Darshan 23 July 1978

Fri, 24 July 1978 00:00:00 GMT
Book Title:
Don't Look Before You Leap
Chapter #:
pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
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Deva means divine, amito means limitless, infinity, unbounded - divine unboundedness. And that's how existence is. All limitations are our imagination, because things are not separate; things are parts of each other. You see the tree - it seems so separate standing there alone in the field; it is not. Its roots are in the earth, it is part of the earth. Its roots are joined with all the oceans; that's its nourishment, its life. Its leaves are connected with the faraway sun; without the sun it will not live even for a single moment... and so on, so forth. If you look deep into a small tree, you will find the whole existence involved in it.

So the separation is just our concept. Nothing is separate, neither is man separate. You cannot exist alone, not even for a single moment. If one meditates deeply on it, then one will not say 'I am.' Only god can say 'I am', only the whole can say 'I am.' No part has the right to use the word 'I'. If you cannot exist alone, what claim have you ? If you are joined together and you exist only in relationship, then you are not an entity but a relationship; you are not you. Your wife is involved in it, your child is involved in it; your mother is involved in it, your father is involved in it. The earth, the moon, the sun, the sky, and all the past, the whole past - not only yours but that of the whole existence - is involved in you... and not only the past but the whole of the future too. You are just a crossroad; millions of lines are crossing on you. Because so many lines are criss-crossing on you, you look like a centre. Take those lines away and you will disappear, evaporate.

That's how Buddha came to see nothingness in himself, no-self in himself. And that's the ultimate understanding: to see 'I am not. I am only a relationship. I am a father to somebody, I am a son to somebody, I am a husband to somebody, a lover to somebody, a friend, this and that - all these relationships criss-crossing giving me an illusion that I am.' Take relationships away one by one and you start disappearing.

Man is like an onion: go on peeling his layers and ultimately nothing is left in your hand. But that

nothing is you, and that nothing is all, and that nothing is unboundedness, the infinity. That zero contains all - all the cosmoses that have been, and all the worlds that will be.

That is the meaning of amito and this is going to be your meditation: look into things but always try to find the infinite in them. Slowly slowly the idea of things disappears and there are only events, processes; you are also an event, a process, and interdependent.

That interdependence is freedom - freedom from the self, freedom from the ego, and once the ego is gone one is unburdened. Then there is no death, because there is nobody to die, there is no failure, because there is nobody to fail; there is no frustration because there is nobody to be frustrated. All anguish is a shadow of the ego.

Shunya means nothingness, zero, non-being; unmada means delirious joy, mad joy, an explosion of joy, uncontrollable. You cannot possess it; it possesses you. The full name will mean the delirious joy of non-being.

The greatest moment in one's life is to see 'I am not.' It looks very strange. Ordinarily we think the greatest moment will be when one finds that one is; it's not so. If you find that you are, you will be limited. You will have a demarcation around you, you will be confined. Any kind of self is going to be a kind of imprisonment. You will be encaged; and when one is encaged one cannot have joy. Joy is a function of absolute freedom. And the absolute freedom is not freedom of the self; but freedom from the self.

Ordinarily we go on searching for a freedom that is for the self: 'I want to be free' - this is the worldly search. Hence people desire money because that will make them more free. Prestige, power - they will make you more free, you will be less limited, you will have a little longer rope. The prison can become bigger but it doesn't disappear. The prison can be so big that you cannot even see the walls that surround you, but still it is a prison.

The real search starts the day one understands this - that if one is, then one is going to remain a prisoner. Only if 'I' is not found will there be unlimited freedom. Then the whole existence is one's existence, because one is not. One is no more a part but the whole. And there is no distinction between oneself and the reality, there is no boundary line.

In the East this state is called nirvana: the ultimate state where all is extinguished completely, like a candle that has gone out. Then great joy arises. Not that you are joyous - you are no more; there is only joy. Not that you are joyous but you are joy. That joy is called unmada - it is a special name for that. It is very maddening. When it happens to a person the person starts overflowing. Not only does that person become joyous; in him, through him, the whole existence attains a new kind of release a new freedom, a new joy. One step more towards celebration has been taken.

And this happens sometimes in ordinary life too, but only for flickering moments. Seeing a beautiful sunset you disappear and you are not there only the sunset is. The watcher is not there; the observer and the observed have become one. You are the sunset; the seer is the seen. In that moment there is great joy. That's why we say 'This is so beautiful, incredibly beautiful.' Beauty is incredible, unbelievable, when you are not... Or sometimes in love one disappears. We call those states orgasmic. In fact all that happens is: the ego disappears for a moment. Suddenly you are one with reality. Nothing is standing between you and the whole. This happens to a person who has been going deeper and deeper into his being so utterly, so totally, that it is never lost again.

In ordinary life these moments come and go - they become beautiful memories, to be preserved in albums... but that's all. Sooner or later they fade, become so far away from your so-called real life that you cannot even believe that they had really happened. Maybe you had dreamed-about them.

Perhaps you had hallucinated. The mind starts doubting.

