Darshan 29 March 1978

From:
Osho
Date:
Fri, 29 March 1978 00:00:00 GMT
Book Title:
Don't Bite My Finger, Look Where I'm Pointing
Chapter #:
27
Location:
pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Archive Code:
N.A.
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Audio Available:
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Chandrakirti is one of the greatest Buddhist philosophers. He is not only a philosopher but also a Buddha himself, part of that great chain that Buddha created, and one of the most important links in that chain. There are no traditions which have produced as many enlightened people as Buddhism.

And Buddha's disciples have bloomed in such great numbers that it has never happened before or since.

Jesus is lonely in that way; only once in a while an Eckhart or a Boehme or a Francis have attained.

Jesus' disciples who have become enlightened can be counted on one's fingers; not so with Buddha - thousands! He really created such a momentum for enlightenment in human consciousness, a tidal wave.

Chandrakirti is one of those great disciples. Literally the name means chandra means moon and kirti means glory - moon glory. That too is very significant. In life man can have two kinds of splendour. One is that which is found around an Alexander; that is sun glory - aggressive, hot, violent. Another kind of glory is found around a Buddha or a Jesus or Lao Tzu; that is moon glory - nonaggressive, non-violent. You can conquer somebody through violence but his heart remains unconquered. You can crush, you can destroy, but you cannot create, through violence. You can destroy somebody's body but you cannot bend his soul; there no weapon can penetrate, no fire can reach. Man's interiority is ultimately free. But when you come across a moon person, you surrender; not that he conquers but you surrender.

Chandrakirti means a loving energy, silent, cool. It will not even knock at your door: it will simply wait for you to understand, to see, to feel. k will not shout at you, it will not be loud. It will not be like slogans; it will be a very very silent whispering. It will speak in gestures; it will sing a song or a lullaby.

That is the meaning of chandrakirti. The real masters are always moon glories - become a moon glory!

Veet means beyond, vivarta mean illusion - beyond all illusions. Man lives in illusions because man lives in his mind. The mind is the source of all illusions; it only creates dreams, it generates dreams and desires. When those dreams and desires are not fulfilled... and they cannot be fulfilled, by their very nature they cannot be fulfilled because they are not in tune with existence; existence has no obligation to fulfil them.

The mind has taken itself as being the centre of existence; it is not, it is a pretender. But it is very very skilful in creating dreams, desires, of how things should be. It goes on and on fabricating, decorating, and it gets impressed by its own dreams; it is a kind of auto-hypnosis. When it becomes too obsessed with its dreams and they start looking as if they are realities then the danger arises; life becomes a wastage. One goes on working for those dreams to be fulfilled and they never are.

Ultimately only frustration happens. Through the mind there has never been any fulfilment, ultimately only frustration and only frustration.

One has to learn not to dream, one has to learn not to desire, one has to learn not to be a mind.

Then one goes beyond illusions and then everything immediately starts happening, because then one is in tune with reality. When you are not, you are in tune with reality. Then the whole exists and the individual simply disappears in the whole. That is let-go and that is sannyas.

I am initiating you not into any new dream; I am initiating you against all dreams. Sannyas is nothing but renouncing all mind-trips, relaxing into that which is. That liberates, that let-go is liberation.

Each language in fact is not one language but two. There are two dimensions to each language, diametrically opposite to each other; they never meet. They run parallel but they never meet. One is the ordinary language, the factual language, the language of the world. It can be refined, then it becomes the language of science. It is the common world language; refined, made more articulate, made more objective, more exact, but it is the same language - the language of facts. It says, it informs, it is needed, it has utility but it is not enough. There are so many things which it cannot do anything about - love, beauty, prayer, god. The language of facts is simply impotent about those experiences. It cannot express them, and because it cannot express them it denies them, it says they don't exist.

There is another kind of language, just parallel to the factual - the language of poetry, of love, of prayer. The first language is logical, purposive, sticks to the fact. Hence it is useful but limited, because there are many things in life which are not factual and yet they are existential. Somebody whom you love is ill. He is dying and you care for him. He says, 'You have made a great change in my illness, you have transformed my being. I am a totally different person and I am taking my illness in a different way.' There is no medical instrument which can detect this difference but this is true.

If somebody loves a dying man, his death has a difference, his illness has a difference. He can go to meet death dancing; he can go to meet death singing. He has been loved, he has been cared for.

He knows that he has been accepted; he is fulfilled. But no medical instrument can detect it - whether the ill person was loved or not loved. The illness remains the same as far as the factual language is concerned but something of immense importance has happened.

