[March 21st was Enlightenment Day when everyone could come to celebrate darshan in Osho's silent presence.]
Madhuban means the garden. The garden is a metaphor of joy... celebration, flowering, of life, of vitality, of flow, of change. These two metaphors are very symbolic, the garden and the desert; they are polar opposites.
In the past religions have existed more like a desert. I want to transform the whole desert into a garden. To me sadness is almost a sin, laughter is prayer. Austerities are pathological, celebration is spiritual.
Religion has not to be against life but for it. We have to make life a garden, a beauty and a benediction. Religions have been thinking about paradise as being somewhere far away in the heaven. That is all dream. Paradise has to be created here, this earth has to become a paradise.
And remember, there is no other reality than this one. One has to go deeper and deeper into this reality. Going deep into this, that arrives.
[A sannyasin asks what he should keep in mind.... ]
Wait. For two months go through a few groups, a few processes, then I will tell you what to keep in mind. First the pot has to be cleansed completely; only then can something be invited into it!
[Osho gives one of his handkerchiefs to a sannyasin who is leaving.]
Mm, good! This is the beginning of freedom. Once the heart becomes a captive in love then one has started moving into the world of freedom. Love looks like a bondage in the beginning but it will give you wings.
So don't be afraid of that. And certainly it gives much pain but that pain is therapeutic. It is really a healing pain; it heals the wounds of the heart. So you are in a beautiful process... don't be worried.
[Another sannyasin who is leaving says: I'm frightened to go back to my old life.]
That fear is natural but unnecessary. Just go and you will find that there is nothing to be afraid of. It is natural, mm? because here you live in a different climate, in a different world, in a separate reality.
Things were growing, you were flowering and flowing, new spaces were happening. Now with going back to the ordinary world the fear arises: one may lose what one has gained. But it is not so. Fear is natural but unnecessary, because whatsoever you have gained cannot be lost, can never be lost.
You may forget sometimes but you will remember it again and it will be there. It has really happened, that's why it cannot be lost. It is not imagination. If something is only in the imagination then it will be lost; it cannot be forever, you are bound to lose it. But my work here is not in imagination.
I am not writing myself in water. I am engraining myself in rocks. You cannot lose it. It will go on growing; in spite of the whole world there it will go on growing. And once you have that feel, that it goes on growing even when the circumstances are all against it, then a great joy arises. You know that nobody can take it away from you, no situation can destroy it, that it is something indestructible.
[Another sannyasin, returning to the west, says: The first time I saw you you just told me to relax, and since then I went completely satoric... then I came down and... I don't know how I can go up again.... I'm moving in a complete sort of cloud of unknowing.
Osho checks her energy.]
This is the way life grows: move into the unknown like a cloud. Never think where you are going, never think what you are doing. That is what I mean by 'relax'.
Things have been happening beautifully and they will go on happening. One just has to relax and god is available everywhere. Satori is nothing but a deep relaxation.
... Just relax. Doing will disturb, doing will make you tense, and with tension this state will go away.
It looks crazy because one thinks, 'How can anything happen without doing?' but god happens only when you don't do; when you are absolutely a non-doer god happens. When you do, you miss, because when you do you become stronger, the ego becomes strengthened.
[She says: It's left no ego, and when I go back, I don't know... ]
Don't be worried, don't be worried, because that is the ego worrying again. That is the ego trying to come back saying, 'Now you are going away I will be needed.' That is the ego pushing itself to the front of the mind. It has not gone absolutely, it has simply receded. It has gone into the background, now it is trying to come to the foreground.
Don't listen to it; just say, 'I don't need you any more!' Say goodbye, and go on relaxing wherever you are, and I will help you relax.
Keep this (a box) with you, and whenever you feel some tension just put it on your heart and relax, mm? Good!
[A sannyasin, recently returned, says: I don't feel as if I'm totally here with you. I don't feel at all surrendered to you... and I wonder if I should give this (his mala) back to you?]
That is true, and that understanding is good; that will help....
Give it back, mm?
This will make you free and will make for more of a possibility to surrender. When you are not feeling surrendered the mala becomes a constant provocation and you start fighting with me. Rather than helping, it becomes a hindrance. Just be a nonsannyasin. And there is no problem in it. The surrender is to come one day, but only when it comes is there some meaning in sannyas; otherwise it is a meaningless thing. You cannot force it to come, but now it will be more possible because there will be no question of fighting. Now I make you completely free so you need not fight with me.