Unmada is the total orgasmic state. And once it has happened, it has happened forever. One remains in it because one is no more, one cannot get out of it because one is no more. It is as if you have put a sugar cube in the tea and it has disappeared - you cannot take it out.

Man is miserable, but that is his own doing. He is not born to be miserable; intrinsically, he is made for joy, for bliss. But that remains a potential to many people, and only a potential; it never becomes an actuality. People carry the seeds and die as seeds. That is the anguish of man, the agony.

Unless the seed sprouts and becomes a big tree and invites many birds to sing and winds to dance around it, unless the tree blooms in colour and in fragrance, there cannot be any fulfillment.

Flowering is fulfillment. The flower is only a symbol of fulfillment.

But millions of people simply die without ever being fulfilled, and nobody is responsible except themselves.

To be initiated into sannyas is to be initiated into this possibility. From this moment onwards, remember that you are creating your misery. Once this sinks in - 'I am creating my misery' - a great step has already been taken, because if you are creating it, you can stop creating it, you can drop it. And in its very dropping bliss explodes - as if a rock has been removed and the fountain starts flowing. The spring is ready to flow but we go on creating the rock of misery; we go on adding something and more and more to it.

The name will remind you. This is your future, this is your potential.

Right now it is only a hope, but if you work, it can become a fulfillment. And I say to you that it is easy to fulfill it, because it is natural; it is not something far away from you that you have to seek and search for. It is already in you - it just needs expression, a right atmosphere, a climate to nourish it.

Sannyas is that climate. It is an effort to create a certain vibe around you so that you can start pulsating in a new way.

[A sannyasin asks: I feel I don't know how to love like a tree.]

You need not love like a tree. You are not a tree - you are a woman... and you need to love like a woman! It will be very difficult for me to teach you how to love like a tree. Don't create unnecessary troubles for me! Just be a simple ordinary woman and that is perfectly beautiful!

Para means transcendental, gyan means wisdom - transcendental wisdom. There is a wisdom that descends from the above. You can only be at the receiving end. All that you can do is to remain open for it, welcoming, ready to receive like a womb. One has to become a womb for it.

Science is male activity. It is aggressive: it goes in active search of knowledge. Religion is female activity. Hence its beauty, softness, roundness, its delicateness. One has simply to wait. One has to be silent and still, certainly, because that is the only way to be open and waiting.

When the moment is ripe, it happens. It is not your doing - it is a grace; it comes from god. That's why in the old scriptures it has been called revelation. That is exactly the meaning of paragyan: it is revealed to you - not that you uncover it; it comes of its own accord... a gift, a grace.

So become mote and more passive. That's what meditation is all about: sitting silently, just sitting, doing nothing, waiting for the unknown to come... waiting with great love, longing and patience...

waiting as if it is going to come this very moment, but yet ready to wait even if it comes in eternity.

That is the paradox of a longing trust, a waiting heart.

[A sannyasin says: I just don't get along with anybody. I don't know now if I should just accept it and stay on my own or if I should confront it.... I can't find any relaxation in sleeping. I wake up and I'm really scared and off centre.]

There are people who are morning people and there are people who are evening people, and my feeling is that in the morning you will not feel good after sleep, but by the evening you feel good. The night will be beautiful; before you go to sleep things will be perfect, you will be in tune.

There are people who don't feel good in the night but in the morning they feel very good. These are the two categories and everybody has to accept it; one time can be good and one will not be so good. This is the inner biological clock, these are the two polarities. At one polarity you will feel dull, insipid, dead, dragging, and at the other you will feel vibrant, alive, ready to dance. These are the two polarities of your energy - just like day and night. So don't be worried about it; accept it.

Once you accept it, a few things can be done. Always go to sleep late in the night - don't go early; twelve o'clock at least. And don't get up early in the morning - there is no need, because the morning is not going to be very good for you. But go to bed late. Use your night time more because that will be more creative. You can read, you can create music, paint, whatsoever you want; but your energy will be more flowing in the night, so use that time. And don't be bothered about the morning.

You can have a good rest in the morning, sleep, then take a good shower, swim, and then when you are out of your sleep and out of that other polarity, you will feel good.

This has to be accepted; this cannot be changed. Once you understand that this has to be accepted, then the only question is how to use your energies. Whenever your energy is flowing, use it.

People go on creating unnecessary troubles for themselves. For example somebody wants to get up early in the morning. He feels tired the whole day but he insists, and he will feel tired for his whole life if he insists, because those inner clocks cannot be changed. They are absolute - they are in-born, built-in. They are in your very cells - you cannot change them; there is no way, not yet.

Some day maybe, when inner cells can be changed scientifically, things will be changed, but they cannot be changed otherwise. A person can struggle to get up early in the morning and feel good for his whole life because others say it is so incredible, so beautiful. But he will always miss. He will not see any beauty because his own inner being will be at the other pole - dark, dull. How can he see the beauty of the sunrise and the birds singing ? In fact they appear as if they are mocking him or something.

You should accept your inner clock, and then you can use your time in a better way. There are moments when you are flowing; then much can be done.

