Darshan 6 July 1978

Fri, 6 July 1978 00:00:00 GMT
Book Title:
Don't Look Before You Leap
Chapter #:
pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Archive Code:
Short Title:
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Anand means bliss, salama means peace. Bliss can have two expressions: either it can be an ecstasy, overflowing, or it can be silence, peace, stillness. If bliss flows outward it is ecstatic. If it simply remains in then it is peace, and peace is a higher state than ecstasy. Even if one has attained to ecstatic joy, one has to go one step more, because one cannot remain in ecstasy forever; it tires.

All kinds of excitement are tiring; although this is spiritual excitement, still it tires. It can't become a permanent state; you cannot live in it forever - you will have to rest.

But one can be in peace forever, so that seems to be more natural. Sufis are ecstatic - they dance, they sing. Buddha sits silently. There is no visible dance, there is no visible song, but there is utter peace. Even dance has been transcended. Even song has disappeared into silence.

So the dance that dances not is the highest, and the song that remains silent is the greatest - that is the song of the songs. But one has to begin with ecstasy. The right procedure is to begin with great ecstasy - dance, song, expression - and then slowly slowly to let all disappear into bliss.

Prem means love, azima means great - great love. The small love is a bargain; the great love is a sheer gift. The small love is always trying to get more than it gives; the great love simply gives with no idea of getting anything back. When love is small it is always conflict, because two parties are continuously haggling, bargaining, trying to give less and get more; hence the constant conflict between lovers. It is not because of love, it is because of the small love. The small love is only love for the name's sake.

The great love only knows giving. Not that nothing comes back - a thousandfold it comes back, a million-fold it comes back, but that is not the motivation. If it comes it is a surprise to the great lover; if it doesn't come there is no grudge. If it comes it always comes as a surprise, because one was not waiting for it. If it doesn't come there is no question, because one was not waiting for it; nothing has

gone wrong. There is never frustration with great love. With great love there is always fulfillment, always and always. The small love continuously leads one into frustration.

It is because of the small love that millions of people down the ages have decided to renounce the world, relationship, wife, husband, children, and to escape to the caves, to the monasteries, to hide somewhere. They are really renouncing the small world of small love. They are tired of it, they are finished with it, and they don't know that there is another kind of love and that escaping to the caves is not going to help; they will remain small. They can be in the Himalayas but their minds will remain the same minds as they were when they were in the marketplace.

Renouncing the world brings no transformation, but renouncing the small love certainly brings transformation. So slowly slowly one has to grow into giving. A moment comes when the gestalt changes, when you simply give and you are joyous because your gift has been accepted. In that moment love starts taking on the colour of prayer. And unless love becomes prayer, we have not lived it truly. Unless love becomes prayer, we will not know the mystery of life, because love is the key that unlocks the door.

Anand means bliss, nirbeeja means seedless. The word nirbeeja is a very specific word. In Yoga two kinds of samadhi are talked about, two kinds of ultimate states of consciousness. One is sabeeja; it means with seed. Another is nirbeeja; it means seedless, without seed. The sabeeja state of mind is where somewhere some desire is still lurking, the seed of desire is still there. In its time, in its season, it will sprout again. You will be caught in the desire again. For the moment it has left you, you cannot see any visible sign of it - there are moments when you cannot see any anger, and you can believe also that now it has gone forever - and then in a certain situation, out of nowhere it comes again.

One day you find that you are no more interested in people, you are perfectly happy alone. The desire for the other has disappeared, and it may look in that moment as if it is gone and you are free from the other. Now there is no bondage, now you can be on your own. You are free, you have freedom, you are no more dependent on anybody else; it is a great release, a great relief. But one day suddenly, out of nowhere, out of the blue, the desire for the other arises. That simply means that the seed was there. The tree had disappeared from the surface, but the seeds had fallen down into the soil. They were waiting for the rains to come, and then they will sprout again, and again the whole journey will start.

Nirbeeja means when the seed is burnt. That is the true state, the true attainment. One has to attain to a bliss where all seeds of desire are burnt, so there is no possibility of any desire arising again.

