Darshan 3 September 1978
[A sannyasin brings her baby and says she has been screaming a lot which upsets her.]
That is part of being a mother....
It is not an easy job....
But now it is too late! Every woman wants to become a mother without knowing the responsibilities. It is a long commitment. And remember: never think of what is right and what is wrong. Do whatsoever is spontaneous. If you decide what is wrong and what is right you will go nuts. And then she will suffer. Just be spontaneous. Sometimes to be annoyed is perfectly right... perfectly good - nothing is wrong in it. The whole idea of right and wrong is wrong. You are a mother so you know from your inward core what to do and what not to do; this should not be decided by the mind. It is just like a cat knows how to catch the rat... no school is needed for the cat.
So just be a good mother to her and by "a good mother" I mean a spontaneous mother. And sometimes screaming is good, because life will scream at her, so she has to be prepared for that.
Her husband will shout, so she has to be prepared for that....
When she is relaxed, be relaxed; when she is annoyed, be annoyed, but don't make it a program - that you have to do this. Whatsoever happens, let it happen.
Anand means bliss, dharmo means religion - the religion of bliss. And my religion contains only one word: that word is bliss. To be blissful is to be religious. To be sad is to be irreligious. So whatsoever
makes you blissful is right; that has to be imbibed more. Whatsoever makes you sad has to be dropped.
People have learned the ways of being sad because when they are sad and serious they look important. When they are playful, happy, joyous, they don't look important. The priest is serious, the professor is serious, the politician is serious, and they have become the models; people are following them.
Follow children - non-serious, playful. Become a child again, and then there is no need for any Bible or Koran. Then there is no need to go into any church or temple; wherever you are is the temple.
Joy is the temple of God. Laughter is prayer. And if one can live in a laughing way, dancing way, one has known how to live.
Prem means love, abhijat means aristocrat - the aristocracy that comes through love. Love makes one an aristocrat because love is the greatest luxury in the world, the greatest richness. The person who knows how to love is the most affluent person; all others are poor, all others are living in ghettos.
Only the person who lives in love lives in a palace. He is really an aristo; all others only brag. He may not have anything, he may not possess anything: he may have no bank balance, no security.
He may apparently be a beggar, but the way he walks, the way he looks, the way he sits, is that of an emperor.
To attain to inner aristocracy is the whole effort that I am making here - to help you to become the aristocrat of the inner, to become spiritually rich, because no other richness helps. It may hide your poverty for a time being but again and again your poverty erupts. The truth cannot be forced down for long; it asserts itself again. And all your richness remains just like a thin layer around you and deep down - the black hole of poverty.
There is no need for this to happen. It happens because we have never made any efforts for the inner. The efforts that we make for the outer are so many and the efforts that we make for the inner are none. If we make the same efforts for the inner as we make for the outer, each person would be transformed into a Buddha. Each person has the potential of a Buddha. Less than that should not satisfy. One should not feel contented with less than that. Unless the Buddha ariseS in you, unless your soul awakens and the inner celebration starts... you have to work hard, you have to dig deep.
One has to find one's original face; that face is always the face of an emperor.
So I teach richness, luxury, affluence. And the outer is only a substitute; the inner is the real thing.
Those who are lost in the outer and have forgotten the inner are to be pitied; they are simply wasting their lives. They will repent, but then it will be too late. They will repent at the moment that death knocks at their doors but then nothing can be done. It is good to become aware before death comes.
It is good to be initiated into some inner journey before death comes and destroys all that you have made. It is good to create something that is beyond the grasp of death. And that's what sannyas is all about: a search for something deathless.
It is there. One just has to look for it, thirst for it. It is not far away either - just a one-hundred-and- eighty-degree turn and you are face-to-face with it.
I don't ask you to change your situation: I ask you to change your psychology. Be in the marketplace and yet be not of it; live in the world, but don't allow the world to pollute you, poison you. This is real transformation - not of the situation but of the spirit.
Henry Thoreau has made a very significant observation, that birds in caves don't sing. They cannot - there is nothing to sing. They need the open sky and the sun and the moon and the breeze and the trees and the color of the world... then they sing. If birds cannot sing in caves, the human soul cannot sing in caves either. The human soul also needs this tremendous multiplicity, this multi-dimensional existence, to sing. And when a man forgets how to sing, how is he going to pray? Because prayer is nothing but singing at the maximum. Prayer is nothing but singing come to its crescendo.
The old so-called sannyasins who lived in the caves lived like corpses. They were not alive people; they committed a kind of suicide. They lingered on, they were breathing and in a sense they were alive, but that life was more like vegetating than life.
Live totally, live joyously, live alert and conscious, but live in the world, accept its challenges. I am saying it to you because in the Indian mind the old sannyas concept has gone very deep; it is almost in the bones. It is not conscious any more; it has become part of our collective unconscious. The moment you hear the word "sannyas," the idea that arises is of escape. And to escape seems to be easy and cheap, but it is the way of the coward, and a sannyasin cannot be a coward. A sannyasin has to be courageous, a sannyasin has to be a warrior. He has to be in the world, struggling, accepting challenges that come every day, answering. And in those very situations, integration happens; one becomes more and more solid, crystallized.
