Darshan 23 April 1976

[The divine healing group is present and gives a demonstration. Osho has spoken on healing recently, saying:]

The healer is not really a healer because he is not a doer. Healing happens through him; he has just to annihilate himself. To be a healer really means not to be. The less you are, the better healing will happen. The more you are, the more the passage is blocked. God, or the totality, or whatsoever you prefer to call it, is the healer. The whole is the healer.

An ill person is one who has simply developed blocks between himself and the whole, so something is disconnected. The function of the healer is to reconnect it. But when I say the function of the healer is to reconnect it, I don't mean that the healer has to do something. The healer is just a function. The doer is God, the whole.

... Healing becomes almost an experience of prayer, an experience of God, of love, of the whole.

[A sannyasin says: I have trouble with a continuous internal dialogue which gets particularly heavy at night when I'm trying to sleep. It's always been there, but since I've been in Poona I haven't slept for more than an hour each night.]

It could be due to the meditations. If something is there, it is aggravated, and then it is suppressed.

Ordinarily whenever we want to stop something, we try to fight it - that's wrong. When you want to stop a thing finish it. If something is there it must have a cause inside. Rather than repressing it, allow it.

Through allowing, it will disappear. It wants to communicate something to you. Your mind wants to talk to you. Something you have not been listening to, not caring about, have been indifferent to,

wants to relate to you. You may not be aware of what it wants to relate because you have always been fighting and thinking it is crazy, trying to stop it or convert it into something else. All diversions are sorts of repressions.

Do one thing. Every night before you go to sleep, for forty minutes sit facing the wall and start talking - talk loudly. Enjoy it... be with it. If you find that there are two voices, then talk from both of the sides. Give your support to this side, then answer from the other side, and see how you can create a beautiful dialogue.

Don't try to manipulate it; because you are not saying it for anybody. If it is going to be crazy, let it be. Don't try to cut anything or censor anything, because then the whole point is lost.

Do it for at least ten days and then tell me how you feel. For those forty minutes, in no way try to be against it. Just put your whole energy into it and within ten days something will surface which has been trying to tell you something but you have not listened; or which you were aware of but didn't want to listen to. Listen to it and then it is finished. Why so much inner dialogue? It cannot be unnecessary; there must be something in it. There is.

The whole of psychoanalysis is nothing but a bringing up of your dialogue. The psychoanalyst in fact does nothing; he simply sits at the back. The analysing is simply Lying on the couch uttering whatsoever comes to him. Freud called it 'free association' - whatsoever comes in the mind with no systematisation, no rationalisation. Even if one feels that it is almost insane, one has to say it. The psychoanalyst's presence makes you feel that somebody is listening, that's all. It is a very costly remedy - which you can do alone!

But there are people who will not be healed unless they pay for it, and pay tremendously. For years in and years out the patient goes on coming every week - twice, thrice a week - and for one hour goes on talking and talking and talking. When this whole inner talk is expressed, much is released; he feels good. He thinks he is feeling good because the psychoanalyst has done something. Nobody has done anything. The psychoanalyst has simply been a sympathetic ear. He has heard you, so you don't feel that you are talking to a wall.

In your life it is a problem. If you want to talk to your father, he is not ready to listen. If you want to talk to your mother, she is not ready to listen. Or if they are ready they have conditions on what should be talked about and what should not be talked about. They go on saying, 'You are perfectly free - say whatsoever you want,' but they have conditions that a few things are not to be told. In their eyes you can feel that they are insisting that you say only that which is allowed.

And even when they are listening, they are not listening. They have a thousand and one other things to do. You want to tell something to your wife and she is not listening. In fact if you start saying something a conflict arises. She starts reacting rather than listening She will not listen in the first place because she has her own things to say to you, and you are not ready to listen to her, because you have your own things. Both of you are boiling inside so much that nobody can just be a sympathetic listener.

I have heard a joke:

"The vacationing bartender's replacement proved to be a friendly, talkative type who seemed to have an inexhaustible store of jokes and witty sayings. But his chatter didn't seem to go over with the customers.

Finally the owner called the young bartender into his office. 'Kid,' he said, 'the thing for you to do is listen. Let the customers do the talking. If they wanted to listen, they'd go home in the first place."'

Nobody is ready to listen - that's why we need professional listeners. A psychoanalyst is nothing but a professional listener. In fact you are healed by your own talking.

So start this talking to the wall - and be totally in it. Keep the lights either off or very dim, mm?

If sometimes you feel like shouting and becoming angry in your talk, become angry and shout, because it will go deep only when it is done with feeling. If you are just on a head-trip and you go on repeating words like a dead tape, that won't help and the real thing won't surface.

Talk with feeling, with gestures... as if the other is present there. After near about twenty-five minutes you will warm up. The last fifteen minutes will be tremendously beautiful; you will enjoy it. After ten days you will see that by and by the inner talk is disappearing and you have come to understand a few things you have never understood about yourself.

[A sannyasin says: You were talking in the lecture about floating and I was aware that there was something for me in this, that I must proceed with this living in insecurity.

I'm so attached to the basics - just eating and smoking... I couldn't catch all that you were saying though.... ]

Soon you will understand... it is coming out. You have felt it - good. It is not clear but it will become clear. Just go on listening to me more attentively, mm? Things are going well.

When one has learned how to live in insecurity, insecurity disappears - and that is the only security in the world. In living through insecurity, insecurity disappears.

