[The Primal therapy group is present. Osho asks the leader for comments. The leader says it was a very soft group, influenced by a new co-leader. He then asks about a personal problem.]
Mm! First you talk about the group, mm? and when you want to talk about yourself, come separately - always remember this!
[The therapist says: This is in relation to the group.]
It is nothing to do with the group, mm? it has something to do with you. So whenever you want to talk about yourself, come separately. That is more helpful to the group.
If the groupleader starts talking about his own problems he loses much in the eyes of the group, and then they cannot think how he can help them. It becomes more difficult for them to work with you and to work according to you.
And there is no problem - even a person who has problems can help others, even an ill person can help an ill person, but it is better if the doctor doesn't start talking about his illness in front of the patient. Sometimes a doctor who has suffered from the same illness may even be more helpful to the patient than any other doctor, because he knows more about the illness from his deepest core.
But if the patient is suffering from diabetes and he comes to know that the doctor himself is suffering from diabetes, he will think 'It is better to go somewhere else.' Then the doctor is no longer credible, he cannot be relied upon.
So your problems are your problems. Naturally your problems affect the group, but that has also to be learned. A groupleader has to learn many things, and the most difficult thing is that he should put aside his own problems. When he is a groupleader he should function as if he has no problems.
And you will be surprised - if you can function as if you have no problems, you will find that you don't have any problems!
Because all problems are make-believe - you believe in them, that's why they are there. It is an auto-hypnosis: you go on repeating a problem again - that you are this way, you are inadequate and you are not capable. You repeat this, it becomes a mantra - it goes on sinking into your heart and it becomes reality.
At least in the group put aside your problems, function as if you have no problems, and suddenly you will see that you have a totally different quality: you don't have any problems.
And that may be very helpful for your own problems also. If you can see this happening, then it is up to you once out of group you take up the problems again or you drop them forever.
A problem can be dropped so easily if you understand that it is you who is holding the problem, not the problem holding you. But we cannot live without problems, so we go on creating them. One feels so alone being without problems - there is nothing left to be done. What to do? With the problem you feel very happy - something has to be done ar d you have to think about It: it gives you occupation.
So let this be a rule, not only for you but for other groupleaders also. In fact no other groupleader is doing this; that's why I am saying this to you. When they come with the group they talk about the group and the problems of the group. If they need some help for themselves they can come separately, mm?
Of course you can help in spite of all your problems. All people who are helping are helping with all their limitations. Do you think that Freud had no psychological problems? He became the founder of psychoanalysis and really helped millions of people - one of the greatest benefactors of humanity - but he had problems. In fact if he had gone to a psychoanalyst he would have been given all the labels that psychoanalysis can give; he had all the problems!
He was fortunate that he had not to go through psychoanalysis. He was the only psychoanalyst unanalysed. Of course he could not be analysed, but he had all the problems.
You have all the problems that all humanity has: unless you transcend your humanity, you don't transcend your limitations.
This continuous idea that you are inadequate and you are incapable and you are this and that - this too is basically very egoistic. You want to be very adequate, but why? You want to be really tremendously capable, but why? Why can't you be satisfied with all the inadequacies and limitations that are there?
Once you accept them you will see that you are starting to flow more easily And your work is going well, you are helping people; there is no doubt about it. Your help can become even deeper, but just put aside your problems in the group.
And next time when you have some problem, come separately.
[A group member, who is a visiting journalist, says: I've been afraid of opening. I know I hold on very tight but I want to let go.]
Mm mm.... If you want, it can happen very easily, there is no problem in it. Life is really very simple and very uncomplicated - we make it complicated. If you want to open, if you want to relax and be in a let-go, there is nothing that is barring the way, there is nothing like an obstacle, there is no china wall around you. Maybe that is the fear: you know that it can happen.
... The only way to get out of the fear is to let it happen, because once it has happened you will be simply surprised that there was nothing to fear. It was so beautiful - why were you afraid? But the mind is afraid of the unknown and the only way not to be afraid is to make it known!
Otherwise the mind continues being afraid, continues being afraid, and it creates so much fear - all futile, much ado about nothing, unnecessary fuss. It creates so many clouds of fear that one is simply paralysed and cannot move.
So just take a step; become a sannyasin! And it is better to take this step while you are with closed eyes. Close your eyes, mm? it is a blind man's step!
[Osho gives him sannyas, and he begins to cry.]
Good! come here! Allow - if something happens in the body energy, allow it.
That nightmare is over! Now there will be no fear, mm?
[The new sannyasin says he wishes to return to the West to tell his parents the many things he didn't say to them before.]
You can go but there is no hurry. It is better to go in a more calm and quiet and collected state - that state is coming. Just going won't help. Going in a totally different space, with a new energy, with more love, with more contentment - that's your name - will be helpful, mm? Then one can relate to one's parents.
That is the most difficult thing in the world: to relate to one's own parents. To forgive them is one of the most difficult things, because they have given birth to you - how can you forgive them?
Unless you start loving yourself, unless you come to a state where you are thrilled by your being - how can you thank them before that? It is impossible. You will be angry - they have given birth to you and they didn't even ask you. They have created this horrible person, this nauseous being But you hate. Why should you suffer because they decided to birth to a child? You were not a party to it. Why have you been dragged into the world? So, the rage.
If you come to a point where you can love yourself, when you feel really ecstatic that you are, where your gratefulness knows no limitation, then suddenly you feel great love arising for your parents.
They have been the doors for you to enter into existence. Otherwise this ecstasy would not have been possible - they have made it possible.
Only then is there a new relationship. Otherwise each society in the world has been training children to be respectful to the parents, because each society knows that if the children are not conditioned to be respectful they will kill their parents!
[Osho says that on the surface one might show respect but underneath one continues to hate them.]
But if you can celebrate your being - and that is the whole purpose of my work here, to help you to celebrate your being - then suddenly you can feel your gratitude for parents, their compassion, their love. You can not only forgive them, you can feel tremendously grateful, you can bow down at their feet. Once you can love your parents, there is god - never before it.
And it is not just accidental that god is called 'the father', it is not just accidental. Or in some countries god is called 'the mother' - it is not just accidental.
When you have come to know your father and your mother and you have loved them, suddenly the whole existence becomes fatherly and motherly. It is through your father and mother that you will know that existence is not aloof, it is not indifferent to you - it cares, it loves you; you are not just accidental.