It has been found that our examination system is unjust to many people. For example, if the examination is in the morning, it is unjust to the people who are evening people. It is good for the morning people - they will be at their peak - but the evening people will be at their lowest; they will unnecessarily be losers. This is not right, not a scientific system. A person should be able to choose when he wants to be examined - whether in the morning or in the evening.

So simply start using your night more and more and you will be very happy - one thing. The second thing: this may be the cause of the first problem. If you are not in tune with yourself you cannot relate with people. That is simple. If you cannot relate with yourself, how can you relate with others? The first relationship is with you; on that relationship every other relationship depends. If you are feeling good inside, you will be more communicative, more easy, more light, able to see the good side of things, ready to go with the other with no reluctance. If you are not feeling in tune with yourself - you are somehow dragging yourself - how can you relate with somebody? He will also feel that you are dragging. Your love affair will also be a drag.

So the first thing has to be settled and that will settle the second thing. The first relationship is to be in tune with oneself, to relate with oneself joyously, and then everything else follows easily.

Remember: if you are joyous, people will fall in love with you more, because people want to fall in love with joy, not with sadness. Who wants to be with somebody who is sad? For what? He himself can be sad on his own. What is the need to go with you and be sad? That much he can do by himself, that he is efficient in doing. When he is alone he is sad enough. Why should he go with you? There is no reason - unless you can take him out of his sadness, unless you can transform his energy. Unless you can give him a totally different vision of life he will not go with you, or there will be only a lingering relationship for a few days and then everything flops.

So first get settled with yourself and then don't worry about that. Remember you are a night person; enjoy your nights more. Even if you want to relate with people, relate in the night, not in the morning.

Go with friends in the night; in the morning rest, be alone, but there is no need to go with people.

Go with people when you are really celebrating. Then things happen... then they start celebrating.

And when you enhance somebody's joy, the relationship pays him, and he wants to relate more with you. Become an enhancer!

[A sannyasin couple are leaving; the man says he's feeling nervous. Osho checks their energy together.]

Don't be worried - I will take care of your nervousness. There is nothing to be worried about. It is just that in going away from my energy-field one feels nervous. It is like uprooting a tree from one place and taking it to another. You are not aware of what nourishment you are getting here. But this is good to sometimes go away from me; it helps you to stand on your feet. And I want you to be independent. I want to support you only so you can be independent.

This is a very delicate matter. It is just like bringing up a child. The mother has to protect the child, but not too much, otherwise the child will never grow a spine. But the child has not to be left unprotected too much either; otherwise he will never feel at home in the world. It is very delicate to keep exactly in the middle - neither too much protection nor too much unprotection; to strike a balance is very difficult. And it differs with every individual; with each sannyasin I have to function in a different way. People are different - their needs are different.

So I can understand why you are feeling nervous, but it is good. And next time when you come, you will come closer to me. Just going there will bring you closer to me. This is one of the paradoxes of life - that the more independent you are, the more surrendered you can become.

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13. I will give you some proverbs and sayings about the Jews by simple Russian
people. You'll see how subtle is their understanding, even without reading the
Talmud and Torah, and how accurate is their understanding of a hidden inner
world of Judaism.

Zhids bark at the brave, and tear appart a coward.

Zhid is afraid of the truth, like a rabbit of a tambourine.

Even devil serves a Zhid as a nanny.

When Zhid gets into the house, the angels get out of the house.

Russian thief is better than a Jewish judge.

Wherever there is a house of a Zhid, there is trouble all over the village.

To trust a Zhid is to measure water with a strainer.

It is better to lose with a Christian, than to find with a Zhid.

It is easier to swallow a goat than to change a Zhid.

Zhid is not a wolf, he won't go into an empty barn.

Devils and Zhids are the children of Satan.

Live Zhid always threatens Russian with a grave.

Zhid will treat you with some vodka, and then will make you an alcoholic.

To avoid the anger of God, do not allow a Zhid into your doors.

Zhid baptized is the same thing as a thief forgiven.

What is disgusting to us is a God's dew to Zhid.

Want to be alive, chase away a Zhid.

If you do not do good to a Zhid, you won't get the evil in return.

To achieve some profit, the Zhid is always ready to be baptized.

Zhid' belly gets full by deception.

There is no fish without bones as there is no Zhid without evil.

The Zhid in some deal is like a leech in the body.

Who serves a Zhid, gets in trouble inevitably.

Zhid, though not a beast, but still do not believe him.

You won+t be able to make a meal with a Zhid.

The one, who gives a Zhid freedom, sells himself.

Love from Zhid, is worse than a rope around your neck.

If you hit a Zhid in the face, you will raise the whole world.

The only good Zhid is the one in a grave.

To be a buddy with a Zhid is to get involved with the devil.

If you find something with a Zhid, you won't be able to get your share of it.

Zhid is like a pig: nothing hurts, but still moaning.

Service to a Zhid is a delight to demons.

Do not look for a Zhid, he will come by himself.

Where Zhid runs by, there is a man crying.

To have a Zhid as a doctor is to surrender to death.

Zhid, like a crow, won't defend a man.

Who buys from a Zhid, digs himself a grave.