There are things which are not facts. For them a totally different kind of language is needed. It exists; the language of aesthetics. It is illogical, it is emotional, it speaks heart to heart. It does not say much but still it says much. Sometimes it is even silent but in that silence there is a great message, communication, communion.

The first kind of language is from mind to mind. The second kind of language is from heart to heart.

It speaks in gestures, it speaks in metaphors, it speaks in myths and parables. It spins beautiful poetry. If you try to squeeze meaning out of that poetry, nothing will come into your hands; only the poetry will be destroyed. It cannot be squeezed. One has to be very sympathetic, available, one has to fall en rapport with it, one has to be possessed by it. One has to allow it to enter one's interiormost core and then suddenly a flower blooms within. And one understands, but that understanding is not knowledge; that understanding is wisdom.

Become a language of love. Facts are okay, but just okay; they don't make life a rejoicing, they don't create celebration. They can give you a better standard of life but they cannot give you a new passion for life, they cannot give you intensity of life. They cannot give you quality; they can only give you quantity. Only the language of love starts penetrating you through a different dimension, through the vertical dimension.

The first language is horizontal, the second language is vertical; it goes into depth and it goes into height. The first language just moves on the plain road, on a superhighway. It never goes deep, it never goes high; it knows nothing of depth or of height.

My effort here is to teach you the second language. And remember, I am not against the first. It is needed, it is perfectly good as far as it goes, but there is much more beyond it, and that much that is beyond it is really valuable. It is nonpurposive, but valuable. It brings glory to life and benediction.

[A sannyasin who is leaving says: You have given me so much!]

More is on the way... much more is going to happen. The more you have, the more I give. I give to rich people! Not rich in the sense of money but rich in the sense of being. Money people are poor people; they have only money and nothing else. The rich people are those who have a heart, and you have a heart.

[A sannyasin who has just arrived says: I feel better.]

Mm Mm, you are better and you will become better every day. One just has to accept the idea that one can be better and one starts becoming better.

People are very miserly in accepting happiness; nothing else is a barrier. It is just that people cannot believe that they can be happy, this is the barrier. And if you can't believe that you can be happy, how can you be? People believe in unhappiness, they are great believers in unhappiness; they believe in hell. They talk about heaven but they believe in hell, they talk about god but they believe in the devil. In fact they talk about heaven only so that they can believe in hell because without heaven there will be no hell. They talk about happiness so that they can feel really miserable; in comparison to happiness they can see how unhappy they are. But they don't accept this simple truth which can transform their life immediately, instantly - that life is meant to be blissful, that it is just normal to be blissful. Not to be blissful should be a rare thing, a freak-out.

If people could accept happiness, joy, peace, silence, then buddhahood would be the normal course of life; everybody would be a Buddha. Only once in a while a person may not be a Buddha; that can be accepted. Health is normal, disease should not be normal. Sanity is normal, madness should not be normal. And buddhahood is nothing but sanity, utter sanity, sheer health. But this is the most difficult thing for people to understand, it takes them so long a time to accept a simple thing - that they can be happy, that they are worthy of being happy, that god has created them to be happy, otherwise he would not have created them, that they are already accepted, that this existence needs them, that they are not useless, that they must be fulfilling some function in this vast complexity of life.

Once one starts accepting and respecting oneself, life starts changing, joy arises. There is no need to better yourself, you start becoming better; it simply starts happening more and more every day.

And the more it comes, the more trusting you are that it is possible; then it becomes easier. It simply depends on you, on how much you can receive; that much will be given to you.

So open your heart. Become a receptacle, an infinite receptacle. Then god becomes a guest in your being. This time something is going to happen!

[A sannyasin recently returned has written a letter to Osho saying that whilst in the West, everything was fine except that he kept waking in the early morning feeling restless and disturbed. First he began to feel that he was falling into depression; then the sadness became anger, aggression.]

I received your letter. It is something important and it is good that you have not taken any medicine, the medicine would have been a disturbance. It would have been comfortable, convenient, but it would have disturbed a very deep process that has started.

Yes, it was good that you didn't take any and felt that. It is something from the deepest basement of your being that is being released. And it can be released only in dreams, because if it is released when you are awake you will go crazy, you will go mad. So it is a natural safety device that all that is very horrible is thrown out of you when you are fast asleep. It is just like when you are being operated on: anaesthetic has to be given to you. The operation can be done when you are awake but it will be too horrible, it will drive you crazy, and it will be too painful.