The state is called the state of the mukta - the state of the free, the state of freedom.

One has to go on watching. Not only the roots and the branches and the foliage have to be cut, but the seeds have to be burnt. And watching, slowly slowly one becomes aware of where the seeds are. If one goes on watching one's anger, sooner or later one will come upon the small seeds, and once you have those seeds in your hands they can be burnt, they can be destroyed. In fact the very awareness becomes a fire. And when all desires have disappeared, then for the first time one knows what joy is, what freedom is, what liberation is.

[Osho gives a sannyasin a name for a centre.]

This will be the name: Soham.

It is an ancient mantra, it means 'I am that.' It is the ultimate declaration that man is god, that everything is divine. This has been the greatest experience of those who have gone in: a moment comes when the devotee is no more separate from the deity. A moment comes when it is no more a question of 'I' and 'thou', when it is no more a dialogue because there are no longer two persons left.

Slowly slowly, as the prayer grows deeper and the ego of-the devotee melts, a moment comes when this declaration comes out of one's own innermost core - not actually in words but as an existential feeling: 'I am that.' And in that very moment is enlightenment. That feeling precedes the moment of enlightenment.

It is not a question of repeating it. One can go on repeating 'Soham, soham... I am that, I am that' - that won't help. One has to become so utterly silent that if there is some voice inside, some music inside, it can be heard. This is the music that is heard: soham.

And this word does not belong to any language. Formerly it belonged to Sanskrit, but it doesn't belong to any language really. If you silently listen to the sound of your breathing, you will feel it; this is the sound, this is the music of breathing. If one sits silently and listens to the breathing going in, coming out, this sound will be heard 'soham, soham... ' It is the actual sound of the breath. We don't hear it because we are so much in turmoil.

There are a few labs in the world for some scientific experimentation which are absolutely sound- proof. Once a musician was invited into such a lab which was absolutely sound-proof. He was surprised to hear the sound 'soham'. He looked all around, he enquired 'What is the matter? I don't see any sound coming from anywhere but I hear "soham".' The director of the lab said 'This is the sound of your own breathing. Because all sounds have been cut off, you are able to hear it.'

If everything is absolutely silent, one can even hear the blood pulsating inside one's veins; then again the sound is soham. So this is a pure sound - it is not a word but a pure sound. And the same sound is heard like a great explosion when one comes closer and closer to reality.

Help people to know 'I am that.'

[A sannyasin couple are present. The woman says: I have this fear... I did T'ai Chi and it led me very deep and there was fear. The husband comments she is divided between being here and at their sannyas centre in the West.]

That's perfectly good - T'ai Chi you can continue. And it can happen: if you go deeper a certain kind of existential fear can come which may not have any cause; that is possible. But that fear is good; that simply shows depth, the fear of depth, the fear of losing your ground, the fear of losing your safety and security, the fear of losing your identity. That fear is perfectly good - one has to go through it. It cleanses, purifies. That fear is of death, the death of the ego; but one is born only after that. Then there is no problem. Simply go on working deeper and deeper in T'ai Chi, and while you are here do T'ai Chi, do other groups, do other meditations. And don't be afraid of the fear. Accept it - it is perfectly good. It is a blessing; it is an indication that something deeper is happening.

Sometimes that too happens - and [your husband] may be right - that when you start feeling some unknown fear and you cannot figure it out, you start looking for some outer causes for it. Because the mind feels very restless unless it finds a cause, so any cause will do - [the centre], work, this and that, relationship. That too is possible. Mm? then one has some explanation. Otherwise one looks crazy if somebody asks 'Fear of what?' and you cannot answer. Just to answer others and just to answer oneself one goes on finding excuses outside, but that is not good.

Stop finding excuses outside. Go deeper into it. The deeper you go, the more it will grow. And there comes a peak when you are almost shaken with the fear. Trembling, you are only trembling, and nothing else is left. Only after that fear, that ultimate trembling, does one face reality, encounter oneself. All fear disappears, then one is absolutely fearless. But before that one has to go to that peak.