Life is a school for crystallization, so those who escape life escape from the school itself. And God will be very angry with them, because God sends you into life to learn something - and you escape.
It is as if your parents send you to school and you escape; you say, "I have renounced the school." The school has to be transcended, not renounced. You have to pass through all those examinations.
They are hard; the harder they are, the better.
So this is my message to you on your sannyas birth: change your psychology but don't be bothered about the situation outside. It's perfectly okay; as it is, it is perfectly good. Then the whole emphasis is on the inner change. Then you don't become occupied with outer changes - what to eat, what not to eat, where to live, where not to live, how long to stay in a place, how many things to keep - because if there are so many things you may become attached - to look at a woman or not, to touch a woman or not. Then there are a thousand and one problems, and one becomes so occupied with all that nonsense that no time is left to work for the inner journey.
So no need to be worried about those things. Put your whole energy into meditation. Let meditation explode in you and all else will follow of its own accord. All the changes come to the person who meditates, and they come without any effort. And when they come without any effort, they have a beauty. They are not forced changes....
So whenever you can come, come for a camp - do at least one camp so you can do all the meditations.
Go to the center... and start meditating. Would you like to say something to me?
[The sannyasin asks: When I am looking in the mirror I feel that the reflection is not mine. Why is it so? I am looking daily in the mirror. I feel that whatever I am looking at is not me.]
It's perfectly beautiful, this experience - because you are not your body, you are not your face. Your body is just like your clothes, it is just your garment. Go on looking; the feeling will become more and more clear and loud. One day you will suddenly see that whatsoever you are seeing in the mirror is not you at all, and that will be a great insight. It is not you! People think that they are seeing themselves in the mirror because they are identified with their bodies.
Something is changing inside: the identification is breaking It is a beautiful sign....
It should not be thought of as a trouble but as a blessing. Yes, when you look in the mirror and you feel this is not you, it is very disorienting. Nothing to be worried about - enjoy it! This is how it should be; this is truth. If you think you are mirrored in the mirror, that is a lie... although an accepted lie and everybody believes in it. You will feel at ease with it, because everybody also thinks that way.
Otherwise this is a lie we have agreed upon.
You are not it. It is just a reflection of your body, not your reflection. Your consciousness cannot be reflected by the mirror; there is no mirror to reflect it.
If anything comes to reflect consciousness - the closest to the mirror - that is love. Only in very deep love do you sometimes feel some reflections of your being which are not of your body but of your consciousness. But those too are very rare, because love, to go that deep, needs great courage, great surrender... and people are not ready to surrender that much. They want the other to surrender; then it never happens.
But once in a while it happens to lovers; they can function like mirrors for each other. And when two lovers are in deep intimacy and have become mirrors reflecting each other, a great experience happens, because if two mirrors are reflecting each other nothing will be reflected. Infinity will be reflected. There will be no end to it. This mirror will reflect that, and that mirror will reflect this mirror, and so on and so forth, ad infinitum. If two mirrors are facing each other they will create an infinity.
And that's the beauty of love: at its climax, when two persons become really intimate, they reflect each other and suddenly persons disappear; there is only presence and infinite presence. Only love comes a little bit close to the mirror, but the ordinary mirror cannot do that.
The experience is something beautiful, very significant. Disorienting, I understand, but if once you understand that this is right, the disorientation will disappear and it can become a meditation for you.
Make it a meditation: whenever you have time, just look at the mirror and see that it is not you. Now see it consciously; don't avoid it. In fact, make it a meditation: sit before the mirror for as long as you can, continuously seeing that this is not you. And this can give you a great satori, a great insight, one day. Suddenly you will see that your body has disappeared: there is only consciousness, pure witness.
Make a meditation out of it. It has been used in the past as a meditation.
[A sannyasin, who is leaving for London, says: Here or in London I really have to go inside.]
You have to go inside - that's true. Wherever you are, you have to go inside. That's perfectly true.
So make all effort to break the walls. Be almost like an army attacking a castle. It is really a castle, because the mind defends - it throws you out, it does not allow you in. It creates a thousand and one excuses to bring you out again. So one has to be very watchful; otherwise the mind brings distractions, allurements. The moment you start going in, the mind creates many allurements, and at the slightest hint you are distracted. You forget all about the inner journey and you have moved out, and as far away as possible. Each thought takes you away from yourself.
Whenever there is a thought you are away from yourself; when there is no thought you are in. That is the meaning of being in: a state of no-thought. Then you are in. There will not even be the thought, "I am in." If it is there, you are not in yet. If you are thinking, "Look, Dharmen, how beautiful - I am in," you are not, because this is a thought. When you are really in there is no Dharmen, no in, no Out, no thought, no experience, nothing. Not even a spiritual experience is there. All has dissolved.
Nothing is. One is in a state of no-where-ness. Then one is in.