And if you stop fighting, surrender is bound to come, it is on the way.
You really want to surrender, that's why the problem arises that your surrender is not total, that you are not surrendered. Those who don't want to surrender can easily deceive themselves, they can think that they are surrendered. It is not a sincere thing in them, it is not authentic. An authentic person will always think whether he is surrendered or not. If he is not surrendered, then what is he doing? This is the way right surrender happens one day.
Don't be worried, don't feel any guilt, don't feel any burden and don't feel that you have done anything wrong by giving sannyas back. Feel free! Out of freedom sannyas will happen again. This time you missed it but many times people miss... and it is not cheap. One misses and one tries again and one misses and one tries again, but if one goes on trying it happens one day.
It is the greatest thing that can happen to any human being, because only in surrender do blessings shower, only in surrender does grace arrive. Only in surrender do you know what life is. Otherwise there is only struggle and strain and stress and tension and anxiety; and the whole of life is just a continuous vicious circle of all these things. It moves like a wheel: the same spokes come up again and down again, up again and down again. Surrender is jumping out of this wheel of anxiety. But, one has to wait for it.
Perfectly good. Continue to meditate, do a few groups, feel completely at ease, and when you start feeling that the sprout is arising, come back again, mm? - it's perfectly good.
[A sannyasin, recently returned after three years, says he went completely crazy and was put in hospital.]
Yes, I know. That too is nothing to be worried about, mm? If it happens next time, think of the hospital as a resting place, as a place for meditation, and enjoy it!
The word has become very wrongly associated. Once you are put in a hospital you are given the feeling that something has gone wrong. Nothing has gone wrong; society is just hospitalising you.
[The sannyasin says: I've come to reason with that, I've come to be at one with it, but it's still not very pleasant when it happens.]
Yes, it is difficult - I understand.
But if it happens, it happens; one has to enjoy it. And by enjoying it you will learn more and you will go deeper into your being.
Any breakdown is a possibility for a breakthrough. If you use it rightly it can be transformed into a breakthrough. And any breakthrough can become a breakdown if you don't use it rightly. That is a very delicate problem and Western psychology has yet not been able to cope with it. No, everything, a breakdown or a breakthrough, is just; a breakdown for them. They aren't yet aware of the difference between a breakthrough and a breakdown, and because they are not aware, they cannot utilise it, they cannot utilise it in a creative way. Otherwise every madness can be used as a great meditation.
Sooner or later it is going to happen in the West too. It has happened in the East, we have used it: if somebody goes mad, we have used it as a meditation. Madness simply means that all the armour of the ordinary reality is broken, the man is no more normal. The man is no more confined by the so-called normal structure of mind. The more that structure is, the less free you are; the less that structure is, the more free you are. In fact it is an expansion of consciousness. Society makes every consciousness very narrow, and whenever it happens that your consciousness is no more contained by that narrowness, the society condemns you as mad. But that moment can be used for a great spiritual experience, for satori.
So I understand - it is difficult and they will not understand - but still if it happens, you can use it.
Just don't bother about them, about what they are thinking. Just smile at them deep inside, and rest in bed! It is a great time to rest. In fact in the West there is no other way to rest, mm? Unless you are mad, nobody allows you to rest; because what are you doing? You have to be constantly on the go.
And come back for a few weeks sometimes so that you can go through a few groups, a few meditations; it will be good.
[The sannyasin had lost his mala and was wearing a new one. He says: But I also feel like dropping sannyas. He only got the new mala to stop people asking questions in the ashram.]
No, that's not right - that is cunning.... That is cunning....
Mm, that is not right, that I don't support. Dropping sannyas is perfectly good, but this is cunning.
There is no need, you should not ask for the mala. If it is stolen, that's one thing; if you have dropped sannyas then there is no need to ask for a mala. Don't make it a convenience, because that is cheating. So, if you come next time there is no need for a mala - you can be here as a non-sannyasin! Let people ask, that is not a problem. You can just answer that you have dropped it.