Anand means bliss, nada can mean sound, music, song - a song of bliss, music of bliss. Man exists as potential music. Man is a musical instrument. And if we leave ourselves in the hands of god, he starts playing on our instrument and great music arises. But we have to be in a kind of let-go. Only when we are in a let-go are we one. Otherwise our body functions separately, our mind functions separately, our soul functions separately. And because they function separately, the music is not possible. Only noise is created; there is no rhythm.

When we are in a let-go, in the state of surrender, suddenly we are one. Then you are not body, mind, soul - you are just one; you function as one organic unity. In that organic unity a certain 'nada', a certain music is heard, and that music is bliss. So you have to become that organic unity.

My whole approach towards life is that of a musician, that of a poet, that of a singer. Joy has to be the taste of religion and beauty has to be worshipped as god. Wherever beauty happens, god is very close by. It may be beauty in sound; then we call it music. It may be beauty in words; then we call it poetry. But all is somehow joined together at one centre, and that centre is a sense of beauty.

But man has been taught down the ages to remain divided. That has been the priests' trade secret:

divide and rule. If man remains divided, if his house is divided, you can rule him. If man becomes undivided, he will not bother about any priest, any church. He will not go anywhere to worship - his whole life will become worship. He will not ponder on great theological doctrines. His sitting, his walking, his eating, his sleeping, will be enough proof of god. His each moment will be so full of divinity that he will not need any other proof, any other argumentation.

And that's my approach: to help you to listen to the inner music so that that can become the proof.

And that is the only proof. All other proof is just bogus - good to convince foolish people, but no intelligent person can be deceived by it.

The intelligent person can be convinced only by something that happens inside as an experience - so overwhelming, so majestic, so incomprehensible, that the knower is lost into the known. That is nada - that unity, that rhythm...

[A visitor says: I feel disappointed since I came here - I expected to find a lot of joy and love... and I haven't experienced either.]

Anybody who comes with expectations is bound to be frustrated - not only here; wherever you go you will be frustrated. Expectation is the root cause of frustration. Those who really want to come to me should come without any expectation, then only will they find something. Otherwise your mind remains demanding, expecting 'This should be like this and this should be like that.' And I am in no way obliged to do things according to you; I do things in my own way. When you come into my world, you have to fall in harmony with my world. I cannot fall in harmony with your world and your expectations. If your expectations are right, then there is no need to go anywhere - you are perfectly happy wherever you are. Your mind is wrong. And the same mind is demanding, the same mind is projecting.

It almost always happens: people who cannot love, expect love. And one gets love only when one loves. When they don't get love they become even more rigid, more frozen, and feel that the world is loveless. The world will remain loveless. It is love-full only to those who love. The world is full of music, but you need ears to hear it. If you have not trained your ears and you don't have that musical capacity, then the world is simply noise; there is no music. One can pass through beautiful mountains without becoming aware of beauty. One has to be very receptive for these subtle things to happen.

And this is not only the case with you - it happens to many people: they come with great expectations. They create their own expectations, they come because of their expectations, and suddenly, no expectation is being fulfilled here. In fact every expectation is deliberately frustrated here. It is part of my work that nobody's expectations should be fulfilled, because if your expectation is fulfilled your mind is strengthened, and your mind is your enemy, your mind has been your hell.

Now to make it stronger is not going to help you - it is going to harm you.

Be here for a few days without expectation... just as if you are in a very strange place. You don't know what it is, you don't know what to expect. Remain open and watch, and you will be surprised at how much love flows towards you. But it all depends on you....

This is how we live - our whole life is like that. Our minds are very imaginative, and in imagination you are free to do anything. But reality is going to be different from your imagination, and whenever imagination and reality clash, the imagination has to shatter. And it hurts because your ego is involved in it: your imagination is being shattered.

Do a few groups - if you have come, do a few groups. Just be here and give me a chance. But don't expect, otherwise you don't give a chance at all; you are already prejudiced. Just remain open.

There is no need to agree with me, there is no need to disagree either. That's what I mean when I say 'open'; no agreement, no disagreement - just an openness to see what is happening here.