Surgeons have learned it from nature; nature has a built-in process: whenever something is too horrible or too painful the person immediately falls into a swoon, becomes unconscious. You can bear pain only up to a certain limit. If the pain becomes more than that, you simply become unconscious. So in fact, to call any pain unbearable is not right because the moment it is unbearable, you are not conscious; if you are conscious it is bearable. It is a built-in phenomenon, you have nothing to do with it. No pain is unbearable; when it is unbearable you simply pass out.

And that's the phenomenon with dreams also: much rubbish is being thrown out in dreams and when the unconscious really starts pouring the rubbish which has been accumulating for so many lives, down through the centuries, if you can see it, you will never be sane again. So it has to be released in dreams. But even when it is released in dreams, in the morning you will feel bad, mm?

because the dream also happens in you.

You are not fully conscious but a part of your being goes on watching it, a part of your being never falls asleep. It is a very tiny part but that much remains as a link between your consciousness and your unconsciousness. That part goes on watching, that part remembers; otherwise you would not be able to remember your dream. That small, tiny part remembers in the morning that this was the dream. It remembers fragments: a few things it forgets, a few it remembers, because it is very tiny.

It is as if you are watching the whole film through a keyhole; you only know the fragments.

So in the morning it will be difficult and you will feel bad, but it has to be accepted; soon it will change.

And the fundamental change has happened: first it was sadness, then it became anger; that is a natural process. Now the anger will also dissolve. And once the anger has gone, the dream has done its work; you have vomited out your garbage from the unconscious. Then you will feel really unburdened.

So something beautiful has started. And it is good that you have come because here it will be easier for things to settle.

[A sannyasin says: I don't know what's happening. I feel such fear and I feel as if I can't love.

Osho checks her energy.

She then tells him she has problems with relationships and having an orgasm.]

You need satsang with [one of my sannyasins, who] falls in love every day and then forgets all about it; next day she falls in love again. And when she falls she really falls. She is the greatest lover around here!...

Mm mm. Do one thing.... You are paying too much attention to orgasm; that is not needed at all.

Simply drop the idea of orgasm for three months. Let love be more playful, rather than purposive.

When you think of orgasm it becomes a purpose, it is more businesslike and then orgasm becomes difficult. This is the dilemma: if you are after orgasm it becomes difficult because you are looking out for it, hankering for it and you are not total in the act. Your mind is looking towards orgasm: you are thinking about whether you are going to make it this time or not and that fear paralyses the sex centre.

The sex centre can only open really when there is no fear, when there is no question of any result, when one is not thinking of any future, when the activity is not goal-oriented, when one is simply playing. It is beautiful to play with somebody's body and have somebody play with your body. Just two bodies dancing, singing, hugging, caressing is a beautiful symphony, there is no need to think about orgasm. And then it will happen! This is the beauty of it - then it will happen. But whether it happens or not is irrelevant. Simply forget about it.

For three months forget about orgasm. It will happen many times but even if it does, don't feel that you have it, so you have made it this time. Don't think before, don't think after; it is irrelevant. And after three months report to me.

Things will settle. It is this idea of orgasm that is creating the whole problem: when it doesn't happen, you feel frustrated, you feel as if you are unloving, you feel you are unloved, you feel you cannot find a right partner. Then you become angry and your whole energy starts becoming violent and aggressive. It is the same energy: if it becomes orgasm, it relaxes; if it doesn't become orgasm, it becomes tense.

In tension, anger functions almost like orgasm. It is anti-orgasm. It is the opposite polarity: it is hate orgasm. As the ordinary orgasm is a love orgasm, anger is a hate orgasm. One can get into such a rage that one can feel really great release; it comes out of violence. So violence and sex are very deeply related. If people are really sexual they are less violent; if they are not sexual they are violent.

That's why sex has never been allowed in armies: to keep people violent. If they have their girlfriends they will not be so violent. They have to be kept very angry, in a rage, their energy boiling and with no way for it to be expressed in a human way; they become inhuman. And all the weapons - the sword, the knife, the bullet - are nothing but sexual organs, projected, trying to enter the other's body. One can really feel an orgasm when one kills; that is the appeal of murder. There have been cases on record where a man has killed the woman while making love. He was trying to make double orgasms together, mm? a greater peak. While making love with one orgasm happening, he killed or strangled the woman. He was trying to manage both ends together: a love orgasm and a hate orgasm.

For three months just enjoy love. The orgasm will take care of itself and things will change. After three months you report to me, but for three months, really forget. I don't see any problem... Good!

[A sannyasin reminds Osho about a letter: I wrote about my work in the kitchen, about moving into the ashram and about moving in a new relationship. I was feeling a lot of fear and distance... getting a lot of headaches the last few days which I felt was due to the fear.

Osho checks his energy.]