One cannot make life secure because that is not the nature of life. Insecurity is inbuilt in it, intrinsic to it, because life is change, continuous change. Security is possible if everything is permanent and nothing changes; everything is static. Life is dynamic, river-like. No other day is going to be the same again... no other moment is going to be the same. Everything will go on changing and changing and changing. If you try to become secure, the only way is to become almost dead. Life goes on changing but you remain static, almost frozen.

That's what people have done with their money, their power, prestige, this and that; they have become frozen. Life goes on changing but they don't change. That's what they call their security - but it is death, and a very ugly death at that.

The only way to find an attunement with life is to live life as it is without asking for any security. Soon you get in tune with insecurity without asking for any security. By and by you start enjoying it too...

you feel unburdened. Then suddenly you are secure because nobody can take your insecurity away from you! So just float. Whenever I feel that now you have lived insecurity enough, I will make you secure (chuckling). Don't be worried, mm?

[A sannyasin says: I've got a lot of rubbish in my mind... just floating thoughts.]

Mm... watch them. There is no need to become serious about them, to get identified with them.

They don't belong to you.

It happens sometimes that the thoughts of the person who is sitting by your side may be passing through you and you may have just caught them. Every mind is broadcasting and every mind is also receiving. The minds are both broadcasting and receiving stations simultaneously. So it is not your own rubbish; it is everybody else's also. It is a great exchange that goes on continuously between heads.

If you try to get rid of it you will be in trouble. Just don't pay much attention. Relax and accept it; it's okay.

[Osho said that as naturally as blood circulates in the body, so thoughts circulate in the mind, and that one should simply remain a watcher. Suddenly moments will come when there is no thought - and these gaps are tremendously blissful.

Fighting with a thought is useless; one needs just to let the mind do its thing... ]

Many times you will forget, but for that never repent. Laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

[The sannyasin replies: Yes, I always seem to be laughing but it still keeps coming.]

Then your laughter is not really laughter. You are serious. You say it is still coming - let it come!

Your laughter is also a sort of repression. In your laughter you are waiting for some sort of result:

'It should not come now - I am laughing; I am not serious. Now it should not come!' But this expectation that it should not come, makes you serious. Your laughter will become serious. It won't have that quality of laughter which I mean.

Laugh at the ridiculousness of it - that you know that it is useless and still you get into it! You know that it is almost mad, yet still you get into it. Don't laugh at the mind - laugh at yourself.

Soon the gaps will come, but they never come by fight; they always come by one being relaxed, watchful. It will happen....

[A sannyasin says: I'm just drinking beer all the time, and resisting. But I enjoy resisting. But there is something wrong in the mind.

His girlfriend said that they had a problem because of this. She wanted to do the encounter group, but he did not.]

He has done much good for you. It is difficult to be with [him], but you have been. It was a great challenge but you faced it. He is even feeling a little tired and [you are] not. That's something!

(laughter)

Never mention the Encounter group again. Whenever he says you can do it, you can, but that's for him to decide, mm? His fear is just part of love. Whatsoever he is afraid of can happen in a group, because a group is an opening and a dropping of all taboos.

So what he is saying is possible. The whole point of the group is that you relax completely.

Whatsoever happens in the moment, you live it. You don't follow some ideology, morality, immorality.

You just respond to the moment. You can say no, you can say yes, but the response has to come from the moment - not from your past ideas or future fears of what he will think or what others will say.

If you think that, an Encounter group will be useless because you are not part of the ongoing process of revealing yourself, becoming vulnerable. Try to understand his heart. Because he loves you he would not like you to be in a situation where something can happen that can destroy your relationship. But the fear is there because there is a possibility. He is aware that the relationship is not going very well. If it is going really well, there is no fear. So it shows love and fear both. He wants you to be with him, and he knows that the relationship is going in such a way that anything can become a divorce.

Doing a group is dangerous because you have to face the truth. If you are living in a relationship which is not happy and you are simply clinging to it, the group will bring you to the point where you realise that your relationship is an absolute burden, a load, and it is not helping your growth. It is killing you, poisoning your being, your whole system. If you understand that, it is possible that the relationship might drop; you may change your partner. Many relationships do drop after the group.

So his love is there and his fear is there. I am in support of his love but I am not in support of his fear.

[To the boyfriend] If you are afraid, do something.

... Firstly, there is no point in continuous fighting and conflict, because we are together with somebody to be happy, to share happiness, not to share misery and pain.

I am not saying that there are not moments of pain. In the best of relationships there are moments when there is pain, but those are rare moments and they don't destroy the relationship. On the contrary they bring a little salt to it; .they make it more tasteful. They give variety to it.

But if it is a continuous fight and misery, then drop out of it. Take the courage and say, 'What is the point of being together? I make you unhappy; you make me unhappy. We are not in this world just to be unhappy.'...

[A sannyasin who is returning to the West said he felt he had had his fill of active meditation, and now he should simply be in a state of waiting. He also expressed doubt as to whether he should ask questions, or remain with them.]

It is a right understanding, absolutely right. It will happen in waiting. Doing is not a question. If you have been a doer, then doing has to be dropped absolutely... only waiting.

And there is no need to be worried about questions. They will disappear. They are never solved, but when your consciousness rises a little higher, they disappear. The basic thing is how to raise the consciousness a little higher from the plane it is on right now.

It is as if you see a dream, a nightmare in the night, that somebody is sitting on your chest or you are burdened with a rock or thrown into an abyss. You are worried, burdened with questions, and you scream.

Then you awake and your eyes are open... the dream is gone. With the dream, all the problems of the dream are also gone. It is not that now you have to solve them. Now it is a different consciousness. You are awake, so that the problems that were there when you were asleep are simply not there.