Darshan 27 April 1976
[A small boy sannyasin asks what it means to be enlightened.]
(chuckling) Very good! I will make you enlightened and then you will know!
The word means when the inner light bums and you are full of light. It is just like a small lamp inside which is not burning yet, mm? It has to be kindled and then you will be full of light. You will become!
[The child's mother is returning to Holland, and says: I wrote you a letter about feeling exhausted, and after I had written the letter it was better.]
Mm mm, it always happens. Just write to me and forget all about it. Whenever something is a problem, simply write it as clearly as possible.
... Yes, when you are also in Holland. If there is some problem, just write it down as clearly as possible. I insist for clarity so that the problem becomes clear to you. When you describe it perfectly, in that very description you start being aloof. It is no more your problem... it is as if it belongs to somebody else. Give that problem to me as a gift and forget all about it, and you will not find it haunting you anymore. !n fact all problems exist because we are not conscious of them. Just become conscious.
That's what the whole psychoanalysis is. The psychoanalyst is not doing anything - just helping you to become conscious; bringing whatsoever is hidden in the unconscious to the surface. It comes to the surface and you see it. In that very seeing, ninety percent of the problem is almost gone. So whenever you have a problem, the first thing is to become clear about it. Never be vague.
... write to me - then you will be able to be clear. If you try to be clear inside yourself, it will be difficult in the beginning. If you have to say it to somebody else, immediately the mechanism functions, and the feeling is transformed into thought.
There are four levels of consciousness. In India we have particular names for them. The first we call para, the second pashyanti, the third madhyama, and the fourth vaikhari.
Vaikhari is like a flower... the word means flowering. When you express something in thought it is vaikhari. Just below it is madhyama. Madhyama means the medium, the bridge. The thing is clear to you as a feeling but it has not yet become a thought.
A feeling needs to become a thought only when you want to convey it to somebody, otherwise there is no need. So the fourth stage of flowering is when the fragrance starts spreading, moves away from the flower. The third stage is of madhyama. ,It is like a bud whose petals are closed. The flower is not yet available to others. The fragrance is inside, hidden. If you don't express, it will remain like a bud.
That's why expression is tremendously useful. If you are feeling very very angry, just express it on a pillow, but don't just go on feeling. Beat the pillow... be angry. Let it come to a flower.
Suddenly the fragrance is gone and you will feel unburdened. The whole method of psychoanalysis is bringing a thing from madhyama to vaikharia, from the bud to the flower.
Below the madhyama, there is another space we call pashyanti. Feeling is still not clear. ,It has not even become a feeling yet; just a vagueness, mm? Sometimes it looks as if it is there; sometimes it is not there. It is like a plant whose buds have not yet come... they are hiding inside the plant. You know they will be coming. You feel the first footsteps, but very vague, far away. That is the state of no feeling - just sheer existence. Below even that is para.
Para means not even existence. A thing is still in non-existence. Pashyanti is like a seed... everything is closed, and the plant has not sprouted yet. When the plant has not sprouted, buds cannot be.
When buds are not there, the flower is not possible. Pashyanti is like the seed and para is the very source. In scientific terminology you can call it the black hole... the non-being. Even the seed has not come up.
Or think of it in this way. Somebody dies and the soul roams around, wanders around. This is para. Then the soul is conceived in a womb; this is pashyanti. Then the child grows and the mother starts feeling the existence of the child after a few days. That is madhyama. One day when the nine months are over, the child is born; this is vaikhari.
These four stages apply to everything: non-being, being, feeling, thought. If a person moves from the para to vaikhari, then only he feels fulfilled. Otherwise one feels very meaningless. So whatsoever the thing - anger, happiness, laughter, crying, sadness, whatsoever - bring it to vaikhari. Never leave it somewhere else, otherwise it will be a hangover. It will persist until it has been completed.
,If you can bring your madness to vaikhari, madness will disappear and you will be unburdened.
A madman needs nothing else but expression - and the expression is not allowed; the society is repressive. That's why I insist so much for dynamic methods so that things are brought out; one is relaxed. One feels cleaned, bathed, pure... one feels spacious. That's what happened to you.
You wrote the letter and the feeling became thought, the bud flowered. In that very flowering the problem disappeared, almost disappeared. And if it remains a little, that simply shows that a few petals could not flower; nothing else. You could not express it as totally as it needed to be expressed.
When you write to me, wait, don't be in a hurry. Write one day, and then wait until tomorrow, and again look at the letter. You will see that many things have to be added, and that a few things are useless and can be deleted. Second day, third day, fourth day, fifth - do this for seven days - but don't send the letter. Ninety percent of your letters will never be sent (a chuckle). Just by writing for seven days you will see that the problem has disappeared.
You will see the change in how dear you become every day. Many things which you were thinking are part of the problem are not part of the problem, and you will become aware of this. Many things that you were thinking were not important become important by the third day. By the fourth day you see it in a different perspective. By the seventh day, either the problem is solved completely, or the problem is such that it has to be accepted and there is no solution for it. Then too, it is solved.
