whenever freedom comes, welcome it! Freedom is always good. I have never seen that freedom can harm anybody in any way. It never harms - it always proves a blessing. But in the beginning it all hurts a little, mm? because your security, safety, entanglements, investment.... And whenever a person leaves, you don't think 'What is coming?' - you only start thinking of the past, of what is going. That's where you miss.
Always look to the future, because the future is to come. Don't be bothered by the past. All this misery is because now you are thinking of the past - all the good moments that you had with him.
But they are gone and they cannot be repeated. And even if they can be repeated, it will be pointless because it will be a repetition and you will not enjoy them. In fact, they will only create boredom in you.
Always look to what is going to happen. Look forward; one cannot go backward. But that's how people are: they have eyes at the back. They move ahead and they move back. Just think: what would happen on the roads if cars had lights at the back and there were only rearview mirrors available for the driver and he could not see ahead? If he had to look at the rearview mirror and lights were falling on the road which he has already passed. There would only be accidents and accidents. If somebody were to come home alive that would be an accident then! And how could you survive?
This is what is happening in human life: you move ahead and you look back. Welcome freedom; it is perfectly good.
And why make him guilty? - because your misery will make you miserable and will make him guilty.
That is not right at all. Why waste time in being miserable? Time is precious. The same time you can enjoy and celebrate. And there are so many beautiful people. Why get so tethered and chained to one person? Have a little bigger heart! Be a little available to more people. And you will not feel that it is a curse. Within a week you will see that it has been a blessing and you will thank him. Then he will not feel guilty either and both will be enriched by the experience.
This much we owe to each other, that when a certain relationship disappears we should not make each other feel guilty. And this is part of the feminine mind: to become very clinging and to create guilt in the other and to create the feeling that he has sinned or he has done something wrong; not actually saying it but creating the whole thing in such a way that the other becomes miserable.
So let him enjoy! If he is happy with some other woman, perfectly good. You always wanted him to be happy and he is! And that's what love is: you want the other to be happy. Give it to him as a gift.
Tell him 'Veetraga, don't feel guilty. You be happy, and I will try on my own; I will seek and search.'
It will be good if you are both free; and if out of freedom you meet again one day, perfectly good. But this way you will create barriers. If you make him feel guilty then the possibility of meeting again is finished. But if he can see that Prarthana is feeling happy because he is happy, he will see the point of your love, he will feel your heart, and he may come back! I am not saying that he has to come back or he will come back... he may come back. But don't cry and weep and don't waste time.
The ego feels hurt. It is not love that feels hurt, it is the ego. It is the ego that starts thinking and comparing with the other woman: 'So what is he seeing in the other woman? So he has found a better woman than me?' Deep down these are the real wounds. It is not a question of better: people get tired of each other. It is nothing personal about you. People get tired of each other because life becomes a routine, monotonous phenomenon.
Simply drop it right now, forget about it, and start looking for a friend.
[She asks about her daughter Kiran understanding this.] She will understand, because for Kiran, Veetraga [her father] will remain available; there is no problem about it. So many children.... And children are very understanding. Kiran will feel very miserable if you are miserable: she will feel miserable. But if she sees that Prarthana is happy, within two, three days she will see that the whole thing is perfectly beautiful, nothing is wrong. You think you are miserable because of her and she will remain miserable because of you, because the child remains in a very sympathetic relationship with the mother. If she sees that you are happy, she will forget all about it. It is not her love affair, and she has not chosen another child, adopted another child.
There is no problem - the problem is with you. Deep down you would like to see her miserable so that you can create more misery for Veetraga: 'Look what you have done to the child. You have done this to me and you have done this to the child, and you are feeling very joyful and are enjoying.
We will poison your joy.'
Never poison anybody's joy, because by poisoning anybody's joy you are poisoning your own well- being, because whatsoever you do to others will be done to you.
Just try my recipe: drop the whole thing and go dancing and say to Kiran 'This is so good - he is free, I am free and it is perfectly beautiful.'
And my understanding of children is this: that they are so understanding. They become unnecessarily involved in the parents' fight, they are pulled in. The mother wants to pull, the father wants to pull, and the child's life becomes a misery. He becomes a politician by and by: he will say one thing to the father and something else to the mother. With the mother he will be with the mother, with the father he will be with the father. He has to become that political because he is in between these two persons. So don't create that thing. It is nothing. She will understand; children forget very soon.
The question is yours, and the sooner you drop it, the better. There is no need to wallow in this misery. And you will be surprised: if you start feeling happy, if tomorrow Veetraga looks at you and sees that you are happy, he may start feeling miserable: 'What is happening? Has she found somebody better than me?' (laughter) Just let him feel it, and let him come crying and weeping!
These are the games that people go on playing. He will feel very good if you are miserable. Deep down he will say 'Look, now you know what I mean to you. You never recognized it before, but now it is too late.'
Just be a little more courageous - this much has to be learned here. And these things are going to happen again and again. I am here to make you more and more strong to go through all these things. Drop it! By the morning be completely out of it. And you will be out of it only if you start finding somebody; otherwise, alone, you will remain in it. So find a lover!