But that's what has to be done, so whether here or in London, it makes no difference. All the difference that is possible is: here I go on hammering on you again and again to remind you; but that can be done there too.
Help my people there!
[A sannyasin says she is frightened because her head is turning all the time; it fades away and comes up and fades away.]
Whenever it happens, just watch it. There is no need to be worried about it. Worrying will make the problem worse. Trying to stop it will create more trouble. Simply be aloof and watch it happening as if it has nothing to do with you. A kind of indifference - as if it is just the road and the traffic is passing by and you are sitting in your house looking at the road.
And that's exactly how it is: the mind is just the way along which the traffic of thoughts passes by.
Sometimes there are rush hours and sometimes the road is empty, and you are sitting there deep in the heart watching it. And when I say "watch it," I mean don't judge - don't say it is not right, it should not be - because then the watching disappears. It has nothing to do with you.
In the fall the leaves fall. What can you do? In the spring the trees bloom. What can you do? So there are seasons in the mind. Sometimes it is empty, sometimes it is full, sometimes it is very noisy and sometimes it is silent; this is a rhythm. You are neither the silent mind nor the noisy mind - you remain the watcher of both. So don't choose.
That's where you are creating the problem: when it is silent you become identified. You think, "So this is who I am - so beautiful!" If you become identified with the silent mind, then of course when it is noisy you will feel troubled. Don't get identified even with the silent mind, because the mind is the mind; silent or non-silent makes no difference. When it is silent then too know it is just the mind so it's okay. When it is noisy, it is the mind; you are away from it.
Develop this aloofness, this distance, and things, will change slowly slowly of their own accord. But . whether they change or not is none of your business; just leave it. Leave it to the mind itself. Don't interfere. Don't come in. Your energy is going perfectly well - only this watching has to be added.
[A sannyasin, who has just completed primal therapy, says that since a bike accident when she was eight she feels pain and numbness in her left side including the tongue and leg. Osho checks her energy.]
No, no, nothing - both of the hemispheres of the brain have lost the bridge. It is there but not much traffic between both. But it will be put right....
That falling off the bicycle has hurt deeply. Both brains have fallen apart; that's why [your primal therapist] felt the split. They have to be brought together. A few things will be helpful. One is:
acupuncture will be helpful. Have you tried acupuncture?...
Here you try acupuncture, one thing. Shiatsu, the second thing. And the third thing is: if you can manage, have a hot and cold bath together. Start with hot - a hot shower so that the whole body becomes hot, really hot, as much as you can bear - then a very cold shower. Two minutes hot, two minutes cold; two minutes hot, two minutes cold, four, five times. Begin with hot and end with cold.
That will help immensely.
Something inside the brain has just stopped functioning - just the link. Both these brains are linked.
Either some blood has become a clot there or something else, but this change from hot to cold, from cold to hot, will help immensely. So these three things you do.
It will be okay - it will take two, three months but it will go. Nothing to worry about. It has been there so long, that's why it will take a little time. But there is no need to be worried. Good!
[A sannyasin, who is leaving, says in the groups he has done he became aware of energy blocked in his head, tightness in the throat, chest and shoulders.]
There you can do Rolfing - that will be helpful - or Postural Integration. Either one will do. Some work, deep work, on the body is needed.
Everybody carries many blocks but ordinarily we have repressed those blocks so much that they don't surface. But when you go through groups you start relaxing; your repression is removed and the blocks start surfacing. Nothing is wrong in their surfacing, because unless they surface you will never drop them; unless they really become a problem you will carry them for your whole life.
And carrying those blocks is carrying an unnecessary load. But they are there - almost everybody has them, because our social conditioning and upbringing is such; we have not been brought up in freedom. We have been inhibited in so many ways that in fact it is a miracle how we survive all these inhibitions, repressions, taboos. How we are alive at all - that is a miracle, because there are so many rocks inside the being, and life is disconnected, disrupted.
The wounds are deep and it will be very difficult to see them, so the mind has learned a trick: not to look at them. Slowly slowly we forget all about them. They remain there because just by forgetting them they don't disappear. They go on working from the unconscious; they go on affecting your life. But you are unaware; you go on blaming others, and you don't see what is happening inside, how you are destroying your own life. But when you pass through meditations and therapy groups, slowly slowly you start looking at your own self. You are less afraid. You want to be acquainted with yourself, and then all those wounds and blocks start coming up. It is frightening in the beginning, but it is good, because once you know them they can be dropped.
Rolfing will be of immense help. And at least one meditation you should continue - which you choose. Whichever one do you like the most?
[The sannyasin answers: Sometimes Vipassana, sometimes Kundalini.]
If you can do both that will be very good, because they have different ways of working. In the morning you can do Kundalini, in the evening you can do Vipassana. Or in the evening you can do Kundalini, in the morning you can do Vipassana. If it is possible to manage two, then it will be perfectly good.
If it is not possible, then choose one. But at least one meditation has to be a must. And next time you come, these things will be dissolved.