There are only two types of problems: problems which can be solved, and problems which can only be accepted because they are not really problems but are part of life.
Somebody dies and you feel sad. It is not a problem because the person cannot be revived. One has to accept that death is part of life, and sadness by and by disappears. People remain sad for long if they cannot accept the fact of death, if they go on saying, 'No, how can he die? It was not the right time for him to die.' They are trying to deny the facticity of death. In their minds they are still thinking as if the person is still alive, or at least should be alive. They cannot accept that death has happened. Then they have not accepted the problem.
So there are problems which can be solved; you will become aware of them within seven days. If the problem is such that it cannot be solved, then too you will become aware that this has to be accepted but the problem disappears.
[She also says that she feels sad at leaving.]
Don't think about the future. Whatsoever happens is good and helps in a certain way. It was needed otherwise it would not have happened.
So never hope that this should happen and that should not happen - no. Always remember that whatsoever is bad never happens, and whatsoever is good happens, and will happen. Go happily, mm?
[A sannyasin said that at the end of Kundalini, her body starts really shaking and becomes more sensitive.]
This is one of the basic problems - that we have been taught to control everything, so a very subtle control mechanism exists.
You may not be consciously controlling, but a very subtle mechanism goes on controlling. One is always on guard and holding. Holding has become so habitual that there is no need to do anything; it simply goes on happening. You will have to consciously de-control, uncontrol.
Help the vibrations, and if the hand is shaking go into it and shake more. Even exaggerate it so that soon the de-control will settle in. Once the energy flows without any control, it purifies you, transmutes you. By and by it starts moving into higher places.
Right now it is moving at the sex centre. That's why so much control has been taught in the world because people are afraid of sex. Left uncontrolled it may create chaos. So women have been taught not to even move while making love, but just to lie down like a corpse, to just remain passive.
Man became aware that if women move they can go wild, almost in that moment insane, and the man will not known what to do.
So just to be safe, man has taught woman not even to move. It has been taught that that is their grace and dignity, and all sorts of nonsense. Grace is energy. A corpse cannot be graceful. Howsoever graceful a state you are lying in, your corpse will not be graceful. Only an alive person, throbbing with energy, almost wild.... That wildness need not be insane. It can become insane if you go on controlling and then it bursts forth. But if you move with it, you remain the master.
Don't be afraid - move with it. Any moment you want to stop it, stop it. You simply say stop and it stops. It cannot go on on its own, and that is a fear. So don't be afraid.
[A visitor says I'm a bit confused about some of the things you say about Sai Baba.]
There is no need to be confused - you can believe in him.
... Wherever there is confusion, leave me immediately and believe in whatsoever you want to. If you can be with me whatsoever I say, if you can be here without any inner conflict, only then be here, otherwise there is no need.
I never try to solve your confusions - never. I create them - that's my whole device. If you feel confused you have to decide this way or that. There is no necessity to be convinced with me... no necessity. If you feel that you have a better thing to be convinced with be with it. But if you come with me, come totally. If you want to disagree, disagree completely. There is nothing wrong in it - at least you disagreed totally. That totalness will be with you and you will not be confused, but don't agree half-way.
And I make no concessions... no compromises. I'm not a democratic man... almost dictatorial (laughter). So just feel what feels good for you because ultimately it is a question of your well-being.
If you feel good, good.
... Then just be here... and those confusions will disappear by and by. I will create so many that you will not be able to carry them all. You will have to drop them! (laughter)
[The visitor said he had been practising zazen for some time. Osho said that was very good and that he should continue but add some cathartic methods too. Osho said of zazen that it is one of the most beautiful things that has ever happened on earth but alone would not be helpful for the visitor...]
Zazen will help you to not collect any more dust but the dust you have collected will not be thrown out by it. For that you need catharsis, acting out. So try to manage both together; then yin and yang, male and female both come together and you become a more whole person.
[Osho went on to say how the older methods were passive, and if one practised only them, one became more and more estranged from the world, relationship, etc.
The perfect balance is when you can be silent not only in a monastery, but in the marketplace.... ]
If you can remain silent while you are speaking, can run, and at the same time remain immobile within, you have a richness which the person who can only run will not have, nor the person who can only sit and not run. The richness comes out of polar opposites.
So add a few dynamic methods. Zen plus Sufi - that is exactly the right combination. If you can make a synthesis out of these two, you will be moving in the right direction. Then nobody - not even I - can confuse you!
[The visitor says he has trouble making a decision because his mind changes all the time.
Osho said this was quite natural and was the nature of the mind.]
My suggestion is always that whenever you have alternatives to choose, always choose the unknown, because the known you have already lived. The known is known, so you will be simply repeating.
Anand Parageet. Anand means bliss, para means transcendental, and geet means song - song of transcendental bliss, or song of transcendence.
[The ashram's cook says: Every day I just start crying, even when there's nothing wrong. I just have a lot of emotion there, and a whole spectrum of up and downs.]
There is nothing wrong in it - just enjoy it. It is good... just like a passing breeze.