I would also like many people to drop sannyas, because I have to concentrate on my people, I have to work on my people more. I don't want people who just hang around. So that's perfectly good, and you make me happy, mm? because one burden, one responsibility is gone.
But this is cheating, this you should not do; nobody should do this. You want to enjoy all the facilities that are available for a sannyasin and you don't want to be a sannyasin; that's what is wrong. If you are not a sannyasin you should not ask for all the facilities that will be available for sannyasins. They will have all the priorities, they need them; non-sannyasins have to be secondary, they cannot be primary here.
So that's what people want to do: they want to be primary, they want to be prominent, they want to have all the facilities and all the opportunities but they don't want to risk anything.
So you give the mala back... and don't do such a thing again, mm? Good!
[A sannyasin says: I came five-and-a-half months ago and my energy was shattered. You said... in three months I'd be fine.
After about three months I was... my energy was good. I mean, that's the first time for five years.
In the last three months my body's been shaking from my neck down to my belly; mainly it happens when I relax.
[Osho checks his energy.]
Good. Nothing to be worried about. Allow it, it will settle on its own. It is something beautiful. The energy is coming up higher and higher. It is no more concentrated at the sex centre; it has moved to the throat centre. Soon it will move higher, it will come to the third eye, and then this shaking will stop. It is trying to penetrate the third eye.
[The sannyasin asks: Is it better to be aware when it happens or just to let the shaking happen?]
Sometimes let it shake, sometimes be aware; both have to be done, both will be helpful. Sometimes let it shake because that creates movement, and when it has moved you can be silent and watch it.
Both are beautiful. But it is moving from the fifth to the sixth centre, and that is one of the greatest movements. Once it has completely reached the sixth centre the shaking will stop and you will become so aware you cannot imagine: everything will become crystal clear. All the dust of the ages will disappear and the mirror will be a perfect mirror. That is the function of the sixth centre. That's why it is called the third eye, because from there you can really see reality as it is, hence it is called an eye.
It is trying to penetrate, and when it tries to penetrate great shaking arises. Enjoy it - and sometimes watch too. Enjoying will help it to move from the fifth centre and watching will help it to centralise, crystallise at the sixth centre, so both have to be done. But first shaking, then watching; never otherwise: don't watch first. But something beautiful is on the way - I am happy.
[A sannyasin has a catharsis in front of Osho who tells her to go into it. Afterwards she says: I am very happy!]
Allow it. Things are happening - just go into them, mm? Don't be afraid. Even sometimes when you come across a scary space, even sometimes when you feel that the whole world is falling apart, I am with you. Go with it, dig as deep as possible.
Now you are on the right track. The energy has come up and the work has started. Now more and more courage will be needed, but with each step of courage you will find more and more happiness happening....
[She has done several groups but has no money to do more.]
There is no need, mm? - just continue Sufi dancing and join the Music group in the night. Dance; that will help the energy. Music is needed now. Music is food for higher forms of energy, it is nourishment. More than food you will need music now.
[The massage group is present. The leader said she became ill, and felt very weak; it is something to do with her liver, and she feels shaking all over her body. Osho checks her energy.]
It has nothing to do with the body, it is just somewhere in your emotions. The body is affected by the emotions but the body itself has no problem; the energy is perfectly beautiful. So you have to do something about your emotions. k is there that you are feeling very shaky, uprooted.
That has to be deeply understood, mm? because this can happen again and again. Whenever you invest too much in a relationship this will happen. If the relationship goes down the drain, one feels like that - shaken, utterly shaken; not only in the mind but in the body too the effects are felt. And if it happens again and again then by and by the body is weakened.
One has to be very very careful about a few things. One is: never invest in individuals. Invest in love but never invest in individuals. If one individual is gone then one should be capable of moving easily with somebody else, it should be an easy process. We make it too painful, unnecessarily, and the reason is that we have been taught it has to be painful. If it is not painful we feel guilty, if it is not painful then the mind says, 'What kind of love was this? - you are not suffering! Feel guilty, suffer!
That's what you read in the novels and see in the movies and hear all around, so do it. Now the time has come, do it!'
