Darshan 15 April 1976

[To a sannyasin who said he was studying Yoga but had never done any groups, Osho recommended he do some groups, saying that otherwise Yoga could make one very repressed.... ]

Yoga is good, but something more is needed. Alone, it has crippled the whole country. This country has suffered too much.

It creates a very stiff, structured being. Very good as far as society is concerned. Society can rely on such people, trust them; they will never harm anybody. They will be innocent as far as the outside is concerned, but they will harm themselves; they will destroy themselves. Somehow they will become suicidal.

So these three things are necessary. Hatha Yoga is good in order to have a very disciplined being.

Encounter, marathon, and groups like that are good to cleanse your being. And then above those two a continuous awareness is needed so you don't get into the same mud-holes again. Otherwise, howsoever you are cleaned, it makes no difference.

In India they call it the way of the elephant. The elephant goes and takes a bath in the river and then come out and throws dirt on himself. He simply forgets. But this is how the mind functions.

Sometimes you are tired and you meditate and feel good. Sometimes you join in a few groups, and many things are released and relaxed. And once out of it, you again start throwing dust on yourself.

[A visitor who had been involved in Arica and had studied Hatha Yoga, said that he felt he was stuck.

Osho checked his energy.]

Something has to be done with your love energy.

Love and meditation are just like two wings, and if love is stuck, meditation is stuck. If meditation is stuck, then love will be stuck. They go together. So one has to be very delicately balancing.

There are people who have moved in love but they don't know anything about meditation - then love is going to be frustrating. One way or other they will feel that it has turned simply into a hell, or at the most, just a comfortable life, but nothing valuable: nothing one should live or die for. It has not given any meaning, any substance. One day one feels empty.

Love gives much turmoil, excitement, thrill - and in the end you have empty hands if it is not joined with meditation. This happens almost always - that when a person is frustrated with love, he becomes interested in meditation. Then he avoids love because he is fed up with it so much and he just wants to meditate. That too is not going to fulfill you. It may give you a silence, a stillness, but that stillness will be something dead. It will not throb with life... because without love, nothing throbs. Love is the very beat, the pulse; everything pulsates with it.

So my whole effort here is how to give you both. Otherwise both are lopsided and create a sort of imbalance. You have to sort out your love affair, otherwise that will work like a load and you will not be able to soar high in meditation. It is the same energy that has to soar high, and if it is loaded with anxiety, conflict, trouble, then it is not overflowing and it cannot soar high.

And the second thing - about your meditation. Arica is a very good technique but only a beginning.

I have never come across a man yet who has come to any fulfillment through it. It begins ... and the word arica is good - it means the door. But it is only the door. You can enter through it but you cannot reach anywhere. Good - it introduces a new world to you - but if you are caught by the door and you cling to the door, you will not be able to go deeper.

And it is very structured... too much technique. Maybe that's why it is so appealing to the american mind. The american mind is now one of the most addicted to technology - material or spiritual, it makes no difference. But technology has a certain magnetic force for the american mind. Arica is just technique - and that too, not very synthetic - eclectic. One thing from one place, another from another place... hotch-potch.

It is good that you were in it... it has prepared you for something. And there are many schools in the world who simply prepare people for something else. Even the leaders who are working in those groups, leading those schools, may not be aware that they are simply preparing for somebody else.

So now you have to make a very unstructured life ... more spontaneous. And meditation should not be made a technique. I will give you a meditation that you can start doing. Have you heard about Subud?

[Osho described latihan meditation - which is part of the evening meditation done at the ashram, and which sannyasins also do as an individual meditation.

Osho told him to stand in a room with the light off, to close his eyes, and to imagine that energy was being poured into him from above and he was becoming possessed He said he would probably experience some bodyjerks - and he should allow them and not resist. The idea is to let oneself go, to not do anything... ]

... because once the doer enters, you will not be able to unstructure completely. It is as if God - if you have any trust in God - or life, or the whole... as if a drop of water is being caught by the ocean and churned... or a leaf in a strong wind. A godly wind blowing and you are just a leaf.

It will break many layers in you. Your body will feel loose, and much will loosen inside also. Do it for at least ten days, for twenty minutes. And just after feeling for two or three minutes, it starts. It is already; it is just that we have never left ourselves in the hands of the whole. We are always trying to go upstream. Just go with the river.

[A sannyasin said that he had always felt a negativity which was connected with his deep envy of people who could love. In reply to a query from Osho, he said he was envious of the babies and liked the idea of being at a mother's breast.]

Something went wrong with your mother. The relationship with your mother somehow misfired.

Deep down you are hankering for a mother, and because the mother frustrated you, you have a hatred for women. Now this is an ambiguous situation: a desire to be mothered, and a hatred for women because the mother frustrated you. So there is a contradiction in your energy. You would like to come close to a woman but the fear that you may be frustrated again, closes you. This fear has to be dropped. It will be difficult for you to drop it, but through a group it will become easy. A group gives you a situation, a special situation which is not possible in ordinary life. So it may be difficult in the beginning; the first two, three days, may be very hard for you. But if you can pass through these two, three days, you will start flowering. By the end you will be able to make a few contacts with some women in the group. You will be able to find a mother in the group.

Once a woman can take you dose and you can feel again like a small baby and again secure, then the relationship with your own mother that has been broken will be erased. That wound will be healed. Once that wound is healed you will become available to women and women will become available to you, so there will be no problem.

Then you will not be seeking a mother. That's why I insisted in asking how you feel about breasts, because if a man is attracted too much towards the breast, it simply shows that he has not yet become mature. And almost ninety percent of men are attracted too much.

Almost the whole of humanity is immature. If you are attracted too much by the breast, that shows you are seeking a mother; not a beloved but a mother. And to seek a mother is to a different than to seek a beloved. If you are seeking a mother you will be frustrated by every woman, because she is seeking a lover, not a son. She would like to have a son through you, but not you. She is seeking a lover and you are seeking a mother, so somewhere, sometime or other, the conflict is going to arise.

You would like her to mother you, to surround you, to give you her sympathy - that's her milk. You are not asking for love, you are asking for sympathy, you are asking to be cared for, and no woman will be able to do that. Or if some woman is also seeking a child then maybe you will fit. But then too it is going to be frustrating because you are now mature. Your body is mature, and it is just that the wound from childhood has not allowed the mind to float with the body, to flow with the body. They are in different states; they are not together.

So if you can find a woman who can mother you,. then your body will feel frustrated. Your mind will feel very good, but the body will feel frustrated. Your mind has to be made contemporary to the

body. The other way is not possible; your body cannot be forced back and made contemporary to the mind. But the mind can be brought up... it can grow. Sometimes it can grow in a single moment of awareness. In a single understanding, it can jump years. It is already ready.

So do a few groups, mm? And every night before you go to sleep, find a bottle, a milk bottle for children, and put it into your mouth. Curl up like a small child, and then start sucking the breast.

[Osho said he should do this each night and then again first thing in the morning just for four or five minutes, using warm milk... ]

Something deep down will be satisfied.

Psychologists say that people smoke because it is a substitute breast. The smoke goes in warm, like the milk, and the cigarette functions like a breast, a nipple. It is a very dangerous substitute - that's why I say a bottle of milk will be better. Cigarettes will disappear from the world once the relationship between children and their mothers is transformed... becomes more of love and understanding.

But right now it cannot be helped. Nobody is responsible. The mothers are as much conditioned by their mothers and fathers, and so it goes on and on. But if you become alert, it can be changed.