It is nothing to be worried about, there is no problem really. Just relax, relax a little more. You are simply feeling a little tired, that's all. You look a little exhausted; maybe the work is exhausting and with this heat coming, mm?... but it is nothing to do with your mind. And there is no resistance or anything; you are just looking a little tired so you have a little more rest. And do the work less seriously then you will be able to do more with less wastage of energy. Love the work, make it a meditation - don't do it just as work.

The whole commune has to learn that - that the work has to be done out of love, out of joy, a kind of celebration. It has not to be work, it has to be play. Play does not mean that it has to be insincere. It has to be sincere but non-serious. In play also there is a kind of sincerity but it is nonserious; one is not carrying the whole mountain of work on one's head. And when you are not working then relax...

just rest a little more.

I don't see that there is any resistance or anything. Those are excuses you are finding to try to find out why this is happening. Maybe there is resistance, this and that. This much resistance is natural; it exists in everyone. Slowly slowly it will go. But that is not the problem, the problem is that you are exhausted.

So just continue for one month and then report to me, mm? Everything will be okay. Good!

[A sannyasin says: I feel very closed but I feel very emotional; there is so much crying and so much.... It just all comes out of my belly. It's beautiful and... ]

Allow it, mm? - this is prayer happening to you You may be surprised to know that in old Hebrew there is no word for prayer because the prayer was never a separate thing from crying, rejoicing, talking to god, dancing, singing. Prayer was never a separate phenomenon, it was all these things, so there was no word for prayer in ancient Hebrew; Jesus did not know the word 'prayer'.

Prayer is happening to you as crying. It happens differently to different people: to somebody it happens like laughing, to somebody else, something else. But whenever something is coming from your very centre, it is prayer, whatsoever form it takes. So allow it.

It will disappear, one day when its work is complete it will disappear. But with crying there is an association. The word has become contaminated because we see people crying only when they are in pain, misery, sad. But this is not that kind of crying, this is prayer. Be moved by it! When it comes, go totally into it. Become your tears, become your crying. Let every fibre of your being cry, let every cell of your body cry. Let it spread all over - body, mind, soul; let them all be together and crying. And this will be the natural meditation for you. I am happy, it is good; allow it. Good!

[A sannyasin says: I'm afraid of going crazy... Then I get uptight inside... I can't relax and I can't find any peace.

Osho checks her energy.]

No, nothing is the problem. You can relax easily but you do not, mm? Just drop the idea that you are holding; you are not holding or anything, just the idea is there. You have great expectations about yourself, that you should relax so much and you should do this and that, and that let-go should be total. don't ask inhuman things. You are perfectly good; it is just that you have a great idea that that has to happen and then you start feeling, 'I must be holding back, because it is not happening!'

Forget about all these things, these are all ideas. Let-go is also an idea, totality is also an idea.

Forget all about these. Just be natural, whatsoever you are. Enjoy small things. Laugh and cry and weep and dance, and sometimes go crazy too because that too is part of life. In fact, if craziness is accepted as part of life then there will be no more crazy people. The crazy people only exist because people are not allowed to be crazy at all. So it is a simple division of labour. A certain amount of craziness is a must in the world, otherwise the world will not run; it will stop, it will be stuck. So a few people have chosen to remain sane, whatsoever happens and a few people have to go crazy because of these people.

You will be surprised: if a family is very sane then one person will have to become crazy. Now psychologists have stumbled upon the fact that the person who goes crazy is simply carrying the burden of the whole family. The whole family has dumped its craziness on this poor fellow, he is a victim. The mother cannot be crazy, the father cannot be crazy, the brother cannot be crazy; nobody can be crazy. Then somebody has to take that craziness. Everybody is trying to be sane and this poor fellow is vulnerable: all the crazinesses that others have left have been dumped upon him, he is suffering from all their craziness. If everybody were a little bit crazy once in a while this person would not be crazy at all. People in the madhouses are victims, victims of those people who think they are sane. We have forced them to be crazy. They are carrying our crosses and we are enjoying at their cost.

Always keep it in mind that once in a while a little bit of craziness is just beautiful. It gives salt to your life, a little taste, a flavour. And in twenty-four hours one should go crazy at least once. Then nobody will be crazy in the world, craziness will be spread; there will be no concentration of it.

So you need not be worried. If craziness happens, just go crazy. For one hour every day, it is perfectly healthy to be crazy. That's what I mean when I say, 'Do Dynamic meditation!' I have just given it a good name, that's all, because people will not like 'Go crazy for one hour'; I say 'Dynamic meditation','Kundalini', but it is all craziness!

But it helps sanity; it brings health, it brings wholeness.

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