[A sannyasin couple and their baby are present. The man says he expected to come here and feel better, more loving. Instead, he says, in some ways he feels more sad, tense, angry.]
Expectation always creates misery. If you expect something, that very expectation will become the barrier. So live a life without any expectations. Your expectations are your demands on life and a demanding mind always becomes miserable. Bliss is where demand is not, because only in a non-demanding state can you relax and receive it. So this is not a problem which is personal to you; this happens to many people.
Naturally, you come with great expectation - that this is going to happen, that is going to happen...
many fantasies in the mind. Because of those fantasies you cannot relax; you are always waiting for the result. The journey is no more important; the goal has become important. If the goal is not arising you become miserable. And the more miserable you become, the farther away the goal goes on receding. It's a vicious circle.
So next time you come, come without any expectations. We cannot demand anything of life; it has no obligation to fulfill our demands. That whole pattern has to be broken, so in a way it has been good that you have been shocked. Now you can learn something beautiful out of it - to never again expect.
Expectation is out of misery, and naturally when a thing arises out of misery it will create misery.
The tree will be nothing but an unfoldment of the seed; the tree cannot be anything else. Why were you expecting to be more loving? - because you must be suffering and feeling that you are not loving. Now out of the non-loving mind the desire comes to be loving. Watch the mechanism and from where it comes. The seed is poisoned, the source is poisoned. You are unloving so you desire to be loving. Now the deSire is coming from an unloving mind. It cannot change you - it will
be a continuity with your mind; it will make you more miserable. And when the demand is there, expectation is there, comparison is there. The greater the demand, the more miserable you will feel, the more of a failure you will feel. Make a big deal and then you fall short.
If you had come without any desire, without any demand, without any expectation, that would have been the right way to come to me. Next time come without any demand. Just come to be here for the sheer joy of being here - not that something is going to result out of it. There is nothing to result out of it; it is the thing in itself. This is it! And if you can be in this moment without any expectation then there is no misery; then you are open. Then you simply unfold; your flower blooms. There is no barrier to it... nothing can hold it.
But it happens to many people. By and by they learn that expectations are not helpful. So you suffered because you sowed the seeds for it. Next time come just for the sheer joy of being here - with not even a single idea, no demand about what should happen. Whatsoever happens is good.
If nothing happens, that too is good. With no future in the mind, come.
When there is no future in the mind the past slips, cannot remain there. The past can remain in you only if you project a future. The future is another side of the past. You were miserable, you were feeling unloving, closed - that was your past. You created a future. You think it is the opposite, but how can it be opposite? It will only be just the other side of it. The other side looks opposite but is not. They are together - they are never separate. Unloving, closed, feeling miserable, you created a future, you painted a future: loving, open, happy. And because they are together, you cannot get out of the rut.
Next time create no future, no fantasy, no dream. And then suddenly you will be surprised: the past is slipping out of you! It cannot keep glued to you; it needs the future to remain with you' So drop the future to drop the past, and when the past and future are not there, there is no way to be miserable and there is no way to be closed. It is impossible to be closed and to be miserable; then one is simply blissful. Not really blissful, but one is simply bliss!
Next time... But remember, when I am saying 'next time', don't start creating an expectation for next time. Because I just saw the idea in you, of 'Okay, so next time I will see'... but then you have already created...
I am saying, 'next time' not to create a desire but just to see what has happened this time. In your seeing it, it will disappear and you will come more innocent, more in a primal state of mind. Then everything is possible.
[The wife says she will miss Osho. Osho replies, That's right! I will also miss you.]
But you will be coming soon... and I will follow you there! Continue to meditate and remember me, mm ? And sometimes when you are far away, you can be far closer to me than when you are here.
That happens, because when you are physically here I am so obvious that you can start taking me for granted. When you are far away you cannot take me for granted: you have to make great deliberate conscious effort to remember me. In that very remembrance I will be closer to your heart than ever.
It is not a question of physical presence; it is a question of inner remembrance. So nothing to be worried about! If you sometimes feel like crying and weeping, cry and weep. And tears are beautiful prayer; there is nothing else more beautiful than tears. Next to tears is the smile... but next!
Tears come from the deepest core of your being. And if they come with joy, if they come as a celebration, if they come as a loving memory, they have infinite value. They can become the whole alchemy of transformation. One can be transformed through tears as through nothing else.
So when you feel like crying, cry. When you miss me, miss me! And let a great remembrance arise in you. Feel me very consciously around you and you will be able to jump across time and space.
That's how love is said to be beyond time and space. It can jump from one place to another place without taking any time. It is the fastest thing possible. Love is faster than light! In a single moment you can be on another planet. So I will be with you!
[A sannyasin says she has a feeling of sinking into a deep blue liquid and is very afraid and confused.
Osho checks her energy.]
Everything is on the right lines. It can be confusing in the beginning because things are changing; you are no more the same.
And that liquid is very symbolic. You are becoming liquid; you are losing your old frozenness, your old solidity. To be solid is dull and dead; to be liquid is more alive. And I say this is nothing because there comes a point when one starts evaporating; then the real confusion!
These are the three states: solid, liquid, and vapour. These are the three states not only of water; these are the three states of consciousness too. Consciousness can function as a solid thing; that is the most dull state, sleepy. The second is a liquid state: consciousness starts flowing; life starts happening. The third state is vapour: the consciousness simply disappears into the unknowable.