If you feel like crying and you feel good afterwards, it is very therapeutic. In fact the best way is to cry for no reason at all. If there is some reason, it never flowers perfectly. The reason is there and it goes on nagging. It is never pure crying. But when there is no reason, you simply feel like it... you look at the moon and it is so beautiful that you feel like crying. Perfectly good.
You are just sitting doing nothing, and suddenly tears start filling the eyes... beautiful! We continuously condemn everything. If tears are there we condemn. What is wrong in tears? It is good, an unburdening.
If you enjoy crying, soon you will see that laughter starts coming in the same way. That also is very difficult. If suddenly you laugh for no reason at all, people will think you are mad. If you are crying for no reason at all, nobody will think you are mad. They will think that there must be some reason inside. But for laughter some outside reason is needed... nobody laughs for inner reasons. Laughter needs somebody else to be there to make a situation; a reference is needed.
If you cannot allow crying without any reason, you will never be able to allow laughter without any reason. When laughter comes out of nowhere, out of the blue... simply flowers in you uncaused, it is tremendously beautiful. It is holy, sacred.
And it can happen that you shift: for two minutes you are crying and for two minutes you are laughing, and again for two minutes you are crying. You will be afraid of what is happening and will wonder
if you are going mad. The wind can blow strong and then stop, and there is silence; then again it blows. Simply watch these things and become a witness... don't be disturbed and distracted or worry about what others will think.
I was reading a story the other day.
A man walked into a bar, ordered a drink, and proceeded to laugh out loud for about two minutes.
When all eyes were upon him, he abruptly stopped laughing and started crying and sobbing. After about two minutes of this, a smile came into his face and he again broke into uncontrollable laughter.
This was followed with another bout of crying. And then more laughter.
After about twenty minutes of alternate laughing and crying, he looked up at all the enquiring faces and said, 'Please forgive me, but my mother-in-law has just driven over a cliff in my new car!'
[A sannyasin says he is so much in love with his new girlfriend he rarely comes to the ashram, but still wonders if he should participate more in ashram activities.]
If you are continuously together in your room, sooner or later you will get fed up with each other.
This growth will not go on for very long. Soon you will grow like separate branches.
If you want to be together for a long time, don't be together too much. When people are in love, they are almost mad. They think this is sadhana and everything is perfect. Nonsense!
It is good but it cannot be a substitute for sadhana. It can be a help, it can be a hindrance, but it can never be a substitute for sadhana. And if you think it is a substitute, it will become a hindrance.
Soon you will feel lost in the desert.
Make it a help. It is good to be with the beloved - just enjoy being there but continue meditations, otherwise you will feel guilty. The guilt has a message. It is not wrong. It is simply saying that you also know what you are doing. It is a sort of infatuation, not a sadhana. Every man and woman fall into the trap, but sooner or later the honeymoon is over and the marriage starts, and then there are troubles.
This is not the first time you are feeling this. We go on committing the same error again and again.
With how many women have you felt this before?
[He answers: Osho, it never went this far. This is love... ]
It has always been this far. You may have forgotten, because the mind tends to forget situations.
That's why you can repeat Just think again, relive those moments and what you were saying to other women, and you will find yourself saying the same things to this woman.
And remember this time, because next time you will say again, 'This time, Osho, it is really wonderful.
That time I may have been wrong, but this time I am not.'
I am not saying that there is something wrong in love, but in being so infatuated you will soon get frustrated. If you really want to remain in love, then too much infatuation is not good. Move on plain
ground . .. be a little more practical. Look at the foolishness of the mind and the illusions it creates.
One day or other these illusions are shattered and then you are standing naked in the streets. Then everyone feels cheated, robbed, betrayed.
This is not only a question of you... it is everybody's question. So your heart knows it. When you come to the ashram and see people growing, doing this and that, meditating and flowering, you feel a jealousy arising; a guilt arises that you are not doing the right thing. I am not saying don't be in love. Be in love, but never make love an alternative to meditation; it is not.
Love and meditate - they are two different things. Some day a higher synthesis comes, but that day has not come yet. When love becomes meditation, meditation becomes love. That is very difficult to attain - only when all polarities dissolve.
This is a deep polarity - love and meditation. Meditation is happiness in your absolute aloneness; love is happiness with somebody else. In love, the other is important; in meditation, only you. Love is I and thou. Meditation is complete... getting out of the I-thou world. It is just being yourself - not even I.
Meditation is solitude, love is relationship. They are totally different; diametrically opposite. When people start moving into meditation, they start moving out of love. This I watch happening every day. When your love becomes a frustration, you come to me for meditation. Meditation is needed - one is feeling very unhappy. And when you start a love relationship, you simply forget all about meditation. You think of love as meditation.
Be balanced - both wings are needed. Love, meditate, and don't create a conflict between them.
When it is time to meditate, meditate. And there is enough time - twenty-four hours. I am not saying to meditate for twenty-four hours. Give just two hours for meditation; a few hours for love, and a few hours for other things in life.
Never make anything monotonous, otherwise sooner or later you will get fed up with it. That guilt has a message - don't try to get rid of it. Try and listen to the message... and start meditating.