Maybe it is of some use to you; then you can choose something out of it. Maybe it is of no use to you; then there is no need to choose anything.

But be open. Then only can you have a right vision of things. Otherwise, you live in your expectation, you live surrounded by your mind, and whatsoever you come to know will have nothing to do with reality.

[A visitor says: I want to be here, to be open to you.

Osho suggests groups for him.]

And just be here - feel things as they are. Just take note of things, be watchful, and participate in things.

It is always of immense value if you don't have any idea a priori. When you function without any prejudice for or against, you always come closer to truth. People who have already decided for or against, will never come to know what truth is. If a conclusion is already there, there is every possibility that you will strengthen your conclusion; you will find only things which help your conclusion.

The mind is very selective - once a conclusion is there it only selects things which fit with the conclusion. Then we are in a trap, and the stronger the conclusion becomes, the more the mind starts choosing things which fit with it.

Sometimes you also feel that there is something which you are not taking note of: you cannot take note of it, otherwise your whole conclusion will be disturbed. So just for a small thing, why disturb the whole thing? Leave it - it may be just an exception. So whether for or against, conclusion is dangerous.

An open mind means a mind functioning without any conclusion. So one has to be non-selective, one has to collect all the raw details, whatsoever they are, and then only slowly slowly does a conclusion arise.

Conclusions should come in the end, should not be there from the very beginning. Then one is moving very scientifically, and that's how intelligence should move.

[A sannyasin says she had become spaced out as if she had in front of her two thousand faces, so which to put on! Later she had a fever. Osho checks her energy.]

Everything is perfectly good. It is just that the mind came to a very very abysmal state, and you become frightened - as if you were going mad or something. But nothing to be worried about.

You just came to a precipice, and you looked down and it was a bottomless abyss. You became very frightened and that's why the fever came. It was not bodily at all. It was just that the body was shaken, and there was no way to go back. I never leave any way back! This abyss has to be accepted joyously. Sooner or later one has to jump into it.

But this always happens when for the first time you see the abyss there, and the path back has disappeared and ahead there is nowhere to go, just a deep precipice. And even the bottom is not visible - if you fall, you are lost. One naturally trembles. That trembling, that shivering, gave you the fever. And the mind started getting crazy ideas, a thousand and one thoughts together - 'What to do?' 'What to do?' 'Where am I?' and 'Who am I?' A real identity crisis, but something immensely beautiful. You will understand the beauty only when you have jumped into the precipice.

Soon I will push you! But everything is perfectly good - be happy!

[A sannyasin says he is weaving. Osho says to make it his meditation; it is one of the most meditative works one can do. Weave with meditation and with prayer - let it be worship.]

[The massage group is present. The leader says it was very unpredictable and a bit chaotic but very real and very beautiful.]

The real is always unpredictable and the real is always chaotic. All order is forced and imposed.

There is a spontaneous order in chaos and it has beauty. But because it is unpredictable it cannot be controlled and the ego becomes afraid. The ego always wants to remain in control. It loves order and is afraid of chaos - chaos is its death. But god is chaos and god is unpredictable.

And when a few people are working really totally, great divine energy is released. The groupleader has to be slowly slowly ready to go with the energy wherever it leads, with no judgement, with no evaluation, and with no effort to control it. The groupleader has to be just a help. He has to facilitate the process; he has not to control it, otherwise he becomes repressive. And that's why the whole society is suffering: everybody is repressive. The politician, the policeman, the priest, the judge - all are repressive. They have crippled reality to such an extent that only the unreal lives and the real is almost dead.

These groups have to release the reality in people, so you have to withdraw all control. It is dangerous. It is playing with fire, but only fire purifies. Each group has to be a baptism through fire, only then is it true. But good - you are getting into it more and more.

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"...you [Charlie Rose] had me on [before] to talk about the
New World Order! I talk about it all the time. It's one world
now. The Council [CFR] can find, nurture, and begin to put
people in the kinds of jobs this country needs. And that's
going to be one of the major enterprises of the Council
under me."

-- Leslie Gelb, Council on Foreign Relations (CFR) president,
   The Charlie Rose Show
   May 4, 1993