Now you are becoming blue liquid; soon you will become blue sky. Then the real confusion will come! These confusions have to be passed through; they are beneficial. Nothing to be afraid of.
Fear will come, that's why fear is there. Fear will come about what is happening. Because you will not be so certain about yourself; how can you be ? With the past you are certain; with the future you are not certain. You used to know who you are; now that identity will disappear, and with that your choice, decisiveness - all things will go. So even in small things you will become indecisive. This is perfectly good - nothing to be worried about.
And in relationship also you will find that you are no more as certain, confident, as you used to be, because you will not be so able to manipulate people; manipulation is ugly. You will not be so capable of playing games upon people; games are ugly. You will not be so capable of putting your trips on people; trips are ugly. So naturally you will feel as if the ground is disappearing underneath and you are falling in an abyss. But this is what sannyas is all about!
Soon you will be happy that the o!d solidity is gone, the old ego is gone, and your river is no more stagnant - it is flowing; it has melted.
Things are going perfectly well... Nothing to be worried about. These are the moments when trust is needed. If you trust, there is no confusion; if you don't trust there is confusion. So you can choose between trust and confusion - whatsoever you like!
If you like confusion, you can choose confusion; if you don't like confusion, just trust. These are the moments in which you simply go on doing whatsoever is happening, go on participating in it. Within a few days you will disappear and a new you, and a far better you and a far more beautiful you, will have arrived!
[Osho explains the meaning of deva prayoga - divine experiment. From the known into the unknown into the unknowable. This is sannyas.
To me life is a divine experiment. It is not punishment - it is god's experiment. It is a design, it is a growth situation.
It is a provocation to go higher and higher and higher. It is a constant challenge - not to remain limited by the past, not to remain confined by the past, not to remain burdened by the known. One has to continuously go beyond the known. Only by going from the known to the unknown does the greatest experiment happen one day. That is: going from the unknown into the unknowable. But one learns from going from the known to the unknown.
So the beginning is dropping the known and always choosing the unknown. Then by and by that quality of adventure, that quality of quest, exploration, gathers, goes on gathering, comes to a climax, a crescendo - and then the quantum leap. The quantum leap is from the unknown to the unknowable. That unknowable is called god. God is just a name for the unknowable. It is just a word, a symbol; it can be dropped. In fact it should be dropped because the very word has become known so much that it no more represents the unknowable.
The priests have used it so much that they have corrupted it by too much use. The word has become so familiar that it rings no bell in the heart. And familiarity breeds contempt - god, god, god... church, temple, mosque. Everywhere people talking about god, everybody believing in god. The whole thing has become vulgar... too mundane. It can be dropped.
Remember: the unknowable. Science only believes in two things - the known and the unknown; it does not believe in the unknowable. That's the difference between science and religion. Science says the existence can be divided into two parts - the known and the unknown. The unknown is that which we will know some day. It has no intrinsic quality of remaining unknown forever - it is just uncharted, but we will chart it. All that has become known was unknown one day; it has become known. All that is unknown today will become known tomorrow... or some day! it is potentially capable of being known.
Religion says there are three things: the known, the unknown... and up to this point religion agrees with science, there is no disagreement. But religion says there is something more too: that is the unknowable, which cannot be known ever, which will remain mysterious. By its very nature it is a mystery. And religion has some valid reason for it; it is not just illogical.
There are many things we will never be able to know for certain - for example, how this existence came into being. We will never be able to know because we came very very late; there was nobody witnessing it. It will always be more or less a guess. There are a thousand and one theories about creation but all are guesses, all guesswork. No theory can be called scientific; there is no way, because nobody has witnessed it. Nobody could witness it because we came later on. It was not possible to be there when existence was being created, so that mystery will remain a mystery.
Man can go on knowing many things, but the knower in man will remain a mystery because there is no way to make the knower an object of knowledge- It remains subjective. It is always the knower; it is never the known. And there is no way to divide yourself into two parts, and even if it can be done then the part that becomes known is no more you. The part that still knows, is you, so it is irreducible; that mystery of the knower will never be solved.
And the end remains unknowable. What to say about the end of existence? We don't even know what happens to a man when he dies, and people die every day; people simply disappear. The cocoon is left, the body is left, and the soul? - nobody knows where it goes, whether it remains or not, whether is simply disappears, dissolves or travels ahead. Death happens every day and we are not even able to know death - so what to say about the death of the whole existence ? We will not be there to witness it either. Just as the beginning has been missed, the end is going to be missed, because when the existence ends we will end with it. So nobody will be there as a witness.
These are very fundamental mysteries and there are other mysteries. Love is a mystery: nobody knows yet why and how it happens. And there are other mysteries which happen rarely, so they are not so common - for example, samadhi, enlightenment. They happen but are not common. Nobody knows what happens when a man becomes a buddha. Even a buddha is incapable of explaining it; even he keeps quiet. Even he smiles and keeps quiet. He says, 'You can know only when it has happened to you. It is a taste to be tasted. There is no way to explain it.'
These are the three things: from the known one has to go always into the unknown and one day from the unknown into the unknowable. So there are only two steps of sannyas: first, from the known into the unknown, and the second and the last, from the unknown into the unknowable.
This is the experiment....