Really, if you look deep down, the mind always feels free when one relationship is finished; one feels happy really but one cannot say it because it is not allowed. One wants to dance and laugh. One feels unburdened: so one nightmare is over! But we have been taught that this is something bad, it is not mannerly to be happy. Feel miserable, at least look miserable if you don't feel it. But if you look miserable and you try to feel miserable, you become miserable. The mind needs only a few hints and it starts working.
Feel free - there is no need to feel miserable. Relationships come and go, and the more they come and go, the better, because the more experienced you will become. Being obsessed with one person is not really love but an obsession, and it tortures both persons. Never make any relationship an obsession; let it be a free-floating phenomenon. Things are going beautifully so you are together; if things don't go beautifully, say good-bye. There is not any need even to hesitate, to linger on. So many beautiful people are available in the world, why get hooked with one person?
And I am not saying not to love the person - love him, but when things start going wrong... which they are bound to, because you are fast asleep, the other person is fast asleep, both of you are snoring and both of you are trying to be loving! Both of you are simply disturbing each other's sleep and nothing else. Sooner or later one gets tired of this snoring; one starts throwing pillows and things that is natural. There is a point beyond which one cannot tolerate it: so then finish; start something else.
One day one becomes capable of seeing the point, that these things come and go. One should live many relationships, many loves, and one should experience life in as much multiplicity as possible.
I am not saying that one has to, one is not to force oneself. If it comes, then it is good: if things are going well with one person, perfectly good. There is no need to escape from the person while things are going well.
So I am not giving you a programme, that it has to be done. I am simply saying that if it happens this way it is perfectly good; if it happens that way it is perfectly good. Whatsoever happens is good, relax into that happening. And when one person has left, if you can be alone, good; if you can't be alone, find somebody else. But don't remain in that gap too much. That gap is ugly, that's what is disturbing you.
You are still in a need of a relationship, you will not be able to live without a relationship yet. One day you will be able to and all these experiences will help you to become able to live without relationship.
[She asks: Is that a bad thing, not to be able to live without a relationship?]
No, nothing is bad... nothing is bad, but that comes automatically out of relationships; that comes automatically out of many relationships. If it doesn't come, perfectly good, but it does come; I cannot help that! The only way to stop it coming is to cling to one person. That's why marriage was invented.
Marriage is a way of always keeping you in relationship, because you never become ripe. Because one has not known many relationships, one goes on thinking that someone else would have been better - that woman, that man, mm? 'I got hooked with the wrong person, that's why the whole thing is wrong. There are so many beautiful people; things would have been different with somebody else.' That hope remains. Marriage keeps people hoping, it keeps people fantasising.
If you really live out your fantasies, sooner or later you are finished with them. You love this man and everything turns sour; you love that man and everything turns sour. You have seen all kinds of people and every time it happens that everything turns sour. How long can you remain unaware of the phenomenon that all love affairs fail? That is in-built. Not that I am saying they have to fail, but they do; I am simply stating a fact. Then one day one finds that one is able to be alone, and in that aloneness, relationship disappears; love becomes very much enhanced.
That too has to be understood: a love relationship is one thing and a loving nature is another thing.
When a relationship disappears a person remains just loving. He can relate but he will not have any relationship. You follow me? He can relate, there is no problem in it; in fact only he can relate, because now there is no problem of relationship. He can relate easily, without any burden, without any thinking, without any fear, but there is no relationship. He lives moment to moment. He is loving but his love is out of his aloneness. His love is not a kind of dependence. He is not a beggar any more, he is a king.
My own understanding about marriage is this, that cunning people invented it, very cunning people invented it. And the whole point is to keep people in an illusion; marriage helps to keep them in an illusion, to remain within the illusion.
One day suddenly all hope disappears; one is hopelessly there. In that hopelessness one starts thinking, 'Why not be alone? What is the point of all this trouble?'
And I am not saying that that point has come. [You have] to go through a few more nightmares!
So don't force it. While you can enjoy these nightmares, do. But I can't help it; one day they are finished. And with my people these fantasies are going to be finished because here is no support for them. I am making everything possible, all kinds of relationships are possible here - casual or not so casual, intimate or not so intimate. The whole point is so that you can see the futility of it. I teach you about love so that you can go beyond it.
But right now you will need a few more, so just find someone. Nothing is wrong with your body, mm?
- once a relationship starts flowing and the honeymoon is there it will be okay!