Become a part of the family
[A sannyasin who is a teacher says she gets angry with her students. No, we will take it away, promises Osho. The problem is not with the students - it is with you. The expectations create trouble, and teachers down the ages have enforced things; now they can't do that.
Drop the expectations! Children are children - they are not dead: they are the most alive people on the earth. We are going to destroy them sooner or later; all the teachers together are going to destroy them. Children are more oppressed than any other class of people because they are so helpless: they cannot even rebel.... ]
I was also a teacher for many years... but a different kind of teacher. My children were absolutely free to do whatsoever they wanted to do. If they shouted, I would join them! Why should I be just standing there? Then they would become silent because that is... they could not believe what was happening! If they laughed, I would laugh. I would tell them so many jokes that they would say, 'Stop, sir! Our bellies will burst! You make us laugh so much that we start crying!'
I was turned out from one college because so many students who were not my students would come to attend my class... but my doors were open. It was a crowded class, and students from other classes would come. The principal was of course angry and the other professors were angry and they said 'This is not right. Our classes are empty and people are there and they make so much noise! It is such a celebration - what is going on? And why do you allow people who are not your students?'
Just be here and just look into your problems, into your expectations, into your ego trips, into your obsessions and into the ideas that have been put into your mind, for which you have been conditioned.
Once they are dropped one cannot find a better job than being a teacher. Otherwise it is very ugly:
if you cannot drop these things I will tell you to get out of it, to do something else that you can love and with which you are not angry. But first we will try - if you can drop these things... and these can be dropped. I can see that you are a perfect person - you can see things clearly; you have just not been courageous enough to drop them.
Once you see that the children are victims of the society, the family, the teachers, you will love them; you will feel much compassion for them: you will be for them and with them! You will become part of them, and once you are part of them you will see how much they can love you. Nobody has really been there to whom they can show their love and their respect, and they have great reverence in their minds, in their hearts, but nobody seems to be worthy.
Your old teacher has to go, and that old teacher is not good - it is making you disturbed and it is making those children also worried because when a teacher is angry, students cannot feel good.
They also feel guilty that they are making you angry, that they are doing something wrong, that they should not be doing such things.
You are creating the guilt feeling in them: you are getting angry and they are becoming guilty, and this is how all neuroses arise. Our schools, our colleges, our universities, are breeding grounds for neuroses.
But I will make you a different kind of teacher. Mm? just be here!
[Osho suggests groups for her and she says she did Encounter in the West, and Tantra with Y - .]
No, but here it will be totally different... you don't know what it is here, mm? Just the name is the same - the quality is totally different!...
What can Y - know about tantra? Nothing!...
He may know something about yoga but nothing about tantra... and both are such different approaches - yoga and tantra - antagonistic, diametrically opposite.
But in the West it is happening - anybody who goes from the East knows everything, mm? And it is so simple to become a master in the West. Just to be an Indian is enough to be a master - nothing else is needed; that is enough qualification, mm? I know many masters!
Book for these two and then we will see, mm? Good!
[A sannyasin says that he doesn't really enjoy sex but does enjoy meditating. Should he only meditate he wonders, or does he have to go into relationships and work on his sexuality? Osho checks his energy.]
Good! You need not be worried about sex - you can by-pass it; you are really finished with it. It will be a drag on you and it will be a wastage of energy.
I can understand your problem because in this life it seems too early to be finished with sex, but in your past life something has happened so that you are already finished with it. You can go into sex but that going will not be joy; it will be a kind of work.
You can go into it through will - but when you go through will, sex has no joy in it, no delight in it, and afterwards you will feel very very exhausted. You will have headaches, will feel frustration, body aches, and for two, three days you will not feel good; for two, three days, you will fee that something is missing... you will remain disoriented.
Simply by-pass it - that is not for you. Put your whole energy into meditation. It is perfectly right, this is the right time to go into meditation.
You are born old... but that's very good! There are a few people who are not old even when they are ninety - they are really pitiable. It is perfectly good. Good.
[A sannyasin says she finds it really hard to be here... near to Osho. Osho checks her energy.]
Good. Nothing is a problem - this is natural: this is going to happen to everybody who is really going to stay here forever! This is a natural resistance of the mind. The mind tries hard to drag you away and you know you cannot go; even if you go, you will have to come back. So there is a conflict inside:
one part understands perfectly well that this is your home; another part that is not yet relaxed, not yet with me - a very minor part, nothing to be worried about - goes on trying to pull you away. Once you start understanding it, it will disappear.
Start doing something in the ashram, start working - that will help. Become more a part of the family... that's what is needed.
And soon we will be moving to a bigger place and many people will be needed for many things, so start working a little, mm? Find some work and start. Good.